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Will Obama include gay couples in immigration reform?

White House sounds amenable, but divided Congress an obstacle

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Barack Obama, gay marriage, same sex marriage, marriage equality, gay news, Washington Blade

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

There are signs that President Obama will include relief for bi-national same-sex couples as part of his proposals for comprehensive immigration reform, but whether the Senate will agree to such language as part of bipartisan compromise legislation remains an open question.

Shin Inouye, a White House spokesperson, declined to preview whether Obama will include a provision for bi-national same-sex couples as part of his highly anticipated proposal for immigration reform, but maintained the president is committed to bi-national same-sex couples.

“The president has made it clear on a number of occasions that comprehensive immigration reform is a key priority, including in major speeches over the last four years,” Inouye said. “While I’m not going to preview the president’s proposal, he has long believed that Americans with same-sex partners from other countries should not be faced with the painful choice between staying with the person they love or staying in the country they love, and he welcomes changes that would help keep families together.”

Although not a commitment, that response is the strongest on-the-record statement yet from a White House official on Obama’s support for bi-national couples and whether he’ll seek language to include them as part of his immigration reform plan.

Unlike straight Americans in opposite-sex marriages, gay Americans are unable to sponsor their foreign partners for residency in the United States because they can’t marry in most states and in states where they can, the Obama administration continues to deny marriage-based green card applications because of the Defense of Marriage Act.

Current law could lead to separation for many bi-national same-sex couples — and in some extreme cases deportation of the foreign national in the relationship if they lose their immigration status. Standalone legislation that would address this issue is known as the Uniting American Families Act.

According to a November 2011 report from the Williams Institute, there are an estimated 28,500 bi-national same-sex couples and nearly 11,500 same-sex couples in which neither partner is a U.S. citizen — making for a total of 40,000 couples that are ineligible to take advantage of immigration preferences available to different-sex spouses.

LGBT advocates have been calling on the Obama administration and Congress to address the issue as part of comprehensive immigration reform. While such legislation didn’t move during the first four years of the administration, Obama has pledged to take the lead on reform at the start of his second term.

Obama emphasized that he would pursue comprehensive immigration reform last month during an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” saying, “I’ve said that fixing our broken immigration system is a top priority. I will introduce legislation in the first year to get that done.”

According to a report in the New York Times earlier this month, Obama plans to push Congress to enact a massive overhaul of the immigration system — a large proposal as opposed to a series of separate bills — that would include a path to citizenship for most of the 11 million undocumented immigrants in the country. Additionally, it would set up a nationwide verification system of legal status for all newly hired workers; add visas to relieve backlogs and allow skilled immigrants to stay in the country; and create a guest-worker program to attract low-wage immigrants in the future.

That proposal could be made public in the coming weeks. The Times reported that Obama may elect to lay out his plan in the upcoming State of the Union address. U.S. House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) invited Obama to deliver the address before a joint session of Congress on Feb. 12.

LGBT advocates, including some who spoke to the Washington Blade on condition of anonymity, said they fully expect Obama to include language for bi-national same-sex couples as part of his plan for immigration overhaul. One anonymous advocate said the Obama administration has given them “positive feedback” on an LGBT-inclusive proposal.

Steve Ralls, a spokesperson for Immigration Equality, was among those expressing confidence that Obama would choose to include UAFA in any immigration package that he would propose to Congress.

“Immigration Equality has been very encouraged by our ongoing conversations with the administration,” Ralls said. “We believe the president and his team will help craft and pass a bill that keeps families, gay and straight, together. We are looking forward to the president outlining his vision for reform in the coming weeks, and we take him at his word that keeping LGBT families together is a goal we all share.”

Calls on Obama to address this issue in his immigration plan are concurrent with calls on him to take administrative action. LGBT rights supporters — most recently Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, who a led a group of 13 senators in a letter to the administration — are asking the Department of Homeland Security to hold in abeyance marriage-based green card applications for bi-national couples as a temporary solution to ensure they won’t be separated. The Obama administration has responded by saying it must continue to enforce DOMA and continues to deny these applications.

