Arts & Entertainment

Debunking ‘Myths’

Despite generalizations, new book is thoughtful antidote

Published

11 years ago

December 23, 2013

Terri Schlichenmeyer

‘You Can Tell Just by Looking’ by Michael Bronski, Ann Pellegrini and Michael Amico. (Image courtesy Beacon Press)

‘You Can Tell Just By Looking and 20 Other Myths about LGBT Life and People’

By Michael Bronski, Ann Pellegrini and Michael Amico

Beacon Press

$16

You’ve been hearing rumors. You don’t know what to believe.

Your favorite club is closing, it’s got new owners, it’s being remodeled, none of the above. You can get married anytime, the law is being repealed, it’s being approved. You’re being downsized, you’re getting a raise.

Sometimes, you don’t know what to think. Other times, you think you know but you’re wrong. In the new book “’You Can Tell Just By Looking’ And 20 Other Myths about LGBT Life and People” by Michael Bronski, Ann Pellegrini and Michael Amico, you’ll see where truth and misconception cross paths.

For most of your life, you’ve probably heard how no one person is better than anybody else. We’re all created equal. Or are we?

Thinking, for instance, that LGBT people are “the same as” straight people “obscures the fact that specific everyday realities and social structures have shaped the lives of LGBT people very differently,” say the authors. Even the term “LGBT” ignores that L, G, B and T are “all distinct experiences.”

The myths continue:

Take, for instance, the notion that “gaydar” is more than just intuition, “a skill that everybody … has.” While research shows that lesbians and gay men can identify other lesbians and gay men better than can straight people, it may only be a matter of desire or empathy.

Or consider the myth that homophobia masks a straight person’s true desire. That belief came from something published more than 50 years ago; the author took the thought in a different direction, but “it became the main idea people took away from the book.”

Same-sex marriage does not “harm” marriage as a whole; in fact, it may “make for happier heterosexual couples.” Not all religions “condemn” homosexuality; no one race is particularly biased against it; parenting has nothing to do with the sexuality of the mothers or fathers (“good parenting… is not a biological given”); bodies and sexuality are “complicated;” and it’s not necessarily easier coming out today than it was a half-century ago.

Though your Mama warned against such things, based on the cover, you might think that this is a fun kind of book. And you’d be disappointed.

No, “’You Can Tell Just by Looking’” is filled with deep thinking research-based information and no-nonsense answers to “myths” that may or may not be widely rumored. It’s wordy to the extreme, and though the authors claim that LBGT readers believe myths about themselves, I often wondered if this book was preaching to the choir. There’s a whole lotta overgeneralization goin’ on here, too.

Still, the authors don’t shy away from controversy; they tackle some tough (and food-for-thought) ideas with thoughtful inspection. I appreciated that lack of fear and the willingness they had to confront ill-conceived credos.

Overall, I think that if you’re searching for retorts to blanket statements about LGBT people, this book may give you what you need. It won’t be the most fun thing you’ve ever read, but “’You Can Tell Just by Looking’” is one I believe may help.

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Calendar

Calendar: March 21-27

LGBTQ events in the days to come

Published

4 hours ago

March 21, 2025

Tinashe Chingarande

Friday, March 21

“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Social in the City” at 7 p.m. at Hotel Zena. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, March 22

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Black Lesbian Support Group will be at 11 a.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-led support group devoted to the joys and challenges of being a Black lesbian. You do not need to be a member of the Beta Kappa Chapter or the Beta Phi Omega Sorority in order to join, but they do ask that you either identify as a lesbian or are questioning that aspect of your identity. For more details, email [email protected].

Sunday, March 23

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Coffee and Conversation” at 1:30 p.m. at As You Are. This event is for someone looking to make more friends and meaningful connections in the LGBTQ community. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Monday, March 24

“Center Aging Monday Coffee & Conversation” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].

Queer Book Club will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This month’s read is “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. For more information, email [email protected].

Tuesday, March 25

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This support group is for people who identify outside of the gender binary – whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-facilitated discussion group and a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.

Wednesday, March 26

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

LGBTQ Senior Spring Fling Dinner and Dance will be at 6 p.m. at the True Reformer Building. Join Capitol Hill Village, DACL, The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center, Iona, and Seabury for its first-ever event of this kind, where there’ll be a DJ, special party favors, and lots of good food. To RSVP, visit the DC Center’s website.

Thursday, March 27

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.

Virtual Yoga with Sarah M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breath work, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.

Photos

PHOTOS: Ziegfeld’s/Secrets Reunion Party

Crush event celebrates legendary venue

Published

2 days ago

March 19, 2025

Michael Key

Ella Fitzgerald performs at the Ziegfeld's/Secrets Reunion Party at Crush Dance Bar on Saturday, March 15. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

A Ziegfeld’s/Secrets Reunion Party was held on Saturday, March 15 at Crush Dance Bar. The event celebrated and remembered the legendary local LGBTQ venue Ziegfeld’s/Secrets, closed in 2020. Performers at the reunion party drag show included Ella Fitzgerald, Destiny B. Childs, Tatiyanna Voche and Kristal Smith.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)