Arts & Entertainment
Sharing the love
Two couples find unexpected interest in their YouTube adventures
R.J. Aguiar, left, and Will Shepherd, a gay vlogging couple. (Photo courtesy Shepherd)
In a world of stereotypes, two couples want to show gay relationships are normal by putting their own on YouTube for the world to see.
Will Shepherd, 24, and R.J. Aguiar, 25, have been daily vlogging their relationship on their YouTube channel “shep689” since January 2012. It started as a month-long experiment to video every day of their lives together. Since then, their channel has expanded to more than 100,000 subscribers and almost two years worth of daily videos.
“Daily vlogging happened by accident,” Aguiar says. “We decided to try it for a month and thought it would fail completely, but instead it took off. We tried it for another month and it took off even more than the first.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY2_Q097Yis
Shepherd started the channel as a hobby to respond to funny videos his friend posted. It grew into posting self-help advice and book reviews and eventually included “day in the life” videos after he met Aguiar. Occasionally the two would record themselves on vacation and at the request of subscribers, they decided to try vlogging every day. From there, the channel’s focus became Shepherd and Aguiar’s everyday lives together.
“I wanted to portray gay life as it should be,” Shepherd says. “We wanted to show that there are very little differences between the daily life of a heterosexual couple and a homosexual couple.”
Shepherd, who works in advertising, and Aguiar, who works in marketing, have documented large parts of their lives like their move from their home state of Florida to Los Angeles and getting a dog. They’ve also recorded little moments such as going to Chipotle, being stuck in traffic and getting locked out of the house. Their channel led to the launch of their website, notadamandsteve.com, a mix of everything from advice and reviews to recipes and personal stories.
Kaelyn Petras, 25, and Lucy Sutcliffe, 21, started their YouTube channel “Kaelyn and Lucy” to stay connected in their long-distance relationship, which began online. Sutcliffe had been following Petras’s Taylor Swift Tumblr and saw that Petras posted she was ready to come out to her family.
Lucy Sutcliffe, left, and Kaelyn Petras vlogged their long-distance relationship. (Photo courtesy Sutcliffe)
“I’d spent the springtime obsessively watching all six seasons of ‘The L Word’ and had sort of just begun accepting myself as a gay woman,” Sutcliffe says. “So I decided to send Kaelyn a quick email, just letting her know that she wasn’t alone and that I was here if she ever wanted to talk. A few hours later she responded and we just haven’t stopped talking.”
Sutcliffe, who resides in England, had planned a road trip in the United States and decided to fly to visit Petras, who was in veterinary school in Saint Kitts (an island in the West Indies), at the end of her trip. Sutcliffe, a student filmmaker, filmed the trip and uploaded it to YouTube, mainly as a memento for the couple. Instead, it gained unexpected popularity.
“A few months passed and then literally overnight the video had gained several thousand views,” Sutcliffe says. “People had started commenting, ‘This video saved my life,’ ‘You girls have showed me that I don’t have to be ashamed of my sexuality,’ and ‘Our daughter has just come out to us and we didn’t know how to react. We’ve just stumbled upon your video and you’ve showed us that our daughter needs nothing from us but support and acceptance.’”
Now, their channel has reached more than 100,000 subscribers. They record videos of their visits together both in England and the United States and have expanded into separate vlog posts of their lives when they’re apart. They film themselves watching television shows on their laptops and going to get sushi while also filming the emotional turmoil they face when they have to leave each other. They’re the sort of situations any couple can relate to.
“The main goal of the channel is to normalize lesbian/gay relationships and that it’s OK to embrace who you are and be proud of it,” Sutcliffe says.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZUYJvCySik
Exposing your life to thousands of people does have its downside. Shepherd and Sutcliffe, who edit their videos, both are careful not to reveal too much personal information. However, Shepherd says some viewers have been able to piece together where he and Aguiar live and have spread the information on the Internet. Sutcliffe admits that it can also be difficult for people to comment and question her and Petras’ relationship.
Yet both couples plan to continue sharing their lives on YouTube.
Shepherd and Aguiar recently got engaged; both of their proposal videos to each other are on their channel. They expect to continue vlogging at least until their wedding set for 2015. They want to let subscribers share in that day as well with plans to have it professionally filmed or vlogged by friends.
“Since we embarked on this as an experiment, it’s kind of difficult to know how it’s going to end,” Aguiar says. “It has to be organic the same way that it started.”
Petras and Sutcliffe plan to move in together this summer. They still want to continue making videos even though they recognize their videos will change as their long distance situation changes. They hope to continue to show a gay relationship is like any other relationship.
“Nothing we do or say is scripted or fake. It’s just us being our normal, sometimes boring, selves,” Sutcliffe says. “We love having people countdown with us, cheer us on when we’re together and cry with us when we leave. It sounds cheesy, but it’s like having loads and loads of supportive friends, really.”
