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Introducing the Torchbearers Awards honoring queer, trans women and nonbinary people
Meet the Legends and Illuminators lighting new paths
The Torchbearers Awards are more than recognitionโthey are a continuation of legacy. They honor the quiet architects of progress in our community: those who organize, advocate, build, and protect, often without fanfare but always with purpose. Rooted in a belief in intentional recognition, this honor names those who carry our movements forwardโthose who make room for others, who remind us that change is both generational and generative. In a time marked by uncertainty and challenge, these leaders push forward with courage, clarity, and an unwavering commitment to expanding opportunity and equity.
This yearโs honorees reflect the full breadth of our community, spanning generations, backgrounds, identities, and industries. From Legends, with decades of leadership and having created pathways for others, to Illuminators, who are lighting new paths with creativity and innovation, each Torchbearer represents the power of intergenerational leadership and the strength found in our diversity. They are organizers, advocates, artists, policy leaders, healers, and changemakers whose lived experiences shape a shared vision for equity and liberation.
This award is our love letter to queer and trans women and nonbinary people who carry the flame when it would be easier to let it dim. To those who consistently show up, who use their voice and visibility and stand firm, often without recognition, so that others may live more freely and fully. The Torchbearers Awards celebrates not just what has been done, but the enduring spirit, responsibility, and collective care that ensure the work continues, and that the flame is always passed forward.
Co-Creators of the Torchbearers Awards: Shannon Alston, June Crenshaw, Heidi Ellis
Torchbearers Awards Advisory Board: Aditi Hardikar, Lesley Bryant, Jasmine Wilson-Bryant, Stephen Rutgers

ILLUMINATOR AWARDEES
- Representative Sharice Davids (she/her), (D, KS-03)
โ U.S. House of Representatives - Greisa Martinez Rosas (she/her/ella)
โ Executive Director, United We Dream - Paola Ramos (she/her)
โ Journalist & Correspondent - Meagan A. Fitzgerald (she/her)
โ Journalist & Correspondent - Jessica L. Lewis (she/her)
โ Founder / Producer, Play Play DC - Savannah Wade (she/her)
โ Founder, OAR Agency - Suhad Babaa (she/her)
โ Filmmaker/ Former Executive Director of Just Vision - Ashlee Davis (she/her)
โ Global Head of Inclusive Outcomes, Ancestry - Jazmine Hughes (she/her)
โ Journalist and Former Editor at New York Times Magazine - Queen Adesuyi (they/she)
โ Policy Advisor & Organizer, ReFrame Health & Justice - Michele Rayner, Esq. (she/her)
โ Civil Rights Attorney, State Representative (Florida House of Representatives) - Gaby Vincent (she/her)
โ Sports/Cultural Commentator and Community Leader - Jenny Nguyen (she/her)
โ Founder & Owner, The Sports Bra - Denice Frohman (she/her)
โ Independent Artist, Poet / Performer - Vida Rangel (she/her)
โ Founder, Our Trans Capital - Roxanne Anderson (they/them)
โ Executive Director, Our Space - Ann Marie Gothard (she/her)
โ Co-Founder & President, Pride Live (Stonewall National Monument Visitor Center) - Diana Rodriquez (she/her)
โ Co-Founder & CEO, Pride Live (Stonewall National Monument Visitor Center) - Wendi Cooper (she/her)
โ Founder / Executive Director, Transcending Women - Toya Matthews (she/her)
โ City of San Antonio, Texas - Mayor Gina Ortiz Jones (she/her)
โ Sports/Cultural Commentator and Community Leader - Charity Blackwell (she/her)
โ Poet, LGBTQ Advocate & Community Leader - Wilhelmina Indermaur (she/her)
