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Gay troops come out after demise of ‘Don’t Ask’

Troops no longer fear discharge under military’s gay ban

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(from left) Jonathan Hopkins, Ty Walrod, Zac Mathews, Sarah Pezzat, Jonathan Mills and Josh Seefried.

Gay service members are beginning to make their sexual orientation known now that the 18-year-old law prohibiting open service known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has finally been lifted from the books.

Troops affiliated with OutServe, an organization of active duty LGBT military members, touted the importance of the change during a news conference Tuesday at the Human Rights Campaign headquarters in D.C.

1st Lt. Josh Seefried, a New Jersey-based finance director for the Air Force and OutServe’s co-founder and co-director, said being able to take part fully in the military family was particularly important to him.

“That’s what the military brags about so much is having that aspect of being part of the family, being part of the team,” Seefried said. “I almost resented the Air Force for not giving me that opportunity to be part of that team, not being able to bring someone to an event. Now I feel like I can go back to work and I can be part of that team now and actually be honest.”

Under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” Seefried had gone by the alias J.D. Smith to avoid being expelled from military as he headed his 4,300-member LGBT organization. Now that the gay ban has been lifted, he’s free to be public with his real name as a gay airman.

Lt. Cmdr. Zac Matthews, a Coast Guard helicopter pilot who’s served on both U.S. coasts as well as the Alaska and Bering Sea, similarly said he feels like “part of the family again.”

“For so many years, it’s been my partner and I on the outside looking at service members and their spouses participating in social events, being part of a network, getting together after work and on the weekends,” Matthews said. “For the first time today, I feel as though we’re part of this big, at least in my case, a Coast Guard family — and that’s a big deal to me.”

In addition to participating in OutServe, Matthews chairs Service Academy Gay & Lesbian Alumni, or SAGALA, which encompasses members from all five service academies. He graduated from the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy in 2000.

Capt. Sarah Pezzat, a D.C.-based Marine Corps reservist who served in operations in Haiti, Iraq, and Somalia, said the end to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” makes Tuesday feels markedly different than previous days.

“For me, it feels different to me because I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time,” Pezzat said. “I can post about it on Facebook, I can tell my co-workers if I want to what I did last weekend, things like that.

In 2007, Pezzat left active duty to become a police officer for the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department. This year, she volunteered for an active duty position in logistics at the Pentagon’s Marine Corps headquarters and is hoping to deploy again to Afghanistan.

Still, Pezzat said the demise of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” isn’t as significant for her straight counterparts. She said one of her colleagues mentioned to her that another service member came out after the ban was lifted, but she hadn’t heard anything else.

Tech. Sgt. Jonathan Mills, a D.C.-based radio frequency transmission technician for the Air Force, said the end to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is a “huge weight lifted” from his shoulders.

“Waking up this morning, I thought to myself no more do I have to constantly worry about ending my career because of this,” Mills said. “I don’t have to worry about lying to anyone and compromising. To me, there’s a fundamental difference.”

Mills is executive editor for OutServe Magazine. The latest edition of the online publication showcases 101 openly gay service members who have come out in the wake of the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Also present at the news conference was Jonathan Hopkins, who’s affiliated with OutServe, and Tyler Walrod, the civilian co-chair of OutServe. The only non-military member of the 4,300-large group, Walrod works on technology in San Francisco.

What do gay service members see as the next priority for the LGBT rights movement now that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is off the books. Those present at the HRC presser said they wanted to see action on partner benefits that would put gay troops on the same footing as the same footing as their straight counterparts.

Seefried said the No. 1 thing that people are concerned about in the U.S. military is partner because he said they’re “everything for us.”

“I’m in a military-military relationship and I’m set to move in the next seven months without a chance of having a joint spouse assignment,” Seefried said. “Those relationships just get torn apart. I think that that’s something most people in the military — everyone’s going to be affected.”

The Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits federal recognition of same-sex marriage, prevents gay service members from obtaining certain partner benefits — such as health benefits. However, the Pentagon could take administrative action to enable other benefits, such as those related to housing and legal services.

