The path away from substance abuse is laden with hazards, a minefield where the misstep of a moment can detonate a crisis after years of hard-won progress. 

For those soldiering through the haze alone, quite frequently the case of isolated LGBTQ people who have suffered years of isolating trauma, several important important book bear unflinching witness and offer purposeful guidance — helping illuminate a way out of addiction’s oblivion. These books are particularly important to people who are not yet ready to ask for him, giving the reader private guidance on their own terms, at their own speed. These books mind the reader that they have not journeyed too far away from their authentic selves, and that their surrender to alcohol, drugs, and compulsive behaviors can be overcome. 

These books range from Dustin Dunbar’s searing memoir “You’re Doing Great! And Other Lies Alcohol Told Me” (Central Recovery Press) to total abstinence and moderation guides like “Soberish” (HarperOne) by Kayla Lyons.

For those ambivalent about quitting entirely or simply seeking to reset an unhealthy relationship with substances, Kayla Lyons offers a millennial-focused, non-judgmental guidebook in “Soberish” (HarperOne). 

Avoiding the severe strictures of total abstinence, Lyons opens with the inclusive query “Are you ready to take your power back from alcohol?” Whether answering with a resounding “yes” to getting booze-free or a tentative “maybe” to finding moderation, her book provides an arsenal of evidence-based tools – from cold exposure therapy to sound healing and beyond – to chart a compassionate course for creating a moderate, self-determined drinking practice or kicking the habit entirely. By grounding readers in the psychology of substance use, walking them through backsliding risks, and encouraging them to rebuild an alcohol-free identity, Lyons attempts to launch a “sober-ish” movement tailored to the modern age.

LGBTQ readers struggling with the triple-threat of meth, sex and identity problems will find candid perspective and support from David Fawcett’s “Lust, Men, and Meth” (Hazelden). With insights blended from addiction and sex therapy, the book explores how methamphetamine can hijack the brain’s dopamine systems governing mood, sex drive and compulsive behaviors. Through explicit case studies, Fawcett examines the vulnerabilities of some gay men who turn to meth to soothe feelings of disconnection, unattractiveness or being left out of the community – only to then confront serious issues from HIV/AIDS to the erosion of their sexual selves. 

But the book moves beyond profiling the problem to providing solutions, equipping readers (and their helping professionals) with therapeutic tools and strategies for managing the recovery process. With increased distance from the drug, readers delve through a reckoning with powerful emotions like shame that meth once allowed them to bury, and ultimately rebuilding their relationships, identities and capacity for fulfilling sexual expression.

The harrowing “My Suicide Race” (Zinnia Books) by Mark Turnipseed lays bare the often-unseen connections between addiction, self-harm and sexuality trauma. At the tender age of six, Turnipseed internalized the soul-crushing message from his religious community that being gay made him destined for eternal damnation. His confusion and self-hatred set him on a devastating trajectory of alcoholism, drug abuse, prostitution and suicide attempts as he tried to become the straight boy he thought he was supposed to be.

Turnipseed spares no detail in this honest debut memoir, taking readers inside the tormented mind of an addict and trauma survivor in full denial, upending the lives of everyone who loved him. Only after surviving numerous relapses did he finally find a surprising key to saving himself – extreme physical challenges like training for a triathlon provided an avenue to rebuild self-acceptance and authenticity. While heartbreaking in its candor, Turnipseed’s book offers hope that even those who struggle for years can overcome the addictions so often brought on by shame and self-loathing. 

For loved one’s desperate to intervene and lacking tools beyond tough love, Brad Lamm’s “How to Help the One You Love” (Central Recovery Press) equips readers with concrete, myth-busting steps to pull someone back from the brink of self-destructive behaviors, be they alcohol, gambling, drugs or otherwise. 

Bucking the “let them hit bottom” approach of the ages, Lamm objects.

