Connect with us

a&e features

‘We were looking for something beautiful’

War brought gay ‘Out of Iraq’ couple together

Published

on

Nayyef Hrebid and Btoo Allami (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Nayyef Hrebid was a translator for the U.S. Marines in the Iraqi city of Ramadi in 2004 when he first saw Btoo Allami, who was a sergeant in the Iraqi army.

The two men spoke for the first time a few months later when they were on a joint mission to clear Ramadi of terrorists. Hrebid and Allami spent the next week together and they had their first kiss late one night in a garden that was surrounded by a makeshift fence made with sandbags.

“We were looking for something beautiful during a time that was very difficult for us,” Hrebid told the Washington Blade on April 28 during an interview at the Human Rights Campaign’s Time to THRIVE conference that took place at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel in Woodley Park. “We didn’t know if we were going to die or not so we were looking for something beautiful.”

“He’s something beautiful that happened to me,” he added.

Allami agreed, telling the Blade that he saw Hrebid first.

“It was just a really beautiful time,” said Allami.

Fellow Iraqi translator beat Hrebid because he is gay

“Out of Iraq,” which premiered last June at the LA Film Festival, documents Hrebid and Allami’s relationship.

“Out of Iraq” is on Logo and has been nominated for a GLAAD Media Award. The documentary won a Daytime Emmy Award a few hours after Hrebid and Allami spoke with the Blade.

The two men spent two years in Ramadi until they were both transferred to Diwaniyah, a city in southern Iraq, in 2007. Hrebid told the Blade “people in the military started knowing about our relationship.”

“A lot of people started talking,” he said.

Hrebid told the Blade that a fellow Iraqi translator who was his “best friend” broke his arm after he beat him because he is gay. He said the U.S. major to whom he reported the incident threatened him.

“‘If you say anything, I’ll throw you outside the camp, which is between the terrorists so they’d kill me,'” said the major, according to Hrebid.

“So I kept it inside me and I was crying because I knew there’s no justice,” he added.

Gay Iraqis targeted by militias, ISIS

Gay men could not serve openly in the U.S. military until “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was repealed in 2010.

Members of the Mahdi Army, a Shiite militia that prominent cleric Muqtada al-Sadr runs, in 2007 killed gay men who recorded themselves belly dancing at a birthday party. Hrebid told the Blade militia members killed more than 200 people in Baghdad in a single week “just because they are gay.”

“That’s by smashing their head with a big block in the middle of the street,” he said.

Allami was born into a poor Shiite family in Baghdad.

Al-Sadr last summer banned his followers from committing violence against LGBT people. Violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity nevertheless remains commonplace in Iraq, with Hrebid telling the Blade his friend’s parents killed him in front of their home after they found out he was gay.

“Everyone can judge you on the street,” he said. “It’s not easy to be gay in the Middle East, especially in Iraq.”

“A lot, a lot,” added Allami.

The so-called Islamic State has publicly executed dozens of men in portions of Iraq and Syria that it controls or once controlled.

UNHCR denies Allami refugee status application

Hrebid moved to Seattle in 2009 after he received asylum because he worked as a translator with the U.S. military.

“I came in 2009 and I saw the life here and how it’s different, but I was feeling so bad because he was left behind,” said Hrebid. “I promised to bring him here.”

Hrebid told the Blade that Allami’s family found out about their relationship when they heard them talking on the phone or on Skype.

“His life was getting more in danger,” Hrebid told the Blade as Allami listened. “He had to run away.”

Michael Failla, a Seattle-based immigration advocate who Hrebid befriended at a party, gave Allami money to travel to Lebanon on a 30 day tourist visa. Allami deserted the Iraqi army and flew to Beirut on Dec. 6, 2010.

Allami in early 2011 applied for refugee status with the U.N. Refugee Agency. Lebanese authorities would have sent him back to Iraq if they found him living in the country without documentation, but he said the UNHCR employee who interviewed him said the agency cared “more about families” than those who are gay.

“The first time the guy told me, ‘We don’t care about gay refugees,'” Allami told the Blade.

