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Queery: Bill Gray

20 questions with the D.C. gay bar mainstay

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Bill Gray, gay news, Washington Blade

Bill Gray (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Bill Gray is in a period of transition. He left EFN Lounge/Motley Bar shortly before it closed abruptly last week and is formulating a potential new business plan he calls Grind Espresso Bar. But he wants to find co-partners before proceeding. The 34-year-old Philadelphia native earned a business degree in Pittsburgh but returned to Philly where he opened seven Jazz & Java coffee shops in the region between 1997 and 2005. The chain was eventually sold to Saxbys.

Gray moved to D.C. in the summer of 2005 but then moved to Tuscon, Ariz., for about a year (2006 mostly) before settling in Washington in early 2007, where he became a staple bartender of the local gay scene having mixed drinks at several bars and clubs before taking the reins at EFN Lounge/Motley about 18 months ago. Several of his relocation decisions have been motivated by love, which led him to relocate both to Arizona and D.C. “I think I was raised to be an Italian housewife,” he says. “Just kidding, though that is why I moved to Arizona for my boyfriend at the time who was an engineer. I did what I felt was right for my family at the time.”

He admits to being a hopeless romantic and is in a new relationship now but doesn’t want to talk details. He says hardcore chiseled abs — Gray’s are displayed in all their glory on his Facebook page — are “not that difficult to get; I learned a long time ago that abs are mainly hidden because of diet, not how many crunches I can do. I try to eat a balanced diet and stay away from overeating, but I definitely have a weakness for chocolate and ice cream. I inhale the stuff.”

Gray says being a successful bartender is more about personality, being genuine and making good drinks than being a pretty face. He went through a few bumpy years with his family after coming out but says they came around after a few years of missed holidays. Gray lives in Thomas Circle and loves working out at Vida, spending long hours with his boyfriend watching old movies, window shopping, coffee tasting and going to spots outside the gayborhood. He’s ready to start the next chapter of his professional life and says, “the sky is the limit.”

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I have been out for 17 years. The hardest person to tell was definitely my mother. I went away to college in ’93 and wrote her a letter apologizing for being gay and I understood if she and Dad didn’t want me around. I had multiple suicide attempts before writing that letter to the point where I had to come out for my sanity. I was rejected at first and welcomed eventually.

Who’s your gay hero?
I have a few gay heroes. Professionally, I admire anybody who steps out in business and makes it; most notably David von Storch of Vida Fitness and Thomas McGuire of WorkSpaces. I also admire everyone who has served in our military under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” They have more strength and courage than anyone I know.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
Good question. I am just going to personalize this. I have the best time when I go to event-driven parties. I’ve been a bartender and have worked at most of the nightspots in this city. I loved working at Cobalt when I first arrived in D.C., I loved the family feel of working at Nellie’s, I loved the energy at Town. I loved the sense of accomplishment at EFN/Motley. In my opinion, there is no “best” nightspot. I do enjoy all of the spots but tend to make my choice based on what event is going on, which seems to be the trend in D.C.

Describe your dream gay wedding.
I think what most people don’t know about me is that I am a hopeless romantic. My dream wedding would take place in a locale that is conservative with friends and family. I think I will be the one proposing because I am the type to set up the romantic proposal setting.

What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?
The medical reform that our president pushed through Congress.

What historical outcome would you change?
The assassination of JFK.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
MTV!

On what do you insist?
Expressing an informed opinion before making assertions.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
“Saying Goodbye for Now …”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“Gray’s EFN Anatomy”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I am very happy with the way God has created me. I would choose God over science in this instance.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
My heart/soul/spirit will be all I have for eternity. I have to live everyday with those three things in mind.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
My advice is simple and seems to work for most: “You attract more flies with honey rather than vinegar.”

What would you walk across hot coals for?
My family.

What gay stereotype annoys you most?
I have embraced all facets of our community. Stereotypes certainly apply to some. I would say the inability to be monogamous.

What’s your favorite gay movie?
I used to volunteer with the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in Philly so I have seen a bunch. I would have to say “Touch of Pink” is one of my favorites. I also liked “It’s My Party,” but it makes me cry too much.

