Connect with us

Living

To buy or not when you’re single

First home can turn into wise long-term investment

Published

on

renting, buying, gay news, Washington Blade

(Blade stock file photo)

Over the years, we’ve had many clients who wanted to buy a house when single. They were well qualified, but they couldn’t pull the trigger. Sometimes, it was with good reason — an unstable job or likely transfer out of the area, or simply deciding that in order to buy, they might have to sacrifice their ideal location and lifestyle to make it work. These are logical and common reasons that some of our clients decide they would rather rent for a little while longer as they iron out the details of their lives.

But all too often, the fear of ownership is something else entirely. They worry about how a purchase might affect their relationship prospects. Some fear that they might seem too intimidating on dates if they owned their own home. They might seem too independent or too tied down if it is someone out of the area. Others worry if they meet the person and decide to marry or move in, they will then have to quickly unload the property.

While all concerns when you are making a big financial purchase or life change are valid, it’s important to remember that buying a home doesn’t define or limit you. It simply adds to your investment portfolio — not to mention gives you a bigger tax break come April 15.

For those of you who are worried about buying a home while you are single, you’re not alone. Buying a home is a big decision and one that should be considered carefully. Our advice is to make sure you’re being honest about why you may or may not make decisions about buying. Buying a home is a large financial investment, one that pays off greatly over time for most people. It gives them a head start on their real estate investment portfolio and often, the money they make on their first home pays for the down payment of their move-up home. Time and time again, we have had clients that prove it makes great financial and personal sense to buy. If you’re qualified to purchase a home and are planning to live in the area for the next couple of years, it almost always makes financial sense to buy.

In our office, we like to say nothing looks sexier on a person than real estate – and it’s true.

So many of our clients have found “the one” soon after purchasing their home. In fact, in my first condo building, five of the single residents who purchased homes in the newly completed 13 unit building were engaged or married within two years of purchasing their first condo. Some moved out and sold their unit, some rented it out, while in others the significant other moved in.

We have one client who purchased a townhouse in her 20s and rented the extra room to a roommate to pay down some of the mortgage. In a few years, she was making more money and was able to live in the house by herself. Shortly after, she met her future spouse and he moved in, contributing again to her mortgage. Later, they decided to buy a property together and keep her original home as an investment property. Other clients have sold their property and used the proceeds to purchase a new home with their new significant other. There are so many options.

Of course, I can’t guarantee that you’ll meet “the one” in the elevator of your new condo building like a Hollywood romantic comedy. But, you will have a new sense of self worth and accomplishment to go along with a fantastic new financial investment in your portfolio. And, of course, you can decorate and customize your new home however you want now that you are no longer renting. Win, win!

Allison Goodhart DuShuttle is lead agent for the Goodhart Group, Alexandria’s and McEnearney Associates’ top-producing real estate team. In 2015, she was nationally recognized by Realtor Magazine, being named to its “30 Under 30” club. Reach her at 703-362-3221 or [email protected]

Advertisement
FUND LGBTQ JOURNALISM
SIGN UP FOR E-BLAST

Real Estate

Surprising parallels between dating and house hunting

Both require patience, effort, and a clear idea of what you want

Published

on

Valentine’s Day is often associated with romance, but it can also be the perfect time to invest in real estate.

Valentine’s Day is often associated with romance, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. However, for eligible singles, this holiday can be about more than just relationships—it can also be the perfect time to invest in real estate. 

Anyone who has been in the dating scene long knows that finding “the one” can be challenging. Whether you’re searching for love or the perfect home, there are surprising parallels between dating and house hunting. Both require patience, time, effort, and a clear idea of what you want.

Just like dating, home buying requires a well-thought-out list of must-haves and deal-breakers. Understanding your needs will help you find the perfect match, whether in love or real estate.

Are you looking for a cozy condo in the city, or do you prefer a suburban single-family home with a yard? Perhaps a renovated kitchen will spur you into cooking up the perfect recipe for love. 

Do you want a fixer-upper to mold into your own vision? (Note: Molding to your idea of perfection works better with houses than with potential life mates.) What about being a landlord with a rental unit that can help with mortgage payments? Or, if you prefer, keep it empty to house your beloved on the days you argue.