โ Director of Communications, Tyler Clementi Foundation - Em Chadwick (she/her)
โ CMO, For Them & Autostraddle - Kylo Freeman (they/he)
โ CEO, For Them & Autostraddle
LEGEND AWARDEES
- Sheila Alexander-Reid (she/her)
โ Executive Director, PHL Diversity, Philadelphia Convention & Visitors Bureau - Cassandra Cantave Burton (she/her)
โ Interim Director of Thought Leadership & Senior Research Advisor, AARP - leigh h. mosley (she/her)
โ Photographer / Educator, PhotoFlo Photography - Jenn M. Jackson, PhD (they/them)
โ Assistant Professor of Political Science; Author & Columnist, Syracuse University - Jordyn White (she/her)
โ COO, Washington Prodigy / VP of Leadership Development & Research, HRC Foundation - AJ Hikes (they/them)
โ Deputy Executive Director, ACLU - RaeShanda Lias (she/her)
โ Digital Creator, RL Lockhart - Donna Payne-Hardy (she/her)
โ Educator, EEO Specialist, Founder of NBJC, Former Leader at the Human Rights Campaign - Courtney R. Snowden (she/her)
โ Principal, Blueprint Strategy Group - Gaye Adegbalola (she/her)
โ Musician & Activist, Musician / Inductee of the Blues Hall of Fame - Cheryl A. Head (she/her)
โ Independent Author, Novelist (Crime Fiction) - Letitia Gomez (she/her)
โ The American LGBTQ+ Museum, Board Chair - Lynne Brown (she/her)
โ Publisher, Washington Blade - Shay Franco-Clausen (She/Her/Ella/Queen)
โ Political Strategist and Organizer - Melissa L. Bradley (she/her)
โ Founder & Managing Partner, New Majority Ventures - Meghann Burke (she/her)
โ Executive Director, NWSL Players Association - Victoria Kirby York, MPA (she/they)
โ Director of Public Policy & Programs, National Black Justice Collective - Joli Angel Robinson (she/her)
โ CEO, Center on Halsted - Jeannine Frisby LaRue (she/her)
โ CEO, Moxie Strategies - Alice Wu (she/her)
โ Film Director (Saving Face, The Half of It) / Screenwriter - Storme Webber (she/her)
โ Interdisciplinary Artist / Educator, University of Washington - Kim Stone
โ CEO of the Washington Spirit, Washington Spirit - Mickalene Thomas
โ American Visual Artist, Mickalene Thomas Studio - Erika Lorshbough (any/they/she)
โ Executive Director, interACT - J. Gia Loving (she/ella)
โ Co-Executive Director, GSA Network
a&e features
Writing a play about Lincoln leads down a rabbit hole to a closet
As LGBT History Month arrives, new hints that our greatest president was gay
Abraham Lincoln treasured poetry and it turns out his particular favorites were pretty queer, but I never would have detected that if I hadnโt decided to write a stage comedy about his sex life. In my research for the play, I stumbled across what I believe is new evidence that Lincoln and Joshua Speed were lovers. The remarkable thing is that the evidence has been sitting in plain sight for more than 150 years.
The rabbit hole swallowed me in 2019, when C.A. Trippโs revolutionary biography โThe Intimate World of Abraham Lincolnโ somehow fell into my hands. I was embarrassingly late to the Lincoln-was-gay partyโTrippโs book had come out 14 years earlierโand the wonderful-to-me news that Lincoln played for my team started me plotting out a play, because I was pretty sure if I didnโt know this, lots of people didnโt and inquiring minds want to know, and the young queers of America should be told that they have yet another genius over whom to kvell.ย
Historians and myth makers alikeโoften itโs hard to tell the differenceโhave always painted Abe straight, and now that itโs in question theyโve gotten peevish and insistent because, cโmon, bro, everybody knows that in the 19th century all the guys were writing each other gushingly romantic letters and sharing a bed every night for four years. Meanwhile, the Queer Studies crowd assures us that they, the inventors of homosexuality, had not yet invented it, so it couldnโt be that.