What’s the most overrated social custom?
I remember being a child and my mother would scold me if I didn’t remove my hat when I entered a home. I think that is pretty overrated.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?
Two off the top of my head. I was voted Best Bartender in D.C. in 2008 by City Paper. That meant a lot to me as it wasn’t just the gay community. I was recently named the Community Partner of the Year by the Non-Profit Al Sura.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That everything I did at that age would impact my future as significantly as it has.

Why Washington?
I moved here for love. I always follow my heart above all else. My next career will hopefully keep me here as I have grown attached to the city.

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Real Estate

Does Pride decor resemble Trump’s design aesthetic?

Glitter, gold, and rejecting the idea that a home should be understated

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Trump’s White House decor features an astonishing amount of tacky gold leaf. (White House photo public domain)

Interior design is often a balancing act between taste, personality, and restraint. Sometimes, however, restraint leaves the building entirely. Such is the case when the colorful exuberance of gay Pride-inspired decorating collides with the famously excessive decorating style associated with the current occupant of the White House. The result can be a fascinating study in maximalism, spectacle, and unapologetic visual overload.

Donald Trump’s personal decorating style has long been a subject of debate among designers and critics. Admirers see luxury and grandeur. Critics see something else: a dizzying display of gold leaf, marble, mirrors, crystal, and oversized furnishings that often crosses the line from elegant into what many designers would call tacky. More is rarely enough. If one chandelier sparkles, three are better. If a room has gold accents, why not make every available surface gold? (See Oval Office and ballroom rendition for details.)

In many ways, this excess shares common ground with certain Pride celebrations. Pride has never been about blending into the background. It celebrates visibility, self-expression, individuality, and joy. Rainbow colors, dramatic costumes, glitter, flamboyant artwork, and bold statements have long been part of Pride culture. Yet there is an important difference. Pride’s extravagance is often playful, self-aware, and rooted in personal expression, while Trump’s aesthetic has frequently been criticized for equating luxury with sheer quantity and visual intensity.

Combining these influences creates an interior that could best be described as “glamorous chaos.”

Imagine entering a living room in which gold-trimmed mirrors stretch from floor to ceiling. Crystal chandeliers hang above a bright rainbow velvet sectional. Marble floors gleam beneath metallic furniture that appears determined to reflect every available light source. Pride flags become framed artwork surrounded by ornate gold moldings. A room designed this way doesn’t whisper. It shouts.

Color is central to the concept. Pride-inspired interiors often embrace the full spectrum of colors. Trump’s style, meanwhile, traditionally favors cream, gold, black, and glossy finishes. Combining them means introducing vivid jewel tones against a backdrop of faux-palatial luxury. Emerald green chairs, ruby-red draperies, sapphire-blue accent walls, and gold-trimmed furniture can coexist in a way that feels deliberately theatrical.

The key word is theatrical.

Many professional designers spend years learning how to create visual balance. A Pride-meets-Trump interior intentionally ignores many of those rules. Pattern competes with pattern. Shine competes with shine. Artwork competes with furniture. The eye rarely gets a chance to rest. For some homeowners, that sounds exhausting. For others, it sounds like the perfect party.

Lighting offers another opportunity to embrace excess. Crystal chandeliers, mirrored lamps, illuminated shelves, and color-changing LED lighting can transform a room into something resembling a cross between a luxury hotel lobby and a Pride festival. The goal is not subtlety. The goal is spectacle.

A dining room inspired by this combination might feature a massive glass table, gold dining chairs, rainbow floral arrangements, mirrored walls, and enough crystal accessories to keep a polishing cloth busy year-round. Critics would call it gaudy. Fans would call it fabulous.

Artwork becomes particularly important. Pride-themed pieces featuring LGBTQ+ history, activism, and culture can provide meaning beneath the decorative excess. Without these personal and cultural elements, the room risks becoming little more than a collection of expensive looking, but not necessarily expensive, objects. Pride design can work best when it reflects identity and community rather than simply displaying color for color’s sake.

