Local
Back to school: How campus life got better
Reflections on change as the class of 1974 meets the class of 2014 at UVA

Bob Witeck (left), who graduated from the University of Virginia in 1974, shown here in Charlottesville. Brendan Maupin Wynn, class of 2014, at UVA’s Serpentine Wall on campus. (Photos courtesy of Witeck and Wynn)
Editor’s note: This is the first installment in a series assessing the LGBT climate on university campuses as told by alumni we’re pairing with current students to tell their stories. This week: Bob Witeck and the University of Virginia. Next in the series: Jeff Trammell returns to William and Mary as rector.
In 1973, Bette Midler flounced out of the Continental Baths in Manhattan to record the chart-topping gay anthem, “You Gotta Have Friends,” but for Bob Witeck, it didn’t come with an instruction manual. With nary a hint of gay life on the campus of the University of Virginia, he sought help in the library.
“There were maybe 10 titles, each of them clinical or scary,” Witeck recalled. “None gave me a sense of hope, promise or acceptance in any way.” So, he buried himself in his studies, anti-war activism and marathon bridge tournaments. He could declare and partner in bridge, but seeking one in life was too risky. Jesse Helms and Anita Bryant were hunting and killing gay civil rights wherever they could. Witeck is from an entire generation of “Friends of Dorothy” — and the gay, straight-A student was asexual.
Such was the state of gay life on America’s college campuses for many closeted students 40 years ago.
Today, brimming with hope, promise and acceptance, Brendan Maupin Wynn walks the same UVA campus that Witeck did four decades earlier — only he’s running for office, signing petitions for any number of progressive causes, and when the mood strikes him, he takes a man on a date.
“I only worry whether my date has a winning smile — never how we’ll be treated at an event,” he says. This straight-A student is gay and makes no apologies for it.
When he learned of this project for the Washington Blade and that he was being paired with Bob Witeck, Wynn responded, “Is this the Bob Witeck who’s the Washington PR magician?” The answer is yes, Brendan, and that magician did a disappearing act when he was in your shoes. Contrasting the two Cavs is the goal of this column and that progress is nothing about which to be cavalier.
LGBT rights advances can be attributed to the work of many straight allies and gay heroes — and on the UVA Grounds, to the Serpentine Society, where LGBT alumni provide straight talk beside the legendary curvy serpentine wall invented by Thomas Jefferson. The Serpentine Society was conceived in 1998 and is dedicated to advocating for LGBT alumni, faculty and students.
It’s simultaneously no one’s fault — and everyone’s — that LGBT students had to live in a quiet isolated closet over much of history. Queers have been in quads since the first Corinthian column was erected on a campus. Today they’re out in the sunshine sitting against that same column.
Who to thank for all this progress? Witeck’s gay heroes are pre-Stonewall: Frank Kameny, Barbara Gittings and Lilli Vincenz. His straight heroes are Rep. John Lewis (D- Ga.) and Julian Bond of the NAACP — black leaders who considered us their “gay brothers and sisters” even before President Obama gave an inaugural shout-out to those brave enough to be out. Imagine that from Richard Nixon in ’73. Wynn’s straight hero is Hillary Clinton and he talks about the gay-straight village it took to raise him at UVA. While Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Maddow are high on his list of gay heroes, he need look no further than Peabody Hall on campus to find others.
“I am so lucky to have a ton of gay role models to choose from. Our dean of students, Allen Groves is the coolest guy around. Everyone on Grounds loves him!”
Our long slow march toward this equality is sort of parallel in pop culture to the goofy (and now gay) Gomer Pyle of the ‘60s TV show. The now-out Jim Nabors endured sit-com life in quiet backwards Mayberry RFD. Nabors waited until he was 82 to come out. Wynn? He grew up with Will and Grace. In comparison, his coming out was a piece of cake. Even in rural Tidewater, Va., he was able to come out to his parents and very close friends in 10th grade. He arrived at UVA to find that a freshman’s sexual orientation was indeed part of freshmen orientation.
Witeck waited until he was out of college before pursuing the authentic gay life. That year, Paul Simon topped the charts with “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” and it’s only then that Witeck looked for one.
