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Gay rights 101

With laws varying from state to state and constantly changing, new book gives good overview

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Same-Sex Legal Kit for Dummies, books, gay news, Washington Blade

‘Same-Sex Legal Kit for Dummies’
By Carrie Stone and John G. Culhane
John Wiley & Sons
$34.99
366 pages + CD

Same-Sex Legal Kit for Dummies, books, gay news, Washington Blade

(Image courtesy of John Wiley & Sons)

You know your rights.

You’ve watched enough TV to know that you have the right to remain silent. You have the right to party all night. You have the right sides of the bed, the sofa and seating arrangements at the table.

But kidding aside, what are your legal rights?  In “Same-Sex Legal Kit for Dummies” by Carrie Stone and John G. Culhane, you’ll learn some eye-opening rights — and wrongs.

Fifty years ago, needing to know your rights as an LGBT individual would’ve largely been a moot point: there were no rights. Today, you have rights but since they seem to change daily, you might need help understanding them.

Take, for instance, marriage.

Most states, of course, don’t recognize same-sex marriage and won’t honor a marriage performed in another state. The federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) further “cripples” gay and lesbian marriage by “roping off” federally granted rights that straight married couples enjoy, thus complicating tax returns, government benefits, immigration and more.

Expanding the mess created by DOMA, if a state doesn’t recognize your marriage or civil union, you may (or may not) still need a divorce, should you split with your ex-beloved. Other issues boggle the mind: what if you’re bisexual and you marry a same-sex partner in a right-to-marry state? Could you also legally marry an opposite-sex partner in a state that doesn’t recognize your first wedding?

Once you’ve untangled partnership legalities, it’s natural that you’d want to create a family. There are several ways to bring children into your household and the authors have advice on protecting the rights of all concerned. You’ll also get tips on dealing with bullying, schools and nosy neighbors.

Know where to seek help to combat discrimination. Know what to do if you’re refused housing based on your sexual orientation. Learn how to mesh finances, protect joint assets and buy a house with a partner. Find out how to ensure your rights on medical issues. And, though you hope you never need it, learn the right way to dissolve your “legal LGBT relationship.”

And now you know why you need “Same-Sex Legal Kit for Dummies.”

Yes, it’s all complicated, but authors Stone and Culhane manage to make it just a little less so by giving readers a broad overview of the important issues, starting with marriage.

Since that’s not the only LGBT issue in the courts, however, they also cover wills and trusts, health directives, power-of-attorney issues, immigration and many issues relating to LGBT families and children. Also helpful are a CD that includes forms and sample documents, and a section called “The Part of Tens,” in which you’ll get tips on things that are not necessarily legalities, but are useful nonetheless.

Overall, this is a handy book and a good start for those times when something’s amiss legally. True, it’s not a replacement for an actual lawyer, but if you think having “Same-Sex Legal Kit for Dummies” would be good to have around, you’ll likely benefit from it.

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PHOTOS: World Pride March

LGBTQ rights demonstration held in Amsterdam

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A scene from the 2026 World Pride March in Amsterdam. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The 2026 World Pride March was held on Saturday, Aug. 8 in Amsterdam. Tens of thousands of participants marched from Martin Luther Kingpark to the grounds of the Pride Village at Museumplein.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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PHOTOS: Daddy Issues at Kiki

Evry Pleasure, Tiara Missou-Sidora, Indiana Bones perform

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Evry Pleasure performs at the 'Daddy Issues' drag show at Kiki on Wednesday. (Washington Blade photo by Landon Shackelford)

The weekly drag show “Daddy Issues” was held at Kiki on Wednesday, Aug. 5. Performers included Evry Pleasure, Indiana Bones and Tiara Missou-Sidora.

(Washington Blade photos by Landon Shackelford)

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Books

Something’s off about Dad. When is it time to step in?

‘When Memory Fades’ can help when families face dementia

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(Book cover image courtesy of St. Martin's Essentials)

‘When Memory Fades’
By Nathaniel Chin, MD
c.2026, St. Martin’s Essentials
$30/422 pages

Mom called you in a panic the other day.

She’d lost her keys and by the time you arrived to help, she’d found them. In the refrigerator.

These kinds of things keep happening, not often but often enough, and you don’t know quite what to worry about. But in the new book “When Memory Fades” by Nathaniel Chin, MD, you’ll learn about the journey ahead, for both of you.

You can’t remember why you walked into a room. You got lost last week, going to the bank. Popular wisdom says that things like that are normal as we age, but Chin says that’s not true – although the answer may not be a worst-case scenario, either. Yes, memory problems could just be signs of stress, dehydration, or lack of sleep – or is it time to see a doctor?

Chin says maybe, yes.

He was working his way through medical residency when his father, a geriatrician in Madison, Wisc., was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Chin, now a geriatrician, was blindsided, but that diagnosis also changed his life.

Here, he writes about the brain, and how Alzheimer’s and dementia are diagnosed, explaining that dementia has many faces and, depending on a doctor’s evaluation, memory problems might be slowed or improved. He shares his father’s illness with readers, but he also writes about his mother, a steadfast, steady caretaker.

Her story reminds reader-guardians to care for themselves, too.

Know how to talk the talk, so that you can have “a more productive” conversation with your doctor. Understand that there’s nothing “normal” about dementia or Alzheimer’s. Know the statistics – African Americans are affected with dementia twice as much as whites – and know how to lower your risks. Learn here what questions to ask, how to break the news to everyone, and any legal matters that will be important soon. And know how to tend to you.

Says Chin, “The best action you can take is to educate yourself… The more you understand, the better equipped you are to make sound judgments.”

Something’s off about Dad, just a lot of little things that don’t add up. When is it time to step in? “When Memory Fades” can help you decide.

Wise, wide-spread, comprehensive, and compassionately helpful, this is a book you can read and then take it to the doctor with your loved one. It’s a book that makes sense when nothing else does, and its biggest feature is that it smoothly transitions from easy-to-grasp science and charts, to gentle coaching for caregivers. Author Nathaniel Chin, MD writes with storytelling, humility, grace, and experience from both sides of the Alzheimer’s/dementia issue, and his words are reassuring but also urgent. Learn, but don’t wait, he says. Know how to safeguard yourself. See your doctor, and don’t fear testing. Watch for signs of depression. And never, ever stop asking for help.

Read those last seven words, and find “When Memory Fades” now. It’s a book to have on your shelf, whether you’re 45 or 95 because, as you’ll see, dementia happens and knowledge is key.

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