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Queery: Ba’Naka/Dustin Schaad

The local drag favorite answers 20 gay questions

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Ba'Naka performing on 17th Street. (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Dustin Schaad — aka Ba’Naka — came to Washington in the winter of 2003 during a rough time in his life. He’d been through a breakup, couldn’t afford college and was on the outs with his parents, so he came to stay with an aunt who was here and life started improving.

The 25-year-old Bradenton, Fla., native had already started dabbling in drag. He’d been doing drag shows at a place called Triangles in Sarasota, Fla., a few nights a week. When he got to Washington, local drag legend Kristina Kelly took him under her wing and he started appearing with her at Omega and Apex occasionally then as a regular at BeBar in 2007.

As Ba’Naka — whose name came about during a middle-of-the-night Wal-Mart confrontation in his home state — Schaad’s drag star has only risen. Ba’Naka is a regular at Town and just won the drag queen favorite award in the Blade’s annual “Best Of” readers’ poll. With Town cohort Shi-Queeta-Lee, Ba’Naka was on “America’s Got Talent” a few years ago.

“Ba’Naka and Dustin are really the same people,” Schaad says. “We’re both loud and boisterous and in some ways I’m even more comfortable going out as her. Drag queens can get away with murder — all kinds of stuff I could never get away with as Dustin.”

Schaad says drag is an art form and that the LGBT community at large should appreciate queens more.

“I always remind people it was a drag queen who threw the first brick at Stonewall so everybody enjoying their gay life today has a drag queen to thank.”

By day Schaad is a buyer for Universal Gear where he’s worked for about seven years. He likes working there but also fantasizes about doing drag — which he calls a passion — full time.

Schaad enjoys fashion design, art, movies, shopping and travel and lives in Silver Spring. He’s single and now on good terms with his parents, grandparents and four younger sisters. Since he works in gay clubs — Ba’Naka co-hosts the package contest on Thursdays at Cobalt in addition to her work at Town — he can often be found on off nights at Stetson’s, a straight bar on U Street. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I came out when I was 15. The hardest person I came out to is a tie between my Grandmothers Hazel and Rose. I was afraid to tell them because these women were my rocks growing up and I was afraid that they would disapprove. I was blessed that they both accepted me with open arms.

Who’s your gay hero?

Lena Lett — she’s clever, witty and has a tongue sharper than a Ginsu knife but she is also a beacon of compassion and generosity, who’s given me many pearls of wisdom over the years.

What is Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

Of course I love where I work, Cobalt and Town, but some of my fondest nightlife memories, as blurry as they may be, are from the old BeBar Days circa ’07. I had so much fun, often followed by the worst hangovers imaginable.

Describe your dream gay wedding.

One in which I have all of my friends and family and a man that I am head over heels for — and a 29-inch waist! (Note that I will NOT have a tacky beach wedding or wear white, I mean let’s be honest.)

What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?

Prepping for the Zombie-Apocalypse … girl, I am stock piled on canned foods and have a fabulous pair of thigh-high combat boots on order.

What historical outcome would you change?

The 2000 presidential election results because seriously we all could have done without the pain, fear and suffering brought on by eight years of Bush.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The Britney/Madonna kiss … come on! Scandalous!

On what do you insist?

Condoms … men are dogs, they tend to roam and I don’t want fleas brought home.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

“The maid alphabetized my porn! Good for her!”

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Taffeta & Shattered Dreams: My life in the Tragic Queendom.”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I would personally lead a One Queen Revolution against it! I was born gay and I love my life … I wouldn’t want to be any other way.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

Really? You’re asking a drag queen about her meta-physical philosophies? No one cares what I think. Ask me about glitter and shiny things!

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Cut the crap, drop the egos. Equality is an American birthright. Focus on that.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

Justin, the love of my life. He passed away this year and I would do anything to bring him back.

What gay stereotype annoys you most?

