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‘We were looking for something beautiful’

War brought gay ‘Out of Iraq’ couple together

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Nayyef Hrebid and Btoo Allami (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Nayyef Hrebid was a translator for the U.S. Marines in the Iraqi city of Ramadi in 2004 when he first saw Btoo Allami, who was a sergeant in the Iraqi army.

The two men spoke for the first time a few months later when they were on a joint mission to clear Ramadi of terrorists. Hrebid and Allami spent the next week together and they had their first kiss late one night in a garden that was surrounded by a makeshift fence made with sandbags.

“We were looking for something beautiful during a time that was very difficult for us,” Hrebid told the Washington Blade on April 28 during an interview at the Human Rights Campaign’s Time to THRIVE conference that took place at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel in Woodley Park. “We didn’t know if we were going to die or not so we were looking for something beautiful.”

“He’s something beautiful that happened to me,” he added.

Allami agreed, telling the Blade that he saw Hrebid first.

“It was just a really beautiful time,” said Allami.

Fellow Iraqi translator beat Hrebid because he is gay

“Out of Iraq,” which premiered last June at the LA Film Festival, documents Hrebid and Allami’s relationship.

“Out of Iraq” is on Logo and has been nominated for a GLAAD Media Award. The documentary won a Daytime Emmy Award a few hours after Hrebid and Allami spoke with the Blade.

The two men spent two years in Ramadi until they were both transferred to Diwaniyah, a city in southern Iraq, in 2007. Hrebid told the Blade “people in the military started knowing about our relationship.”

“A lot of people started talking,” he said.

Hrebid told the Blade that a fellow Iraqi translator who was his “best friend” broke his arm after he beat him because he is gay. He said the U.S. major to whom he reported the incident threatened him.

“‘If you say anything, I’ll throw you outside the camp, which is between the terrorists so they’d kill me,'” said the major, according to Hrebid.

“So I kept it inside me and I was crying because I knew there’s no justice,” he added.

Gay Iraqis targeted by militias, ISIS

Gay men could not serve openly in the U.S. military until “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was repealed in 2010.

Members of the Mahdi Army, a Shiite militia that prominent cleric Muqtada al-Sadr runs, in 2007 killed gay men who recorded themselves belly dancing at a birthday party. Hrebid told the Blade militia members killed more than 200 people in Baghdad in a single week “just because they are gay.”

“That’s by smashing their head with a big block in the middle of the street,” he said.

Allami was born into a poor Shiite family in Baghdad.

Al-Sadr last summer banned his followers from committing violence against LGBT people. Violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity nevertheless remains commonplace in Iraq, with Hrebid telling the Blade his friend’s parents killed him in front of their home after they found out he was gay.

“Everyone can judge you on the street,” he said. “It’s not easy to be gay in the Middle East, especially in Iraq.”

“A lot, a lot,” added Allami.

The so-called Islamic State has publicly executed dozens of men in portions of Iraq and Syria that it controls or once controlled.

UNHCR denies Allami refugee status application

Hrebid moved to Seattle in 2009 after he received asylum because he worked as a translator with the U.S. military.

“I came in 2009 and I saw the life here and how it’s different, but I was feeling so bad because he was left behind,” said Hrebid. “I promised to bring him here.”

Hrebid told the Blade that Allami’s family found out about their relationship when they heard them talking on the phone or on Skype.

“His life was getting more in danger,” Hrebid told the Blade as Allami listened. “He had to run away.”

Michael Failla, a Seattle-based immigration advocate who Hrebid befriended at a party, gave Allami money to travel to Lebanon on a 30 day tourist visa. Allami deserted the Iraqi army and flew to Beirut on Dec. 6, 2010.

Allami in early 2011 applied for refugee status with the U.N. Refugee Agency. Lebanese authorities would have sent him back to Iraq if they found him living in the country without documentation, but he said the UNHCR employee who interviewed him said the agency cared “more about families” than those who are gay.

“The first time the guy told me, ‘We don’t care about gay refugees,'” Allami told the Blade.

Hrebid in January 2013 saw Allami for the first time in more than three years when he and Failla traveled to Beirut.

Allami soon had a second UNHCR interview that lasted 11 hours. The agency deemed him ineligible for resettlement because a UNHCR employee with whom he previously met incorrectly reported that he witnessed U.S. soldiers torture Iraqi prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison outside of Baghdad.

“We had never been there,” Hrebid told the Blade, noting Allami learned about the torture through a newscast.

It took six years ‘for us to be together’

Allami had begun the process of applying for asylum in Canada as he waited for UNHCR’s decision. A group of Canadians sponsored him and the government approved his application in 2013.

