Local
Anniversary for marriage
One year after the first same-sex couples wed in D.C., all eyes are on Maryland
Candy Holmes (left) and Darlene Garner on their wedding day last March. (Blade file photo by Michael Key)
As the battle over marriage equality in Maryland reaches its endgame, the sparks it throws are reflected in the lives of real people, including a married couple wed just next door in Washington on the first day the D.C. same-sex marriage law went into effect in March of 2010.
Residents of Bowie, Md., one of the three couples wed with fanfare at the Human Rights Campaign headquarters on March 9, 2010 — Candy Holmes and Darlene Garner — looked back this week at the struggles to win equality in D.C. and the continuing efforts in Maryland.
“In retrospect, it’s been a mixed year,” Holmes says. “Because it was a great year to be married in D.C. in my hometown and Darlene’s adopted city, really it was a year of a piece of heaven, once we got through the murky waters that it might be taken away by the courts. It was the realization of something long desired by us, to be married, and legally acknowledged so, to the love of my life.”
“But when we come back to where we live, in Maryland, where our marriage is not recognized, the struggle goes on because we were free to be married in D.C., but we are not free to be married in Maryland — yet.”
Holmes and Garner — who dated on and off for 14 years before getting married — are both ordained ministers in the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), a liberal, mostly gay Christian denomination — and now they are determined to see the blessings afforded to them by marriage become theirs by right also where they live.
“We have so much enjoyed the last 12 months as a married couple,” Garner says. “We have been completely embraced by our extended and blended families — children, grandchildren, even great-grandchildren, cousins — and I will be eternally grateful to the D.C. government elected officials, and also remain hopeful that the elected officials in my home state will follow the example set in our national capital.”
When Garner and Holmes boast of their blended, extended family, they are not talking idly. Garner is the mother of four, grandmother of seven and great-grandmother of three, the eldest of whom is now 3 years old.
Holmes considers Garner’s offspring hers too.
The giddiness and hoopla from a year ago now long since subsided, how do they assess what marriage equality means to them today? Once they were married, “there’s been a big difference at work,” says Holmes, who has worked as a manager in the federal government’s GAO (now called the Government Accountability office) for 34 years. “It shows up in how people greet me and treat me, the respect and regard from others.”
Statistics from D.C. Superior Court’s Marriage Bureau show a surge of weddings in the District, more than double the number from the prior year, March 2009-March 2010.
Those numbers — 6,604 marriages in D.C. from March 3, 2010, when the same-gender right to marry, enacted in December 2009, went into effect, through March 2, 2011 — vaulted over the number from the prior year, when only 3,101 couples applied for marriage licenses in D.C.
The city doesn’t track how many straight couples there were versus same-sex couples, but the court attributes the spike to the change in the marriage law.
Speaking last week at an event held to celebrate enactment of the new law, Mayor Vincent Gray said he “was thrilled to hear this,” adding that the new law “has been so smoothly implemented,” even though he acknowledged that he has lost some friends due to his own outspoken support for the measure when he served on City Council until being elected mayor in November. But he said that was a price he willingly has paid for doing what he called “the right thing.”
As for the possibility that the new Republican majority in the U.S. House of Representatives might still seek to roll back the new law, the mayor said he was aware it could happen, but “I haven’t heard anything yet” about it.
And so the dust in D.C. has settled. And in the wake of the new law have come party planners and experts in wedding officiating like Deborah Cummings-Thomas and Sheila Alexander-Reid, both licensed and ordained to perform weddings, lesbians and partners since May of last year in Marry Me in D.C., which helps connect people wanting to marry in D.C. with what Cummings-Thomas calls “our network of gay and gay-friendly service providers who celebrate, not just tolerate them on their wedding day.”
On March 19, Marry Me in D.C. hosts a “Marriage Equality Wedding Expo,” from noon to 4 p.m. at the Washington Court Hotel, 525 New Jersey Avenue NW, on Capitol Hill. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Advance registration is encouraged at marrymeindc.com.
Robin McGehee (Blade file photo by Michael Key)
Marriage not a happy ending for all
With the legalization of same-sex marriage comes, inevitably, gay divorce.