With courage and composure, Witeck has returned to help make the Grounds at UVA better for Wynn and the generations to follow. Witeck has worked on the Hill and in public relations. He worked for Sen. Bob Packwood and for Hill and Knowlton, the legendary PR shop, and now owns his own firm, Witeck Communications in D.C. He published the landmark book “Business Inside Out,” serves on too many LGBT boards to mention, and returned to UVA in 2001 to accept the prestigious Bernard Mayes Award.
Would he trade all that for four “out” years as a young man?
“I felt very lucky to have the quality of education UVA offers,” Witeck said. “I sometimes imagine the difference being open and honest would have allowed me to break my own self barriers. But no, I have zero regrets. What I really value is having witnessed so much of this change in 40 years and knowing that we all played a part in making it happen.” It occurs to him that childless gay boomers do have kids going to college each year — other people’s gay children who need help and guidance.
Wistful about the past, but stridently optimistic about the future, Witeck reflects, “The Serpentine Society is one of the few groups that serve as a bridge for the gay community to the entire Virginia community — to the faculty, staff and students and allows us to put LGBT and identity issues forward.”
Although UVA isn’t perfect on gay issues, and may lag behind some other major institutions, the vision of the Serpentine Society is helping bring about positive change.
Scientists recently reported that as we age, the most vivid memories we will retain will be those from 12 to 22 years. Cleverly termed “the reminiscence bump” it’s a cruel hoax on older gay folks. Those years could be lonely and isolating and when it comes to true gay identity, it’s a bump that leaves an entire generation with just a lump in their throats. Not so with Wynn.
“I can’t count the number of gay friends I have in my head! Isn’t that awesome?” He still cautions that many of his classmates are closeted and that victory isn’t complete. As Witeck says, “Students today still have their own aspirations, fears, risks and needs.”
Anyone walking the grounds at UVA must know that time has been on the side of LGBT students. Just ask Wynn and his date, sitting over on the Lawn, both with their winning smiles.
Wynn’s ancestor, Socrates Maupin, joined UVA as a student in 1828 and later returned as faculty. The Civil War occurred while he was chairman of the faculty. It was Socrates Maupin who refinanced the university on his credit, reconstituted the faculty and returned the university to the Union — clearly marking progress and forward momentum.
Today, if Socrates — or Witeck — were to return to the grounds, they’d walk past an open door on the ground floor of Newcomb Hall where Scott Rheinheimer leads the LGBT Resource Center. New to his job, he is amazed at the support and resources for the center.
“From Dean Groves to the Serpentine Society to the faculty and the administration, everyone here has welcomed me openly and warmly,” Rheinheimer said.
So, Witeck lived in a desert so today’s students, like Wynn, could enjoy an oasis.
“I think that students inherently face a number of challenges acclimating to the college environment,” said Wynn. “What’s fortunate is that the university has made great strides in being inclusive and accepting. Like Bob, many students feel they must hide their orientation — from their parents, from their classmates and even from their friends. There are still challenges to coming out, but I think that it’s getting easier, and it’s getting better.”
Brent Mundt is collecting alumni stories for a book. Reach him at [email protected].
Local
D.C., Va., Md. to commemorate World AIDS Day
Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle will hold a Mass, candlelight prayer vigil
The D.C. area will observe World AIDS Day on Dec. 1 through a variety of community events.
Established by the World Health Organization in 1988, World AIDS Day aims to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS and honor the individuals affected by the epidemic. The global theme for 2025 is “overcoming disruption, transforming the AIDS response.”
Washington
DC Health will host a World AIDS Day event at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Library from noon to 9 p.m on Dec. 1. Attendees can expect live performances, free food and free HIV testing.
The all-day event will also feature community resources from DC Health, DC Public Library, DC Health Link, Serve DC, and the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs.
The Lily and Earle M. Pilgrim Art Foundation is partnering with Visual AIDS, a New York-based non-profit that uses art to fight AIDS, to reflect on World AIDS Day with a film screening on Dec. 1.
