Arts & Entertainment
Images and outrage
Controversy aside, ‘Hide/Seek’ is a groundbreaking show
A still from the video that caused controversy in the current "Hide/Seek" exhibit at the National Portrait Gallery.
Catcher Yogi Berra once famously called it “deja vu all over again.” But it was Karl Marx who perhaps defined it best as “when history repeats itself — the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.”
That was the feeling at least for a moment last week, when officials at the National Portrait Gallery censored a video component of its exhibit titled “Hide/Seek,” the show about gay and lesbian sexual love and its impact on American art. Complaints by right-wing Catholics over 11 seconds of a depiction of ants crawling on a crucifix was enough for NPG director Martin E. Sullivan to decide to turn tail and yank an entire half-hour-long 1987 video, titled “A Fire in My Belly” — a meditation on the ravages of AIDS by David Wojnarowicz, the gay artist who died from HIV-related causes in 1992.
Shades of Robert Mapplethorpe and the cancellation of an exhibit of his erotically charged photos by the Corcoran Gallery of Art in 1989. And now as then GOP politicians are on the attack under the banner of “no promo homo,” and also as before, another gallery — this time Flashpoint — courageously took up the challenge and began to show the offending video.
But what about the groundbreaking NPG show itself, which opened in October and runs through mid-February? It’s stunning with 105 pieces of art from the canon of America’s greatest artists of the past century and more, depicting the ways in which their sexual orientations expressed themselves — usually coded and concealed — visually on canvas and other surfaces and as images in motion.
The exhibit is titled as a playful reminder of the childhood game of hide-and-seek, when concealment is the first task for survival. “HIDE/SEEK — Difference and Desire in American Portraiture,” with its range and breadth of seeing and finding works of art that dare speak, however sotto voce, the name of taboo love, boldly snaps in two the several decades-long taboo, welded firmly in place after the Mapplethorpe fiasco, of acknowledging same-sex desire in major U.S. museums.
The range of artists begins with Thomas Eakins and his scenes of naked boys swimming and passes through other giants of American painting — John Singer Sargent, George Bellow, Georgia O’Keefe, Jasper Johns, Robert Rauschenberg, Andy Warhol and others — to our own new century. But as co-curator Jonathan D. Katz contends, “seeking and noticing” the sexual subtexts of their work “are two very different acts,” and this exhibit “seeks to turn such seeing into noticing.”
As with their work itself, nothing is as it seems at first. Therefore, “HIDE/SEEK” features, says Katz, “straight artists representing gay figures, gay artists representing straight figures, gay artists representing gay figures, and even straight artists representing straight figures, when of interest to gay people/culture.”
For Katz, considered the dean of academic study of gay and lesbian art history, this has been the curatorial work of more than 15 years. Katz shaped this exhibit with Smithsonian historian David C. Ward, who has openly called Katz “my camerado — per Walt (Whitman).”
Ward also says that Katz, who founded the gay and lesbian studies program at Yale University and is the first tenured professor in LGBT studies in the nation, “is a model of the engaged scholar” and as a result ran afoul of academic norms in the past for his avowed interest in these subjects.
“He’s someone who managed to be thrown out of two institutions, the University of Chicago and Johns Hopkins University,” Ward says, “for daring in the 1970s to want to write about gay and lesbian Americans.”
In the magisterial catalogue accompanying the exhibit, Katz confesses that their choice of subjects is “firmly canonical” and rooted in “the register of great American artists … within the American mainstream,” so that many artists, less well known, have been excluded. The key objective, says Katz, is to show that “the assumption that same-sex desire is at best tangential to the history of American art” is “utterly unsupportable.”
With “HIDE/SEEK,” and even with the Wojnarowicz censorship fresh at hand, it now seems safe to say, in Katz’s words, that the “pervasive silencing of same-sex desire in accounts of American portrait painting” is over.
