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Welcome to the jungle

Witty author shares retail experiences in new book

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Return to the Big Fancy, books, Washington Blade, gay news
Return to the Big Fancy, books, Washington Blade, gay news

(Courtesy Adams Media)

‘Return to The Big Fancy’
By Freeman Hall
Adams Media
$22.95
272 pages

The holidays are coming. That means you’ll need a little extra.

Extra time to go gift shopping, for sure, and extra closet space in which to hide packages. More importantly, you’ll need extra money for all that buying, which means you’re looking for an extra job.

There are a lot of openings at the mall, but be careful what you ask for. According to Freeman Hall in his new book “Return to The Big Fancy,” that part-time gig you’ll grab might just be extra irritation.

Freeman Hall figured he’d done his time at The Big Fancy, an upscale department store chain with a Burbank location. Hall worked the “Handbag Jungle,” where he dealt with nasty “custys,” greedy co-workers and a store manager he called Suzy Satan. He put up with them all while bringing home an insultingly small paycheck so when he got the chance, he escaped to pursue his dream of being a screenwriter.

But screenwriting didn’t pay the bills. Working at The Big Fancy did. Shortly after leaving, it was back to retail hell at Hall.

The new department manager of Handbag (never “purse”) Jungle was a wonderful woman Hall calls Maude and, since she knew about his past at The Big Fancy, she was happy to hire him. As a former handbag manager, Hall brought experience to the Jungle. He also brought back his best customers.

As for Hall, everything was familiar and depressing from the start.

Forbidden to use an elevator or mall entrance, employees were forced to climb several flights of stairs to get to work. Every day began with ear-splitting announcements and admonishments over the PA system from Suzy Satan to rally (or annoy) the troops. Since The Big Fancy paid its sales associates in commissions, “sharking” (stealing customers) was common and destroyed any sense of teamwork. Rules were loose (unless you broke them) and commissions could be retroactively withdrawn, even years later. The pressure on managers and associates was intense. Adding to it was that customers were always right — even when they weren’t — and discount rats always got their way.

It was frustrating. It was irritating. And it might’ve meant a completely horrible year for Hall, if it wasn’t for The Big Fancy christmas miracle.

So you plan on picking up some hours at the mall this fall. You might want to pick up “Return to The Big Fancy” first, while there’s still time to run.

Author Freeman Hill is both profound and profane in this book (although not as much of the latter as he was in his first book). His observations and his propensity for nickname-giving are both hilarious, but such snarkiness isn’t all you’ll find here: there are a few genuinely wonderful moments at the store and Hall shares them, too.

While retail-working readers will surely identify with this book, it will also give non-retailers a taste of what’s behind the counter. Either way, if you’re getting malled this holiday season, you’ll need a laugh and “Return to The Big Fancy” packs a lot of extras.

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Arts & Entertainment

The very few queer highlights of the Oscars

Streisand’s live performance, a shocking tie, and more

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(Photo courtesy of AMAS)

LOS ANGELES — While Sunday’s Academy Awards saw the expected winners “One Battle After Another” and “Sinners” nab a collective 10 Oscars throughout the evening, dominating most of the major categories, there were a few moments for queer film fans to celebrate.

During the ceremony’s prolonged and emotional In Memoriam segment, which paid tribute to Robert Redford, Rob Reiner, and Catherine O’Hara, queer icon Barbra Streisand went on stage and gave a rare live performance of “The Way We Were” as a tribute to Redford, who died last September at the age of 83. Before singing, Streisand said, “Now, Bob had real backbone on and off the screen. He spoke up to defend freedom of the press, protect the environment, and encouraged new voices at his Sundance Institute — some of whom are up for Oscars tonight, which is so great. He was thoughtful and bold.”

Both “I Lied to You” from “Sinners” and “Golden” from “KPop Demon Hunters” were performed live; Alabama Shakes front woman Brittany Howard performed during the evening’s powerful rendition of “Sinners’” “pierce the veil” scene. “Golden” ended up winning the Best Original Song award.

