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QUEERY: Ruben J. Gonzales

The LGBTQ Victory Institute VP answers 20 queer questions

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Ruben J. Gonzales, gay news, Washington Blade
Ruben J. Gonzales (Photo by Teddy Wihite)

The 2020 election, being queer and indigenous, the role of same-sex partners on the campaign trail, criminal justice reform, plastics pollution — these are just some of the topics attendees are tackling this week at the International LGBTQ Leaders Conference, which runs through Saturday in Washington.

“Anti-LGBTQ laws and opportunities to advance equality often occur at the state and local level,” says Ruben J. Gonzales, vice president of the organization. “Victory Institute’s work focuses on building a bench of LGBTQ elected officials who can affect change there. There is also an undeniable benefit to growing and diversifying the number of candidates and elected officials who can be out and proud role models for young queer people and change hearts and minds through their campaigns and careers.”
Close to 600 are attending the conference, in its 35th year. It’s been held in Washington annually since 2016 (it was held in other cities prior).

“(The conference) remains at its core a place for elected and appointed officials — current and aspiring as well as the people who love them — to come together,” Gonzales says. “We will offer them many settings for doing that including our plenary and breakout sessions, many receptions and nights out in Washington.”

The Institute employs 19 and has a $2.9 million annual operating budget (in addition to the $2.8 million for the LGBTQ Victory Fund, its sister organization).

Gonzales, who identifies as queer, came to Washington 10 years ago to work at UnidosUS. The 43-year-old Phoenix native previously led GLAAD’s volunteer program and raised major gifts for the LGBTQ Task Force.

Gonzales is married to Joaquin Tamayo, his partner of 20 years. They live in Petworth with their Whaten Terrier, Sadie Rose. Gonzales enjoys working out, audiobook memoirs and “anything related to dance” in his free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I’ve been out for 26 years. My Nana (my Dad’s mom) was the hardest person to tell. She was the person I loved the most who I really thought might not accept me after coming out to her. She told me she loved me but asked me to never be affectionate with a man in front of her; she eventually relented on that and was very supportive.

Who’s your LGBTQ hero?

Jose Sarria was the first openly gay person to run for public office in 1961. I know how much courage it takes to run now and I am amazed that Sarria ran as an out Latinx Queer 13 years before Kathy Kozachenko became the first out elected official in the U.S. in 1974.

What LGBTQ stereotype most annoys you?

That gays are mean and catty.

What’s your proudest professional achievement?

Since I have worked at Victory Institute, the number of transgender and gender non-conforming elected officials has grown from under a handful to more than 30. This year over 20 percent of the people we trained to run for office were transgender or gender non-conforming.

What terrifies you?

Four more years of kids in cages.

What’s something trashy or vapid you love?

What’s something trashy or vapid I don’t love?

What’s your greatest domestic skill?

Making playlists for every and all occasions.

What’s your favorite LGBTQ movie or show?

All of the gay ’90s movies: “Paris is Burning,” “Trick,” “Broken Hearts Club,” “Party Girl,” “Jeffrey,” “Velvet Goldmine,” “The Opposite of Sex,” “But I’m a Cheerleader,” “Beautiful Thing,” “To Wong Foo” and “The Celluloid Closet.”

What’s your social media pet peeve?

Vaguebooking (posting something intentionally ambiguous for attention). I mean either share something or don’t.

What would the end of the LGBTQ movement look like to you?

LGBTQ people will always be a minority and our movement toward full equality will be ongoing. However, electing more than 22,000 LGBTQ people to achieve equitable representation (4.5 percent of all elected positions) in the U.S. is a good start. We are at just about 800 now.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Putting away your white shoes after Labor Day.

What was your religion, if any, as a child and what is it today?

I grew up Catholic and today I still have a special place in my heart and on my altar for la Virgen de Guadalupe.

What’s D.C.’s best hidden gem?

The drag scene in Petworth. Taqueria del Barrio has a great drag brunch and drag trivia and Desiree Dik puts on an incredible monthly show at Slash Run.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The Madonna/Britney/Xtina kiss on the VMAs in 2003 was actually everything to me.

What celebrity death hit you hardest?

Whitney Houston. I always believed she would have a comeback and her voice would be back in top shape.

If you could redo one moment from your past, what would it be?

I don’t have many regrets and genuinely try and learn from every mistake but once I missed out on an opportunity to have my mom meet the cast of “All My Children” because I did not follow through with a friend.

What are your obsessions?

My dog Sadie Rose, drag shows and identifying music samples.

Finish this sentence — It’s about damn time:

D.C. was recognized as a state and we have representation in Congress.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That Ricky Martin was actually gay.

Why Washington?