Allami arrived in Vancouver on Sept. 9, 2013.

“That was the happiest day ever in my life,” Hrebid told the Blade. “I finally felt he was safe and he had papers and he could stand up and walk without anyone bothering him.”

Hrebid became a U.S. citizen in 2014, which is the same year in which same-sex couples received marriage rights in Washington State.

Nayyef Hrebid and Btoo Allami speak to the Washington Blade in D.C. on April 28, 2017. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

He and Allami married in Canada on Valentine’s Day in 2014. Allami applied for a visa that would allow him to live in the U.S.

It was granted in March 2015 after Allami had an interview in Montreal. He and Hrebid men married for a second time at Cailla’s Seattle home in August of that year.

“It took us basically six years for us to be together,” said Hrebid.

Families ‘freaked out’ after Ellen DeGeneres show appearance

Hrebid and Allami in January appeared on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” after Ellen DeGeneres read an interview the couple had done with the BBC.

Hrebid told the Blade their families in Iraq “freaked out” after show aired and news about their appearance spread throughout social media.

Hrebid said his uncle told him to return to Iraq so members of his tribe could kill him and “cut the shame.” He told the Blade that Allami’s family has disowned him.

“No one can mention his name in the family anymore,” said Hrebid.

Trump policies ‘going to put’ lives in danger

President Trump on Jan. 27 signed an executive order that banned citizens of Iraq and six other predominantly Muslim countries from entering the U.S. for 90 days. A revised travel ban that Trump signed in March did not include Iraq.

The second executive order has yet to take effect because it has been challenged in court.

“It’s going to put a lot of lives in danger,” Hrebid told the Blade. “He (Trump) thinks people just come through, walk in to the United States. Btoo is one example. It took four years just for vetting and a background check.”

Hrebid and Allami have begun to help other refugees resettle — at first in the U.S., but now Canada because of the Trump administration’s immigration policies.

“We could just shut our door and just live our lives without anyone knowing, but this is not why we are here,” said Hrebid. “We are here to let people know about what is happening in the Middle East and what is happening to those who are LGBTQ.”

Allami agreed, noting Seattle is “my home now” and it is “amazing.”

“We made our dreams come true,” he told the Blade.

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The queer Asian comics building collective joy in D.C.

Spotlighting chaotic ways family, romance, identity take shape in their lives

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Alex Kim performs at the Pride Comedy Special in Washington, D.C., on June 18, 2026. (Photo by Christina Lee/VOICES)

Kevin Chen’s family tombstone has room for four: him, his parents and his boyfriend. The arrangement might prove to be a little awkward. 

“My boyfriend is 100% white, and my parents are 100% disappointed,” Chen confessed.

Jokes about family traditions and the untraditional ways they’re practiced earned a burst of laughs at the bar where Chen was opening for the Pride Comedy Special. The D.C. stand-up event, produced by Comedy Bonfyre last month, spotlighted queer Asian comics who shared the chaotic ways family, romance and identity take shape in their lives. 

From candid oral sex takes to top surgery hypotheticals like “Where do the boobs go?”, the night highlighted the loud camaraderie of the queer Asian experience — one that sounds like a cacophony of snorts, cackles and belly laughs. While the comics say they are not quite a community, there’s more than enough shared material to bring them together. 

“It was such a magical experience. I loved performing in a queer API lineup. It feels so validating,” Chen said after the show. “I’m wondering, ‘Is this how white men feel all the time?’”

Each performance evoked queer Asian joy through a medium that could use more of its presence.

According to Chen, who is based in D.C., it’s hard to say whether there is a true queer Asian comedy presence in his city. There are only a scattered “handful” of Asian comics, and people of color are underrepresented in queer comic circles, he said. 

When Tarunika Anand, a nonbinary lesbian comic, first entered the mainstream D.C. comedy scene, they mostly encountered straight white men, describing the experience as “a culture shock.”

“I feel like sometimes a lot of queer spaces are really white, and then a lot of Asian spaces are really straight,” Anand said. “I don’t feel like I fit into either.”

But feeling marginalized didn’t stop these comics from honing their craft and creating spaces for others like them. Alex Kim, who headlined the special and is based in Brooklyn, runs the queer Asian comedy group Boba Gays, which began on WhatsApp and has since made its way to Lincoln Center. 

Every Wednesday, Anand co-produces a free comedy show called Funny Side Up. The queer-led group focuses on inclusivity and showcasing new talent.

“It’s really beautiful to speak about your experience and your existence in a way that’s uplifting,” Anand said. 

Family is a major throughline of their comedic repertoires. 

Chen, for instance, shared that he identifies with jokes about having Asian immigrant parents and the expectations they pass down. 

