Living
Back to School: How it got better at William & Mary
Trammell on the importance of mentoring new generation
The future rector, Jeff Trammell (class of 1973), was captain of the basketball team. (Photo courtesy of Trammell)
Editor’s note: This is the second installment in the “Back To School” series assessing the LGBT climate on university campuses as told by alumni we’re pairing with current students to tell their stories. This week: Jeff Trammell and William & Mary. Next in the series: Lesbian author Fay Jacobs returns to American University.
Speaking of her beloved college, the acclaimed actress Glenn Close once said, “I have an indestructible, visceral connection to this place — a connection which is vital and real and which has sustained me through good times and bad.”
This loving endorsement of William & Mary by Close threads the needle for this series. As we explore the experiences and struggles of gay alumni, the actress known for her roles in “Dangerous Liaisons” and “Fatal Attraction” serves apt imagery.
For Jeff Trammell, in the early 1970s, any same-sex liaisons would have been dangerous — and any attraction could be fatal to his reputation, or worse.
So, while heterosexual classmates were sewing their wild oats, Trammell buried himself in books, basketball and life in the Lambda Chi fraternity. One can picture him with 20 pounds of history books in his backpack, waiting in line to use a public pay phone to call his “date” — a coed with whom only polite conversation would take place. No liaisons, no attractions. The oats he sewed were mild. He only risked coming out once, quietly, to his straight little brother in the fraternity. Much later in life, Trammell would come to lead the Lambda Alliance for LGBTQ’s, but, typical of Trammell, he didn’t drop his ties to Lambda Chi. To this day he is thankful to — and a dear friend of —his little brother and sole confidant, Dave Blount.
Trammell took one shot at wild oats back then. It was a secret mission into D.C. to check out the legendary gay bar, Lost and Found. He arrived at 7 p.m. and entered solo. The bartender just laughed and said, “Come back at 11.” The star senior hoopster was a rookie in gay life so he anxiously sat out in the parking lot. Once inside at the stroke of 11, he saw men dancing with men. As he puts it, “Breathtaking.” But, across the crowded dance floor he spotted the captain of the tennis team, and frightened, he slunk into the shadows, “which is not easy at 6’7″.”
Like many southern boys, Trammell relies on those immortal words from “Steel Magnolias”: “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” And strong is an understatement. Settled down with Stuart Serkin, his husband with whom he has danced for 36 years, they laugh at having met taking the Florida Bar exam — and Serkin had to coax out of Trammell that his great uncle was indeed “that” former Gov. Trammell of Florida. Their first date was to see “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” and here they are 36 years later watching the potential reality horror show “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Under Ken Cuccinelli?” But, ever present in their politics, both are at the barricades working for Democratic gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe.
Trammell has worked for Democrats on Capitol Hill for decades, run LGBT outreach for both the Al Gore and John Kerry campaigns and gone toe-to-toe on gay issues with the likes of Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly on Fox News. Throughout his life, he has always stayed involved in William & Mary alumni affairs. Last year, he agreed once again to mentor an undergrad — this time Davey McKissick, a senior whose experiences are quite different.
First off, McKissick’s books and phone are both on his iPad, and literally balanced in the palm of his hand. In his other hand? His boyfriend’s. No pay phones, no book bags, no coed “beards.” And if McKissick were single and ran into a gay tennis player, he wouldn’t feel the need to run away. He leads an authentic life. He has learned his gay history through documentaries, lectures at W&M and through Trammell. His ambition was to intern in D.C. and among the 15,000 alumni in the D.C. area, he’s sitting at Trammell and Company with Jeff — the first openly gay board chair (rector) of a major university.
William & Mary elected the first openly gay board chair of a major university in the United States. It didn’t happen in Cambridge, Berkley or Madison. It happened in Williamsburg, Va. “I owe it all to the GALA students and faculty at the university,” Trammell said. “They created the climate for this to happen.” There are many reasons to look up to this former basketball star, and his height isn’t even at the top of the list. Start with McKissick’s gay hero, Barney Frank. It so happens that Trammell co-founded Stonewall Democrats with Frank, so the next thing you know, bang, McKissick is shaking hands with his hero. McKissick is interested in LGBT outreach at the DNC, and poof, he’s sitting in the director, Jeff Marootian’s office, working the Obama-Biden campaign.
