Living
‘This is my family’
Partners of 39 years turn new page after surviving homelessness, alcoholism

Terry Ward, 66, seated, and Bob Cyrus, 60, are celebrating this Valentine’s Day in a new home after an adventurous 39 years together. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Terry Ward, 66, and Bob Cyrus, 60, have been a couple for 39 years and like a comedy team from old-style vaudeville, each is a straight man to the other, setting each other up for one-liners, often in politically incorrect terms.
They nudge each other with constant ribbing, affectionately but sometimes there’s also a dab of vinegar with the sugar, as when Ward calls Cyrus “a whore,” even as they each tumble into well-practiced personality pratfalls.
Each can finish the other’s sentences and their patter can be hard to follow, unless you hear the inner nuance, which always seems to turn on being each other’s eternal best friend.
Until two weeks ago, they were homeless and living in a shelter. And for years they were hopelessly alcoholic, yet still they clung to each other for love and support.
One is largely deaf, the other is blind in one eye. They are real characters, scarred by life’s twists and turns yet they’re still able to find the fun in their life together even if they have to create it themselves. Ward, blind in his right eye since a stroke last year, says, “We’re never bored — he can’t hear and I’m blind and I’ll hide his hearing aid and he’ll hide my teeth.”
And on April 1 — yes, on April Fools, for they seem to delight in having fun with every part of life — they plan to be married. But that’s only if, says Ward, Cyrus will spring for an engagement ring.
They live in a rent-subsidized apartment in Washington obtained for them by a non-profit social service agency, the U.S. Veterans Initiative (USVI), when it was discovered one of them had been a veteran — Ward served two years in the U.S. Navy mostly on a destroyer in the Mediterranean — and they had been homeless, but had shaken off alcohol and now were ready to start their lives anew.
Speaking of Emily Button, who acts as their case worker in her capacity as the Initiative’s housing director, Ward says, “She’s more than a sweetheart, she’s a jewel.”
Button stepped in and pushed through all the paperwork to make sure in late January that Ward and Cyrus could move out of Clean and Sober, a shelter and alcohol rehabilitation center located at 2nd and E Streets, N.W., where Ward had been living for 22 months and Cyrus for 17 months, and into their own, neat-as-a-pin one-bedroom apartment where their lives are now all about starting over.
Ward can reminisce with a touch of sarcasm about how they met, in 1972, when Cyrus was only 21, and fresh out of Huntington, W.Va. He’d left there after finishing high school and came to Washington to take a clerk’s job in a city post office. Cyrus was already an alcoholic — he says he began to drink, mostly screwdrivers, as young as 13, at about the time he also realized he was gay. By 15 he knew he was hooked on booze because, he says, “It made me feel good.” By 21, he says the pattern was fixed in place — binge drinking followed by frequent blackouts and memory loss.
Ward remembers the rainy Friday night he met Cyrus. Ward was coming home from his job at the Market Inn restaurant. He stopped the cab he was in when he saw Cyrus incoherent and sprawled on his bicycle tilted into a gutter near 9th and Pennsylvania Avenue where water from a rainstorm was coursing all around him. Out of concern, Ward went to offer help, but Cyrus responded only to say, “Fuck you.”
“I was mean and nasty then,” Cyrus says. He admits he sometimes still is. Ward agrees: “He’s selfish because he was the only boy in the family.”
A year later they met again when both were working at the Channel Inn restaurant. They’d remembered their earlier meeting. Cyrus says they didn’t get along. Ward was out but says, “Cyrus wouldn’t admit for years that he was a homosexual,” even though he was having sex in West Virginia when he was 13.
Born in Portsmouth, Va., in 1944, Ward never saw his mother, because she “walked out of the hospital,” he says, the day he and his twin sister were born, and she never came back. Raised by an aunt he called mom he remembers being 8 and wearing his sister’s Brownie uniform to sell cookies door to door. He’d come home and be Jane in their childhood recreations of the “Tarzan” adventures they saw at the movies.
Sexually, the two always led different lives. They were sexually adventurous and are candid with tales from their glory days.
Somehow, though, the two stuck together through many ups and maybe many more downs. Despite their hedonism and alcohol abuse, they escaped HIV.
