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Today we celebrate, tomorrow back to work

Marriage is but one rung on the ladder to equality

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marriage equality, Supreme Court, gay news, Washington Blade
marriage equality, Supreme Court, gay news, Washington Blade

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Today we can pop the cork on the Champagne, but make sure you don’t drink it all. The Supreme Court gave us a total win for marriage equality in Obergefell vs. Hodges, but we must remember it is only one of the many fights still to be won.

Today, we should honor the many people who have fought long and hard for this day, and the celebrations will last long into the wee hours of the morning. The Supreme Court in a 5-4 decision has said that our marriages are legal and protected by the Constitution. We could send bottles of Champagne to Justices Breyer, Sotomayor, Kagan, Ginsburg and maybe two to Kennedy.

As one of the founders of the Campaign for All D.C. Families and its first president, the group that coordinated the fight for marriage equality in the District of Columbia, I am grateful this day has finally arrived. Since we won the right to marry in D.C., many of my friends have taken advantage of that right and now live in wedded bliss, or so they tell me. Seriously, many now have children and are living out a version of the American dream.

For me, the fight for marriage equality was never personal in the sense of still being blissfully single with no desire to marry. But it was a fight that needed to be fought because of the meaning it has for so many today, and for future generations. A young man or young woman growing up today will know that being gay or lesbian won’t stop them from looking forward to the same loving relationship, with marriage and family, that all their straight friends could always have. They will have role models to look up to, and know that a life shared with the person they love, sanctioned by law, is possible.

The book should now be written about all the people who made this possible. Thus far, we have only recognized a few of them, and there are so many who worked tirelessly behind the scenes and didn’t see their names in headlines. They need to be thanked, and their stories need to be told, from the first fights in Hawaii, to victory in Massachusetts to the court decision today.

But our fight for civil and human rights for the LGBT community goes on. Marriage equality is only one rung in the ladder to victory. Bigger battles are yet to be fought and won. We cannot accept that you can marry today, and in 37 states, lose your job or be denied a place to live tomorrow. And even when we win those fights, there will still be the work to change the hearts and minds of those who still believe we are different and not deserving of love and decency.

In 1974, Bella S. Abzug (D-N.Y.) introduced a comprehensive civil rights bill in the Congress for the LGBT community that went nowhere. Unfortunately, the new bill being considered for introduction today may have the same reception. What we have learned from the history of the civil rights movement and the women’s movement is that even changing the law is only step one in the battle for acceptance. That was brought home to us again in the act of hate and terrorism perpetrated in a Charleston church last week. We keep wanting to believe that things will change with a new generation, but the perpetrator of that heinous crime was a young man of 21.

We do know people aren’t born with hate in their hearts. Hate, racism, sexism and homophobia are traits that are taught. They are passed on from one generation to new generations from ignorant and often scared people. People who want to blame their own insecurities and shortcomings on someone else. Changing that dynamic will take a long time, but we can never give up that fight.

The LGBT community has made legal gains with a speed that was unimaginable just 10 years ago. We will continue to make those gains if we are steadfast in our efforts, and are joined by our allies who are so important to us. We have seen in Indiana the strength of the business community when they step up to support us.ā€Ø So let us take the time to pop a few corks today in celebration of a big victory. Then tomorrow, we will begin the next fight, and we need to be ready to take that on together.

 

Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBT and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

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Survivors of sex crimes are unsung heroes

Taking trauma and turning it to their advantage

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Jake Stewart is a D.C.-based writer and barback.

(Editorā€™s note: This is the second of a two-part story. Click here to read the first installment.)

Last month, I started watching ā€œThe X-files.ā€ 

For the most part I loved the show, with Agents Scully and Mulder as the primary reasons why. Yet what I found most frustrating was watching their investigations. As early as episode one, set in a small town of scared people guarded by scary men, Agent Scully proposed coincidences while Agent Mulder proposed aliens. Despite the episode having ā€œcultā€ written all over it, both agents seemed none the wiser. 

Recently, I learned the FBI has an open process for writers and other creatives to learn how the agency works. I also discovered the FBI has a history of monitoring writers. In fact, the FBI is about as image-conscious as your typical D.C. gay, making me wonder how the ā€œX-Filesā€ moved forward with little pushback. Thatā€™s about as interesting as UFOs being discovered in New Mexico as we tested the atomic bomb. 