Does your taste run toward the bearded, Paul Bunyan look of a cabin in the woods surrounded by bears? Is the sleek, sophisticated high-rise more your style? And what about the Dad-bod style of a ’70s split level in the suburbs?

When dating, first impressions can be powerful, and so can the first look at a home. Curb appeal and initial feelings about a property are just as important as charm and chemistry in a relationship, but flaws may not be immediately noticeable.

Buying a home, like committing to a partner, is a long-term investment. Both require financial and emotional readiness. No one is perfect, and neither is any home. While you should aim for a place (or person) that meets most of your needs, be prepared to compromise.

Working with experts helps. Whether you’re seeking relationship advice from Patty Stanger or guidance from your favorite real estate agent or mortgage lender, professionals can make the process smoother and more successful.

Many people don’t realize that Valentine’s Day and the mid-winter in general can be an advantageous time to shop for real estate. Since many couples are preoccupied with romantic plans or skiing vacations, there are often fewer buyers in the market around this time. Less competition for buyers and higher motivation of sellers could give singles an edge in negotiations. You may find better prices or flexible terms.

Consider the value of financial and personal independence. Instead of waiting to be swept off your feet by Prince Charming, singles can take control of their future by investing in property independently and finding Home Charming instead. 

If you’re ready to take the plunge, here are some key steps to ensure you find the right home:

  • Work with a Real Estate Agent – Interview agents. Ask friends for recommendations. Find someone you like and trust. An experienced agent can help you navigate the market, negotiate offers, and find a home that matches your needs.
  • Get Pre-Approved for a Mortgage – Knowing how much home you can afford is crucial. Talk to a lender and secure a pre-approval before you start your search.
  • Narrow Down Your Location – Choose an area that fits your wallet and your lifestyle. Drive around. Get to know the area at night and on weekends. Check out nearby public transit and parking options. Try out your commute. Locate shopping areas, dining establishments, and other services you use regularly.
  • Consider Future Needs – You may be single now but think about the future. If you plan to start a family or need a yard for a pet, factor that into your home-buying decision.
  • Don’t Rush the Process – Just like finding the right partner, finding the right home takes time. Be patient and don’t settle for something that doesn’t feel right. It’s better to take your time than to end up with buyer’s remorse or, in the case of a rushed romantic decision, divorce.

So, instead of focusing on flowers that wilt and chocolates that don’t last this Valentine’s Day, why not fall in love with a home? Diving into the real estate market is a smart, long-term decision that offers stability, financial security, and a place you can truly call your own, making it one of the best gifts you can give yourself and the start of an exciting new chapter in your life. 

You never know who you’ll meet at an open house.


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

Continue Reading

Advice

Navigating these uncertain times

You have no power over others, but you have a lot of power over yourself

Published

on

This Valentine’s Day brings a lot of extra stress; here are some principles to help you cope. (Photo by digitalista/Bigstock)

For Valentine’s Day, I was planning to write a column about shifts we can make in our attitudes and behaviors to strengthen our love relationships and deepen our connection with our partners.

Then, over the past few weeks, as I’ve been listening to many of my clients express their concerns about the state of our country and our world, I realized that much of what is required to have a great relationship can also help us get through the difficult times we live in.

So here are some principles that I hope will help you to navigate both the challenges of being in a close relationship and the challenges of uncertain times. 

These principles overlap because they are all components of an approach to living that focuses on developing and maintaining agency over your life, and working to strengthen your resilience. The more solid you are, the better you can get through the hard stuff.

Strive to behave with integrity, in a way that you respect. You are likely to feel a lot better about yourself if you do what you believe is right, rather than betraying your values out of fear or to please others. The playwright Lillian Hellman, pressed to appear before the House Committee on Un-American Activities in 1952 and “name names,” said it well: “I cannot and will not cut my conscience to suit this year’s fashions.” (Of course, only you can decide how to balance possible consequences with the importance of honoring your principles.)

Stand up for what you believe in. Being quiet out of fear or concern for what others will think leaves us feeling like helpless victims. And you cannot have an intimate relationship when you don’t let your partner know important parts of who you are. 

