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Queery: David Merrill

The Cherry DJ answers 20 gay questions

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David Merrill (Blade photo by Michael Key)

When asked why he gave up a 15-year computer science career to become a full-time DJ, Columbia Heights resident David Merrill has a simple answer: “Because I could.”

Merrill started spinning in college but soon his day job took over.

“When you’re working 60 to 70 hours a week, which is normal for that field, you don’t have the energy to be out spinning ‘til 4 in the morning,” he says. “I always wanted to do it and I was just finally at a point where I could.”

Listen for Merrill tonight at the “Boys on Fire” party from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. at the Warehouse Loft (411 New York Ave., N.E.) where he’ll open for DJ Paulo. Though he’s attended Cherry each year for about 10 years, this is Merrill’s first time spinning and only his second circuit party. He also has monthly gigs at Code (first Saturday of each month at Green Lantern), Triple X (every third Friday at the Crucible) and a radio show called Club Queer. On Saturday night, he’ll be at Cobalt’s Raw event.

“I have very eclectic tastes,” he says. “The only hard-and-fast rule is if it makes me want to shake my ass, I’ll play it.”

He says tonight’s set will have elements of tribal, progressive and “acid house” grooves. He’ll spin about three hours. Go to cherryfund.org for details on all Cherry events. See page 33 for more information.

“Cherry is all about the music, all about the dancing,” he says. “You’re gonna see some amazing décor and there will be lots of hot guys half naked and that’s great, but like all great parties, it’s really about the music first and foremost. It’ll be some of the greatest music you ever hear in your life. DJ Paulo is amazing. It’s such an honor to open for him.”

Merrill grew up in Alexandria and has also lived in North Carolina and Florida at various times for school and career. He worked for years in Tampa doing computer work. He’s been back in Washington for about 10 years.

Though mum about his personal life, Merrill lives in Columbia Heights and enjoys dinner-and-a-movie evenings at home to relax. (Blade photos by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I never really “came out” officially. My mother eavesdropped on a phone call from my boyfriend, who called on Christmas Eve to wish me a Merry Christmas, and she outed me to the rest of the family. My father threw me out of the house that very night. I was 15. Since I had nothing to lose, I have ever since then been completely out.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

I have so many, but I would have to say Harvey Milk really stands out. So much of what we have accomplished is due to his leadership and the influence that he, and his assassination, had on the gay rights movement.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

That’s a hard one, and I know I might offend some current club owners but I have to say Tracks. But the lousiest nightclub can be heaven if a great DJ is playing. I don’t need lights and fog and lasers. Sure, they’re cool, but it’s all about the music for me.

Describe your dream wedding.

All of my family and friends on the roof of the Hay-Adams Hotel, across the street from the White House.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

I’m passionate about all civil rights issues. Every person deserves to be treated with dignity and respect no matter their gender, orientation, religion, race or any other characteristic they might have.

What historical outcome would you change?

I’m going to say the constitutional compromise that left slavery not only legal, but officially enshrined in our Constitution. Slavery is America’s “original sin” and I have to wonder what America would be like today if we had started out without that millstone around our neck.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The first time I saw “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” I was about 12 or 13 years old so for me at that age it was incredibly subversive and I’ve loved subversive art and theater ever since.

On what do you insist?

I insist on always doing my absolute best. There will always be someone who can run faster, or make more money, or whatever, but as long as I always work hard and do my very best, I can look in the mirror and be proud of myself.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

I posted a quote from Dan Savage: “Hostile parents can’t make their gay kids straight, but they can make them dead.”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Wrong Turns That Turn Out Right”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Drop it in the Gatoraid at a nearby locker room? OK, I wouldn’t really do that, but it’s a nice fantasy. I sure wouldn’t take it myself. I am very happy with who I am, thank you very much.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I don’t really know if there is a G-d in the Judeo-Christian sense, but I do believe that there is such a thing as sacred, and I try to find it in everyone.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

I would just like to thank them for all the good work that they do, and encourage them to keep the faith, because our cause is just and we will prevail.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

I would do anything for my family.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

I think the stereotype that we all cut hair or design interiors is ridiculous. Sure, lots of us are fabulous at those things, but lots more of us aren’t.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“Angels in America.” I love the part where Hannah responds to Blanche DuBois — “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”; “Well that’s a stupid thing to do.”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Talking about the weather.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

A great DJ can create a mood, really connect with a crowd of dancers, and take them on a musical and emotional journey. And when you’ve done that, when you have the crowd in the palm of your hand, you know it. You feel it. And THAT is the “prize” I work so hard to achieve. I live for that feeling. It’s why I’m a DJ.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

At 18 I was on the street, off and on, living in empty lots. If I had known that things would eventually work out for me, it would have saved me so much fear and worry about the future. Life for me has just gotten better and better. At 18 the future looked really bleak.