The David Bethuel Jamieson Studio House at Walbridge in Mount Pleasant will premiere “Meet Us Where We’re At,” an hour-long collection of six videos. The free screening highlights the complexity of drug use in intersection with the global HIV epidemic.
The videos, commissioned by artists in Brazil, Germany, Nigeria, Puerto Rico and Vietnam, showcase the firsthand experience of drug users, harm reduction programs, and personal narratives. The program intends to showcase drug users as key individuals in the global response to HIV.
In addition to streaming the videos, the event will include an evening potluck and conversation led by Peter Stebbins from 6-8 p.m.
The Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle will hold a 5:30 p.m. Mass and candlelight prayer vigil at 6 p.m. in honor of World AIDS Day on Dec. 1. The event is open to all and includes a subsequent reception at 6:30 p.m.
The Capital Jewish Museum is hosting a speaker series on Dec. 2 from 6:30-8 p.m. that explores the response to AIDS within the Jewish community. Speakers include LGBTQ psychiatrist Jeffrey Akman, physician assistant Barbara Lewis and Larry Neff, lay service leader at Bet Mishpachah, a synagogue founded by LGBTQ Washingtonians. Heather Alt, deputy director of nursing at Whitman-Walker Health, will moderate the event.
The program is free for museum members. General admission is $10 and Chai tickets, which help subsidize the cost of general admission, are $18. Tickets include access to LGBT Jews in the Federal City, a temporary exhibition that collectively explores Washington, Judaism, and LGBTQ history. The exhibition is on view through Jan. 4, 2026.
Virginia
Alexandria Mayor Alyia Gaskins and local residents will commemorate World AIDS Day on Dec. 1 at the Lee Center.
The event, which is free to attend, will include music, choir performances, educational moments and more. The commemoration will be held from 6:30-8:30 p.m.
Maryland
The Frederick Center will host talks, tabling and a raffle in honor of World AIDS Day. The Frederick County Health Department will conduct free HIV testing.
The event, which is free to attend, will be held on Nov. 30 from 1-4 p.m. The Frederick County Health Department always offers free, walk-in HIV testing on Tuesdays and Fridays from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
The Prince George’s County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority will host a community day of awareness in honor of World AIDS Day on Dec. 6 from 1 a.m. to 2 p.m. The free event will feature free, confidential HIV testing, private talks with medical professionals and health workshops.
The event will be held at Suitland Community Center in Forestville and will include breakfast and snacks.
Damien Ministries is commemorating World AIDS Day on Dec. 1 through the grand opening of the We the People Community & Wellness Collaborative. The event, held at 11:30 a.m. at 4061 Minnesota Avenue, N.E., is free to attend.
Damien Ministries is a faith-based non-profit committed to supporting those with HIV/AIDS.
Begin Anew, a Baltimore non-profit that provides education, outreach and resources to improve public health, wellness and economic stability, is hosting its 4th Annual World AIDS Day Community Celebration on Dec. 1 alongside community partners.
Hosted at the University of Maryland BioPark from noon to 3 p.m., the program will feature keynote speaker Jason E. Farley of the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. The celebration will also dedicate awards to local heroes focused on fighting HIV/AIDS and promoting health equity.
The free event includes lunch, live entertainment and networking opportunities with health advocates and partners.
District of Columbia
Bowser announces she will not seek fourth term as mayor
‘It has been the honor of my life to be your mayor’
D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser, a longtime vocal supporter of the LGBTQ community, announced on Nov. 25 that she will not run for a fourth term.
Since first taking office as mayor in January 2015, Bowser has been an outspoken supporter on a wide range of LGBTQ related issues, including marriage equality and services for LGBTQ youth and seniors.
Local LGBTQ advocates have also praised Bowser for playing a leading role in arranging for widespread city support in the city’s role as host for World Pride 2025 in May and June, when dozens of LGBTQ events took place throughout the city.
She has also been credited with expanding the size and funding for the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs, which was put in place as a Cabinet level office by the D.C. Council in 2006 under the administration of then-Mayor Anthony Williams.
It was initially called the Office of Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Affairs. At Bowser’s request, the D.C. Council in 2016 agreed to change the name as part of the fiscal year 2016 budget bill to the Office of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning Affairs.