But if youā€™re reading this, you likely want me to shut up about the ā€œX-Filesā€ and get back to my story. When I left off, my friend had disappeared and my work cleared me of any wrongdoing. That said, I was mysteriously fired in September 2022ā€”nearly a year after the initial incidentā€”and just six weeks after my boss learned that I wrote books. 

The process of my firing was strange, to say the least. First and foremost, I was never given a reason. To this day it remains a mystery. My now-former employerā€”a high-profile lobbying firmā€”then bullied me into signing an NDA to access my severance. 

By the way, I negotiated up. While I donā€™t know what I did, I had a feeling I had that power. I was right. 

Just prior to the firing, they asked me to bring in my laptop so they could download my files. This rang an alarm for me, primarily because they never gave me a laptop. So, they wanted me to bring in my personal laptop. As a writer with original materials, I reasonably asked what constituted a work file. I never received an answer. 

Coincidentally, I met my ex-boyfriend exactly one week before I got fired. He is the same ex-boyfriend from my religion piece, in which I mentioned he fell into hard times. Specifically, I was referring to concerning signs I spotted last April, primarily on the gay apps, and with memories of the last boy still fresh on my mind, I refused to let another slip from my grasp. 

So, what did I do? I dove headfirst into hell in a messy attempt to rescue him. After playing this new game of cat-and-mouse in which I was said mouse, allow me to share what I learned: Over the course of several months, I spotted sketchy characters at my exā€™s placeā€”characters I suspected dealt hard drugs, which was highly out of character for him. Moreover, I found online accounts promoting extremely suspect pornography and, yes, pimping services on X (formerly Twitter), some of which looked a lot like my ex. While I didnā€™t know what exactly was happening, I knew something was off, but when I confronted my ex, he denied it. 

Being the stubborn asshole that I am, I decided to check these sketchy characters out for myself. It turns out I was spot on about their sketchiness. I learned they not only drug unsuspecting young men in a coordinated manner, but once drugged they sexually violate them andā€”if drugged enoughā€”begin recording videos. Itā€™s all made to look random yet safe; for example, there always seems to be a nurse in the group who is ā€œexperiencedā€ in administering needles. 

Once I had proof these people were unsafe, I took further action for my ex. In mid-November, I reached out to someone in his personal life, which was a tough decision since he was closeted. I was strategic and chose someone who knew he was bisexual, and after connecting with her on Instagram, spoke on the phone with her the next morning. Upon hearing my concerns, she agreed based on her own observations. 

Apparently, she spotted signs of him being physically harmed over the summer. She and I spoke for hours on end about the situation and how we could help him. Then, just a week later, I lost contact with her and my ex. I havenā€™t heard from either since. 

I eventually grew concerned enough to contact the police and the FBI. In the meantime, particularly following my trauma article, sex workers approached me to share their storiesā€”primarily stories of rape and abuse alongside a power structure rooted in it. As for those who try to oppose this system? Theyā€™re often written off as mentally ill. 

I donā€™t know about you, but I refuse to live in a world where young queers are shepherded into this system. Thatā€™s the opposite of what I envision for the queer community. 

Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend arrived in January, along with more sex workers. Once again, some approached me to share their storiesā€”about their aspirations, about their art, about their perspectives on the world. And once again, about the system of abuse designed against them from the start. I heard stories of young boys raped by their fathers, or friends of their fathers, or about the drugs used to coerce them into sexual activity. Sadly, just like a UFO witness, they are usually written off and never taken seriously, especially if they have a record of drug abuse or mental illness. Seems to be a pattern, doesnā€™t it? 

That said, these men are not solely victims. If anything, they took their trauma and turned it to their advantage. Iā€™d like to take this moment to thank them. Theyā€™re unsung heroesā€”each and every oneā€”in a nation that often shames them. 

Yet as proud as I am of these sex workers, my heart was equally broken. These stories were painful to hear, to say the least. I quickly grew paranoid of people around me, even friends at times. There were other times I sat alone in my apartment, bawling over the men I had lost, along with the pain others had experienced. This only strengthened my resolve to end it.Ā 

To top this all off, my final discovery came just two months ago. Turns out thereā€™s an X account publicly teasing me about this entire affair. The account even references this column and, according to the receipts, started well before I noticed concerning signs about my ex in the first place.  

Hello there, dear X account. It appears youā€™ve been observing me. Consider this my proverbial tapping back on the glass. 