This week I saw Sasha Velour’s incredible show and AOC was in the audience. I once saw a Beyonce show with Michelle Obama and her girls in the audience. Where else in the world does that happen?!

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D.C. LGBTQ sports bar Pitchers listed for sale

Move follows months of challenges for local businesses in wake of Trump actions

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Pitchers is for sale at an undisclosed price. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

A Santa Monica, Calif.-based commercial real estate company called Zacuto Group has released a 20-page online brochure announcing the sale of the D.C. LGBTQ sports bar Pitchers and its adjoining lesbian bar A League of Her Own.

 The brochure does not disclose the sale price, and Pitchers owner David Perruzza told the Washington Blade he prefers to hold off on talking about his plans to sell the business at this time.

He said the sale price will be disclosed to “those who are interested.” 

“Matthew Luchs and Matt Ambrose of the Zacuto Group have been selected to exclusively market for sale Pitchers D.C., located at 2317 18th Street, NW in Washington, D.C located in the vibrant and nightlife Adams Morgan neighborhood,” the sales brochure states.

 “Since opening its doors in 2018, Pitchers has quickly become the largest and most prominent LGBTQ+ bar in Washington, D.C., serving as a cornerstone of D.C.’s modern queer nightlife scene,” it says, adding, “The 10,000+ SF building designed as a large-scale inclusive LGBTQ+ sports bar and social hub, offering a welcoming environment for the entire community.”

It points out that the Pitchers building, which has two years remaining on its lease and has a five-year renewal option, is a multi-level venue that features five bar areas, “indoor and outdoor seating, and multiple patios, creating a dynamic and flexible layout that supports a wide range of events and high customer volume.”

“Pitchers D.C. is also home to A League of Her Own, the only dedicated lesbian bar in Washington, D.C., further strengthening its role as a vital and inclusive community space at a time when such venues are increasingly rare nationwide,” the brochure says. 

Zacuto Group sales agent Luchs, who serves as the company’s senior vice president, did not immediately respond to a phone message left by the Blade seeking further information, including the sale price. 

News of Perruzza’s decision to sell Pitchers and A League of Her Own follows his Facebook postings last fall saying Pitchers, like other bars in D.C., was adversely impacted by the Trump administration’s deployment of National Guard soldiers on D.C. streets   

In an Oct. 10 Facebook post, Perruzza said he was facing, “probably the worst economy I have seen in a while and everyone in D.C. is dealing with the Trump drama.” He told the Blade in a Nov. 10 interview that Pitchers continued to draw a large customer base, but patrons were not spending as much on drinks.

The Zacuto Group sales brochure says Pitchers currently provides a “rare combination of scale, multiple bars, inclusivity, and established reputation that provides a unique investment opportunity for any buyer seeking a long-term asset with a loyal and consistent customer base,” suggesting that, similar to other D.C. LGBTQ bars, business has returned to normal with less impact from the Trump related issues.

The sales brochure can be accessed here.

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Alexander Skarsgård describes ‘Pillion’ in 3 words: lube, sweat, leather

Highly anticipated film a refreshingly loving look at Dom-sub life

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Harry Melling and Alexander Skarsgård star in ‘Pillion,’ which premieres in the U.S. on Feb. 6. (Photo courtesy of A24)

Whether you’ve seen him in popular HBO series like “True Blood,” “Succession,” or “Big Little Lies,” the dynamic Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgård has that smoldering gaze that immediately draws viewers in. 

Following in the footsteps of his father Stellan, (who just won the Golden Globe for “Sentimental Value”) the Golden Globe, Emmy, and SAG winner Skarsgård continues to be an actor who is fearless in the roles he takes on. 

That courageousness is evident in Skarsgård’s latest film, the BDSM black comedy “Pillion,”which he also executive produces. He plays Ray, the handsome, hyper-dominant leader of a gay bike gang. The film was written and directed by Harry Lighton, and is based on the 2020 novel “Box Hill,” by Adam Mars-Jones. 

“This was a small film by a first time filmmaker and it wasn’t financed when I read it,”  Skarsgård told journalists at a recent awards news conference. “And I felt that, if I could help in any small way of getting it financed, I wanted to, because I thought it was such an incredible screenplay and I believe in Harry Lighton so much as a filmmaker. And it felt tonally unlike anything I’d ever read. It was such an exciting, surprising read.”

Skarsgård was blown away by the quality of the unconventional script. “When I heard BDSM relationship, biker culture, I expected something very different. I didn’t expect it to have so much sweetness and tenderness and awkwardness.”

For the sex scenes and nudity with co-star, Harry Melling — who excels in his portrayal as Ray’s submissive Colin — Skarsgård talked very early on with Lighton about how he wanted to shoot those scenes, and why they were in the film. 

