Living

Taboo topics

New doc explores how gay marriage battle went down last year in Md.

Published

13 years ago

June 20, 2013

Joey DiGuglielmo

Yoruba Richen, director/producer of ‘The New Black.’ (Photo by Luke Rattray; courtesy the filmmakers)

‘The New Black’
AFI Docs
Saturday at 1:30 p.m.
Goethe-Institute
812 7th St., N.W.Sunday at 1:15 p.m.
AFI Silver Theatre
8633 Colesville Rd.
Silver Spring, MD
$13
afi.com/afidocs

One of the big debates with reality TV is the inevitable degree to which the camera’s presence affects the way people act. It’s unquantifiable, of course, but it’s also a challenge for documentary filmmakers.

Yoruba Richen says she knew it would be hard to capture the kind of exchanges she wanted to get in her film “The New Black,” a piece that explores both last year’s battle for Maryland Question 6, a referendum question that won 52 percent of the vote last November to uphold same-sex marriage rights there, but also the larger issue of how the African-American community is grappling with gay rights and the degree to which many feel it’s comparable to the civil rights struggle. The roughly 80-minute documentary screens twice this weekend as part of the AFI Docs (formerly Silverdocs) festival that continues through Sunday.

Two such exchanges especially stand out — one Sharon Lettman-Hicks, executive director of National Black Justice Coalition, has with anti-gay family members at her husband’s (she’s an LGBT ally) retirement party and the tear-laced discussion 24-year-old lesbian Karess Taylor-Hughes has coming out to her religious foster mother.

Richen says both took a delicate approach.

“It’s hard,” she says during a phone interview from her Brooklyn home. “It’s really hard. You can’t just come in with lights and 5,000 people. You try to be as spare as you can. Like at that barbecue, it was just me and a camera person, that’s it. And there has to be a level of trust there. At that point with Sharon, we had already been filming for two years and the same with Karess. But there can be an advantage too because I think that for us, especially in the African-American community, we don’t always get a chance to share our stories so there can be a level of comfort and excitement that we are getting to talk about this issue. Also I think the fact that I’m black and there was another black person doing the filming helped everybody be a little more comfortable as well.”

Richen, a lesbian, met Lettman-Hicks at an LGBT conference in Dallas in 2010 and quickly recognized her as an ideal vehicle to explore the issues of race and sexuality that had been haunting her since many blamed blacks for California’s Prop. 8 ballot measure in 2008, the success of which overturned same-sex marriage rights there. After starting the project, she started to see Maryland — where gay marriage hadn’t yet bubbled to the surface when the project began — as a strong microcosm for the issues the entire country is dealing with at the intersection of race and religion.

Lettman-Hicks says she gave her family and her husband’s family a “heads up” before the film crew arrived. About three people opted out and said they didn’t want to be filmed.

She says she was happy to put herself and her family out there — even ones who aren’t politically on the same page with her — because she sensed the ultimate effect the piece could have.

“I came to LGBT activism later in life,” Lettman-Hicks says. “But my husband and I are both humanitarians and this is our passion, to make the black family whole again and stronger. These are just my brothers and sisters and these conversations are long overdue. Too many people have been harmed, both directly and indirectly, and the underlying issues stem much deeper.”

Samathan Master, a 25-year-old Columbia, Md., resident who identifies as a black queer femme, got involved with the project through her partner Kandice Fields, who is friends with Taylor-Hughes. She has worked with Equality Maryland and Human Rights Campaign and knocked on doors for Question 6 last year. She says she was happy to participate because the issue is loaded with history and baggage.

“Any conversation around sexuality and the black community is met with trepidation,” Master says. “I don’t really think black folks are any more or less homophobic than their white counterparts, but I think the way black people have dealt with sexuality since the days of slavery has been to not talk about it so then you have this movement and this thrust of LGBT equality and people coming out, right, so … there ends up being all this baggage we’ve carried with us century after century but it’s always been very quiet baggage and now that people are out and talking about it, there’s been an attempt to silence something that we’ve always known has existed but never really been vocal about.”

Refreshingly, though, “The New Black” isn’t just an LGBT propaganda machine. Anti-gay ministers such as Bishop Harry Jackson are interviewed in the film. Less notoriously, though, is one of its key figures — Pastor Derek McCoy, president of Maryland Family Alliance and associate pastor of Hope Christian Church in Beltsville, Md.

Richen says even though McCoy worked against Question 6 (and thus against same-sex marriage), she says her integrity as a documentarian necessitated the inclusion of other voices.

