Movies
Sacrificing self
New documentary profiles gay Naval Academy alumniĀ
‘Out of Annapolis’
Oct. 22 at 9:30 p.m.
U.S. Naval Memorial Theatre
701 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.
$15

Director Steve Clark Hall during his service days in 1982 off the coast of Connecticut. (Photo courtesy of the filmmaker)
Baltimore resident Frank McNeil remembers with a chuckle some of the tricks of the trade he and his Marine Corps buddies ā the few who were out to each other ā used to keep handy during their years at North Carolina’s Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune where he was stationed in the ’80s.
There was a gay bar in nearby Jacksonville, N.C., ironically dubbed Secrets. But partying there was too dangerous because military police would routinely troll the Secrets parking lot for cars with military stickers, trace the owners and confront them.
McNeil wormed his way out of getting busted a few times ā enough to learn Secrets was too close to home to patronize.
“‘So, Corp. McNeil, why was your car parked at a gay bar?'” McNeil remembers the conversation unfolding. “‘Uhhh, I loaned it to a friend.’ You just learned not to go out in Jacksonville, most of us went out in Wilmington, which was like an hour away. So you could go out and have fun but your guard was up, or at least mine was.”
McNeil left the military in 1991, before “Don’t’ Ask, Don’t Tell” was enacted. His story and 10 others are told in the new film “Out of Annapolis,” a documentary that will be screened as half of a double bill at the U.S. Naval Memorial Theatre in Washington Oct. 22. It’s one of three films being screened this month as a mini Reel Affirmations festival as the LGBT film marathon has moved its usual lineup from October to April.
Director Steve Clark Hall, a San Francisco Navy vet whose own story is shared in the film, says he was inspired to make the documentary because he was tired of seeing gays misrepresented.
“I’m just trying to put a real face on who we are,” Hall says. “Everything we see so misrepresents us, so we started with a website three-and-a-half years ago. Who are these people? You know, gays are always assumed to be these other people. Not people we know. Not who we are, but then all of a sudden it’s like, ‘Oh, gays are my good friends or my neighbors.'”
Hall, who spent 20 years in the Navy, says he was “about as out as one could be without having gay tattooed on my forehead. I didn’t raise my hand and say, ‘I’m gay, kick me out.’ I think it wasn’t much of a problem for me because I was always a team player. Always an asset.”
McNeil had an especially rough time keeping his personal and professional life in balance. In those pre-“Don’t Ask” years, he only confided in a “very select” group of friends about his sexual orientation. His late partner, Chris Duncan, was battling AIDS, a factor in McNeil’s eventual resignation.
“It brought a lot of mixed feelings because I really loved what I was doing, but you just couldn’t share completely,” he says. “You couldn’t have your partner’s picture out. You had to change your pronouns. ⦠There was a sense of dismay that you couldn’t quite be honest with the people you were serving.”
“Out of Annapolis” started in the summer of 2008 as an undertaking of the United States Naval Academy OUT ā a group of LGBT U.S. Naval Academy alumni and their supporters. Hall, a novice filmmaker, says the project, which included a study of the experiences of gay alumni, aims to educate the public about the experiences of gay service members before and during “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Participants were selected to give a good cross-representation of experiences. About 300 participated in the study, 75 were interviewed and 11 were chosen for the film.
“It was tough to pare it down,” Hall says. “We had some great stories we had to turn away because it would have over-represented a certain group.”
The movie debuted in New York in June and has been making the rounds of LGBT film festivals since. Hall and five others, including McNeil, will be at the D.C. screening, its local premiere.
“It’s very powerful,” says Larry Guillemette, Reel Affirmations festival chair. “I think it will resonate a great deal given the defeat our community just experienced on the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ legislation. I think it will hopefully galvanize people to get more involved.”
Perhaps ironically, Hall didn’t conceive the project as an anti-“Don’t Ask” manifesto. The policy is hardly mentioned in the film.
“Some of it is just chronology,” he says. “Some of the people we profiled served before the policy began. But the film interestingly doesn’t sit there and try to make an argument, but in some ways just hearing the stories makes it the greatest argument against ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ because people can see what it was really like trying to live under the law. We were forced to be two different people and you just can’t be.”