Perhaps the most interesting feature of the exhibit comes in its revelation that American artists at the turn of the 20th century could in fact be much more open about their subject matter than those of the mid-20th century in a period haunted by sexual McCarthyism and the hunt for “reds and gays” in government, the schools and the clergy. During that era only on the fringes of the entertainment world, and there not always, could different sexual proclivities find open or even closeted refuge.
In other words, same-sex desire could be expressed more freely in the arts at that earlier time “prior to the advent of ‘homosexuality’ as an available category,” says Katz, even though same-sex desire acted upon was literally a crime. But this was before an explicit “homo/hetero binary” was established as the enforced norm, he says, and before “gay” and “straight” were paired as strict opposites instead of subtle inflection points on a spectrum of the sort spelled out by Alfred Kinsey in his scale of zero to six.
Key to this transformation, Katz says, was when “sexual behavior evolve(d) into sexual identity, from what you did to what you were.” In the earlier era, after all, sexual identity was premised not on the gender of one’s sexual partner but rather on one’s own gendered role —insertive or receptive — in the sex act. As Katz notes, “it was socially acceptable to penetrate a queer” for sexual relief and as “tolerable stand-ins for women.”
Thus, Katz begins the exhibit catalogue with a searching exegesis of George Bellows’ print from 1917, “The Shower Bath,” where two naked men are depicted front and center – one thin and effeminate, looking seductively over his shoulder and thrusting his posterior provocatively at a second man, beefy of build, butch and masculine, whose towel barely conceals his sexual arousal. Opposites in every way, “they are made a pair,” says Katz, and what he calls “the odd couple” are “the focal point of this image.” But the forward homoeroticism of the Bellows print did not hamper its commercial success at the time. And Bellows himself was a man devoted to his wife and children.
There is, of course much more in this exhibit, with many works coded with layers of longing, that NPG director Sullivan — before the controversy erupted over the video — spoke of “with pride” as offering “a new lens with which to view the panorama of American life.” It is indeed, as he said earlier, “a sumptuous survey of more than a century of American portraiture,” asking “new questions and risking new interpretations.” It dares to be at once risky and risque.
With portraits such as these, we enter the lives of others, to explore how identities were forged in the past. With portraits such as these, we end up staring at ourselves.
Theater
D.C.’s fall theater season is already well underway
‘Ma Rainey,’ ‘Mama Mia,’ ‘Rocky Horror,’ and much more on tap
Leaves have scarcely turned, but throughout the DMV, the fall theater season is well underway.
In Arlington, Signature Theatre got a jump on the season with Stephen Sondheim’s musical “Merrily We Roll Along” (through Nov. 1). Told entirely in reverse chronological order, this story of three longtime friends spans the years 1957 to 1976 moving from the trio’s cynical middle-aged present back to their happy and hopeful salad days.
Filled with great promise when it opened in 1981, the original production closed after just 16 official performances despite a terrific score glutted with great tunes like “Our Time,” “Good Thing Going,” and “Not a Day Goes By.” Over the years, the show was tweaked and reimagined, ultimately redeeming itself as a massive Broadway hit revival in 2023.