As she has in numerous past appearances at LGBTQ events, Bowser last month greeted the thousands of people who attended the annual LGBTQ Halloween 17th Street High Heel Race from a stage by shouting that D.C. is the “gayest city in the world.”
In a statement released after she announced she would not run for a fourth term in office; Bowser reflected on her years as mayor.
“It has been the honor of my life to be your mayor,” she said. “When you placed your trust in me 10 years ago, you gave me an extraordinary opportunity to have a positive impact on my hometown,” her statement continues.
“Together, you and I have built a legacy of success of which I am immensely proud. My term will end on Jan. 2, 2027. But until then, let’s run through the tape and keep winning for D.C,” her statement concludes.
Among the LGBTQ advocates commenting on Bowser’s decision not to run again for mayor was Howard Garrett, president of D.C.’s Capital Stonewall Democrats, one of the city’s largest local LGBTQ political groups.
“I will say from a personal capacity that Mayor Bowser has been very supportive of the LGBTQ community,” Garrett told the Washington Blade. “I think she has done a great job with ensuring that our community has been protected and making sure we have the resources needed to be protected when it comes to housing, public safety and other areas.”
Garrett also praised Bowser’s appointment of LGBTQ advocate Japer Bowles as director of the Office of LGBTQ Affairs,
“Under the leadership of the mayor, Japer has done a fantastic job in ensuring that we have what we need and other organizations have what they need to prosper,” Garrett said.
Cesar Toledo, executive director of the D.C. based Wanda Alston Foundation, which provides housing services for homeless LGBTQ youth, credits Bowser with transforming the Office of LGBTQ Affairs “into the largest and most influential community affairs agency of its kind in the nation, annually investing more than $1 million into life-saving programs.”
Toledo added, “Because of the consistent support of Mayor Bowser and her administration, the Wanda Alston Foundation has strengthened and expanded its housing and counseling programs, ensuring that more at-risk queer and trans youth receive the safety, stability, and life-saving care they deserve.”
Gay Democratic activist Peter Rosenstein is among those who have said they have mixed reactions to Bowser’s decision not to run again.
“I am sorry for the city but happy for her that she will now be able to focus on her family, and her incredible daughter,” Rosenstein said.
“She has worked hard, and done great things for D.C,” Rosenstein added. “Those include being a stalwart supporter of the LGBTQ community, working to rebuild our schools, recreation centers, libraries, gaining the RFK site for the city, and maintaining home rule. She will be a very hard act to follow.”
Local gay activist David Hoffman is among those in the city who have criticized Bowser for not taking a stronger and more vocal position critical of President Donald Trump on a wide range of issues, including Trump’s deployment of National Guard soldiers to patrol D.C. streets. Prior to Bowser’s announcement that she is not running again for mayor, Hoffman said he would not support Bowser’s re-election and would urge the LGBTQ community to support another candidate for mayor.
Bowser supporters have argued that Bowser’s interactions with the Trump-Vance administration, including her caution about denouncing the president, were based on her and other city officials’ desire to protect the interests of D.C. and D.C.’s home rule government. They point out that Trump supporters, including Republican members of Congress, have called on Trump to curtail or even end D.C. home rule.
Most political observers are predicting a highly competitive race among a sizable number of candidates expected to run for mayor in the 2026 D.C. election. Two D.C. Council members have said they were considering a run for mayor before Bowser’s withdrawal.
They include Councilmember Janeese Lewis George (D-Ward 4), who identifies as a democratic socialist, and Councilmember Kenyan McDuffie (I-At-Large), who is considered a political moderate supportive of community-based businesses. Both have expressed strong support for the LGBTQ community.
The Washington Post reports that Bowser declined to say in an interview whether she will endorse a candidate to succeed her or what she plans to do after she leaves office as mayor.
Among her reasons for not running again, she told the Post, was “we’ve accomplished what we set out to accomplish.”
District of Columbia
Fadi Jaber’s Middle Eastern background shapes Adams Morgan bakery
The Cakeroom is on 18th Street, N.W.