When not mentoring students, Trammell can be found funding LGBT lectures at W&M with Chris Bram, fellow alum and the author of “Gods and Monsters,” or helping to fund the Boswell Project, named for John Boswell, class of 1969 — the historian of same-sex relationships in the middle ages. Ironically, Boswell was lost in the AIDS plague. Or you can find Trammell working with David Mixner on the gay issues documented in the U.S. Holocaust Museum. He’s been appointed to the board of the Association of Governing Boards of Universities and Colleges, which represents 38,000+ trustees across the U.S. He’s answering his Blade interview questions at 1 a.m. and then at press time, he’s on the front page of the Washington Post dealing with the new tuition structure. Throughout, his trips to Williamsburg and Richmond are frequent.
Davey McKissick (class of 2014) has led a very different life on campus than his mentor, Jeff Trammell (’73), at William & Mary. (Photo courtesy of McKissick)
Back in Williamsburg, McKissick has already navigated the same gauntlet of traditions Trammell did — swimming the Crim Dell pond, jumping the wall of the Governor’s Mansion, and running the Sunken Gardens. But today, gay campus life is lived in Technicolor with Pride festivals, movie nights and the occasional drag show. There are “safe zones” throughout campus, letting LGBT students know they are welcome.
Reflecting on all this change, Trammell recalls his mother’s reaction late in life to his coming out post-college.
“Well, she was very WASPy and southern and that adds up to being polite,” Trammell said. “She said ‘Oh, honey, I’ve known that for a long time. Now, we don’t need to talk about it’.”
He got unconditional love, but conditional parameters for discussing it. McKissick’s answer to the question about his straight heroes is heart-warming. He answers: “Betty and Ron.” That would be his parents, the McKissicks.
“I could not ask for more supportive influences in my life,” he said. “They motivate me to set high goals for myself and to be relentless in achieving them.” Betty and Ron have no problem talking with — or about — their son.
“It’s remarkable to see Davey is fully out and authentic, things not possible for me back then,” Trammell said. “I think no matter what the size of your alma mater, gay alums should get back involved and support their students.”
As rector, he will officiate commencement at William & Mary Hall this summer, on the same floor he played his first basketball game.
The college marks 1918 as admitting the first woman student and 1951 the first African American. Gays have been there since 1693, but the price to pay for being admitted was no admission of who you were. Those days are steadily fading behind us. Because of its history, W&M has been called “the alma mater of a nation:”
Hark the students voices swelling
Strong and true and clear
Alma Mater’s love their telling
Ringing far and near
Today, each student’s voice is strong and clear. Liaisons aren’t dangerous and attractions aren’t fatal to your reputation. LGBT alumni proudly join Glenn Close in a visceral connection that has sustained them all through the years.
And so, even from a famed Sunken Garden, when he’s standing on Trammell’s shoulders, McKissick can see nothing but rainbows in a clear blue sky ahead of him.
Read the previous installment of this series at washingtonblade.com. If you have alumni stories to share, reach Brent Mundt at [email protected].
Real Estate
Yes, Virginia, there is down payment assistance
Tax abatement, homestead deductions among options to research
Let’s be honest – the average person in the Washington, D.C. area has not been living under a rock, knows how to Google whatever they are looking for, and probably has plenty of connections in their graduate program, place of employment, or at their family holiday dinner who can help them figure out how to purchase a home.
But there were lessons learned as I was working in real estate, that, otherwise, I wouldn’t have even known to ask about. In other words, “How do you know what you don’t even know?”
For example:
- Some lenders can help you find ways to pay off certain amounts of student loan debt before going to settlement. Depends on the jurisdiction you plan to buy in.
- Some down payment assistance loans are available in almost every state. Certain cities and counties have their own versions of this assistance. Some of these programs can be stacked up.