Signature’s production, directed and choreographed by Matthew Gardiner, features out actors Jason Gotay (Rafa from the “Gossip Girl” reboot) and Signature vet Jake Loewenthal playing, respectively, sellout composer Franklin Shepard and loyal lyricist Charley Kringas. Melanie Field plays witty and increasingly alcoholic Mary Flynn, the third prong of the complex little friend group. Sigtheatre.org
Woolly Mammoth Company has opened with playwright Steve Yockey’s “Venus” (through Oct. 4), a tragicomedy about two women whose first date goes terribly wrong. The lesbian daters are played by Kimberly Gilbert and queer-identified actor Regina Aquino. Woolly’s new artistic director Reggie D. White directs. Woollymammoth.net
At Round House Theatre in Bethesda, August Wilson’s “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” continues its compelling exploration of racism, exploitation, and artistic integrity. Helmed by director Lili-Anne Brown, the production runs through Oct. 11. The 10-actor cast includes Yao Dogbe as Levee, a young firebrand trumpeter, and out actor Nicole Michelle Haskins as the queer titular blues legend. Roundhousetheatre.org
Broadway at the National (National Theatre) is ushering in a spate of hit Broadway shows this fall. The musicals include “Dirty Dancing” (Sept. 29–Oct. 4), “Maybe Happy Ending” (Oct. 6–11), and ABBA’s “Mama Mia!” (Oct. 27–Nov. 15) featuring charming out actor Victor Wallace as successful architect and divorced father of two Sam Carmichael. Broadwayatthenational.com
First introduced to theatergoers by MetroStage at the Kennedy Center’s Page to Stage Festival in 2019, Sherman Yellen’s “Cousin Bella–The Whore of Minsk” is the riveting story of Bella, who as a young Jewish woman living in Czarist Russia was sold into prostitution by her stepmother. Later rescued, she immigrated to America, where she lived out the rest of her life in New York.
Now with a shortened title, “Cousin Bella” is going to MetroStage at The Lyceum (Alexandria’s History Museum) as a staged reading for one night only on Sept. 22. Again, Adrienne Nelson plays Bella, but this time, she’s joined by out DMV favorite Michael Russotto as Sherman. MetroStage.org
Hard to believe, but this year marks four decades since the film release of “Little Shop of Horrors.”
To celebrate the anniversary, Ellen Greene (the actor who created Audrey, the show’s sweet and sexy florist, both on stage and screen) is doing a nationwide tour that includes a night at D.C.’s historic Lincoln Theatre (Friday, Sept. 25).
Greene’s appearance offers fans the opportunity to experience the 1986 cult horror/comedy/musical classic alongside its iconic star. Before the screening, Greene will take part in a live Q&A and perform Audrey’s signature song – what else — “Somewhere That’s Green.” Thelincolndc.com
At Olney Theatre Center, the season opens with the regional premiere staging of “Some Like It Hot” (Sept. 18–Nov. 8) directed by Jason Loewith with choreography by Karla Puno Garcia.
Adapted from the classic 1959 Billy Wilder film starring Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, and Jack Lemmon, the Tony Award-winning musical by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman (the guys who gave us “Hairspray”) brings the jokes, music, more dance and adds gender identity, self-discovery, and racial representation.
Like the film, the action kicks off in Prohibition-era Chicago when Joe (Jacob Tischler) and Jerry (Tavis Corderll), two straight musicians, witness a mob hit. Averse to being bumped off, they leave town as the newly hired members of an “all-girl band” fronted by the irresistible Sugar Kane (Mot Walker). Laughs and drag ensue. Olneytheatre.org
Spooky Action Theater in association Solas Nua present “Hakawatis: Women of the Arabian Nights” (Sept. 24 – Oct. 18). In this re-imagining, Irish Palestinian playwright Hannah Khalil reclaims the classic “Arabian Nights” through a new feminist lens replete with compelling storytelling by its all women cast of five. Spookyaction.org
The Shakespeare Theatre Company presents “Frida…A Self Portrait” (Oct. 8 – Nov. 8), a stage portrait of Mexican painter and queer icon Frida Kahlo. Written and performed by Brazilian actor Vanessa Severo, the play is set on the eve of Kahlo’s death, exploring her pain, passion, and extraordinary life through a powerful, intimate lens. Shakespearetheatre.org
At 1st Stage in Tysons, the season opens with British playwright Harold Pinter’s “Betrayal” (Oct. 8-25), a play sophisticated in subject and structure. Pinter uses a non-linear timeline spanning the years 1968 to 1977, moving mostly backward from the end of a seven-year affair to its beginning. The adulterous love triangle involves Emma (Katrina Clark), Robert (Shawn Sebastian Naar), and Jerry (played by excellent out actor Jaysen Wright). Alex Levy directs. 1ststage.org
In time for Halloween, Creative Caudron Stage in Falls Church presents “Monsters of the Villa Diodati” (Oct. 8 – Nov. 1), a Gothic-style musical created by local married collaborators Matt Conner (composer) and Stephen Gregory Smith (playwright/lyricist).
