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Get out of town

Summer packs plenty of options for LGBT travelers

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Image courtesy of Georgia Voice

After a long, miserable winter, many LGBT Washingtonians are ready to hit the road — or the runway, or the cruise ship — as the summer travel season heats up.

“Travel remains a very important need for gay people,” says Bob Witeck, CEO of Witeck-Combs Communications, which studies LGBT consumers.
 Even the economy isn’t enough to keep gay travelers housebound this time of year, he notes.

“What we keep finding over and over again is that gay people are not immune to what is going on in the economy, but what seems different is they are cutting back less on certain things, and travel is one of them,” Witeck says. “They desire to keep traveling more than other people.”

Witeck points to his firm’s poll conducted last April — when the recession was worse — to show that LGBT travelers weren’t cutting back on travel as much as their heterosexual counterparts even then.

Asked about airline travel for summer 2009, 62 percent of LGBT survey respondents said their travel plans would stay the same or increase, compared to only 36 percent of heterosexuals.

Overall travel budgets showed similar trends: 58 percent of LGBT respondents said they would spend the same amount or more, compared to 49 percent of heterosexuals.

“We are driven by destination and event travel too, whether we are talking about gay sporting events or gay parties,” Witeck notes.

In other words, gay travel is often motivated not only by places to visit, but by the desire to meet up with LGBT people from around the country or even around the world, and experience what it feels like to be in the majority.

Sure, we sometimes just go to the beach, but we also go to gay Memorial Day in Pensacola or Sizzle in Miami.

Whatever your travel preferences, there is likely an LGBT-inclusive option. Like getting back to nature? Visit a gay-owned campground, take a lesbian white water rafting trip, make the trek to the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival, or even attend “Camp” Camp, a summer camp for gay adults.

Prefer hitting the seas? Many mainstream cruise lines have special gatherings for LGBT travelers, while gay and lesbian travel companies like Atlantis, Olivia, R Family Vacations and Sweet offer LGBT-exclusive trips.

And don’t forget Pride festivals as a destination, including San Francisco (June 26-27) and New York City (June 19-27).

Here is a rundown of LGBT events happening this summer:

JUNE

NewFest: New York LGBT Film Festival
, June 3-13 in New York City, 
www.newfest.org

Capital Pride, June 4-13 in Washington, D.C., 
www.capitalpride.org

Boston Pride Week
, June 4-13 in Boston, Mass., 
www.bostonpride.org

Key West Pride Fest, 
June 9-13 in Key West, Fla., 
www.gaykeywestfl.com

Indie Grrl Fest, 
June 11-13 in Mineral Bluff, Ga., 
www.indiegrrl.com/festivals

LA Pride
, June 11-13 in West Hollywood, Calif., 
http://lapride.org

Stonewall Street Festival & Parade
, June 19 in Wilton Manors, Fla., 
www.pgfl.net

Berlin Christopher Street Day, 
June 19 in Berlin, Germany, 
www.csd-berlin.de

Nashville Pride
, July 19 in Nashville, Tenn.
, www.nashvillepride.org

New York City Pride, 
June 19-27
June 27 march headliners: Lt. Dan Choi, 
Judy Shepard, Constance McMillen, 
www.nycpride.org

R First-Ever European Cruise
 For LGBT families, friends
, June 20-27
, www.rfamilyvacations.com

South Carolina Black Pride
, June 24-27 in Columbia, S.C.
, www.southcarolinablackpride.com

Emerald Coast PrideFest, 
June 26 in Panama City, Fla., 
www.emeraldcoastpride.org

Pride Houston
, June 26 in Houston, Texas
, www.pridehouston.org

San Francisco Pride, 
June 26-27, 
www.sfpride.org

St. Pete Pride Promenade & Festival, 
June 26 in St. Petersburg, Fla., 
www.stpetepride.org

Chicago Pride Parade
, June 27 in Chicago, Ill., 
www.chicagopridecalendar.org

Seattle Pride Fest, June 27 in Seattle, Wash., 
www.seattlepridefest.com

Windy City Black Gay Pride, 
June 30-July 5 in Chicago, Ill.
, www.windycityblackpride.org

