December 18, 2013 at 5:00 pm EST | by Valerie Blake
The holiday menace
Christmas, gay news, Washington Blade

While most Washingtonians are preparing for Christmas, many real estate agents are still busy with work. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Most agents will tell you that the weeks between Thanksgiving and mid-January are some of the slowest in the real estate business, as people begin to focus less on housing and more on family and spiritual pursuits during the holiday season.

While that may be true in general, the transient nature of the D.C. metropolitan area and its continued low inventory of homes keep things humming along here more than in many parts of the country.

With interest rates creeping upward and new mortgage lending rules that could make qualifying for a loan more difficult in 2014, some buyers have stepped up their timetable.

And while many real estate agents are indeed baking cookies, scheduling family visits, planning trips to warmer climates or just sitting back and sipping eggnog, others are still hard at work.

It is with that thought that I wanted to share my recent experience with you.

’Twas the week before Christmas and here in D.C., I hadn’t found time yet to put up a tree or finish my shopping, or send out a greeting to clients by email, by text, or by tweeting. Instead of enjoying a long winter’s snooze, I had agents, attorneys and lenders to schmooze.

I sat at my desk as I tried to remember just when I last had such a busy December. I scheduled inspections and settlement dates while my Schnauzers slept soundly all snug in their crates. Their little legs moved as in dreams they gave chase to critters that ran at a frenetic pace.

I proofread a contract and then just for sport, reviewed the results of a termite report. I made a few phone calls and couldn’t resist checking off several things from my long “to do” list.

It seemed for a moment I might get a break for my beverage of choice and a Porterhouse steak when out on the street there arose such a clatter I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash with my doggies in tow like a hundred-yard dash. I parted the draperies and peered through the glass expecting to see what had caused the loud crash.

And what to my wondering eyes did appear but a red-suited man with six-pack of beer and a UPS driver all dressed up in brown whose eyebrows were narrowing into a frown. His truck, it was dented, his uniform, tattered, his packages strewn on the ground were all shattered.

The red-suited man was surveying the scene surrounded by reindeer and elves dressed in green. He bowed to the driver and said with chagrin, “What an awkward position we find ourselves in.”

Well, the driver, in no mood to be so polite, shook his fist and replied with his eyes shining bright, “Don’t try to pretend this is my fault! Enough! Now you tell me, just who’s going to pay for this stuff?”

But the red-suited gentleman seemed not to hear as he belched and he hiccupped and opened a beer. He raised up the can and he took a long draught while I watched from the window and had a good laugh.

Then much to my horror, he looked up and froze as the UPS guy punched him square in the nose. The force of the blow made him sit with a plop and he stayed on the ground ’til the dizziness stopped.

Then slowly he rose from his sitting position, assessing with care his most current condition.  “Hey, Rudolph,” he called, “I am still quite alive, but I think I should sleep in the back while you drive.”

From the rear of his transport he pulled out a sack filled with money to pay Mr. UPS back.  Then I heard him exclaim as he boarded the sleigh so he could get sober and be on his way, “This drinking and flying is really a bummer. Next year I’ll deliver my gifts in a Hummer.”

Have a safe and happy holiday season!

Valerie M. Blake is with Keller Williams Capital Properties. Reach her at 202-246-8602 or Each Keller Williams Realty office is independently owned and operated. Equal Housing Opportunity.

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