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‘We were looking for something beautiful’

War brought gay ‘Out of Iraq’ couple together

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Nayyef Hrebid and Btoo Allami (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Nayyef Hrebid was a translator for the U.S. Marines in the Iraqi city of Ramadi in 2004 when he first saw Btoo Allami, who was a sergeant in the Iraqi army.

The two men spoke for the first time a few months later when they were on a joint mission to clear Ramadi of terrorists. Hrebid and Allami spent the next week together and they had their first kiss late one night in a garden that was surrounded by a makeshift fence made with sandbags.

“We were looking for something beautiful during a time that was very difficult for us,” Hrebid told the Washington Blade on April 28 during an interview at the Human Rights Campaign’s Time to THRIVE conference that took place at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel in Woodley Park. “We didn’t know if we were going to die or not so we were looking for something beautiful.”

“He’s something beautiful that happened to me,” he added.

Allami agreed, telling the Blade that he saw Hrebid first.

“It was just a really beautiful time,” said Allami.

Fellow Iraqi translator beat Hrebid because he is gay

“Out of Iraq,” which premiered last June at the LA Film Festival, documents Hrebid and Allami’s relationship.

“Out of Iraq” is on Logo and has been nominated for a GLAAD Media Award. The documentary won a Daytime Emmy Award a few hours after Hrebid and Allami spoke with the Blade.

The two men spent two years in Ramadi until they were both transferred to Diwaniyah, a city in southern Iraq, in 2007. Hrebid told the Blade “people in the military started knowing about our relationship.”

“A lot of people started talking,” he said.

Hrebid told the Blade that a fellow Iraqi translator who was his “best friend” broke his arm after he beat him because he is gay. He said the U.S. major to whom he reported the incident threatened him.

“‘If you say anything, I’ll throw you outside the camp, which is between the terrorists so they’d kill me,'” said the major, according to Hrebid.

“So I kept it inside me and I was crying because I knew there’s no justice,” he added.

Gay Iraqis targeted by militias, ISIS

Gay men could not serve openly in the U.S. military until “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was repealed in 2010.

Members of the Mahdi Army, a Shiite militia that prominent cleric Muqtada al-Sadr runs, in 2007 killed gay men who recorded themselves belly dancing at a birthday party. Hrebid told the Blade militia members killed more than 200 people in Baghdad in a single week “just because they are gay.”

“That’s by smashing their head with a big block in the middle of the street,” he said.

Allami was born into a poor Shiite family in Baghdad.

Al-Sadr last summer banned his followers from committing violence against LGBT people. Violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity nevertheless remains commonplace in Iraq, with Hrebid telling the Blade his friend’s parents killed him in front of their home after they found out he was gay.

“Everyone can judge you on the street,” he said. “It’s not easy to be gay in the Middle East, especially in Iraq.”

“A lot, a lot,” added Allami.

The so-called Islamic State has publicly executed dozens of men in portions of Iraq and Syria that it controls or once controlled.

UNHCR denies Allami refugee status application

Hrebid moved to Seattle in 2009 after he received asylum because he worked as a translator with the U.S. military.

“I came in 2009 and I saw the life here and how it’s different, but I was feeling so bad because he was left behind,” said Hrebid. “I promised to bring him here.”

Hrebid told the Blade that Allami’s family found out about their relationship when they heard them talking on the phone or on Skype.

“His life was getting more in danger,” Hrebid told the Blade as Allami listened. “He had to run away.”

Michael Failla, a Seattle-based immigration advocate who Hrebid befriended at a party, gave Allami money to travel to Lebanon on a 30 day tourist visa. Allami deserted the Iraqi army and flew to Beirut on Dec. 6, 2010.

Allami in early 2011 applied for refugee status with the U.N. Refugee Agency. Lebanese authorities would have sent him back to Iraq if they found him living in the country without documentation, but he said the UNHCR employee who interviewed him said the agency cared “more about families” than those who are gay.

“The first time the guy told me, ‘We don’t care about gay refugees,'” Allami told the Blade.

Hrebid in January 2013 saw Allami for the first time in more than three years when he and Failla traveled to Beirut.