Why Washington?

I love Washington! There are so many things to do, places to go, museums to visit and great restaurants. You could never do it all.

 

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Annapolis Pride arrives this weekend

Sixth annual LGBTQ celebration held in Maryland capital

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Annapolis Pride is set for Saturday. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The Sixth Annual Annapolis Pride Parade and Festival will be held on Saturday, Oct. 3 at 11 a.m. on the streets adjacent to St. John’s College. 

The theme of this year’s Annapolis Pride Parade and Festival celebration is “United in Pride, Together We Thrive!” Saturday’s parade will begin on St. John’s Street adjacent to St. John’s College, continue along Calvert Street to Northwest Street, to Church Circle, and onto West Street. The parade route then turns onto Amos Garrett Boulevard and eventually ends on Constitution Avenue near Maryland Hall.

Those with disabilities will be able to watch the parade from a special viewing porch at the Graduate Hotel at 126 West St. An Annapolis Pride volunteer will be there and available to assist.

For more details, visit the festival’s website. 

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Calendar: October 2-8

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, October 2

Go Gay DC will host “First Friday LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite. 

Saturday, October 3

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets cost $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday, October 4

Spark Coffee Club will be at 12 p.m. at Spark Social. This is a laid-back daytime hangout built entirely around making new connections. Whether you’re new to the city, new to the community, or just looking to expand your social circle, this is an easy, low-pressure way to spark up a conversation with the person next to you. Come solo or with a friend — you never know who you might meet. For more details, visit Eventbrite. 

Monday, October 5

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, October 6

DC SAFE and the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ+ Affairs will host “The Relationship Lab” at 6 p.m. This is a four-week series for LGBTQ+ communities exploring love, boundaries, communication, and connection. Through real conversations and engaging discussions, participants will explore what makes relationships healthy and how to recognize the signs when they’re not. For more details, visit Eventbrite. 

Wednesday, October 7

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

Center Aging Women’s Social & Discussion Group will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older LGBTQ+ women can meet and socialize with one another. To register, visit the DC Center’s website.

Thursday, October 8

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

South Asian LGBTQ+ Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. KHUSHDC provides a safe, confidential space for South Asian LGBTQ community members to come together and share experiences. The peer support group is an outlet for South Asian-identified LGBTQ individuals to come and talk about anything affecting them. It’s a secure, judgement-free environment to discuss relationships, sexuality, health, well-being, identity, culture, religion, or anything that is on your mind. Please feel free to join, and share stories, learn about available resources, and join our community. For more details, email [email protected]. 

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Ryan Murphy’s ‘Monster’ vilifies the lesbian

Netflix show promotes stereotype that queer women are dangerous

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Ella Beatty stars in ‘Lizzie Borden.’ (Photo courtesy of Netflix)

Ryan Murphy’s “Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story” just premiered on Netflix and became the most watched show on the platform. Murphy and his series are deeply controversial. The past three seasons have focused on convicted killers Jeffrey Dahmer, Lyle and Erik Menendez, and Ed Gein, and have garnered considerable criticism for sensationalizing real-life trauma, exploiting victims for entertainment, and glorifying the perpetrators.

But his newest season centers on Lizzie Borden, the white, affluent Massachusetts woman still referenced today in nursery rhymes who was never convicted of killing her parents Andrew and Abby Borden. As with Murphy’s other seasons, the show plays fast-and-loose with real-life history, instead turning a real-life crime into a psychosexual spectacle. 

In real life, Lizzie was found not guilty by an all-male jury in the highly publicized 1892 trial, largely due to a lack of evidence including blood on her clothing and a murder weapon. Her initial statement contradicted her later testimony but her defense team argued that the morphine a doctor repeatedly gave her likely caused her confusion. But despite the fact that Lizzie was acquitted in court, she was ostracized by her community during her life and has been branded a murderer ever since.

Murphy’s highly fictionalized retelling of Lizzie’s story leans into this accusation not only that Lizzie murdered her father and stepmother with an axe but that she was successful in covering it up with the help of the maid Bridget Sullivan. Murphy not only concocts a sapphic relationship between Lizzie and Bridget, pinning the idea of killing Lizzie’s parents on the widely traveled woman who dyes her hair and is repeatedly called a lesbophobic slur by Lizzie’s stepmother, but also portrays Lizzie as an inspiration to Aileen Carol Wuornos, a woman who killed seven men who solicited sex and was also in a relationship with a woman. 