- In D.C., and in many other places, you are required to get a home inspection if you are receiving money from the government to buy a home. That way they aren’t giving you (or lending you) money to buy what Tom Hanks and Shelley Long would call a “Money Pit.” (If you haven’t seen that movie, do yourself a solid and watch it.)
- Did you know that certain lending institutions have what are called “Doctor’s Loans” for people with higher amounts of student loan debt?
- Some jurisdictions have various types of tax abatement for first-time homebuyers. Ask about topics such as “Tax Abatement” and “Homestead Deductions.” This will reduce your tax bill for a property that is owner occupied, OR delay paying property taxes for a set period of time.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of topics to consider. But it is meant as an idea generator. There could be some programs where you live that would help you find a way to get into homeownership, get out of paying high monthly rents, and start socking away a monthly investment. Is homeownership for everyone? Probably not. But for some people, including many of the clients I’ve worked with, it was an easy way to put a large sum of money away monthly. Eventually that money could become a nest egg for leveling up their housing, taking the money back for other purposes, or just one of the tools in their tool belt of personal wealth building.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Real Estate
What LGBTQ buyers, sellers need to know about new real estate rules
Regulations are reshaping how transactions are conducted
In recent months, the real estate landscape has undergone significant changes, with new rules and regulations reshaping how transactions are conducted. These changes affect buyers and sellers across the board, but LGBTQ individuals and couples navigating the housing market should be particularly aware of how these updates might impact their decisions and opportunities. At GayRealEstate.com, we’re here to keep you informed and empowered.
1. Transparency in Agent Compensation
One of the most notable changes involves how real estate agents are compensated. New rules aim to increase transparency, requiring agents to clearly disclose their commissions and how they are paid. For LGBTQ buyers and sellers, this means you’ll have a better understanding of the financial side of your transaction, making it easier to avoid hidden fees or misunderstandings.
Tip: Make sure your agent explains their compensation structure up front. Working with an LGBTQ-friendly real estate agent through GayRealEstate.com ensures you’re connected with professionals who prioritize clarity and fairness.
2. Contracts Before Home Tours
In some areas, buyers are now required to sign a representation agreement before touring homes. While this adds a layer of formality, it can also help you establish a stronger relationship with your agent and ensure they’re working in your best interest.
What It Means for LGBTQ Buyers: Choosing an agent who understands your unique needs is critical. Signing a contract ensures that your agent is committed to helping you find a home in a community where you’ll feel safe and welcome.
3. New Protections Against Discrimination
Recent policy changes reinforce anti-discrimination measures in housing, which is particularly relevant for LGBTQ individuals. While federal laws like the Fair Housing Act prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, some states have gone further by implementing additional protections.
How to Navigate: Familiarize yourself with your state’s specific laws, and rely on LGBTQ-friendly agents who are committed to advocating for your rights throughout the transaction process.
4. Market Conditions: Buyers vs. Sellers
The current housing market is in flux, with inventory levels, interest rates, and demand varying widely by region. Sellers may face longer listing times, while buyers could encounter more competitive environments in desirable areas.
5. Mortgage Updates for LGBTQ Couples
Lenders are becoming more inclusive in recognizing diverse family structures, but disparities still exist. It’s essential to work with lenders who understand your unique situation and ensure fair treatment during the mortgage process.
Advice: An LGBTQ-friendly agent can connect you with lenders who are sensitive to your needs and knowledgeable about programs that support equal access to home financing.
Why These Changes Matter
The new rules emphasize fairness, transparency, and accountability — values that align closely with the mission of GayRealEstate.com. However, navigating these changes requires expert guidance, especially for LGBTQ buyers and sellers who may face additional challenges in the market.
Take Action Today
Buying or selling a home is one of the most significant decisions you’ll make, and having the right support can make all the difference. At GayRealEstate.com, we connect LGBTQ buyers and sellers with experienced, LGBTQ-friendly agents who are committed to protecting your rights and helping you achieve your goals.