“He worked with me and I’m very grateful he did,” Richen says. “I really did my best to let them present their stories and their truth and they didn’t ask me a lot up front about my personal positions.”

Richen and her crew shot more than 100 hours of footage over a three-year period wrapping last November. Had Question 6 failed, she’s not sure she would have ended the story when she did though it ended up giving the ending a celebratory feel. She followed several key participants through Election Day. Richen won’t say how much the film cost to make but says she had support from PBS, Tribeca, Sundance, the Gill Foundation and several other entities. She says it came in the normal range — under $1 million, which is normal for a project of this scope.

Lettman-Hicks says viewers are in for a treat and that watching the film recently at its Los Angeles premiere was a powerful experience.

“It was all done with a lot of integrity,” she says. “There wasn’t one thing in there where I was like, ‘What’s that in there for?’ … A lot of it is reflective of my day-to-day life. Some of these conversations we’re having, that’s a day at work for me, but what was really a surprise was watching some of the young people. I was so touched by Samantha and Karess’s courage out there canvassing the streets in Baltimore. I was just so, so proud.”

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A magical Mercedes

S-Class continues to define what luxury really means

Published

2 weeks ago

May 23, 2026

Joe Phillips

Mercedes S-Class

At my stage of life — “somewhere between 40 and death,” as the iconic line goes in the musical “Mame” — I want some pampering. A lot of pampering.

Luckily, for anyone who constantly craves a soothing spa, steam room or sauna, there’s the completely updated Mercedes S-Class. This flagship sedan is now so full of glitz, glamour, and gee-whiz gadgetry, it gives new meaning to the term “auto erotica.”

Does this make the S-Class a “gay” ride? For me, any vehicle that pushes my buttons like this one is a Kinsey 6.

MERCEDES S-CLASS

$122,000 (est.)

MPG: 21 city/31 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.3 seconds

Trunk space: 19 cu. ft.

PROS: Exceptional comfort. Ultra-quiet cabin. Cutting-edge safety.

CONS: Price climbs fast. Tech learning curve. Sportier competitors.

The S-Class continues to define what luxury really means, with a bolder silhouette, larger grille, and striking, next-gen LED headlights. There’s also an optional illuminated Mercedes star on the hood. Overall, nearly 2,700 parts are new or improved, so more than 50 percent of this vehicle has been updated. An extreme makeover, to be sure.

At the same time, this latest S-Class leans harder into intelligence and electrification than ever before. Under the hood, a range of turbocharged inline-six and V8 engines — paired with mild-hybrid systems — deliver power in a way that seems almost edited for smoothness. Braking is solid and strong, too, but never abrupt. All the engineering is fine-tuned and intentional.

Yes, the top-of-the line S580 version is more expensive, almost $140,000. But it’s also blisteringly fast, zipping from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.9 seconds. That’s as lickety-split swift as a Lamborghini Revuelto supercar, which has a starting MSRP of $610,000 and can easily exceed — yowza! — $800,000.

Colors? There are 150 to choose from for the exterior and 400 for the interior. You can even customize the illuminated door sills, interior stitching and wheel accents.

And the ride quality? Sublime. Adaptive air suspension reads the road constantly, leveling out imperfections before they even register. Rear-axle steering enhances maneuverability, making this full-sized sedan feel surprisingly nimble in tight spaces. On the highway, the S-Class simply glides like a private yacht on the calmest of seas — extremely quiet, composed and completely unbothered.

Whenever you slide inside, the cabin immediately sets the tone. A massive OLED digital display — the same high-def technology used for cinematic viewing and gaming monitors — anchors the dashboard, running the latest MBUX infotainment interface. Highly customizable, this software allows for advanced voice commands that feel natural, not forced. And an augmented-reality navigation system takes your route and overlays it onto live camera feeds. It’s intuitive — mostly, as there is a learning curve for all this cutting-edge gear. Overall, though, such amenities make older setups feel like dial-up internet.

A Burmester surround-sound stereo is available in 3D or 4D, with up to 31 speakers, 1,690 watts and tactile transducers in the seats that vibrate and pulse with the music. Those seats are, of course, extremely comfortable. And the seatbelts? These are now heated.

Let’s not forget the latest cabin air-filtration system, which can remove ultra-fine particles to deliver air quality that rivals medical environments. Clean air, yes, but even this seems like a special treat. It’s like being swaddled in couture, not ready-to-wear.

