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Use your home to save money on a wedding

Reduce costs by using house for rehearsal dinner, reception and more

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home wedding, gay news, Washington Blade
Host your wedding or rehearsal dinner at home to save money.

Almost everyone on HGTV who is hunting for a house wants ā€œspace to entertain,ā€ but what do they really use it for, other than Thanksgiving dinner and other holidays? 

How about a wedding?

The average cost of a wedding is more than $33,000 and, in some areas of the country, as much as $70,000. Engagements last for a year or more while people prepare for their lavish and expensive wedding.

Costs are skyrocketing ā€“ a $12,000 Oscar de la Renta dress, matching $2,000 Jimmy Choo heels, and $3,500 Armani suits for starters. Wedding planners are there to help you spend your money on a pre-wedding checklist. 

The venue for the reception is one of the first decisions a couple will make, even basing the wedding date on the availability of the chosen reception hall. Booking the photographer and videographer is also high on the list, as well as finding a caterer, a florist, and either live music or a DJ.

Wedding websites with names like herbandjohngethitched.com are very popular. You can tell the story of how you met, include information about the wedding and reception destinations, create a photo gallery, and post the ever-popular gift registry, where people can see whatā€™s on your wish list, then go on Amazon to buy it much cheaper.

Youā€™ll also need to create a guest list. This exercise will be in the running for ā€œfirst big fight of the engagement,ā€ so kiss and make up, attend the cake tasting, and buy insurance for your engagement ring, just in case.  

Once youā€™ve agreed on who and how many will attend, send out your Save the Date e-cards, add the guest list to your website with a link to confirm attendance, plan your menu, and follow up with formal invitations as you get closer to the actual wedding date. 

Wow! Iā€™m exhausted and broke already, and thereā€™s still a lot of stuff to check off the wedding plannerā€™s cheat sheet. Thankfully, the price of a wedding can be reduced by using your home for such things as rehearsal dinners, receptions, and space for overnight guests.

My favorite wedding was in 1976, before people began to spend their life savings, inheritance, or trust funds for one day of happiness. 

It was an unconventional church wedding, held at 9 p.m. The bride wore flowers in her hair instead of a veil and carried candles instead of flowers. Her dress was made by her motherā€™s best friend and the bridesmaids wore halter dresses made from a Simplicity pattern ā€“ something they would be able to wear post-wedding.

The reception was held on the screened porch of the family home. Food and alcohol flowed freely. The brideā€™s mother, who was getting her masterā€™s degree in music therapy at the University of Miami, hired their jazz combo to play at the reception.

The brideā€™s father, however, left a lasting impression when he dove into the pool in his tuxedo, swam to the other end, raised his glass and asked, ā€œWill somebody get me a Scotch?ā€

The next wedding of note was in 1988. The bride and groom were living in a studio apartment while their new home was being built. Their wedding was as small and as cheap as that apartment.

Two friends served as best man and maid of honor. The ceremony was conducted by a justice of the peace in her living room, followed by a reception at Bobā€™s Big Boy for their all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet.

The next wedding took place in 2005 in the brideā€™s backyard. The officiant was a city councilman who had been ordained on the Internet just for this purpose. While the bride and groom were reciting their vows, a jetliner flew overhead, drowning out the ceremony. The reception made up for it with authentic Mexican food prepared by the groomā€™s family.

The pictures of the event came out badly and the videographer took his payment of $350 and was never seen or heard from again. Lesson learned: donā€™t rely on Craigslist to find your wedding professionals.

So, as the season approaches, make your wedding memorable but less expensive by including something personal – grooms in matching, yellow tennis shoes, brides in tuxedos, barefoot on the beach with margaritas, or maybe a reception on the roof deck of your condo, with a panoramic view of D.C. monuments.  

Youā€™ll find many ways to conserve your cash, but whatever you do, get the Jimmy Choo shoes. Iā€™ll look for you at our annual high-heel race.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland and Virginia and Director of Education & Mentorship at RLAH Real Estate. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs. Ā 

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Real Estate

Loving where you rent in D.C.

Creating a home you can adore in the nationā€™s capital

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D.C. offers a vibrant lifestyle, but it can pose challenges for renters. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

As Valentine’s Day approaches, our thoughts often turn to love. While we may think of candlelit dinners or romantic gestures, love extends beyond relationshipsā€”itā€™s about the spaces we inhabit and how we nurture our connection to them. Loving where you live can have a profound impact on your well-being, and for renters in Washington, D.C., transforming an apartment into a cherished home is not only possible, but also can feel essential.

