Living
Fasting: a holistic approach
24-hour, three-day or week-long fasts yield bounty of benefits
Most people who are basically fit but have gained and lost the same 10 pounds over and over know those last 10 are often the hardest to lose. If you have a lot of weight to lose and get serious about eating right and exercising, you can drop a lot of weight fairly quickly.
It gets doubly frustrating, then, when you’re used to that pace, but so close to your goal you hit a wall. Stymied by plateaus, last year I decided to experiment with intermittent fasting and researched it from a variety of perspectives.
The best overall resource I found was “The Complete Guide to Fasting: Heal Your Body Through Intermittent, Alternate-Day and Extended Fasting” (2016) by Jason Fung and Jimmy Moore. As the title suggests, there are multiple ways to fast. Merely skipping a meal or skipping two (basically 24-hour fasting) yield health benefits but they expand significantly the longer you fast.
The gist of the book is two-fold: 1. millions of years of evolution resulted in natural selection that is wildly out of whack with the way most of us in the U.S. live today. Our bodies learned to store fat for periods when it was usually a long time between meals, a fact of life in the hunter-gatherer societies of yore. But with less than 200 years behind us since the Industrial Revolution ended, our bodies haven’t caught up to the modern, often sedentary jobs and lives we lead today.
Fast food is ubiquitous, Sheets MTO is 24-7, food courts offer mostly unhealthful options (eating healthfully takes creativity and major proactivity!) and yeah, Whole Foods may have lots of healthful options, but you’d have to make six figures to buy lunch there everyday. So fasting — their second main point — is actually one of the fastest, simplest approaches one can take.
Fung and Moore also write that many illnesses and maladies can be improved with intermittent fasting, from cancer to arthritis to heart disease and more. Big pharma has conditioned us to seek meds for our ailments when often the simplest approach is to simply fast. It’s also the big secret the $72 billion U.S. weight loss industry doesn’t want you to think too much about. Simply stop shoving garbage into your mouth for a few days or a week and the need for a fancy weight loss program disappears.
“The Complete Guide” is thorough, authoritative and medically sound and walks you through the pros and cons of fasting for any length of time.
It also takes a lot of the fear out. If you’ve never fasted, you tend to imagine hunger pangs gradually increase in frequency and intensity until you’re ready to devour anything in sight like a crazed person. But it’s not like that at all. It’s much more akin to a busy work day where you didn’t have a chance to think about lunch until 4 p.m., then realized you weren’t nearly as famished as you’d have thought. Hunger comes and goes in waves during a longer fast (three days or more) and actually gets less bothersome once you’ve worked through the first missed meal. Keep busy and you’ll be surprised how relatively easy it is.
The downside of the book, which gets rather old by the end, is that its authors are huge advocates of the ketogenic diet. Practically every other page features some sort of keto plug. The nice thing about fasting is if you’re on keto already, fasting dovetails beautifully with it (you’ll automatically be in a ketogenic state after a couple days of fasting). I’ve tried keto, though (mostly because this book acts like it’s the best thing ever), and it’s just too restrictive for me for any kind of long-term plan. That said, though, “The Complete Guide to Fasting” is a great starting resource.
A fun read but not a very accurate depiction of fasting is a 2013 first-person article from GQ called “How the Terrible, Insufferable Six-Day Water Fast Made Me a New Man” by Phillip Toledano. It’s online if you wanna look it up. He writes wittily but basically does everything wrong. First, he spends his fasting week at a health center for monitoring (totally unnecessary unless you have serious medical issues going into it), tries to curtail his boredom by watching the Food Network (No! Keeping your mind occupied with non-food stuff is the best recipe for fasting success) and writes of severe headaches, restlessness and foul moods.
I had almost the total opposite reaction — I was astounded at how not a big deal it was once I got my mind off food. I won’t say it was a breeze (I’ve done two, one-week-long fasts) — I was counting down the days toward meal time for sure, but not because I was in agony or even that I was that hungry. I just missed the sensory pleasure of chewing and tasting food more than that I was extremely hungry. So take that article with a grain of salt.