“Almost all our friends from then are dead now,” Cyrus says.
So what made it last?
“We’re the best of friends,” Ward says. “This is family and I love him. Can’t you love someone without sex? It’s probably why we’re still together because we don’t have sex. He does his thing and I do mine.”
The couple says they were never each other’s types sexually so they never consummated their relationship. It’s common, experts say, for long-term couples to no longer have sex after many years together but is it unusual for couples to have never had sex?
“I would kind of think so myself, but they may be affectionate in other ways,” says Michael Radkowsky, a local gay psychologist who counsels gay couples. He mentions singer Margaret Whiting who married gay porn star Jack Wrangler and had a non-sexual union.
“They just said they were great companions in every other way and wanted to spend their lives together,” Radkowsky says. “So it does happen and there’s no reason to pathologize it. If they’re happy, they’re happy and it works for them.”
As for their alcoholism, Ward had more control over the addiction, always able to keep a job, while Cyrus frequently would lose his. They hit bottom, respectively, especially when they fell on hard times after Ward sold his home and then gave the money to a son he’d fathered during a two-year marriage in the mid-‘60s. It became increasingly obvious that alcohol was a problem — they sometimes spent as much as $300 a week on liquor and bought it by the case.
Now Ward says, “I’m 66 and I’ve got a new life ahead of me,” saying that they have each dropped all their old drinking friends who typically would mostly spend their time together drinking.
“When you sober up, you learn to love yourself,” Ward says.
They continue to help each other. Cyrus, who was hearing impaired at birth and heard at “about 30 percent” now, relies on his partner’s ears. In addition to his vision problems, Ward uses a cane since a fall several years ago.
“Life itself, you just have to work at it,” Ward says. He looks over fondly at Cyrus and says, “At least with this one, I know what I’ve got, he’s my caretaker now – I’ve always been his caretaker, and now it’s my turn.”
“I love him from the bottom of my heart,” Ward says. “This is my family.”
Real Estate
Surviving spring cleaning
Create a space that feels comfortable, welcoming, and easy to maintain
Whether or not you are getting ready to sell your home, spring is finally upon us — you know, the time of year when you can open the windows to a warm breeze and commit to decluttering and thoroughly cleaning your home.
While decluttering, you will be faced with the challenge of what to keep and what to discard. Mysterious items may appear: the missing charger, the set of keys that open nothing, or, with any luck, that one important document you know you put “in a safe place.” The journey often turns into an archaeological dig through the layers of your daily life. Along the way, you will likely encounter objects that have been misplaced or are no longer needed, and you’ll wonder why you kept them in the first place.
The kitchen junk drawer, for example, is a universal catch-all that defies categorization. You might open it looking for a rubber band and instead discover a lone screw of unknown origin, a tube of hardened Super Glue, and at least four pens that no longer work.
Closets offer another layer of surprises, where you can find things that don’t seem to belong at all: cash in a coat pocket, a single glove, a book you meant to read, or a box filled with cables for devices you no longer own.
It’s guaranteed that if you only have one of a pair of something, its mate will appear shortly after you have thrown away the one you had. And, if you were intentionally searching for an item, it will turn up in the last place you look, simply because once you found it, you stopped looking.
Linen closets and bathroom cabinets can also harbor oddities. Now is the time to discard half-used or duplicate products you don’t remember buying, travel-sized toiletries from trips long past, or expired medications.
Under furniture is where things get truly mysterious. Reaching beneath a couch or bed in search of a dropped item often yields a collection of the unexpected: assorted coins, dust-covered pet toys, a missing sock, and perhaps something that makes you pause, like a long-lost piece of jewelry or an object you were convinced had disappeared forever.
Organizing garages and basements takes the experience to another level, where consolidating tools or seasonal decorations stored there can quickly turn into an encounter with objects that defy explanation. Why is there a box of tiles from a renovation that happened a decade ago? Do you really need the instruction manuals for appliances you no longer own? What could possibly be in the box that hasn’t been opened since you moved in?
Even searches within a home office – looking through files, drawers of old electronics, or stacks of paperwork—can yield similarly strange results. I recently found several flash drives with client files from 2014, a cache of notebooks containing names and phone numbers of prospects who left the area 15 years ago, and Turbo Tax installation CDs from as far back as 1997.
