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Queery: DJ Rosie Hicks

The popular lesbian MC on teaching, her kids, and filling the floor

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Rosie Hicks, DJ Rosie, Queery, gay news, Washington Blade
Rosie Hicks, DJ Rosie, Queery, gay news, Washington Blade

Rosie Hicks (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Sleep experts say some people just need less sleep than others. DJ Rosie Hicks must be one of those — her toughest night is Thursday when she does hip-hop night at Club Hippo in Baltimore until 2 a.m., then has to be at work at 7:30 a.m. teaching special ed at one of the Kennedy Krieger schools.

For years she DJ’ed on both Thursday and Friday nights but only does one Friday night a month now.

“I don’t know, I just do it,” she says. “I’m used to it at this point. I’m fortunate I love both my jobs so I just go into it knowing I’m going to be a little more tired on Fridays.”

Hicks started spinning at Gallagher’s, a former women’s bar in Baltimore about 12 years ago. She was there one night when the manager fired the DJ and told the patrons they would have to provide their own music that night.

“I got hired that night,” Hicks says. “By the end of the night, all my friends were calling me DJ Rosie. I had never DJ’ed a day in my life.”

And she never stopped — in addition to her Hippo gig, she also has monthly nights at Cobalt (she’s spun for LURe since it started) and Phase 1 of Dupont in Washington. She also does weddings, parties and private events. Listen for her at the Her HRC event Sunday from 6-11 p.m. upstairs at Town (2009 8th St., N.W.). Her set is at 10 p.m. She’ll face off with lesbian DJs from Philadelphia, Boston and Washington. Tickets are available at the door or online. The event has its own page at hrc.org.

Hicks, who spins a mix of hip-hop, R&B, pop and more depending on the event, says she just all-around loves music.

“I love making people happy out there,” the 30-year-old Baltimore native says. “The whole point of coming out to a bar or club to hear a DJ is to let go of worries and cares and enjoy it.”

Hicks has lived in Baltimore her whole life except for a brief stint in Cincinnati in 2007. She lives in Hamilton, the same East Baltimore neighborhood in which she grew up. She and long-time partner Kris got married after five years together last fall. Together they’re raising daughters Khenna, 8, and Jaidenne, 11 (Kris’s from a previous marriage).

In her free time, Hicks enjoys coaching her daughter’s soccer team, sports, watching the Ravens and, of course, DJing.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out since I was 18 years old. I was most afraid to tell my father, because I have a much older brother who is also gay and my father almost never talked about him. About seven months into being out, I mentioned to my dad in a nonchalant way that I went out with a girl I was dating at the time. He asked me why I never told him that I was interested in women, and I replied that I was afraid. He told me that he loved me, already knew and it didn’t matter. Twelve years later, he and my mother continue to be my biggest supporters.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

I really like both Ellen and Rosie O’Donnell. Both of these women live or have lived their lives in front of cameras and are fully honest about their lives and marriages to women, yet continue to be successful individuals in the entertainment industry.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

I’ll never forget my first visit to a gay club in D.C., the Hung Jury. It was a week after my 18th birthday and I had never danced with a woman before. Although I wouldn’t vote this club to be the “best” (more like a hole in the wall), I was certainly thankful that a club existed for 18 year olds to go and party with other women, as I had never experienced that and needed it. Venues for the underage crowd no longer exist! Fast forward to modern day D.C., and I absolutely love what women’s events I’m a part of, especially any LURe event. We recently celebrated our four-year anniversary at Cobalt and I’ve got nothing but love for that venue!

Describe your dream wedding.

I already had it right here in Baltimore on Oct. 12, 2012 at Cylburn Arboretum. We were surrounded by 125 friends and family, our parents walked down the aisle with us, the weather was perfect and everything went as planned! The icing on the cake? Not wanting to wait to see if Maryland passed marriage equality, we made our marriage official in D.C. a week prior, which requires a D.C. address on your certificate. Instead of having it done at the courthouse, a good friend of mine who is an officiant in the D.C. area married us at our favorite coffee shop, Starbucks on 14th Street!

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

I am very passionate about working with individuals with special needs especially those who are in the process of exiting the school system and preparing for the transition into adulthood.

