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Queery: Lauren Morris

D.C. Black Pride board member answers 20 gay questions

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Lauren Morris, gay news, Washington Blade
Lauren Morris, gay news, Washington Blade

Lauren Morris (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Lauren Morris came to D.C. in 2007 fresh out of high school to attend Howard University and found a home.

She majored in psychology, graduated in 2011 and is now a project leader at City Year, an educational non-profit where she works on beautification projects for D.C. public schools. Morris started volunteering for D.C. Black Pride in 2008 while still in college and last year joined the board. She helped plan entertainment for this yearā€™s event as one of the organizationā€™s eight board members (Black Pride details are atĀ dcblackpride.org).

Morris says Black Pride is important ā€œbecause it kind of celebrates two major communities that Iā€™m part of whose struggles are very different.ā€

ā€œBlack Pride is the time of the year when we can come together and talk about those issues that are original to us as a black queer community,ā€ she says. ā€œItā€™s important to do that for all people from my age on up to 99 and itā€™s important to have that space, which sometimes is hard to find.ā€

Morris has been dating her girlfriend Kayla Rodriguez for about nine months. Morris enjoys food, yoga, singing, dancing, teaching Sunday school, working for Black Pride, playing the guitar and rock climbing in her spare time. She lives in Alexandria.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out since I was 18. The hardest people to tell were my parents. Though I knew they were open and affirming of other LGBTQ persons, I wasn’t so sure that they’d be as thrilled for their first-born daughter. Luckily, they were and have been very supportive ever since.


Who’s your LGBT hero?

Every LGBTQ youth and student who has to stay quiet about their orientation for survival.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

I’m not big on nightspots, but you might catch me at MOVA or the Loft on a blue moon.

Describe your dream wedding.

My dream wedding, eh? To the woman I’ll be spending the rest of my life with, set for a date sometime during the end of August/beginning of September, small wedding ceremony (bridal party and immediate family members), huge reception (maybe a jazz band?), evening ceremony.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

The educational system and its effects on people of color.

What historical outcome would you change?

None. The stories of my people are stories of survival, of roses growing from concrete, of people overcoming against all odds. That’s something to be proud of, not change.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Being on campus at Howard University when Barack Obama was elected president for the first time.

On what do you insist?

Children and their laughter are a gift and the most beautiful and healing part of life.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

My last Tweet was “‘If someone hates me for my happiness, I ask God that he sends him happiness so that he forgets mine.’ ā€” Arab Proverb”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Fire”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Stay home.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

I believe in the universe and its powerful energies.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

This is hard. Be strong.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

The better question is who and that’s everyone I love.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That LGBT persons cannot be or are hardly ever in domestic violence situations.


What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

ā€œPariahā€ and ā€œImagine Me & Youā€

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Women being forced to smile because it makes others uncomfortable if they don’t.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

My first-place, citywide spelling bee trophy. I was in third grade and my winning word was “lieutenant.” There’s a picture of me in my hometown newspaper with pigtails and a snaggletoothed smile, clutching my trophy. Adorable, really.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

Exactly what I had known at that age. I didn’t need to know any more because I knew all of what I needed to know. I’m just grateful for the lessons I was taught.

Why Washington?

Washington is the perfect city for me. It’s far but not too far from home/Michigan and it’s not overwhelming like New York City but is big enough to have suburbs. It’s a cozy blend of suburbia and the city.

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Real Estate

Your holiday home journey

Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection

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Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection, stability, and legacy ā€” values closely tied to the spirit of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving and real estate share an essential theme: the importance of home. It is traditionally a time of gratitude, togetherness, and reflection. While its hallmark symbols may include turkey dinners, family gatherings, and autumnal dĆ©cor, it also invites us to think deeply about our values and who and what we hold dear. 

For some people, the family home connotes a place of safety, comfort, and community. For others, visiting with family over the holiday can be a contentious and stressful ordeal best avoided. Countless of my friends have severed toxic relationships that can rival an exploding, deep-fried turkey. They have opted instead for dining out or hosting a gathering of food and football with like-minded people.

During Thanksgiving, the idea of ā€œhomeā€ becomes particularly poignant. It is more than just a physical structure; itā€™s where people gather, memories are made, and traditions are passed down. For those involved in real estate ā€” whether as professionals or as individuals embroiled in the market ā€” this emotional dimension of home is a driving force.

When buying a house, itā€™s not just about square footage or the number of bedrooms. It’s about envisioning a Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room, imagining children playing in the backyard, or hosting friends in the cozy living space. Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection, stability, and legacy ā€” values closely tied to the spirit of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving falls in the quieter part of the real estate calendar, with spring and summer being the traditionally hot seasons for buying and selling. Yet, for those who choose to list their homes in November, the holiday offers unique opportunities. Sellers can use Thanksgivingā€™s warm, inviting atmosphere to their advantage, staging homes with seasonal touches like autumn wreaths, a cornucopia of fruits and nuts, the sparkle of a dining room chandelier, and the scent of freshly baked pies.