PHOTO: Frank McNeil at his home in Baltimore (Blade photo by Michael Key)
Movies
Intense doc offers transcendent treatment of queer fetish pioneer
āA Body to Live Inā a fascinating trip into a transgressive culture
Once upon a time in the 1940s, a teenager named Roland Loomis, who lived with his devout Lutheran parents in Aberdeen, S.D., received a hand-me-down camera from his uncle. It was a gift that would change his life.
Small and effeminate, he didnāt exactly fit with the āinā crowd of his small rural town; but he had an inner life more thrilling than anything they had to offer, anyway, and that camera became the key with which it could finally be unlocked. Waiting patiently for those precious hours when he was alone in the house, he used it to capture images of himself that expressed an identity he had only begun to explore, through furtive experiments in body manipulation that incorporated exotic costuming, erotic nudity, gender ambiguity, and what many of us might call (though he would not) self-mutilation, including the piercing of his skin and other extreme forms of physical modification.
Young Roland would go on to become famous (or perhaps, notorious) in the decades to come, but it would be under a different name: Fakir Musafar, the focal figure of filmmaker Angelo Madsenās documentary āA Body to Live In,ā which opened in Los Angeles on Feb. 27 and expands to New York this weekend.
Like Musafar himself, who died of lung cancer at 87 in 2018, itās a documentary that doesnāt quite follow the expected rules. Eschewing ātalking headā commentators and traditional narration, Madsen spins his movie from his subjectās extensive archives and allows the information to come through the voices of those who were close to him: collaborator and life partner ClĆ©o Dubois, performance artists Ron Athey and Annie Sprinkle, and underground publisher V. Vale are among the many who contribute their memories and impressions of him, while evocative photos and film footage create a hazy āslide showā effect to provide a guided tour of his life, his art, and his legacy. Less a biography than a chronicle of profoundly unorthodox self-discovery, it details his development from those early days of clandestine self-photography through a continual evolution that would see him become a performance artist, a central figure in the burgeoning BDSM culture, a seeker who espoused eroticism as a spiritual practice, the founder of a āRadical Faeriesā offshoot for the kink/fetish community, and ultimately an elder and mentor for a new generation for whom his once-taboo ideas and explorations had essentially become mainstream ā thanks in no small part to his own pioneering efforts.
Itās a fascinating, hypnotic trip into a culture which might feel disturbingly transgressive to those who have never been a part of it ā yet will almost certainly feel like being āseenā to those who have. It opens a window into a lifestyle where leather, kink, BDSM, gender play, and non-monogamous āsituationshipsā are not just accepted but viewed as natural variations on the spectrum of human sexuality; and in the middle of it all is Musafar, on a deeply personal quest to connect with the deepest part of his essence through the intense and ritualistic pursuit of an inner drive that keeps pushing him further. As one reminiscing cohort remarks during the film, itās as if he is ātrying to find an answer to a question thatā he ācannot form.ā
Indeed, it might be said that Madsenās movie is an exercise in forming that question; bringing his own ātransnessā into the mix as he examines the various aspects of Musafarās ever-evolving relationship with self, identity, and presentation, he evokes a timely resonance in which the imperative to make physical form match psychic self-perception becomes an irresistible force, and draws a direct line between his subjectās fluid ambiguity and the plight faced by modern trans people over the bigotry of those who think gender is strictly about genitalia. Perhaps the question has to do with whether we are defined by our identities or by our physical form ā or if both are malleable, adaptable, and in a constant state of flux.
In any case, with regard to Musafar, āA Body to Live Inā is unquestionably a film about transformation, not just of physical manifestation but of consciousness itself. In his journey from being little Roland, the outcast schoolboy with a secret fetish, to Fakir, the spiritual psychonaut for whom sex and gender are only walls that separate us from a true and eternal essence, he is embodied by Madsenās reverent documentary as a being in the process of breaking free from the restrictions of physical existence, of transcending all such distinctions by letting go of life itself ā something underscored not only by the section of the movie dealing with the impact of the AIDS epidemic on Musafarās deeply-bonded community, but by his own words, spoken in a deathbed interview that serves as a connecting thread throughout the film. We are kept unavoidably aware of the mortality which ā for Musafar at least ā seems little more than a prison that keeps us from the unfettered joy of our true nature.