One of the most shocking moments of the night arrived early on when Kumail Nanjiani presented the Best Live Action short category, which was a tie between “The Singers” and “Two People Exchanging Saliva” — only the seventh tie in Oscars history (one of which involved Streisand’s 1969 win for “Funny Girl”). The latter short, which is currently streaming on The New Yorker, is described as “a dystopian version of Paris where kissing is forbidden and purchases are made through small acts of violence” and follows the unexpected connection between two women.

When accepting the award, “Two People Exchanging Saliva” director and producer Natalie Musteata said: “Thank you to the Academy for supporting a film that is weird, and that is queer, and that is made by a majority of women!”

“One Battle After Another’s” editor, Andy Jurgensen (who collaborated with Paul Thomas Anderson on “Licorice Pizza” and “Phantom Thread”), kissed his husband before going on stage to accept his award for film editing. He said, “To my partner, Bill, who brings so much joy to my life every day.”

Overall, the 2026 award season did not feature many queer films or actors in the lineup, and that was reflected in both the Oscar nominees and eventual winners. Smaller award shows like the Gotham Awards and the Film Independent Spirit Awards provided opportunities for indies like “Sorry, Baby,” “Twinless,” and “Lurker” to get proper recognition. “One Battle After Another” won Best Picture and Best Director for Paul Thomas Anderson; “Sinners” star Michael B. Jordan won Best Actor; and “Hamnet’s” Jessie Buckley won Best Actress.

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Photos

PHOTOS: Awesome Con

George Takei speaks on the main stage

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George Takei was among the featured guests at Awesome Con on March 14. (Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

The annual fantasy, comics and science fiction convention Awesome Con was held at the Walter E. Washington Convention Center on March 13-15. Featured guests included openly gay actor, author and activist, George Takei. The convention included LGBTQ panels and a “Pride Alley” with LGBTQ-specific booths in the exhibit hall.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Theater

A season of renewal for D.C. theater

‘Streetcar,’ ‘Hamnet,’ ‘Hamlet,’ and many more

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Ismenia Mendes plays Ana in ‘Jonah’ at Studio Theatre. (Photo by Krystena Patton)

Ideally, spring is our season of renewal – personal, emotional, and social. Lucky for those in the DMV, there’s a lot of exhilarating new theater to help make it happen. 

At Arena Stage, there’s still time to catch the world premiere production of “Chez Joey” (extended through March 22). Set around the 1940s Chicago jazz scene, this smart reboot of the Broadway classic “Pal Joey” effervesces with music by Rodgers and Hart and a terrific cast brimming with big talent (including Myles Frost, Awa Sal Secka, and out comedic actor Kevin Cahoon). 

Also at Arena, is “Inherit the Wind” (through April 5), the extraordinarily timely work based on the real-life Scopes “Monkey” Trial. It’s a courtroom drama that pits two towering legal minds against each other in a small-town battle over science, religion, and the right to think. The large, talented cast includes Billy Eugene Jones, Dakin Matthews, and out actors Holly Twyford and Alyssa Keegan.  Arenastage.org 

La Pluma Theatre, a queer Latin company housed in Dupont Underground, presents “The Ladybird of Saint John” (April 6-12), a powerful story about two sisters navigating immigration, separation, and the fragile bonds of family. @laplumatheatre – Instagram 

Great gay playwright Tennessee Williams’ “A Streetcar Named Desire” (April 20–May 4) is also coming to the Dupont Underground space. Directed by out actor/director Nick Westrate, the touring production of Williams’s classic work set in New Orlean’s steamy Vieux Carré is performed with neither set nor props. It focuses on the words. Lucy Owen and Brad Koed star as fragile Blanche Dubois and her brutal brother-in-law Stanley. Dupontunderground.org

Folger Theatre is serving up one of the Bard’s best comedies, “As You Like It” (through April 12). Staged by out director Timothy Douglas, Folger’s production “offers a love note to D.C., imbuing the forest of Arden with the familiar vibes, culture, and characters that mark the District as a singular, resilient, and redemptive place of belonging.” Folger.edu 

