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Welcome to the jungle

Witty author shares retail experiences in new book

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Return to the Big Fancy, books, Washington Blade, gay news
Return to the Big Fancy, books, Washington Blade, gay news

(Courtesy Adams Media)

‘Return to The Big Fancy’
By Freeman Hall
Adams Media
$22.95
272 pages

The holidays are coming. That means you’ll need a little extra.

Extra time to go gift shopping, for sure, and extra closet space in which to hide packages. More importantly, you’ll need extra money for all that buying, which means you’re looking for an extra job.

There are a lot of openings at the mall, but be careful what you ask for. According to Freeman Hall in his new book “Return to The Big Fancy,” that part-time gig you’ll grab might just be extra irritation.

Freeman Hall figured he’d done his time at The Big Fancy, an upscale department store chain with a Burbank location. Hall worked the “Handbag Jungle,” where he dealt with nasty “custys,” greedy co-workers and a store manager he called Suzy Satan. He put up with them all while bringing home an insultingly small paycheck so when he got the chance, he escaped to pursue his dream of being a screenwriter.

But screenwriting didn’t pay the bills. Working at The Big Fancy did. Shortly after leaving, it was back to retail hell at Hall.

The new department manager of Handbag (never “purse”) Jungle was a wonderful woman Hall calls Maude and, since she knew about his past at The Big Fancy, she was happy to hire him. As a former handbag manager, Hall brought experience to the Jungle. He also brought back his best customers.

As for Hall, everything was familiar and depressing from the start.

Forbidden to use an elevator or mall entrance, employees were forced to climb several flights of stairs to get to work. Every day began with ear-splitting announcements and admonishments over the PA system from Suzy Satan to rally (or annoy) the troops. Since The Big Fancy paid its sales associates in commissions, “sharking” (stealing customers) was common and destroyed any sense of teamwork. Rules were loose (unless you broke them) and commissions could be retroactively withdrawn, even years later. The pressure on managers and associates was intense. Adding to it was that customers were always right — even when they weren’t — and discount rats always got their way.

It was frustrating. It was irritating. And it might’ve meant a completely horrible year for Hall, if it wasn’t for The Big Fancy christmas miracle.

So you plan on picking up some hours at the mall this fall. You might want to pick up “Return to The Big Fancy” first, while there’s still time to run.

Author Freeman Hill is both profound and profane in this book (although not as much of the latter as he was in his first book). His observations and his propensity for nickname-giving are both hilarious, but such snarkiness isn’t all you’ll find here: there are a few genuinely wonderful moments at the store and Hall shares them, too.

While retail-working readers will surely identify with this book, it will also give non-retailers a taste of what’s behind the counter. Either way, if you’re getting malled this holiday season, you’ll need a laugh and “Return to The Big Fancy” packs a lot of extras.

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Theater

‘Octet’ explores the depths of digital addiction

Habits not easily shaken in Studio Theatre chamber musical

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The cast of Octet (left to right): Aidan Joyce, Jimmy Kieffer, Chelsea Williams, Tracy Lynn Olivera, Amelia Aguilar (sitting upright), Ana MarcuAngelo Harrington II, and David Toshiro Crane. (Photo by Margot Schulman) 

‘Octet’
Through Feb. 26
Studio Theatre
1501 14th Street, N.W.
Tickets start at $55
Studiotheatre.org

David Malloy’s “Octet” delves deep into the depths of digital addiction. 

Featuring a person ensemble, this extraordinary a capella chamber musical explores the lives of recovering internet addicts whose lives have been devastated by digital dependency; sharing what’s happened and how things have changed. 

Dressed in casual street clothes, the “Friends of Saul” trickle into a church all-purpose room, check their cell phones in a basket, put away the bingo tables, and arrange folding chairs into a circle. Some may stop by a side table offering cookies, tea, and coffee before taking a seat. 

The show opens with “The Forest,” a haunting hymn harking back to the good old days of an analog existence before glowing screens, incessant pings and texts.

“The forest was beautiful/ My head was clean and clear/Alone without fear/ The forest was safe/ I danced like a beautiful fool / One time some time.”

Mimicking an actual step meeting, there’s a preamble. And then the honest sharing begins, complete with accounts of sober time and slips.

Eager to share, Jessica (Chelsea Williams) painfully recalls being cancelled after the video of her public meltdown went viral. Henry (Angelo Harrington II) is a gay gamer with a Candy Crush problem. Toby (Adrian Joyce) a nihilist who needs to stay off the internet sings “So anyway/ I’m doing good/ Mostly/ Limiting my time/ Mostly.”

The group’s unseen founder Saul is absent, per usual.

In his stead Paula, a welcoming woman played with quiet compassion by Tracy Lynn Olivera, leads. She and her husband no longer connect. They bring screens to bed. In a love-lost ballad, she explains: “We don’t sleep well/ My husband I/ Our circadian rhythms corrupted/ By the sallow blue glow of a screen/ Sucking souls and melatonin/ All of my dreams have been stolen.”

