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Milestones in LGBT parenting history

From TV’s first gay dad in 1972 to ‘Kids Are All Right’ success

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October is LGBT History Month, so I want to celebrate with a look at some of the historical milestones—of laws, visibility and community—related to LGBT parents. This is not meant to be a comprehensive look at the 40-year history of out LGBT parents, but simply a brief list of a few LGBT parenting “firsts.” These items may show only part of the story, but I hope they will give readers a sense of the rich history of which we are part.

1972: “That Certain Summer,” the first television movie to depict a gay dad, airs on ABC, starring Martin Sheen as a dad who comes out to his teenage son, and Hal Holbrook as his partner. Scott Jacoby, who played the son, won a Best Supporting Actor Emmy.

1973: “Sandy and Madeleine’s Family” becomes the first U.S. documentary about a lesbian-headed family.

1973: A Colorado court issues the country’s first known opinion involving a transgender parent, upholding his right to retain child custody.

1974: A New Jersey superior court judge rules that a father’s sexual orientation is not in itself a reason to deny him child visitation, the first time a U.S. court has acknowledged the constitutional rights of gay fathers.

1974: Several lesbian mothers and friends in Seattle form the Lesbian Mothers National Defense Fund to help lesbian mothers in custody disputes.

1976: Washington, D.C. becomes first jurisdiction in the country to prohibit judges from making custody decisions based solely on sexual orientation.

1977: Lawyers Donna Hitchens and Roberta Achtenberg in San Francisco form the Lesbian Rights Project (LRP), which evolves into the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), still helping LGBT parents (and others) today.

1978: The Washington Supreme Court issues the country’s first custody ruling in favor of a lesbian couple (Sandy Schuster and Madeleine Isaacson of the 1973 film above).

1978: New York becomes the first state to say it will not reject adoption applicants solely because of “homosexuality.”

1979: A gay couple in California becomes the first in the country known to have jointly adopted a child.

1979: Jane Severance’s When Megan Went Away becomes the first picture book in the U.S. to show a lesbian relationship.

1982: The Sperm Bank of California begins operations, the first in the country to serve lesbian couples and single women.

1985: A court for the first time allows a non-biological mother to adopt the biological child of her female partner. The ruling, in Alaska, also allows the biological father to maintain a relationship with the child.

1988: A group of youth with LGBT parents meets at a conference organized by a precursor to the Family Equality Council, and begins the organizing that in 1999 leads to Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE) as an independent national organization.

1989: Author Lesléa Newman self-publishes “Heather Has Two Mommies,” the first children’s book in the U.S. to show a lesbian couple planning and raising a child together.

1990: LGBT publisher Alyson Publications launches the Alyson Wonderland imprint for children’s titles. It publishes “Daddy’s Roommate,” by Michael Willhoite, the first children’s book to depict gay male parents, and mass produces “Heather Has Two Mommies.”

1997: New Jersey becomes the first state to allow same-sex couples to adopt jointly.

2008: Marcus Ewert publishes “10,000 Dresses,” the first children’s book to show a clearly transgender child.

2009: First explicit mention of same-sex parents in a presidential proclamation. In announcing Sept. 28 as Family Day, President Obama says, “Whether children are raised by two parents, a single parent, grandparents, a same-sex couple, or a guardian, families encourage us to do our best and enable us to accomplish great things.”

2010: “The Kids Are All Right,” starring Annette Bening and Julianne Moore, becomes the first major feature film to focus on an LGBT couple and their children.

2010: President Obama revises hospital visitation rules so patients may designate their own visitors, including same-sex partners.

2011: The U.S. State Department updates passport applications to say “Mother or Parent 1″ and “Father or Parent 2” instead of just “Mother” and “Father.”

(I have compiled these items from a number of sources; special recognition goes to Carlos Ball’s The Right to Be Parents and Jaime Campbell Naidoo’s Rainbow Family Collections.)

Dana Rudolph is the founder and publisher of Mombian (mombian.com), an award-winning blog and resource directory for LGBT parents.