Gay stereotypes don’t annoy me; I find them hysterical!

What’s your favorite gay movie?

“Spice World.” If that’s not a gay movie I don’t know what is.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Trust. Wait, does that make me cynical?

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

Ha! Don’t laugh, but my Pinewood Derby trophy from Cub Scouts. This sissyboy showed those manly men how it was done!

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That my metabolism would betray me age 23.

Why Washington?

I moved to D.C. in 2003 after high school. I had broken up with my boyfriend, I couldn’t afford college on my own and I desperately needed to get out of Florida. I had an aunt who lived up here and offered me a way out and I moved up and started a new adventure. I fell in love with D.C. because it gave me the chance at a new start. I love this city and I love our LGBT community. It’s home!

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Real Estate

Hidden hazards at home

Professional inspections can help catch safety issues early

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Test smoke detectors monthly and change batteries at least once a year. (Photo by Phonlamaiphoto/Bigstock)

As the spring market hits its stride, we are beginning to see more inventory and an increase in days on the market in parts of the DMV. This may result in professional home inspections becoming routine parts of contract offers again. A thorough home inspection can help catch safety issues early and is an opportunity to learn about the operation and maintenance of items in your home.

Pay attention to flickering lights, frequently tripped breakers, and discolored outlets—these are signs of potential electrical hazards. Outdated wiring, overloaded outlets, and faulty appliances can lead to electrical fires. 

Structural issues are often overlooked until it’s too late. Crumbling foundations, weak or damaged stairs, loose railings, and uneven flooring can cause trips and falls. Water damage from leaks or flooding can weaken the integrity of floors and walls, creating a risk of collapse. 

Toxic chemicals can pose serious threats to health and safety, often without obvious warning signs. Understanding and addressing these risks is crucial for maintaining a safe living environment for you and your loved ones.

Household products such as cleaners, pesticides, air fresheners, and even cosmetics can emit volatile organic compounds (VOCs). These compounds, when inhaled regularly, can cause a range of health issues including headaches, respiratory problems, hormonal disruptions, and in some cases, even cancer. To minimize these risks, homeowners should opt for low-VOC or VOC-free products, ventilate regularly, and consider investing in an air purifier. 

Formaldehyde is another common toxin found in pressed wood products, insulation, and certain paints. Long-term exposure can lead to chronic respiratory problems and has been linked to cancer. 

Radon gas, another possible carcinogen, is prevalent in the DMV. Your home inspector can do a radon test or there are DIY kits available at many hardware stores. If levels are above EPA standards, a professional remediation firm can install a system that extracts the radon and vents it safely outdoors.

Carbon monoxide (CO), a colorless, odorless gas, is produced by gas stoves, heaters, and fireplaces. Exposure can lead to headaches, dizziness, nausea, and even death. Install CO detectors near bedrooms and ensure that all fuel-burning appliances are properly maintained and ventilated. 

Additionally, older homes may still contain asbestos in insulation, floor tiles, or roofing materials. If disturbed, asbestos fibers can become airborne and are highly dangerous when inhaled, leading to serious diseases such as mesothelioma, so when renovating an older home, it’s critical to have materials tested for asbestos before beginning work.

Mold and mildew thrive in damp, poorly ventilated areas such as bathrooms, basements, and around leaky pipes. While some molds are harmless, others can cause allergic reactions or respiratory problems and aggravate conditions such as asthma. Black mold (Stachybotrys chartarum) is notorious for producing mycotoxins that may lead to severe health issues.

Signs of mold include musty odors, visible growth on walls or ceilings, and excessive humidity. Preventing mold growth requires controlling moisture levels—using dehumidifiers and vapor barriers, fixing leaks promptly, and ensuring adequate ventilation. Professional mold remediation may be necessary for severe infestations.

Though banned in residential paints in 1978, lead-based paint still exists in millions of older homes. Lead exposure is especially dangerous for children, causing developmental delays, learning difficulties, and behavioral issues. Adults are not immune – lead can lead to high blood pressure, kidney damage, and reproductive problems.