But while Madsen honors his subject as a pillar ā and an under-sung hero ā of contemporary queer culture, he also addresses the aspects that made him a āproblematicā figure; in his life, he drew criticism over perceived cultural appropriation from the indigenous American tribes whose sacred rituals inspired the kink-flavored practices which facilitated his own spiritual odyssey, and which he popularized among his own acolytes to give rise to the still-controversial āModern Primitiveā movement that has been criticized by some for turning meaningful cultural traditions into an excuse for trendy fashion accessories. Even Musafarās survivors, whose love for him exudes palpably from the stories and memories they share of him throughout the film, make observations that point to his flaws; yet at the same time, Madsenās documentary makes clear that Musafar himself never saw himself as perfect, either ā just as someone willing to endure the kind of suffering that most of us might find unbearable in order to get closer to perfection.
Of course, it probably helped that he enjoyed that so-called āsuffering,ā but thatās perhaps too glib an observation in the face of a film that so clearly makes a case for the deep and sincere commitment he held for his quest for transcendence; but itās also a helpful reminder that his practices ā which might seem macabre and twisted to the uninitiated ā were also an experience of joy, an exercise in rising above pain and making it a vehicle toward enlightenment, and in achieving a deeper understanding of oneās own place in this confusing place we call the universe.
Full disclosure: āA Body to Live Inā is an intense experience, replete with candid sexual conversation, frequent nudity, and graphic scenes of extreme fetish practices ā like suspension by metal hooks through the skin ā which might be hard to handle for those who are unprepared to be confronted by them. Even so, as dark and menacing as it might be for the squeamish outsider, the world revealed in Madsenās eloquent portrait is full of treasures and steeped in dark beauty, and itās hard to imagine a more fitting way than that to portray a queer pioneer like the former Roland Loomis.
Movies
Moving doc āCome See Meā is more than Oscar worthy
Poet Laureate Andrea Gibson, wife negotiate highs and lows of terminal illness
When Colorado Poet Laureate Andrea Gibson died from ovarian cancer in the summer of 2025, the news of their passing may have prompted an outpouring of grief from their thousands of followers on social media, but it was hardly a surprise.
Thatās because Gibson ā who had risen to both fame and acclaim in the early 2000s with intense live performances of their work that made them a āsuperstarā at Poetry Slam events ā had been documenting their health journey on Instagram ever since receiving the diagnosis in 2021. During the process, they gained even more followers, who were drawn in by the reflections and explorations they shared in their daily posts. It was really a continuation, a natural evolution of their work, through which their personal life had always been laid bare, from the struggles with queer sexuality and gender they experienced in their youth to the messy relationships and painful breakups of their adult life; now, with precarious health prohibiting a return to the stage, they had found a new platform from which to express their inner experience, and their fans ā not only the queer ones for whom their poetry and activism had become a touchstone, but the thousands more who came to know them through the deep shared humanity that exuded through their online presence ā were there for it, every step of the way.
At the same time, and in that same spirit of sharing, there was another work in progress around Gibson: āCome See Me in the Good Light,ā a film conceived by their friends Tig Notaro and Stef Willen and directed by seasoned documentarian Ryan White (āAsk Dr. Ruthā, āGood Night, Oppyā, āPamela, a Love Storyā), it was filmed throughout 2024, mostly at the Colorado home shared by Gibson and their wife, fellow poet Megan Falley, and debuted at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival before a release on Apple TV in November. Now, itās nominated for an Academy Award.
Part life story, part career retrospective, and part chronicle of Gibson and Falleyās relationship as they negotiate the euphoric highs and heartbreaking lows of Gibsonās terminal illness together, itās not a film to be approached without emotional courage; thereās a lot of pain to be vicariously endured, both emotional and physical, a lot of hopeful uplifts and a lot of crushing downfalls, a lot of spontaneous joy and a lot of sudden fear. Thereās also a lot of love, which radiates not only from Gibson and Falleyās devotion and commitment to being there for each other, no matter what, but through the support and positivity they encounter from the extended community that surrounds them. From their circle of close friends, to the health care professionals that help them navigate the treatment and the difficult choices that go along with it, to the extended family represented by the community of fellow queer artists and poets who show up for Gibson when they make a triumphant return to the stage for a performance that everyone knows may well be their last, nobody treats this situation as a downer. Rather, itās a cause to celebrate a remarkable life, to relish friendship and feelings, to simply be present and embrace the here and now together, as both witness and participant.