I was also curious to explore fasting from a religious perspective. Those stubborn last 10 pounds were my main impetus, but if I could get some spiritual benefit too, why not? Jentezen Franklin in his book “Fasting: Opening the Door to a Deeper, More Intimate, more Powerful Relationship with God” draws a line between supposed original sin (the temptation was food!) to Christ’s period of a 40-day fast and the yin and yang of that juxtaposition in religious history. By the way, ever notice the figure on a crucifix never has love handles?; Of course diet then was vastly different from the sugar-laden garbage that passes for processed food in the U.S. today.
It’s from a pentecostal publisher that has produced some rather dubious (albeit bestselling) titles like “The Faith of George W. Bush,” so proceed with caution. While LGBT topics aren’t addressed, Franklin’s church (and its ilk) is not LGBT-affirming. His basic thesis, though, is that fasting is one component of three (along with giving and praying) that gets you to a higher spiritual plane than you previously thought possible. The weight loss is a bonus.
Fasting for spiritual reasons has components in other faiths as well which are addressed briefly in “The Complete Guide.”
Dear Michael,
I’ve been dating Mark for three years, living together for two, and I’m not sure he’s for me. We get along great but I’m questioning how attracted I am to him.
I was never crazy about him physically but he was such a sweet and smart guy that I wanted to date him.
Sex was never mind-blowing and the longer we’ve been together the more this is bothering me. I wonder if I could find someone who appeals to me more, physically.
On the plus side, I like him a lot. He has good values, shares my religious faith, which is hard to find in another gay guy, is responsible and has a good work ethic. Also, I just have fun with him and he’s always interested to hear what’s on my mind. He’s an all-around decent guy.
As I’m writing this, I’m thinking that he seems great and that I’m a fool for even questioning our relationship. But all my friends are always talking about the amazing sex they are having, and then I think I’m missing out on a key part of life because my sex life is comparatively lackluster.
I don’t want to settle. But how likely am I to find another guy who is as all-around a good catch as Mark, but with more sexual chemistry?
Michael replies:
I don’t think the right approach is to wonder about your chances for of finding someone better. Anyone you find will have things you aren’t crazy about.
For example, you might find someone whom you’re wildly attracted to sexually, but they’ll bore you or annoy you, or have values you don’t respect.
I understand that you aren’t wildly sexually attracted to Mark. The truth is that it’s extremely unlikely that you would remain wildly sexually attracted to anyone for that long. People tend to get used to each other over time. Sex can remain great, but more from closeness and love than heat and sizzle.
I work with people all the time who wonder if there is someone “better” out there. And I tell them, they’re never going to get through all the possibilities before they die. Instead, how about thinking if the guy you are with is someone you’d like to go with on this journey through life?
Mark’s attributes that you mention sound wonderful to me. After more than 30 years working with folks on relationships, and being in my own 30+ year relationship, I have learned a thing or two about what creates a relationship that is satisfying and good. A decent, kind guy with admirable values is an excellent start.
The question is, can you live with your sex life not being on an orgasmically hot mind-blowing level? I hope the answer is yes, because sex with anyone you pick is not likely to stay in that sort of realm for long.
Another point to consider: I don’t think you should get too caught up in what your friends are telling you. They may be having amazing sex, but are they all having it with the same long-term partner? As I mentioned, long-term sex can be great, but the excitement tends to be replaced by caring connection over time.
I’ll generalize here for a moment: Because so many gay men have many sexual partners, the kind of sex you have with someone new, whom you’re tremendously attracted to, tends to be glorified among gay men as the gold standard of sex. But it’s not realistic for sex with a long-term partner.
This glorification is a big problem: It leaves gay men who are not having torrid sex with lots of guys feeling like there is something wrong with the sex they are having, that they are missing out on something super fantastic. Just like you are feeling.
If you want a lifetime of ongoing hot sex, I don’t think you should be looking for a relationship. If you are willing to accept sex being a not-always fantastic, but perhaps consistently loving, often good, and occasionally great part of life with a kind decent guy, then Mark might just be the right partner for you after all.
(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, New York, and all PSYPACT states. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)
Real Estate
Does Pride decor resemble Trump’s design aesthetic?
