Arts & Entertainment
Queery: Paul Wharton
The local talk show host answers 20 gay questions
Paul Wharton (Blade file photo by Michael Key)
With Paul Wharton, it’s usually about the hair. He calls to answer a few follow-up questions from the salon. It comes up repeatedly in conversation and anytime you see him — in photos, on TV or in person — it’s obvious his abundant coiffure is never an afterthought.
So when did it become such a trademark? He says it started as an excuse when he was a kid.
“I’ve always said having a bad hair day should be a legitimate reason to miss school and it really started from me being bullied in school,” he says. “I actually want to turn this into a book I’ve been working on for a long time. It was never really about my hair. It was an excuse to try to get to stay home. She never bought it though. She’d say, ‘Your hair is fine, now get on out the door.’”
Wharton says he noticed it becoming part of his on-screen persona when he first went into professional TV with the MTV show “Made” in 2003.
“I kind of went from curly to straight to curly to straight but I think now I’ve straightened it so much, it won’t really go back to curly like it used to. I’ve had too many blow outs, too much coloring over the years. I try it now and it just gets tangled. I used to have these really great corkscrew curls but I’ve overblown it I guess.”
Wharton, a 34-year-old Cleveland native who mostly grew up in the D.C. area, spent several years in New York working on his career. After “Made,” he was a model coach on VH-1’s “The Agency” and also worked on TV Land’s “She’s Got the Look,” TV One’s “MakeoverManor,” BET’s “Who Wore What” and, of course, Bravo’s “Real Housewives of D.C.” Look for him now on Sundays at noon on Channel 50 with “Paul Wharton Style,” a new series he calls a “fashion, beauty and lifestyle talk show,” that debuted this month.
“It’s evolved into something with a little more of a reality aspect,” he says. “We started more by showing the party or whatever the segment was and we started finding the more interesting stuff was following people around getting ready for it. …We wanted a sense of what my real life is, so it’s evolved into more of a lifestyle show.”
Wharton spent about seven years in New York but was lured back to D.C. by family and a former relationship. He’s single now and lives downtown with his dog, Oscar. Wharton enjoys writing and relaxing with spiritual coaching, yoga, massages, spas and church. Find him online at paulwhartonstyle.com.
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I came out when I was 19. It was most difficult to tell my parents. They both needed some time and I gave them space. We’re all very close and they’re extremely supportive to this day.
Who’s your LGBT hero?
My LGBT heroes are the gay people I see strut down the street with over-the-top style, unafraid and unapologetic for being who they are. It takes a real man to pump down U Street on a Saturday night with skin-tight jeans, a face full of make-up and an attitude that says, “Don’t mess with me.”
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
I like the bartenders and two-for-one drinks at Number 9 for happy hour, the eclectic crowd, old school music and dancing on the couches at Darnell’s Lounge on Fridays and the immensely entertaining Drag Show at Town on Saturday nights.
Describe your dream wedding.
My wedding would be officiated by my best friend Omarosa, she’d also give me spiritual counseling and advice on my pre-nuptial agreement (I joke!). I’d like all of my closest friends and family to surround us at the altar and for my godmother Rev. Marcia Dyson to bless our union and give my would-be husband the side eye so he knows not to mess up.
What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Hunger and health care. I’m the ambassador against hunger at Capital Area Food Bank (capitalareafoodbank.org).
What historical outcome would you change?
The assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
I was 5 years old when Michael Jackson performed “Billie Jean” on Motown’s 25th anniversary show.
On what do you insist?
I insist on taking one day a week for myself without any obligations or a schedule to keep. No matter how crazed I get during the week, I know that I’ll have my day coming up soon.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
Tweet “Rollin to get my hair done then a photo shoot with @drewxeron and intrvw with @washingtonblade.
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“Bad Hair Days should be an Excused Absence from School”
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I would break into the science lab late at night and pour the evil orientation-changing formula down the drain. God made me this way and I’m not changing.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
I believe in love and the healing power of love. I believe that we have a spiritual father that with our angels watch over us and guide us through our journey. I believe in faith because without it and all of my other beliefs, my life would seem pretty meaningless.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
My message would be to not give up no matter how much you don’t feel heard or appreciated (even by your own LGBT community). Continue to stand for something and let your voice be heard on behalf of the people.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
That’s a long list. My family, my hair stylist, world peace, large sums of cash — we could be here all day.
What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
I’m most annoyed when I’m in a business meeting and a straight male executive starts talking in gay street slang usually, “Oh no she didn’t” or some other played-out saying while waving his neck from side to side. When it’s time to do business, I like to do business.
What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“The Birdcage” is my favorite. I’ve seen it 50 times and still find it hilarious. I also liked “The Broken Hearts Club,” “Milk” and “Brokeback Mountain.”
What’s the most overrated social custom?
