Living
Gay, bi men remain key to HIV epidemic
After 30 years of AIDS, many breakthroughs but infection rates on the rise
On June 5, 1981, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published an article in its authoritative journal Morbidity and Mortality Weekly report that experts now consider the first signal that an unprecedented worldwide epidemic had begun.
“In the period of October 1980-May 1981, 5 young men, all active homosexuals, were treated for biopsy-confirmed Pneumocystis carini pneumonia at 3 different hospitals in Los Angeles, California. Two of the patients died,” the MMWR article stated.
“Pneumocystis pneumonia in the United States is almost exclusively limited to severely immunosuppressed patients,” said the article. “The occurrence of pneumocytosis in these 5 previously healthy individuals without a clinically apparent underlying immunodeficiency is unusual.”
It would take another few years before scientists named the condition detected in the men discussed in that MMWR article as Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome or AIDS. The name AIDS followed an earlier term used by some researchers and the media – Gay Related Immune Disorder or GRID.
In reflecting on the tumultuous developments surrounding AIDS over the past 30 years, leaders of AIDS advocacy organizations and LGBT activists in the U.S. who lived through the early years of the epidemic say that, to some extent, the MMWR article of June 1981 still has considerable resonance for gay men.
They acknowledge that so much has changed for the better over the past 30 years, including breakthroughs in biomedical research resulting in highly effective drugs that transformed AIDS from a death sentence into a manageable, chronic illness like diabetes.
But AIDS activists also point out that HIV and AIDS continue to disproportionately impact gay men or men who have sex with men (MSM) in the United States and other countries.
And although the perception of AIDS as a “gay disease” has largely receded from the minds of most Americans, AIDS activists say they find themselves in the ironic position of having to remind Congress and state and local governments that more resources and funding are needed for HIV prevention programs targeting gay and bisexual men.
“MSM is the only group for whom, according to the CDC, new infections are still increasing,” said Ronald Johnson, vice president for policy and advocacy for AIDS United, a national group formerly known as AIDS Action.
“So there continues to be a concern that there is not enough targeted prevention resources to MSM, particularly MSM of color and young MSM of all races and ethnicities,” Johnson said.
According to the CDC, while MSM account for about 2 percent of the U.S. population, more than half of all new HIV infections in the U.S. each year (53 percent) occur among MSM. CDC data also show that MSM make up nearly half of all people living with HIV in the U.S. – 48 percent.
CDC figures show that white MSM “account for the largest number of annual new HIV infections of any group in the U.S., followed closely by black MSM,” according to a CDC fact sheet released last month.
“There are more new HIV infections among young black MSM (aged 13-29) than among any other age and racial group of MSM,” the fact sheet says.
The Obama administration, with input from AIDS advocacy organizations, released a National HIV/AIDS Strategy document in July 2010 that, among other things, calls for an aggressive effort to develop better HIV prevention programs targeting MSM.
Johnson and Carl Schmid, deputy executive director of the AIDS Institute, a national advocacy group, praised the administration for developing the strategy document, which they say covers most of the bases needed for addressing HIV prevention programs for MSM.
But the two said the proposals in the strategy document have yet to be fully implemented. They note that delays in its implementation are due, in part, to the U.S. economic situation that has prevented needed increases in federal AIDS funds and severe cutbacks in state and local funding for AIDS-related programs.
Phill Wilson, president and CEO of the Black AIDS Institute, said in a commentary last week in the Washington Informer, a black community newspaper, that he fears the horrors of the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, when friends and family members watched loved ones die due to a lack of effective medical treatment, could return to some degree in the next few years.
According to Wilson, if the federal government fails to boost funding for the federal-state AIDS Drug Assistance Program (ADAP), low income people who rely on the program to provide them the medications they need keep the AIDS virus in check could become casualties just as their predecessors became casualties years earlier. But this time, he said, an inability to gain access to medicine due to funding shortfalls would be responsible for their fate at a time when effective medicine is readily available.
He called such an outcome “immoral.”
The ADAP program was created under the Ryan White AIDS Care Act to provide life-sustaining drugs for low-income people with HIV and AIDS who are under insured or don’t have any health insurance to help pay for the drugs.
ADAP funding cuts by states and a large increase in the number of people applying for ADAP assistance has resulted in nearly 8,000 people being placed on state waiting lists for the AIDS drugs they need to remain healthy.