The applauded work dramatizes the stormy Geneva summer of 1816 when poet Lord Byron challenged his guests to come up with their best scary tales. Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein” and John Polidori’s “The Vampyre” were among the better results. Creativecauldron.org
In Rehoboth Beach, Del., Clear Space Theatre Company’s anticipated annual production of “The Rocky Horror Show” (directed by Wes Drummond and choreographed by Shondelle Graulich) is returning to the stage for the Halloween season. (Oct. 9–31). Clear Space invites theatergoers to “revel in a deliciously decadent rock ‘n’ roll party where nothing is sacred, everything is extra, and liberation is the main event.” (Late night audience participation performances every Saturday night.) Clearspacetheatre.org
The first of Arena Stage’s autumn offerings is the Step Afrika! premiere of “The Fruits of Our Labor” (though Nov. 1), a powerful, celebratory production focused on resilience and the unfinished American experience expertly performed by the company’s tremendous step dancers.
Later at Arena, it’s playwright Eric Bentley’s extremely time “Are You Now or Have You Ever Been” (Oct. 17– Dec. 6), directed by Tony Award-winner Anna D. Shapiro. “This docudrama drops you into the tense world of the 1940s House Committee on Un-American Activities hearings, where fame offered no protection and political pressure could end a career.” Arenastage.org
For a bit of Strathmore family fun, AMP presents Disney Pixar’s “Coco Live-to-Film Concert” (matinees on Oct. 31, Nov. 1), a special event for Día de los Muertos where the full animated film Coco is screened on the big screen while its culturally rich score by Michael Giacchino is performed live by the 20-member Orquesta Folclórica Nacional de México. Strathmore.org
In an amusing essay about microaggressions, David Sedaris shares that whenever he and his partner Hugh browse antique stores in England, the shop owners invariably look them over and ask, “Are you dealers?” His usual retort: “No, just homosexuals.”
Playwright JB Miller treads similar terrain with “The Last Victorian,” his new play that kicks off the fall season at Washington Stage Guild with a world premiere production (Nov. 19- Dec. 13) directed by Laura Giannarelli.
In this dark comedy, two failed British antique dealers, same-sex partners in both business and in life, unbelievably inherit the world’s oldest person. When issues of price and provenance come to the fore, the pair turn on each other, and soon it seems the old lady might take charge. Stageguild.org
And to help make the much of the above markedly more affordable, there’s Theater Week. Organized by Theatre Washington, the more than seven days of deals and entertainment is a multi-week regional celebration launching the local fall theater season that runs from Sept. 24 to Oct. 11, featuring discounted tickets priced at $25, $45, and $65 for more than 25 productions alongside a lineup of free community events. For details and participating companies go to Theatrewashington.org.
Arts & Entertainment
78th annual Emmy Awards recapped
What the show lacked in queer representation, it made up for in queer coding
Entertainment has been bittersweet for queer people. We’ve lost Dolly Parton, Bob Mackie, and Tim Curry. We’ve seen a 41 percent drop in queer characters on television due to TV cancellations. So you likely weren’t expecting the Emmys to be a particularly queer affair. And yet, there were some delicious moments that were queer-coded, and many of our favorites were honored.
Mariska Hargitay, who has played our favorite quasi-butch “SVU” detective for 27 years, hosted the festivities. She took home two Creative Arts Emmys for directing the documentary “My Mom Jayne: A Film by Mariska Hargitay,” which also took home an award. She started the ceremony with a parody of “I Love Rock-n-Roll” which featured appearances by Jean Smart, Jennifer Coolidge, and gay Emmy winner Jeff Hiller. There were also weird product placement ads for Marriott and United. #recessionindicators
As for LGBTQ representation, Rhea Seehorn won for playing lesbian character Carol Sturka in “Pluribus.” Alan Cumming took home another Emmy as well for “The Traitors,” beating out RuPaul and “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” “Drag Race” did take home an Emmy for Outstanding Hairstyling For A Variety, Nonfiction, or Reality Program.