JULY

National Women’s Music Festival, 
July 1-4 in Middleton, Wisc., 
www.wiaonline.org

Los Angeles Black Pride, 
July 1-5 in Los Angeles, Calif., 
www.atbla.com

EuroPride 2010
, July 8-18 in Warsaw, Poland, 
www.Europride2010.eu

QFest: Philadelphia International LGBT Film Fest, 
July 8-19 in Philadelphia, Pa., 
www.phillycinema.org

Provincetown Bear Week, 
July 10-18 in Provincetown, Mass., 
www.ptownbears.org

R Family Club Med Ixtapa, Mexico
 For LGBT families, friends, July 10-17, 
www.rfamilyvacations.com

Miami Beach Bruthaz, 
July 15-18 in Miami, Fla., 
www.miamibeachbruthaz.com

Bone Island Bare it All Weekend
, July 15-18 in Key West, Fla.
, 
www.nakedkeywest.com

Pride London, July 15-25 in London, England, 
www.Pridelondon.ca

San Diego LGBT Pride, 
July 17-18 in San Diego, Calif.
, www.Sandiegopride.org

Olivia’s Provence to Burgundy, France Cruise, 
July 20-27, 
www.olivia.com

Girl Splash
, July 21-25 in Provincetown, Mass. 
Headliners: Sandra Bernhard, Kate Clinton, 
Vickie Shaw, Jennie McNulty, 
www.provincetownforwomen.com

Atlantis Events’ Copenhagen to Amsterdam, 
European Gay Pride Cruise, 
July 29 – Aug. 8
, www.atlantisevents.com

LGBT Family Week
, July 31- Aug. 7 in Provincetown, Mass., 
www.familyequality.org

Sweet Hawaiian Islands Cruise
, July 31 – Aug. 7
, 
www.discoversweet.com

Gay Games 2010, 
July 31 – Aug. 7 in Cologne, Germany, 
www.games-cologne.de

The Pines Party
, July 31 in Fire Island Pines, NY, 
www.pinesparty.com

AUGUST

Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival
, Aug. 3-8, 
Performers include: Indigo Girls, Betty, Ferron, Bitch, Toshi Reagon, Sia, The Butchies, 
www.michfest.com

Amsterdam Gay Pride
, Aug. 5-8 in Amsterdam, Netherlands, 
www.amsterdamgaypride.nl

FamilyFest in Las Vegas
, Aug. 6-8 in Las Vegas, Nev., 
www.familyfestlasvegas.com

Queer West Arts & Culture Festival, Aug. 7 – Aug. 15 in West Toronto, Ontario, Canada
, www.queerwest.org

R Family Vacations Summer Reunion
, Western Caribbean Cruise
, Aug. 14-21, 
www.rfamilyvacations.com

Provincetown Carnival
, Aug. 15-21 in Provincetown, Mass.
, www.ptown.org

Montreal Pride
, Aug. 12-15 in Montreal, Canada, 
www.fiertemontrealpride.com

Sweet Salmon River Rafting
, Aug. 16-21 in Stanley, Idaho, 
Rafting and wilderness camping 
by lesbian travel company Sweet, 
www.discoversweet.com

Atlantis Events Cruise: Italy to Greece
, Aug. 16–24, 
www.atlantisevents.com

Tropical Heat in Key West, 
Aug. 19-22 in Key West, Fla., 
www.TropicalHeatKW.com

‘Camp’ Camp, 
Aug. 22-29 in Kezar Falls, Maine
 Summer camp for LGBT adults, 
www.campcamp.com

Atlantis Events: Greece to Spain Cruise, 
Aug. 24 – Sept. 2, 
www.atlantisevents.com

South Carolina Pride
, Aug. 25 – Sept. 6 in Columbia, S.C.
 Rally: Sept. 4, 
www.scpride.org

SEPTEMBER

New Orleans Southern Decadence, 
Sept. 1 – Sept. 6, 
www.southerndecadence.com

Splash Days in Austin
, Sept. 3-6 in Austin, Texas, 
www.splashdays.com

Sweet Cozumel Palace Resort
, Sept. 4- 11 in Cozumel, Mexico
, 
www.discoversweet.com