A well-decorated home during this time can evoke an emotional connection with potential buyers. A cozy environment can help them imagine spending their future holidays in that very space. Additionally, homes listed during the Thanksgiving season often face less competition, as fewer properties are on the market. This can lead to more serious offers from motivated buyers.

For buyers, Thanksgiving can function as a reminder of why they are on the hunt for a new home in the first place. Perhaps they are looking for a bigger space for a growing family. They may be downsizing to retire or to simplify life. They might be looking for home to accommodate both children and aging parents simultaneously. The holiday season underscores the importance of finding a home that aligns with lifestyle needs and future goals.

In our tight real estate market, buyers still face challenges such as limited inventory and higher interest rates; however, Thanksgiving encourages a shift in perspective. Itā€™s a time to focus on gratitude for what is within reach ā€” whether itā€™s finding a starter home, securing a dream property, or taking incremental steps toward long-term, financial goals.

Interestingly, Thanksgiving weekend has become an increasingly popular time for real estate research. Families can gather around the table and begin discussing the future, including moving to a new city, upgrading their home, or purchasing an investment property. Digital tools like web searches and virtual tours can help buyers and sellers stay connected to the real estate market without disrupting their Thanksgiving traditions.

Whether you are buying or selling, Thanksgiving offers an opportunity to reflect on the role of gratitude in real estate. For buyers, itā€™s about being thankful for the chance to find a home that meets their needs, even if the journey is challenging. For sellers, itā€™s a moment to appreciate the memories made in a home while looking forward to new opportunities. 

For real estate agents and other industry professionals, Thanksgiving is a time to express gratitude to clients and colleagues, build stronger relationships, and highlight the human aspect of a business often driven by transactions alone.

If you are staying put this Thanksgiving, you have a chance to celebrate your current home, no matter its size or condition. Simple gestures like decorating with fall colors, rearranging furniture for a cozy feel, or preparing a special meal can deepen your connection to your space. Inviting neighbors, friends, or family to share in the festivities can reinforce the sense of community that makes a house a home.

Whether itā€™s the home you currently have, the one youā€™re searching for, or the one you are leaving behind, each holds a unique place in your life story. Take stock of the journey so far, recognize the progress made, and look forward to the possibilities ahead.

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Digital Media

LGBTQ youth love TikTok. Does TikTok love them back?

Platformā€™s algorithm found to promote homophobia, violence

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A google search bar that says "is TikTok" with several suggested searchers: "... getting banned" "... shutting down" "... banned in us" "... getting taken down" "... going to be deleted" "... going to be banned" "... getting banned in America"

When Jocelyn was stuck inside during most of 2020, they did what any high school senior would do: scrolled through TikTok. They found themself on the hashtag #tiktokmademegay a lot. (To protect privacy,Ā the BladeĀ is opting to only use Jocelynā€™s first name).

ā€œAt the time, I didn’t give it a lot of thought,ā€ they say, acknowledging that most users viewed it as ā€œmore of a joke.ā€ 

Now a senior in college, where Jocelyn will graduate with a degree in Womenā€™s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies and Computer Science this spring, they have a more nuanced perspective. Nuanced enough to embark on a year-long independent thesis on the topic.

They still get that the hashtag is a joke, but probe into what lies behind it, noting a tension between the ā€œthe born-this-way narrative of sexuality essentialismā€ to the idea that ā€œsexuality is socially constructed.ā€ They also question the power this narrative gives to TikTok in its ability to surveil user data and identity. 

What got Jocelyn so interested in it in the first place was the fact it was a conservative talking point being replicated by the queer community. Because, what amounts to a joke or an intellectual query for some, is a point of anxiety and fear-mongering for others.

The conservative think tank known for writingĀ Project 2025, the Heritage Foundation wroteĀ ā€œHow Big Tech Turns Kids Transā€Ā arguing that ā€œDigital spaces are ever more designed to promote sexual and transgender content.ā€ This argument has incredible staying power and has been echoed by numerous far-right pundits likeĀ Oli LondonĀ andĀ Charlie Kirk.

It has also been referenced by lawmakers. Tennessee Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R) stated theĀ Kids Online Safety ActĀ (KOSA), bi-partisan legislation she co-sponsored restricting youth access to social media, was meant to “protect minor children from the transgender [sic] in our culture.”