“DTF: St Louis” which followed an infidelity that ended in a muder subplot and featured a unique polyamorous threesome was an Emmy darling and earned Emmys for Linda Cardellini and David Harbour.
There were some historical moments: Matthew Rhys took home two Emmys for Best Lead Actor in an Anthology and Best Lead Actor in a Comedy, making him the first actor to win for two of the main categories in one night. Rob Reiner, who received a posthumous Emmy for his role in “The Bear,” beat out 2025 darling Connor Storrie. This broke the record for the longest span between acting Emmy wins at 48 years, which was previously set by his father, comedian Carl Reiner.
To honor Parton, Sally Field (who took home an Emmy) gave a stirring introduction, with Reba McEntire singing a tribute. Macaulay Culkin, Annie Murphy, and Dan Levy paid tribute to Catherine O’Hara, with Culkin pulling heartstrings calling her “mama.”
There was a 50th reunion for “Charlie’s Angels” with Jaclyn Smith, Kate Jackson, and Cheryl Ladd presenting Outstanding Drama Series. They took a moment to shout out and honor Farrah Fawcett. Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Borenaz had their own reunion, giving out the award for Outstanding Lead Actor and alluded to the sad loss of Nicholas Brendan, Anthony Stewart Head, and Michelle Trachtenberg, who all passed within the last two years. Gellar was also able to make a quick crack about her now-cancelled “Buffy” reboot.
The ceremony was also very on it and was quick to add Mackie, who passed earlier this week, to their In Memoriam segment.
Here’s the full list of winners as well as notable Creative Arts Emmy recipients.
Lead Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Sally Field, “Remarkably Bright Creatures“
Lead Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Matthew Rhys, “The Beast in Me“
Supporting Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Linda Cardellini, “DTF St. Louis“
Supporting Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: David Harbour, “DTF St. Louis“
Directing for a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie: Steven Conrad, “DTF St. Louis“
Limited or Anthology Series: ‘DTF St. Louis’
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Matthew Rhys, “Widow’s Bay“
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: Jean Smart, “Hacks“
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: Stephen Root, “Widow’s Bay”
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Kate O’Flynn, “Widow’s Bay“
Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: Rob Reiner, “The Bear“
Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Betty Gilpin, “Widow’s Bay“
Directing for a Comedy Series: Hiro Murai, “Widow’s Bay“
Writing for a Comedy Series: Katie Dippold, “Widow’s Bay“
Comedy Series: “Widow’s Bay“
Lead Actress in a Drama Series: Rhea Seehorn, “Pluribus“
Lead Actor in a Drama Series: Noah Wyle, “The Pitt“
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series: Allison Janney, “The Diplomat“
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: Tom Pelphrey, “Task“
Guest Actor in a Drama Series: Ernest Harden Jr., “The Pitt“
Guest Actress in a Drama Series: Shailene Woodley, “Paradise“
Writing for a Drama Series” Vince Gilligan, “Pluribus“
Directing for a Drama Series” Saul Metzstein, “Slow Horses“
Drama Series: “The Pitt”
Structured Reality Program: “Antiques Roadshow”
Unstructured Reality Program: “Love on the Spectrum“
Host for a Reality or Reality Competition Program: Alan Cumming, “The Traitors“
Directing for a Reality Program: Ben Archard, “The Traitors“
Reality Competition Program: “The Traitors“
Writing for a Variety Series: “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert“
Directing for a Variety Series: Yvonne De Mare, “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert“
Variety Series: “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert“
Variety Special (Live): “The Apple Music Super Bowl LX Halftime Show Starring Bad Bunny“
Variety Special (Prerecorded): “The Muppet Show“
Directing for a Variety Special: Hamish Hamilton, “The Apple Music Super Bowl LX Halftime Show Starring Bad Bunny“
Short Form Comedy, Drama or Variety Series: “Colbert Before Air“
Short Form Nonfiction or Reality Series: “Inside The Pitt“
Performer in a Short Form Comedy or Drama Series: Desi Lydic, “The Daily Show: Desi Lydic Foxsplains“
Directing for a Documentary/Nonfiction Program: Mariska Hargitay, “My Mom Jayne: A Film By Mariska Hargitay“
Documentary or Nonfiction Special: “My Mom Jayne: A Film by Mariska Hargitay“
a&e features
Acclaimed Chef Patrick O’Connell’s memoir reveals the arc of a life well lived
Overcoming obstacles to serve everyone from Jerry Falwell to Queen Elizabeth
Renowned three-Michelin-star Chef Patrick O’Connell says food and wine hold a unique ability to bring people together. Indeed, he has served everyone from right-wing zealot Jerry Falwell to Britain’s Queen Elizabeth during his decades at the beloved Inn at Little Washington in rural Virginia.