The health insurance reform law that President Obama proposed and Congress passed two years ago was expected to relieve the ADAP funding pressure on states when it takes effect in 2014. However, some states that oppose the law have filed lawsuits seeking to prevent its provision requiring all citizens to buy some form of health insurance from going into effect, making its outcome uncertain.
Nearly all AIDS advocacy groups support the law, saying it would strengthen medical care for large numbers of people with HIV/AIDS.
Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, an arm of the U.S. National Institutes of Health, has been the leading federal government official monitoring the AIDS epidemic and directing AIDS-related research since the disease burst on the scene in 1981.
In a speech commemorating the 30th anniversary of AIDS at NIH headquarters in Rockville, Md., on Tuesday, Fauci said he’s optimistic that an AIDS vaccine can be developed in the near future.
“We have scientific evidence that a safe and effective HIV vaccine is possible,” he said in a statement released on May 18.
“In 2009, a clinical trial in Thailand involving 16,000 people demonstrated for the first time that a vaccine could safely prevent HIV infection in a modest proportion of study participants,” he said. “Many of the best minds in HIV vaccine science are examining blood samples and data from the Thai trial to learn how the vaccine candidate prevented HIV infections and to consider how it could be modified to be more effective.”
Fauci said NIAID is also optimistic about development within the next few years of effective vaginal and rectal microbicides that can be used to prevent the transmission of HIV during sexual contact.
Fauci and other researchers have also pointed to studies showing the effectiveness to a certain degree of prescribing HIV drugs for use by non-infected people believed to be at high risk for HIV infection, such as men who have sex with men.
Known as pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, the use of this prevention measure is said to have the drawback of being less effective if people fail to take the drug as required. Some also have expressed concern that people using this prevention method are subject to potential side effects of the drugs and may be discouraged from using condoms, which experts say is one of the most effective methods of HIV prevention.
Events and developments in the early years of AIDS
• 1981: The CDC reports in its June 1981 edition of MMWR and subsequent editions that year that an estimated 170 gay men had succumbed to Pneumocystis carini pneumonia and Kaposi’s sarcoma, a rare skin cancer, over the preceding two years. The CDC studies of these cases cited a serious malfunctioning of the body’s immune system in those who contracted the conditions.
• 1982: Gay Related Immune Disorder, or GRID, became the first name to describe what is now known as AIDS. Cases reached epidemic proportions in the U.S., moving beyond clusters of gay men in New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles and into groups with no obvious risk factors.
• 1983: Gay leaders, independent medical researchers and health and social services agency officials testify before a congressional committee that the federal response to AIDS was highly inadequate. They issue a plea for the federal government and the Reagan administration to increase federal funding and federal initiatives to fight AIDS.
• 1985: In late July, actor Rock Hudson stunned the nation when he issued a statement saying he had AIDS and was receiving treatment in Paris that he said he couldn’t get in the U.S. He died three months later at age 59. His announcement and death drew massive mainstream media attention to AIDS. His death prompted his close friend, actress Elizabeth Taylor, to help found the American Foundation for AIDS Research to raise funds for AIDS causes.
• 1988: The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt makes its second trip to Washington in the spring, where it’s displayed on the Ellipse near the White House. Later that year, about 1,100 AIDS activists staged a protest at the headquarters of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration in suburban Maryland outside D.C., denouncing the FDA for taking too long to approve new drugs for people with AIDS. Police arrested at least 176 of the protesters after they blocked access to the FDA building’s main entrance.
Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as a celebration of romantic love — flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. But for many LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, Valentine’s Day can also be a moment to reflect on something deeper: the love that creates a safe, welcoming home.
For LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers, homeownership is more than a financial milestone—it is an act of belonging, resilience, and pride. Owning a home can mean finally having a place where you can hold hands with your partner on the front porch, decorate with your authentic style, and build a life free from judgment. In this way, buying or selling a home is one of the most meaningful love stories many LGBTQ+ people will ever write.
This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple upgrading your space, or an LGBTQ+ seller moving on to your next chapter, it’s worth thinking about how love, identity, and real estate intersect—and how to navigate that journey with confidence, protection, and the right support.
Love, Identity, and the Meaning of ‘Home’
For generations, LGBTQ+ people were denied equal access to housing, homeownership, and legal protections. Even today, many LGBTQ+ home buyers still face subtle bias, uncomfortable interactions, or outright discrimination in the real estate process.