Strive to be non-reactive. Do your best to not let others (or circumstances) press your buttons so that you lash out, rather than responding thoughtfully and with deliberation, based on your values.

Strive to always soothe your anxiety. The philosopher Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” When someone or something is starting to make us crazy, the best first move we can make is to quiet ourselves. Doing so allows us to think how to best respond.

There’s a great saying from Twelve Step programs: “If you want to have self-esteem, behave in esteemable ways.” You are more likely to do so when you first calm yourself, rather than exploding with anxiety or rage.

Strive to tolerate discomfort: Sometimes we can’t do much about what is making us uncomfortable or causing us distress. Our partner may not change in ways we would like; our job situation may be rough; we may face hostility in the outside world. Identifying how we can deal with challenges and difficult circumstances in a way that helps us become stronger and more resilient can often help us to weather them a bit more easily. 

Strive to tolerate uncertainty: There really are no guarantees about anything important in life. That’s the way it goes. We can’t know how things will turn out —neither our relationships nor our lives nor the fate of humanity. So if we are to construct a meaningful life, we have no choice other than to keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing our best to respond thoughtfully and to have an impact when and where we can, without knowing the outcome.

Strive to stay anchored in reality, not lost in feelings.  When we let our feelings run the show, it’s easy to get spun up and reactive. While our feelings are a source of information, they are not reality. All sorts of things—our pasts, the distortions of social media, what people around us are doing and saying—can contribute to how we feel about a situation. 

Yes, it’s always a good idea to be aware of our feelings. But before acting on them, calm yourself, get some clarity about why you may be feeling what you’re feeling, and think about how reality lines up (or doesn’t line up) with what you’re feeling. In other words, aim to keep the big picture in mind.

Remember that you cannot change others, but you may at times be able to influence them. For example, when I first became vegetarian, I wanted to push my friends to adopt a vegetarian diet by “enlightening” them about the misery of factory farms and the environmental cost of raising animals for food. I soon realized that lectures and judgment are not a great way to change minds. Serving delicious vegetarian food for a dinner is more helpful. So think about how you can reach out to someone or to others with different views, in a way that they are more likely to hear you. 

Obviously, there are limits to this approach. There may be times when you aren’t going to be heard, no matter how you say what you have to say.  The point at which we shift from reaching out to someone to taking a “don’t tread on me” stance can be tricky to discern, and the decision to make that shift should be taken thoughtfully and with appreciation of possible consequences.

Keep your focus mainly on what you can do about a situation. Focus less on what the other person is doing wrong, or not doing. While you have little or no power over others, you have a lot of power over yourself.  Thinking about what you can do to effect at least some of the change you would like, in your relationship or your community or our world, is an antidote to feeling powerless.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)

Continue Reading

Real Estate

Loving where you rent in D.C.

Creating a home you can adore in the nation’s capital

Published

on

D.C. offers a vibrant lifestyle, but it can pose challenges for renters. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

As Valentine’s Day approaches, our thoughts often turn to love. While we may think of candlelit dinners or romantic gestures, love extends beyond relationships—it’s about the spaces we inhabit and how we nurture our connection to them. Loving where you live can have a profound impact on your well-being, and for renters in Washington, D.C., transforming an apartment into a cherished home is not only possible, but also can feel essential.

Washington, D.C., offers a vibrant lifestyle, but it can also pose challenges for renters. High costs, stressful work environments, limited space, and the very nature of urban living might make it harder to settle in. However, with some thoughtful adjustments, you can turn your rental into a space you love. Let’s explore how to create a home that’s a sanctuary, not just a stopover.

Personalize Your Space

One of the first steps to loving where you live is making it feel uniquely yours. Although renting may come with restrictions, there are plenty of ways to customize your apartment:

  • Add Color: Use removable wallpaper or peel-and-stick decals to introduce vibrant or calming hues. Area rugs are another excellent way to bring warmth and character to any room.
  • Display Your Story: Showcase meaningful art, family photos, or souvenirs from your travels. Gallery walls can make even a small space feel personal.
  • Lighting Matters: Replace harsh overhead lighting with floor or table lamps to create a cozy ambiance. Use LED bulbs to save energy and customize brightness levels.

