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Va. guv’s former in-law stumps for LGBT rights
Trans woman asks McDonnell to support bias protections
A transgender Virginia woman is drawing media attention for her role in LGBT activism — and her familial ties to Gov. Bob McDonnell.
Robyn Deane of Midlothian, Va., is gaining notoriety for calling on McDonnell, her former brother-in-law, to come out in support of LGBT non-discrimination protections in Virginia.
“It’s just absurd that we have the issues that we have today,” she told the Blade. “I don’t want anybody to be discriminated [against] on any basis other than their ability to do a job, their qualifications for their job, their performance on the job.”
Virginia is among the 29 states where workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation remains legal. It’s also among the 38 states where such discrimination based on gender identity remains legal. McDonnell, a Republican, has said he doesn’t support legislation that would bar discrimination against LGBT people in state and public employment.
Deane, 55, was married to Ellen Gardner, the sister of Virginia’s first lady, Maureen McDonnell, for 17 years. They divorced in 1999 after Deane came out as transgender. The two have three adult children, ages 26, 22 and 19.
On April 21, in a rally at Capital Square, Deane addressed her ties to the McDonnell family and recalled how her coming out process showed him “the impact that all of this coming out and being who we are can have on one’s life.”
“He had a front-row, center seat because it is his family that was directly affected,” she said at the time.
The Washington Post published a profile of her last week that reviewed the impact she’s having.
Deane, who works as a store department supervisor for The Home Depot, said she’s received calls and more attention since the Post published its article, but her activism is “really about the cause.”
“I’m just the person that happens to have been related, or knew Bob, for all these years,” she said.
Stacey Johnson, a McDonnell spokesperson, said McDonnell’s relationship with Deane is “a personal matter” and that “the governor wishes Robyn the very best.”
Terry Mansberger, president of the Virginia Partisans, a statewide LGBT Democratic group, said Deane’s visibility is helpful and “puts the spotlight on the issue, especially for transgender people.”
“I’m not so sure how much it’s going to do to sway McDonnell, but he did campaign on a platform of being moderate, so this is a good opportunity for him to show support within his own family,” Mansberger said.
Mansberger said he hasn’t spoken with Deane since she emerged in activism, but is hoping to get her involved in Virginia Partisans.
But David Lampo, vice president of the Virginia Log Cabin Republicans, expressed skepticism about Deane’s motives and said her “publicity campaign is more about self promotion than moving GLBT rights forward.”
“Certainly, the people we need most to change their minds on this issue will be totally put off by this campaign and perceive it as an effort to embarrass the governor,” Lampo said. “A behind-the-scenes effort would have made more sense from a strategic perspective, but now it’s too late for that.”
Although she said she hasn’t spoken with McDonnell in more than a decade, Deane noted that she previously had conversations with him when she was married to his sister-in-law.
“We never really agreed philosophically,” she said. “I’m a Christian, and he is, so we come at it from different angles, and he’d say that he’ll pray for me because of something I said.”
Deane said McDonnell’s ties to conservative politics are well known because of his affiliation with Regent University School of Law, where he earned his law degree.
Still, Deane said she considered McDonnell a good friend until her divorce and said their families often visited each other when they lived nearby in McLean, Va.
“Because we’re of a similar age, and really education, it was always interesting talking,” she said. “You could have a conversation with him and you didn’t get chastised for feeling different. You could have a conversation that took on some meaningful discussion, almost where you could agree to disagree.”
Deane recalled that upon coming out as transgender, her former wife didn’t take the news well and the ensuing divorce divided their families.
As an activist, though, Deane said McDonnell should be a focus for LGBT activists in Virginia because of his position as governor and because he’s well regarded in conservative circles.
“He has that connection to the right and because they trust him, or at least they seemingly do, he’s in a unique position to make a difference,” she said, “because he’s witnessed what happens to a family when someone comes out.”
Milton, Del., will host its Pride Fest this Saturday with the theme “Small Town, Big Heart.” The town’s population of just over 3,000 is in its sixth year hosting Pride.
The event is hosted by Sussex Pride and Milton Theatre and will take place from 4-8 p.m. in the area surrounding the theater. Admission is pay-what-you-can and proceeds will support the Milton Theatre’s education wing campaign, an initiative dedicated to expanding arts education and creating spaces for the next generation of performers and artists.