But what kind of play to write? I wanted to put at least two of his lovers into it, and no playwright with any sense of drama would omit Abeโs mad, physically abusive, spendthrift wife Mary. To get all of them in the same place at the same time meant bedroom farce. Keeping oneโs lovers from knowing about each other is the keystone of bedroom farce and why the sets have so many doors. Speed, the great love of Lincolnโs life, who often visited the White House during the Civil War, would arrive while Lincolnโs wartime lover Army Captain David Derickson was there, too, and Abe would conceal them from each other and from Mary, who is suspicious and dangerous and prone to striking her husband. I also folded in Lincolnโs writing of the Emancipation Proclamation, which in the play is helped along by an invented Black housekeeper, who has suspiciously 20th-century opinions and a shiny new invention: the animatronic steampunk Lincoln robot. “The Loves of Lincolnโ finally had its world premiere on June 19 of this year in Memphis, Tenn., where it was nominated for the best new original play of the 2025โ26 season, and lost. Now weโre getting to the part about Lord Byron. Wait for it. Itโs coming. Weโre still setting the scene.
A cute, redheaded, gay Broadway producer told me the play would be stronger with a different kind of ending and for once a producerโs note was spot onโthe play needed a final confrontation between Lincoln and Speed over love and slavery. The Speeds had dozens of slavesโlots more than Mary Todd Lincolnโs family, who had a few themselves. To write the scene I needed to know more than I did about the Speed-Lincoln relationship during the war. Speed was helping Lincoln keep the border state of Kentucky in line, but on the other hand his great wealth depended on slavery.
Time for some research. Enter โYour Friend Forever, A. Lincoln: The Enduring Friendship of Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speedโ (2016, Columbia University Press) by Charles B. Strozier, a โpsychobiographerโ who does the usual somersaults to explain away Lincolnโs behavior as straight because writing gushingly romantic letters to other guys and sleeping in the same bed for four years was absolutely not gay in the 19th century, which is proved by the fact that all the guys were doing it. Which kind of made me want to build a time machine and stop off in 19th-century Illinois on my way to ancient Greece. And then, suddenly, sitting there quietly on page 45, like a dangling thread on a cardigan begging to be pulled, was the interesting datum that Joshua lent his gangly, athletic bedmate books, among them Joshuaโs โfavoriteโ: Lord Byron.
The same Lord Byron who cut a swath a kilometer wide across the comely young men of Greece? The notorious libertine and sodomiteโthat Lord Byron? Well, yes, and itโs not hard to draw a line straight from there to Lincolnโs closet (coincidentally, one of the doors in The Loves of Lincoln leads into a closetโโWhy is my husband always in the closet?โ), but for some reason, up to now, no one I know of has drawn that line.
Understand, just reading Byron does not make Josh and Abe homosexuals. Byron was a big seller and lots of straight men read him, though perhaps not while gazing dreamily into each otherโs eyes (Joshuaโs wide and blue, Abeโs a melancholy gray), and OK we donโt know thatโs exactly how it went down, but we do know other interesting things thanks to William Herndon.
Bill was a clerk in Speedโs general store, the store Speed and Lincoln slept above, and later the junior partner in Lincolnโs Springfield law practice. Herndon worshipped Lincoln. After the assassination he interviewed pretty much every significant person in Lincolnโs life, in what Strozier called one of the first oral history projects in America. Naturally, he interviewed Speed, who reported Lincolnโs passion for the poetry of Byron. The sexual significance of the connection between Speed, Byron, and Lincoln has up to now been ignored by all biographersโeven the queer ones, like Tripp, who tried and did make the case for Lincolnโs homosexuality. Speed told Herndon he had introduced Lincoln to Byron: โI don’t think he had ever read much of Byron previous to my acquaintance with him.โ Lord Byronโs poetry was a stew of intense male friendship, forbidden sexuality, secrecy, alienation, and erotic misbehavior, and in the wake of his scandalous divorce his name had for years been a transatlantic byword for transgressive sexuality. Byron also became, alongside Burns, Milton and Shakespeare, one of Lincolnโs four favorite writers.
Hereโs where things get juicy. Speed said that, in particular, โLincoln loved The Bride of Abydos.โ Byron wrote the poem in the wake of his travels through the Ottoman Empire, which was partly what we today would call sex tourism. The poemโs beautiful young hero Selim is extremely feminized, conceals his true identity from his girlfriend (whom everyone thinks is his sister but theyโre cousins), and only later reveals that he has a secret double lifeโin the case of the poem, as the leader of a band of pirates. Now thereโs a secret life with an All-Male Cast. Weโll let you supply the pirate joke that goes right here.