Saying goodbye to other guests at a social event is really overrated. I don’t think it’s necessary to work the room with 100 hellos shaking hands and kissing babies and then when you’re ready to leave, doing it all over again. When I’m ready to roll, I’m out.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
My three awards from D.C. Child and Family Services acknowledging my work with the Foster Youth program.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
I wish I had known to keep a journal. Every now and then I have a flash back to a party, person or amazing experience and I run over to my desk and write it down. I feel like I’ve had five lives and it’d be really mind blowing to be able to look back on them in full detail.
Why Washington?
I lived in New York for several years and still spend a lot of time there. New York is fabulous but there’s no place like home. I really do feel this city is beautiful and full of opportunities and endless possibilities. D.C. has been good to me and I’d always like to have a home here … and St. Tropez!
Books
‘Dogs of Venice’ looks at love lost and rediscovered
A solo holiday trip to Italy takes unexpected turn
‘The Dogs of Venice’
By Steven Crowley
c.2025, G.P. Putnam & Sons
$20/65 pages
One person.
Two, 12, 20, you can still feel alone in a crowded room if it’s a place you don’t want to be. People say, though, that that’s no way to do the holidays; you’re supposed to Make Merry, even when your heart’s not in it. You’re supposed to feel happy, no matter what – even when, as in “The Dogs of Venice” by Steven Rowley, the Christmas tinsel seems tarnished.
Right up until the plane door closed, Paul held hope that Darren would decide to come on the vacation they’d planned for and saved for, for months.
Alas, Darren was a no-show, which was not really a surprise. Three weeks before the departure, he’d announced that their marriage wasn’t working for him anymore, and that he wanted a divorce. Paul had said he was going on the vacation anyhow. Why waste a perfectly good flight, or an already-booked B&B? He was going to Venice.
Darren just rolled his eyes.
Was that a metaphor for their entire marriage? Darren had always accused Paul of wanting too much. He indicated now that he felt stifled. Still, Darren’s unhappiness hit Paul broadside and so there was Paul, alone in a romantic Italian city, fighting with an espresso machine in a loft owned by someone who looked like a frozen-food spokeswoman.
He couldn’t speak or understand Italian very well. He didn’t know his way around, and he got lost often. But he felt anchored by a dog.
The dog – he liked to call it his dog – was a random stray, like so many others wandering around Venice unleashed, but this dog’s confidence and insouciant manner inspired Paul. If a dog could be like that, well, why couldn’t he?
He knew he wasn’t unlovable but solo holidays stunk and he hated his situation. Maybe the dog had a lesson to teach him: could you live a wonderful life without someone to watch out for, pet, and care for you?
Pick up “The Dogs of Venice,” and you might think to yourself that it won’t take long to read. At under 100 pages, you’d be right – which just gives you time to turn around and read it again. Because you’ll want to.
In the same way that you poke your tongue at a sore tooth, author Steven Rowley makes you want to remember what it’s like to be the victim of a dead romance. You can do it here safely because you simply know that Paul is too nice for it to last too long. No spoilers, though, except to say that this novel is about love – gone, resurrected, misdirected – and it unfolds in exactly the way you hope it will. All in a neat evening’s worth of reading. Perfect.
One thing to note: the Christmas setting is incidental and could just as well be any season, which means that this book is timely, no matter when you want it. So grab “The Dogs of Venice,” enjoy it twice with your book group, with your love, or read it alone.
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a&e features
Local, last-minute holiday gift ideas
Celebrate the season while supporting area businesses
The DowntownDC Holiday Market is bustling. Union Station is decked out with its annual Christmas tree. Washingtonians have wrapped their houses and apartment balconies with festive lights and holiday decorations. The holiday season is here. And with stockings to fill and empty space under the tree, Washington’s local shops and artists have plenty to offer.
Show your LGBTQ and D.C. pride with the Washington Blade’s annual holiday gift guide.