Washington, D.C., offers a vibrant lifestyle, but it can also pose challenges for renters. High costs, stressful work environments, limited space, and the very nature of urban living might make it harder to settle in. However, with some thoughtful adjustments, you can turn your rental into a space you love. Letā€™s explore how to create a home thatā€™s a sanctuary, not just a stopover.

Personalize Your Space

One of the first steps to loving where you live is making it feel uniquely yours. Although renting may come with restrictions, there are plenty of ways to customize your apartment:

  • Add Color: Use removable wallpaper or peel-and-stick decals to introduce vibrant or calming hues. Area rugs are another excellent way to bring warmth and character to any room.
  • Display Your Story: Showcase meaningful art, family photos, or souvenirs from your travels. Gallery walls can make even a small space feel personal.
  • Lighting Matters: Replace harsh overhead lighting with floor or table lamps to create a cozy ambiance. Use LED bulbs to save energy and customize brightness levels.

Embrace Multifunctional Furniture

City living can impose limited square footage and multifunctional furniture is your best friend. Look for pieces that serve dual purposes:

  • A storage ottoman can double as seating.
  • Fold-out tables save space while offering dining or work surfaces when you need them.
  • A quality sofa bed is perfect for accommodating guestsĀ 

Incorporate Plants and Greenery

Bringing nature indoors can instantly uplift your mood and enhance your living space:

  • Low-Maintenance Options: Snake plants, pothos, and succulents thrive with minimal care.
  • Vertical Gardens: If floor space is limited, consider wall-mounted planters.
  • Window Sills: Herbs like basil or mint not only look and smell good, they are useful for cooking.

Create Comfortable Zones

Think about how you use your apartment and design dedicated areas:

  • Work Corner: With remote work becoming increasingly common, invest in a comfortable chair, desk, and good lighting.
  • Relaxation Spot: A corner with a plush chair, blanket, and books can be your go-to for unwinding.
  • Entertaining Area: Even small spaces can shine with the right setup for hosting, such as a stylish bar cart or foldable chairs.

Maintain and Refresh Regularly

A clutter-free and clean apartment naturally feels more inviting:

  • De-clutter quarterly, donating or discarding items you no longer use.
  • Use storage systems to stash things away you do not need regularlyĀ 
  • Add seasonal touches like new cushions or throws to keep your space feeling fresh.
  • Invest in quality cleaning tools to make upkeep easier.

Discovering the Loveable Side of D.C.

Beyond your apartment, Washington, D.C., is a city rich in experiences that make life here unique. Embracing the D.C. lifestyle can deepen your connection to where you live. Here are a few affordable and distinctly D.C. activities to enjoy this Valentineā€™s Day month:

Loving Life in D.C.

1. Explore Hidden Gems:

  • The United States Botanical Garden: Even though it is the middle of winter, the Conservatory on the grounds of the U.S. Capitol is a wonderful place to get out of the cold.Ā  And a bonus – it is the time of year when orchids are in bloom. Enjoy a touch of a tropical environment right in downtown DC.
  • Kennedy Centerā€™s Millennium Stage: Enjoy free performances showcasing local and international talent. Every day, usually at 6 p.m., you can see artists from around the world in the central hall at the Kennedy Center. And all you have to do is get there in time! Check out the entire program here:Ā  https://www.kennedy-center.org/whats-on/millennium-stageĀ 

2. Taste D.C.’s Diverse Cuisine:

  • Sample global flavors at Union Market. https://unionmarketdc.comĀ 
  • Grab a half-smoke from Benā€™s Chili Bowl, a true local original, on U Street, H Street, and other locations citywide.

3. Embrace the Outdoors:

  • Walk or bike the Mount Vernon Trail along the Potomac River; the Capitol Crescent Trail on the west side, and the newer trail, the Metropolitan Branch Trail that runs from Union Station to Silver Spring.
  • Visit Malcolm X Park (also known as Meridian Hill Park) for its cascading fountains, lively drum circles, snow ball fights, and more! Ā 

4. Dive Into History:

  • Tour the lesser-known exhibits at the Smithsonian Anacostia Community Museum, the National Museums of Asian or African Art, and the incredible Renwick Gallery of American Art opposite the White House.
  • Explore the Frederick Douglass National Historic Site for a deeper understanding of D.C.’s role in history.Ā  https://www.nps.gov/frdo/index.htmĀ 

5. Enjoy Affordable Culture:

  • Attend pay-what-you-can nights at local theaters like Studio Theatre, Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company, or Theatre J located in the Jewish Community Center at 16th Street and Q Streets, NW.
  • Take advantage of free museum access year-round, from the National Gallery of Art to the Hirshhorn Museum.