Fadi Jaber is the gay owner behind the Cakeroom’s bright pink facade on 18th Street, N.W. He combines his Middle Eastern background and American flavors to bring a nostalgic spread of desserts to Adams Morgan.
Born and raised in a U.S. compound in Saudi Arabia, Jaber first unlocked an interest in classic American desserts from his classmates.
“I was jealous that their moms would bring these delicious cupcakes to school when it was their birthdays, and my mom never made stuff like that. It was just grape leaves and hummus and very good Arabic food,” Jaber said.
After years of making boxed cake mixes in Saudi Arabia, Jaber tried a carrot cake from a friend’s wife from the U.S. He soon decided to make the recipe himself. When letting his parents sample the treat, Jaber’s mother suggested adding dates instead of carrots.
Now, Jaber sells the same date cake at the Cakeroom.
Jaber solidified his appreciation for American baked goods after a friend took him to Magnolia’s Bakery in New York. The visit inspired him to enroll in the Institute of Culinary Education.
“I just fell in love with the concept, and it was very much up my alley,” Jaber said. “I was already baking from scratch and making homemade style desserts that weren’t super chichi and elegant, but more just delicious and fun and nostalgic, and a throwback to people’s childhood.”
Upon leaving culinary school, Jaber moved to Jordan, where his parents relocated. He decided to leave his corporate job and open a bakery. According to Jaber, his father initially refuted the idea until he tried the desserts Jaber perfected in culinary school.
“He was part of the Palestinian diaspora. So, you know, given all the instability in his life having been forced out of their homes in 1948, it was really a very scary thought to add more instability by going out on your own and starting your own business,” Jaber said.
Jaber then opened Sugar Daddy’s, his first bakery, in Amman, Jordan, in 2007.
According to Jaber, the bakery was the first cupcake shop in the Middle East. He soon launched additional locations in Beirut, Lebanon, and Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

After six years, Jaber decided to return to the U.S. Jaber noted that he had “always longed” to live there, but he struggled to make his cakes a novel concept to an American audience.
“I’m kind of bringing pasta to the Italians, in a sense, where my cupcakes were very unique in Jordan, they wouldn’t be as unique in D.C.,” Faber said. “But my mom had confidence. She didn’t even bat an eye, and she was like, ‘I think you should do it.’”
Years prior, Jaber began visiting Washington while attending the College of William & Mary. Upon the move, he settled on Washington as a less competitive market than New York, citing his appreciation for the city’s international feel, architecture and nature.
After recruiting investors, Jaber opened Sugar Daddy’s in Adams Morgan in December 2013. However, upon being struck with a cease and desist letter from a bakery in Ohio with a similar name, Jaber experimented with 20 different names for the business.
Finally, he settled on the Cakeroom in the summer of 2014.
“I actually got some calls from D.C. government employees thanking me for the name change, because they said Sugar Daddy’s didn’t look good when they would Google it on their work laptops,” Jaber said, jokingly.

As for Jaber’s identity as a gay man, he notes that he hopes customers visit the Cakeroom because “they like our product” rather than due to his sexual identity. Still, he notes that operating the bakery in an LGBTQ-friendly city increases business opportunities to bake for LGBTQ weddings.
“A lot of people know me as the owner, I’m the face behind the brand. People in D.C. know that I’m gay, so I think we do get some business that way, but I would hate for people to just support my business because of my sexual orientation,” Jaber said.
Jaber manages the Cakeroom remotely, focusing on online orders, deliveries, scheduling, ordering, cash management, and more. He notes that while most days are routine, “at least two, three times a week there’s some firefighting that needs to happen.”
While Jaber does not intend on opening another location of the Cakeroom, he hopes to continue managing the business for another decade.
“I’ve been in this industry for 18 years,” Jaber said. “So if I can just keep it afloat, that would be my hope. It gives me purpose on a daily basis.”
Jaber’s top recommendations from the Cakeroom’s array of sweets include Nutella cookies, the date cake, and the carrot cake.
The carrot cake is based on the dessert that first inspired Jaber to pursue a career in baking.
“I think I altered it just a tiny bit, but for the most part, it is based off of the original recipe that I got from my friend’s wife,” Jaber said.
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