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Autos

Going for gold: Ford Bronco Sport vs. Toyota RAV4

SUV world has share of bright lights, bold entrances, cut-throat competitors

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Ford Bronco Sport

Let the games begin! Just like the Winter Olympics this month, the SUV world has its share of bright lights, bold entrances, and cut-throat competitors. 

Enter the Ford Bronco Sport and Toyota RAV4, both ready to claim the podium but each with a different routine. Think hiking boots versus minimalist trainers. Dirt trails versus perfectly paved roadways. 

FORD BRONCO SPORT

$34,000

MPG: 25 city/30 highway

0 to 60 mph: 8.2 seconds

Cargo space: 32.5 cu. ft.

PROS: Boxy chic. Off-road ready. Easy-clean interior.

CONS: Meh gas mileage. Firm ride. Outside noise.    

The Bronco Sport doesn’t try to blend in — and that’s the point. With an upright stance, squared lines and retro-rugged styling, this compact SUV looks ready for a backcountry photoshoot before you’ve even left the driveway. 

Power comes from a three-cylinder turbo engine that handles daily driving with ease. Opt for the four-cylinder turbo, and the personality shifts from relaxed to assertive. Passing power improves. Highway merges are confident rather than cautious.

The standard 4×4 system sets the tone immediately. Traction is constant. Confidence is built in. Add the G.O.A.T. drive trains (in Ford cute-speak, this means “Goes Over Any Terrain”), and the Bronco Sport adapts to mud, sand, snow and rocks like a decathlete moving between events. Higher trims add skid plates, upgraded suspension and special hardware that makes rough territory feel less intimidating.

On pavement, the Bronco Sport is stable and composed, though the firm suspension can be ass-busting over deep potholes and such. And wind noise at highway speeds is kinda annoying, a tradeoff for the boxy profile.

Inside, durability meets thoughtful design. Rubberized surfaces and easy-clean materials welcome muddy boots, sandy paws or ambitious weekend projects. The cargo area features a flip-up rear window and adjustable floor, making it a breeze to load gear. Storage cubbies and nylon straps keep equipment organized without fuss.

Safety and other tech amenities are modern and practical. Wireless smartphone integration, cameras and driver-assistance gizmos such as adaptive cruise control make daily driving and long trips easier to manage.

What truly sets this SUV apart? In a sea of aerodynamic lemmings, the Bronco Sport feels like a free spirit. Rugged. Confident. A little rebellious. 

And, like alpine skier Breezy Johnson, it looks particularly good with a bit of trail dust.

TOYOTA RAV4

$34,000

MPG: 47 city/40 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.1 seconds

Cargo space: 37.8 cu. ft.

PROS: Fuel savvy. Spacious. Tech-laden features.

CONS: Less-sporty ride. Blasé base trim. Pricey options.  

If the Bronco Sport is the adventurous wanderer, the Toyota RAV4 is the precision athlete who arrives early, stretches properly and performs effortlessly. Cue figure skaters Amber Glenn or Paul Poirier and you get the picture. 

Fully redesigned for 2026, this compact SUV retains a formula that has made it one of the best-selling vehicles in America, blending efficiency, versatility and lots of tech features.

Toyota nixed the traditional gas engine for the RAV4, but that’s just fine. All models are now either standard hybrids, with fuel economy in the mid-40 mpg range, or plug-in hybrids, which can go up to 50 miles on battery power alone. The result: Vehicles that can handle daily commutes in near silence while retaining long-distance flexibility that would make an Olympic coach proud.

Acceleration is smooth and responsive, particularly in the plug-in hybrid, which is surprisingly quick. The transition between electric and gas power is seamless, though heavy throttle inputs mean the engine sometimes sounds strained. Handling is more predictable than sporty, so this was a minor deduction on the RAV4’s scorecard … at least from me.

But overall comfort is outstanding. The suspension absorbs potholes and uneven pavement with ease, and cabin noise remains impressively low at highway speeds. Long road trips feel relaxed rather than fatiguing — less triathlon grind, more victory lap.