Helping young people struggling with coming out who are searching for solace on YouTube is something Shepard and Aguiar hope they can ultimately accomplish.
“When I was coming out,” Shepherd says, “I thought I had to change who I was and be a magical quip machine or a ‘Queer as Folk’-type gay. The point of our videos is to show that you don’t have to change who you are.”
Books
‘Dogs of Venice’ looks at love lost and rediscovered
A solo holiday trip to Italy takes unexpected turn
‘The Dogs of Venice’
By Steven Crowley
c.2025, G.P. Putnam & Sons
$20/65 pages
One person.
Two, 12, 20, you can still feel alone in a crowded room if it’s a place you don’t want to be. People say, though, that that’s no way to do the holidays; you’re supposed to Make Merry, even when your heart’s not in it. You’re supposed to feel happy, no matter what – even when, as in “The Dogs of Venice” by Steven Rowley, the Christmas tinsel seems tarnished.
Right up until the plane door closed, Paul held hope that Darren would decide to come on the vacation they’d planned for and saved for, for months.
Alas, Darren was a no-show, which was not really a surprise. Three weeks before the departure, he’d announced that their marriage wasn’t working for him anymore, and that he wanted a divorce. Paul had said he was going on the vacation anyhow. Why waste a perfectly good flight, or an already-booked B&B? He was going to Venice.
Darren just rolled his eyes.
Was that a metaphor for their entire marriage? Darren had always accused Paul of wanting too much. He indicated now that he felt stifled. Still, Darren’s unhappiness hit Paul broadside and so there was Paul, alone in a romantic Italian city, fighting with an espresso machine in a loft owned by someone who looked like a frozen-food spokeswoman.
He couldn’t speak or understand Italian very well. He didn’t know his way around, and he got lost often. But he felt anchored by a dog.
The dog – he liked to call it his dog – was a random stray, like so many others wandering around Venice unleashed, but this dog’s confidence and insouciant manner inspired Paul. If a dog could be like that, well, why couldn’t he?
He knew he wasn’t unlovable but solo holidays stunk and he hated his situation. Maybe the dog had a lesson to teach him: could you live a wonderful life without someone to watch out for, pet, and care for you?
Pick up “The Dogs of Venice,” and you might think to yourself that it won’t take long to read. At under 100 pages, you’d be right – which just gives you time to turn around and read it again. Because you’ll want to.
In the same way that you poke your tongue at a sore tooth, author Steven Rowley makes you want to remember what it’s like to be the victim of a dead romance. You can do it here safely because you simply know that Paul is too nice for it to last too long. No spoilers, though, except to say that this novel is about love – gone, resurrected, misdirected – and it unfolds in exactly the way you hope it will. All in a neat evening’s worth of reading. Perfect.
One thing to note: the Christmas setting is incidental and could just as well be any season, which means that this book is timely, no matter when you want it. So grab “The Dogs of Venice,” enjoy it twice with your book group, with your love, or read it alone.
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a&e features
Local, last-minute holiday gift ideas
Celebrate the season while supporting area businesses
The DowntownDC Holiday Market is bustling. Union Station is decked out with its annual Christmas tree. Washingtonians have wrapped their houses and apartment balconies with festive lights and holiday decorations. The holiday season is here. And with stockings to fill and empty space under the tree, Washington’s local shops and artists have plenty to offer.
Show your LGBTQ and D.C. pride with the Washington Blade’s annual holiday gift guide.