Still, the Obama administration has taken steps to address this issue, but nothing has been codified into law. In October, the Department of Homeland Security issued guidance stipulating immigration officers should consider “long-term, same-sex partners” as families when considering whether to exercise prosecutorial discretion in the potential deportation of an undocumented immigrant.

Will Senate agree to UAFA-inclusive package?

But while signs indicate that Obama will ask Congress to pass a UAFA-inclusive immigration reform bill, questions linger over whether the Senate will come to an agreement to pass an immigration package that would protect LGBT families.

Concurrent with the plan the White House is developing, a bipartisan group of senators has engaged in talks to craft a comprehensive bill that, according to the Times, could be introduced as early as March with the plan to hold a floor vote before August. Legislation is expected to start in the Democratic-controlled Senate before moving over the Republican-controlled House for final passage.

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), who has championed the legislation in the past, is the lead Democrat involved with the talks, while Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) is the lead Republican. Others reportedly involved in the talks are Sens. Michael Bennet (D-Colo.), Bob Menendez (D-N.J.) and Richard Durbin (D-Ill.) on the Democratic side and Sens. John McCain (R-Ariz.), Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and Mike Lee (R-Utah) on the Republican side.

Charles Schumer, New York, United States Senate, gay news, Washington Blade

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Many Capitol Hill sources said it’s simply too early in the process to determine whether the agreement in the Senate would include UAFA. But one anonymous LGBT advocate said he doesn’t expect the Senate to come up with a proposal that includes UAFA because whatever agreement is concocted must meet the approval of the Republicans involved in the talks, and they won’t be keen on agreeing to explicit LGBT provisions.

In the Human Rights Campaign’s most recent scorecard for the 112th Congress, Republicans involved in the discussions didn’t have strong scores. Lee scored 40, Rubio scored 47 while both McCain and Graham earned low scores of 15. None of the offices of the senators involved in the talks — Democratic or Republican — responded to the Washington Blade’s request for comment on including UAFA in their agreement.

That doesn’t even take into account the chances of passing an LGBT-inclusive bill in the House. Last year, the Senate was able to pass an LGBT-inclusive reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, but the version the House passed lacked such language.

Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.) says immigration reform will be difficult to pass (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.) says immigration reform will be ‘very difficult to pass.’ (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Gay Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.), who’s also been a leading advocate of immigration reform, remains skeptical about the prospects for passing immigration reform this Congress — with or without inclusion of UAFA.

“Immigration reform is going to be very difficult to pass,” Polis said. “The consideration of LGBT families is one of the less controversial aspects. The most controversial aspect is the treatment of the 10 to 15 million people who are already here illegally. So, it’s going to be difficult to get it through. If there is a vehicle to pass immigration reform, I’m going to work hard and I know that Sen. Schumer is also committed to immigration equality for gay and lesbian families.”

Immigration Equality’s Ralls said he’s “increasingly optimistic” that senators would agree to a proposal that would include a provision for bi-national couples — particularly if Obama exercises leadership by including such language in his proposal to Congress.

And in a video report produced by Raw Story earlier this month, a Schumer staffer told a dozen same-sex couples and activists who came to his New York City office that the senator believes UAFA should be part of comprehensive immigration reform. The staffer was later identified as Nick Martin, Schumer’s director of intergovernmental relations.

“He is a co-sponsor of UAFA,” the staffer said. “It is part of his vision for what the comprehensive immigration bill will — it will be included in that. I don’t think the issue is — we’ve quite gotten to that issue yet. We’re really focused right now in terms of a path to citizenship. But it is a key issue for him to get to that as part of that process.”

An earlier version of comprehensive immigration reform introduced by Menendez in the 111th and 112th Congress included UAFA-like language, but that legislation had only Democratic co-sponsors and saw no movement.

In any event, members of Congress still plan on moving forward with standalone legislation that would enable gay Americans to sponsor their foreign partners for residency in the United States. In the past, the bill has been introduced by Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) in the House and Senate Judiciary Chair Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) in the Senate.

“Fairness in our immigration laws for all Americans and their loved ones is of the utmost importance, and in pursuit of that, I look forward to again introducing the Uniting American Families Act early this year,” Leahy said in a statement to the Blade. “I was proud to have a bipartisan bill in the last Congress, and I look forward to working with members from both parties on this issue this year.”