That’s why finding LGBTQ+ friendly real estate and an affirming gay friendly realtor or lesbian realtor matters so much. A home isn’t just a building—it’s a personal sanctuary. Working with LGBTQ+ real estate agents who understand your lived experience can make all the difference between a stressful transaction and a joyful one.
For over 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been the leading gay real estate network, connecting LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers with gay real estate agents, lesbian real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly realtors who truly “get it.” Their mission has always been simple yet powerful: to ensure that every LGBTQ+ person has access to safe, respectful, and inclusive real estate services.
Finding Your Match: Choosing the Right LGBTQ+ Friendly Realtor
Much like dating, finding the right real estate agent is about compatibility, trust, and communication. Here are some key tips for choosing the best LGBTQ+ real estate representation:
- Look for experience with LGBTQ+ clients. Search for a gay realtor near me or lesbian realtor near me through GayRealEstate.com, where agents are vetted for cultural competency and community commitment.
- Ask about their experience with same-sex couple home buying. A strong agent should understand issues like joint ownership, legal protections, and financing considerations.
- Choose someone who listens. You should feel safe sharing your priorities—whether that includes proximity to LGBTQ+ nightlife, affirming schools, or lesbian-friendly neighborhoods.
- Prioritize respect and transparency. Your agent should advocate for you, not just push a quick sale.
The right gay friendly real estate agent isn’t just helping you buy a house—they’re helping you find a place to build your life.
Best Cities for LGBTQ+ Home Buyers
If love is your compass, location is your map. Some of the best cities for LGBTQ+ home buyers consistently offer strong community presence, legal protections, and welcoming neighborhoods:
- Wilton Manors, Florida – A hub for LGBTQ+ culture with thriving LGBTQ+ real estate opportunities
- Palm Springs, California – A long-standing LGBTQ+ retirement and second-home destination
- Provincetown, Massachusetts – Historic LGBTQ+ community with progressive housing protections
- Asheville, North Carolina – Growing market with inclusive real estate services
- Fort Lauderdale, Florida – Diverse, welcoming, and highly sought-after for LGBTQ+ home ownership
Working with GayRealEstate.com allows you to connect with local LGBTQ+ real estate experts who know these markets inside and out.
Navigating Legal Protections in LGBTQ+ Real Estate
Love is universal—but legal protections are not always consistent. Understanding your rights is essential when buying or selling a home as an LGBTQ+ person.
Key protections include:
- Fair Housing Act (FHA): Prohibits discrimination based on sex, which courts have increasingly interpreted to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
- State and local protections: Many cities and states offer additional safeguards against LGBTQ+ housing discrimination.
- Same-sex couple legal considerations: If you are married, joint ownership is typically straightforward. If not, consult an attorney about co-ownership agreements.
A knowledgeable LGBTQ+ friendly realtor from GayRealEstate.com can help guide you through these complexities and connect you with trusted legal professionals when needed.
Buying a Home as an LGBTQ+ Person: Practical Tips
If you’re embarking on your home-buying journey this Valentine’s season, here are smart, practical steps to take:
- Clarify your priorities. Do you want a vibrant LGBTQ+ neighborhood, quiet suburbs, or access to queer community spaces?
- Get pre-approved for a mortgage. This strengthens your position in competitive markets.
- Work with an LGBTQ+ real estate agent. Searching “finding a gay real estate agent” or “finding a lesbian real estate agent” through GayRealEstate.com is a great first step.
- Research inclusive communities. Some neighborhoods are more welcoming than others.
- Know your rights. If you experience bias, document it and seek legal guidance.
Buying a home is an act of self-love—and community love.
Selling a Home as an LGBTQ+ Person
Selling can be just as emotional as buying, especially if your home represents years of memories with your partner, friends, or chosen family.
When selling a home as an LGBTQ+ person, consider:
- Working with a gay friendly realtor who will market your home inclusively
- Highlighting LGBTQ+ community appeal in listings
- Being prepared for potential buyer bias (and knowing how to respond)
- Leaning on GayRealEstate.com’s LGBTQ+ real estate services for trusted guidance
Your story—and your home—deserve respect.
Real Estate for LGBTQ+ Families
More LGBTQ+ couples are raising children, fostering, or building blended families. This makes homeownership even more meaningful.
When searching for real estate for LGBTQ+ families, consider:
- LGBTQ+ affirming school districts
- Family-friendly queer communities
- Safe neighborhoods with inclusive values
- Access to LGBTQ+ resources and social networks
GayRealEstate.com specializes in helping LGBTQ+ families find homes that truly fit their lives.