Robin McGehee has felt its sting. The 37-year-old California resident and lesbian who decided to wed in June 2008, says she decided to un-wed a year and a month later, in July 2009. She and her partner took their vows under California’s same-sex marriage law prior to its being overturned by the state’s voters in November 2008 ballot when Proposition 8 passed. Their marriage remained valid however under a grandfather clause.
But it fell victim nevertheless, in an ironic way, says McGehee, since it was the fight against its passage that brought her into the fray to oppose Prop 8.
After getting iced out of volunteer work at her son’s Catholic school, she became a gay activist and helped organize the National Equality March, held in Washington in October 2009. As a newly mobilized activist, she says, she was “on the road almost every weekend for months at a time.”
And that activism led her away, she acknowledges, from placing a focus needed at home, to repair the fraying ties that bound her with her spouse, a woman 19 years her senior, with whom she had joined in 2001 in a domestic partnership contract under California law. They had been a couple for 11 years at the time of their wedding.
She says she “met someone on the road, someone I connected with emotionally.” Basically, she admits, “I fell for someone else.” They have now been together for a year and a half, and they face, McGehee says, “the same challenges,” because now she is also working a second job, as executive director of GetEqual, a group that focuses on using non-violent civil disobedience to advance LGBT rights.
As for her former spouse, they remain in constructive discussions over dual issues, caught up still in legal proceedings over the terms of ending both their marriage and their earlier domestic partnership. Closure should come, she expects, “any time now.”
Delaware
Democrat Maureen ‘Mo’ Madden takes on longtime GOP stronghold in Delaware’s 38th
Out lesbian candidate for state House focused on infrastructure needs, voting rights
Democrat Maureen “Mo” Madden is running for the Delaware House of Representatives in the 38th District, seeking to win a seat that has been held by Republicans for more than two decades.
The race opened up after Republican state Rep. Ron Gray announced in April that he would not seek reelection after seven terms in the General Assembly.
Gray was first elected in 2012 and represents communities including Bethany Beach, Fenwick Island, Selbyville and Ocean View. Madden, a Dagsboro resident, filed to run for the seat in 2025.
Madden is a retired federal civil servant who spent nearly 23 years at NASA and more than seven years at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. She holds a master’s degree in physics and previously worked in leadership at NOAA.
She said her professional experience taught her the importance of working collaboratively, something she believes would translate to the legislature.
“Advocating, negotiating, and collaborating are all skills that a legislator needs,” she said. “You learn to collaborate. You learn to negotiate. You learn to advocate for your budget, for your team, and for your projects.”
Madden said her decision to run began after she and her wife moved to the area and she noticed the lack of Democratic candidates on the ballot in her district.
“Somebody’s got to do it, and I’ve got time. I’m retired,” said Madden.
She acknowledged the difficulty of running as a Democrat in the district, which has been represented by Republicans since 2002.
Madden said one of the biggest concerns she hears from residents is the rapid growth of Sussex County.
“We have a massive amount of growth and a massive amount of development,” said Madden.
Madden said the growth has placed additional pressure on roads, schools, emergency services, as well as water and sewer infrastructure.
“We need to find a way to bring more money down here for the school system and for the infrastructure that we need,” she said.
She also raised concerns about the impact of new developments on existing neighborhoods, particularly in regard to flooding and drainage.
“Something needs to be done,” said Madden.
Madden also pointed to climate change as a factor affecting the region.She said the state will need to work on both addressing development and preparing communities for increasingly severe weather.
“We have to work both sides of it,” Madden said.
Madden said improving infrastructure would be a priority if she is elected, particularly roads and other infrastructure that affect residents’ daily lives.
“I want to increase the safety of my neighbors,” she said.
Madden also said she wants to address infrastructure needs related to water and sewer service, as well as the availability of health care in the rapidly growing coastal region.
Madden said protecting voting rights would be another priority in the legislature.
“The right to vote is one of the biggest things that we have here in a democracy,” she said.
She said that she supports early voting, mail-in voting, and same-day registration, as well as restoring voting rights to people who have completed felony sentences.
“You should not lose a constitutional right because you’ve been in jail,” said Madden.
“Protecting the right to vote is how I will defend democracy when I get to the state House,” she said.
Madden said she would also support efforts to enshrine certain rights in the Delaware Constitution, including reproductive rights, voting rights, and the right to marriage.