Glitter, gold, and rejecting the idea that a home should be understated
Interior design is often a balancing act between taste, personality, and restraint. Sometimes, however, restraint leaves the building entirely. Such is the case when the colorful exuberance of gay Pride-inspired decorating collides with the famously excessive decorating style associated with the current occupant of the White House. The result can be a fascinating study in maximalism, spectacle, and unapologetic visual overload.
Donald Trump’s personal decorating style has long been a subject of debate among designers and critics. Admirers see luxury and grandeur. Critics see something else: a dizzying display of gold leaf, marble, mirrors, crystal, and oversized furnishings that often crosses the line from elegant into what many designers would call tacky. More is rarely enough. If one chandelier sparkles, three are better. If a room has gold accents, why not make every available surface gold? (See Oval Office and ballroom rendition for details.)
In many ways, this excess shares common ground with certain Pride celebrations. Pride has never been about blending into the background. It celebrates visibility, self-expression, individuality, and joy. Rainbow colors, dramatic costumes, glitter, flamboyant artwork, and bold statements have long been part of Pride culture. Yet there is an important difference. Pride’s extravagance is often playful, self-aware, and rooted in personal expression, while Trump’s aesthetic has frequently been criticized for equating luxury with sheer quantity and visual intensity.
Combining these influences creates an interior that could best be described as “glamorous chaos.”
Imagine entering a living room in which gold-trimmed mirrors stretch from floor to ceiling. Crystal chandeliers hang above a bright rainbow velvet sectional. Marble floors gleam beneath metallic furniture that appears determined to reflect every available light source. Pride flags become framed artwork surrounded by ornate gold moldings. A room designed this way doesn’t whisper. It shouts.
Color is central to the concept. Pride-inspired interiors often embrace the full spectrum of colors. Trump’s style, meanwhile, traditionally favors cream, gold, black, and glossy finishes. Combining them means introducing vivid jewel tones against a backdrop of faux-palatial luxury. Emerald green chairs, ruby-red draperies, sapphire-blue accent walls, and gold-trimmed furniture can coexist in a way that feels deliberately theatrical.
The key word is theatrical.
Many professional designers spend years learning how to create visual balance. A Pride-meets-Trump interior intentionally ignores many of those rules. Pattern competes with pattern. Shine competes with shine. Artwork competes with furniture. The eye rarely gets a chance to rest. For some homeowners, that sounds exhausting. For others, it sounds like the perfect party.
Lighting offers another opportunity to embrace excess. Crystal chandeliers, mirrored lamps, illuminated shelves, and color-changing LED lighting can transform a room into something resembling a cross between a luxury hotel lobby and a Pride festival. The goal is not subtlety. The goal is spectacle.
A dining room inspired by this combination might feature a massive glass table, gold dining chairs, rainbow floral arrangements, mirrored walls, and enough crystal accessories to keep a polishing cloth busy year-round. Critics would call it gaudy. Fans would call it fabulous.
Artwork becomes particularly important. Pride-themed pieces featuring LGBTQ+ history, activism, and culture can provide meaning beneath the decorative excess. Without these personal and cultural elements, the room risks becoming little more than a collection of expensive looking, but not necessarily expensive, objects. Pride design can work best when it reflects identity and community rather than simply displaying color for color’s sake.
While normally a haven for restful sleep, bedrooms can take a similar approach. Plush velvet fabrics, oversized tufted headboards, metallic and mirrored finishes, colorful accent lighting, and dramatic artwork create a space that feels more like a boutique hotel suite than a traditional bedroom. Again, the challenge is avoiding the temptation to add one more decorative element to an already crowded visual landscape.
What makes this design combination interesting is that both aesthetics reject the idea that a home should be understated. Both embrace visibility. Both invite attention. Both encourage occupants to take up space unapologetically. Yet where Pride design often celebrates authenticity and self-expression, Trump’s decorating style is frequently criticized for prioritizing conspicuous luxury over cohesion and refinement.
The result is an interior style that many people would consider delightfully outrageous and others would consider a decorating nightmare. Either way, nobody is likely to forget it.