Love, Pride, and Homeownership
At its core, Valentine’s Day is about connection. For LGBTQ+ people, homeownership can be one of the most profound expressions of love—love for yourself, your partner, your family, and your future.
Whether you are a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple relocating, or an LGBTQ+ seller moving forward, you deserve an experience rooted in dignity, fairness, and celebration.
For over three decades, GayRealEstate.com has stood as the leading source for LGBTQ+ real estate, gay real estate, lesbian real estate, and LGBTQ+ home buying and selling representation. Their nationwide network of gay real estate agents, lesbian-friendly real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly realtors ensures that your real estate journey is guided by professionals who understand your heart—and your home.
This Valentine’s Day, let your next chapter be written in a place where you can truly belong. Because when love leads the way, home is never far behind.
Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.
Dear Michael,
I keep getting rejected on the apps. I don’t want to put myself out there anymore.
I don’t understand gay men. I think they behave really badly.
Guys stop replying in the middle of a text conversation and then un-match me. Guys don’t show up when we make a plan to meet. After a date or even a hookup that it seems clear we both enjoyed, I never hear from the guy again.
I am a pretty good looking and successful guy. I’m not a model or a billionaire but I’m sincerely wanting to date and eventually share a life with someone.
Unfortunately, everyone I am meeting, even if they say they have similar aspirations for a partner, acts like they’re looking over my shoulder for something better, and drops me for I-don’t-know-what reason.
I don’t have a lot of trust in the sincerity of gay men.
I know I sound bitter but I’ve been at this for a while and it keeps happening.
I know there’s a saying that if it keeps happening to you, you must be the problem. Logically that makes sense.
Except, I think this keeps happening so often and so predictably that it’s not me. These people hardly know me. It’s more along the lines of, if everything about me isn’t exactly what they want, or some little thing that I say, think, or do offends them, they vanish.
I’m lonely, but what’s out there is awful. Maybe it’s best to not keep trying.
If you have a different way of seeing it that’s honest, not just some fluff to make me feel better and be hopeful, please enlighten me.
Michael replies:
I agree with you, there is a lot of this kind of behavior out there. I hear stories similar to yours all the time. Though people do find great relationships online, relying on apps to meet a partner can be tricky.
Hookup apps have little to do with any kind of real connection. Often, they don’t even have much to do with sex. For a lot of people, they’re more about trying to fill up some kind of emptiness and seeking validation. They also, obviously, objectify men, which is the opposite experience of what you’re seeking.
And dating apps lend themselves to a sort of takeout menu concept of dating. You get to specify exactly what you’re looking for—a little of this, a lot of that, please omit something else—and then believe you should get what you ordered. As if that really exists. And when something isn’t just what you wanted, forget it.
But life doesn’t work that way. Nor do people: You can enter the exact criteria for the man of your dreams, but he will surprise you or let you down at times in some major ways. That’s how it goes. Part of being in a relationship is accepting that we all have to deal with imperfection.
All that said, hordes of people are going to keep using all sorts of apps and keep looking for “perfect” partners and keep ditching perfectly fine guys for the most minuscule of reasons.
But that doesn’t mean that you have to stay on the apps if it’s demoralizing you and leaving you hopeless.
Before you sign off, perhaps you would like to have some fun and be creative. Just for example, you could write in your profile that you’re interested in meeting a guy who isn’t looking for perfection and is looking for a decent soul rather than a set of stats. You still might encounter a lot of guys who ghost you for no apparent reason, but you also might have some luck finding a sincere someone with relationship goals that are similar to yours.
Another, complimentary strategy: Toughen up your attitude to stop letting let these rejections get under your skin. They have little to do with who you are (unless you are oblivious to some major issue about yourself), so you needn’t take them personally. In other words, expect this to keep happening; and when it does, laugh and keep moving forward.
I understand you are feeling like giving up on gay men in general. Keep in mind that while there are a lot of reasons why many gay men focus more on sex and less on commitment, that isn’t true across the board. In my work over the years, I have met many gay men who are looking for what you’re seeking. You could strive to be hopeful that if you keep looking, you are likely to cross paths with some of them.
And where you look may play a role.
Whether or not you stay on the apps, I suggest you seek additional ways to meet a potential boyfriend. Before apps existed, people did find other ways to meet romantic partners, and these ways do still exist. I know that this path is not an easy one. The whole dating endeavor isn’t easy. But difficult is not impossible.