Key West Womenfest
, Sept. 7-12 in Key West, Fla., 
www.womenfest.com

Savannah Pride
, Sept. 11 in Savannah, Ga., 
www.Savpride.com

Key West Bear Fest
, Sept. 16-19 in Key West, Fla., 
www.keywestbearfest.com

North Carolina Pride
, Sept. 25 in Durham / Raleigh, N.C., 
www.ncpride.org

Folsom Street Fair, 
Sept. 26 in San Francisco, Calif., 
www.folsomstreetevents.org

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Autos

Two awesome, affordable rides

Kia K4 and Nissan Kicks are more than budget friendly

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Kia K4 hatchback

Remember when buying a new car didn’t require the financial stamina of a “Succession” character? This summer, the average new-vehicle price hit $49,758—basically $50,000 with a little lipstick on it. That makes the Kia K4 hatchback and Nissan Kicks especially refreshing. Neither requires a second mortgage, a trust fund or a makeover to look good. And both prove you can still buy a new vehicle without selling your soul — or your vacation plans.

KIA K4 HATCHBACK

$25,000

Mpg: 28 city/34 highway

0 to 60 mph: 9.1 seconds

Cargo space: 22.2 cu. ft. 

PROS: Edgy exterior. Roomy interior. User-friendly controls.

CONS: So-so base engine. Pricy turbo. No all-wheel drive.

WHAT’S NEW: Basically everything. The K4 hatchback debuted earlier this year, joining the K4 sedan. 

Kia’s stylish five-door K4 boasts three trim levels. The first two use a capable four-cylinder engine, while the top-of-the-line model comes with a turbo.

That turbo provides some genuine zip, though it won’t blow your socks off. Think Janelle Monáe in a tailored suit, not Brad Pitt arriving at the F1 racetrack in a fireproof jumpsuit.

The real star, though, is the design. Sleek. Upscale. A tad mysterious. 

Inside, another surprise: vast legroom and storage. Fold the backseats and you can toss in the usual road-trip clutter, plus that regrettable piece of furniture you bought after watching one too many HGTV shows.

Technology is also a bonus, including a digital key that lets you use a smartphone or smartwatch as a direct key fob. You can even share this digital key with friends or family. Just don’t share it with anyone who often loses their actual keys.

Despite some SUV vibes, the K4 remains unapologetically car-like. It sits lower. Feels more conventional. And offers hatchback practicality without itching to conquer the Rockies.

The biggest downside? No all-wheel drive.

Still, for shoppers who crave style, space and gadgetry, the K4 won’t break the bank. To me, it’s like finding a designer jacket at a thrift shop.

NISSAN KICKS 

Nissan Kicks

$23,000

Mpg: 28 city/35 highway

0 to 60 mph: 8.9 seconds

Cargo space: 23.9 cubic feet

PROS: Dashing design. Safety gear galore. All-wheel drive.

CONS: Bit pokey. Noisy engine. Limited rear visibility.

WHAT’S NEW: Redesigned last year with a bit more power, bigger cabin and bold looks, Nissan leaves the winning formula alone.

Like the Kia K4, the Nissan Kicks comes in three trims levels. But it also includes all-wheel drive — a nice plus when navigating snow, sleet or cratered alleys. 

There’s an extensive suite of active and passive safety features. And the high ground clearance improves driver visibility, which is somewhat hindered in the back by thick roof pillars. 

Styling is tastefully flamboyant. Dramatic lighting. Two-tone finishes. Cheerful, without being cartoonish. Miranda Priestly would approve. 

Power, though, is more akin to Miranda’s art director Nigel Kipling. Dependable. Functional. Just not enthusiastic.

Inside, the mod cabin has large 12.3-inch displays, wireless smartphone connectivity and charging, and “zero gravity seats” designed to reduce driver fatigue and stiffness. Add in the stunning Bose Personal Plus audio system, with 10 speakers—including those integrated into the headrests—for an immersive 360-degree sound experience.

The Kicks doesn’t try to be rugged or luxurious. It simply offers a lot of everyday usefulness in a small package. 

There is a trade-off. The engine gets noisy when pushed, and there are sportier (often pricier) competitors. But that’s hardly a crime. Not every vehicle needs to perform catwalk struts down the street. 

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Advice

Should I divorce my catty gay friend group?

