Living
Cupid ain’t stupid
Valentine’s Day gifts with a gay twist
By MIKEY ROX
Christmas just ended, but the next gift-giving holiday is already upon us. The best thing about Valentine’s Day, however, is that it really is the thought that counts. (People lie about that at Christmastime, ya know.)
To help you pick the perfect gift for your sweetie this Valentine’s Day, here’s our list of fun and frisky ideas that they’ll love to unwrap.
Bear My Secrets Teddy Bear

Bear My Secrets Teddy Bear
Don’t let this cuddly couture teddy bear fool you. Inside its plush tummy are all the ingredients you’ll need for a night of passion, including candles, satin rose petals, edible love dust, a body massager, warming love oil, lube and a feather all nestled neatly within a small satin bag. To get to the contents, your main squeeze will have to use an included key on the heart-shaped lock. Bear My Secrets bears are available in girl and boy versions, identified by a purple headband or bowtie, respectively. ($96.69; bearmysecrets.com)
Image3D Viewers
Give your significant other a blast from the past this Valentine’s Day with a View-Master-style viewer and reel from Image3D. Pick and choose from your favorite photos to create a custom reel that will preserve seven of your most memorable images in just a few clicks. After you’ve selected the winning pics, you can edit them online and add 3-D captions that will appear on the final thumbnails. An option also is available to have viewers imprinted with text to commemorate the special occasion and year. Viewer colors include classic red, black, blue and white. ($24.95; image3D.com)
School of Wash Custom Fragrance
What’s that smell? Whatever you want it to be when you replace your partner’s store-bought fragrance with a custom concoction of pleasant aromas from School of Wash. The combinations are endless with fresh scents like Christmas tree, cucumber, lavender vanilla and mojito, which are paired with essential oils that include anise, lemongrass and rosemary, among many other options. Sow and Sow Man Pick-A-Scent handmade perfumes and colognes are available for men and women, and come in 1 ounce, 2.5 ounce, 4 ounce, and 8 ounce personalized aluminum spritzers. ($9-$16.50; schoolofwash.com)
Homoquotables Greeting Cards

Homoquotables Greeting Cards
Skip the Hallmarks this year and say “I Love You” with Homoquotables, artistic greeting cards for gay couples in love. Memorable and historic quotes about love — from visionaries that run the gamut from Helen Keller to Trey Parker and Matt Stone — are paired with elegant and romantic original black-and-white images of same-sex couples just like you. Homoquotables is the brainchild of Colorado-based designer Dan McLellan, who shares his life with his husband Michael and their two kids. ($3; homoquotables.com)
JUARA Skincare Romancing the Candlenut Kit
Rub-a-dub-dub, hop in the tub! You and your lover can enjoy the ultimate in luxurious and relaxing one-on-one time with JUARA Skincare’s Romancing the Candlenut Kit, a skin-softening four-piece ritual that takes a sexy soak from ordinary to extraordinary. Inspired by the beauty secrets of Bali and infused with velvety candlenut oil, this elegant kit includes candlenut soap, body polish, body crème and perfume oil that will whisk you away to your own private paradise. ($30; juaraskincare.com)
Mastrad Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set

Mastrad Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set
Melt your partner’s heart and a heaping helping of ooey-gooey chocolate with the Ceramic Chocolate Fondue Set from Mastrad Orka. The set comes with everything you’ll need to feed each other sweet treats, including a fondue pot, warming stand, four fondue forks (just in case you want to share with friends) and a candle. Don’t be afraid to get creative, either — this chocolate fondue set works just as well in the dining room as it does in the boom-boom room. ($17.99; shopmastrad.com)
Proposition Love Jewelry
If you’re thinking about popping the question this Valentine’s Day, consider a set of “enGAYgement” rings from Proposition Love Fine Jewelry, which features a line of eclectic bands inspired by gay rights and marriage equality. All the rings in the Prop Love collection are made of high-quality materials, including 14K white and yellow gold, platinum and diamonds. A portion of the proceeds from each ring is donated to pro-equality organizations. Engraving options also are available. Jewelry designer Sam Street, who married his partner Jonathan in San Francisco in 2008, founded Proposition Love in 2011. ($275-$3,210; propositionlove.com)
FreeBeneath Robes