While normally a haven for restful sleep, bedrooms can take a similar approach. Plush velvet fabrics, oversized tufted headboards, metallic and mirrored finishes, colorful accent lighting, and dramatic artwork create a space that feels more like a boutique hotel suite than a traditional bedroom. Again, the challenge is avoiding the temptation to add one more decorative element to an already crowded visual landscape.

What makes this design combination interesting is that both aesthetics reject the idea that a home should be understated. Both embrace visibility. Both invite attention. Both encourage occupants to take up space unapologetically. Yet where Pride design often celebrates authenticity and self-expression, Trump’s decorating style is frequently criticized for prioritizing conspicuous luxury over cohesion and refinement.

The result is an interior style that many people would consider delightfully outrageous and others would consider a decorating nightmare. Either way, nobody is likely to forget it.

In the end, a Pride-inspired interpretation of Donald Trump’s famously over-the-top aesthetic would be colorful, glittering, excessive, and impossible to ignore. It would break nearly every rule of minimalist design while embracing the philosophy that if something is worth doing, it is worth overdoing. Whether one sees that as fabulous or tacky may depend entirely on how much gold leaf and rainbow velvet one can tolerate in a single room.


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed associate broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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Autos

Cool convertibles

Drop-tops to rev up the summer

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From left, the Mini Cooper and the Mazda MX-5 Miata.

Ragtops rock! For drivers looking to carve their own lane, the world already has enough sensible crossovers, minivans, and pickups. These three convertibles trade practicality for sunshine, wind, and the occasional wild-hair day. 

BMW Z4 

$58,000

MPG: 25 city/33 highway

0 to 60 mph: 5.2 seconds

Trunk space: 10.0 cu. ft. 

PROS: Strong engines. Uber comfy. Stylish. 

CONS: Expensive. Final year of production.  

Act fast, Bimmer fans, this is the last year the BMW Z4 roadster will be produced. Along with the entry-level xDrive30i and high-performing M40i, there is a Final Edition model.

Since 2002, the Z4 has expertly balanced performance, comfort, and style. The long hood and short rear deck still look fantastic. The stance is athletic. And with the top down, this car gains an extra dose of drama.

Under the hood, BMW offers turbo power that feels eager rather than overwhelming. Acceleration is brisk. The steering precise. The chassis composed. 

Upgrading to the premium models lets you scoot from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.9 seconds. But—ka-ching!—the MSRP soars to $79,000.

Available in manual or automatic transmissions, this convertible can sprint through mountain roads on Saturday and soothingly devour highway miles on Sunday.

As for the interior, it blends luxury and functionality. Materials feel expensive. Controls are easy to use. And the seats are supportive. 

For me, other ragtops may be more party hearty, but the Z4 is low-key, impeccably tailored and still the center of attention. Think suave James Bond versus sparkling RuPaul. 

MAZDA MX-5 MIATA

$32,000

MPG: 26 city/35 highway

0 to 60 mph: 5.5 seconds

Trunk space: 5.0 cu. ft. 

PROS: Nimble. Lightweight. Affordable. 

CONS: So-so power. Wind noise. Limited space

For decades, the Mazda MX-5 Miata has followed a simple formula: Keep it light, keep it balanced and make every drive feel special. The result: Automotive comfort food that never gets old.

Many vehicles grow larger every year, but the Miata has remained Lilliputian in a way that feels rebellious. You sit low. The controls are user-friendly. Visibility is excellent. 

No, the engine power won’t blow you away. But this beachcomber isn’t about brute force. It’s about how the Miata makes you feel wonderfully alive, whether tootling along city streets or a winding road. 

Inside, the dashboard is sparse but echoes a traditional sports car. Large analog tachometer and analog speedometer. And while the 8.8-inch infotainment display is dinky, it works nicely. 

Alas, storage is limited. The cabin is snug. And taller drivers may wish for a bit more room.

Yet somehow even those compromises feel almost charming. This ride knows exactly what it is and refuses to apologize. Sort of like showing up to Pride wearing what makes you happy rather than chasing trends.