To embrace the holiday buzz: The Blanco Nwèl cocktail from Alchy Cocktails. This Caribbean eggnog is one of Alchy Cocktail’s seasonal holiday cocktails. The flavor profile is similar to coquito, a traditional Puerto Rican Christmas drink with a coconut base. As a queer and Caribbean-owned business, Alchy Cocktails has been based out of Washington since 2021. Blanco Nwèl is available in both cocktail ($24) and mocktail ($12) online and at a variety of holiday markets, including the Tingey Plaza Holiday Market, the Flea Market at Eastern Market, Union Station’s Main Hall Holiday Market, and more. ($24)
A spicy bite: Gordy’s Cajun Okra from Salt and Sundry. These spicy, tangy pickles pull on Southern Cajun-style flavors, packing a punch with paprika, cayenne, and more. Gordy’s is an LGBTQ-owned and Washington-based brand, making this gift an opportunity to support a local LGBTQ business straight from the jar. This pantry staple is available on Salt & Sundry’s website and at its locations in Union Market, Logan Circle, and its Georgetown holiday pop-up store. ($14)
To celebrate Washington pride: The DC Landmark Tote Bag from The Neighborgoods. Native Washingtonians, visitors, friends and family alike will find something to love about this Washington-themed tote bag. Food trucks, the 9:30 Club, the Metro logo and pandas from the National Zoo are just some of the city’s landmarks depicted across the tote in a red, white, and blue color palette. The tote is a part of the DC Landmarks collection, which donates 10 percent of its sales to the American Civil Liberties Union. The Neighborgoods itself is a local, woman-owned business built out of a passion for screen-printing in 2013. The 100 percent cotton canvas tote is for sale online or at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($22)
To give friends and family their flowers: The Flowers Bandana from All Very Goods. This 100 percent cotton bandana was designed in Washington and hand printed in India. Its uniqueness comes in being covered with the faces of Black women, representing a “love letter to all women but especially Black women,” according to All Very Goods. The Black woman-owned and operated business, based out of Northwest Washington, has a mission to celebrate diversity and representation through its products. The bandana intends to give Black women their “flowers.” The Flowers bandana is available for purchase online. ($24)
To unlock culinary creativity: The Curious Chef Gift Collection from Each Peach Market. This customizable collection of kitchen oddities — ranging from tinned fish to chili oil — is a quirky gift for the most inventive chefs. The collection is available in a Standard Santa, Extra Goodies and Super Holiday Size for up to $165. The Washington-based market, founded in 2013, permits customers to make the collection special by specifying what unique ingredients are packaged, including products made by local or LGBTQ brands. Each Peach Market offers assembly and pick up in-person at its Mount Pleasant shop and also offers local delivery and nationwide shipping via its website. ($85)
To give a touch of sweetness: The DC Landmark Chocolate Covered Oreo Holiday Cookies from Capital Candy Jar. Wrapped in a festive red bow, this box of nine cookies embraces love for Washington and the holiday season in one. Among the dark and milk chocolate covered cookies are images of the U.S. Capitol, the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial and festive hollies. The treat, packaged in a Hill East facility just a few blocks from the Capitol, is available for purchase online and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($23.95)
To celebrate queer gaming: Thirsty Sword Lesbians from Labyrinth Games & Puzzles. This roleplaying game embraces lesbian culture by unlocking a world of swords, romance, and battle. Ideal for group settings, the book presents a system of world building and character identities that are best brought to life by creative minds. Labyrinth, which has been a local Washington business for more than 15 years, celebrates non-digital fun through games and puzzles that connect the community. This gift is offered online and at Labyrinth’s Capitol Hill location. ($29.99)
To make a bold statement: The “Resist” T-shirt from Propper Topper. This locally screen-printed black tee features the Washington flag designed within a raised fist, symbolizing both Washington pride, and political resistance. The shirt is made exclusively by Propper Topper, a local Washington business that evolved from a hat shop to a gift store since opening in 1990. The tri-blend unisex shirt is available both for pickup at Propper Topper’s Cathedral Heights location and shipping via the online site. ($32)
To keep it c(g)lassy: The Glass Ball earrings from Blue Moon Aquarius. Gifting can rarely go wrong when it comes to a new pair of earrings. The unique statement earrings — made of polymer clay, glass, and 18k gold plating over surgical steel — are hand cut, sanded and assembled in Washington, meaning each set is unique. Blue Moon Aquarius, a local brand, is known for its small batch jewelry and home decor designed with clay materials. Available in oxblood, hunter green, lavender, and bluestone color palettes, these earrings are available for purchase on Blue Moon Aquarius’ website and at the DowntownDC Holiday Market. ($48)
To elevate a holiday tea or charcuterie party: The Honey Flight: Tea Lover’s Selection from BannerBee. This local honey company presents the ideal gift to make cozying up with a cup of tea slightly more special. The Honey Flight contains three types of raw wildflower honey infused with fair trade Ugandan vanilla bean, chai spices, and locally sourced lemon thyme herb. The gift is also an opportunity to uplift a family company based in the Mid-Atlantic that offers all-natural, sustainable products. The flight is available online, at the DowntownDC Holiday Market or at the Arlington Courthouse and Dupont Farmers’ Markets. ($36)
For Baltimore shoppers: If you’re in Charm City, don’t miss Balston Mercantile, opened by a gay couple in June. Their gorgeous shop in the Hampden neighborhood offers an array of unique, upscale finds, from barware and artwork to cookbooks and home decor and more. (849 W. 36th St.)
Impulse Group DC held “10’s Across the Board: A Celebration of 10 Years” at Bravo Bravo (1001 Connecticut Ave., N.W.) on Sunday, Dec. 14. Impulse Group DC is a volunteer-led 501(c)(3) and affinity group of AIDS Healthcare Foundation dedicated “to engaging, supporting, and connecting gay men” through culturally relevant health and advocacy work.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
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