As part of the country’s semi-quincentennial celebrations, Ford’s Theatre presents “1776” (through May 16), a Tony Award-winning musical about the Second Continental Congress’s struggle to adopt the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia. Directed by Luis Salgado, the show features a large cast including queer talent like Tom Story, Jake Loewenthal, Jimmy Mavrikes, and Wood Van Meter. Fords.org 

In Falls Church, Creative Cauldron presents “Twelve Dancing Princesses” (through March 29), a Learning Theater Production targeting both kids and adults. Adapted from a Brothers Grimm tale, the eerie story features Spanish language elements and original music by husbands Matt Conner and Stephen Gregory Smith. Creativecauldron.org 

The National Theatre presents “Disney’s Beauty and the Beast” (March 18–April 5). This musical “tale as old as time” is a love story involving Belle, a cursed beast, and the arrogant and famously spurned Gaston played out actor Stephen Mark Lukas, a beauty in his own right. Broadwayatthenational.com 

At Mosaic Theater Company, Michael Bahsil-Cook plays the titular activist/congressman in Psalmayene 24’s “Young John Lewis: Prodigy of Protest.” (March 26–May 3). Staged by Mosaic’s out artistic director Reginald L. Douglas, focuses on Lewis’s formative years of ages 18-28, revealing the budding humanity and heart of this mighty historic figure. Talented out actor Vaughn Ryan Midder plays legendary civil rights activist Medgar Evers and other parts. Mosaictheater.org 

At Olney Theatre Center, it’s the anticipated area premiere of “Appropriate” (March 18–April 19). Penned by Tony Award-winning out playwright Branden Jacobs-Jenkins, the darkly comic work follows a dysfunctional white family that gathers on a plantation home to liquidate their late father’s estate where they uncover a dark history of racism.

Excellent area actors Kimberly Gilbert and Cody Nickell play siblings battling over possessions as well as their father’s shady legacy. Performed in Olney’s black box Mulitz-Gudelsky Theatre Lab, the company promises a unique staging of this important American play.  Jason Loewith directs. 

Also at Olney Theatre, celebrity chef and longtime queer ally Carla Hall debuts her one-woman show, “Carla Hall — Please Underestimate Me” (June 3–July 12). Olneytheatre.org 

British imports are striding the boards at Shakespeare Theatre Company this spring. The first is “Hamnet” (March 17–April 12), the U.S. premiere of the Royal Shakespeare Company’s 2023 stage adaptation of Maggie O’Farrell’s best-selling novel about the life of Shakespeare’s wife, Agnes, and the death of their son.

And then it’s “Eddie Izzard in the Tragedy of Hamlet” (March 27–April 11), a one-woman show in which the British comedian takes on 23 characters in a unique re-telling of the renowned work. Shakespearetheatre.org 

Woolly Mammoth Theatre presents “Travesty” (March 24–April 12). Created and performed by gender fluid drag performer Sasha Velour, the one-person show is part performance art, part history, and part call to action.

Also at Woolly, out actor Justin Weaks stars in his solo piece “A Fine Madness” (June 2–21), in which the Helen Hayes Award-winning actor shares his personal experience as a Black gay man receiving a positive HIV diagnosis. Woollymammoth.net

Spring at Studio Theatre is Rachel Bonds’ “Jonah” (through April 19), an exploration of a woman’s life through relationships with three men. Directed by Taylor Reynolds, the young five-person cast includes Rohan Maletira in the title role and Ismena Mendes as Ana. Mendes is an accomplished stage and screen actor whose described as bisexual/queer in her IMBD bio. Studiotheatre.org 

In Arlington, Signature Theatre’s out artistic director Matthew Gardiner stages “Pippin” (May 12–July 26), Stephen Schwartz’s musical about a young prince searching for a terrific life guided by a theatrical troupe. The original 1972 production featured stars like Ben Vereen and Irene Ryan (best known as TV’s Granny Clampett). Signature’s production’s big names have yet to be shared. Sigtheatre.org 

Exciting stuff ahead. 

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