And lastly, there’s the rear-seat area, which — to be honest — is where the S-Class really shines. Executive packages offer multi-contour reclining seats with rapid heating and ventilating, heated armrests and massage functions. You can opt for a footrest, which ups the glam factor to give you a calf massage. Dual 13.1-inch display screens come with their own remote controls. There’s also a video-conferencing feature, to help transform the rear cabin into a fully connected mobile office. For me, it feels less “back seat” and more “private lounge.”

Even in fiction, high-tech luxury carries weight. Tony Stark helped cement the idea that state-of-the art vehicles can be aspirational, not just practical. The magical S-Class fits right into that narrative — minus the flying suit (for now).

Advice

I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life

How can I turn things around before it’s too late?

Published

2 weeks ago

May 22, 2026

Michael Radkowsky

I’m officially old, maybe even nearing the finish line and I’m getting bitter.

Dear Michael,

I’m a 64-year-old single gay man and I hate my life.

I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months. I can’t say why. I don’t think I’m defective. I wasn’t unattractive when I was younger (still not bad looking), I think I’m an interesting person to spend time with, but everything always seemed to fizzle out.

Thankfully, I missed AIDS because I came out after people knew what to do. Sometimes I wonder if fear of contracting the virus metastasized into a fear of getting close. I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve consciously kept people away. Consciously I have wanted someone to share my life with, very much.

With my 65th birthday and official senior citizen status approaching, I’ve been taking stock of my life and am coming to the hard realization that I’m never going to find that elusive partner.

I don’t go out anymore because people look right through me, except the ones who have a fetish for older guys. No one’s actually interested in me as me, a unique person rather than what they see on the surface.

I’m tired of my coupled friends. They’re always talking about “we.” Yes, I have become resentful that they have what I want and will never get. I know that’s not admirable but it’s how I feel, secretly, and I am sick of feeling like this when I am around them. So why be around them?

And I’m tired of my friends who are focused on sex all the time. It just all feels like a waste of time. I don’t get anything from a hookup anymore, they’ve been feeling increasingly meaningless. I feel like I’m someone’s momentary opportunity to get off, rather than any kind of real connection.

I’m just sick of the whole chase I’ve been doing for the last 40+ years.

I’m realizing that the whole thing has been pointless, a quest for a partner who is never going to materialize and a lot of diversions along the way that have added up to a despairing feeling that I’ve wasted my life trying to get something that will never happen.

Gay life hasn’t been so gay for me. And I’m officially old, maybe even nearing the finish line. Yes, if you haven’t noticed, I’m getting bitter.

What do I do with this dead end?

Michael replies:

How about looking for a different road to go down?

I’m not going to challenge your belief that you aren’t going to find a partner. I think it’s possible that you could, because there are other guys out there, in your age range, who are looking. But you have no guarantee, especially if you have decided to take it off the table.

So what else can you do with your life? How can you make your remaining time on this earth well-lived?

From your letter, it’s clear what you don’t want to do: Look for a boyfriend, hook up, or spend time with your current friends. Surely there must be more possibilities for your life than those options.

So my advice is to figure out some things you care about and start doing them. Travel? Volunteering? Getting a companion animal? Taking classes? Finding a new career? Those are just a few of the ideas I can come up with, but I don’t know you. What ideas can you generate, that you suspect you’d like to pursue?

In other words, start putting one foot in front of the other and go in some new directions that intrigue you enough to explore.

Sitting around feeling miserable does not help you to get anywhere. It keeps you feeling miserable. Sitting around waiting to feel better does not lead you to feel better. What would help you get to a better place would be to start taking action on your own behalf. Always keep in mind that while you are alive, with your faculties intact, you do have the choice to take this step, over and over and over again.

If you give yourself something (or some things) worthwhile to put your focus on, and do your best to shift your focus there whenever you notice that you are lamenting, I’m hopeful you will create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

I’m also hopeful that if you are spending time doing things that you actually enjoy and that enrich your life, you may find more satisfying companionship than you are experiencing with your current friend group. (And yes, this could include a romantic relationship if you decide to be open to this possibility.)

A brief reply in an advice column can point you in the right direction, but it is likely not enough to sustain and motivate you through a major life overhaul.

Therefore, I suggest that you find a therapist to help you figure out how to move forward and what to move toward; and also to grieve, and put to rest as best you can, the loss of the life you hoped you would have.

I know that transcending the loss of a huge lifelong dream may seem impossible. But working toward this, as best you are able, would help you.

Relatedly, one more thing that I hope you can address with a therapist is your bitterness. I do understand why you feel so bitter, and I also think that it is torquing your life in a downhill direction.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, and New York. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].