Hrebid in January 2013 saw Allami for the first time in more than three years when he and Failla traveled to Beirut.

Allami soon had a second UNHCR interview that lasted 11 hours. The agency deemed him ineligible for resettlement because a UNHCR employee with whom he previously met incorrectly reported that he witnessed U.S. soldiers torture Iraqi prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison outside of Baghdad.

“We had never been there,” Hrebid told the Blade, noting Allami learned about the torture through a newscast.

It took six years ‘for us to be together’

Allami had begun the process of applying for asylum in Canada as he waited for UNHCR’s decision. A group of Canadians sponsored him and the government approved his application in 2013.

Allami arrived in Vancouver on Sept. 9, 2013.

“That was the happiest day ever in my life,” Hrebid told the Blade. “I finally felt he was safe and he had papers and he could stand up and walk without anyone bothering him.”

Hrebid became a U.S. citizen in 2014, which is the same year in which same-sex couples received marriage rights in Washington State.

Nayyef Hrebid and Btoo Allami speak to the Washington Blade in D.C. on April 28, 2017. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

He and Allami married in Canada on Valentine’s Day in 2014. Allami applied for a visa that would allow him to live in the U.S.

It was granted in March 2015 after Allami had an interview in Montreal. He and Hrebid men married for a second time at Cailla’s Seattle home in August of that year.

“It took us basically six years for us to be together,” said Hrebid.

Families ‘freaked out’ after Ellen DeGeneres show appearance

Hrebid and Allami in January appeared on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” after Ellen DeGeneres read an interview the couple had done with the BBC.

Hrebid told the Blade their families in Iraq “freaked out” after show aired and news about their appearance spread throughout social media.

Hrebid said his uncle told him to return to Iraq so members of his tribe could kill him and “cut the shame.” He told the Blade that Allami’s family has disowned him.

“No one can mention his name in the family anymore,” said Hrebid.

Trump policies ‘going to put’ lives in danger

President Trump on Jan. 27 signed an executive order that banned citizens of Iraq and six other predominantly Muslim countries from entering the U.S. for 90 days. A revised travel ban that Trump signed in March did not include Iraq.

The second executive order has yet to take effect because it has been challenged in court.

“It’s going to put a lot of lives in danger,” Hrebid told the Blade. “He (Trump) thinks people just come through, walk in to the United States. Btoo is one example. It took four years just for vetting and a background check.”

Hrebid and Allami have begun to help other refugees resettle — at first in the U.S., but now Canada because of the Trump administration’s immigration policies.

“We could just shut our door and just live our lives without anyone knowing, but this is not why we are here,” said Hrebid. “We are here to let people know about what is happening in the Middle East and what is happening to those who are LGBTQ.”

Allami agreed, noting Seattle is “my home now” and it is “amazing.”

“We made our dreams come true,” he told the Blade.

Advertisement
FUND LGBTQ JOURNALISM
SIGN UP FOR E-BLAST

a&e features

Ultimate guide to queer gift giving

Champagne, candles, cologne, lawnmowers, and more

Published

on

Some gifts scream practical, others whisper luxury, and a few flat-out blur the lines. From cocoa that feels ceremonial to a cologne that linger like a suggestive smirk, this year’s ultimate gift picks prove that thoughtful (and occasionally naughty) presents don’t have to be prosaic. Welcome to your holiday cheat sheet for festive tangibles that get noticed, remembered, and maybe even result in a peck of gratitude planted under the mistletoe. Consensually, of course.


Amber Glass Champagne Flutes

Pop the champs – but make it vintage. These tulip-shaped stunners in amber-tinted glass bring all the Gatsby vibes without the Jazz-age drama. Whether you’re toasting a milestone or celebrating a Tuesday, their seven-ounce capacities and hand-wash-only care make ‘em as practical as they are pretty. Pair with a thoughtful bottle of bubs and gift with a glittering wink. $18, NantucketLooms.com