If decluttering hasn’t defeated you, then thoroughly cleaning your house may not be as overwhelming as you might think. Breaking it into manageable steps makes the process far simpler and even satisfying. A consistent method is the key to success.
Before you reach for cleaning supplies, take one last walk through each room and gather items that belong elsewhere for return to their proper place. Put away clothing and take out trash. This step instantly makes your home look better and clears the way for more effective cleaning. Working from top to bottom, dust ceiling fans, light fixtures, shelves, and blinds first so that any debris falls to the floor for addressing later. Use a microfiber cloth or handheld Swiffer to trap dust rather than spreading it around. Don’t forget overlooked areas like the tops of door frames, windowsills, and baseboards.
Move on to surfaces. Wipe down countertops and furniture with appropriate cleaners. Squeegee windows to let the sun shine in. Pay special attention to kitchen appliances. Stovetops, microwaves, and refrigerator handles tend to collect grime quickly, as do the tops of upper cabinets. In bathrooms, disinfect sinks, toilets, tubs, and showers.
Lastly, vacuum carpets, rugs, draperies, and upholstered surfaces thoroughly, including along edges and under furniture where dust accumulates. For hard floors, sweep first, then mop using a cleaner suitable for the surface type. This final step pulls the whole cleaning effort together and leaves your home feeling and smelling fresh.
Ultimately, cleaning your house doesn’t have to be a daunting chore. With a clear plan and a little consistency, you can create a space that feels comfortable, welcoming, and easy to maintain – at least until this time next year.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Large SUVs are fine for long-distance travel. But in the city? Not so much.
That’s where subcompacts come in. They fit anywhere. Yet they often remind me of sensible shoes: practical, dependable and kinda dull.
Now, though, more and more small crossovers are starting to channel their inner Christian Louboutin. Stylish. Sassy. And with some swagger to make things interesting.
CHEVROLET TRAX
$22,000
MPG: 28 city/32 highway
0 to 60 mph: 9.1 seconds
Cargo space: 54.1 cu. ft.
PROS: Affordable. Updated. Roomier than expected.
CONS: So-so acceleration. No all-wheel drive. Some road noise.
The Chevrolet Trax has undergone a stunning redo. Longer. Lower. Sharper. And more muscular — especially in sporty trims like the RS, which adds darker accents and a bit of attitude.
It’s like watching an understudy get a breakout moment.
Under the hood sits a three-cylinder turbo. No, that’s not NASCAR material, but it’s perfectly adequate for daily life. Around town, the Trax felt light, easy to maneuver and surprisingly smooth. While I wasn’t going to be chasing lap times like Brad Pitt in “F1,” this pint-sized SUV kept up with traffic comfortably.
Another plus: Chevy re-tuned the suspension. Rough pavement softens. Long drives are relaxed.
Inside, the dashboard is more upscale than the price tag suggests. A large infotainment display dominates the center stack, and wireless smartphone connectivity is standard. Rear passenger room is generous thanks to the longer wheelbase, and cargo space is decent.
Inexpensive, yes. And now stylish enough to earn an ovation.
MAZDA CX-30

$26,000
MPG: 24 city/31 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.0 seconds
Cargo space: 45.2 cu. ft.
PROS: Sexy exterior. Chic cabin. Sporty handling.
CONS: Limited rear visibility. Smallish cargo area.
Mazda has mastered the art of making affordable cars feel expensive, and the CX-30 might be its best performance yet. Sculpted curves. Dramatic fenders. Rich paint colors that shimmer under sunlight. Park this crossover next to competitors and it looks like it wandered in from a more upscale showroom.
The base four-cylinder engine is lively enough. But the real fun starts with the optional turbo. Press the throttle and the CX-30 surges forward with gusto, whipping you from 0 to 60 mph in as little as 5.9 seconds. Suddenly, merging onto the highway feels less like commuting and more like making an entrance worthy of Lady Gaga.
Handling also shines, with sharp steering, minimal body roll and controlled cornering. To me, the CX-30 is one of the few small rides that genuinely rewards enthusiastic driving.