“You see me, you know this part about me, you know this experience intimately, and I can see the truth that you’re trying to wrap a joke around,” he said. “That hits even harder because that’s my truth too. I think that’s what makes good comedy.”

Anand had the audience at the special howling when they explained that their parents’ be-more-like-them comparisons didn’t end when they came out. Instead, the expectations took on a new form. 

“Now, my parents want me to be the best gay,” Anand said. “They’re like, ‘Do you know Ellen DeGeneres?’” 

Kim said he’s been trying to unlearn things from his Christian Korean mom. Yet he described a moment when he was getting ready for the club and realized he looked just like his mother getting ready for church. 

“I’ve been finding it hard to escape her,” Kim said. 

Mutual recognition also radiates through the different ways queer love can take shape. From singlehood to death-do-us-part commitments, the comics cover just about every corner.

Anand is holding out hope for settling down with “a nice, pretty, Indian girl.” They recently went through a breakup and said they felt they dodged a bullet. 

“As a person of color, I just don’t think I should be with a Swiftie,” they said. 

Chen, touching on what it’s like to be in a queer interracial relationship, said that meeting his white boyfriend’s baby nephew for the first time felt like he was forced to participate in a diversity, equity and inclusion training. 

“The dad was like, ‘Please welcome Kevin. Be curious about his culture, his history, his foods,’” Chen joked. 

Laughter is not the only reward for the comics.

To Anand, comedy is a space where they can say whatever they want. “It gives me a voice,” they said. 

Nik Narain, a North Carolina-based trans and nonbinary South Asian comic who performed at the special, said meeting older trans comedians and taking the stage helped him feel reassured in his identity during his transition. 

“Stand-up was a really cool way to process that onstage,” he said. “[It] became a way for me to repackage my thoughts.”

Queer Asians are still figuring out their place in the greater D.C. comedy scene. The group is small in numbers and many are still working toward a full-time comedy career. But Narain feels he’s already made it.

Narain is reluctant to pin it all on one moment. He feels that success is already peeking through in milestones — opening for celebrities, traveling to performances and self-producing shows.

“As long as I can keep doing this, I’m super happy,” he said.

This story was produced as part of the AAJA VOICES fellowship program, a student journalism project of the Asian American Journalists Association (AAJA).

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Mr. Henry’s celebrates 60 years of proud inclusivity

Capitol Hill staple remains ‘a caring community’

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Mr. Henry’s has long been popular with D.C.’s LGBTQ community. (Photo by Liz Stewart)

America’s 250th isn’t the only milestone birthday D.C. is celebrating this year. 

Beloved D.C. restaurant Mr. Henry’s, that Capitol Hill staple, celebrates its Diamond Jubilee all year long. Named for its original owner Henry Yaffe, the restaurant opened on a warm day 60 years ago in the summer of 1966 and has never looked back.

Yaffe took over what was then a country western restaurant, renovated the interior to his liking, and created an institution. Yet Yaffe had another goal. As a gay man, “he created Mr. Henry’s to be a place where everyone felt welcome — not easy in 1966 — and he succeeded,” says current owner Mary Quillian.

Mary Quillian is the current owner of Mr. Henry’s. (Photo by Liz Stewart)

“Mr. Henry’s has long been a place the LGBTQ community has supported because they felt and still feel welcomed,” says Quillian. Even in the current administration, “the gay community and the diversity-minded community continue to come.”

Since then, Mr. Henry’s has changed hands, opened and closed its second floor, welcomed famed musical acts, and played host to politicians, date nights, breakups, and birthdays. But it still feels like home (and has a note in the National Trust for Historic Preservation) at 601 Pennsylvania Ave., S.E.

Its wood-paneled, Victorian-inspired art-filled décor in the downstairs dining room and bar serves American pub fare for lunch and dinner daily, with brunch on weekends (and a dog-friendly patio). Upstairs, Mr. Henry’s hosts live jazz performances and special events most nights, continuing a musical tradition that has defined the venue for decades. That upstairs bar has played host to names like Roberta Flack and Woody Allen.

Musician Kevin Cordt said that, “Mr. Henry’s has been a part of my life for more than 30 years. I started as a customer, then became a bartender and server, and now I have the good fortune to play trumpet at one of the best live music venues in Washington, D.C.”

Aaron Myers, executive director of the D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities, is also a supporter. “Not many cities can sport venues that have consistently served the community in the space of culture for more than 50 years, let alone can brag as the birthplace of culture defining talent.”

From the start, Yaffe promoted a rare yet celebrated combination of locals’ bar and soulful nightlife venue. Mr. Henry’s has attracted a diverse crowd at a time when such spaces were – and perhaps still are – uncommon, a diversity that is credited with helping protect the pub during the 1968 D.C. riots.