Disaster Playbook by Here Comes the Apocalypse

Because the end of the world shouldn’t be a solo act, this spiral-bound guide is your step-by-step roadmap to surviving and thriving when everything else goes sideways, which might be sooner than you think. Packed with checklists, drills, and a healthy dose of humor, it’s like a survival manual written by your most prepared (and slightly snarky) friend. Whether you’re prepping for a zombie apocalypse or, more realistically, REVOLUTION!, this playbook’s got your back. $40, HereComesTheApocalypse.com


Wickless Vulva Candles

Bold, luxurious, and completely flame-free, CTOAN’s wickless candles melt from beneath on a warmer, releasing subtle, sophisticated fragrances, like sandalwood or lavender. The vulva-shaped wax adds a playful, provocative element to any space –perfect for a bedroom, living room, or anywhere you want elegance with an edge. A gift that celebrates form, intimacy and self-expression, no fire required. $39, CTOANCO.com


Villeroy & Boch Royal Classic Christmas Collection

Every meal is a mini celebration – with whimsy at every place setting – in Villeroy & Boch’s Royal Classic festive dinnerware collection that hits all the right notes. Made from premium German porcelain, it features nostalgic little toys, nutcrackers, and rocking horses in delicate relief, giving your holiday spread a playful but refined twist. Dishwasher- and microwave-safe, it’s luxe without the fuss. Gift a piece to a special someone, or start a collection they’ll use (and show off) for years to come. $22-$363, Villeroy-Boch.com


Greenworks Electric Lawnmower

You a ’hood queen who considers lawn care performance art – or just wants to rule the cul-de-sac in quiet, emission-free glory? Greenworks’ zero-turn electric mower has the muscle of a 24-horsepower gas engine but none of the fumes, drama or maintenance. Six 60V batteries and a 42-inch deck mean you can mow up to two-and-a-half acres on a single charge – then plug in, recharge, and ride again. It’s whisper-quiet, slope-ready, and smooth enough to make you wonder why you ever pushed anything besides your queer agenda. The perfect gift for the homeowner who loves sustainability, symmetry, and showing off their freshly striped yard like that fresh fade you get on Fridays. $5,000, GreenworksTools.com


Molekule Air Purifier

For the friend who treats their space like a sanctuary (or just can’t stand sneezes), the Molekule Air Pro is magic in motion. Covering up to 1,000 square feet, it doesn’t just capture allergens, VOCs, and smoke – it destroys them, leaving your air feeling luxury-clean. FDA-cleared as a Class II medical device, it’s serious science disguised as modern design. Gift it to your city-dwelling, pet-loving, candle-burning friend who likes their living room as pristine as their Instagram feed. $1,015, Molekule.com


Cipriani Prosecco Gift Set

Effervescent with stone-fruit sweetness and a touch of Italian flair, the Cipriani Bellini & Prosecco gift set brings brunch-level glamour to any day of the week. The Bellini blends rich white-peach purée with sparkling wine, while the dry ’secco keeps things crisp and celebratory. Pop a bottle, pour a flute, and suddenly winter weeknights feel like a party – even with your pants off. $36, TotalWine.com


Woo(e)d Cologne

British GQ recently crowned Woo(e)d by ALTAIA the “Best Date Night Fragrance,” and honestly, they nailed it. Confident without being cocky – smoky gaïac and Atlas cedarwood grounds the room while supple leather and spicy cardamom do all the flirting – it’s a scent that lingers like good conversation and soft candlelight. Gift it to the one who always turns heads – or keep it for yourself and let them come to (and then on) you. $255, BeautyHabit.com


Lococo Cocoa Kit

Keep the run-of-the-mill mugs in the cabinet this Christmas and pull out Lococo’s handcrafted Oaxacan versions that demand you slow down and sip like it matters. Paired with a wooden scoop, rechargeable frother, and Lococo’s signature spice hot-chocolate blend (vegan, gluten-free, with adaptogenic mushrooms), this holiday kit turns Mexi-cocoa into a mini ritual you’ll look forward to. Perfect for anyone who loves a little indulgence with a side of ¡A huevo! energy.


