Connect with us

Living

Students need to see themselves in what they read

Inclusive curricula and policies benefit all learners

Published

on

GLSEN, gay news, Washington Blade
inclusive curricula, Frederick County School Board, transgender students, gay news, Washington Blade
Studies have shown that creating welcoming inclusive environments, curriculum and policies benefits all student learners and helps them understand the world around them, strengthen critical thinking and respectful behavior.

Schools and communities should be places where students and families feel welcomed safe and supported by all adults responsible for their success and well-being. Many communities  and schools across the country are reporting an increase in hate speech and bias, xenophobia, racism, sexism, anti-LGBT, anti-immigrant, and anti-semitism. In the last few weeks alone there have been several reported incidents of hate speech and bias in the media.

This is why the new bill that requires New Jersey middle and high school students to be taught the political, economic and social contributions of notable disabled persons and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people throughout history that Gov. Murphy signed is so important. That is why diversifying curriculum and visibility are so important. This new bill joins earlier bills that created the Amistad Commission, which requires New Jersey schools to incorporate African-American history into social studies curriculum and the Holocaust Commission, which requires New Jersey schools to teach responsibly about the Holocaust. The State of New Jersey is showing students of multiple, diverse and complex identities that they matter and that adults care about their well-being.

Students need to see themselves in what they read, across the curricula, in hallways, classrooms, the cafeteria and playground, and in caring adults, teachers, leaders and policymakers who mirror and reflect our diverse student populations and communities. Studies have shown that creating welcoming inclusive environments, curriculum and policies benefits all student learners and helps them understand the world around them, strengthen critical thinking and respectful behavior. A new report from the Trevor Project showed that one caring adult can save a LGBTQ young persons life and decrease the chance of a suicide attempt by 40%. Visibility matters. Words matter. Actions matter. That is why it is important that schools, communities and elected officials can and should work together to create welcoming inclusive safer schools for all students and families.  

Every student benefits when fellow students feel safe and valued and when students learn about themselves and each other. No one should have to work or go to school where they are subject to prejudice, bullying, bias or harassment. No one should feel unwelcome or unsafe because of who they are, who they love or what they believe.  It is up to us ā€“ all of usā€“ to ensure that we are creating inclusive welcoming safer schools and communities for all students to thrive inside and outside of the classroom. We need teachers, leaders and policy makers that recognize all students diverse needs and challenges and who embrace their role as a leading voice that lifts up and empowers student voices of all backgrounds, faith, origins, abilities, income or identity ā€“ especially our most vulnerable and marginalized student voices.  

That is why it will take a whole-community approach across a continuum to assist school leaders, educators, stakeholders, parents and students and having courageous conversations around cultural responsiveness, bias and equity. We all have a shared responsibility and an important role to play in maintaining and building a safe, welcoming and affirming learning environment for all our students. Hate speech, bias and discrimination impact all students; thatā€™s why we must call out hate speech and bias whenever we see it or hear it. We must condemn all forms of hate speech and violence and denounce expressions of hate and bias in our classrooms and communities. 

Perhaps even more importantly, as adults we must look at how are we modeling behavior, actions and expectations ā€“ how are we are modeling and building a positive respectful welcoming environment in which students of all identities are lifted up, and every aspect of a whole-child is valued. Together we can create inclusive safe schools for all students and families.

To the youth of every religion or faith, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, ability or disability, economic status, race or ethnicity, culture, place of origin, home language, immigration status: You matter. You are loved. You are not alone. You are welcome here.Ā 

Shannon Cuttle is a nationally recognized safe schools leader, policymaker, and educator. They also are the first openly non-binary person elected in New Jersey and serve on the South Orange ā€“ Maplewood Board of Education. The views here expressed are solely their own and do not represent the SOMSD Board of Education or any institution.

Advertisement
FUND LGBTQ JOURNALISM
SIGN UP FOR E-BLAST

Real Estate

Donā€™t procrastinate buying your home

Some experts predict rates will fall in June

Published

on

Spring is in the air and itā€™s a great time to buy a new home.

As springtime fills the air, cherry blossoms are blooming, much of the year still lies ahead and many have started to think about how they are progressing with their 2024 goals. If the dream of buying a house was put on hold when the interest rates went from 3% to almost 8%, and life got in the way of an idea that had gotten onto your to-do list, maybe now is the time to dust it off. 

Mortgage lender Tina Del Casale from Sandy Spring Bank says, ā€œThere is still hope the Fed will be happy with inflation numbers by June to finally pull the trigger on lowering interest rates.ā€  

The rates might not be as low as they were in 2021, but historically, they are still not as high as they were 20 years ago. Some peopleā€™s parents remember getting interest rates that were 12%, 14% or even higher.   