It gets better. Herndonโs admittedly fragmentary notes from the Speed interview also specifically bring up Byronโs โTo Inez,โ the extraordinary lyric in โChilde Haroldโ in which a man tells a woman that her beauty gives him no pleasure, that her eyes scarcely charm him, and that she must not attempt to discover his โsecret woeโ or โunmaskโ his heart. The subtext that leaps off the page, given that Byron was, as the actor Michael Redgrave described himself to his son, โto say the least of it, bisexual,โ is that the speaker is in the closet. In the last stanza, he begs her not to pry:
What is that worst? Nay, do not askโ
In pity from the search forbear:
Smile onโnor venture to unmask Man’s heart,
and view the Hell that’s there.
So, queer-coded Byronic poetry formed an important part of Lincolnโs imaginative world, and Speed remembered that fact nearly 30 years later, and told it to Herndon almost as if leaving literary breadcrumbs for posterity. As far as I have been able to determine, no previous Lincoln biographer or scholar of Lincoln’s sexuality has examined the queer implications of the Byron poems Speed specifically remembered Lincoln reading. Why has this been missed?
All of this would be meaningless if Speed and Lincoln didnโt understand that Byron was a lover of men, but I assert that they would have. Lincoln was a discerning reader with a famously penetrating, tenacious mind that wouldnโt let go of a thing until he understood it thoroughlyโand a huge fund of worldly knowledge. He was by this time in the Illinois Legislature, had campaigned all over the state, and lawyers often encounter the seamy side of life, whether they seek it out or not. Furthermore, although Byronโs indisputable affairs with men werenโt explicitly documented in 19th century biographies and periodicals as they are today (the conventions and laws of the time all but guaranteed euphemism), rumors of Byronโs โunnaturalโ conduct crossed the Atlantic even during his lifetime. Articles repeatedly referred to an unnamed, horrifying, or โunnaturalโ offense, a โpeculiar enormity,โ and conduct violating the โban of nature.โ In 19th century usage, โunnatural crimeโ was a familiar euphemism for sodomy, while phrases like โpeculiar enormityโ and โban of natureโ invited readers to imagine sexual offenses too scandalous to name. Why use the words at all if readers werenโt going to get the point? American readers had easy access to Byron biographies and memoirs, including Thomas Medwinโs “Conversations of Lord Byronโ and Thomas Mooreโs enormously influential โLetters and Journals of Lord Byron,โ while American periodicals discussed the Byron memoir burned by his friends and the salacious suspicions around its contents. Lincoln and Speed would certainly have understood that one of the unmentionable sexual accusations surrounding Byron was man-on-man action.
Lincolnโs love of Byronโs queer-coded writings, fostered by Speed, โprovesโ little on its own, but a lot when added to the rest of the evidence. And itโs part of an even bigger story: reversing the erasure of queerness from history and documenting that many of humankindโs greatest achievements are thanks to queer individuals. Both Lincoln and Speed had beards, literal and metaphoricalโthey didnโt want their secret spilled while they were alive. But then again, I like to think that when Joshua Speed told William Herndon of Lincolnโs love for those poems, he imagined a day when their love could be decoded and celebrated. Come to think of it, that day is today.
a&e features
Acclaimed Chef Patrick OโConnellโs memoir reveals the arc of a life well lived
Overcoming obstacles to serve everyone from Jerry Falwell to Queen Elizabeth
Renowned three-Michelin-star Chef Patrick OโConnell says food and wine hold a unique ability to bring people together. Indeed, he has served everyone from right-wing zealot Jerry Falwell to Britainโs Queen Elizabeth during his decades at the beloved Inn at Little Washington in rural Virginia.