Wowā€”there seems to be a lot of time, energy, and effort spent on little ole me. Why is that, I wonder? Iā€™ve mentioned before Iā€™m just a measly little barback who has been fired twice. Although looking back, those firings were strange too, werenā€™t they? 

Is it the abuse I uncovered? Is it the details of my loverā€™s past? Is it something I wrote? Is it a combination of the three? And is it possible that the little dark cloud thatā€™s been following me in D.C. is more intentional than I once thought? 

I may never learn the truth on my own, but I can pose another question: whatā€™s the only thing scarier than UFOs? To me thereā€™s just one answer: that UFOs were never real in the first place. Occasionally, answers to unsettling mysteries simply unearth more unsettling mysteries. 

I mentioned before in this column that I arrived to D.C. naĆÆve about the world, perhaps just as naĆÆve as Agents Scully and Mulder. Yet in my naivetĆ© I tripped on something: the rot hiding beneath the surface of our nationā€™s capital. No, it isnā€™t coincidence. It isnā€™t aliens, either. But whatever it is, I alone cannot identify it. 

Throughout my time uncovering this story, Iā€™ve come across friends, acquaintances, and even relatives who suffered abuse, along with threats or shaming to keep them quiet. They come from all races, creeds, backgrounds, and orientations, and as it turns out, some of the infrastructure of power in D.C. and in towns across this nation are built around it. While Iā€™m ready to tear it down, this isnā€™t just my story. I might be the one starting it, but itā€™s not on me to finish. 

The most I can do is hand the pen over to the victims. Iā€™ve shared my part. Now itā€™s their turn. As for the audience: I hope youā€™re now ready to start believing.  


Jake Stewart is a D.C.-based writer and barback.

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Elon Muskā€™s mistakes

A capable businessman compromised by transphobia

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Elon Musk (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

In two previous articles for the Blade, I enumerated how Elon Musk is a rampant transphobe and a danger to society. My position on Musk, since then, is nuanced. In one of these articles, I mildly applauded his brilliance, as I will enumerate now that he was able to create a payment company (PayPal), a car company (Tesla), and a rocket company (SpaceX), all with extreme success. Musk, in this regard, is a Renaissance man of sorts, able to use his Wharton accolades and other courses in physics, math, and coding to his will, and revamping companies to earn billions of dollars in profits. Nowadays, itā€™s a common brag among best friends to own a ā€œTessieā€ – slang for a Tesla – and to ride around for fun. ā€œTessiesā€ have seeped into popular culture. And on the streets of LA, from the suburbs of D.C., to the outskirts and roads of Manhattan, Teslas are a common phenomenon, and are skyrocketing in sales. And PayPal, to Muskā€™s credit, is also still a platform that millions use regularly to send money to friends or other businesses. Meanwhile, SpaceX is preparing for the future, creating an infrastructure for space exploration. 

Musk is undeniably successful. Yet two things should counter his fame and cause serious alarm. As I have spoken about in the past, Muskā€™s relationship with his transgender daughter is nonexistent, as Vivian Wilson, the daughter, states that he was an absent parent who harassed her as a child. Muskā€™s transphobia has been on full display: he banned the word ā€œcisgenderā€ from X.com, which led many LGBTQ rights groups away from the platform. I was no stranger to this word ban: a conservative journalist covering my stories had to use c*isgender in asterisks to avoid having her post deleted. Word bans were and are common symptoms of fascist regimes. Hitler and the Nazis infamously banned words and books from the public realm, and Musk is doing the same thing. 

The second cause for alarm in Muskā€™s rise to power is his heading of DOGE, the Department of Government Efficiency. At first, hiring Musk as the leader of DOGE seemed like a good idea, even with someone who harbors transphobic complaints about him. As the richest man in the world, and as a man who has led multiple companies with billions of dollars in revenue, it would seem that a private sector tycoon like Musk would have the merits to lead DOGE.

Yet almost immediately, such merits came into question. In early February of 2025, Musk essentially axed USAID, the State Departmentā€™s aid wing, an organization tasked with giving funds to needy countries and doing other life-saving work like vaccine promotion. The axing of USAID spoke right away to Muskā€™s sheer ignorance of USAID and the good it has done for decades across the world. In effect, he created, almost overnight, a dystopia in American international aid development. Without USAID, the United States canā€™t fund foreign countries to engage in beneficial mutual partnerships with us. 