Even dust from deteriorating lead-based paint can be hazardous. The EPA recommends professional lead testing for any home built before 1978, especially if renovations are planned. Certified abatement professionals can safely remove or encapsulate lead paint.

Improper use of heating equipment, fireplaces, unattended candles, and cooking accidents are common sources of home fires. Smoke alarms and fire extinguishers are essential for early detection and response. Test smoke detectors monthly and change batteries at least once a year.

Homes that are safe for adults may not be safe for children or pets. Small objects, unsecured cabinets, toxic plants, and open staircases can pose significant risks. Childproofing measures such as outlet covers, safety gates, and cabinet locks, along with safe storage of chemicals and medications, are essential precautions.

The good news is that many of these risks can be mitigated with awareness and action. Here are a few simple steps to enhance home safety:

• Conduct a thorough safety audit using checklists available online.

• Ensure proper ventilation to reduce indoor air pollutants.

• Regularly check for leaks and signs of water damage.

• Keep cleaning and chemical products out of reach of children.

• Educate all household members about emergency procedures, including fire escapes and first aid.

Our homes should protect us, not pose threats to our well-being. By identifying and addressing these toxic and unsafe issues, we can transform our living spaces into truly safe havens.


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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Advice

I make more money than my partner and getting resentful

She’s taking advantage of a joint credit card

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(Photo by Nik_Sorokin/Bigstock)

Hi Michael,

I make a fair amount more money than my girlfriend does and I’m happy to contribute more to our life (we are both in our 20s and living together).

But Meg doesn’t seem to care how much money she spends and then asks me to front her when she’s running low. She seldom pays me back. 

Last week she had a big night on the town with her best friend (formerly her girlfriend) for the friend’s 30th birthday. She hired a limo and spent a lot on drinks and dinner. She put the entire night on our joint card which we are only supposed to use for shared household expenses, because she had maxed out her own card. Of course I will wind up paying for it. (And I am slightly jealous. Why am I paying for her evening out with her former GF?)

I pay for all sorts of stuff all the time because her credit card gets too big for her budget. 

And somehow I almost never end up getting her share of the rent, which is already prorated according to our incomes.

She always tells me she’ll pay me back but her tab pretty much just keeps getting bigger.

If I bring this up with her, she tells me I am cheap because I make a lot and we’re a couple; and if she made more, she’d have no problem sharing everything with me. 

Am I just being ungenerous? I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s an ingrate, but then I think if you’re in love, you shouldn’t be thinking of money, just taking care of the person you love.

Also, although I make more than she does, I’m by no means rich. I have my own student loans, and paying for the bulk of our lifestyle stretches me thin some months.

Michael replies:

For starters: Most couples must contend with some version of your struggle with Meg, because most couples have some income disparity.

Do you maintain a lifestyle that both of you can afford? That works for some relationships where the lower earner may not want to feel indebted to the partner who makes more. Other couples work out a system where they pay for expenses in proportion to their income. And in some instances, the higher earner may have a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy and the lower earner is OK with that.

What matters is that both partners come to a mutual agreement and are comfortable with the arrangement. In other words, they collaborate.

That’s not the case with you and Meg. You sound resentful, angry, and feeling like Meg is taking advantage of you.  

It’s great to be generous in your relationship, but it’s also important to have a boundary when you think it’s important to have a boundary. Yet you’re continuing to subsidize Meg even when you have trouble making your own ends meet. 

Important question: Have you told Meg that you’re stretched thin some months? If not, I’d be curious as to how you’ve made that decision. If so, I’d be curious as to Meg’s response.

If you don’t want to keep serving as Meg’s piggy bank, what is stopping you?  

There’s a great saying in psychotherapy: If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Meaning, our “big” actions and reactions have their roots in our history.

Think about your life history: How does it make sense that you are acting like a powerless victim?  