Another key question is whether a provision for bi-national couples is even necessary as part of comprehensive immigration reform if DOMA is struck down by the Supreme Court before the end of June. Justices are weighing a challenge to the anti-gay statute known as Windsor v. United States.

That decision could remove a major barrier for bi-national same-sex couples. Without DOMA, the administration would no longer have an excuse for denying marriage-based green card applications for same-sex couples. Gay Americans who are married to foreign same-sex partners would logically be able to sponsor their partners for residency in the United States.

The sentiment that UAFA will be unnecessary if the court strikes down DOMA was held by Polis, who said the court would be the source of relief for bi-national couples, not legislation.

“Keep in mind one thing, there’s also the pending Supreme Court case, where if DOMA is invalidated, there will not need to be special consideration in the law,” Polis said. “Gay and lesbian marriages would simply be allowed for immigration purposes. So, that’s also happening concurrent with this debate about immigration reform.”

But Ralls said UAFA-inclusive immigration reform is still necessary. First, he noted the court is unpredictable and there’s no guarantee that justices will deliver a ruling in a few months that will be favorable to bi-national couples.

“UAFA in immigration reform is a critical safety net for all couples, should the court not rule favorably,” Ralls said. “Until there is a Supreme Court ruling striking down DOMA once and for all, we are committed to pursuing every possible avenue — in Congress and administratively — to protect the families we represent.”

Further, Ralls said striking down DOMA would not have an impact on all same-sex bi-national couples, such as couples where one spouse is a recent asylee.

Straight asylum seekers who leave a spouse behind in the country of persecution can immediately file to bring a spouse to the United States after winning asylum here. But countries that persecute gays aren’t likely to have marriage equality laws, so the gay asylee would not have been able to marry a partner before fleeing. Even without DOMA, such a gay asylee would have to naturalize — which would take more than five years after arriving in the United States — before that person could sponsor a partner on a visa.

“Of course, the end of DOMA would be a terrific solution for bi-national couples, but until we have that ruling in hand, we are committed to pursuing other options — like inclusive immigration reform — which will give all couples access to a green card,” Ralls concluded.

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Iran

Two gay men face deportation to Iran

Homosexuality remains punishable by death in country

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(Image by Micha Klootwijk/Bigstock)

Advocacy groups are demanding the Trump-Vance administration not to deport two gay men to Iran.

MS Now on Jan. 23 reported the two men are among the 40 Iranian nationals who the White House plans to deport.

Iran is among the countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.

The Washington Blade earlier this month reported LGBTQ Iranians have joined anti-government protests that broke out across the country on Dec. 28. Human rights groups say the Iranian government has killed thousands of people since the demonstrations began.

Rebekah Wolf of the American Immigration Council, which represents the two men, told MS Now her clients were scheduled to be on a deportation flight on Jan. 25. A Human Rights Campaign spokesperson on Tuesday told the Blade that one of the men “was able to obtain a temporary stay of removal from the” 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, and the other “is facing delayed deportation as the result of a measles outbreak at the facility where they’re being held.”

“My (organization, the American Immigration Council) represents those two gay men,” said American Immigration Council Senior Fellow Aaron Reichlin-Melnick in a Jan. 23 post on his Bluesky account. “They had been arrested on charges of sodomy by Iranian moral police, and fled the country seeking asylum. They face the death penalty if returned, yet the Trump (administration) denied their asylum claims in a kangaroo court process.”

“They are terrified,” added Reichlin-Melnick.

My org @immcouncil.org represents those two gay men. They had been arrested on charges of sodomy by Iranian moral police, and fled the country seeking asylum. They face the death penalty if returned, yet the Trump admin denied their asylum claims in a kangaroo court process.

They are terrified.

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— Aaron Reichlin-Melnick (@reichlinmelnick.bsky.social) January 23, 2026 at 8:26 AM

Reichlin-Melnick in a second Bluesky post said “deporting people to Iran right now, as body bags line the street, is an immoral, inhumane, and unjust act.”

“That ICE is still considering carrying out the flight this weekend is a sign of an agency and an administration totally divorced from basic human rights,” he added.