Manta Sleep Mask

Total blackout, zero pressure on the eyes, and Bluetooth speakers built right into the straps, this ain’t your mama’s sleep mask — but it could be. The Manta SOUND sleep mask features C-shaped eye cups that block every hint of light while ultra-thin speakers deliver your favorite white noise, meditation, or late-night playlist straight to your ears. With 24-hour battery life, breathable fabric, and easy-to-adjust sound, it turns any bed (or airplane seat) into a five-star sleep suite. Perfect for anyone who treats shut-eye like an art form (or just wants to escape their roommate’s late-night bingin’ and/or bangin’). $159, MantaSleep.com


Shacklelock Necklace

Turn the industrial-chic vibe of a shackle into a sleek statement. Mi Tesoro’s platinum-plated stainless-steel necklace sits on an 18-inch wheat chain, featuring a shackle-style latch pendant that’s waterproof, tarnish-free, and totally fuss-les. Beyond style, it nods to a classic gesture in the queer leather community: replacing a traditional Master lock with something elegant to quietly signal belonging to someone special. Wear it solo for a minimalist edge or layer it like you mean it; either way this piece locks in both your look and your intentions. $90, MiTesoroJewelry.com


Parkside Flask Mojave Edition

Wine nights get a desert glow-up with Parkside’s limited-edition 750-milliliter all-in-one flask draped in sun-washed bronze and badland hues like sage, sand, and terracotta – with magnetic stemless tumblers that snap on for effortless shareability. It keeps your vino chilled for 24 hours, pours without drips (no tears for spilled rosé, please), and even lets you laser-engrave your own mantra or inside joke. Perfect for picnics, surprise rooftop clinks, or gifting to your favorite wine (or desert) rat. $149, HighCampFlasks.com


Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with him on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.

Continue Reading

a&e features

Meet Mr. Christmas

Hallmark’s Jonathan Bennett on telling gay love stories for mainstream audiences

Published

on

Hallmark’s Jonathan Bennett

Jonathan Bennett believes there are two kinds of people in the world — those who love Hallmark movies and liars. And in Season 2 of Finding Mr. Christmas, which the Mean Girls star co-created with Ben Roy, Bennett is searching for Hallmark’s next leading man.

“It’s so fun for people because everyone in their life has someone they know that they think should be in Hallmark movies, right? The UPS driver, the barista at the coffee shop, the dentist,” Bennett says. “So we’re testing their acting abilities, we’re testing who they are, but we’re also looking for that star quality — the thing that makes them shine above everyone else. It’s almost something you can’t explain, but we know it when we see it.”

Season 2’s cast includes a former NFL player for the Green Bay Packers, a few actors, and a realtor. The 10 men compete in weekly festive-themed acting challenges, one of which included having to ride a horse and act out a scene with Alison Sweeney. The contestants were chosen from a crop of 360 potential men, and Bennett gives kudos to the show’s Emmy-nominated casting director, Lindsay Liles (The Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise).

“She has a tough job because she has to find 10 guys that are going to be good reality television, but also have the talent to act, carry a scene, and lead a Hallmark movie eventually,” he says. To be the right fit for a Hallmark leading man, Bennett singles out five key characteristics: you have to be funny, charming, kind, have a sense of humor, and you have to do it all with a big heart.

Of course, Finding Mr. Christmas wouldn’t be Finding Mr. Christmas without its signature eye candy — something Bennett describes as “part of the job” for the contestants. “I can’t believe Hallmark let me get away with this. I dressed them as sexy reindeer and put them in harnesses attached to a cable 30 feet in the air, and they had to do a sexy reindeer photo shoot challenge,” he says with a laugh. “This season is just bigger and bolder than last. People are responding to not only all the craziness that we put them through, but also comparing and contrasting the guys in their acting scenes when we do them back-to-back.”

Season 1 winner Ezra Moreland’s career has been an early testament to the show’s success at finding rising talent. On seeing the show’s first winner flourish, Bennett says, “Now to watch him out in the world, just booking commercial after commercial and shining as an actor and a model, I think the show gave him the wings to do that. He learned so much about himself, and he took all that into his future auditions and casting. He just works nonstop. I’ve never seen an actor book more commercials and modeling gigs in my life.”