Toyota’s Safety Sense offers adaptive cruise control, lane-keeping assist, enhanced collision avoidance and other systems that operate smoothly without seeming intrusive.

Inside, the revamped cabin is user-friendly. Materials are more refined than before, especially in mid- and upper-level trims. A large, high-resolution touchscreen supports the latest apps, voice commands and over-the-air updates. Such a layout is intuitive instead of flashy — stylish athleisure rather than couture.

Passenger space is generous, and cargo capacity remains among the most practical in this segment. The wide opening is especially helpful when tossing in luggage, sports equipment or an overly optimistic warehouse haul.

For drivers like me who are quick to judge efficiency, reliability and daily usability, the RAV4 delivered a gold-medal performance. 

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Real Estate

Home is where the heart is

Tying Valentine’s Day to LGBTQ buyers and sellers

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(Photo by sundaemorning/Bigstock)

Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as a celebration of romantic love — flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. But for many LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, Valentine’s Day can also be a moment to reflect on something deeper: the love that creates a safe, welcoming home.

For LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers, homeownership is more than a financial milestone—it is an act of belonging, resilience, and pride. Owning a home can mean finally having a place where you can hold hands with your partner on the front porch, decorate with your authentic style, and build a life free from judgment. In this way, buying or selling a home is one of the most meaningful love stories many LGBTQ+ people will ever write.

This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple upgrading your space, or an LGBTQ+ seller moving on to your next chapter, it’s worth thinking about how love, identity, and real estate intersect—and how to navigate that journey with confidence, protection, and the right support.

Love, Identity, and the Meaning of ‘Home’

For generations, LGBTQ+ people were denied equal access to housing, homeownership, and legal protections. Even today, many LGBTQ+ home buyers still face subtle bias, uncomfortable interactions, or outright discrimination in the real estate process.

That’s why finding LGBTQ+ friendly real estate and an affirming gay friendly realtor or lesbian realtor matters so much. A home isn’t just a building—it’s a personal sanctuary. Working with LGBTQ+ real estate agents who understand your lived experience can make all the difference between a stressful transaction and a joyful one.

For over 30 years, GayRealEstate.com has been the leading gay real estate network, connecting LGBTQ+ home buyers and sellers with gay real estate agents, lesbian real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly realtors who truly “get it.” Their mission has always been simple yet powerful: to ensure that every LGBTQ+ person has access to safe, respectful, and inclusive real estate services.

Finding Your Match: Choosing the Right LGBTQ+ Friendly Realtor

Much like dating, finding the right real estate agent is about compatibility, trust, and communication. Here are some key tips for choosing the best LGBTQ+ real estate representation:

  • Look for experience with LGBTQ+ clients. Search for a gay realtor near me or lesbian realtor near me through GayRealEstate.com, where agents are vetted for cultural competency and community commitment.
  • Ask about their experience with same-sex couple home buying. A strong agent should understand issues like joint ownership, legal protections, and financing considerations.
  • Choose someone who listens. You should feel safe sharing your priorities—whether that includes proximity to LGBTQ+ nightlife, affirming schools, or lesbian-friendly neighborhoods.
  • Prioritize respect and transparency. Your agent should advocate for you, not just push a quick sale.

The right gay friendly real estate agent isn’t just helping you buy a house—they’re helping you find a place to build your life.

Best Cities for LGBTQ+ Home Buyers

If love is your compass, location is your map. Some of the best cities for LGBTQ+ home buyers consistently offer strong community presence, legal protections, and welcoming neighborhoods:

  • Wilton Manors, Florida – A hub for LGBTQ+ culture with thriving LGBTQ+ real estate opportunities
  • Palm Springs, California – A long-standing LGBTQ+ retirement and second-home destination
  • Provincetown, Massachusetts – Historic LGBTQ+ community with progressive housing protections
  • Asheville, North Carolina – Growing market with inclusive real estate services
  • Fort Lauderdale, Florida – Diverse, welcoming, and highly sought-after for LGBTQ+ home ownership

Working with GayRealEstate.com allows you to connect with local LGBTQ+ real estate experts who know these markets inside and out.

