Living
You don’t have to go far to get away
Richmond, Philly, Rehoboth, Lost River make for memorable regional getaways
Richmond rolls out the rainbow carpet
The Richmond Convention & Visitors Bureau — like those of many mid-size cities — has put a lot of effort into enticing the lavender dollar. Virginia may be one of the most anti-gay states legislatively, but Richmond is rolling out the rainbow carpet and has much to offer the discerning gay traveler.
For starters, it’s only two hours from Washington. And taking a comfortable round-trip Amtrak ride from Union Station runs about $50.
LGBT travelers are especially welcome at the Linden Row Inn as well as Maury Place at Monument bed and breakfast.
The Linden Row Inn offers spacious rooms filled with ornate antiques from the mid-to-late 1800s. The fully restored Greek revival hotel is conveniently located in the center of historic downtown Richmond. Prices range from around $110 per night for a sprawling, well-decorated two-bedroom to around $240 per night for a gracious parlor room. For more information or to reserve a room, go to lindenrowinn.com.
The gay-owned Maury Place at Monument bed and breakfast offers an intimate setting with meticulous attention to design. The luxury guesthouse boasts a seasonal swimming pool, four suites with sumptuous decor, heated tile floors in the bathrooms and a welcoming-yet-unobtrusive staff. Prices range from around $190 to $290 per night. Go to mauryplace.com to book a room.
There are many great restaurants in Richmond, but Chez Fouchee and the Empress stand out.
Chez Fouchee, a gay-owned restaurant nestled between downtown and the Broad Street arts district, has an affordable-yet-satisfying lunch menu seven days a week and a fine dining dinner on Fridays and Saturdays. For lunch, try an artisan baguette sandwich, the quiche du jour or one of the original salads. Prices range from $7.50 for a baguette or salad to $13.50 for a lunch steak. For the more formal dinner, be prepared to spend more than $20 per entrée. Save room for dessert; the rich lemon butter cake is worth the extra trip to the gym. For menus, reservations and more information, go to chezfoushee.com.
The Empress serves elegant cuisine that any foodie will love. The cozy lesbian-owned restaurant offers scintillating and innovative dishes ranging from bison lasagna to pistachio crusted duck breast. Vegetarian options round out the menu. Prices for entrées range from $10 to $15 and market price for seafood. The Empress serves breakfast and lunch Mondays through Fridays and dinner Tuesdays through Sundays with a brunch on Sundays. Go to theempressrva.com for more information.
There are many things to do in Richmond, and plenty to perk the interest of the LGBT traveler looking for art, history and nightlife.
The Virginia Museum of Fine Arts is a major attraction for travelers and Richmond residents alike. The glass and stone museum holds 23,000 works of art in its permanent collection and is host to world-class special exhibitions. Go to vmfa.museum for information on exhibits, food, events and more.
The River City is home to several theater companies with shows ranging from the classics to the avant garde. Of special interest to a gay audience is Richmond Triangle Players, an LGBT theater company. James Edwin Parker’s gay-themed “2 Boys in a Bed on a Cold Winter’s Night” is having its Virginia premiere on Thursday and will run through Feb. 4. Go to rtriangle.org for tickets, show times and more information on the company.
To unwind after a long day of exploring, there are many LGBT nightlife destinations. For an action-packed nightlife experience, go to Nations on West Broad Street. The club has two bars, a large dance floor and a drag cabaret. For a more laid back experience, Barcode on East Grace Street offers a friendly atmosphere complete with lunch and dinner specials. The best place to meet women is Babes of Carytown located on West Cary Street. Babes is welcoming to everyone and features live music and a drag show. Godfrey’s Restaurant and Nightclub on East Grace Street transforms from a lively dance club at night to a fun drag brunch on Sunday mornings. Reservations are required for the drag brunch.
There’s an LGBT section at visitrichmondva.com that’s a must-visit site if you plan to go.
MICHAEL KEY
Flowers, photos and more in Philly
As one of the country’s largest metro areas, Philadelphia is always bustling with gay energy but two spring attractions are especially worth noting — lesbian photographer Zoe Strauss has a major exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum of Art that runs through April 22. And time your visit right and you can also catch the Philadelphia International Flower Show slated for March 4-11.

One of the major exhibits at last year’s Philadelphia Flower Show (Photo courtesy Pennsylvania Horticultural Society)
The latter, a tradition since 1829 that now draws about 250,000 visitors each year, is “a fantastic show for anybody interested in flowers, plants and greening but anybody can enjoy it,” says Alan Jaffe, PR manager for the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society, which stages the event each year.