Bennett has been a star of plenty of Hallmark movies himself, including the GLAAD-award-winning The Groomsmen: Second Chances, which makes him a fitting host. Among those movies are 2020’s Christmas House, which featured the first same-sex kiss on the network and had a major impact on Bennett’s career as an openly gay man. “Hallmark’s been so great about supporting me in queer storytelling. But again, I don’t make gay movies for gay audiences. I make gay love stories for a broad audience, and that’s a huge difference, right? We’re not telling stories inside baseball that only the gay community will understand.”

He continues, “The backdrop of a Hallmark Christmas movie is very familiar to these people who watch. And so when you tell a gay love story, and you tell it no differently than a straight love story in that space, they’re able to understand. It’s able to change hearts and minds for people who might not have it in their lives.”

While Hallmark has become a major staple of Bennett’s career, he started off wanting to be a Broadway actor. And before the first season of Finding Mr. Christmas aired, Bennett took a break from TV to make his Broadway debut in Spamalot, replacing Michael Urie as Sir Robin and starring alongside Ethan Slater and Alex Brightman.

“That was my dream since I was five years old – then I booked a movie called Mean Girls, and everything kind of changes in your life. You no longer become a person pursuing Broadway, you become a part of pop culture,” Bennett recalls. “And to be honest, when I hit 40, I was like, ‘I’m probably never going to get to live that dream.’ And that’s okay, because I got to do other dreams and other things that were just as cool but different. So I honestly never thought it would happen.”

Bennett is still determined to make his way back on Broadway with the right role — he calls Spamalot the “best experience” of his life, after all — but he’s got another Hallmark show lined up with Murder Mystery House, which he co-created. The show was recently greenlit for development and intends to bring the Hallmark mystery movie to life. “It’s kind of like our version of The Traitors,” Bennett admits.

Looking back on both seasons, Bennett says that what makes Finding Mr. Christmas stand out in the overcrowded reality TV landscape is that everyone involved makes it with heart: “This isn’t a show where you’re going to watch people throw drinks in each other’s faces and get into big fights. The thing that has amazed me so much about this show, the more we’ve done it, is that every season, 10 guys come in as competitors, but they leave as a family and as brothers. That’s something you don’t get on any other network.”

Finding Mr. Christmas airs every Monday on Hallmark through December 20, with episodes available to stream on Hallmark+.

Continue Reading

a&e features

Guillermo Diaz on his role as a queer, Latino actor in Hollywood

Shattering stereotypes and norms with long resume of roles

Published

on

Guillermo Diaz (Photo courtesy Diaz)

Actor Guillermo Diaz has been working hard in the entertainment industry for more than three decades. Proud of his heritage and queer identity, he has broken through many glass ceilings to have a prolific career that includes tentpole moments such as roles in the films Party Girl, Half Baked, and Bros, and in major TV shows like Weeds and Scandal, and even in a Britney Spears music video. This season, he made his feature-length directorial debut with the film Dear Luke, Love Me.

In an intimate sit-down with the Blade, Diaz shares that he attributes a lot of his success to his Cuban upbringing.

“Well, it prepared me to learn how to lie really well and be a good actor because it was a lot of acting like you were straight, back in the eighties and nineties (laugh). Another thing I learned from my Cuban immigrant parents is that they work super hard. They both had two jobs; we were latchkey kids, and I just saw them constantly working and wanting to provide for us by any means. So that was super instilled in me. That was the one thing that really stuck out that I admire and respect.”

Besides Diaz’s recurring roles on TV, his resume includes appearances in just about every genre of programming out there. If there is a major show out there, he was probably on it. Law and Order, Girls, The Closer, Chappelles Show, ER, Party of Five, and the list goes on. He’s accomplished more in his career thus far than most actors do in a lifetime. There is no doubt he is a hard worker.

“It’s a sign that I just loved to work, and it’s funny looking back at it now because you see all those things, but at the time it was just the next gig, the next job.  I was just wanting to keep working and acting and learning and doing all that stuff. Then it sort of accumulates, and you look back and you’re like, damn! That’s a lot of stuff!”