Whether you’re just starting your real estate journey or ready to make your next move, we’re here to help. Visit GayRealEstate.com to find your perfect agent and get started today.
This article is brought to you by GayRealEstate.com, the nation’s largest network of LGBTQ-friendly real estate agents.
Jeff Hammerberg is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at 303-378-5526.
Real Estate
Your holiday home journey
Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection
Thanksgiving and real estate share an essential theme: the importance of home. It is traditionally a time of gratitude, togetherness, and reflection. While its hallmark symbols may include turkey dinners, family gatherings, and autumnal décor, it also invites us to think deeply about our values and who and what we hold dear.
For some people, the family home connotes a place of safety, comfort, and community. For others, visiting with family over the holiday can be a contentious and stressful ordeal best avoided. Countless of my friends have severed toxic relationships that can rival an exploding, deep-fried turkey. They have opted instead for dining out or hosting a gathering of food and football with like-minded people.
During Thanksgiving, the idea of “home” becomes particularly poignant. It is more than just a physical structure; it’s where people gather, memories are made, and traditions are passed down. For those involved in real estate — whether as professionals or as individuals embroiled in the market — this emotional dimension of home is a driving force.
When buying a house, it’s not just about square footage or the number of bedrooms. It’s about envisioning a Thanksgiving dinner in the dining room, imagining children playing in the backyard, or hosting friends in the cozy living space. Real estate decisions often tap into our deeper desires for connection, stability, and legacy — values closely tied to the spirit of Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving falls in the quieter part of the real estate calendar, with spring and summer being the traditionally hot seasons for buying and selling. Yet, for those who choose to list their homes in November, the holiday offers unique opportunities. Sellers can use Thanksgiving’s warm, inviting atmosphere to their advantage, staging homes with seasonal touches like autumn wreaths, a cornucopia of fruits and nuts, the sparkle of a dining room chandelier, and the scent of freshly baked pies.
A well-decorated home during this time can evoke an emotional connection with potential buyers. A cozy environment can help them imagine spending their future holidays in that very space. Additionally, homes listed during the Thanksgiving season often face less competition, as fewer properties are on the market. This can lead to more serious offers from motivated buyers.
For buyers, Thanksgiving can function as a reminder of why they are on the hunt for a new home in the first place. Perhaps they are looking for a bigger space for a growing family. They may be downsizing to retire or to simplify life. They might be looking for home to accommodate both children and aging parents simultaneously. The holiday season underscores the importance of finding a home that aligns with lifestyle needs and future goals.
In our tight real estate market, buyers still face challenges such as limited inventory and higher interest rates; however, Thanksgiving encourages a shift in perspective. It’s a time to focus on gratitude for what is within reach — whether it’s finding a starter home, securing a dream property, or taking incremental steps toward long-term, financial goals.
Interestingly, Thanksgiving weekend has become an increasingly popular time for real estate research. Families can gather around the table and begin discussing the future, including moving to a new city, upgrading their home, or purchasing an investment property. Digital tools like web searches and virtual tours can help buyers and sellers stay connected to the real estate market without disrupting their Thanksgiving traditions.
Whether you are buying or selling, Thanksgiving offers an opportunity to reflect on the role of gratitude in real estate. For buyers, it’s about being thankful for the chance to find a home that meets their needs, even if the journey is challenging. For sellers, it’s a moment to appreciate the memories made in a home while looking forward to new opportunities.
For real estate agents and other industry professionals, Thanksgiving is a time to express gratitude to clients and colleagues, build stronger relationships, and highlight the human aspect of a business often driven by transactions alone.
If you are staying put this Thanksgiving, you have a chance to celebrate your current home, no matter its size or condition. Simple gestures like decorating with fall colors, rearranging furniture for a cozy feel, or preparing a special meal can deepen your connection to your space. Inviting neighbors, friends, or family to share in the festivities can reinforce the sense of community that makes a house a home.
Whether it’s the home you currently have, the one you’re searching for, or the one you are leaving behind, each holds a unique place in your life story. Take stock of the journey so far, recognize the progress made, and look forward to the possibilities ahead.
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