After too much time spent arguing with strangers on the internet, Marvin, a brainy young father played by David Toshiro Crane, encounters the voice of a God. 

Ed (Jimmy Kieffer) deals with a porn addiction. Karly (Ana Marcu) avoids dating apps, a compulsion compared to her mother’s addiction to slot machines.

Malloy, who not only wrote the music but also the smart lyrics, book, and inventive vocal arrangements, brilliantly joins isolation with live harmony. It’s really something. 

And helmed by David Muse, “Octet” is a precisely, quietly, yet powerfully staged production, featuring a topnotch cast who (when not taking their moment in the spotlight) use their voices to make sounds and act as a sort of Greek chorus. Mostly on stage throughout all of the 100-minute one act, they demonstrate impressive stamina and concentration. 

An immersive production, “Octet” invites audience members to feel a part of the meeting. Studio’s Shargai Theatre is configured, for the first, in the round. And like the characters, patrons must also unplug. Everyone is required to have their phones locked in a small pouch (that only ushers are able to open and close), so be prepared for a wee bit of separation anxiety. 

At the end of the meeting, the group surrenders somnambulantly. They know they are powerless against internet addiction. But group newbie Velma (Amelia Aguilar) isn’t entirely convinced. She remembers the good tech times.

In a bittersweet moment, she shares of an online friendship with “a girl in Sainte Marie / Just like me.” 

Habits aren’t easily shaken.

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Sports

Blade, Pride House LA announce 2028 Olympics partnership

Media sponsorship to amplify stories of LGBTQ athletes

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(Photo by Chaay Tee via Bigstock)

The Los Angeles Blade and Washington Blade on Friday announced a media partnership with the Out Athlete Fund, which will produce Pride House LA for the 2028 Summer Olympics.

Pride House is the home for LGBTQ fans and athletes that will become a destination during the L.A. Summer Games in West Hollywood in partnership with the City of WeHo. This 17-day celebration for LGBTQ athletes and fans will include medal ceremonies for out athletes, interactive installations, speakers, concerts, and more.

The Los Angeles Blade will serve as the exclusive L.A.-area queer media sponsor for Pride House LA and the Washington Blade will support the efforts and amplify coverage of the 2028 Games.

The Blade will provide exclusive coverage of Pride House plans, including interviews with queer athletes and more. The parties will share content and social media posts raising awareness of the Blade and Out Athlete Fund. The Blade will have media credentials and VIP access for related events. 

“We are excited to partner with the Washington Blade, the oldest LGBTQ newspaper in the United States and the Los Angeles Blade, already a strong supporter of Out Athlete Fund and Pride House LA/West Hollywood,” said Michael Ferrera, CEO of Pride House LA. “Our mission is about increasing the visibility of LGBTQ+ athletes and fans to challenge the historical hostility toward our community in the sports world. Visibility is what publications like the Washington and Los Angeles publications are all about. We know they will play a key part in our success.”

“LGBTQ visibility has never been more important and we are thrilled to work with Out Athlete Fund and Pride House LA to tell the stories of queer athletes and ensure the 2028 Summer Games are inclusive and affirming for everyone,” said Blade Editor Kevin Naff.

Out Athlete Fund is a 501(c)3 designed to raise money to offset the training cost of out LGBTQ athletes in need of funding for training. The Washington Blade is the nation’s oldest LGBTQ news outlet; the Los Angeles Blade is its sister publication founded nine years ago.

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Out & About

Celebrate Black History Month

LGBTQ+ Community Center to host series of events

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‘Paris is Burning’ is screening as part of Black History Month commemorations at the DC Center. (File photo courtesy of Reel Affirmations)

In honor of Black History Month, the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host a series of events uplifting the histories, artistry, and resilience of Black LGBTQ+ communities through dialogue, film, and intentional gathering.

The series begins with “Ballroom Culture: Rhythms of Resilience,” a panel discussion on Tuesday, Feb. 10, 2026 at 7 p.m. Artists, activists, and leaders from the ballroom community will explore ballroom’s historical, cultural, and political significance as a site of resistance, kinship, creative expression, and social justice within Black, Latinx, and LGBTQ+ communities. 

On Friday, Feb. 13 at 12:30 p.m., the Center will host a screening of the groundbreaking documentary “Paris is Burning,” which chronicles New York City’s ballroom scene and house culture while examining themes of race, class, identity, and survival through the voices of legendary performers including Willi Ninja, Pepper LaBeija, and Dorian Corey.

The month will conclude with “Soul Centered: A Black LGBTQ+ Gathering” on Saturday, Feb. 21, 2026 at 3:30 p.m. This free, RSVP-required event invites Black LGBTQ+ community members into a space of rest, connection, and reflection centered on love in all its forms. The gathering will feature a panel conversation with Black LGBTQ+ creatives, healers, and community members, followed by intentional speed connections and a closing social mixer. 

For more details and to RSVP, visit the Center’s website.

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