Opening with a stinging wake-up call – “Is your husband drinking himself to death?” – Lamm insists that worried spouses, parents and friends can actually wield tremendous power to change people through urgent action, countering the abstinent approach of passively watching and waiting for the addict to hit rock bottom. 

Dividing his book into sections like “Understand” and “Engage,” Lamm provides a roadmap for initiating productive confrontations, avoiding enabling behaviors, and operating through a framework of love and accountability rather than shame and punishment. 

For those unwilling to endure abuse or watch their loved one spiral indefinitely, Lamm’s guide promises a possible path forward from desperation.

Though the path away from addiction’s torment is strewn with obstacles, these authors inscribe stepstones toward the light — reminders that even those battered by years of struggle and self-loathing can find rebirth. Their words hold open the gates of ​​recovery for all willing to undertake the journey, bright beacons cutting through the haze and reaffirming that redemption awaits for any who reclaim their authenticity. With rawness, wisdom, and compassion, they extend a hopeful hand to those wandering the swamps of alcoholism, substance abuse, toxic behaviors, and who wish to find their way home to their true selves once more.

Breathe Life Healing Center offers provides evidence-based clinical care in a supportive environment for transformation and change.

John had it all – a thriving event production company, a team of talented employees, and a reputation as the go-to guy for staging the most dazzling festivals and parties in major markets throughout the US and Canada.

As the company’s CEO and co-founder, John had built the company from the ground up with help of two business partners. Together, they had created something truly unique and robust – but beneath the surface, John battled demons that threatened to destroy him and everything he and his partners had worked so hard to build.

It started innocently enough – a bump of meth here, a drink there – anything to keep the energy and creativity flowing. “I was always one of those people who could try anything and stop,” he told the Los Angeles Blade.

But before long, John found himself in the grip of a full-blown addiction. He was sometimes zooming into the office rather than take the elevator 3 floors below from his apartment, missing important meetings, and making erratic decisions that put the entire company at risk.
At first, John tried to hide his struggle from his partners and employees, putting on a brave face and pretending everything was fine. As time when on, so did his partners and key employees, trying hard to save face. But as his addiction spiraled out of control, John’s once-sparkling world had dulled to a hazy grey visible to everyone. He began experiencing suicidal depression and looked scared and addled and was unable to see a way out.

As an LGBTQ individual, John was no stranger to adversity. He had somehow managed to remain HIV negative while most of his friends didn’t; he battled discrimination and prejudice throughout his life, but had always managed to flick it away. Now, however, he was facing a battle that felt increasingly uphill because it was a battle against himself, his own demons.

“For me, the bottom was when my entire staff and my partners held a meeting and threatened to walk,” John said. “I will never forget coming into the office only to find my mother and sister, my business partners, my staff and an intervention person: it was literally like the TV show “Intervention,” including ugly ultimatums they knew would work.”

He was whisked off to the Atlanta airport and to a facility outside of Phoenix for a one month detox and then later to Los Angeles for a 90 day program. “I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I just knew that it was a better path for me. It took some convincing but it finally made sense,” he said. “I even had business practical questions because as an entrepreneur I wasn’t sure how any of this could work: how could I take time away and regroup the staff, win my partners’ and my client’s trust back! Real questions.”

John summed it up: “But my partners both said, you won’t win us or any one else back if you remain the mess you are — we will all be broke.”

“And,” John added, “my mom reminded me to ‘be resolute,’ something I had told her when she needed to leave my father. She said, ‘those words saved my life, time to own them.’”

“Addiction doesn’t discriminate,” says Brad Lamm, founder of Breathe Life Healing Center in Los Angeles. “It doesn’t care how successful you are, how much money you make, or how many people are counting on you. It’s a disease that can take down even the strongest among us.”

For John, the turning point came when his partners confronted him about his behavior. They had noticed the changes in John’s demeanor and work ethic, and they were worried about the impact it was having on the company. It was a difficult conversation, but it was one that needed to happen.