Despite the change, Matthews said he doesn’t believe the focus of gay service members will change much beyond doing the jobs to which they’ve been assigned.

“I think there’s definitely going to be a lot of people in a good mood celebrating,” Matthews said. “I think that’s a given. But I think that the bottom line is we’re all professionals and we all know that we come to work to do our job; we don’t come to work to be gay. We just are gay. And the bottom line is: we’ve been taught to work as a team to accomplish the mission.”

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated Matthews chairs a U.S. Merchant Marine Academy gay alumni group. The Washington Blade regrets the error.

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U.S. Supreme Court

Activists rally for Andry Hernández Romero in front of Supreme Court

Gay asylum seeker ‘forcibly deported’ to El Salvador, described as political prisoner

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Immigrant Defenders Law Center President Lindsay Toczylowski, on right, speaks in support of her client, Andry Hernández Romero, in front of the U.S. Supreme Court on June 6, 2025. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

More than 200 people gathered in front of the U.S. Supreme Court on Friday and demanded the Trump-Vance administration return to the U.S. a gay Venezuelan asylum seeker who it “forcibly disappeared” to El Salvador.

Lindsay Toczylowski, president of the Immigrant Defenders Law Center, a Los Angeles-based organization that represents Andry Hernández Romero, is among those who spoke alongside U.S. Rep. Mark Takano (D-Calif.) and Human Rights Campaign Campaigns and Communications Vice President Jonathan Lovitz. Sarah Longwell of the Bulwark, Pod Save America’s Jon Lovett, and Tim Miller are among those who also participated in the rally.

“Andry is a son, a brother. He’s an actor, a makeup artist,” said Toczylowski. “He is a gay man who fled Venezuela because it was not safe for him to live there as his authentic self.”

(Video by Michael K. Lavers)

The White House on Feb. 20 designated Tren de Aragua, a Venezuelan gang, as an “international terrorist organization.”

President Donald Trump on March 15 invoked the Alien Enemies Act of 1798, which the Associated Press notes allows the U.S. to deport “noncitizens without any legal recourse.” The Trump-Vance administration subsequently “forcibly removed” Hernández and hundreds of other Venezuelans to El Salvador.

Toczylowski said she believes Hernández remains at El Salvador’s Terrorism Confinement Center, a maximum-security prison known by the Spanish acronym CECOT. Toczylowski also disputed claims that Hernández is a Tren de Aragua member.

“Andry fled persecution in Venezuela and came to the U.S. to seek protection. He has no criminal history. He is not a member of the Tren de Aragua gang. Yet because of his crown tattoos, we believe at this moment that he sits in a torture prison, a gulag, in El Salvador,” said Toczylowski. “I say we believe because we have not had any proof of life for him since the day he was put on a U.S. government-funded plane and forcibly disappeared to El Salvador.”

“Andry is not alone,” she added.

Takano noted the federal government sent his parents, grandparents, and other Japanese Americans to internment camps during World War II under the Alien Enemies Act. The gay California Democrat also described Hernández as “a political prisoner, denied basic rights under a law that should have stayed in the past.”

“He is not a case number,” said Takano. “He is a person.”

Hernández had been pursuing his asylum case while at the Otay Mesa Detention Center in San Diego.

A hearing had been scheduled to take place on May 30, but an immigration judge the day before dismissed his case. Immigrant Defenders Law Center has said it will appeal the decision to the Board of Immigration Appeals, which the Justice Department oversees.

“We will not stop fighting for Andry, and I know neither will you,” said Toczylowski.

Friday’s rally took place hours after Attorney General Pam Bondi said Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a Maryland man who the Trump-Vance administration wrongfully deported to El Salvador, had returned to the U.S. Abrego will face federal human trafficking charges in Tennessee.