Is not having a boundary an old and familiar dynamic for you? Were there important players in your life—for example, your parents—who insisted it was their way or the highway?  Or perhaps you learned as a kid that if you ever said “no” to your friends, there’d be negative consequences?

Now ask yourself what might be keeping you stuck in a relationship of resentment. Are you re-creating an old and familiar dynamic? Sometimes we keep putting ourselves in the same miserable situation, over and over again. What’s familiar can be comfortable, even if it’s miserable; and we may be trying to get some understanding of the dynamic and some power over it, to finally get it right.  

I’m just speculating here, to encourage you to think for yourself why you are staying in the dynamic you describe. You haven’t mentioned anything positive about your relationship, or about Meg.

Another possibility: I wonder if you might be so fearful of being alone that you’re willing to tolerate all sorts of treatment in order to stay in your relationship. Or perhaps you don’t think you deserve to be treated any better than this.

Again, if this is the case, where might this belief be coming from? Understanding why we are stuck in behaviors that keep us miserable can help us to get unstuck.

You have an opportunity to do something different here: Set a boundary and take power over your life. Perhaps if you did so, Meg would surprise you by shifting her stance, which would be good news if you have some good reasons to stay. Or perhaps she would not. Your challenge now is to get some sense of what’s holding you back, if you want something different for yourself. And unless you act on your own behalf, you will stay in this position. 

One more point to consider, regarding Meg’s dinner date with her ex: Whether or not anything is going on, I take your jealousy as a sign that you don’t trust Meg. And without trust, you can’t have a decent relationship.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Real Estate

April showers bring May flowers in life — and in real estate

Third time’s the charm for buyer plagued with problems

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As Dolly Parton says, ‘If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with a little rain’ (Photo by Rangizzz/Bigstock)

Working in the real estate sector in D.C. can be as uniquely “D.C.” as the residents feel about their own city. On any given day, someone could be selling a home that their grandmother bought, passed on to the relatives, and the transfer of generational wealth continues.  In that same transaction, the beginning steps of building of generational wealth could be taking place.

Across town, an international buyer could be looking for a condo with very specific characteristics that remind them of the way things are “back home.” Maybe they want to live in a building with a pool because they grew up by the sea. Maybe they want a large kitchen so they can cook grandma’s recipes. Maybe they will be on MSNBC once a month and need to have a home office fit for those Zoom sessions where they will be live on air, or recording their podcast.  Perhaps they play the saxophone and want a building with thick walls so they can make a joyful noise without causing their neighbors to file a cease-and-desist order.  

What I found fascinating was getting to know my buyers. Why were they purchasing their property? What did they want to do with it? Was this their grandmother’s dream that they would have a place of their own someday? Did they finally think they would write that award-winning play in the home office?  What dreams were going to be fulfilled while taking part in this transaction?  

Somedays, the muck and paperwork slog of navigating home inspection items and financing checklists could get to be distracting at best, and almost downright disheartening at worst.  

One of my clients was under contract on THREE places before we finally closed on a home. One building was discovered to have financing issues, and the residents were not keeping up with their condo fees. Another building had an issue with the title to the unit, which meant the seller could not sell the home for at least another year until that legal snag was resolved. As the months rolled by, she was losing heart and feeling defeated. When we finally found the third home, everything seemed great – and then about two weeks before the settlement, the rains came down and the windows leaked into the bedrooms.  

Another delay. (Our THIRD). This time, for several more weeks.

I think she wanted to pack a suitcase, go to the airport, get on a plane somewhere and never come back. What ultimately happened? The building repaired the windows, the seller’s insurance replaced the hardwood floors, and she bought her first condo, which she still enjoys to this day.  

As Dolly Parton says, “If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with a little rain.”  And finally, after months of looking, waiting, and overcoming obstacles, the rainbow peeked out from behind the clouds.  


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals.  He can be reached at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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