At the same time, White makes sure to use his film as a channel for Gibsonās artistry, expertly weaving a showcase for their poetic voice into the narrative of their survival. It becomes a vibrant testament to the raw power of their work, framing the poet as a seminal figure in a radical, feminist, genderqueer movement which gave voice to a generation seeking to break free from the constraints of a limited past and imagine a future beyond its boundaries. Even in a world where queer existence has become ā yet again ā increasingly perilous in the face of systemically-stoked bigotry and bullying, itās a blend that stresses resilience and self-empowerment over tragedy and victimhood, and itās more than enough to help us find the aforementioned emotional courage necessary to turn what is ultimately a meditation on dying into a validation of life.
That in itself is enough to make āCome See Me in the Good Lightā worthy of Oscar gold, and more than enough to call it a significant piece of queer filmmaking ā but thereās another level that distinguishes it even further.
In capturing Gibson and Falley as they face what most of us like to think of as an unimaginable future, Whiteās quietly profound movie puts its audience face-to-face with a situation that transcends all differences not only of sexuality or gender, but of race, age, or economic status as well. It confronts us with the inevitability few of us are willing to consider until we have to, the unhappy ending that is rendered certain by the joyful beginning, the inescapable conclusion that has the power to make the words āhappily ever afterā feel like a hollow promise. At the center of this loving portrait of a great American artist is a universal story of saying goodbye.
Yes, there is hope, and yes, good fortune often prevails ā sometimes triumphantly ā in the ongoing war against the cancer that has come to threaten the palpably genuine love this deeply-bonded couple has found together; but they (and we) know that, even in the best-case scenario, the end will surely come. All love stories, no matter how happy, are destined to end with loss and sorrow; it doesnāt matter that they are queer, or that their gender identities are not the same as ours ā what this loving couple is going through, together, is a version of the same thing every loving couple lucky enough to hold each other for a lifetime must eventually face.
That they meet it head on, with such grace and mutual care, is the true gift of the movie.
Gibson lived long enough to see the filmās debut at Sundance, which adds a softening layer of comfort to the knowledge we have when watching it that they eventually lost the battle against their cancer; but even if they had not, what āCome See Me in the Good Lightā shows us, and the unflinching candor with which it does so, delivers all the comfort we need.
Whether thatās enough to earn it an Oscar hardly matters, though considering the notable scarcity of queer and queer-themed movies in this yearās competition it might be our best shot at recognition.
Either way, itās a moving and celebratory film statement with the power to connect us to our true humanity, and that speaks to a deeper experience of life than most movies will ever dare to do.
Movies
Radical reframing highlights the āWutheringā highs and lows of a classic
Emerald Fennellās cinematic vision elicits strong reactions
If youāre a fan of āWuthering Heightsā ā Emily BrontĆ«ās oft-filmed 1847 novel about a doomed romance on the Yorkshire moors ā itās a given youāre going to have opinions about any new adaptation that comes along, but in the case of filmmaker Emerald Fennellās new cinematic vision of this venerable classic, theyāre probably going to be strong ones.
Itās nothing new, really. BrontĆ«ās book has elicited controversy since its first publication, when it sparked outrage among Victorian readers over its tragic tale of thwarted lovers locked into an obsessive quest for revenge against each other, and has continued to shock generations of readers with its depictions of emotional cruelty and violent abuse, its dysfunctional relationships, and its grim portrait of a deeply-embedded class structure which perpetuates misery at every level of the social hierarchy.
Itās no wonder, then, that Fennellās adaptation ā a true āfangirlā appreciation project distinguished by the radical sensibilities which the third-time director brings to the mix ā has become a flash point for social commentators whose main exposure to the tale has been flavored by decades of watered-down, romanticized āreinventions,ā almost all of which omit large portions of the novel to selectively shape whatās left into a period tearjerker about star-crossed love, often distancing themselves from the raw emotional core of the story by adhering to generic tropes of āgothic romanceā and rarely doing justice to the complexity of its characters ā or, for that matter, its authorās deeper intentions.
Fennellās version doesnāt exactly break that pattern; she, too, elides much of the novelās sprawling plot to focus on the twisted entanglement between Catherine Earnshaw (Margot Robbie), daughter of the now-impoverished master of the titular estate (Martin Clunes), and Heathcliff (Jacob Elordi), a lowborn child of unknown background origin that has been āadoptedā by her father as a servant in the household. Both subjected to the whims of the elder Earnshawās violent temper, they form a bond of mutual support in childhood which evolves, as they come of age, into something more; yet regardless of her feelings for him, Cathy ā whose future status and security are at risk ā chooses to marry Edgar Linton (Shazad Latif), the financially secure new owner of a neighboring estate. Heathcliff, devastated by her betrayal, leaves for parts unknown, only to return a few years later with a mysteriously-obtained fortune. Imposing himself into Cathyās comfortable-but-joyless matrimony, he rekindles their now-forbidden passion and they become entwined in a torrid affair ā even as he openly courts Lintonās naive ward Isabella (Alison Oliver) and plots to destroy the entire household from within. One might almost say that these two are the poster couple for the phrase āitās complicated.ā and itās probably needless to say things donāt go well for anybody involved.