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A husband’s story: Michael Carroll reflects on life with Edmund White

Iconic author died this week; ‘no sunnier human in the world’

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Michael Carroll spoke to the Blade after the death his husband Edmund White this week. (Photo by Michael Carroll)

Unlike most gay men of my generation, I’ve only been to Fire Island twice. Even so, the memory of my first visit has never left me. The scenery was lovely, and the boys were sublime — but what stood out wasn’t the beach or the parties. It was a quiet afternoon spent sipping gin and tonics in a mid-century modern cottage tucked away from the sand and sun.

Despite Fire Island’s reputation for hedonism, our meeting was more accident than escapade. Michael Carroll — a Facebook friend I’d chatted with but never met — mentioned that he and his husband, Ed, would be there that weekend, too. We agreed to meet for a drink. On a whim, I checked his profile and froze. Ed was author Edmund White.

I packed a signed copy of Carroll’s “Little Reef” and a dog-eared hardback of “A Boy’s Own Story,” its spine nearly broken from rereads. I was excited to meet both men and talk about writing, even briefly.

Yesterday, I woke to the news that Ed had passed away. Ironically, my first thought was of Michael.

This week, tributes to Edmund White are everywhere — rightly celebrating his towering legacy as a novelist, essayist, and cultural icon. I’ve read all of his books, and I could never do justice to the scope of a career that defined and chronicled queer life for more than half a century. I’ll leave that to better-prepared journalists.

But in those many memorials, I’ve noticed something missing. When Michael Carroll is mentioned, it’s usually just a passing reference: “White’s partner of thirty years, twenty-five years his junior.” And yet, in the brief time I spent with this couple on Fire Island, it was clear to me that Michael was more than a footnote — he was Ed’s anchor, editor, companion, and champion. He was the one who knew his husband best.

They met in 1995 after Michael wrote Ed a fan letter to tell him he was coming to Paris. “He’d lost the great love of his life a year before,” Michael told me. “In one way, I filled a space. Understand, I worshiped this man and still do.”

When I asked whether there was a version of Ed only he knew, Michael answered without hesitation: “No sunnier human in the world, obvious to us and to people who’ve only just or never met him. No dark side. Psychology had helped erase that, I think, or buffed it smooth.”

Despite the age difference and divergent career arcs, their relationship was intellectually and emotionally symbiotic. “He made me want to be elegant and brainy; I didn’t quite reach that, so it led me to a slightly pastel minimalism,” Michael said. “He made me question my received ideas. He set me free to have sex with whoever I wanted. He vouchsafed my moods when they didn’t wobble off axis. Ultimately, I encouraged him to write more minimalistically, keep up the emotional complexity, and sleep with anyone he wanted to — partly because I wanted to do that too.”

Fully open, it was a committed relationship that defied conventional categories. Ed once described it as “probably like an 18th-century marriage in France.” Michael elaborated: “It means marriage with strong emotion — or at least a tolerance for one another — but no sex; sex with others. I think.”

That freedom, though, was always anchored in deep devotion and care — and a mutual understanding that went far beyond art, philosophy, or sex. “He believed in freedom and desire,” Michael said, “and the two’s relationship.”

When I asked what all the essays and articles hadn’t yet captured, Michael paused. “Maybe that his writing was tightly knotted, but that his true personality was vulnerable, and that he had the defense mechanisms of cheer and optimism to conceal that vulnerability. But it was in his eyes.”

The moment that captured who Ed was to him came at the end. “When he was dying, his second-to-last sentence (garbled then repeated) was, ‘Don’t forget to pay Merci,’ the cleaning lady coming the next day. We had had a rough day, and I was popping off like a coach or dad about getting angry at his weakness and pushing through it. He took it almost like a pack mule.” 

Edmund White’s work shaped generations — it gave us language for desire, shame, wit, and liberation. But what lingers just as powerfully is the extraordinary life Ed lived with a man who saw him not only as a literary giant but as a real person: sunny, complex, vulnerable, generous.

In the end, Ed’s final words to his husband weren’t about his books or his legacy. They were about care, decency, and love. “You’re good,” he told Michael—a benediction, a farewell, maybe even a thank-you.

And now, as the world celebrates the prolific writer and cultural icon Edmund White, it feels just as important to remember the man and the person who knew him best. Not just the story but the characters who stayed to see it through to the end.