Agreeing with his business partners about the reality of his addiction and the potential consequences for business, John knew he needed help – and fast.

But as a CEO and co-owner, he was hesitant to step away from the company for an extended period of time. He felt a deep sense of responsibility to his partners and employees, and he didn’t want to let anyone, especially his mom, down.

During his intervention he learned that under California’s labor law even as a company owner, he was protected against his own company firing him or demoting him.

Under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and the California Family Rights Act (CFRA), John was eligible for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave to seek treatment for his substance abuse.
He also learned that other laws strengthen those protections:

1. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Fair Employment and Housing Act (FEHA) prohibit discrimination against individuals with disabilities as well as individuals with substance use disorders.

2. California Gov. Newsom in 2020 signed a bill that requires employers with eligible staff members at companies with more than 5 employees (California Family Rights Act) to reasonably accommodate those who wish to enter an alcohol or drug rehabilitation program. The bill amends Labor Code section 1025, which had excluded companies with fewer than 25 employees.

3. The Affordable Care Act (ACA), requires health insurance plans to cover substance abuse treatment as an essential health benefit.

John’s partners were supportive of his decision to seek treatment, but they were also concerned about the impact his absence would have on the company. They agreed to step up and take on additional responsibilities while John was away, ensuring that the business could continue to operate smoothly.

“It was a difficult decision, but I knew I had to put my health first,” John recalls. “Knowing that my position was protected under the law gave me the peace of mind and trust I needed. And even though I realized the financial damage I had done during my worst days could result in the company’s closure, I needed to focus on me and my recovery. I had to trust that my partners could handle things in my absence, and that our clients would understand.”

John checked into a residential treatment program, where he worked with a team of specialists to confront the root causes of his addiction. It was a grueling process, full of tears and soul-searching, angry days and sleepless nights – but slowly, the fog began to lift.

As John began to heal, he also started to think about how he could create a more supportive and inclusive workplace for his employees – especially those who might be struggling with their own mental health or substance abuse issues. He worked with his partners and hired an HR team to develop new policies and programs, including a third party, confidential Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that provides confidential counseling and referral services.

“We wanted to create a culture where people felt safe and supported, no matter what they were going through,” John says. “We wanted to break down the stigma around addiction and mental health, and show our employees that it’s okay to ask for help – and that their jobs will be waiting for them when they’re ready to come back.”

Today, John is back at the helm of his company, leading alongside his partners with a newfound sense of purpose and compassion. They are vocal advocates for LGBTQ addiction awareness and mental health, using their platform to share John’s story and inspire others to seek help.

“If you are a business owner, you have a responsibility to create a workplace that is inclusive, supportive, and healthy,” John says. “That means being open and honest about our own struggles, and creating a culture where everyone feels valued and heard – and where they know that their well-being is our top priority.”

John’s journey is a powerful reminder that addiction can affect anyone, regardless of their success or status. It’s also a testament to the importance of seeking help, even when it feels impossible – and the power of having strong legal protections and a supportive network in place.

For LGBTQ individuals in particular, the barriers to treatment can be daunting. Stigma, discrimination, and a lack of culturally competent care can all make it harder to reach out for support. But there are resources available – and there is always hope.

“My journey hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it,” John says. “I’m a better leader, a better friend, and a better person because of the work I’ve done. And I’m committed to using my experience to help others find their way to recovery – and to create a world where no one has to choose between their health and their livelihood.”

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help,” John, now 8 years clean sober, his company thriving and producing several popular cultural fairs, arts and crafts festivals and corporate retreats, said.
“Don’t let shame or stigma keep you hopeless. With the right support and resources, you can overcome anything – and your job will be waiting for you when you’re ready to come back. I promise.”

For those seeking addiction treatment resources in Los Angeles County, there are many options available, including:

Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, Substance Abuse Prevention and Control (SAPC) – Provides a wide range of prevention, treatment, and recovery services for individuals with substance use disorders.