OโConnellโs compelling new memoir, โMain, Middle & Gayโ is out Sept. 15 from Celadon Books and offers a deeply personal account of how he transformed his love of food and affinity for the finer things into an iconic inn and restaurant that draws diners from around the world nearly 50 years after it opened in 1978.ย

OโConnell is launching the book with an event on Sept. 18 at Lisner Auditorium featuring Chef Josรฉ Andrรฉs and former Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema. He met Andrรฉs just after Andrรฉs began to work in D.C. and was โon fire with ideas.โ
โWe sat next to each other at Charlie Trotterโs restaurant and the meal went on for hours and we had a natural rapport,โ OโConnell told the Blade in a recent interview. โThe chemistry will be fun and lively and unpredictable and exciting. I think weโre all different personalities and weโll compliment each other.โ
OโConnell said heโs excited to hold the event at Lisner.
โI studied theater at Catholic University and transferred to GWU so itโs a coming home party and Lisner has been there since I was a kid and it was always like D.C.โs Carnegie Hall. It feels like going home to my old stomping grounds.โ
OโConnell hopes to bring the book to life visually at the event and he has produced a short film that will be screened.
The book traces the self-taught OโConnellโs remarkable journey from rural paperboy and short-order cook to proprietor of one of the worldโs most celebrated restaurants and Relais & Chรขteaux hotels. Along the way we learn about the many challenges he faced โ from distrustful and homophobic local residents in Washington, Va., to an expensive, public โdivorceโ from his longtime romantic and business partner, Reinhardt Lynch.
“It parallels the evolution of American cuisine over 50 years,โ he said. โItโs a rare perspective to be in the trenches for that long.โ
OโConnell writes candidly about his relationship with Lynch. The two opened the restaurant together โ OโConnell running the kitchen and Lynch handling the business. But OโConnellโs accolades and growing notoriety led to jealousy that triggered a protracted falling out and dissolution of both their personal relationship and business partnership. Lynch, as recalled by OโConnell, attempted to secretly sell his 50 percent of the business but ultimately agreed to sell his stake back to OโConnell for a reported $17.5 million. โThe Washington Post ran with it as a salacious celebrity divorce story and included all the financial details,โ he writes.
After taking full control of the Inn just as the recession of 2008 hit, OโConnell writes of the scrutiny of guests who assumed Lynchโs absence would lead to a slip in quality. โThe place couldnโt be just as good as ever. It would have to be better.โ
What happened next proved a royal opportunity as Queen Elizabeth visited Virginia to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the founding of the state and OโConnell was asked to cater a reception. This chapter is filled with juicy details and behind-the-scenes anecdotes about the pressures of cooking for the Queen. The subsequent media attention proved lucrative for the Inn and photos of the Queenโs visit still hang in the Inn.
There are references to OโConnellโs sexual orientation throughout the book and he doesnโt shy from addressing his long relationship with Lynch or the resistance the couple encountered when they settled in sleepy Washington, Va.
โI didnโt realize that I was walking into a prejudiced hornetโs nest that I wasnโt fully prepared for and there was a great deal of hostility in part because they didnโt understand anything about what we were attempting to do here so everything about us and our desire to run a fine restaurant was foreign to them,โ OโConnell told the Blade. โThe irony of a place opening in the center of town of 150 people and at that time the word โgayโ wasnโt used here. It was as if they didnโt have space in their consciousness for such a thing. We were regarded as counter culture people.
โThe restaurant became a success almost overnight and the locals couldnโt understand what the buzz was about,โ OโConnell continued. โThey thought food is food and why would anyone drive 60 miles out here for food. They became resentful of the โoutsidersโ who came. Two outsiders were opening a restaurant and drawing other outsiders out here to a place where there werenโt many jobs. There was resentment on many levels by some โ not all. They thought it would go away.โ
But OโConnell said he never made his sexuality the focus of his work. Rather, he wanted to use food to bring people of all backgrounds together.
โI never made a point or attempted to make that a central focus on my work,โ he said. “I felt that I had found my spot in the universe where I belonged, I loved living here, it was a sanctuary.โ
OโConnellโs insistence that everyone is welcome has sometimes created tension and negative press, as when President Trump presented him with a National Humanities Medal that brought criticism from some progressives.