O’Connell’s compelling new memoir, “Main, Middle & Gay” is out Sept. 15 from Celadon Books and offers a deeply personal account of how he transformed his love of food and affinity for the finer things into an iconic inn and restaurant that draws diners from around the world nearly 50 years after it opened in 1978.
O’Connell is launching the book with an event on Sept. 18 at Lisner Auditorium featuring Chef José Andrés and former Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema. He met Andrés just after Andrés began to work in D.C. and was “on fire with ideas.”
“We sat next to each other at Charlie Trotter’s restaurant and the meal went on for hours and we had a natural rapport,” O’Connell told the Blade in a recent interview. “The chemistry will be fun and lively and unpredictable and exciting. I think we’re all different personalities and we’ll compliment each other.”
O’Connell said he’s excited to hold the event at Lisner.
“I studied theater at Catholic University and transferred to GWU so it’s a coming home party and Lisner has been there since I was a kid and it was always like D.C.’s Carnegie Hall. It feels like going home to my old stomping grounds.”
O’Connell hopes to bring the book to life visually at the event and he has produced a short film that will be screened.
The book traces the self-taught O’Connell’s remarkable journey from rural paperboy and short-order cook to proprietor of one of the world’s most celebrated restaurants and Relais & Châteaux hotels. Along the way we learn about the many challenges he faced — from distrustful and homophobic local residents in Washington, Va., to an expensive, public “divorce” from his longtime romantic and business partner, Reinhardt Lynch.
“It parallels the evolution of American cuisine over 50 years,” he said. “It’s a rare perspective to be in the trenches for that long.”
O’Connell writes candidly about his relationship with Lynch. The two opened the restaurant together — O’Connell running the kitchen and Lynch handling the business. But O’Connell’s accolades and growing notoriety led to jealousy that triggered a protracted falling out and dissolution of both their personal relationship and business partnership. Lynch, as recalled by O’Connell, attempted to secretly sell his 50 percent of the business but ultimately agreed to sell his stake back to O’Connell for a reported $17.5 million. “The Washington Post ran with it as a salacious celebrity divorce story and included all the financial details,” he writes.
After taking full control of the Inn just as the recession of 2008 hit, O’Connell writes of the scrutiny of guests who assumed Lynch’s absence would lead to a slip in quality. “The place couldn’t be just as good as ever. It would have to be better.”
What happened next proved a royal opportunity as Queen Elizabeth visited Virginia to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the founding of the state and O’Connell was asked to cater a reception. This chapter is filled with juicy details and behind-the-scenes anecdotes about the pressures of cooking for the Queen. The subsequent media attention proved lucrative for the Inn and photos of the Queen’s visit still hang in the Inn.
There are references to O’Connell’s sexual orientation throughout the book and he doesn’t shy from addressing his long relationship with Lynch or the resistance the couple encountered when they settled in sleepy Washington, Va.