Further, Murphy’s retelling creates a false ending to Lizzie’s story. While in real life, Lizzie and her sister Emma buy a house called “Maplecroft” and live there for the rest of their lives, Murphy instead imagines Bridget returning sporadically for romantic rendezvous with Lizzie and eventually moving back in with her and marching together for women’s right to vote. In real life, Bridget left town immediately after providing testimony and lived in Montana until she died. 

Lesbophobia is at the heart of this retelling of Borden’s story. Despite the fact that Murphy depicts Lizzie and Bridget having sex and possibly getting married or at least promising themselves to one another wearing flower crowns, there is no evidence that Lizzie and Bridget had any romantic or sexual relationship. If they did have a relationship, it would likely have been hidden and any evidence destroyed, but records show that Lizzie herself refused to call Bridget by her real name, instead referring to her as “Maggie,” the name of their previous maid. It was only Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who called Bridget her real name. In Murphy’s retelling, it’s Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who refuses to learn or use Bridget’s actual name and treats her with disdain along with her stepdaughter.

Some people online argue that we are witnessing Lizzie’s story retold through Wuornos’s perspective, so adding in elements of child abuse and sapphic relationships would make sense, but there is no record that Wuornos ever visited Lizzie Borden’s home, or that she was inspired by Borden throughout her life. Instead, Murphy and his co-creator Ian Brennan use (or I would say exploit) Wuornos as a thematic device to make broad stereotypes about female rage across generations. In doing so, they conflate two real-life examples of violence to sapphic individuals.

Depicting a lesbian relationship in this way is not progress, nor is it fruitful representation today. As sapphic shows are increasingly cut and cancelled, Murphy’s inclusion just reinforces the lesbophobic and sexist stereotype that lesbians and queer women are “dangerous” to straight women and abet or incite violence against men and a family unit. At a time when anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and real-world violence and murder of LGBTQ+ people, especially queer and trans people of color, is exploding, stories that frame murder of a family unit as germinating from a sapphic relationship feed into far right narratives.

They further the myth popularized by far right leaders (including those in the highest echelons of government) that LGBTQ+ people are dangerous, a threat to heterosexual norms and family life, despite the data showing that children of same-sex parents have above average health and well-being according to research by the University of Melbourne.

Today, many LGBTQ+ people feel they have to be (or are forced to be) idealized versions of themselves in order to stave off anti-LGBTQ+ stigma, policing and violence. These “acceptable” behaviors and appearances are rooted not only in cisgender, heterosexual norms but also white supremacy, colonialism, xenophobia, and ableism. It is respectability politics that tell us how we can and should behave (including those perpetuating in the wider LGBTQ+ community) and push LGBTQ+ people to assimilate into a society governed by queerphobic normativity. 

I hope it’s clear that I’m not trying to argue that we cannot and should not have shows that depict queer women who kill, or at the very least queer women who are unethical or morally complex. We need these depictions because they ask difficult questions and they reference how some LGBTQ+ people can be and are unethical. In fact, several public LGBTQ+ figures are associated with employee abuse and exploitation, ableism, and fat phobia. 

But when Lizzie’s sapphic identity is invented to drive the story along, arguably to generate interest (especially straight men’s interest) in this spectacle of historical slop, it’s not a story that invites discourse and dimensionality, it’s one that collapses Lizzie, Wuornos, and queer women’s identities and relationships to plot devices. It objectifies and fetishizes queer women, arguably committing violence against not only Lizzie but also Wuornos.

And when there is so little representation of sapphic relationships on mainstream television or streaming platforms, it makes this the vast majority of representation that queer girls and women will see of themselves first, and that the straight public will see. Historians will know that Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie’s life is wrong, but many viewers will not and may not go digging for the truth.

Why not focus on the stories of bisexual, lesbian, and queer women who really existed, shared their identities (sometimes covertly, sometimes not), and had long-term partners? In fact, “Boston marriages” were common in this time period and referred to women living together when sexual and romantic relationships between women were illegal, partially because penal systems didn’t know how women could have sex with one another and didn’t want to put the idea in “impressionable” women’s minds. Why not focus on these stories instead of creating a fictionalized account? We have always existed; we do not need to invent relationships.

Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie Borden is deeply problematic. Lesbophobia is not the only issue at the heart of Murphy’s drama, but it merits a broader discussion about how mainstream media routinely hurt queer women and is part of perpetuating queerphobic violence, and what we all lose in the process. 

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