โWe see a fascinating clientele here; we donโt judge and weโre not political,โ he said. โWhen people come they are entitled to our hospitality.โ
One of those people was televangelist and notorious homophobe Jerry Falwell, who made a reservation at the Inn years ago. OโConnellโs instruction to the staff was to treat Falwell like any other guest.
โWe have an image of someone who maybe we would think would be hostile or judgmental and they often surprise us,โ OโConnell said. โWe held our breath and hereโs Falwell working the tables and saying this is the best meal Iโve ever had, arenโt these two guys great and we thought heโs doing PR for us and heโs supposed to be the devil.โ
OโConnell said he sees that dynamic play out night after night at the Inn. One of the most conservative national Republican figures, he said, is a regular and Vice President JD Vance dined at the Inn recently. Focusing on the food and hospitality for all constitutes OโConnellโs brand of activism.
โFood does bring people together,โ he said. โAnd youโre doing your part in erasing preconceived judgements.โ
He said he and his team did more to advance understanding and acceptance by focusing on hospitality than if โwe were out marching.โ
As evidence, he said, there are more and more gay couples moving to the area and the townโs mayor, Joe Whited, is gay.
โWeโre the biggest employer in the county and largest taxpayer,โ he added. โThe Inn pays the town almost $1 million per year and property values are getting to be like Palm Beach. And that wasnโt a goal it was a byproduct of doing something as well as it could be done.โ
But the book isnโt hagiography. OโConnell revisits traumatic events, like childhood bullies who attacked him for wearing a Little Red Riding Hood costume for Halloween and a sexual assault he endured as a young teenager aboard a bus.
โI donโt know why I couldnโt call out for help or try to make the man stop,โ OโConnell writes of the incident. โI didnโt want to call attention to the situation and felt completely implicated. Once it began there was no stopping it.โ
Interestingly, OโConnell told the Blade that one of the things he learned in writing the book is how little heโs changed since childhood.
โPeople tend to lock away a lot of childhood memories for good reason and in a book youโre reliving them and bringing them to life,โ he said. “And my revelation is that I donโt think Iโve changed much since I was six and I think most peopleโs identity is pretty developed in their very early years and their personality is clear. What amused me most is Iโm doing the same things now that I did in miniature as a five and six year old.โ
As for popular TV shows about the restaurant business, OโConnell says he doesnโt watch them.
โItโs fake,โ he said. โThere are much more colorful characters and itโs much more exciting in real life. Nobody seems capable of capturing that. So maybe this [book] will have the effect of doing that and showing what it takes.โ
OโConnell said the books and stories he most enjoys reading are those that start in childhood and carry through until late in life. He has certainly delivered that in โMain, Middle & Gay,โ a moving, fearless memoir filled with the unexpected and natural drama that revisits a uniquely American life.
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a&e features
The mastery of love
The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner, but in Rehoboth Beach, he has a story entirely his own
The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner. In Rehoboth Beach, Del., he has a life โ and a story โ entirely his own.
My first time with Eric Anderson was hot โ very hot. Before he arrived, I sat waiting, overthinking everything. When he finally appeared in a loose-fitting T-shirt and purple shorts, I understood why he attracts attention. Eric is the kind of man who changes the energy of a room simply by entering it.
After a quick hello, we got right to it. Techno pulsed through the room as Eric told me how to move, where to place my hands, when to breathe. My heart pounded. My muscles ached. I bent, twisted, and stretched while sweat ran down my back and burned my eyes. I didn’t bother wiping it away.
To be clear, Eric and I were not alone. Five other people were with us โ and the yoga studio at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach was heated to 87 degrees.
“If you are always racing toward the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?” Eric asked, opening his power yoga class and inviting us to leave whatever had followed us through the door and surrender to the present. Surrender did not come easily. At 58, I’ve done enough yoga to know the difference between discomfort and imminent death. Halfway through Eric’s relentless flow, the distinction began to blur.
A playlist of techno and remixed pop โ including “Live Like You Were Dyingโ โ carried us from one demanding pose to the next. Eric moved among the mats with the energy of a nightclub DJ and the calm of someone who trusted our bodies to go further than our minds believed possible. Nearly an hour later, when the music softened and I collapsed onto my back in savasana, he laid a cool cloth across my forehead. I exhaled โ relieved, and maybe a little disappointed, that my first time with Eric was over.