Inside, the cabin feels premium. Soft-touch materials, elegant stitching and a minimalist dashboard create a refined atmosphere.
There are tradeoffs. Backseat legroom is tighter than some rivals, and outward visibility can feel limited due to the thick roof pillars.
But if you enjoy driving — really enjoy it — the CX-30 stands apart.
VOLVO XC40

$40,000
MPG: 23 city/30 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.1 seconds
Cargo space: 57.5 cu. ft.
PROS: Euro styling. High-quality materials. Top safety gear.
CONS: Bit jarring over potholes. Average fuel economy.
For a more sophisticated look, there’s the Volvo XC40. Crisp lines. Upright stance. Signature “Thor’s hammer” LED headlights that give the front-end an unmistakable presence.
Under the hood, the XC40 pairs a four-cylinder turbo with standard all-wheel drive. While the XC 40 won’t outrun a true sports car, it moves with purpose. Think quiet confidence — like Jodie Foster in practically all her movies.
The ride balances comfort and composure nicely. Firm enough for zigzagging through congested traffic, but smooth enough to endure long highway drives.
Inside, the cabin is modern, airy and beautifully assembled. Volvo uses soft textiles, brushed metal and minimalist trim pieces to create an upscale aura. The vertically oriented touchscreen integrates Google apps, like Maps and Assistant. Once you get used to it, the system feels intuitive and tech-forward.
Volvo also excels at clever practicality. Door pockets are enormous. There’s even a removable trash bin in the center console.
While the XC40 may cost more than its mainstream rivals, it offers something they can’t quite replicate. Effortless cool.
In September 2024, I wrote about the District’s Lead-Free D.C. initiative, an ambitious effort to remove lead pipes and make drinking water safer for every resident in our city. Since that original article, a number of important developments have taken shape that affect everyone living in the District. Key drivers in the legal landscape surrounding this issue such as disclosure, testing, and infrastructure planning have been sharpened. The city’s sweeping pipe replacement efforts are continuing to evolve against the backdrop of broader federal drinking-water rules and funding changes.
What was once largely public health conversation for the future is now a practical reality for many property owners and renters. The water service line replacement project has moved from planning and is presently underway throughout the city.
Elevated levels of lead in drinking water is a perplexing challenge in many U.S cities. Researchers documented elevated lead levels in D.C.’s water system more than two decades ago, spotlighting how old infrastructure can pose a hidden health risk even in one of America’s wealthiest cities. Local leaders responded with pipe replacement plans that have continued in the years since.
The Lead-Free D.C. initiative remains the central effort to reduce that risk by replacing water supply lines. These are the pipes that carry water to your home or rental property from the street. D.C. Water estimates that tens of thousands of lead or galvanized service lines still exist in the city and must be systematically replaced to eliminate this exposure.
What Has Changed Since September 2024
Over the past 18 months, several shifts have rippled through policy, practice, and the daily experience of both landlords and tenants:
- Local Disclosure and Tenant Rights: The city has strengthened disclosure requirements. Today, property owners are expected to provide clear written disclosures about known lead service lines, any testing that has been done, and records of past replacements. Tenants also have the right to request lead testing of their tap water, and landlords are responsible for ordering and passing along the test kit, and are required by law to share results with tenants when requested.This reflects an ongoing push toward transparency and an informed occupancy.
- Pipeline Replacement Planning: D.C. Water and the District Government are continuing to roll out their block-by-block lead service line replacement work, with construction schedules publicly available through a Lead-Free D.C. construction dashboard. The goal is to remove by 2030 all lead service lines on both the public and private side, though timelines and funding mechanisms are still being refined as the work continues. D.C.’s Lead-Free DC initiative stipulates that DC Water is responsible to replace the public portion of a lead service line at no cost to the property owners. This is the section running from the water main under the street to the property owner’s lot line. When DC Water is already replacing the public side as part of a scheduled infrastructure project, it will also offer to replace the private-side service line (into the building) at no cost to the owner, as long as the owner grants access and signs a right-of-entry agreement. In these cases, DC Water pays the contractor directly, and the entire lead service line is removed in one coordinated effort.