In the end, a Pride-inspired interpretation of Donald Trump’s famously over-the-top aesthetic would be colorful, glittering, excessive, and impossible to ignore. It would break nearly every rule of minimalist design while embracing the philosophy that if something is worth doing, it is worth overdoing. Whether one sees that as fabulous or tacky may depend entirely on how much gold leaf and rainbow velvet one can tolerate in a single room.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed associate broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Ragtops rock! For drivers looking to carve their own lane, the world already has enough sensible crossovers, minivans, and pickups. These three convertibles trade practicality for sunshine, wind, and the occasional wild-hair day.
BMW Z4
$58,000
MPG: 25 city/33 highway
0 to 60 mph: 5.2 seconds
Trunk space: 10.0 cu. ft.
PROS: Strong engines. Uber comfy. Stylish.
CONS: Expensive. Final year of production.
Act fast, Bimmer fans, this is the last year the BMW Z4 roadster will be produced. Along with the entry-level xDrive30i and high-performing M40i, there is a Final Edition model.
Since 2002, the Z4 has expertly balanced performance, comfort, and style. The long hood and short rear deck still look fantastic. The stance is athletic. And with the top down, this car gains an extra dose of drama.
Under the hood, BMW offers turbo power that feels eager rather than overwhelming. Acceleration is brisk. The steering precise. The chassis composed.
Upgrading to the premium models lets you scoot from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.9 seconds. But—ka-ching!—the MSRP soars to $79,000.
Available in manual or automatic transmissions, this convertible can sprint through mountain roads on Saturday and soothingly devour highway miles on Sunday.
As for the interior, it blends luxury and functionality. Materials feel expensive. Controls are easy to use. And the seats are supportive.
For me, other ragtops may be more party hearty, but the Z4 is low-key, impeccably tailored and still the center of attention. Think suave James Bond versus sparkling RuPaul.
MAZDA MX-5 MIATA
$32,000
MPG: 26 city/35 highway
0 to 60 mph: 5.5 seconds
Trunk space: 5.0 cu. ft.
PROS: Nimble. Lightweight. Affordable.
CONS: So-so power. Wind noise. Limited space
For decades, the Mazda MX-5 Miata has followed a simple formula: Keep it light, keep it balanced and make every drive feel special. The result: Automotive comfort food that never gets old.
Many vehicles grow larger every year, but the Miata has remained Lilliputian in a way that feels rebellious. You sit low. The controls are user-friendly. Visibility is excellent.
No, the engine power won’t blow you away. But this beachcomber isn’t about brute force. It’s about how the Miata makes you feel wonderfully alive, whether tootling along city streets or a winding road.
Inside, the dashboard is sparse but echoes a traditional sports car. Large analog tachometer and analog speedometer. And while the 8.8-inch infotainment display is dinky, it works nicely.
Alas, storage is limited. The cabin is snug. And taller drivers may wish for a bit more room.
Yet somehow even those compromises feel almost charming. This ride knows exactly what it is and refuses to apologize. Sort of like showing up to Pride wearing what makes you happy rather than chasing trends.
MINI COOPER
$27,000
MPG: 28 city/39 highway
0 to 60 mph: 7.9 seconds
Trunk space: 5.2 cu. ft.
PROS: Playful styling. Fun handling. Extra stowage.
CONS: Ride can be firm. Not a speed demon.
Mini Coopers approach life with a wink and a grin. Rounded headlights. Compact dimensions. Cheerful styling. It all works to create a vehicle that looks like it’s having fun before you’ve even started the engine.
Driving this ragtop is equally entertaining. The steering is quick, and the chassis feels eager to please. Overall performance is lively rather than blistering.
The cabin leans heavily into Mini’s playful design language. Circular elements appear throughout. Details feel intentionally quirky. Many modern interiors seem created by committees that fear excitement. This cabin feels designed by someone who enjoys color, personality and perhaps spontaneous dance breaks.
Unlike the BMW Z4 and Mazda Miata, the Mini offers a small rear seat. “Small” is doing some heavy lifting there, but the extra space adds flexibility. It may not be enough room to comfortably squeeze in friends, but you can easily stow a few bags here.
To me, driving this convertible feels like attending the world’s friendliest block party. People notice it. People smile. Sometimes people even wave.
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PHOTOS: Capital Pride Festival and Concert