Deporting people to Iran right now, as body bags line the street, is an immoral, inhumane, and unjust act. That ICE is still considering carrying out the flight this weekend is a sign of an agency and an administration totally divorced from basic human rights. www.ms.now/news/trump-d…

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— Aaron Reichlin-Melnick (@reichlinmelnick.bsky.social) January 23, 2026 at 8:27 AM

HRC Vice President of Government Affairs David Stacy in a statement to the Blade noted Iran “is one of 12 nations that still execute queer people, and we continue to fear for their safety.” Stacy also referenced Renee Good, a 37-year-old lesbian woman who a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent shot and killed in Minneapolis on Jan. 7, and Andry Hernández Romero, a gay Venezuelan asylum seeker who the Trump-Vance administration “forcibly disappeared” to El Salvador last year.

“This out-of-control administration continues to target immigrants and terrorize our communities,” said Stacy. “That same cruelty murdered Renee Nicole Good and imprisoned Andry Hernández Romero. We stand with the American Immigration Council and demand that these men receive the due process they deserve. Congress must refuse to fund this outrage and stand against the administration’s shameless dismissal of our constitutional rights.” 

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Federal Government

Top Democrats reintroduce bill to investigate discrimination against LGBTQ military members

Takano, Jacobs, and Blumenthal sponsored measure

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U.S. Rep. Mark Takano (D. Calif.) speaks at a Hispanic Federation press conference outside U.S. Capitol on July 9, 2024. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Multiple high-ranking members of Congress reintroduced the Commission on Equity and Reconciliation in the Uniformed Services Act into the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate, aiming to establish a commission to investigate discriminatory policies targeting LGBTQ military members.

Three leading Democratic members of Congress — U.S. Rep. Mark Takano (D-Calif.), who is the House Veterans’ Affairs Committee’s ranking member and chairs the Congressional Equality Caucus; U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.), who is the Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee’s ranking member; and U.S. Rep. Sara Jacobs (D-Calif.) — introduced the bill on Tuesday.

The bill, they say, would establish a commission to investigate the historic and ongoing impacts of discriminatory military policies on LGBTQ servicemembers and veterans.

This comes on the one-year anniversary of the Trump-Vance administration’s 2025 Executive Order 14183, titled “Prioritizing Military Excellence and Readiness,” which essentially banned transgender servicemembers from openly serving in the Armed Forces, leading to the forced separation of thousands of capable and dedicated servicemembers.

In a joint statement, Takano, Blumenthal, and Jacobs shared statistics on how many service members have had their ability to serve revoked due to their sexual orientation:

“Approximately 114,000 servicemembers were discharged on the basis of their sexual orientation between WWII and 2011, while an estimated 870,000 LGBTQ servicemembers have been impacted by hostility, harassment, assault, and law enforcement targeting due to the military policies in place,” the press release reads. “These separations are devastating and have long-reaching impacts. Veterans who were discharged on discriminatory grounds are unable to access their benefits, and under the Trump administration, LGBTQ+ veterans and servicemembers have been openly persecuted.”

The proposed commission is modeled after the Congressional commission that investigated and secured redress for Japanese Americans interned during World War II. Takano’s family was among the more than 82,000 Japanese Americans who received an official apology and redress payment under that commission.

The press release notes this is a major inspiration for the act.

“Qualified servicemembers were hunted down and forced to leave the military at the direction of our government,” said Takano. “These practices have continued, now with our government targeting transgender servicemembers. The forced separation and dishonorable discharges LGBTQ+ people received must be rectified, benefits fully granted, and dignity restored to those who have protected our freedoms.”

“LGBTQ+ servicemembers have long been the target of dangerous and discriminatory policies—resulting in harassment, involuntary discharge, and barriers to their earned benefits,” said Blumenthal. “Establishing this commission is an important step to understand the full scope of harm and address the damage caused by policies like ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ As LGBTQ+ servicemembers and veterans face repugnant and blatant bigotry under the Trump administration, we will keep fighting to secure a more equitable future for all who serve our country in uniform.”