To embrace the holiday buzz: The Blanco Nwèl cocktail from Alchy Cocktails. This Caribbean eggnog is one of Alchy Cocktail’s seasonal holiday cocktails. The flavor profile is similar to coquito, a traditional Puerto Rican Christmas drink with a coconut base. As a queer and Caribbean-owned business, Alchy Cocktails has been based out of Washington since 2021. Blanco Nwèl is available in both cocktail ($24) and mocktail ($12) online and at a variety of holiday markets, including the Tingey Plaza Holiday Market, the Flea Market at Eastern Market, Union Station’s Main Hall Holiday Market, and more. ($24)
A spicy bite: Gordy’s Cajun Okra from Salt and Sundry. These spicy, tangy pickles pull on Southern Cajun-style flavors, packing a punch with paprika, cayenne, and more. Gordy’s is an LGBTQ-owned and Washington-based brand, making this gift an opportunity to support a local LGBTQ business straight from the jar. This pantry staple is available on Salt & Sundry’s website and at its locations in Union Market, Logan Circle, and its Georgetown holiday pop-up store. ($14)
To celebrate Washington pride: The DC Landmark Tote Bag from The Neighborgoods. Native Washingtonians, visitors, friends and family alike will find something to love about this Washington-themed tote bag. Food trucks, the 9:30 Club, the Metro logo and pandas from the National Zoo are just some of the city’s landmarks depicted across the tote in a red, white, and blue color palette. The tote is a part of the DC Landmarks collection, which donates 10 percent of its sales to the American Civil Liberties Union. The Neighborgoods itself is a local, woman-owned business built out of a passion for screen-printing in 2013. The 100 percent cotton canvas tote is for sale online or at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($22)
To give friends and family their flowers: The Flowers Bandana from All Very Goods. This 100 percent cotton bandana was designed in Washington and hand printed in India. Its uniqueness comes in being covered with the faces of Black women, representing a “love letter to all women but especially Black women,” according to All Very Goods. The Black woman-owned and operated business, based out of Northwest Washington, has a mission to celebrate diversity and representation through its products. The bandana intends to give Black women their “flowers.” The Flowers bandana is available for purchase online. ($24)
To unlock culinary creativity: The Curious Chef Gift Collection from Each Peach Market. This customizable collection of kitchen oddities — ranging from tinned fish to chili oil — is a quirky gift for the most inventive chefs. The collection is available in a Standard Santa, Extra Goodies and Super Holiday Size for up to $165. The Washington-based market, founded in 2013, permits customers to make the collection special by specifying what unique ingredients are packaged, including products made by local or LGBTQ brands. Each Peach Market offers assembly and pick up in-person at its Mount Pleasant shop and also offers local delivery and nationwide shipping via its website. ($85)
To give a touch of sweetness: The DC Landmark Chocolate Covered Oreo Holiday Cookies from Capital Candy Jar. Wrapped in a festive red bow, this box of nine cookies embraces love for Washington and the holiday season in one. Among the dark and milk chocolate covered cookies are images of the U.S. Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and festive hollies. The treat, packaged in a Hill East facility just a few blocks from the Capitol, is available for purchase online and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($23.95)
To celebrate queer gaming: Thirsty Sword Lesbians from Labyrinth Games & Puzzles. This roleplaying game embraces lesbian culture by unlocking a world of swords, romance, and battle. Ideal for group settings, the book presents a system of world building and character identities that are best brought to life by creative minds. Labyrinth, which has been a local Washington business for more than 15 years, celebrates non-digital fun through games and puzzles that connect the community. This gift is offered online and at Labyrinth’s Capitol Hill location. ($29.99)
To make a bold statement: The “Resist” T-shirt from Propper Topper. This locally screen-printed black tee features the Washington flag designed within a raised fist, symbolizing both Washington pride, and political resistance. The shirt is made exclusively by Propper Topper, a local Washington business that evolved from a hat shop to a gift store since opening in 1990. The tri-blend unisex shirt is available both for pickup at Propper Topper’s Cathedral Heights location and shipping via the online site. ($32)
To keep it c(g)lassy: The Glass Ball earrings from Blue Moon Aquarius. Gifting can rarely go wrong when it comes to a new pair of earrings. The unique statement earrings — made of polymer clay, glass, and 18k gold plating over surgical steel — are hand cut, sanded and assembled in Washington, meaning each set is unique. Blue Moon Aquarius, a local brand, is known for its small batch jewelry and home decor designed with clay materials. Available in oxblood, hunter green, lavender, and bluestone color palettes, these earrings are available for purchase on Blue Moon Aquarius’ website and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($48)
To elevate a holiday tea or charcuterie party: The Honey Flight: Tea Lover’s Selection from BannerBee. This local honey company presents the ideal gift to make cozying up with a cup of tea slightly more special. The Honey Flight contains three types of raw wildflower honey infused with fair trade Ugandan vanilla bean, chai spices, and locally sourced lemon thyme herb. The gift is also an opportunity to uplift a family company based in the Mid-Atlantic that offers all-natural, sustainable products. The flight is available online, at the DowntownDC Holiday Market or at the Arlington Courthouse and Dupont Farmers’ Markets. ($36)
For Baltimore shoppers: If you’re in Charm City, don’t miss Balston Mercantile, opened by a gay couple in June. Their gorgeous shop in the Hampden neighborhood offers an array of unique, upscale finds, from barware and artwork to cookbooks and home decor and more. (849 W. 36th St.)
Impulse Group DC held “10’s Across the Board: A Celebration of 10 Years” at Bravo Bravo (1001 Connecticut Ave., N.W.) on Sunday, Dec. 14. Impulse Group DC is a volunteer-led 501(c)(3) and affinity group of AIDS Healthcare Foundation dedicated “to engaging, supporting, and connecting gay men” through culturally relevant health and advocacy work.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
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