MINI COOPER

$27,000

MPG: 28 city/39 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.9 seconds

Trunk space: 5.2 cu. ft. 

PROS: Playful styling. Fun handling. Extra stowage. 

CONS: Ride can be firm. Not a speed demon.   

Mini Coopers approach life with a wink and a grin. Rounded headlights. Compact dimensions. Cheerful styling. It all works to create a vehicle that looks like it’s having fun before you’ve even started the engine.

Driving this ragtop is equally entertaining. The steering is quick, and the chassis feels eager to please. Overall performance is lively rather than blistering. 

The cabin leans heavily into Mini’s playful design language. Circular elements appear throughout. Details feel intentionally quirky. Many modern interiors seem created by committees that fear excitement. This cabin feels designed by someone who enjoys color, personality and perhaps spontaneous dance breaks.

Unlike the BMW Z4 and Mazda Miata, the Mini offers a small rear seat. “Small” is doing some heavy lifting there, but the extra space adds flexibility. It may not be enough room to comfortably squeeze in friends, but you can easily stow a few bags here.  

To me, driving this convertible feels like attending the world’s friendliest block party. People notice it. People smile. Sometimes people even wave.

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Real Estate

The advantages of owning your home

Looking beyond the financial perspective

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Renovating and customizing your home is just one advantage of homeownership. (Photo by Artazum LLC/Bigstock)

While one would hope it’s easy to calculate a break-even point for a home purchase – such as you could calculate for “how many widgets a month do I need to sell to break even?”  It’s not always easy when looking at the return on investment for a home purchase. Condo buildings can lose a view due to new construction next door. Weather patterns can expose deficiencies. Conversely, new dining and entertainment options in a neighborhood can cause home prices to skyrocket.  The addition of public transportation and employment options can make a neighborhood more desirable.  Or, as we have recently seen in the District of Columbia – an incoming presidential administration can severely affect the “vibe” of an entire city’s economy – for better or for worse.

Homeownership is not necessarily a get rich quick scheme.  Most homeowners find that staying in a house for at least 5-10 years – whether owner occupied or not, makes for a significant return on their investment.  An owner may not completely pay off a home in 10 years, but they might gain enough equity that they can receive quite a large check when they decide to sell or move.  And the old reasoning that “your apartment rental community does not cut you a sizeable check when moving out after 15 years.” still stands. Is homeownership for everyone?  Absolutely not. But many have reported other benefits besides purely financial gains. What are those benefits?

  • Feeling a sense of community.  – homeowners tend to take more pride in their buildings and neighborhoods, because they feel more invested and tend to want to protect their investment.  Neighborhood watch programs, getting to know elderly neighbors, forming building wide or cul-de-sac wide favorite TV show watch nights, super bowl parties, and other such communal and social ties lead to an overall sense of wellbeing and help to stabilize a nervous system in uncertain times.
  • Feng Shui?  Well, maybe there’s something to it. If you have been wanting to customize your own home but live in an apartment, there are many more restrictions on what you can do in a rental, than when you own your own home. Do you want new countertops?  Would you love to remove that popcorn ceiling?  Open up that kitchen?  Convert the back yard into a curated patio/cold plunge/hot tub time machine cookout/spring break adventure campsite of your wildest dreams? 
  • Forming longer lasting relationships  – sharing that CostCo membership with others on your floor, making a pan of lasagna and inviting the neighbors over for dinner, picking your neighbor’s brain for stock investment advice, asking your neighbor’s son to help you create a marketing plan for your new business, hosting the Friendsgiving you dreamed of – there are multitudes of reasons and ways that homeowners tend to feel a sense of community, sharing of resources, and realizing over time that “it takes a village.”  
  • Higher civic engagement – Studies have shown that homeowners tend to be more politically active in their districts, participate in local school boards, know the names of and how to contact their local representatives to affect change, etc.  Having a higher financial investment in and a commitment to stay in a neighborhood beyond just one or two years makes a big difference in who decides to show up at election time, especially for local elections. 

If you would like to know more about the research on homeownership, feel free to read the report from the National Association of Realtors here.


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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