At the end of my mat, a handwritten note congratulated me on my first class and invited me back โ a small benediction after the storm. Then Eric closed the class by repeating the question with which he’d opened. For a man whose relationship with actor and singer Billy Porter has drawn him unexpectedly into the public eye, it sounded less like a yoga mantra than a personal creed.
The next time I meet Eric, there is air conditioning and caffeine. We are at Starbucks, where I deliberately order the largest drinks available, as though volume alone might buy me more time. He chooses a matcha, and I order herbal tea. My heart is pounding again, faster than the soft rock drifting from the speakers above us. Although I’ve already spent more than an hour with Eric, I know almost nothing about the man I’m about to interview.
Neither, it seems, does anyone else.
Celebrity outlets offer a handful of biographical details: a Rehoboth Beach teacher and yoga instructor with a master’s degree from Columbia University. Gay publications have been less restrained. One introduced him as Billy Porter’s “total hot stud,” called him “a snacc,” and praised his ability to “rock a Speedo.” Queerty distilled Eric’s identity to five words: “Porter is dating a teacher.”
All of it tells me how the world sees him. None of it tells me who he is.
I know from our text exchanges that Eric is slammed for time. He is scheduled to travel to New York later that day and fly to WorldPride Amsterdam the following afternoon. Billy is among the headliners for the opening-night Unity Concert and is also slated to perform at the Wedding Party XXL alongside KI/KI, Bimini, and the Vengaboys. Eric still has to pack. This, I’m beginning to understand, is part of loving someone famous: there is almost always an itinerary, another city, and a specific time and place Billy needs to be. Even here, with two untouched drinks between us, the clock is ticking.

As soon as we sit down, I open my laptop, ready to get to work. My mind is focused on the list of questions I’ve prepared, and I’ve already anticipated the shape of most of his responses. Then I look up and see Eric sitting perfectly still, smiling, and taking in the moment. He hasn’t even taken a sip of his matcha yet.
I quietly close my laptop and breathe.
Within minutes, the interview softens into a conversation.
Eric earned a bachelorโs degree in history from the University of Delaware and a masterโs in public school leadership from Teachers College, Columbia University. He began his career teaching mathematics before moving into school administration, eventually serving as vice president of the Charter School of Wilmington and head of school at Sussex Academy. Today, he teaches mathematics and social studies in the Cape Henlopen School District. He also coaches soccer and leads yoga classes at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach.
His return to the classroom was deliberate. Eric knows some people assumed there must be a story behind his leaving administrationโthat he had done something wrong or that teaching represented a demotion.
โI want to make it clear that I went back to teaching by choice,โ he says.
As a child, Eric played school. Teaching has always felt natural to him, less like an occupation than an expression of who he is. Administration was different.
โIt felt like work,โ he says. โIt wasnโt where my passion was, and it didnโt bring me joy. Going back into the classroom was simply me choosing joy.โ
The more Eric talks, the clearer it becomes that teaching is not merely a job but a vocation. His mother is white and his father is Black, and growing up biracial was not always easy. โI saw the best and the worst of both,โ he tells me. Those experiences helped shape his desire to become a teacher โ to be the kind of person who could make a meaningful difference in a young personโs life.
Just then, Eric glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with someone across the room. He waves and flashes what is quickly becoming his signature smile. My first thought is that someone has recognized him as Billy Porterโs partner.
Iโm wrong. Itโs one of his former students.
Inevitably, our conversation turns to love โ and to Billy. I’ve made it clear that I’m here to write about Eric, not Billy Porter. But separating the two entirely would be as artificial as defining Eric only by their relationship. Billy is now an essential part of his story.
Eric met Billy at a Christmas party hosted by mutual friends who had been trying to introduce them all night. It wasn’t easy โ the party was crowded, and the two men never quite crossed paths. Eric stayed for the afterparty, where a friend nudged him and nodded toward the room: Billy was looking his way. Romance never crossed his mind.