What historical outcome would you change?

I would bring back some of our most iconic figures who were lost too soon. There were too many people who were wise beyond their years and taken away from us. Martin Luther King Jr., John F. Kennedy, etc.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Boy bands and the fact that I still love them. But I’m talking ‘NSYNC, 98 degrees, and the Backstreet Boys. I know all the words and I’m not even ashamed! Losing Michael Jackson was also really tough.

On what do you insist?

Honesty, loyalty, integrity, laughter and a lack of overall B.S.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

“Whyyyy do I always need the bathroom in an emergency fashion after leaving work?”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Dear Rosie, When Do You Sleep?”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I’d probably change the channel. I like being me, and I wouldn’t be who and where I am today without the fact that I’m a woman who loves women.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I’m a non-church attending Christian, who has had plenty of personal proof that God is looking out for us. I’m far from a Bible thumper and would never try to sway even one person to believe what I do. With that said, I’m sure there is a DJ booth in the sky with my name on it whenever it’s that time.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Always remember to give back to the community that supports you and be grateful. None of us got where we are without support from someone.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

My wife Kris, my kids and my parents.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That there has to be a “guy” and a “girl” or rigid gender roles in every same-sex relationship. People assume that I’m the “guy” because I despise dresses and don’t do makeup. You know what they say about assuming right?

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

I haven’t watched any LGBT movies in ages, but my coming out movie was definitely “But I’m a Cheerleader.”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Valentine’s Day! Totally a waste of money. You should show your significant other love every day of the year.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

Winning Best DJ in the 2012 Washington Blade Best of Gay D.C. was pretty amazing for me. It felt like my last 11 years of working hard to entertain the LGBT community finally paid off! I’d also say my two college degrees feel pretty good.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That 90 percent of the people I stressed about being my friend/dating me/ spending time with me at that time would only lead me to bigger and better things, and that it’s OK to lose some people along the way. The 10 percent who are still here (and you know who you are) are so very special to me and I’m always going to be thankful for that. Your social world at that time means so much to you, but as you get older and more focused, you see what’s truly important.

Why Washington?

I love the people, the culture and diversity, the energy and the nightlife. It’s the city that loves you back! Thank you D.C. for all the years we’ve shared, and here’s to many more!

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Real Estate

The rise of virtual home tours

Adapting to changing consumer preferences in spring real estate

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Looking for a home? Virtual tours hold special benefits for queer buyers.

In today’s dynamic real estate market, the spring season brings not only blooming flowers but also a surge of activity as buyers and sellers alike prepare to make their moves. However, in recent years, there’s been a notable shift in how consumers prefer to explore potential homes: the rise of virtual tours. 

For the LGBTQ community, these virtual experiences offer more than just convenience; they provide accessibility, safety, and inclusivity in the home buying process. 

Gone are the days of spending weekends driving from one open house to another – unless that’s your thing of course, only to find that the property doesn’t quite match expectations. With virtual tours, you can explore every corner of a home from the comfort of your own space – find something interesting? Schedule a showing with any LGBTQ Realtor at GayRealEstate.com.

This is particularly significant for LGBTQ individuals, who may face unique challenges or concerns when attending in-person showings. Whether it’s the ability to discreetly view properties without fear of discrimination or the convenience of touring homes located in LGBTQ-friendly neighborhoods across the country, virtual tours offer a sense of empowerment and control in the home buying process.

Moreover, virtual tours cater to the diverse needs of the LGBTQ community. For couples or families with busy schedules or those living in different cities or states, these digital walkthroughs provide a convenient way to view properties together without the need for extensive travel. Additionally, for individuals who may be exploring their gender identity or transitioning, virtual tours offer a low-pressure environment to explore potential living spaces without the added stress of in-person interactions.

At GayRealEstate.com, we understand the importance of adapting to changing consumer preferences and leveraging technology to better serve our community. That’s why our agents offer an extensive selection of virtual tours for LGBTQ individuals and allies alike – visit our website, choose an agent and within minutes you’ll have access to the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) via their website.

From cozy condominiums in bustling urban centers to sprawling estates in picturesque suburbs, virtual tours showcase a wide range of properties tailored to diverse tastes and lifestyles.