This year’s theme is “Hawaii: Islands of Aloha” so expect the usual eye-popping displays built around an exotic theme. LGBT Night Out is March 5 from 6 to 8:30 p.m. and the event always draws plenty of gays including exhibitors, designers, landscape architects and more.
The event is at the Pennsylvania Convention Center (12th and Arch Streets). Visit theflowershow.com for details.
Strauss is an unlikely success story. The former babysitter with no formal training in photography launched a 10-year project to display her work for one day each year underneath Interstate 95 in South Philadelphia (she’s a Philly native). Critical acclaim came in time and now she’s the subject of a major exhibition that launched two weeks ago and features several special events as well as 39 donated billboard displays featuring her photos through the spring.
The 41-year-old Strauss, who lives with her wife Lynn Bloom in South Philly, says her lesbian identity is endlessly informing of her work even in non-obvious ways.
“It’s extremely central to it because I’m a lesbian and my work is very personal so it’s central to everything I make whether it’s presented in that moment or not,” she says. “I’m very interested in gender and the fluidity of it, so it’s of great importance to my overall body of work,” she says. “And even if (a particular image) is not directly related to the LGBT community, it still kind of always is because I’m the one making it.”
The Museum is on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway at 26th Street. Visit philamuseum.org for details.
JOEY DiGUGLIELMO
Rehoboth’s off-season appeal
Before the summer rush, there are loads of activities that Washington’s LGBT community will find enticing in Rehoboth Beach, Del.
You can see men in skimpy swim trunks or elaborate costumes plunge into the cold Atlantic Ocean on Feb. 5 in a benefit for Special Olympics Delaware, and a week later, on Feb. 11, you can shop at the Convention Center at the state’s largest indoor garage sale, Merchant’s Attic I. Merchant’s Attic II is scheduled for St. Patrick’s Day.
The Blue Moon reopens Feb. 9, and judging by the dumpsters outside the Moon this winter, there are many upgrades awaiting inside.
Washington’s own Gay Men’s Chorus will join with the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus in concert on Feb. 11 at 7 p.m.
The President’s Day weekend traditionally has CAMP Rehoboth co-sponsor a mini film festival called “Another Take” with the Rehoboth Beach Film Society. This year, the films are the award-winning “Beginners” (Feb. 18), and the Chely Wright documentary, “Wish Me Away” (Feb. 19). Both begin at 2 p.m. and are shown upstairs at the Movies at Midway.
March 3 brings another Rehoboth tradition, as the Convention Center will be filled with the smell of chocolate at the annual Chocolate Festival. March will end with another Convention Center tradition, now in its 15th year, the Resorts Home Expo, showcasing the top home service companies, developers, Realtors and mortgage firms (March 31-April 1).
Camp Rehoboth holds a Women’s Fest each April, this year from April 12-15, and will feature Col. Grethe Cammermeyer and Suzanne Westenhoefer among others.
If you have a summer residence at the beach or are thinking of owning a place, you’ll want to want to check out the Designer Show House (10 Fourth Street) on Fridays through Sundays April 20-May 6. For the odds and ends that you must have, the very popular annual Spring Sidewalk Sale will be held May 18-20. And do not forget that the second Saturday of each month throughout the year the arts community holds the Mosaic Art Walk.
If you are looking for pure entertainment, most of the bars and restaurants continue to offer specials during the winter and spring and there are theater options at both Clear Space in Rehoboth and Possum Point in Georgetown, or you might want to check out the expanded Proud! Bookstore, which has moved directly across from its former location at Village by the Sea, on the Baltimore Avenue side.
PETER SCHOTT
Big change in Lost River
If you’re more into mountains than beaches, then consider visiting Lost River, W.Va. Curl up with a good book by the fire, enjoy a robust cabernet with friends at the Guesthouse, or go for a brisk winter hike.
After 30 years in business, the gay-owned Guesthouse at Lost River changed ownership earlier this month. New owners Michael Cooley and Gary Robinson promise to continue the gay-friendly traditions of the Guesthouse. They are currently featuring a winter craft beer selection from Frederick’s Flying Dog Brewery in the lounge. The Guesthouse also offers wedding packages and can supply couples with photographers, DJs and everything to make the celebration of your wedding or commitment ceremony memorable. Visit guesthouselostriver.com for more information.