One of the biggest questions I get at homebuyer seminars is about is the process. What is buying a house ACTUALLY like?  I usually tell them that itā€™s like anything else. One step at a time. One form at a time. One bank transfer at a time. One house showing at a time. One home inspection at a time. If you have the wherewithal to plan a vacation, you can buy a house. 

  • Finding a Realtor
  • Finding a lender to get pre-approved (how much is your budget and what is a comfortable monthly payment)
  • Are there any first-time buyer programs that could be used? Is there down payment assistance?
  • Looking at the houses.
  • Finding one you like, and putting an offer together:
    • An offer usually involves a sales contract, any special forms that the jurisdictions require (lead-based paint acknowledgements, what appliances and systems in the house are included/excluded, if the home is part of a homeowners association, or a condo association, etc.)
    • Any forms related to getting an inspection done.
    • Who is selling the house, who is buying the house, how much is it being sold for, where it is exactly, and who are the others involved in the transaction (title company, agents, etc.)?
  • Getting any inspections done.
  • Negotiating any changes in the sales price or terms, or credits for inspection items.
  • Getting the final approval for the loan and then going to settlement.

Many people get interested in buying a house, but the ā€œunknownā€ of it all can be daunting. It could be that the best way to think about it, is that like most things in life, you canā€™t cross every bridge BEFORE you get there. You just take it one day at a time. Some things will be surprisingly easy. Some things will require the advice of experienced lenders, Realtors, home inspectors and title attorneys.  

But if the process doesnā€™t begin somewhere, somehow, the idea just stays in oneā€™s head in the ā€œto do listā€ file.  And then 3 years go by, 5 years go by, 7 years go by. And your friends that DID buy a house laugh themselves to the bank when they go to sell the house they bought 3 years ago, 5 years ago, or 7 years ago.

If you need any recommendations for a local lender or Realtor, please donā€™t hesitate to ask.

Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at [email protected] or 703-587-0597.

Continue Reading

Advice

Giving up drinking is killing our relationship

What happens when one partner is sober and the other isnā€™t

Published

on

Iā€™m a 38-year-old guy, was single for most of my 30s, which I didnā€™t like at all, and I finally met a great guy last Memorial Day Weekend. 

Until New Yearā€™s I would have said that everything was going great. I was on Cloud Nine. Eric is kind, handsome, smart, and a great catch.

But in December he decided to do ā€œDry January.ā€ It was kind of on a whim I think. We were out with some friends and one of them said he was not going to drink at all for the month of January.Ā He thought alcohol was playing too big a role in his life so he wanted to see what life would be like without it. Another friend said he would do it too, and then Eric said he would.

I wish we hadnā€™t gone out that night and then this whole thing wouldnā€™t have happened.

So, as the month progressed, Eric started talking more and more about how much better he was feeling without alcohol in his body or his life.

I donā€™t think we drank that much pre-January. Yes, weā€™d have something to drink every time we went out, with friends or just together, but not to excess.

At some point, Eric started saying that he wasnā€™t really enjoying going out with our friends, as he wasnā€™t drinking and they were (except the two friends who were also doing the Dry January thing). This meant Iā€™d either go out without him (which I didnā€™t like) or weā€™d stay home, or go out just the two of us. But then if Iā€™m drinking and heā€™s not, it just feels awkward. He hasnā€™t said anything but I feel like heā€™s judging me whenever I have a drink.

I was hoping heā€™d relax about the whole thing at the end of the month but now heā€™s decided he doesnā€™t want to drink anymore at all.

To make matters worse, he says that the month made him think more about the big role alcohol plays in his life (his words) and he has started going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

So where does this leave me? I do want to keep drinking. Iā€™m just a social drinker and I donā€™t have a problem with alcohol. I think it adds a fair amount of fun to my life. Plus, all my friends drink (including the two who did Dry January) and itā€™s a big part of our socializing. If you donā€™t drink when everyone else is drinking, itā€™s really not fun and it feels weird.

At this point Eric doesnā€™t go out with the friend group we were going out with because he doesnā€™t have a good time as the only non-drinker. (I get it, thatā€™s one of the reasons I drink when my friends are drinking.) So I go out sometimes without him, which as I mentioned doesnā€™t feel so good, and which I donā€™t think is great for our relationship; or I donā€™t go out with my friends, which I donā€™t like.

I love Eric and I could see us having a great life together but his not drinking has opened what feels like a chasm between us.

How do couples handle this situation, where one person wants to stop drinking and the other does not? The impact is seeming increasingly huge to me and I donā€™t see how to make it stop being a divisive problem.

Michael replies:

I donā€™t think that Ericā€™s sobriety needs to be a divisive problem, if you can tolerate that you donā€™t get to have your life with Eric be exactly as you would like. 

This is the same dilemma that everyone in a serious relationship must face. Our partners are always different from us in some important ways, even if it doesnā€™t seem that way at first. And we have to figure out how to live with these differences, contentedly for the most part.  Our partners face the same challenge. 