In addition to virtual tours, GayRealEstate.com provides comprehensive resources and support to guide LGBTQ buyers and sellers through every step of the real estate journey. Our network of LGBTQ-friendly agents is committed to providing personalized service, advocacy, and representation to ensure that all individuals feel respected, valued, and empowered throughout the process. Plus, we are happy to provide a free relocation kit to any city in the USA or Canada if you are a home buyer.

As we embrace the spring season and all the opportunities it brings in the real estate market, let’s also celebrate the power of virtual tours to revolutionize the way we find and experience our future homes. Whether you’re searching for your first apartment, forever home, or investment property, GayRealEstate.com is here to help you navigate the exciting world of real estate with confidence, pride, and inclusivity.

Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].

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Advice

Should I divorce my husband for the hot new guy in our building?

Debating whether to leave or stay after the sex goes cold

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Dear Michael,

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the sex is pretty much gone. It stopped being exciting a long time ago and pretty much the only time we ever do it is with the occasional third.

A really hot guy moved into our building about a year ago. We would see each other sometimes in the elevator or at our building’s gym and we started talking and really hit it off. Mark is 15 years younger than I but we seem to have a lot in common. We started hooking up and the sex is amazing.

I haven’t told my husband because it’s breaking our rule about no repeats. I have to say that the secrecy is hot. It’s kind of a thrill to take the elevator upstairs when I say I’m going on an errand. But it’s more than that. I have a connection with Mark that is far more amazing than what I have ever felt with my husband. Not just the sex. We just enjoy being together, talking about anything and everything.

My husband went to visit his family last weekend and I spent the whole time with Mark. Since then I can’t stop thinking that I want to leave my husband and be with Mark.

Part of me thinks this is a crazy mid-life crisis. I mean, this kid’s in a totally different place in life. But we have mind-blowing sex and a fantastic connection. I’d like your thoughts on how to proceed.

Michael replies: 

You’ve got a lot to consider.

First: Sex with a long-term partner changes over time. It tends to be less about erotic heat and more about the connection with a person whom you love. In other words, it’s being with the person you’re with that makes the sex meaningful and even great. Having a good sexual relationship with a long-term partner comes far more from a heart connection than from a crotch attachment.  

Second: You seem ready to throw your relationship under the bus pretty quickly, without addressing other problems in the relationship besides sex. When you are sneaking around, lying, and rule-breaking , I don’t see how you can look your husband in the eye; and if you can’t look him in the eye, you certainly can’t have even a half-way decent relationship.

Yet another point to consider: Affairs pretty much always seem more exciting than marriage. The partner is new, which almost automatically makes the sex hotter; the secrecy is a thrill; and you don’t have to deal with paying the rent, house chores, and all the petty annoyances of living up-close with someone day-in, day-out.  

You are bringing lots of energy to your affair, and everything about it is exciting. You are bringing no energy — at least no positive energy — to your marriage. You get what you put into a relationship.

Divorce is not something that should be entered into lightly. Be aware that if you leave your husband for Mark, you will no doubt find over time that the sex becomes less exciting and that the connection is not always fantastic. No surprise, 75 percent of marriages that begin with affair partners end in divorce. While I don’t think statistics predict what will happen to any particular couple, believing that you will have a significantly better relationship with your affair partner than you did with your husband sets you up for likely disappointment.

Many gay men focus on “hot sex” as the big draw, pursuing a lot of sex with a lot of men, and/or pursuing an ongoing series of relationships that last until the sex cools. If that’s what you want, that’s fine. But it’s a different path from pursuing a close and loving long-term relationship, which involves knowing someone well and having him know you well; collaborating on getting through the hard stuff life throws at us; finding ways to make peace with disappointment; and consistently striving to be someone worth being married to. 

How to proceed? While you are the only person who should make that decision, I would suggest that whatever your choice, keep in mind that marriage can be more than what you’ve made of it, so far.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Autos

Sport haulers: Jeep Grand Cherokee, Mercedes GLE-Class

Updated cabins, adept handling, and more

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Jeep Grand Cherokee

Now that March Madness and the Masters are over, it’s time for, well, everything else. For my husband and me, this means water sports, as in kayaks and rowing sculls, which is why we trekked to the Potomac for the George Washington Invitational regatta last weekend. 