Embrace Multifunctional Furniture

City living can impose limited square footage and multifunctional furniture is your best friend. Look for pieces that serve dual purposes:

  • A storage ottoman can double as seating.
  • Fold-out tables save space while offering dining or work surfaces when you need them.
  • A quality sofa bed is perfect for accommodating guests 

Incorporate Plants and Greenery

Bringing nature indoors can instantly uplift your mood and enhance your living space:

  • Low-Maintenance Options: Snake plants, pothos, and succulents thrive with minimal care.
  • Vertical Gardens: If floor space is limited, consider wall-mounted planters.
  • Window Sills: Herbs like basil or mint not only look and smell good, they are useful for cooking.

Create Comfortable Zones

Think about how you use your apartment and design dedicated areas:

  • Work Corner: With remote work becoming increasingly common, invest in a comfortable chair, desk, and good lighting.
  • Relaxation Spot: A corner with a plush chair, blanket, and books can be your go-to for unwinding.
  • Entertaining Area: Even small spaces can shine with the right setup for hosting, such as a stylish bar cart or foldable chairs.

Maintain and Refresh Regularly

A clutter-free and clean apartment naturally feels more inviting:

  • De-clutter quarterly, donating or discarding items you no longer use.
  • Use storage systems to stash things away you do not need regularly 
  • Add seasonal touches like new cushions or throws to keep your space feeling fresh.
  • Invest in quality cleaning tools to make upkeep easier.

Discovering the Loveable Side of D.C.

Beyond your apartment, Washington, D.C., is a city rich in experiences that make life here unique. Embracing the D.C. lifestyle can deepen your connection to where you live. Here are a few affordable and distinctly D.C. activities to enjoy this Valentine’s Day month:

Loving Life in D.C.

1. Explore Hidden Gems:

  • The United States Botanical Garden: Even though it is the middle of winter, the Conservatory on the grounds of the U.S. Capitol is a wonderful place to get out of the cold.  And a bonus – it is the time of year when orchids are in bloom. Enjoy a touch of a tropical environment right in downtown DC.
  • Kennedy Center’s Millennium Stage: Enjoy free performances showcasing local and international talent. Every day, usually at 6 p.m., you can see artists from around the world in the central hall at the Kennedy Center. And all you have to do is get there in time! Check out the entire program here:  https://www.kennedy-center.org/whats-on/millennium-stage 

2. Taste D.C.’s Diverse Cuisine:

  • Sample global flavors at Union Market. https://unionmarketdc.com 
  • Grab a half-smoke from Ben’s Chili Bowl, a true local original, on U Street, H Street, and other locations citywide.

3. Embrace the Outdoors:

  • Walk or bike the Mount Vernon Trail along the Potomac River; the Capitol Crescent Trail on the west side, and the newer trail, the Metropolitan Branch Trail that runs from Union Station to Silver Spring.
  • Visit Malcolm X Park (also known as Meridian Hill Park) for its cascading fountains, lively drum circles, snow ball fights, and more!  

4. Dive Into History:

  • Tour the lesser-known exhibits at the Smithsonian Anacostia Community Museum, the National Museums of Asian or African Art, and the incredible Renwick Gallery of American Art opposite the White House.
  • Explore the Frederick Douglass National Historic Site for a deeper understanding of D.C.’s role in history.  https://www.nps.gov/frdo/index.htm 

5. Enjoy Affordable Culture:

  • Attend pay-what-you-can nights at local theaters like Studio Theatre, Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company, or Theatre J located in the Jewish Community Center at 16th Street and Q Streets, NW.
  • Take advantage of free museum access year-round, from the National Gallery of Art to the Hirshhorn Museum.

Building a Life You Love

Loving where you live isn’t just about the walls that surround you—it’s about the life you create within them. By personalizing your apartment and immersing yourself in the unique experiences D.C. offers, you’ll better foster a personal sense of belonging and joy. This Valentine’s Day, remember to nurture not only your relationships, but also your relationship with your home and your city. After all, love begins at home.


Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager of Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, go to ColumbiaPM.com

Continue Reading
Advertisement
Advertisement

Sign Up for Weekly E-Blast

Follow Us @washblade

Advertisement

Popular