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District of Columbia

In town for WorldPride? Take a D.C. LGBTQ walking tour

Scenes of protest, celebration, and mourning

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Frank Kameny's house at 5020 Cathedral Ave., N.W. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

As Washington welcomes the world for WorldPride, it’s essential to honor the city’s deep-rooted LGBTQ history—an integral part of the broader story of the nation’s capital. The following locations have served as cornerstones of queer life and activism in D.C., shaping both local and national movements for LGBTQ rights. So take a walk around “the gayest city in America” and check out these sites.

DUPONT CIRCLE AREA

Dupont Circle
Central hub of LGBTQ life since the early 20th century, hosting Pride parades, Dyke Marches, and cruising culture. A long-standing site of protests and celebrations.

Washington Hilton – 1919 Connecticut Ave NW
Hosted D.C.’s first major hotel drag event in 1968 and the iconic Miss Adams Morgan Pageant. Protested in 1978 during Anita Bryant’s appearance.

Lesbian Avengers – 1426 21st St NW
Formed in 1992, the group empowered lesbians through bold direct actions. They met in Dupont Circle and launched the city’s first Dyke March.

Lambda Rising Bookstore (former) – 1724 20th Street NW
D.C.’s first LGBTQ bookstore and the birthplace of the city’s inaugural Pride celebration in 1975.

Women In The Life (former office) – 1623 Connecticut Ave NW
Founded in 1993 by Sheila Alexander-Reid as a safe space and support network for lesbians of color.

17th Street NW Corridor – Between P & R Streets NW
Core of the LGBTQ business district, home to the annual High Heel Race in October and the June Block Party celebrating the origins of D.C. Pride.

CAPITOL HILL / SOUTHEAST

Tracks (former) – 80 M St SE
Once D.C.’s largest gay club, famous for inclusive parties, RuPaul shows, and foam nights from 1984 to 2000.

Ziegfeld’s / The Other Side – 1345 Half Street SE
Legendary drag venue since 1978, hosting famed performers like Ella Fitzgerald.

Club 55 / Waaay Off Broadway – 55 K Street SE
Converted theater central to D.C.’s early drag and Academy pageant scenes.

Congressional Cemetery – 1801 E Street SE
Resting place of LGBTQ figures like Sgt. Leonard Matlovich and Peter Doyle. Offers queer history tours.

Mr. Henry’s – 601 Pennsylvania Ave SE
LGBTQ-friendly bar since 1966 and the launching stage for Roberta Flack’s career.

The Furies Collective House – 219 11th Street SE
Home to a 1970s lesbian feminist collective that published “The Furies.” Members included Rita Mae Brown.

ARCHIVES / PENN QUARTER

Archives Metro & Center Market Site – 7th St & Pennsylvania Ave NW
Where Walt Whitman met Peter Doyle in 1865, commemorated by a sculpture linking Whitman and poet Fernando Pessoa.

COLUMBIA HEIGHTS / PETWORTH

Palm Ballroom (former) – 4211 9th Street NW
Mid-20th century venue for Black drag balls and LGBTQ events during segregation.

NATIONAL MALL AREA

National Mall / Washington Monument Grounds
Historic site of LGBTQ activism and remembrance, including the 1987 display of the AIDS Memorial Quilt and a mass same-sex wedding. Hosted major civil rights marches in 1979, 1987, and 1993.

NORTHWEST DC

Dr. Franklin E. Kameny House – 5020 Cathedral Ave NW
Home of gay rights pioneer Frank Kameny and the Mattachine Society of Washington; now a national landmark.

LAFAYETTE SQUARE / WHITE HOUSE

Lafayette Park – Pennsylvania Ave & 16th St NW
Historic gay cruising area and epicenter of government surveillance during the Lavender Scare.

Data from: SSecret City by James Kirchick, The Deviant’s War by Frank Kameny, Brett Beemyn, The Rainbow History Project, NPS Archives, Washington Blade Archives.

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