They’re mean but I’m afraid to be alone

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(Image by Andrew Rybalko/Bigstock)

Hi Michael,

When is it worth stopping being friends with someone, or more than one person?

Lately I feel like my friends aren’t being very nice to me. In fact it reminds me of high school, and junior high school, when I was being bullied.

I’m not the most attractive in the group, I know that. They are always ribbing me about not working out enough or that I should get a hair transplant (I am balding) or making fun of the way I dress. I am not that stylish, I just don’t have a good sense for clothes. I thought about asking for some advice but I worry that would just lead to more mocking.

That I am not having as much sex as they are—it’s actually my preference, but of course I get comments about not being able to get someone to hook up with because of my appearance, clothes, low-key personality etc.

As I’m writing this I could go on and on. I think I’ve just tried laughing with them or ignoring it, but it does really get to me. 

There’s a standard in this town that I know I don’t fit. Great body, handsome face, overall hot, witty and sarcastic sense of humor, make a lot of money in some impressive job. I am sure you know the type I am describing. 

Some of the things I can’t help (appearance), some I don’t really want to fix (hooking up a lot). My brother died of an overdose so I don’t use drugs or alcohol, which, no surprise, evokes more judgment. 

My job is my job, I like it a lot and it is meaningful to me but I’m never going to be rich.  

The problem with that is, all my friends like to take a lot of expensive vacations. I can go on some but not on all. When we go I am watching my expenses, which provokes more judgment and jokes, always delivered as if they are “kidding” but it hurts.

I started off by saying I feel like I’m back to being a bullied kid. You know, laugh it off so that they don’t see you crying. But it doesn’t feel like I am respecting myself when I do that.

If I speak up and ask them to stop, I just get more jokes. I am NOT taken seriously.

The idea of walking away is scary, though. Who else would I have to spend my weekends with? I am afraid of being lonely. 

I could write more but I think I’m conveying why I am feeling pretty hopeless about these friendships.

Michael replies:

I think it’s a bad idea to spend time with people who are mean or abusive toward you.

But before you walk away from your friend group, do you think it’s worth talking to them, individually, or as a group? In a serious way, without joking, laughing, or minimizing your pain so as not to make them uncomfortable. 

Their behavior sounds very junior high school, but they are adults. Telling them how their behavior affects you might lead them to confront themselves, but it might not.

You didn’t write anything about what you actually like about these friends. Is it just that they allow you to spend time with them? Or do they have some good qualities? Getting clear about this would help you figure out if you want to push for change here.

I know what you mean about “the standard” in D.C. (and very likely in other locations).  I hear from clients over and over about the hierarchy of attractiveness and success. When people don’t feel they measure up, it is easy to feel less-than, and invisible. 

There are lots of reasons why gay men can be mean to other gay men. (Of course, everyone can be mean, and for all sorts of reasons). One biggie: it’s nice to feel like part of the in-crowd, after growing up feeling like an outcast. But this means establishing a pecking order so that there are others to look down on and exclude. It’s understandable, all too common, and unkind.

It’s also true that the heterosexual world tends to value beauty in women and financial success in men. Gay men hit themselves with a double whammy, glorifying both.

Still, you’re not going to single-handedly change the problematic aspects of gay culture.  You may be able to influence some of your friends, however. That remains to be seen, and would take some courage on your part if you want to tackle that.

It does sound like it’s time for you to make some new friends. This may seem even more scary than speaking up to the friends you have, but it also might give you a sense that you are taking control of your life.   

True, in D.C. (and elsewhere), there are a lot of gay men focused on the attributes you say you lack. But “the scene” is not the only game in town. There also have to be a good number of guys out there who are looking for other qualities that you may possess, and that you may also admire in others. These are the people for you to find and befriend.

I can’t tell you exactly how to go about that. You’re going to have to be creative and try some new things. Activity groups, hobbies that involve other people, sports. You never know whom you might meet, where. Don’t forget that you might enjoy meeting and hanging out with people who aren’t gay, as well.