“Instead of righting wrongs and making amends to our LGBTQ+ service members and veterans who’ve suffered injustices for decades, I’m ashamed that the Trump administration has doubled down: kicking trans folks out of the military and banning their enlistment,” said Jacobs. “We know that LGBTQ+ service members and veterans have faced so much ugliness — discrimination, harassment, professional setbacks, and even violence — that has led to unjust discharges and disparities in benefits, but we still don’t have a full picture of all the harm caused. That needs to change. That’s why I’m proud to co-lead this bill to investigate these harms, address the impacts of discriminatory official policies like ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ and the transgender military ban, and ensure equity and justice for our LGBTQ+ service members and veterans.”

Takano and Jacobs are leading the bill in the House, while Blumenthal is introducing companion legislation in the Senate.

Takano’s office has profiled and interviewed LGBTQ servicemembers who were harmed by discriminatory policies in the uniformed services.

The Commission on Equity and Reconciliation in the Uniformed Services Act is supported by Minority Veterans of America, Human Rights Campaign, Equality California, SPARTA, and the Transgender American Veterans Association.

In recent weeks, thousands of trans military members were forcibly put into retirement as a result of Trump’s executive order, including five honored by the Human Rights Campaign with a combined 100 years of service, all due to their gender identity: Col. Bree B. Fram (U.S. Space Force), Commander Blake Dremann (U.S. Navy), Lt. Col. (Ret.) Erin Krizek (U.S. Air Force), Chief Petty Officer (Ret.) Jaida McGuire (U.S. Coast Guard), and Sgt. First Class (Ret.) Catherine Schmid (U.S. Army).

Multiple career service members spoke at the ceremony, including Takano. Among the speakers was Frank Kendall III, the 26th U.S. Air Force secretary, who said:

“We are in a moment of crisis that will be worse before it is better. Members of my father’s and mother’s generation would ask each other a question: what did you do during the war? Someday we will all be asked what we did during this time. Please think about the answer that you will give.”

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Gay men, ketamine, and trauma. A therapy or a trap?

For many, the escape doesn’t last

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(Photo by Jon Cherry)

Uncloseted Media published this article on Jan. 24.

This story was produced with the support of MISTR, a telehealth platform offering free online access to PrEP, DoxyPEP, STI testing, Hepatitis C testing and treatment and long-term HIV care across the U.S. MISTR did not have any editorial input into the content of this story.

This story talks about addiction and substance use. If you or someone you know needs help, resources can be found here.

By SAM DONNDELINGER | In 2015, on the patio of Nowhere Bar, a queer nightclub in Louisville, Ky., music pulsed and bodies pressed as 23-year-old Lucas Pearson moved through the flashing lights and a blur of grinding limbs.

“I just randomly started talking to this guy,” he recalls. “He had this little spoon on a necklace, scooped out a hit of white powder, and handed it to me.”

Pearson sniffed it. Euphoria washed over him, time began to slow and the dancing bodies faded into a soft haze. For more than 10 minutes, Pearson felt “entirely present.” His social anxiety, depression, and any sadness he was feeling melted away.

While Pearson wouldn’t use ketamine again for the next five years, he says the feeling of ease the drug gave him was always “in the back of [his] mind.” So when he tried it for a second time in 2020 at a farm in upstate Kentucky, he liked the way it felt to disassociate from his childhood trauma.

“We got really messed up that night on it, and I was like, ‘I love this. I’ve missed this,’” Pearson told Uncloseted Media. “‘And I’m ready for some more.’”

Over the next three years, Pearson began using every day. Working remotely in the health care industry, no one checked in on him as long as he got his work done. He used ketamine at nightclubs, social events, game nights with friends and, eventually, at home alone.

“I was actively hooked on it,” he says. “I didn’t wanna do much of anything other than find that dissociating feeling. I just kept chasing it.”

While evidence suggests that most psychedelics have a lower risk of addiction than other drugs, ketamine is an exception, in part because it affects dopamine levels. In a 2007 bulletin from the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, one researcher noted that after ketamine was invented in 1962, it developed a “reputation for insidiously trapping those who really knew better.” As a dissociative drug, ketamine induces a sense of detachment from one’s body, producing a trance-like state marked by pain relief, amnesia, euphoria, and a distortion of reality.