Eventually, they started talking. Eric has never had much patience for small talk, and he wasn’t interested in cataloging which celebrities Billy knew. He skipped it entirely and went straight for the deeper questions โ what Billy believed, how he saw the world, what mattered to him. They ended up at the kitchen table, trading life philosophies until 5 a.m.
What struck Eric most wasn’t the conversation’s length. It was its depth. Billy wasn’t who he expected. Neither was the conversation. By the time the sun was coming up, Eric was less surprised that they’d talked all night than by how much, it turned out, they had in common.
They had dinner the following evening, and Billy invited Eric to spend the weekend with him in New York. There, Billy took him to see Nicole Scherzinger in “Sunset Boulevard.” Right before the show started, he casually introduced Eric to a friend named Katy. Back in their seats, Eric asked how Billy knew her.
“BITCH,” Billy replied, “that is Miss K-A-T-Y P-E-R-R-Y!”
For all the glamour surrounding their courtship, Eric describes the foundation of their relationship in decidedly spiritual terms. His favorite book is don Miguel Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love, which explores how fear, expectation, and the need for approval can distort relationships. Its philosophy closely resembles Eric’s own.
On the surface, Eric and Billy inhabit different worlds. Eric is a deeply spiritual teacher rooted in a small coastal Delaware town. Billy is a celebrated actor and performer whose larger-than-life persona commands stages around the world. But when I ask Eric how the relationship works, he doesn’t hesitate.
“I know that I can be my authentic self with him, and he can be his with me,” he says. “We love each other unconditionally.”
The words could sound rehearsed. Coming from Eric, they don’t.
The red carpets, famous faces, and international travel are not what matter most.
“It’s all about the people,” he explains. “I love Billy’s family and friends, and he loves mine.”
Authenticity surfaces repeatedly in our conversation โ not as an abstract ideal, but as Eric’s determination to trust what feels right for him, even when other people may not understand it. I tell him about growing up in Pittsburgh and spending much of my life trying to fit the person I was into the person the world expected me to be. Eric listens intently, then pauses before responding.
“Fuck the system.”
It is blunt, funny, and entirely consistent with the man sitting across from me. Dating Billy may have dramatically increased the number of strangers who have opinions about Eric, but it hasn’t increased the number whose opinions matter to him. He is remarkably unconcerned with what people he doesn’t know think โ or say โ about him. The attention is new. His response to it is not.
For Eric, authenticity isn’t about asking the world for permission to be yourself. It’s about deciding that permission was never the world’s to give.
That instinctโto look inward rather than outward for permission โ predates Billy.
Eric initially turned to yoga for a practical reason: he wanted to improve his physical performance on the soccer field. It didn’t take long for him to realize that something else was happening. Yoga was strengthening his body, but it was also grounding him.
Over time, the physical practice became inseparable from the mental one. The poses, the heat, even the strength required to hold his body in place became less important than learning how to quiet the noise around him, stay present, and listen to himself. The man who had pushed me through an hour of sweat and discomfort wasn’t simply teaching people how to move their bodies. He was asking them to practice something he had learned to do himself.
That sense of being grounded has become particularly important in a relationship that often requires two people to live very different lives. Eric is quick to point out that he and Billy have separate careers, separate ambitions, and goals entirely their own. Neither expects the other to abandon an individual life simply because they have chosen to build a relationship together.
When Billy left for London to star in “Cabaret,” distance became part of their routine. They FaceTimed every day, a practice they continue whenever they are apart.
“I tell Billy everything,” Eric says.
Being authentic with Billy doesn’t require the two men to become more alike. If anything, the opposite seems true. They are comfortable following their own career paths, living separate lives when circumstances require it, and giving each other the freedom to pursue what matters individually. Then they come back together โ not because either has put his own life on hold, but because they have chosen to share those lives with each other.
When we finally look at the time, nearly 90 minutes have passed. Eric still needs to pack. New York is waiting, Amsterdam after that, and somewhere there is undoubtedly an itinerary telling Billy exactly where he needs to be and when.
But for a while, neither of us was racing toward the next moment.
We were fully inside the one we were in.
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