Alas, high winds splashed cold water on the event, canceling much of it. But there was still plenty of spirited camaraderie to rival “The Boys in the Boat.” 

And I was reminded of my time years ago as a rower with D.C. Strokes, ferrying teammates to races up and down the East Coast. Back then my ride was a dated, rather cramped four-door sedan. 

If only we could have paddled around in a sporty SUV like the two reviewed here. Now that would have been some smooth sailing (wink-wink). 

JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE 

$40,000

MPG: 19 city/26 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.5 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 37.7 cu. ft. 

PROS: Updated cabin, adept handling, strong towing 

CONS: So-so gas mileage, no third row, pricey trim levels

IN A NUTSHELL: Rough, tough and buff. It’s doesn’t get much more butch than a Jeep. This year’s Grand Cherokee is no exception, with rugged looks, expert off-road capability and better-than-average towing capacity of 6,200 pounds. 

There are a dizzying number of trim levels—more than a dozen—starting with the barebones base-model Laredo at an affordable $40,000. The lineup tops out with the Summit Reserve 4xe PHEV, which is almost twice the price at $76,000 and one of various plug-in hybrid versions available. Those plug-in hybrids can drive up to 25 miles on all-electric power before the four-cylinder gas engine kicks in. Otherwise, you can choose from a standard V6 or V8. Gas mileage on all trim levels is basically the same as the competition. 

Where the Grand Cherokee really shines is in the handling. More refined than a Wrangler but less lavish than a Land Rover, this Jeep maneuvers just as well on city streets and highways as it does on bumpier terrain.    

I tested the mid-range and mid-priced Overland, which comes standard with four-wheel drive and large 20-inch wheels. It also boasts a slew of niceties, such as quilted upholstery, panoramic sunroof and high-tech digital displays. These include a 10.25-inch infotainment touchscreen and rear-seat entertainment system. 

The nine-speaker Alpine stereo, designed specifically for the Grand Cherokee, is pleasing. But I really wanted to hear the boffo 19-speaker McIntosh surround-sound system that Jeep also offers. Sigh, it’s only available on the premium Summit trim level. 

MERCEDES GLE-CLASS

$64,000 

MPG: 20 city/25 highway

0 to 60 mph: 6.6 seconds

Maximum cargo room: 33.3 cu. ft. 

PROS: Lush interior, silky-smooth suspension, speedy 

CONS: Some confusing electronics, tight third row, many competitors

IN A NUTSHELL: For a more high-class hauler, there’s the Mercedes GLE-Class. This midsize SUV is similar in size to the Jeep Grand Cherokee. But instead of seating five passengers, the GLE can carry up to seven. Sure, legroom in the optional third row may be tight for taller travelers, but it’s perfect for a cocky cockswain or two. 

Six trim levels, ranging from the base-model GLE 350 to two high-performance AMG models. For eco-conscious buyers, the GLE 450e plug-in hybrid arrived earlier this year and can run on battery power alone for almost 60 miles. 

My test car was the top-of-the-line AMG 63 S 4Matic, a head-turner in every way. Priced at a whopping $127,000, this GLE looks best in glossy black with the Night Package, which includes tasteful jet-black exterior accents and matte-black wheels. To complete the Darth Vader effect, there’s a deep, menacing exhaust rumble that’s downright threatening.

You expect such a ride to be wicked fast, and it is: 0 to 60 mph in a blistering 3.7 seconds. Yet the carbon ceramic brakes with their devil-red calipers are equally impressive in slowing things down quickly. 

Inside, each GLE comes with two large digital displays on the elegantly sculpted dashboard. My favorite feature is the “Hey Mercedes” digital assistant, which responds to voice commands such as opening or closing the sunroof, operating the infotainment system or activating the climate controls. 

It’s hard to find sport seats that are more comfortable, especially with the heavenly massage function (though those massage controls could be a bit more user-friendly.) For AMG models, the seats come with red-contrasting stitching and red seatbelts—a nod to the devilish demeanor under the hood.

Considering all the SUVs available in showrooms, few make quite the splash of a GLE.

Mercedes GLE-Class
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