Breathe Life Healing Center offers provides evidence-based clinical care in a supportive environment for transformation and change.

A seismic shift in senior living is underway, and the epicenter is right here in Tysons. Earlier this month, The Mather opened its doors to those 62 and better, offering luxury of a different kind in an unprecedented Life Plan Community. 

The Mather, situated on nearly four acres at 7929 Westpark Drive, is a $500 million development and 293-apartment-home residence operated by Mather, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to creating Ways to Age Well^SM. The new community boasts 38,000 square feet of amenities, including multiple restaurants and a bar/lounge; a fitness center with exercise equipment, group fitness studio, and indoor pool; a luxury spa; outdoor spaces including a yoga terrace; public/private park spaces; and more.

“We’re proud to open this ‘next-gen’ Life Plan Community that defies expectations of what senior living looks like,” said Mather CEO and President Mary Leary. “The Mather is a bold reflection of our unwavering commitment to provide luxury of a different kind.”

What sets The Mather apart is the blend of international flair, high-tech services, biophilic design, and wellness-forward experiences woven throughout the community.  

International cultures are showcased throughout The Mather. A curated collection of artwork, sculptures, and antiquities from around the world reflect themes of connection, unity, and nature. Additionally, The Mather’s amenities are named to celebrate global cultures.

Each of The Mather’s three restaurants, as well as its bar and lounge, showcases cuisines from around the world, such as sushi, Berkshire Pork Bao, Mushroom Biryani, and crab cakes with mango-habanero salsita. The Mather’s food and beverage program seeks to please the most refined of palettes while adding inspired touches like a hydroponic micro-farm, onsite honey production by Italian bees, and a dedicated bake shop/pastry shop with a German-made, state-of-the-art bread oven.

In addition, The Mather uses technology throughout the community to enhance the experience. Residents can use an in-house app to sign up for programs and classes, request special cleaning or maintenance services, make restaurant reservations, and schedule spa appointments; robots are on hand to deliver restaurant orders to residents’ front doors; and custom Alexa devices support smart-home technology as well as community information.  

The Mather is pre-certified LEED Gold and pursuing WELL Building certification. Its biophilic design reflects the intersection of interior spaces and programs, with nature in an urban setting. The overall design provides sustained interaction with the natural environment. 

“Residences have open floor plans with floor-to-ceiling windows that maximize natural light,” Leary said. “And The Mather’s amenity spaces invite involvement with the outdoors to enhance well-being, whether residents are swimming laps in the saltwater pool or relaxing on zero gravity loungers in a Himalayan-sea-salt-infused breath room.”

A highlight amongst The Mather’s many wellness features is its spa, with offerings including the breath room with a Himalayan sea salt wall, a live herb wall for custom teas and treatments, an infrared sauna, a multi-sensory Gharieni Welnamis wave bed, as well as signature spa services. 

The Mather’s wellness-forward features are accentuated not only in the community’s high-end amenities, but also in its variety of programming. Residents can explore their passions and find new interests through an array of creative, social, and intellectual opportunities. Examples include a salon series with Smithsonian curators, nature immersion programs, creative sessions with area teaching artists, and sensory pool experiences with live music and meditation.

The Mather is surrounded by three acres of green space, offering residents opportunities to enjoy an urban lawn for concerts, a dog park, badminton and bocce courts, and walking paths with seating areas and sculptures.

The Mather’s apartment homes range from 800 to 3,300 square feet, and feature expansive views, high-end finishes, and innovative smart-home technology. Pricing includes a one-time entrance fee (starting at $650,000) that is 90 percent refundable to the resident or resident’s estate, and a monthly service fee. Prices are based on apartment size, view, service package, and health plan selected.

All of this adds up to a community that has broken new ground in senior living. A place where the gorgeous interiors and breathtaking décor are matched by the richness of quality programs, services, and offerings, and all are designed to enhance residents’ lifestyles. That is truly luxury of a different kind.