FreeBeneath Robes
Encourage your lovebug to slip into something more comfortable for your romantic nights at home with The Original FreeBeneath, a stylish new take on the classic bathrobe. Instead of a cloth belt to close the robe like on conventional versions, The Original FreeBeneath is a pullover robe that allows wearers to let it all hang loose while staying confident that they’re completely covered up. FreeBeneath robes comes in a variety of fabrics and colors and in the two years since the family-owned company’s launch they’ve gained a robust celeb following and interest from some of the world’s top spas and resorts. ($79-$129; freebeneath.com)
Lovoka Liqueur
Put a cork in the wine this year and reach for something with a bit more punch. Lovoka, the first 60-proof liqueur to debut in the United States, is made from the finest triple-distilled vodka and delicately infused with a rich, buttery caramel essence. Liquid gold, you might even say. Lovoka is divine on the rocks, mixed with after-dinner coffee, or poured all over your partner. Bottoms up. ($27.99; lovokausa.com)
Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers

Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers
Skip the requisite skimpy skivvies and opt for more flattering, freeing underwear to gift this Valentine’s Day. Pengallan Slim-Fit Boxers feature a flat-front waist, contoured seat design to counteract the “riding up” effect, side vents on the outseam of each leg for greater mobility and range of motion, and a button closure in the front — truly as close as you’ll get to a bespoke boxer without a tailor. There are 10 dapper styles from which to choose, including solids, stripes, plaids and gingham. If you’ve got a guy who likes to look great even in the items that most people won’t see, Pengallan are the perfect present — that you can both enjoy. ($80; pengallan.com)
Adult Loaded Questions
Turn your couples’ V-Day celebration into a night of unexpected admissions with Adult Loaded Questions, the irreverent and off-the-wall board game that features 300 suggestively silly questions. Your party guests will get a kick out of queries like: “What is a sure sign you are dating a psycho?,” “If you were an adult film star, what would be your screen name?” and “What television show would you watch if it included full nudity?” By the time the game is over, you’ll all be a little bit closer, for better or worse. ($24.99; familyandpartygames.com)
Out Colors Jewelry

Out Colors Jewelry
Not ready to put a ring on it? Take your time, and in the meantime consider another piece of sentimental jewelry from Out Colors. This gay-owned online jeweler features an array of pendants, bracelets, necklaces and watches that can be personalized with your favorite photos. For those who aren’t partial to jewelry, Out Colors also offers a wide selection of other keepsakes, including apparel, crystal accessories and home-art items like woven tapestries, canvases, matte-finish posters and wall murals. ($9.95-$2,771.95; outcolors.com)
Love By Robot T-Shirts
Make that hot nerd in your life swoon over the geek-chic Love By Robot T-shirt that features an adorable android who proudly wears his heart on his cold, steely chest. Ts are available for men and women and come in grey or glow-in-the-dark black. ($25; lovebyrobot.com)
Love Is Art