Allami soon had a second UNHCR interview that lasted 11 hours. The agency deemed him ineligible for resettlement because a UNHCR employee with whom he previously met incorrectly reported that he witnessed U.S. soldiers torture Iraqi prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison outside of Baghdad.

“We had never been there,” Hrebid told the Blade, noting Allami learned about the torture through a newscast.

It took six years ‘for us to be together’

Allami had begun the process of applying for asylum in Canada as he waited for UNHCR’s decision. A group of Canadians sponsored him and the government approved his application in 2013.

Allami arrived in Vancouver on Sept. 9, 2013.

“That was the happiest day ever in my life,” Hrebid told the Blade. “I finally felt he was safe and he had papers and he could stand up and walk without anyone bothering him.”

Hrebid became a U.S. citizen in 2014, which is the same year in which same-sex couples received marriage rights in Washington State.

Nayyef Hrebid and Btoo Allami speak to the Washington Blade in D.C. on April 28, 2017. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

He and Allami married in Canada on Valentine’s Day in 2014. Allami applied for a visa that would allow him to live in the U.S.

It was granted in March 2015 after Allami had an interview in Montreal. He and Hrebid men married for a second time at Cailla’s Seattle home in August of that year.

“It took us basically six years for us to be together,” said Hrebid.

Families ‘freaked out’ after Ellen DeGeneres show appearance

Hrebid and Allami in January appeared on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” after Ellen DeGeneres read an interview the couple had done with the BBC.

Hrebid told the Blade their families in Iraq “freaked out” after show aired and news about their appearance spread throughout social media.

Hrebid said his uncle told him to return to Iraq so members of his tribe could kill him and “cut the shame.” He told the Blade that Allami’s family has disowned him.

“No one can mention his name in the family anymore,” said Hrebid.

Trump policies ‘going to put’ lives in danger

President Trump on Jan. 27 signed an executive order that banned citizens of Iraq and six other predominantly Muslim countries from entering the U.S. for 90 days. A revised travel ban that Trump signed in March did not include Iraq.

The second executive order has yet to take effect because it has been challenged in court.

“It’s going to put a lot of lives in danger,” Hrebid told the Blade. “He (Trump) thinks people just come through, walk in to the United States. Btoo is one example. It took four years just for vetting and a background check.”

Hrebid and Allami have begun to help other refugees resettle — at first in the U.S., but now Canada because of the Trump administration’s immigration policies.

“We could just shut our door and just live our lives without anyone knowing, but this is not why we are here,” said Hrebid. “We are here to let people know about what is happening in the Middle East and what is happening to those who are LGBTQ.”

Allami agreed, noting Seattle is “my home now” and it is “amazing.”

“We made our dreams come true,” he told the Blade.

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Visit Cambridge, a ‘beautiful secret’ on Maryland’s Eastern Shore

New organization promotes town’s welcoming vibe, LGBTQ inclusion

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Cambridge, Md., is home to quaint shops, restaurants, and Victorian homes on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. (Photo courtesy James Lumalcuri)

CAMBRIDGE, Md. — Driving through this scenic, historic town on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, you’ll be charmed by streets lined with unique shops, restaurants, and beautifully restored Victorian homes. You’ll also be struck by the number of LGBTQ Pride flags flying throughout the town.

The flags are a reassuring signal that everyone is welcome here, despite the town’s location in ruby red Dorchester County, which voted for Donald Trump over Kamala Harris by a lopsided margin. But don’t let that deter you from visiting. A new organization, Proudly Cambridge, is holding its debut Pride event this weekend, touting the town’s welcoming, inclusive culture.

“We stumbled on a beautiful secret and we wanted to help get the word out,” said James Lumalcuri of the effort to create Proudly Cambridge.

The organization celebrates diversity, enhances public spaces, and seeks to uplift all that Cambridge has to share, according to its mission statement, under the tagline “You Belong Here.”

The group has so far held informal movie nights and a picnic and garden party; the launch party is June 28 at the Cambridge Yacht Club, which will feature a Pride celebration and tea dance. The event’s 75 tickets sold out quickly and proceeds benefit DoCo Pride.

“Tickets went faster than we imagined and we’re bummed we can’t welcome everyone who wanted to come,” Lumalcuri said, adding that organizers plan to make “Cheers on the Choptank” an annual event with added capacity next year.