Of course, not every difference can be (or should be) resolvable. For example, if one person is determined to parent and the other person is determined to be child-free, it makes great sense to part ways ā€” unless one person decides theyā€™d rather stay with their partner than have it their way.  

You and Eric have to figure out if your differences around alcohol are a deal-breaker, or if you can find a way to build a solid relationship, even as you drink socially and he is sober.

Whether and how you do this are for the two of you to figure out.  That said, here are some ideas for your consideration: 

  • Can you accept Ericā€™s not joining you for some or even many of your social activities?
  • Can you and Eric talk about what might help him be more comfortable joining your friends now and then?
  • Can you ask Eric what itā€™s like for him when you are drinking, rather than assuming that he is judging you? (Important question for your consideration: What led you to make that assumption rather than asking him?)
  • If Eric is making friends in Alcoholics Anonymous, would you want to join him at times when he socializes with them? 

The main ingredients here are generosity, flexibility, collaboration, and curiosity.

Speaking of curiosity, rather than wishing that the two of you had missed that invitation to participate in Dry January, how about being curious about Ericā€™s decision to stop drinking? I suspect that your dismissiveness has a negative impact on his desire to be close to or confide in you. If you are curious about this important life change that Eric is undertaking, you will certainly learn a lot about your boyfriend, and likely deepen your connection.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online atĀ michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it toĀ [email protected].

Continue Reading

Real Estate

Down payment strategies: Financing your home purchaseĀ 

Understanding the options key to unlocking the door to a dream home

Published

on

Looking for your dream home? First, you need to understand how to make the down payment.

Navigating the path to homeownership can be a complex journey, especially when it comes to accumulating the necessary down payment. For members of our LGBTQ community, understanding the available options for saving and financing this crucial aspect of home buying is key to unlocking the door to their dream home. Let’s explore effective methods and resources specifically designed to support LGBTQ individuals on their path to homeownership.

Traditional Savings Strategies

Saving for a down payment often begins with traditional methods such as setting aside a portion of your income into a dedicated savings account. High-yield savings accounts and automated savings plans, some offering up to 5% interest in today’s market, can expedite the process, providing a disciplined approach to accumulate funds over time. Additionally, exploring investment opportunities that match your risk tolerance can offer potential growth for your down payment savings.

Down Payment Assistance Programs

A variety of down payment assistance programs exist to help homebuyers with their initial costs. These programs often offer grants or low-interest loans to first-time homebuyers or those who haven’t owned a home in the past three years. 

It’s essential to speak with a GayRealEstate.com agent to determine what programs may be available, plus online research into local and state assistance programs, as many are designed to support individuals in specific communities, including the LGBTQ+ community.

For medical professionals, police, teachers, firefighters, and other community heroes, there are several special loan and assistance programs designed to help with home purchases, often offering benefits like down payment assistance, reduced closing costs, and more favorable loan terms.

The Hero Home Loan Program provides first responders, including police officers, firefighters, and paramedics, with benefits such as lower interest rates and reduced closing costs. This program aims to make homeownership more accessible by offering more flexible credit score requirements and down payment assistance .

For educators, firefighters, law enforcement officers, and medical professionals, the Everyday Hero Housing Assistance Fund (EHHAF) offers closing cost assistance through gift funds. This program is designed to support those who serve their communities by making homeownership more affordable, with no repayment required for the grant fundsā€‹ā€‹.

The HUD Good Neighbor Next Door Program offers up to 50% off the list price of homes for law enforcement officers, pre-Kindergarten through 12th-grade teachers, firefighters, and emergency medical technicians. This initiative aims to encourage community revitalization by assisting these professionals in homeownership within the communities they serveā€‹ā€‹.

Homes for Heroes provides assistance specifically to first responders and offers significant savings through Hero Rewards when buying, selling, or refinancing a home. On average, participants save $3,000, with the program offering real estate and mortgage specialist connections tailored to the needs of first respondersā€‹ā€‹.

LGBTQ-Friendly Lending Options

Finding a lender that understands and supports the unique needs of our LGBTQ community can make a significant difference. Some lenders and organizations specialize in offering inclusive financial products and resources to assist LGBTQ+ homebuyers. These may include specialized mortgage products, financial planning services, and guidance through the home buying process.

The journey to homeownership is a milestone that requires careful planning and support. Remember, every step taken towards saving and financing your home purchase brings you closer to the dream of homeownership.

(GayRealEstate.com offers valuable resources and advice tailored to meet the unique needs of our LGBTQ+ community in their journey towards homeownership. For more comprehensive guidance and support in navigating the home buying process, visit GayRealEstate.com choose an agent and start a no-obligation conversation today.)

Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at [email protected].

Continue Reading
Advertisement
Advertisement

Sign Up for Weekly E-Blast

Follow Us @washblade

Advertisement

Popular