There are social and activity groups for gay men that are organized around some sort of shared interest. They aren’t overtly sexual, so often attract people who are interested in and looking for a deeper connection. Even if you don’t meet a boyfriend there, you might make some like-minded friends, and one thing may lead to another in all sorts of ways.
There’s also plenty you can do as a human being (not simply as a gay man) in the offline world that might interest and even uplift you, where you just might meet a man you like. Again, you might also simply make some friends, and through having a bigger social life, might ultimately meet your guy.
Simply put: Don’t let yourself feel like or be a victim. Don’t keep putting yourself in miserable situations. And figure out what it means for you to do your best to make what you’d like to happen, happen.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Real Estate
New year, new housing landscape for D.C. landlords
Several developments expected to influence how rental housing operates
As 2026 begins, Washington, D.C.’s rental housing landscape continues to evolve in ways that matter to small landlords, tenants, and the communities they serve. At the center of many of these conversations is the Small Multifamily & Rental Owners Association (SMOA), a D.C.–based organization that advocates for small property owners and the preservation of the city’s naturally occurring affordable housing.
At their December “DC Housing Policy Summit,” city officials, housing researchers, lenders, attorneys, and housing providers gathered to discuss the policies and proposals shaping the future of rental housing in the District. The topics ranged from recent legislative changes to emerging ballot initiatives and understanding how today’s policy decisions will affect housing stability tomorrow.
Why Housing Policy Matters in 2026
If you are a landlord or a tenant, several developments now underway in D.C., are expected to influence how rental housing operates in the years ahead.
One of the most significant developments is the Rebalancing Expectations for Neighbors, Tenants and Landlords (RENTAL) Act of 2025, a sweeping piece of legislation passed last fall and effective December 31, 2025, which updates a range of housing laws. This broad housing reform law will modernize housing regulations and address long-standing court backlogs, and in a practical manner, assist landlords with shortened notice and filing requirements for lawsuits. The Act introduces changes to eviction procedures, adjusts pre-filing notice timelines, and modifies certain tenant protections under previous legislation, the Tenant Opportunity to Purchase Act.
At the same time, the District has expanded its Rent Registry, to have a better overview of licensed rental units in the city with updated technology that tracks rental units subject to and exempt from rent control and other related housing information. Designed to improve transparency and enforcement, Rent Registry makes it easier for all parties to verify rent control status and compliance.
Looking ahead to the 2026 election cycle, a proposed ballot initiative for a two-year rent freeze is generating significant conversation. If it qualifies for the ballot and is approved by voters, the measure would pause rent increases across the District for two years. While still in the proposal phase, it reflects the broader focus on tenant affordability that continues to shape housing policy debates.
What This Means for Rental Owners
Taken together, these changes underscore how closely policy and day-to-day operations are connected for small landlords. Staying informed about notice requirements, registration obligations, and evolving regulations isn’t just a legal necessity. It’s a key part of maintaining stable, compliant rental properties.
With discussions underway about rent stabilization, voucher policies, and potential rent freezes, long-term revenue projections will be influenced by regulatory shifts just as much as market conditions alone. Financial and strategic planning becomes even more important to protect your interests.
Preparing for the Changes
As the owner of a property management company here in the District, I’ve spent much of the past year thinking about how these changes translate from legislation into real-world operations.
The first priority has been updating our eviction and compliance workflows to align with the RENTAL Act of 2025. That means revising how delinquent rent cases are handled, adjusting notice procedures, and helping owners understand how revised timelines and court processes may affect the cost, timing, and strategy behind enforcement decisions.
Just as important, we’re shifting toward earlier, more proactive communication around compliance and regulatory risk. Rather than reacting after policies take effect, we’re working to flag potential exposure in advance, so owners can make informed decisions before small issues become costly problems.
A Bigger Picture for 2026
Housing policy in Washington, D.C., has always reflected the city’s values from protecting tenants to preserving affordability in rapidly changing neighborhoods. As those policies continue to evolve, the challenge will be finding the right balance between stability for renters and sustainability for the small property owners who provide much of the city’s housing.
The conversations happening now at policy summits, in Council chambers, and across neighborhood communities will shape how rental housing is regulated. For landlords, tenants, and legislators alike, 2026 represents an opportunity to engage thoughtfully, to ask hard questions, and to create a future where compliance, fairness, and long-term stability go hand-in-hand.
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