Building a Life You Love

Loving where you live isnā€™t just about the walls that surround youā€”itā€™s about the life you create within them. By personalizing your apartment and immersing yourself in the unique experiences D.C. offers, youā€™ll better foster a personal sense of belonging and joy. This Valentineā€™s Day, remember to nurture not only your relationships, but also your relationship with your home and your city. After all, love begins at home.


Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager of Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, go to ColumbiaPM.com

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Real Estate

Navigating D.C.ā€™s down payment assistance programs

On the way home, after a detour and a few speed bumps

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D.C. offers some of the most extensive programs for down payment assistance in the country. (Illustration by demianvs/Bigstock)

D.C. offers some of the most extensive programs for down payment assistance that are managed by the Greater Washington Urban League and the DC Housing Finance Authority, for programs like HPAP and EAHP (Home Purchase Assistance Program and Employer Assisted Housing Program). 

The District also offers the DC Opens Doors Program. All of these are great examples of offerings to help first-time or newer home purchasers to afford buying in the District of Columbia, one of the nationā€™s most expensive housing markets. 

There are various requirements for a buyer to use the program. These can be found at dhcd.dc.gov/service/homeownership. Many qualified local lenders are knowledgeable about these programs and can assist in dozens of these transactions each year. Often, asking a lender about these programs is a great place to start. Tina Del Casale with Sandy Spring Bank has been helping her clients with these programs for years. As part of her education outreach for clients, Tina informs her buyers of the following:

  • In the HPAP and the EAHP program, the seller must provide the opportunity for the buyer to perform a home inspection with a qualified home inspector. Ā 
  • The items that are flagged as ā€œmust repairsā€ need to be fixed by the seller. Ā 
  • The buyer must get their financial documentation to the lenders involved, as well as to the District of Columbia to be approved to use the program. Ā 
  • Whichever organization or department is managing the down payment assistance fund disbursal will also be involved in the process.Ā 
  • Ideally, it takes about 45-60 days from the date of ratification (going under contract) to close (the settlement date)Ā 
  • The lenders help to qualify/approve the condo buildings for financial health, ensuring that the finances within the building are being maintained by the homeowner association.

What happens, often, is that the process goes smoothly until the organization that manages the down payment assistance funds receives the file. The closing date can be extended time and time again, causing both the buyer and the seller to recalculate moving dates, moving trucks, packing, when to move funds around, whose home they will be sleeping at after the 3rd or 4th delay, and wondering if the seller is going to become so agitated with the entire process that they begin to Google search the term ā€œsmall claims court.ā€ In a recent instance, the buyer was delayed about four times over the holidays and when the file was ready to close, they were informed that the settlement had to be the following day. So, it was a situation of delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, and do this NOW, which means a buyer must coordinate (for the maybe 3rd time) a day off of work and recalculate their entire schedule at the last second to accommodate an organization that seems to have made few efforts to stay in communication along the way.

These delays make the buyer less competitive to win an offer and can make a planned purchase fail due to the failure of the buyer to perform. Nobody wants to be told their house will sell and then must make alternative plans when they realize the contract is not going through, OR there will be a significant delay by up to one to three months. 

How can we make this process more user friendly? If we could, developers might be more motivated to make affordable housing units available for more people, knowing that the process of selling a unit wonā€™t cause interminable delays and headaches for all parties involved.  Buyers must be fully vetted financially before submitting an offer. Is there a way to fully vet the down payment assistance funds, that they arrive in escrow at the title company a week or two before settlement so that all parties can plan their lives accordingly? 

Self-awareness as an organization is crucial for knowing where blind spots exist, how they can be looked at, and how a decent process can be improved to fulfill its own goal of helping buyers get into homeownership. Perhaps an exit interview or feedback form could be sent to each buyer after purchase and looked at for suggestions for improvement.


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals.Ā Reach him at 703-587-0597 orĀ [email protected].