Navigating Legal Protections in LGBTQ+ Real Estate

Love is universal—but legal protections are not always consistent. Understanding your rights is essential when buying or selling a home as an LGBTQ+ person.

Key protections include:

  • Fair Housing Act (FHA): Prohibits discrimination based on sex, which courts have increasingly interpreted to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
  • State and local protections: Many cities and states offer additional safeguards against LGBTQ+ housing discrimination.
  • Same-sex couple legal considerations: If you are married, joint ownership is typically straightforward. If not, consult an attorney about co-ownership agreements.

A knowledgeable LGBTQ+ friendly realtor from GayRealEstate.com can help guide you through these complexities and connect you with trusted legal professionals when needed.

Buying a Home as an LGBTQ+ Person: Practical Tips

If you’re embarking on your home-buying journey this Valentine’s season, here are smart, practical steps to take:

  1. Clarify your priorities. Do you want a vibrant LGBTQ+ neighborhood, quiet suburbs, or access to queer community spaces?
  2. Get pre-approved for a mortgage. This strengthens your position in competitive markets.
  3. Work with an LGBTQ+ real estate agent. Searching “finding a gay real estate agent” or “finding a lesbian real estate agent” through GayRealEstate.com is a great first step.
  4. Research inclusive communities. Some neighborhoods are more welcoming than others.
  5. Know your rights. If you experience bias, document it and seek legal guidance.

Buying a home is an act of self-love—and community love.

Selling a Home as an LGBTQ+ Person

Selling can be just as emotional as buying, especially if your home represents years of memories with your partner, friends, or chosen family.

When selling a home as an LGBTQ+ person, consider:

  • Working with a gay friendly realtor who will market your home inclusively
  • Highlighting LGBTQ+ community appeal in listings
  • Being prepared for potential buyer bias (and knowing how to respond)
  • Leaning on GayRealEstate.com’s LGBTQ+ real estate services for trusted guidance

Your story—and your home—deserve respect.

Real Estate for LGBTQ+ Families

More LGBTQ+ couples are raising children, fostering, or building blended families. This makes homeownership even more meaningful.

When searching for real estate for LGBTQ+ families, consider:

  • LGBTQ+ affirming school districts
  • Family-friendly queer communities
  • Safe neighborhoods with inclusive values
  • Access to LGBTQ+ resources and social networks

GayRealEstate.com specializes in helping LGBTQ+ families find homes that truly fit their lives.

Love, Pride, and Homeownership

At its core, Valentine’s Day is about connection. For LGBTQ+ people, homeownership can be one of the most profound expressions of love—love for yourself, your partner, your family, and your future.

Whether you are a first-time gay home buyer, a same-sex couple relocating, or an LGBTQ+ seller moving forward, you deserve an experience rooted in dignity, fairness, and celebration.

For over three decades, GayRealEstate.com has stood as the leading source for LGBTQ+ real estate, gay real estate, lesbian real estate, and LGBTQ+ home buying and selling representation. Their nationwide network of gay real estate agents, lesbian-friendly real estate agents, and LGBTQ+ friendly realtors ensures that your real estate journey is guided by professionals who understand your heart—and your home.

This Valentine’s Day, let your next chapter be written in a place where you can truly belong. Because when love leads the way, home is never far behind.


Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.

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Advice

I keep getting rejected on the apps

Ready to give up on the gay dating scene

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Getting rejected on the apps? Try some old school, offline experiences to shake things up. (Photo by BAZA Production/Bigstock)

Dear Michael,

I keep getting rejected on the apps. I don’t want to put myself out there anymore.

I don’t understand gay men. I think they behave really badly.

Guys stop replying in the middle of a text conversation and then un-match me. Guys don’t show up when we make a plan to meet. After a date or even a hookup that it seems clear we both enjoyed, I never hear from the guy again.