Real Estate
Real terrors of homeownership come from neglect, not ghosts
Mold, termites, frayed wires scarier than any poltergeist
Each October, we decorate our homes with cobwebs, skeletons, and flickering jack-o’-lanterns to create that spooky Halloween atmosphere. But for anyone who’s ever been through a home inspection there’s no need for fake scares. Homes can hide terrors that send chills down your spine any time of year. From ghostly noises in the attic to toxic monsters in the basement, here are some of the eeriest (but real) things inspectors and homeowners discover.
Every haunted house movie starts with a creepy basement, and in real life, it’s often just as menacing. Mold, mildew, and hidden water leaks lurk down there like invisible phantoms. At first, it’s just a musty smell — something you might brush off as “old house syndrome,” but soon enough, you realize those black or green patches creeping along the walls can be more sinister than any poltergeist.
Black mold (Stachybotrys chartarum) is particularly fearsome – it thrives in damp, dark places and can cause serious respiratory problems. It’s not just gross – it’s toxic and, while some types of mold can be easily cleaned up, removing black mold can cost more than an exorcism.
Have you ever heard strange buzzing or seen flickering lights that seem to move on their own? Before you call the Ghostbusters, call an electrician. Faulty wiring, outdated panels, and aluminum circuits from the mid-20th century are the true villains behind many mysterious house fires. Home inspectors can also find open junction boxes, frayed wires stuffed behind walls, or overloaded breaker panels that hum like a restless spirit.
Imagine an invisible specter floating through your home – something that’s been there since the 1950s, waiting for you to disturb it. That’s asbestos. Home inspectors dread discovering asbestos insulation around old boilers or wrapped around ductwork. It’s often lurking in popcorn ceilings, floor tiles, and even wall plaster. You can’t see it, smell it, or feel it—but inhaling those microscopic fibers can lead to serious illness decades later.
Lead pipes, once thought to be durable and reliable, are like the vampires of your water system – quietly poisoning what sustains you. The results of a lead test can be chilling: even a small amount of lead exposure is dangerous, particularly for children.
And it’s not just pipes – lead paint is another problem that refuses to die. You might find it sealed beneath layers of newer paint, biding its time until it chips or flakes away. This is why, when selling a property built prior to 1978, homeowners must disclose any knowledge of lead paint in the home and provide any records they may have of its presence or abatement.
Scratching in the walls. Tiny footsteps overhead. Droppings in the attic. It’s not a poltergeist – it’s pests. Termites, rats, bats, carpenter ants, and even raccoons can do more damage than any ghost ever could.
Termites are the silent assassins of the home world, chewing through beams and joists until the structure itself starts to sag. Rats and mice leave behind droppings that can spread disease and contaminate food. Bats are federally protected, meaning your haunted attic guests can’t just be evicted without proper precautions. And I once had a raccoon give birth in my chimney flue; my dogs went crazy.
Ever step into a home and feel the floors tilt under your feet? That’s no ghostly illusion – it’s the foundation shifting beneath you. Cracked walls, doors that won’t close, and windows that rattle in their frames are the architectural equivalent of a horror movie scream.
Foundation damage can come from settling soil, poor drainage, or tree roots rising from under the structure. In extreme cases, inspectors find entire crawl spaces flooded, joists eaten by rot, or support beams cracked like brittle bones. Repair costs can be monstrous – and if left unchecked, the whole house could become a haunted ruin.
Some homes hold more than just physical scares. Behind the drywall or under the floorboards, inspectors may uncover personal relics – old letters, photographs, even hidden safes or forgotten rooms. Occasionally, however, there are stranger finds: jars of preserved “specimens,” taxidermy gone wrong, or mysterious symbols scrawled in attic spaces.
These discoveries tell stories of the people who lived there before, sometimes fascinating, sometimes chilling, but they all add to the eerie charm of an old home, reminding us that every house has a history — and some histories don’t like to stay buried.
So, while haunted houses may be a Halloween fantasy, the real terrors in homeownership come from neglect, not ghosts. Regular inspections, good maintenance, and modern updates are the garlic and holy water that turn a trick of a home into a treat.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed associate broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
Advice
Sexual desire is waning, should we open our relationship?
Couple faces difficult choices after seven years
Dear Michael,
When I met my husband seven years ago, I was super attracted to him and we had a really hot sex life.