One of the group’s first projects was to distribute free Pride flags to anyone who requested one and the result is a visually striking display of a large number of flags flying all over town. Up next: Proudly Cambridge plans to roll out a program offering affirming businesses rainbow crab stickers to show their inclusiveness and LGBTQ support. The group also wants to engage with potential visitors and homebuyers.

“We want to spread the word outside of Cambridge — in D.C. and Baltimore — who don’t know about Cambridge,” Lumalcuri said. “We want them to come and know we are a safe haven. You can exist here and feel comfortable and supported by neighbors in a way that we didn’t anticipate when we moved here.”

James Lumalcuri and Lou Cardenas sailing in Cambridge, Md. The couple bought a second home there and are spreading the word about the town’s pro-LGBTQ culture. (Photo courtesy the couple)

Lumalcuri, 53, a federal government employee, and his husband, Lou Cardenas, 62, a Realtor, purchased a Victorian house in Cambridge in 2021 and embarked on an extensive renovation. The couple also owns a home in Adams Morgan in D.C.

“We saw the opportunity here and wanted to share it with others,” Cardenas said. “There’s lots of housing inventory in the $300-400,000 range … we’re not here to gentrify people out of town because a lot of these homes are just empty and need to be fixed up and we’re happy to be a part of that.”

Lumalcuri was talking with friends one Sunday last year at the gazebo (affectionately known as the “gayzebo” by locals) at the Yacht Club and the idea for Proudly Cambridge was born. The founding board members are Lumalcuri, Corey van Vlymen, Brian Orjuela, Lauren Mross, and Caleb Holland. The group is currently working toward forming a 501(c)3.

“We need visibility and support for those who need it,” Mross said. “We started making lists of what we wanted to do and the five of us ran with it. We started meeting weekly and solidified what we wanted to do.”

Mross, 50, a brand strategist and web designer, moved to Cambridge from Atlanta with her wife three years ago. They knew they wanted to be near the water and farther north and began researching their options when they discovered Cambridge.

“I had not heard of Cambridge but the location seemed perfect,” she said. “I pointed on a map and said this is where we’re going to move.”

The couple packed up, bought a camper trailer and parked it in different campsites but kept coming back to Cambridge. 

“I didn’t know how right it was until we moved here,” she said. “It’s the most welcoming place … there’s an energy vortex here – how did so many cool, progressive people end up in one place?” 

Corey van Vlymen and his husband live in D.C. and were looking for a second home. They considered Lost River, W.Va., but decided they preferred to be on the water.

“We looked at a map on both sides of the bay and came to Cambridge on a Saturday and bought a house that day,” said van Vlymen, 39, a senior scientist at Booz Allen Hamilton. They’ve owned in Cambridge for two years.

They were drawn to Cambridge due to its location on the water, the affordable housing inventory, and its proximity to D.C.; it’s about an hour and 20 minutes away.

Now, through the work of Proudly Cambridge, they hope to highlight the town’s many attributes to residents and visitors alike.

“Something we all agree on is there’s a perception problem for Cambridge and a lack of awareness,” van Vlymen said. “If you tell someone you’re going to Cambridge, chances are they think, ‘England or Massachusetts?’”

He cited the affordability and the opportunity to save older, historic homes as a big draw for buyers.

“It’s all about celebrating all the things that make Cambridge great,” Mross added. “Our monthly social events are joyful and celebratory.” A recent game night drew about 70 people.

She noted that the goal is not to gentrify the town and push longtime residents out, but to uplift all the people who are already there while welcoming new visitors and future residents. 

They also noted that Proudly Cambridge does not seek to supplant existing Pride-focused organizations. Dorchester County Pride organizes countywide Pride events and Delmarva Pride was held in nearby Easton two weeks ago.

“We celebrate all diversity but are gay powered and gay led,” Mross noted.  

To learn more about Proudly Cambridge, visit the group on Facebook and Instagram.

What to see and do

Cambridge, located 13 miles up the Choptank River from the Chesapeake Bay, has a population of roughly 15,000. It was settled in 1684 and named for the English university town in 1686. It is home to the Harriet Tubman Museum, mural, and monument. Its proximity to the Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge makes it a popular stop for birders, drawn to more than 27,000 acres of marshland dubbed “the Everglades of the north.”