Love Is Art
Take a pass on the limited-edition prints this year and pursue a more personalized route with a Love is Art kit. Each kit is equipped with all the materials you’ll need to make an abstract expressionistic masterpiece with your partner in the most intimate way possible using your bodies. When the piece is complete, it can be stretched, framed, and hung on the wall as a reminder of your love and commitment to one another for years to come. Kits are available in myriad themes (like wedding or equality) and colors to match your décor. ($60-$110; loveisartkit.com)
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and blogger who lives in New York City with his husband and their two dogs. Follow him on Twitter @mikeyrox.
Real Estate
Under-the-radar Delaware beach towns smart buyers are targeting
There are other options if Rehoboth prices are scaring you off
Look, we love Rehoboth. We will always love Rehoboth. Queer folks have been flocking there since the 1940s, and with scores of LGBTQ-owned businesses and a Pride calendar packed tighter than the boardwalk in July, “Rehomo” earned its crown fair and square.
But let’s be honest with each other: trying to buy property there right now feels a lot like trying to get a reservation at the one good restaurant in town on a Saturday in August. Everyone wants in, inventory is tighter than your swim trunks after Labor Day brunch, and the prices have officially entered “are you kidding me” territory.
So here’s a thought: What if you didn’t fight the crowd? What if, instead, you let Rehoboth keep doing its glorious, chaotic, glitter-bomb thing and you quietly built your beach life 15 minutes away for considerably less drama and considerably more square footage? Here are four towns ready for their close-up.
Lewes: The Charming Overachiever
Lewes is what happens when a beach town actually has its life together. Historic charm, walkability, proximity to Cape Henlopen State Park, less crowding, and a strong year-round community. Unlike towns that turn into ghost towns after Labor Day, Lewes maintains a real community all year long, which is more than we can say for some situationships.
And right now, the market is practically begging you to make a move. It’s one of the most desirable and stable markets in the county — built for buyers thinking long-term, not flippers, and Sussex County overall has flipped into genuine buyer’s market territory for the first time in years. Translation: you finally get to be the one with leverage.
Bethany Beach: My Personal Pick
Full disclosure: I own in Bethany. So consider this section a little biased — and also the most honest thing I’ll tell you in this whole article.
When I drive down from D.C., I’m not looking for more of D.C. I love this city, but I also love leaving it — and yes, some of the people in it too (you know who you are, and so do I). Bethany gives me that full exhale. It’s quiet in the way that actually means something: fewer crowds, slower mornings, a soundtrack that’s mostly waves instead of nightlife. It leans hard into its “quiet resort” reputation, with low property taxes and a limited geographic footprint, and it is not the least bit sorry about it.
But quiet doesn’t mean isolated. I’ve got a genuinely excellent food scene nearby, real shopping, and a string of charming neighboring beach towns — and when I do want a taste of Rehoboth’s energy, it’s a short, easy drive away. I get to choose my dose of chaos instead of living inside it.
And here’s the part that matters most for this article: the price. If you’ve looked at Rehoboth listings and quietly closed the tab in despair, I need you to hear this — you can absolutely afford a beach house. It just doesn’t have to be in Rehoboth. Bethany’s average home value sits around $848,592, which is still real money, no question — but it buys you more house, more land, and more peace than the same budget gets you closer to the boardwalk. Bethany is welcoming too, just without Rehoboth’s decades of built-in queer institutional history — and for plenty of us, that trade-off is more than worth it.
Fenwick Island: Small Town, Big Flex
Fenwick rarely gets mentioned and, frankly, it should be insulted. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, and it has beach access without the carnival energy. The market data tends to lump it in with Bethany, where single-family oceanfront homes clear $1 million while entry-level condos start in the $600s — proof that “under-the-radar” doesn’t mean “bargain bin,” it means “fewer people fighting you for it.”
South Bethany: For the Boat Gays
Some of us want sand between our toes. Others want a private dock and a boat named something deeply unserious. South Bethany’s canal communities are built for the latter — water access on both sides, fewer crowds, and a lifestyle that says, “I have a captain’s hat and I am not afraid to wear it.”
The Math Works in Your Favor Now
Here’s the part that should really get your attention: Sussex County’s median sold price has dropped to $440,000, down 3.3% year-over-year, and buyers are routinely closing around 88 cents on the dollar compared to asking price. That’s a far cry from the unhinged bidding wars of 2021 and 2022, when overpaying was basically a competitive sport. Inventory across the county sits at nearly 2,500 active listings — the most of any county in Delaware, meaning you actually get to be picky for once. Revolutionary, we know.
And no, choosing one of these towns doesn’t mean leaving your people behind. Sussex Pride serves the entire county, not just Rehoboth proper, and CAMP Rehoboth’s resources extend well beyond town limits too. You’re not exiling yourself to the suburbs of queerness — you’re just getting a bigger kitchen, a quieter porch, and a much shorter line for the bathroom.
Add in the fact that Delaware has no estate tax and some of the lowest property taxes around, savings that genuinely add up over a retirement horizon, and the case writes itself. Rehoboth will always be the beating, sequined heart of queer beach culture in Delaware. But if you’ve been telling yourself a beach house isn’t in the cards — I’m here to tell you it absolutely is. It just might be 15 minutes south, with your own quiet porch, your own salt air, and considerably more room to breathe.
Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.
Justin Noble is a Realtor licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware with Monument Sotheby’s International Realty. Reach him at [email protected] or 302-897-7499.
Real Estate
‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’
Real estate agents must adapt, learn how to manage from within
“Culture Eats Strategy for Breakfast” was a phrase often repeated in many of my management courses from the University of Illinois. The concept was discussed at length – how the best laid plans can sometimes be supported or derailed by the culture of the people involved in whichever project to be implemented. Whether it be a project to implement new software, roll out a new product or service, or just reaching a sales target, the way the team involved works together can indeed affect the outcome.