“I didn’t realize that I was walking into a prejudiced hornet’s nest that I wasn’t fully prepared for and there was a great deal of hostility in part because they didn’t understand anything about what we were attempting to do here so everything about us and our desire to run a fine restaurant was foreign to them,” O’Connell told the Blade. “The irony of a place opening in the center of town of 150 people and at that time the word ‘gay’ wasn’t used here. It was as if they didn’t have space in their consciousness for such a thing. We were regarded as counter culture people.
“The restaurant became a success almost overnight and the locals couldn’t understand what the buzz was about,” O’Connell continued. “They thought food is food and why would anyone drive 60 miles out here for food. They became resentful of the ‘outsiders’ who came. Two outsiders were opening a restaurant and drawing other outsiders out here to a place where there weren’t many jobs. There was resentment on many levels by some — not all. They thought it would go away.”
But O’Connell said he never made his sexuality the focus of his work. Rather, he wanted to use food to bring people of all backgrounds together.
“I never made a point or attempted to make that a central focus on my work,” he said. “I felt that I had found my spot in the universe where I belonged, I loved living here, it was a sanctuary.”
O’Connell’s insistence that everyone is welcome has sometimes created tension and negative press, as when President Trump presented him with a National Humanities Medal that brought criticism from some progressives.
“We see a fascinating clientele here; we don’t judge and we’re not political,” he said. “When people come they are entitled to our hospitality.”
One of those people was televangelist and notorious homophobe Jerry Falwell, who made a reservation at the Inn years ago. O’Connell’s instruction to the staff was to treat Falwell like any other guest.
“We have an image of someone who maybe we would think would be hostile or judgmental and they often surprise us,” O’Connell said. “We held our breath and here’s Falwell working the tables and saying this is the best meal I’ve ever had, aren’t these two guys great and we thought he’s doing PR for us and he’s supposed to be the devil.”
O’Connell said he sees that dynamic play out night after night at the Inn. One of the most conservative national Republican figures, he said, is a regular and Vice President JD Vance dined at the Inn recently. Focusing on the food and hospitality for all constitutes O’Connell’s brand of activism.
“Food does bring people together,” he said. “And you’re doing your part in erasing preconceived judgements.”
He said he and his team did more to advance understanding and acceptance by focusing on hospitality than if “we were out marching.”
As evidence, he said, there are more and more gay couples moving to the area and the town’s mayor, Joe Whited, is gay.
“We’re the biggest employer in the county and largest taxpayer,” he added. “The Inn pays the town almost $1 million per year and property values are getting to be like Palm Beach. And that wasn’t a goal it was a byproduct of doing something as well as it could be done.”
But the book isn’t hagiography. O’Connell revisits traumatic events, like childhood bullies who attacked him for wearing a Little Red Riding Hood costume for Halloween and a sexual assault he endured as a young teenager aboard a bus.
“I don’t know why I couldn’t call out for help or try to make the man stop,” O’Connell writes of the incident. “I didn’t want to call attention to the situation and felt completely implicated. Once it began there was no stopping it.”
Interestingly, O’Connell told the Blade that one of the things he learned in writing the book is how little he’s changed since childhood.
“People tend to lock away a lot of childhood memories for good reason and in a book you’re reliving them and bringing them to life,” he said. “And my revelation is that I don’t think I’ve changed much since I was six and I think most people’s identity is pretty developed in their very early years and their personality is clear. What amused me most is I’m doing the same things now that I did in miniature as a five and six year old.”
As for popular TV shows about the restaurant business, O’Connell says he doesn’t watch them.
“It’s fake,” he said. “There are much more colorful characters and it’s much more exciting in real life. Nobody seems capable of capturing that. So maybe this [book] will have the effect of doing that and showing what it takes.”
O’Connell said the books and stories he most enjoys reading are those that start in childhood and carry through until late in life. He has certainly delivered that in “Main, Middle & Gay,” a moving, fearless memoir filled with the unexpected and natural drama that revisits a uniquely American life.
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