You didn’t mention anything about looking for love in your life. Maybe that’s not your interest; maybe you don’t feel like adequate partner material (if so, I hope you will work to challenge that belief); or maybe you’re doing just fine in that area. I don’t know.  But if you would like to find a good guy, I hope that widening your field will help.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, New York, and all PSYPACT states. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Real Estate

With gas prices soaring again, a staycation is a good plan

Home can be your personal retreat and your own private resort

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Retreat to your own deck or backyard for an affordable, stress-free staycation. (Photo by Artazum LLC/Bigstock)

When airfare costs more than your monthly utility bill and a weekend road trip requires a second mortgage just to fill the gas tank, many homeowners are discovering an unexpected luxury: the staycation.

A staycation isn’t settling for less—it’s reaping the benefits of one of the biggest investments you can make: your home. Much more than a place to sleep, it’s your personal retreat, your gathering place and, with a little preparation, your very own private resort.

Whether you own a single-family home, a townhouse, or a condo, creating a memorable staycation starts with appreciating what made you fall in love with your property in the first place.

Start with a home refresh. Think about checking into a beautiful vacation rental. It’s spotless, organized, and inviting. You can recreate that same feeling by spending a day preparing your home before your staycation officially begins.

Clear away clutter, deep clean the bathrooms and kitchen, wash the windows, and put fresh linens on every bed – even if you’re not expecting guests. Fluff the pillows, light a favorite candle, and place fresh flowers on the table. These small touches instantly make your home feel more luxurious.

If your budget allows, hiring a professional cleaning service can be one of the best staycation perquisites you make. After all, vacation should begin the moment you wake up and not after you’ve spent the day scrubbing floors.

Treat your staycation like a real trip. Set away messages on your phone and out of office notices on your email. Skip unnecessary chores for a few days. Giving yourself permission to relax may be the most valuable part of the entire experience.

One of the greatest advantages homeowners have over travelers is private outdoor living space. Whether it’s a spacious backyard, a screened porch, a rooftop terrace, or a cozy condo balcony, these areas can become the centerpiece of your staycation.

Stringing lights and adding comfortable seating, colorful planters, and outdoor rugs can completely transform the atmosphere without spending thousands of dollars. Add a portable fire pit, a tabletop fountain, or a hammock, and suddenly your backyard starts competing with many resorts.

Host an evening cookout, organize a game night, invite neighbors over for dessert, or gather around the fire pit for conversation after sunset. These simple moments often become the memories we treasure most.

Inside, transform your family room into a home theater complete with popcorn and comfortable blankets. Turn your breakfast room into a morning coffee café. Designate a quiet reading corner where phones are prohibited. Create a spa-like bathroom with plush towels, candles, bath salts, and relaxing music.

One of the highlights of traveling is experiencing new food. Instead of dining out every night, create themed dinners inspired by your favorite destinations. Prepare homemade Italian pasta one evening, Caribbean grilled seafood another, or a backyard Texas barbecue over the weekend. For a touch of whimsy, dress the part.

Pair each meal with music and libations from the region and enjoy dinner outdoors whenever possible. Suddenly, your dining room becomes part of the vacation experience instead of just another place to eat.

Families with children can turn a staycation into an adventure by seeing their home through a child’s eyes. Set up a backyard camping experience with a tent, flashlights, and s’mores around the fire pit. Transform the living room into an indoor campground complete with sleeping bags and a movie under a blanket “fort.” Organize a backyard Olympics with relay races, water balloon tosses, scavenger hunts, or miniature golf using household items. 

Encourage children to plan a family picnic in the backyard or on the patio, choose a theme for a movie marathon, or help prepare meals inspired by countries they’d like to visit someday. The goal is to create experiences your children will remember long after summer is over.

Enjoy the amenities you already pay for. Condominium communities and many planned neighborhoods offer amenities that residents often overlook.

Swimming pools, fitness centers, tennis and pickleball courts, walking trails, clubhouses, grilling stations, and community gardens are designed to enhance your lifestyle. During your staycation, make a point of exploring everything your community offers. You may discover you’ve been living beside your own private resort all along.

Real estate professionals often talk about resale value, appreciation, and return on investment. While those things certainly matter, there’s another return that’s harder to measure: the enjoyment you get from living in your home every day.

You don’t need a boarding pass to recharge. You don’t need a hotel reservation to make memories. Sometimes the perfect getaway is the one you already own.


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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