TikTok has faced numerous challenges over the years. From Montanaā€™sĀ currently unsuccessfulĀ ban on use in its state to theĀ ā€œdivest-or-ban billā€Ā signed by President Joe Biden in April or theĀ lawsuitĀ brought by more than a dozen attorneys general in Octoberā€”it is clear there is a broad coalition of U.S. lawmakers concerned about the app.Ā 

These actsā€”which cite both national security and youth mental healthā€”come in conjunction with a larger movement to limit youth access to social mediaā€”locallynationally, and internationally.

Data security experts and some legislators state that the national security risk of the app is onlyĀ hypothetical due to the fact TikTok houses U.S. user data in the states. There are pressing concerns about the safety of user data, explains Shae Gardner, the policy director at LGBT Tech. Focusing those concerns entirely on one platform due to a hypothetical risk rather than the widespread, real risks across multiple platforms is disingenuous.

ā€œProponents [of this ban] have been saying that this is urgent and necessary to protect the data of Americans,ā€ says Gardner, ā€œBut we have been asking for years for nationwide data privacy protections, and watching the efforts die over and over again on the legislative vine.ā€

In fact, Gardner argues, ā€œRegulating one application is both legally dubious and will ultimately be ineffective in doing so.ā€ Gardner explains that though LGBT Tech is not involved in any legislation against the ban, which other tech policy groups are, they hold the shared belief that it is unconstitutional to target a single platform rather than the wider ecosystem.

The risk to youth mental health, which has also been cited as a major concern, is more complicated. Best sellers like theĀ highly critiquedĀ ā€œThe Anxious Generationā€ argue that all youth mental illness is linked to social media. The data doesnā€™t back this up,Ā argueĀ numerous experts.

Amid the panic,Ā LGBTQ advocatesĀ have passionately argued that queer youthā€™s access to technology is uniquely beneficial due to a lack of education and community in the physical world. The Trevor Project identified TikTok as the platform whereĀ LGBTQ youthĀ felt most ā€œsafe and understood.ā€Ā 

Data largely backs this up. A systematic review from 2022 found that ā€œsocial media may support the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ youths through peer connection, identity management, and social support.ā€ The review noted that more research is needed, noting that their results may be limited by weak evidence due to factors like small sample sizes. 

Celia B. Fisher, the Marie Ward Doty University Chair in Ethics at Fordham University, was able to gather a larger sample by conducting a national survey of more than 500 on Instagram. With that reach, explains Fisher, ā€œyou’re more likely to get a fuller view of what’s going on nationally.ā€

ā€œThere’s an anonymity with national surveys,ā€ adds Fisher, ā€œ[It] brings different people to answer questions that they may not want to talk about to somebody in person.ā€

In March 2024, she published the peer-reviewed article ā€œSocial media: A double-edged sword for LGBTQ+ youthā€ in the Journal ā€œComputers in Human Behavior.ā€ Many results agreed with the larger narrative of online spaces as refuges and community-building spaces. ā€œIt’s a wonderful place when they can find the appropriate sites,ā€ says Fisher.

Jocelyn, the student researcher, echoes this. ā€œMany of the videos I have come across discuss how the comfortability of the queer spaces on TikTok was part of the reason they felt comfortable enough to come out and explore their sexuality.ā€

When youth drift into non-welcoming territory, the story is different.

Fisherā€™s research finds that more than 80% of youth are exposed to discrimination either directly or vicariously (watching others being discriminated against) in the last month. Fisher wrote, ā€œbetween 40% and 63% of all youth met the criteria for moderate levels of depression, anxiety, and substance use disorder (SUD).ā€ Youth who described high exposure to discrimination had higher levels of depression, anxiety, and SUD.

The hate does not simply come from the run-of-the-mill bully finding a classmate online. ā€œAlgorithms expose them to these things,ā€ says Fisher.

ā€œIf an algorithm sees that you’re interested in RuPaulā€¦ Then it begins its work on figuring out other sites that may be attached to similar interests. But as it moves on, it begins to add the heterosexist and transphobic types of posts.ā€

The fact that the algorithms that govern our tech can be sexist, racist, and homophobic is old news and highly studied, but it continues to have compounding impacts. Media Matters for America found in 2021 that TikTokā€™s algorithm specifically promotes homophobia and anti-trans violence.

Jocelyn also worries about handing over the power of identification and community to an algorithm. In addition to the #tiktokmademegay, other users promote the idea that ā€œTikTok knows things about themself before they know it.ā€ This rhetoric is ā€œscaryā€ says Jocelyn, because ā€œhanding over the keys of self-identification to an algorithm that we have no idea how it works is not something that feels right.ā€

Gardner echoes the complex views on the state of social media. Outside of her day job as a policy maven, Gardner is a TikToker under the handle @shaeitaintsoo, where she shares educational content about LGBTQ issues. 

ā€œThese spaces also allow for a lot of queer joy and a lot of authenticity in a way that makes me proud to be a part of this community,ā€ she says. At the same time, backlash is part of the job. The success of TikTokā€™s moderation has ebbed and flowed during her four years as a public figure on the app.  