When no public-side project is scheduled, owners may still qualify for full private-side replacement coverage through the District’s Lead Pipe Replacement Assistance Program (LPRAP). If approved, the program covers the cost of replacing the private-side lead pipe, with funds paid directly to the contractor. Property owners are typically responsible for selecting the contractor, coordinating the work, and covering any costs outside the approved scope of work. Funding is subject to availability, and eligible applicants may be placed on a waiting list depending on annual program budgets.
- Implementation Best Practices: To avoid challenges and misunderstandings regarding the responsibilities during such a significant undertaking, fully investigating the program and how it works is a good first start as is regular and clear communications.
It’s helpful for both property owners and residents to have a clear understanding of what D.C. Water and construction crews will be doing during a lead service line replacement and what follow-up work may remain once the project is complete. Like any major infrastructure upgrade, the process can involve temporary water shutoffs, excavation around the building, and some restoration afterward, such as repairing landscaping or sections of sidewalk. While these short-term disruptions can be inconvenient, they’re a normal and necessary part of modernizing the city’s water system and ensuring safer drinking water for the long term.
- Federal Drinking Water Rules: On the national stage, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) finalized in October 2024 the Lead and Copper Rule Improvements (LCRI). The LCRI requires public water systems across the country to inventory and plan to replace lead service lines, and to remove all lead pipes within about a decade. It also strengthens testing, monitoring, and public notification requirements and lowers the action level for lead exposure, building on earlier revisions to the Lead and Copper Rule.
While these federal changes do not rewrite Washington, D.C.’s specific legal requirements for landlords and tenants, they do help shape funding opportunities, compliance expectations, and the broader national push to eliminate lead plumbing, which can affect utilities, state programs, and local infrastructure planning.
Federal drinking water regulations are subject to administrative review, litigation, and potential revisions as presidential administrations change. While the EPA’s 2024 Lead and Copper Rule Improvements remain in effect as of this writing, aspects of implementation, enforcement timelines, or funding mechanisms may evolve through future rulemaking, court decisions, or congressional action. These federal rules do not override Washington, D.C.’s independent authority to adopt and enforce its own public health, housing, and water safety requirements, which continue to govern landlord and tenant obligations within the District regardless of federal regulatory shifts.
What Landlords Should Know
For landlords in D.C., these evolving expectations matter in 3 key ways:
- Disclosure Is Now a Must: You are expected to provide prospective tenants with upfront information about lead service lines, known test results, and replacement history before lease signing. Existing tenants must also be informed if you learn anything new about the plumbing system.
- Testing Should Be Welcomed, Not Avoided: When tenants request a lead water test, you’re now required to provide D.C. Water’s approved kit and cooperate with the process. The test results give both sides clear information about water quality and whether additional remediation is advisable.
- Capital Investment May Be Unavoidable: Even if much of the public-side work is funded by D.C. Water, private-side service line replacement costs and restoration work may still fall to the property owner if the home still has lead service lines. Planning for both the expense and the logistics is key to be able to take advantage of this program being offered to D.C. homeowners.
What This Means for Tenants
For renters, the changes bring clearer rights and fewer unknowns. Tenants no longer have to guess whether lead pipes serve their home; they can request testing, receive timely results, and rely on official disclosures when deciding where to live and how to protect their health.
Transparent communication with the landlord, responsiveness to testing requests, and participation in replacement programs turn regulatory requirements into real-world safeguards. In that way, landlord action directly shapes tenant trust, housing stability, and long-term public health outcomes.
At a moment when the District is investing heavily in its infrastructure, landlords who plan ahead and participate help to ensure that these public resources translate into safer housing, stronger neighborhoods, and a city better equipped for the future.
Why This Still Matters
Lead-free water shouldn’t be a luxury. Continued investment by federal and local governments in Washington, D.C.’s water infrastructure reflects a shared commitment to the city’s long-term health and livability. Modernizing service lines helps ensure that people can raise families here, age in place, and remain part of their communities without the added health concerns associated with lead exposure.
Landlords who take the time now to understand, disclose, and plan for lead service line replacement not only comply with evolving expectations, but they also strengthen the long-term value and marketability of their properties.
Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager of Columbia Property Management.
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