The refuge is walkable, bikeable, and driveable, making it an accessible attraction for all. There are kayaking and biking tours through Blackwater Adventures (blackwateradventuresmd.com).

Back in town, take a stroll along the water and through historic downtown and admire the architecture. Take in the striking Harriet Tubman mural (424 Race St.). Shop in the many local boutiques, and don’t miss the gay-owned Shorelife Home and Gifts (421 Race St.), filled with stylish coastal décor items. 

Stop for breakfast or lunch at Black Water Bakery (429 Race St.), which offers a full compliment of coffee drinks along with a build-your-own mimosa bar and a full menu of creative cocktails.

The Cambridge Yacht Club (1 Mill St.) is always bustling but you need to be a member to get in. Snapper’s on the water is temporarily closed for renovations. RaR Brewing (rarbrewing.com) is popular for craft beers served in an 80-year-old former pool hall and bowling alley. The menu offers burgers, wings, and other bar fare.

For dinner or wine, don’t miss the fantastic Vintage 414 (414 Race St.), which offers lunch, dinner, wine tasting events, specialty foods, and a large selection of wines. The homemade cheddar crackers, inventive flatbreads, and creative desserts (citrus olive oil cake, carrot cake trifle) were a hit on a recent visit.

Also nearby is Ava’s (305 High St.), a regional chain offering outstanding Italian dishes, pizzas, and more.  

For something off the beaten path, visit Emily’s Produce (22143 Church Creek Rd.) for its nursery, produce, and prepared meals.

“Ten minutes into the sticks there’s a place called Emily’s Produce, where you can pay $5 and walk through a field and pick sunflowers, blueberries, you can feed the goats … and they have great food,” van Vlymen said.

As for accommodations, there’s the Hyatt Regency Chesapeake Bay (100 Heron Blvd. at Route 50), a resort complex with golf course, spa, and marina. Otherwise, check out Airbnb and VRBO for short-term rentals closer to downtown.

Its proximity to D.C. and Baltimore makes Cambridge an ideal weekend getaway. The large LGBTQ population is welcoming and they are happy to talk up their town and show you around. 

“There’s a closeness among the neighbors that I wasn’t feeling in D.C.,” Lumalcuri said. “We look after each other.”

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James Baldwin bio shows how much of his life is revealed in his work

‘A Love Story’ is first major book on acclaimed author’s life in 30 years

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(Book cover image courtesy of FSG)

‘Baldwin: A Love Story’
By Nicholas Boggs
c.2025, FSG
$35/704 pages

“Baldwin: A Love Story” is a sympathetic biography, the first major one in 30 years, of acclaimed Black gay writer James Baldwin. Drawing on Baldwin’s fiction, essays, and letters, Nicolas Boggs, a white writer who rediscovered and co-edited a new edition of a long-lost Baldwin book, explores Baldwin’s life and work through focusing on his lovers, mentors, and inspirations.

The book begins with a quick look at Baldwin’s childhood in Harlem, and his difficult relationship with his religious, angry stepfather. Baldwin’s experience with Orilla Miller, a white teacher who encouraged the boy’s writing and took him to plays and movies, even against his father’s wishes, helped shape his life and tempered his feelings toward white people. When Baldwin later joined a church and became a child preacher, though, he felt conflicted between academic success and religious demands, even denouncing Miller at one point. In a fascinating late essay, Baldwin also described his teenage sexual relationship with a mobster, who showed him off in public.

Baldwin’s romantic life was complicated, as he preferred men who were not outwardly gay. Indeed, many would marry women and have children while also involved with Baldwin. Still, they would often remain friends and enabled Baldwin’s work. Lucien Happersberger, who met Baldwin while both were living in Paris, sent him to a Swiss village, where he wrote his first novel, “Go Tell It on the Mountain,” as well as an essay, “Stranger in the Village,” about the oddness of being the first Black person many villagers had ever seen. Baldwin met Turkish actor Engin Cezzar in New York at the Actors’ Studio; Baldwin later spent time in Istanbul with Cezzar and his wife, finishing “Another Country” and directing a controversial play about Turkish prisoners that depicted sexuality and gender. 