I am a pretty good looking and successful guy. I’m not a model or a billionaire but I’m sincerely wanting to date and eventually share a life with someone.

Unfortunately, everyone I am meeting, even if they say they have similar aspirations for a partner, acts like they’re looking over my shoulder for something better, and drops me for I-don’t-know-what reason.

I don’t have a lot of trust in the sincerity of gay men.

I know I sound bitter but I’ve been at this for a while and it keeps happening.

I know there’s a saying that if it keeps happening to you, you must be the problem. Logically that makes sense.

Except, I think this keeps happening so often and so predictably that it’s not me. These people hardly know me. It’s more along the lines of, if everything about me isn’t exactly what they want, or some little thing that I say, think, or do offends them, they vanish.

I’m lonely, but what’s out there is awful. Maybe it’s best to not keep trying. 

If you have a different way of seeing it that’s honest, not just some fluff to make me feel better and be hopeful, please enlighten me.

Michael replies:

I agree with you, there is a lot of this kind of behavior out there. I hear stories similar to yours all the time. Though people do find great relationships online, relying on apps to meet a partner can be tricky.

Hookup apps have little to do with any kind of real connection. Often, they don’t even have much to do with sex. For a lot of people, they’re more about trying to fill up some kind of emptiness and seeking validation. They also, obviously, objectify men, which is the opposite experience of what you’re seeking.

And dating apps lend themselves to a sort of takeout menu concept of dating. You get to specify exactly what you’re looking for—a little of this, a lot of that, please omit something else—and then believe you should get what you ordered. As if that really exists. And when something isn’t just what you wanted, forget it. 

But life doesn’t work that way. Nor do people: You can enter the exact criteria for the man of your dreams, but he will surprise you or let you down at times in some major ways. That’s how it goes. Part of being in a relationship is accepting that we all have to deal with imperfection.

All that said, hordes of people are going to keep using all sorts of apps and keep looking for “perfect” partners and keep ditching perfectly fine guys for the most minuscule of reasons. 

But that doesn’t mean that you have to stay on the apps if it’s demoralizing you and leaving you hopeless.

Before you sign off, perhaps you would like to have some fun and be creative. Just for example, you could write in your profile that you’re interested in meeting a guy who isn’t looking for perfection and is looking for a decent soul rather than a set of stats. You still might encounter a lot of guys who ghost you for no apparent reason, but you also might have some luck finding a sincere someone with relationship goals that are similar to yours.

Another, complimentary strategy: Toughen up your attitude to stop letting let these rejections get under your skin. They have little to do with who you are (unless you are oblivious to some major issue about yourself), so you needn’t take them personally. In other words, expect this to keep happening; and when it does, laugh and keep moving forward.  

I understand you are feeling like giving up on gay men in general. Keep in mind that while there are a lot of reasons why many gay men focus more on sex and less on commitment, that isn’t true across the board. In my work over the years, I have met many gay men who are looking for what you’re seeking. You could strive to be hopeful that if you keep looking, you are likely to cross paths with some of them. 

And where you look may play a role.

Whether or not you stay on the apps, I suggest you seek additional ways to meet a potential boyfriend. Before apps existed, people did find other ways to meet romantic partners, and these ways do still exist. I know that this path is not an easy one. The whole dating endeavor isn’t easy. But difficult is not impossible.  

There are social and activity groups for gay men that are organized around some sort of shared interest. They aren’t overtly sexual, so often attract people who are interested in and looking for a deeper connection. Even if you don’t meet a boyfriend there, you might make some like-minded friends, and one thing may lead to another in all sorts of ways. 

There’s also plenty you can do as a human being (not simply as a gay man) in the offline world that might interest and even uplift you, where you just might meet a man you like. Again, you might also simply make some friends, and through having a bigger social life, might ultimately meet your guy.

Simply put: Don’t let yourself feel like or be a victim. Don’t keep putting yourself in miserable situations. And figure out what it means for you to do your best to make what you’d like to happen, happen. 

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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