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Real Estate

Tips for those considering buying a home in the Caribbean

Weather, safety, infrastructure among concerns

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Many Americans are considering leaving the country for the next four years. The Caribbean is an appealing option. (Photo by Nik Sorokin/Bigstock)

I recently returned from cruising through the Caribbean, just in time to experience the last vestiges of a snowstorm and 15-degree weather, coupled with a plethora of angry people wearing red hats, absent-mindedly riding around in circles on the Metro. No matter ā€“ I still have that post-vacation glow.

The Caribbean, a diverse region of 13 independent countries, 12 dependencies, and seven overseas territories, has long been a dream destination for travelers, retirees, and investors alike. With its crystal-clear waters, pristine beaches, and relaxed lifestyle, it’s no wonder that many people are drawn to the idea of owning property in this tropical paradise.

Buying real estate in the Caribbean requires careful planning, research, and an understanding of the unique challenges and opportunities that come with investing in a foreign market. Selecting the right island and community is a critical step in the buying process.

Consider such factors as:

  • Accessibility: Proximity to major airports and ease of travel
  • Infrastructure: Availability of roads, utilities, and amenities such as internet and streaming services
  • Safety and security: Crime rates and political stability
  • Climate and weather risks: Susceptibility to hurricanes and natural disasters
  • Healthcare: Quality and availability of medical services

Property prices and inventory vary widely across the region. Each Caribbean nation has its own rules regarding foreign ownership of property. Some countries have relatively open markets where foreigners can buy land freely. Others, such as the Bahamas, require special permits for non-residents purchasing property above a certain value.

It is essential to work with a reputable local attorney to navigate the legal requirements, including landownership laws and restrictions, residency and citizenship options, property taxes and fees, and title searches and due diligence.

Some islands, like Barbados and the Cayman Islands, offer residency permits for property owners who meet specific financial criteria. These programs can provide tax benefits, visa-free travel, long-term residency rights, and in some cases, top-tier medical facilities, including private hospitals and specialized care centers. 

Moreover, Antigua & Barbuda,Ā Dominica,Ā Grenada,Ā St. Kitts,Ā andĀ St. Lucia offer a Citizenship by Investment (CBI) program for property buyers: In some cases, citizenship will grant you visa-free access to more than 150 countries. While the costs fluctuate depending on the country, the process can be completed in as little as 7-12 months.Ā 

As you can imagine, there has been a surge of inquiries from the U.S. since last fall, so it would be wise to confirm the most recent amount and type of minimum investment required. You can find helpful information from the company La Vida atĀ  goldenvisas.com.

Many buyers in the Caribbean look to generate income through vacation rentals or long-term leasing. Islands with strong tourism demand, such as Aruba, the Bahamas, and St. Lucia, offer excellent rental potential. 

Working with a reputable property management company can help maximize rental income and ensure smooth operations; however, investors should consider seasonal fluctuations in tourism, property management costs, and local regulations on short-term rentals in determining their return on investment before committing to a purchase. 

As in the U.S., buying property in the Caribbean comes with additional costs beyond the purchase price. These may include legal fees (typically 1-3% of the purchase price), stamp duties and transfer taxes that vary by country, real estate agent compensation, property insurance, and maintenance costs.

Financing can be a challenge for foreign buyers, as many Caribbean banks require substantial down payments or have stringent lending criteria. Some investors choose to secure financing from their home country or pay in cash.

Nonetheless, expatriates living in the Caribbean often benefit from a lower cost of living, warm climate, and relaxed lifestyle. Many islands have well-established expat communities, making it easier to adjust to life abroad. As you begin your journey, it is recommended that you secure health insurance that covers medical treatment in both the Caribbean and your home country.

To successfully purchase property in the Caribbean, research and choose your preferred island based on your budget, lifestyle, and investment goals. Work with a local real estate agent who understands the market and legal requirements and, if applicable, speaks the appropriate language. Hire an attorney to conduct a title search, review contracts, and ensure compliance with local laws. Negotiate the purchase price and sign a sales agreement. Secure financing (if needed) and transfer funds. 

Once you have completed additional legal requirements such as obtaining permits, paying taxes, and registering the property, you might consider rental or management options if you are not living there full-time.

But if the Caribbean is to be your home away from home for at least a few years, turn off the news, stick an umbrella in your favorite frothy adult beverage, and lean into island living. 


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.Ā 

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