Despite declines in the use of other recreational drugs such as cocaine, ecstasy and nitrous oxide, ketamine use continues to rise, with one study finding that use increased by 81.8 percent from 2015 to 2019 and rose another 40 percent from 2021 to 2022. That increase is driven in part by ketamine’s growing legitimacy as a treatment for depression, anxiety, OCD, trauma, and even addiction.

As a result, ketamine clinics have proliferated across the U.S. with relatively few guardrails. At least a thousand clinics now offer off-label ketamine treatments outside of FDA-approved protections. Many commercial providers advertise same-day appointments and “almost immediate results.”

Alex Belser, a psychologist who studies psychedelic use in the queer community, says ketamine use has become pervasive among gay men. A 2025 study found that gay and lesbian adults in the U.S. are almost four times more likely to use ketamine than their heterosexual counterparts, and a 2011 study from the U.K. found that queer men were over three times more likely than queer women to use the drug.

Belser thinks ketamine use is so popular among gay men in part because of the high rates of loneliness, rejection, and trauma they experience. “Ketamine is not inherently good or bad. When used thoughtfully with integrity, with good protocols, it can be a really helpful medicine. But if left unregulated, with the amount of access and normalization we have, it can lead to addiction, harm, isolation, and bad outcomes,” he says.

Belser believes health misinformation is fueling a misunderstanding among gay men about the actual harm the drug can cause. “The medical and clinical communities have failed people by not adequately telling them that ketamine can lead to addiction and problematic outcomes,” he says. “It can serve people, but it can also damage people.”

‘Happy people don’t do ketamine’

Part of the appeal of ketamine is that dissociative feelings can relieve depressive symptoms, making it alluring to those who have trauma or mental health disorders. While properly regulated treatment works for some people, psychiatrist Owen Bowden-Jones says that he senses “the vast majority [of those addicted] are using it to self-medicate for emotional distress.”

“I always wanted to numb out my past,” says Pearson. “For the longest time, I saw ketamine as a possible way out.”

Pearson, now 33, was raised in a conservative and religious family. When he came out as gay to his mom at 16, he cried so much that he couldn’t speak and had to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to her.

“She stormed out of the house and ended up calling every member of the family and outing me. So that was really painful,” he says. “My whole childhood, I did not feel like I could be who I knew I was.”

“So when I picked up drugs, it was definitely a thought in my mind: This life that I lived as a child, I don’t want to feel it anymore,” he says. “I just want to numb it.”

One study shows that gay men are over three times as likely to develop PTSD compared to their heterosexual counterparts. Trauma can be one event or a “long string of daily hurts, such as … homophobia, bullying, and time spent in the closet,” according to Chris Tompkins, a licensed family therapist who works with gay men. Research shows that people who experience trauma are more likely to have addiction issues.

J, a 33-year-old marketing researcher based in Los Angeles, says his ketamine use began casually in his early 20s in New York’s queer nightlife scene, where the drug circulated freely. What started as an occasional escape intensified during the pandemic, when isolation, depression, and easy access turned ketamine into a daily habit.

“There’s a pretty fair connection between feelings of not being normal and my ketamine addiction,” J told Uncloseted Media. “I was bullied for being more feminine. My sexuality was a subject of speculation and that forced me to close down. So something like a dissociative drug is appealing because it either allows me to continue those blocks or to bring down the barriers.”

“There was a night when I had done K for the first time in a while, and the next couple of days, I felt so good,” he says. “I felt like my depression had lifted, and that feeling of doubt and fear I’d had throughout my life was totally gone.”

After that night, J, who asked to use a first initial to protect his identity, started using ketamine daily to chase the feeling of euphoria and relief. He got a prescription for ketamine treatment therapy, but he says it wasn’t enough.

“There were days when I would go do an infusion of ketamine and I would do more at home on my own. If I have the ability to escape feelings, to numb feelings, I will go after that.”

Many ketamine clinics in the U.S. advertise ketamine therapy as a cure-all. For example, the online clinic Better U promises that ketamine therapy will help you say goodbye to “Trauma,” “Chronic Stress,” “Depression and Anxiety,” “OCD,” “PTSD” and “Grief.”