Gardner emphasizes that ā€œhatred and harassment do not live in algorithms.ā€ The discrimination faced online is replicated bigotry from offline spaces. Social media can amplify and distribute the bigotry in new ways. ā€œIt is the responsibility of the platforms to be making significant efforts to ensure that the replication is not then also multiplied and made ten times worse.ā€

Gardner sees the backlash as a ā€œtale as old as timeā€ that has been replicated without much evidence onto emerging technology. ā€œI’m not saying that tale is not rooted in some element of truth. But this, this didn’t start with TikTok, I would push back against language that seems to think it will end with TikTok.ā€ 

In the meantime, Gardner implores those worried to not lose sight of the most important concerns. 

ā€œIf your concern is that [kids and teens] are spending too much time in online spaces. What are you doing to create safe, physical ones for them?ā€ Gardner asks. 

(This story is part of the Digital Equity Local Voices Fellowship Lab through News is Out. The lab initiative is made possible with support from Comcast NBCUniversal.)

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Autos

Fun holiday gifts for car fans

A trunkful of ideas for the gay gearheads in your life

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Dodge Igloo Kool Tunes Cooler

Mixing beats with brews, Dodge offers a combined cooler and boombox ($296), with two built-in speakers, LED status indicator, charging port and Bluetooth pairing. You can rock your tunes for up to 10 hours on a single charge. Capacity: 26 (12-ounce) cans. 

Lexus Flask and Tumblers

Add some spiritā€”or spiritsā€”to the holidays with a Lexus High Camp Parkside Flask ($140). The stainless steel, vacuum-insulated container has a chic cypress-green finish and can hold the temperature of a full bottle of wine for up to 24 hours. Two tasteful tumblersā€”inspired by classic stemless wine glassesā€”fit on the top and bottom of the flask. 

Ferrari Baby Romper Outfit

For swaddling any newborns in the family, thereā€™s a festive Ferrari romper ($150). This outrĆ© outfitā€”made of 100% cottonā€”has the automakerā€™s famous Prancing Horse emblem on the front and comes with matching baby bib. Expect plenty of pitstops ahead!

Ferrari Plush Pump Shoes

For more prancing, though this time as an adult, Ferrari has a pair of patent-leather pump shoes ($1,291). Available in black, red, or cream, these preening pumps are designed with a square toe, red lining and natty-looking red pull at the heel. Made in Italy, naturalmente! 

How to up your sartorial game even more? Spirit of Ecstasy cufflinks ($900) from Rolls-Royce are crafted in 925 sterling silver, with choice of either a rhodium-plated or dark-ruthenium finish. And pricing is a bargain, considering the average MSRP of a brand-new Rolls today is $500,000. 

Kia Flashlight and Electric Lighter

For outdoor adventures, Kia has a waterproof, rechargeable LED flashlight with built-in electric lighter ($38). The compact flashlight is less than four inches long and come in three modes: full power, half power orā€”for all of us disco queensā€”pulsing strobe. And the tail of the flashlight opens up into a windproof lighter. Lanyard and micro-USB cord included. 

Cadillac Cabana Towel

Some automakers see everything in black and white ā€” literally. The Cadillac cabana towel ($37), with retro-groovy yarn-dyed stripes, is made of 100% microfiber polyester and measures 60×72 inches.

Cadillac Crew Socks

Cadillac also has a pair of sporty, fully knitted black-and-white crew socks ($59). Bonus: the classy cardboard presentation box. 

Ford Warriors in Pink Mug

The Warriors in Pink Mug ($20) from Ford is part of the automakerā€™s longtime initiative to help fight breast cancer. Both the Susan G. Komen and Pink Fund each receive 5% of the purchase price of the mug, as well as any other Warriors in Pink merchandise.

Maserati Aero Pen

Need some motivation to start writing holiday cards? Maserati has the Pininfarina Aero pen ($140), with a futuristic design that evokes the infinity symbol. Made of aerospace aluminum, this super cool pen comes with an attractive base in unrefined concrete, along with a customized box. 

Dodge Dodgeball

Let off some steam and release your inner Ben Stiller or Vince Vaughn with this aptly named Dodge ball ($17). Made of performance rubber and measuring 8.5-inches wide, this red dodgeball comes with the automakerā€™s logo emblazoned in white. 

Bentley Napkin Rings

Ringing in the New Year just got a lot more la-di-da with a pair of Bentley napkin rings ($97). The diamond-shaped knurling pattern echoes the elegant design on the grillwork, console and upholstery of glam Bentleys. The automakerā€™s emblem is laser-engraved on the underside of the napkin rings. Available in nickel-plated metal or gold-plated zinc alloy.

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