While there is more than enough material in āWuthering Heightsā that might easily be labeled as āproblematicā in our contemporary judgments ā like the fact that itās a love story between two childhood friends, essentially raised as siblings, which becomes codependent and poisons every other relationship in their lives ā the controversy over Fennellās version has coalesced less around the content than her casting choices. When the project was announced, she drew criticism over the decision to cast Robbie (who also produced the film) opposite the younger Elordi. In the end, the casting works ā though the age gap might be mildly distracting for some, both actors deliver superb performances, and the chemistry they exude soon renders it irrelevant.
Another controversy, however, is less easily dispelled. Though we never learn his true ethnic background, BrontĆ«ās original text describes Heathcliff as having the appearance of āa dark-skinned gipsyā with āblack fireā in his eyes; the character has typically been played by distinctly āAngloā men, and consequently, many modern observers have expressed disappointment (and in some cases, full-blown outrage) over Fennelās choice to use Elordi instead of putting an actor of color for the part, especially given the contemporary filter which she clearly chose for her interpretation for the novel.
In fact, itās that modernized perspective ā a view of history informed by social criticism, economic politics, feminist insight, and a sexual candor that would have shocked the prim Victorian readers of BrontĆ«ās novel ā that turns Fennellās visually striking adaptation into more than just a comfortably romanticized period costume drama. From her very opening scene ā a public hanging in the village where the death throes of the dangling body elicit lurid glee from the eagerly-gathered crowd ā she makes it oppressively clear that the 18th-century was not a pleasant time to live; the brutality of the era is a primal force in her vision of the story, from the harrowing abuse that forges its loversā codependent bond, to the rigidly maintained class structure that compels even those in the higher echelons ā especially women ā into a kind of slavery to the system, to the inequities that fuel disloyalty among the vulnerable simply to preserve their own tenuous place in the hierarchy. Itās a battle for survival, if not of the fittest then of the most ruthless.
At the same time, she applies a distinctly 21st-century attitude of āsex-positivityā to evoke the appeal of carnality, not just for its own sake but as a taste of freedom; she even uses it to reframe Heathcliffās cruel torment of Isabella by implying a consensual dom/sub relationship between them, offering a fragment of agency to a character typically relegated to the role of victim. Most crucially, of course, it permits Fennell to openly depict the sexuality of Cathy and Heathcliff as an experience of transgressive joy ā albeit a tormented one ā made perhaps even more irresistible (for them and for us) by the sense of rebellion that comes along with it.
Finally, while this āWuthering Heightsā may not have been the one to finally allow Heathcliffās ambiguous racial identity to come to the forefront, Fennell does employ some ācolor-blindā casting ā Latif is mixed-race (white and Pakistani) and Hong Chau, understated but profound in the crucial role of Nelly, Cathyās longtime āpaid companion,ā is of Vietnamese descent ā to illuminate the added pressures of being an āotherā in a world weighted in favor of sameness.
Does all this contemporary hindsight into the fabric of BrontĆ«ās epic novel make for a quintessential āWuthering Heights?ā Even allowing that such a thing were possible, probably not. While it presents a stylishly crafted and thrillingly cinematic take on this complex classic, richly enhanced by a superb and adventurous cast, itās not likely to satisfy anyone looking for a faithful rendition, nor does it reveal a new angle from which the āromanceā at its center looks anything other than toxic ā indeed, it almost fetishizes the dysfunction. Even without the thorny debate around Heathcliffās racial identity, thereās plenty here to prompt purists and revisionists alike to find fault with Fennellās approach.
Yet for those looking for a new window into to this perennial classic, and who are comfortable with the radical flourish for which Fennell is already known, itās an engrossing and intellectually stimulating exploration of this iconic story in a way that exchanges comfortable familiarity for unpredictable chaos ā and for cinema fans, thatās more than enough reason to give āWuthering Heightsā a chance.
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