Perhaps this is just another way to say, “teamwork makes the dream work!” Most teams usually have someone who is designated as a leader. The leader can try to lead through authority and control or can alternatively try to lead through influence and encouraging a more collective framework for solving problems.
Why does this matter when picking the right real estate agent or team to work with? Besides having a job as a salesperson for the brokerage, the real estate agent is contractually bound to act on their client’s behalf. The buyer broker agreement is in place so that the agent and the client can work together as a team in communications regarding offer strategy, during negotiations, implementing marketing plans, as well as selecting which renovations or upgrades to choose before selling a property. After the property goes under contract, the job isn’t “done”. There is still work to do.
At this point, the agents then turn into a project manager of sorts – coordinating communications between the lending team, the title attorneys, the other client’s agents, any governmental agencies that could be involved in down payment assistance or helping to clear a property for a sale, and often times groups like a condo board, a home inspector, or contractors when arranging repairs and estimates before a final walk through.
In short, the agent takes on somewhat of a “leadership role” in the transaction and ensures that all the ducks stay in a row until the project is complete. That agent will hopefully be very fluid and forthcoming with their information, copying the required parties on all communications and creating a “paper trail” of who said what or didn’t offer to fix A, B, or C, so that all the minutiae of the contract can be addressed and fulfilled before the settlement date. The agent often must wear many hats and quickly learn the communication styles of an entire new set of people in a short period. One person may not return calls for a week after being contacted. Another person may go on vacation at the beginning of the process and not return emails for two weeks. Another person may wish to have daily updates of the progress of the process.
In this way – an agent quickly learns in each transaction that “culture can eat strategy for breakfast.” Because the agent must adapt to a wide variety of communication styles, learn how to “manage from within”, build support for closing the project by the due date, and somehow keep all the interested parties invested, engaged, and responsive.
Who you work with matters when picking the right person to represent you in your next transaction – so, just remember that “teamwork makes the dream work!”
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Dear Michael,
I’ve been dating Mark for three years, living together for two, and I’m not sure he’s for me. We get along great but I’m questioning how attracted I am to him.
I was never crazy about him physically but he was such a sweet and smart guy that I wanted to date him.
Sex was never mind-blowing and the longer we’ve been together the more this is bothering me. I wonder if I could find someone who appeals to me more, physically.
On the plus side, I like him a lot. He has good values, shares my religious faith, which is hard to find in another gay guy, is responsible and has a good work ethic. Also, I just have fun with him and he’s always interested to hear what’s on my mind. He’s an all-around decent guy.
As I’m writing this, I’m thinking that he seems great and that I’m a fool for even questioning our relationship. But all my friends are always talking about the amazing sex they are having, and then I think I’m missing out on a key part of life because my sex life is comparatively lackluster.
I don’t want to settle. But how likely am I to find another guy who is as all-around a good catch as Mark, but with more sexual chemistry?
Michael replies:
I don’t think the right approach is to wonder about your chances for of finding someone better. Anyone you find will have things you aren’t crazy about.
For example, you might find someone whom you’re wildly attracted to sexually, but they’ll bore you or annoy you, or have values you don’t respect.
I understand that you aren’t wildly sexually attracted to Mark. The truth is that it’s extremely unlikely that you would remain wildly sexually attracted to anyone for that long. People tend to get used to each other over time. Sex can remain great, but more from closeness and love than heat and sizzle.
I work with people all the time who wonder if there is someone “better” out there. And I tell them, they’re never going to get through all the possibilities before they die. Instead, how about thinking if the guy you are with is someone you’d like to go with on this journey through life?
Mark’s attributes that you mention sound wonderful to me. After more than 30 years working with folks on relationships, and being in my own 30+ year relationship, I have learned a thing or two about what creates a relationship that is satisfying and good. A decent, kind guy with admirable values is an excellent start.
The question is, can you live with your sex life not being on an orgasmically hot mind-blowing level? I hope the answer is yes, because sex with anyone you pick is not likely to stay in that sort of realm for long.
Another point to consider: I don’t think you should get too caught up in what your friends are telling you. They may be having amazing sex, but are they all having it with the same long-term partner? As I mentioned, long-term sex can be great, but the excitement tends to be replaced by caring connection over time.
I’ll generalize here for a moment: Because so many gay men have many sexual partners, the kind of sex you have with someone new, whom you’re tremendously attracted to, tends to be glorified among gay men as the gold standard of sex. But it’s not realistic for sex with a long-term partner.
This glorification is a big problem: It leaves gay men who are not having torrid sex with lots of guys feeling like there is something wrong with the sex they are having, that they are missing out on something super fantastic. Just like you are feeling.
If you want a lifetime of ongoing hot sex, I don’t think you should be looking for a relationship. If you are willing to accept sex being a not-always fantastic, but perhaps consistently loving, often good, and occasionally great part of life with a kind decent guy, then Mark might just be the right partner for you after all.
(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, New York, and all PSYPACT states. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)
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