Baldwin collaborated with French artist Yoran Cazac on a children’s book, which later vanished. Boggs writes of his excitement about coming across this book while a student at Yale and how he later interviewed Cazac and his wife while also republishing the book. Baldwin also had many tumultuous sexual relationships with young men whom he tried to mentor and shape, most of which led to drama and despair.

The book carefully examines Baldwin’s development as a writer. “Go Tell It on the Mountain” draws heavily on his early life, giving subtle signs of the main character John’s sexuality, while “Giovanni’s Room” bravely and openly shows a homosexual relationship, highly controversial at the time. “If Beale Street Could Talk” features a woman as its main character and narrator, the first time Baldwin wrote fully through a woman’s perspective. His essays feel deeply personal, even if they do not reveal everything; Lucian is the unnamed visiting friend in one who the police briefly detained along with Baldwin. He found New York too distracting to write, spending his time there with friends and family or on business. He was close friends with modernist painter Beauford Delaney, also gay, who helped Baldwin see that a Black man could thrive as an artist. Delaney would later move to France, staying near Baldwin’s home.

An epilogue has Boggs writing about encountering Baldwin’s work as one of the few white students in a majority-Black school. It helpfully reminds us that Baldwin connects to all who feel different, no matter their race, sexuality, gender, or class. A well-written, easy-flowing biography, with many excerpts from Baldwin’s writing, it shows how much of his life is revealed in his work. Let’s hope it encourages reading the work, either again or for the first time.

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Looking back at 50 years of Pride in D.C

Washington Blade’s unique archives chronicle highs, lows of our movement

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Gay Pride Day 1976 (Washington Blade archive photo)

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of LGBTQ Pride in Washington, D.C., the Washington Blade team combed our archives and put together a glossy magazine showcasing five decades of celebrations in the city. Below is a sampling of images from the magazine but be sure to find a print copy starting this week.

D.C.’s Different Drummers march in the 2006 Capital Pride Parade. (Washington Blade archive photo by Adam Cuthbert)

The magazine is being distributed now and is complimentary. You can find copies at LGBTQ bars and restaurants across the city. Or visit the Blade booth at the Pride festival on June 7 and 8 where we will distribute copies. 

Thank you to our advertisers and sponsors, whose support has enabled us to distribute the magazine free of charge. And thanks to our dedicated team at the Blade, especially Photo Editor Michael Key, who spent many hours searching the archives for the best images, many of which are unique to the Blade and cannot be found elsewhere. And thanks to our dynamic production team of Meaghan Juba, who designed the magazine, and Phil Rockstroh who managed the process. Stephen Rutgers and Brian Pitts handled sales and marketing and staff writers Lou Chibbaro Jr., Christopher Kane, Michael K. Lavers, Joe Reberkenny along with freelancer and former Blade staffer Joey DiGuglielmo wrote the essays. 

The 1995 Lesbian and Gay Freedom Festival was held on Freedom Plaza on June 18. (Washington Blade archive photo by Clint Steib)

The magazine represents more than 50 years of hard work by countless reporters, editors, advertising sales reps, photographers, and other media professionals who have brought you the Washington Blade since 1969.

We hope you enjoy the magazine and keep it as a reminder of all the many ups and downs our local LGBTQ community has experienced over the past 50 years.

I hope you will consider supporting our vital mission by becoming a Blade member today. At a time when reliable, accurate LGBTQ news is more essential than ever, your contribution helps make it possible. With a monthly gift starting at just $7, you’ll ensure that the Blade remains a trusted, free resource for the community — now and for years to come. Click here to help fund LGBTQ journalism.

The D.C. Black Gay Men & Women’s Community Conference table at Gay Pride Day in 1978. (Washington Blade archive photo by Jim Marks)
A scene from 1985 Gay and Lesbian Pride Day. (Washington Blade archive photo by Doug Hinckle)
A scene from the 1988 Gay and Lesbian Pride Day. (Washington Blade archive photo by Doug Hinckle)
A scene from the Capital Pride Block Party in 2018. (Washington Blade photo by Daniel Truitt)
Keke Palmer performs at the 2024 Capital Pride Festival. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
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