That feeling has been waning for a while and now I am just not feeling it.
I know that people get older, gain weight, get less attractive over time but that’s not the case here. Ben is as good looking as ever. But I have little desire to have sex with him.
It bothers me that I don’t really want to have sex with the guy I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.
Is this why everyone else I know has an open relationship? Is there something I can do to want to have sex with my husband again?
This is causing major problems in my marriage. I don’t initiate anymore and half the time I find an excuse to not have sex when Ben initiates. He knows something is up but I usually blame it on work stress or not feeling well. I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
Aside from this, I love Ben and we have a lot of fun together. We’re very close, talk about all sorts of stuff, but not this.
Michael replies:
Pretty much everyone in a long-term relationship has to deal with decreased desire at some point.
Sex changes after you’ve been with your partner for a while. Sex is not going to be as easy, hot, and irresistible as it was at the beginning of the relationship. Newness generates a lot of the sexual heat at the outset of a relationship, and when the newness is gone, you don’t easily feel the same sizzling excitement that you felt when you first met.
Unfortunately, the kind of sex that people have at the beginning of a relationship is totally glorified in our culture as the gold standard of sex.
I say “unfortunately” because it’s not possible to consistently have the hot sex of a new relationship, ongoing, with a long-term partner. So if you think that is the best or only kind of sex to have, you will be contemptuous of anything else, and you will be disappointed in your sex life with your partner as time marches on.
But the sizzling sex people have at the start of a relationship is just one way to have sex. If you are willing to be imaginative, and are open to change, there are many other kinds of sex that can be wonderful.
How about sex for emotional connection? Sex for physical closeness? Sex for romance? Sex to celebrate just being together?
So, consider changing (not lowering!) your expectations. Rather than sulking or moping that you don’t want to spontaneously jump Ben’s bones, be open to having sex with your husband that is based more on your relationship and on your love for each other.
Now, here’s a whole other angle to consider: While the excitement of a new partner often fades, there are still ways to generate excitement and passion in a long-term relationship by taking risks and revealing yourself more deeply. Stick with me and I’ll explain.
- You haven’t said anything to Ben about your waning interest. I encourage you to re-think this. You would be much better positioned to tackle this issue collaboratively. Not talking about how stuck you feel is likely to deepen your feeling of shame and fear that something is wrong. Speaking with Ben about what is actually a fairly common couples’ issue could be a relief.
- Ironic as this may seem, the closer two people are, the less comfortable they may be being frankly sexual with each other. Clients often tell me that they are more comfortable expressing their real desires to someone they hardly know (or don’t know at all) than to their significant other. For one thing, the more your partner means to you, the more you may fear rejection if you reveal sexual feelings and desires that might upset or even shock your partner. For another, as couples get closer, sex may start to feel like too much closeness, and avoiding sex may be a way to create some space.
Not speaking up about what is important keeps you distant from your partner and drains your relationship of vitality. A powerful antidote to this: work toward becoming a person who can take risks, tolerate discomfort and uncertainty, and be able stand on your own when you don’t get your partner’s validation.
Talking with Ben, whether it’s about your lack of spontaneous desire for sex, or about sexual interests you may be keeping from him for fear of judgment, would involve your making uncomfortable moves that might lead to Ben’s judgment or even rejection. But doing so would also, of course, allow the possibility of more happening between you sexually. It would also let Ben know you better, thereby deepening the level of intimacy in your relationship. Making these moves could also be inherently exciting, which —guess what—could help to shake you out of your sexual doldrums and bring more passion and life into your relationship.
Similarly, you might start initiating. Even if you’re afraid it won’t go well and even if you’re not feeling it. That is the only way you are going to figure out how to have satisfying long-term sex. Take the need for an erection or orgasm off the table. Sex with your partner should not be a performance. Go for closeness, connection, and what feels good. And challenge yourself to go places that you are uncomfortable about going.
If any of this intrigues you, “Passionate Marriage” and “Intimacy and Desire,” both by David Schnarch, explore how your sexual connection can deepen over time in a long-term relationship.
Finally, with regard to your considering an open relationship as a remedy: Do you think that would enhance the sexual connection between you and Ben?
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Wedding Announcement
Douglas M. Haller and Timothy H. Longnecker wed in Detroit, Michigan
Couple weds in Detroit, Michigan
Douglas M. Haller and Timothy H. Longnecker were married on September 15, 2025 in Detroit’s gay-welcoming suburb Ferndale after 11 years as domestic partners in Midtown Detroit. Julia Music, coordinator of LGBTQ Pride celebrations in Ferndale, served as officiant.