What the clinic doesn’t note on its landing page is the possibility of addiction, which is what happened to J. While a common dose of ketamine is between 30-75 mg, J began using multiple grams a day. He spent thousands of dollars a month on ketamine and began structuring his life around the drug. “It stopped being about going out or having fun,” he says. “It just became what I did day in and day out.”

“Happy people don’t do ketamine,” Tasha, who is in recovery from a six-year-long addiction, told Uncloseted Media. She first tried the drug for fun at 17, but it became a problem after her father died when she was 26. At her peak, she was taking six to nine grams every day and up to 24 grams over the weekends.

“The wheels just fell off,” she says. “It’s an escapism drug — of course people with more trauma will do it more. You want to forget about everything so you take it and then it stops becoming fun and you don’t want to see your friends anymore. You just stay in your home behind closed doors sniffing K to get out of your head.”

The physical consequences of ketamine

Tasha didn’t know that chronic ketamine use can cause inflammation, ulceration, and damage or scarring to the bladderliver, kidneys, and gallbladder. After using it for six years, she checked herself into the intensive care unit.

“I was just writhing in pain from K cramps, like a sharp stabbing pain under your ribs,” she says. “The trouble is, nothing works to fix them. The only thing that helps is doing more K. I had no idea it was so painful,” says Tasha, adding that she’s seen four people die from ketamine addiction in the last three years.

“There were times in my use where I would be screaming in bed in the worst agony I’ve ever felt in my life,” J says. “The only thing that made the pain better was using more drugs. It got to the point that I needed to have some amount of K in my system to function.”

“There is a massive explosion of ketamine use and addiction,” Mo Belal, a consultant urological surgeon and an expert on the severe bladder and kidney damage caused by chronic ketamine abuse, told Uncloseted Media. “The trouble is, it’s impossible to treat bladder and kidney damage when people are still using.”

Belal says that for those seeking treatment, there are no specific ketamine rehabilitation programs in the U.S. “Addiction and pain management services need to be involved in healing from ketamine abuse, because the drug’s effects often require specialized support.”

Belal says that during a one-hour rehab session, someone experiencing severe ketamine-related bladder pain might need to leave every 20 minutes, making it difficult for the patient to stay engaged.

“We need more awareness,” he says. “We need more centers for ketamine rehabilitation.”

Education and awareness

While there is some research about the effects of ketamine, Belser could not point to any studies that focus on how the drug intersects with gay men experiencing trauma. “The community of ketamine researchers and prescribers has been naive historically in understanding the habit-forming properties of ketamine,” he says. “What are the effects of ketamine use, good or bad, for gay men experiencing trauma, lifelong discrimination, and family rejection? We don’t know, because critical research hasn’t been funded.”

The Drug Enforcement Administration classifies ketamine’s abuse potential as moderate to low, a designation that may contribute to limited public education about its risks, including dependence and long-term side effects. Many people who encounter ketamine on the dance floor think it’s a healthy alternative to alcohol because they believe it’s non-addictive and it doesn’t give you a hangover.

“I did think that it was pretty safe when I was using and I didn’t think it was going to be addictive,” Pearson says.

Pearson, who has been clean for two years, says it wasn’t until he reached out to a friend who had recovered from ketamine use that he began getting clean. “I saw how happy my friend was in recovery, how normal his life felt. … And I knew that was the life I wanted.”

Similarly, for J, he felt alone in his ketamine addiction. It wasn’t until he found a queer-centered substance rehab program in LA that he felt some hope.

“It helped patch some of the missing pieces to my experiences in treatment before,” he says. “I think that relapse is a part of every addict’s story and every recovery story. But I think my relapses indicated that I still had some unresolved trauma and deep wounds that I hadn’t been aware of yet. And I think being around queer people in recovery has been helpful for me to feel a lot more comfortable with myself.”

Today, J is in therapy, continuing to break down the walls of his childhood trauma. Pearson is in a 12-step program after doing intensive therapy in his first few months of sobriety to help “clear up a lot of traumatic things that happened” in his past.

“I finally realized how far I’d drifted from everyone in my life — my friends, my family, even myself,” Pearson says. “I was chasing this feeling of disappearance, and it almost cost me everything. If I hadn’t stopped when I did, I don’t think I’d still be here. Getting sober gave me my life back, and I don’t ever want to lose that again.”

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