Acting was never on Diaz’s radar until he was asked to fill in for a friend in a Beastie Boys medley for a talent show when he was a sophomore in high school.

“I did it and fell in love with it. I was teased a lot in high school. Then, when I did that performance, all those people who teased me were like, you were so great! So I looked at it initially as a thing of like, oh, this is where I’m accepted and people like me when I’m on stage. It’s kind of sad, too, because that’s what I latched onto. And then of course, I fell in love with the craft and performing and acting, but that initial rush was because all these people who were messing with me and teasing me all of a sudden liked me. And I was like, this is what I have to do.”

Little did Diaz know that he would break the mold when it came to stereotypical casting. When he first hit the industry, diversity and positive representation were not a thing in Hollywood.

“You just kind of accepted at the time. It was the early nineties. 90% of the time, it was playing a thug or a gun dealer, or a crack head – it was all bad guys, negative characters. But it was either that or not act and not be in anything. So you just kind of accept it, and then you have this sort of vision or hope that in the future it’s going to get better.

Diaz’s management was trepidatious about him playing gay roles for fear of being typecast. But Diaz did play a handful of gay roles early on, although he passed on But Im A Cheerleader, which went on to become a gay cult classic. Diaz decided early on that he was not going to hide his sexuality. Diaz appeared in the film Stonewall. That was the defining point for him in sharing his identity.

“Being cast in that historical sort of dramatization of the 1969 Stonewall riots – I couldn’t believe I was in the midst that I was in the middle of doing this and playing the lead drag queen on the film. I just felt so honored, and I knew it was important, and I knew I needed to do a really good job. I thought, what a special moment this is. And it kicked my ass shooting that movie.

I remember after doing Stonewall, people saying, well, now you’re either going to have to make a choice if you’re going to lie, or if you’re going to just be honest, and you’re going to have to be out from now on if you’re going to be honest. And I was like, I’m not going to freaking lie. When they’d asked me, I would say I was gay. I think because I never tried to hide it, it didn’t become a thing. So people just kind of ignored it. It didn’t mess with me or my career. I don’t know. Or I just got lucky. I don’t freaking know.”

As a queer, Latin actor, Diaz is all too aware of what is happening politically and socially in the world towards minority communities. Does he think actors have a place in politics?

“For sure. I mean, we’re people first, right? Like, I hate when people sort of are like, oh, you’re an actor, shut up. I’m super political and outspoken, and I’m that guy who will say shit. I’m on the right side of history, at least. I’m not being complicit and silent. So, yeah, I think actors for sure have a place in politics. Absolutely.”

While directing was on Diaz’s radar, it wasn’t something that he was actively searching out. But as life would have it, his friend Mallie McCown sent him her script for Dear Luke, Love Me, a film she would play the lead in. Diaz was hooked.

“It was one of those scripts that I had to keep putting down every like 20 pages. I would put it down because I didn’t want it to end. It was so good. Originally, I was just going to come on as a producer of the film, and then the director dropped out, and then Mallie asked me if I was interested in directing. I was scared as shit. I had never directed a feature film. But I was like, it’s now or never.”

The film covers a decade of the friendship between Penny and Luke, covering themes of platonic love, asexuality, co-dependence, and self-identity. With most of the film focusing on just the two leads, Diaz has crafted an intimate and raw film. What is his message with the film?

“That love is complicated, but it’s beautiful and rewarding and worth all the heartache. I believe that. I don’t want to give away too much in the film either, but I think everyone can relate to it because there’s heartache and there’s pain, and there’s beauty and there’s love.”

And in looking at his past work and in looking toward his future career, what kind of legacy does Diaz want to build?

“That I broke some ground, that I knocked down some walls as an artist; I’m hoping that made a difference. It’s funny because when you’re in it, you’re not thinking about all this stuff that could possibly pave the way for other people. You’re just kind of moving along and living your life. But yeah, I would hope that I broke down some walls as a queer Latino.

I hope that people can sort of get something out of me trying to live as authentically as I can, just being my queer self. Hopefully, that helps someone along who is having some troubles being accepted or being comfortable with who they are.”

Continue Reading

Popular