The couple sang stanzas of the 1927 song “Side By Side” as their vows, concluding with an AI Gay Wedding Pledge: “to be Allies pursuing happiness, equality and shared dreams.”
The couples’ families hail from Detroit’s Old Redford neighborhood; Douglas is Irish and French-Canadian, Timothy is German and English. DNA testing confirmed to the couple that each shares substantial ancestry from Ostrobothnia, Finland.
Douglas began his advocacy as a gay cultural and political activist in 1971 by coming out in the disco dance scene of Detroit’s Gay Palmer Park neighborhood. In Washington, D.C. after 1974, he was an interior designer at Georgetown’s Little Caledonia boutique. Douglas became the co-owner of Hermes Antiques with Helen Coutts, a retired English Literature teacher from Redford H.S. On S St. at Connecticut Ave., D.C.’s first Pride celebrations were held in front of their shop, alongside Lambda Rising bookstore. Following victimization in an anti-gay hate attack, Douglas became the public awareness coordinator of the Gay Activists Alliance, and was the principal organizer of its Anita Bryant demonstration at Dupont Circle.
Returning to Detroit in 1979, Douglas achieved an M.A. in Ancient History & Archival Administration at Wayne State University (WSU), studying under Finley Hooper & Philip Mason; his Master’s Essay re: an American Labor Movement cartoonist, utilizing the Walter Reuther Library’s archives. His WSU 1973 B.A. included American Political/ Diplomatic History, & Interdisciplinary Studies. During 1979-82 he was Information Officer of ASP (Assoc. of Suburban People)— Metro Detroit’s largest gay and lesbian social and political organization.
Douglas relocated toSan Francisco in 1982. He was Curator of Photographs at California Historical Society Libraries in Pacific Heights and Los Angeles. Living in the Mission & Haight, he was active in Castro and South-of-Market gay life, just as the HIV/AIDS epidemic first appeared.
In 1986 Douglas relocated to Philadelphia, as Head Archivist of the University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archaeology/Anthropology; authoring an illustrated book on Maison Bonfils, 19th-century French photographers of the Near East. Douglas was Founding Archivist of Penguin Place, now Philadelphia’s William Way LGBT+ Community Center. He became a Charter Member, Academy of Certified Archivists; and Founding Member, Lesbian/ Gay Archives Roundtable, Soc. of American Archivists (Chicago).
Returning to WSU’s Reuther Library (1998), Douglas was Coordinator of Audiovisual Collections, & History of Photography Instructor. Following 9/11 Attacks (2001), he relocated to New Orleans as Head Curator of Louisiana State Museums. Later owning the Gay-welcoming Creole Inn B&B in the Marigny (nr the French Quarter), with his finger on the pulse of Nawlins’ Gaylife—until Hurricane Katrina (2005). GLBT+ neighborhoods weren’t inundated—becoming lively islands amidst destruction. Douglas returned to Detroit in 2008 as caregiver for his mother, Jeanette Kalahar (Haller) Marchand, formerly a radio singer in 1940s Detroit. He met Timothy in 2014.
Timothy achieved a 1991 MBA in Finance & 1985 BS in Management Information Systems from the Univ. of Michigan-Ann Arbor. During 30 years, he held Information Technology & Automotive Business positions in Metro Detroit & LA, including Partner at Deloitte & Touche, Ford Motor & IBM. As a Consultant, his work involved extensive travel in North America, Europe & Asia. He has two married daughters from a previous marriage, a Pediatric Cardiology Nurse Practitioner & a Recruiting Executive for Automotive Technology clients, both living in Metro Detroit. As their final project before retirement, Timothy & Douglas worked as Archivist & Technology Consultant for Detroit educators Harriet (Choreographer) & Irving (Sculptor) Berg. Harriet acted as a godmother during their early relationship & they assisted in caregiving during her final years.
Timothy and Douglas spend their retirement in a 1905 apartment near the Detroit Institute of Arts’ exhibits, films and concerts, enjoying ethnic restaurants, and traveling. In 2025 they went by train to experience the “First Homosexuals 1869-1939” exhibition in Chicago. The curator of the exhibition, Jonathan Katz, 1976 book “Gay American History”, inspired Douglas to become a gay archivist.
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