Longtime customer Evelyn Branic said, “Mr. Henry’s has been my ‘Cheers’ hangout since my wife and I moved to the Hill in 1987. I’ve experienced many iconic moments meeting politicians, reporters, civic activists, and neighbors engaging in spirited conversations. Whether political, LGBTQ, historians, neighbors, or out-of-towners, everyone could find a special place to be greeted as a friend.”

Its welcoming tables come dabbed with a bit of tea: In 1971, in a moment that has since become part of Capitol Hill lore, Yaffe lost the pub in a poker game to Larry Quillian. The Quillian family, recognizing the special role Mr. Henry’s played in the neighborhood, took over ownership, and committed to preserving its spirit. Today, Larry’s daughter Mary owns the bar, having given it a bit of a facelift for the bar’s 50th birthday, bringing in new tables and some fresh menu items.

For example, the menu has some of those dishes that regulars would riot if they disappeared. The Reuben and the hamburgers, the chili and in-house roasted turkey have never departed the menu. Dishes do evolve, says Quillen: they added wings about two decades ago.

In 2026, the restaurant is hosting monthly ticketed “decades” parties, celebrating each of the 10-year periods the restaurant’s been open, plus there were specials in June for Pride. The official 60th anniversary gala takes place Aug. 29, featuring performers, beverages, timeless favorite foods, swag – and the unveiling of a new cocktail.

Inclusive, eccentric, eclectic, Mr. Henry’s is looking forward to maintaining its centrality to diverse crowds in Capitol Hill. Battling inflation, rising menu prices, changing tastes, and thin margins, Quillian says that Mr. Henry’s has — and will always be — “a caring community for so many different folks. And THAT is why I am committed to keeping us going. Society needs places like Mr. Henry’s, now more than ever.”

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Television loses a legend, longtime ‘Will & Grace’ director James Burrows

Iconic hitmaker leaves behind a legacy of telling LGBTQ stories

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James Burrows (Photo by kathclick/Bigstock)

You don’t have to be a pretentious film major to name 10 movie directors. But naming television directors is not that simple. They’re the unsung heroes of your favorite shows, and the late James Burrows was the television director. He passed on June 19, but his DNA runs through television history. 

He directed over 1200 episodes of television and over 50 pilots. He co-created “Cheers” and directed many episodes of long-running series like “Friends,” “Taxi,” “Frasier,” “The Big Bang Theory,” and “Two and a Half Men.” You also may remember him from playing a heightened version of himself on the Lisa Kudrow comedy “The Comeback.”  

He has left an indelible mark on the LGBTQ community. As recently as last year, he directed the series run of “Mid-Century Modern” starring Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, and Linda Lavin. He was also a longtime director of “Will & Grace” and directed every episode of the series revival. He even directed the unaired “Absolutely Fabulous” pilot with Kathryn Hahn, Kristen Johnston, and Zosia Mamet. 

Not to mention he’s worked with queer icons throughout history, including Betty White and Stockard Channing on their single-season series, and Jennifer Coolidge in “2 Broke Girls.” 

He started his career on shows like “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “Rhoda,” “Laverne & Shirley,” and the first four seasons of “Taxi.” 

He continued to work steadily and directed successful pilots that went to series for “Roc,” “3rd Rock From the Sun,” “Dharma & Greg,” and “Wings.” He directed multiple episodes of “Friends,” “Caroline in the City,” and “Frasier.”  

This magic continued into the 2000s with him directing the pilots for “Two and a Half Men,” “The Big Bang Theory,” and multiple episodes of “Mike & Molly,” and the entire return series of “Will & Grace.” 

What was the secret to his success? He’d enact the “fun clause” in his contract. In his words, “Life is too short to deal with obnoxious leads,” he shared. “So as long as the writing is good and the cast is fun, I’m going to enjoy the experience.” 

He had the magic touch, having multiple pilots turned into long-running series. He was nominated for an Emmy 24 times in 26 years and worked consistently until a year before his death.  

The secret was the way he brought the cast together. He describes, “it was my job to mold them into an ensemble, and they did round into a group of people who loved each other.”

This earned him 11 Emmy Awards and five Directors Guild of America Awards, including being awarded the inaugural DGA’s Lifetime Achievement Award for Television Direction. 

In a 2003 interview by the Television Academy, he was asked how he wants to be remembered, and he said, “That every night forever you can tune in somewhere, and there’ll be a show I did.”

He’s survived by his wife, Debbie, four daughters, seven grandchildren, and the countless people whose careers he launched and the countless viewers he inspired with his television legacy. 

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