The axing of USAID from U.S. foreign policy will surely not be the only toxic decision that Musk makes. Down the line, and even already, we can expect a significant reduction, or just outright banning, of DEI initiatives. DEI initiatives are important for marginalized communities to have a voice and funding through government. For instance, studies that analyze the wellbeing of LGBTQ youth would presumably be axed. More studies analyzing racial discrimination in the workplace could be axed as well. 

Overall, Musk shows a demonstrated brilliance in almost every endeavor he touches, with the exception of DOGE and Trump-related decisions. And the rampant transphobia that he has shown toward his child has painted his character in murky colors. 


Isaac AmendĀ is a writer based in the D.C. area. He is a transgender man and was featured in National Geographicā€™s ā€œGender Revolutionā€ documentary. He serves on the board of the LGBT Democrats of Virginia. Contact him atĀ [email protected]Ā or on Instagram atĀ @literatipapi.Ā 

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Trump is a carnival barker masquerading as president

Throwing the world into chaos by cozying up to Putin

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President Donald Trump speaks at a joint session of Congress on March 4. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Trump is a carnival barker, who masquerades as a president. He is a racist, felon, found liable for sexual assault, and in many ways a danger to the LGBTQ community. What he is not, is a credible president. He is a grifter and a liar. He sees himself as an entertainer, which accounts for his speech to Congress. He thinks nothing of lying and using props, even a brave young cancer survivor, to get applause, and feed his ego. 

The real danger of his second term in office is he is surrounded with some people worse than himself, but with more brains. The first is hard to be, the second is easy. His best friend and co-president, is a Nazi sympathizer, the richest man in the world. Contrary to Trump, who has declared bankruptcy multiple times in his businesses, Musk has made a real fortune. There are those who claim he has paid to be Trumpā€™s co-president. First helping fund the campaign, others even suggesting he has promised Trump billions after he is out of office. I donā€™t know that to be true, but clearly not beyond belief. While Trump sees himself as a king, Musk sees himself as an emperor, controlling the world. Trump has allowed him unlimited access to the Oval Office, from which to carry out his goals. Trumpā€™s attitude to people here, and around the world, suffering because of him, is that they be damned.

Now we know Trump and Musk, have bought off, or scared off, any opposition from Republican senators and congresspersons. They have gotten them all on their knees. The only hope for our democracy is the courts. We will see if they hold, and actually perform their constitutional role, as the third arm of our government. Will they stand up to the two despots in the White House? Will they be willing to take the glare, and threats to their lives, from MAGA supporters, and do the right thing? The right thing is not what I want, but what the constitution of our country calls for. 

People are being fired willy-nilly, without any thought to the repercussions. We know this as they have fired people, and been forced to rehire them when they realized what they did. From the NationalĀ NuclearĀ Security Administration, which oversees the nation’s arsenal ofĀ nuclearĀ weapons, to those trying to deal with bird flu at the CDC. They have in a short time thrown the world into chaos, by moving away from all our allies and cozying up to Putin, a dictator, who seems to be holding something over Trumpā€™s head. Musk is posting on X and whispering in Trumpā€™s ear to leave NATO, and populate Mars. A megalomaniac with thoughts of being the next Hitler, and taking over the world using Donald Trump as his stooge.Ā 

Musk has eclipsed the vice president, who then tried to reclaim his role by embarrassing the United States at the meeting with Ukraineā€™s President Zelenskyy. Vance made the president look weak. Then when Trump spoke to Congress, thanking Musk, all Vance could do was sit behind the president with a stupid grin on his face, jump up to applaud every few minutes, at the spectacle taking place in front of him. If he wasnā€™t so venal I would have actually felt sorry for him. 

Last week was the ninth anniversary of Nancy Reaganā€™s death. It reminded me she was the one who ran the country, while hiding her husbandā€™s dementia from the people. Even with all that, in some ways I longed for those days. A time I could disagree with just about every Republican policy, but could sit and talk to Republicans and have a rational conversation. In those days I could, and did, actually meet the leadership of the Log Cabin Republicans for lunch, and not end up feeling dirty like I would with some of those leading them today. 

It may sound funny to say, but I yearn for a two-party system where we can debate issues with intelligent people. I know how bad Reagan was, and that he caused the death of thousands by not being willing to deal with HIV/AIDS. But then there were Democrats like Ed Koch, mayor of New York City, who did the same. I hope we can get back to a day when we can really debate policy, everyone telling the truth to voters, and not have a Republican Party that believes lying, and fighting culture wars, is the way to go. 


Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

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