“I often find sex scenes quite boring in movies because a lot of the tension is in the drama leading up to two people hooking up, or several people hooking up, as in our movie. But what I really enjoyed about these scenes — they are all pivotal moments in Colin’s journey and his development. It’s the first time he gets a blowjob. It’s the first time he has sex. It’s the first time he has an orgasm. And these are pivotal moments for him, so they mean a lot. And that made those scenes impactful and important.” 

Skarsgård was happy that Lighton’s script didn’t have gratuitous scenes that shock for the sake of just shocking. “I really appreciated that because I find that when this subculture is portrayed, it’s often dangerous and crazy and wild and something like transgressive.”

He continued: “I really love that Harry wanted it to feel real. It can be sexy and intense, but also quite loving and sweet. And you can have an orgy in the woods, rub up against a Sunday roast with the family. And that kind of feels real.”

One of the obstacles Skarsgård had to work with was Ray’s emotionally distant personality.

“Ray is so enigmatic throughout the film and you obviously never find out anything about him, his past. He doesn’t reveal much. He doesn’t expose himself. And that was a challenge to try to make the character interesting, because that could easily feel quite flat…That was something that I thought quite a lot about in pre production…there are no big dramatic shifts in his arc.”

For the film, Lighton consulted the GMBCC, the UK’s largest LGBT+ biker club, attending their annual meetup at which 80 riders were present. 

“Working with these guys was extraordinary and it brought so much texture and richness to the film to have them present,” said Skarsgård. “They were incredibly sweet and guiding with us — I can’t imagine making this movie without them. I’d go on a road trip with them anytime.”

Added Skarsgård: “To sum up ‘Pillion’ in three words: lube, sweat, and leather. I hope people will connect with Colin and his journey, and come to understand the nuance and complexity of his bond with Ray.”

This year is shaping up to be a busy one for Skarsgård. “Pillion” premieres in select cities on Feb. 6 and then moves into wide release on Feb. 20. After that for Skarsgård is a role in queer ally Charli XCX’s mockumentary, “The Moment,” which premieres at the Sundance Film Festival. HIs sci-fi comedy series,  Apple TV’s “Murderbot,” which he also executive produces, will begin filming its second season. And this weekend, he hosts “Saturday Night Live.”

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MISTR’s Tristan Schukraft on evolution of HIV prevention

From ACT UP to apps, embracing stigma-free care

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Tristan Schukraft (Photo courtesy of Schukraft)

It was not too long ago that an HIV diagnosis was read as a death sentence. In its earlier decades, the HIV/AIDS crisis was synonymous with fear and loss, steeped in stigma. Over recent years, open conversation and science have come together to combat this stigma while proactively paving the way for life-saving treatments and preventive measures like PrEP. Now, in 2026, with discreet and modern platforms that meet people where they’re at in their lives, HIV prevention has evolved from hushed words of warning into something far more sex-positive and accessible. Game-changing services like MISTR are a testament to this shift, showing our community that healthcare doesn’t have to feel clinical or shaming to work. It can be empowering and, dare I say,  celebratory.

Few people embody this evolution quite like Tristan Schukraft, founder of MISTR. With one hand in healthcare and the other high-fiving through queer nightlife, Schukraft gets that, from the bar to the bedroom and beyond,  prevention happens in person and in real life. His approach has helped turn PrEP, DoxyPEP, and testing into normalized parts of our daily queer life, reaching hundreds of thousands of people across the US.

In our conversation, Schukraft shares candidly about stigma, policy, and why the future of sexual health depends on keeping it real.

BLADE: You have one hand in healthcare and the other in nightlife and queer spaces. Can you share with us how these two spheres impact and inform each other? How do they impact and inform you? 

SCHUKRAFT: Honestly, for me, they’ve never been separate. Nightlife and queer spaces are where people meet, date, hook up, fall in love, and make friends. That’s real life. Being in queer spaces all the time keeps me grounded and reminds me who we’re building MISTR for. 

BLADE: MISTR markets sexual health in a sex-positive, stigma-free fashion. Can you share with us how you measure the impact of this approach? 

SCHUKRAFT: This year, we held the first-ever National PrEP Day.  Dua Lipa performed, and Cardi B was there.  After the event, Cardi B went on her Instagram live to encourage people to sign up for PrEP.  

When you make sexual health stigma-free and sex positive, people talk about it. We see it in how people use the platform. When 700,000 people are willing to sign up, get tested, start PrEP, and add things like DoxyPEP, that tells us we’ve made it feel safe and normal instead of scary or awkward. And then we see it in the results. Since we expanded DoxyPEP, STI positivity among our patients dropped by half.  