The musical act schedule includes Goldstar at 4 p.m., Magnolia Applebottom and Friends at 5:30 p.m., and Mama’s Blacksheep at 6:45 p.m. There will be vendors, food trucks, and a Kids Fest with an inflatable obstacle course.
“In our little corner of the world, LOVE leads the way! Milton Pride 2025 is a celebration for EVERYONE — neighbors, families, allies, and friends — because acceptance, kindness, and community belong to us all,” Milton Theatre’s website reads. “Whether you’re here to cheer, learn, or simply feel the joy … you’re welcome exactly as you are. Let’s come together and celebrate Milton, a SMALL TOWN … with a BIG HEART!”
District of Columbia
Drive with Pride in D.C.
A new Pride-themed license plate is now available in the District, with proceeds directly benefiting local LGBTQ organizations.
Just in time for Pride month, the D.C. Department of Motor Vehicles has partnered with the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs to create a special “Pride Lives Here” license plate.
The plate, which was initially unveiled in February, has a one-time $25 application fee and a $20 annual display fee. Both fees will go directly to the Office of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning Affairs Fund.
The MOLGBTQA Fund provides $1,000,000 annually to 25,000 residents through its grant program, funding a slew of LGBTQ organizations in the DMV area — including Capital Pride Alliance, Whitman-Walker, the D.C. Center for the LGBTQ Community, and the Washington Blade Foundation.
The license plate features an inclusive rainbow flag wrapping around the license numbers, with silver stars in the background — a tribute to both D.C.’s robust queer community and the resilience the LGBTQ community has shown.
The “Pride Lives Here” plate is one of only 13 specialty plates offered in the District, and the only one whose fees go directly to the LGBTQ community.
To apply for a Pride plate, visit the DC DMV’s website at https://dmv.dc.gov/
The nation’s capital welcomed WorldPride this past weekend, a massive celebration that usually takes place in a different city every two years.
The Saturday parade attracted hundreds of thousands of people from around the world and the country. The state of Delaware, a few hours drive from D.C., saw participants in the parade, with CAMP Rehoboth, an LGBTQ community center in Rehoboth Beach, hosting a bus day trip.
Hope Vella sits on the board of directors and marched with CAMP Rehoboth. Vella said that although the parade took a long time to start and the temperature was hot, she was “on a cloud” from being there.
“It didn’t matter to me how long it took to start. With the current changes that are in place regarding diversity and inclusion, I wanted my face there,” Vella said. “My life is an intersection. I am a Black woman. I am a lesbian, and I have a disability. All of these things are trying to be erased … I didn’t care how long it took. I didn’t care how far it was going to be. I was going to finish that parade. I didn’t care how hot it was.”
The nearly two mile parade route didn’t feel as long because everyone was so happy interacting with the crowd, Vella said. The group gave out beads, buttons, and pins to parade watchers.
“The World Pride celebration gave me hope because so many people came out. And the joy and the love that was between us … That gave me hope,” Vella said.
Vella said that people with disabilities are often overlooked. More than one in four Americans have disabilities, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Vella said it was important for her “to be out there and to be seen in my wholeness as a Black woman, as a lesbian, as a woman with a disability and to not be hiding. I want our society to understand that we exist in LGBTQ+ spaces also.”
Retired Maj. Gen. Tammy Smith is involved with CAMP Rehoboth and marched with a coalition of LGBTQ military members. Smith said they were walking to give transgender military members visibility and to remind people why they are serving.
“When we are not visible, what is allowed to take our place is stereotypes,” Smith said. “And so without visibility, people think all veterans are conservative and perhaps not open to full equality. Without visibility, they might think a small state with a farming background may be a place that’s unwelcoming, but when you actually meet the people who are from those places, it sets aside those stereotypes and the real authenticity is allowed to come forward.”
During the parade, Smith said she saw trans military members in the parade make eye contact or fist bump with transgender people in the crowd.
“They were seen. Both sides were seen during that parade and I just felt privileged to be able to witness that,” Smith said.
Smith said Delaware is a state that is about freedom and equality and is the first state for a reason. The LGBTQ community is engrained as part of life in the Rehoboth and Lewes areas.
“What pride means to me is that we must always be doing what is necessary to maintain our dignity as a community,” Smith said. “We can’t let what people with negative messaging might be tossing our way impact us and the celebration of Pride. I don’t see it as being self-promoting. I see it as an act of dignity and strength.”
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