“Those three protections of our freedoms that are right now under attack need to be more secure in the Delaware State Constitution,” she said.
As an openly lesbian candidate, Madden said LGBTQ+ rights are important to her, particularly the treatment of young transgender people.
She said she is concerned about efforts to restrict transgender students’ participation in sports and other policies affecting transgender people.
“They are picking on the most vulnerable of the most vulnerable,” said Madden.
She said she hopes voters will view LGBTQ+ people as part of their communities rather than as fundamentally different from their neighbors.
“We’re your neighbors. We’re your friends. We’re your family,” she said.
Madden will face Republican Carlie Carey in the general election on Nov. 3.
The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at [email protected].
It is exciting to write about Nick Tsusaki, the founder and owner of Spark Social, 2009 14th St., N.W. Tsusaki just announced the official opening, on Sunday, Aug. 23, of a new daytime event, called Spark Coffee Club, a great opportunity to meet up with friends, or meet new ones. It is in partnership with Go Gay DC and runs 12-1 p.m., every Sunday. If you are new to D.C., you can browse more than 180 local LGBTQ+ community groups Tsusaki has listed on the community tab of his website: spark-dc.com/community.
“I’ve been out for most of my life, but it wasn’t until I started working in queer spaces, surrounded by queer people, that I really felt proud, even lucky, to be gay,” he said. “I hope Spark is a place where more people come to that same realization.”
Tsusaki went to Georgetown for his undergraduate studies, and spent four years doing Navy ROTC, then went into the Navy. He told me, “Town was the first gay bar I ever went to. It was always such a liberating and euphoric experience, I knew I wanted to come back to D.C. permanently, after the Navy.”
During his eight years in the Navy, Tsusaki spent time in among other places, Bahrain, and Korea. He was D.C. operations manager, where he managed large, diverse teams, across multiple countries, supervising logistics, scheduling, safety protocols, and daily operational readiness. He also directed emergency response and crisis management operations, including White House support, COVID-19 response planning, and major safety and security protocols protecting tens of thousands of personnel.
Tsusaki recounted, “When I left the Navy in 2023, I applied to every gay bar in the city. Fortunately, Shakers, was just opening at that time, and I started as a barback on the opening team. My appreciation for the D.C. LGBTQ+ community, and LGBTQ+ spaces only grew as I worked with and met some of the most hilarious, talented, proud, diverse, and supportive people in my life. After just a year in the industry, my passion had grown so strong I decided I wanted to open my own venue.”
Tsusaki then built Spark Social, and now supervises a 20-person team across café, bar, retail, and nightlife operations, ensuring strong safety standards, clear procedures, and consistent guest experience. He has developed a deeply trusted neighborhood presence through strong community partnerships, resulting in a 4.9 Google rating with 120+ reviews. He created an innovative 1-for-1 cocktail menu offering alcoholic and non-alcoholic options, with equal quality and presentation, and promotes an inclusive nightlife for non-drinkers. He has established Spark as a unique market leader in LGBTQ+ hospitality, combining daytime café culture, with late-night programming, and community-centered events. So, whether you go for the new community coffee hour on Sundays, or any other time, Spark Social is a place where you will feel comfortable.
Tsusaki earned his bachelor’s of science degree in foreign service, Georgetown University; and master’s in business analytics from the University of Virginia, Darden School of Business.
Maryland
Anne Arundel schools updates gender identity regulation following Trump administration threats
District facing federal lawsuit, White House threats over guidelines
By JESSICA CALEFATI | Under pressure from the Trump-Vance administration, Anne Arundel County Public Schools Supt. Mark Bedell announced Wednesday the district had updated a regulation intended to protect transgender students’ right to be called by their chosen name.
The revised language makes clear that district rules on gender identity do not block parents’ rights under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act as the federal government alleged last month, and that a student’s gender identity will not be treated as confidential medical information.
“No policy, guideline, or practice may limit or otherwise interfere with parental rights under FERPA,” Bedell wrote in a Wednesday letter to the community. “This includes any information maintained in education records that relates to gender identity, transgender status, sexual orientation, preferred name, or preferred pronouns.”
The rest of this article can be read on the Baltimore Banner’s website.
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Democrat Maureen ‘Mo’ Madden takes on longtime GOP stronghold in Delaware’s 38th
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