BLADE: How have you seen the conversation of sexual health in our LGBTQ+ community change in mainstream culture in recent years? 

SCHUKRAFT: Ten years ago, nobody was casually talking about PrEP, and if they did, it likely referenced one being a Truvada whore. Now it’s part of the culture. Popstars like Troye Sivan post pictures of their daily PrEP pill on social media. Cardi B goes on Instagram Live telling people to get on PrEP.  

For many sexually active gay men, taking PrEP is simply part of the gay experience.  For people in more remote areas, it might not be as talked about. Particularly in rural or more conservative places, MISTR can be a life-changing option. No awkward visits to the family doctor or the local pharmacy where everybody knows your business. It’s all done discreetly online and shipped straight to your door. 

BLADE: You have publicly argued that cuts to government HIV prevention funding are of high risk. Would you please elaborate for us on what those budget decisions mean on an individual level? 

SCHUKRAFT: It means real people fall through the cracks. Someone doesn’t get tested. Someone waits too long to start PrEP. Someone finds out they’re HIV-positive later than they should have. Community clinics will be the hardest hit, especially those in underserved communities. The good news is that MISTR is ready to help people who might lose their access to care. All you need to do is sign up at mistr.com, and it’s totally free with or without insurance. 

BLADE: From your (and MISTR’s) perspective, how do these funding cuts threaten ongoing efforts to end the HIV epidemic? 

SCHUKRAFT: For the first time, we have all the tools to end HIV. If everybody who is HIV negative is taking PrEP and everyone HIV+ is virally suppressed, we can end all new HIV transmissions in the United States.  We have everything we need today.  All we need is to get more people on PrEP. Cutting funding risks losing that momentum. Ending HIV requires scale and consistency. Every time funding gets cut, you lose momentum, trust, and infrastructure, and rebuilding that takes years. 

HIV transmissions don’t pause because budgets change. 

BLADE: In our current climate of decreased federal investment, what role do you feel private healthcare and business should play in sexual health? 

SCHUKRAFT: With reports that the current administration is considering cuts to HIV and prevention funding,  we face a moment of reckoning. At the same time, some employers are seeking to exclude PrEP and HIV prevention from their coverage on religious freedom grounds. If these challenges succeed, and if federal funding is slashed, the consequences for public health will be devastating. But this is where the private sector must step up to fill the gap, bridge divides, and deliver results. 

Businesses have the power and platform to normalize HIV prevention and drive measurable outcomes. At MISTR, we see firsthand what’s possible: since introducing DoxyPEP, STI positivity rates among our patients have been cut in half. But it’s not just about medication. It’s about messaging.  

Our sex-positive, stigma-free marketing speaks directly to our community, making sexual health part of everyday life. No awkward doctor visits, no needles, no paperwork — just free online PrEP and STI testing, prescribed by real physicians and delivered to your door. That kind of impact could grow exponentially if more employers embraced this approach and made HIV prevention part of their employee wellness programs. 

Employers, this is your call to action. Start by making sure your health plans cover PrEP and DoxyPEP. Partner with platforms like MISTR to give employees private, stigma-free access to care. Offer on-site testing. Talk openly about sexual health, not just during Pride, but every day of the year. This is not political — this is about protecting lives, strengthening communities, and building a healthier, more productive workforce. Because healthy employees aren’t just good for public health — they’re good for business. 

When the private sector steps up, outcomes improve. And when businesses align with platforms like MISTR, scaling impact isn’t just possible — it’s happening. 

BLADE: Has MISTR experienced any direct effects from these recent shifts in public health funding? 

SCHUKRAFT: MISTR’s unique model is totally free for patients with or without insurance, and we don’t cost the government or taxpayers a penny. We are scaling up our efforts to reach people who might be losing their access or care. 

BLADE: What would be your message to policymakers who are considering further cuts to HIV/AIDS programs? 

SCHUKRAFT: During his first term, President Donald Trump committed unprecedented resources to the Ending the HIV Epidemic initiative here at home. Bipartisan support has shown what’s possible when bold leadership meets smart strategy. To policymakers: I urge you to reconsider any cuts to HIV prevention funding. This is not the time to pull back. It’s the time to push forward. Ending HIV is within reach — but only if government, private industry, and community organizations stand together. 

BLADE: What is one perhaps overlooked win from last year that impacted you on a personal level? 

SCHUKRAFT: Seeing our STI positivity rate drop by half after expanding DoxyPEP. 

BLADE: Looking at the year ahead, what are MISTR’s most significant priorities for sexual health in 2026? 

SCHUKRAFT: Expanding access, especially in the South and in communities that still get left out. Rolling out injectable PrEP. And just continuing to make sexual healthcare easier and more normal. 

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