Living
How to get married in D.C., Maryland & Delaware
You’re considering taking the plunge?
Marriage equality expanded throughout the mid-Atlantic in 2013 with Maryland and Delaware joining D.C. in allowing same-sex couples to wed. Clayton Zook and Wayne MacKenzie tied the knot on New Year’s Day in 2013 on Tilghman Island. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)
So you’re considering taking the plunge, but do you know exactly how to get married? Where to obtain a license? Where it’s legal?
The good news for D.C.-area couples is that you have three local options for tying the knot, as same-sex marriage is legal in D.C., Maryland and Delaware. Virginia lags but two lawsuits are working their way rapidly through the courts and could lead to marriage equality in the commonwealth in the not-too-distant future.
All couples, including same-sex couples, planning to get married in the District of Columbia, Maryland and Delaware must first obtain a marriage license at a designated government office or courthouse.
Each of the three jurisdictions provides couples with the option of getting married at a courthouse or county government office in a civil ceremony performed by an official appointed by the jurisdiction. The couples may also select a member of the clergy to perform the marriage at a religious institution or other location of the couple’s choosing.
District of Columbia
Marriage Bureau
D.C. Superior Court
500 Indiana Ave., N.W., Room 4555
Washington, D.C.
• One or both of the parties or a designated surrogate must come to the Marriage Bureau to complete a marriage license application.
• Identification and proof of age is required for both parties in the form of a government-issued ID such as a driver’s license, birth certificate or passport.
• The minimum age for marriage in D.C. is 18. Persons of the age of 16 or 17 may marry with the consent of a parent or guardian.
• The marriage license application fee is $35 and the marriage certificate fee is $10. All fees must be paid in cash or by money order payable to the Clerk, D.C. Superior Court.
• Previous marriage information is required from both parties, such as documentation of a divorce or the death of a former spouse and the state or jurisdiction of the previous marriage.
• Religious celebrants and judges other than those of the D.C. courts must be authorized by the court and registered by the Marriage Bureau in order to perform a legal marriage in D.C.
• The full name of the intended celebrant must be given at the time the application is submitted.
• A recently enacted D.C. law, the Marriage Officiant Amendment Act of 2013, allows the couple getting married to select any adult to perform their marriage as a “temporary officiant.” The new law also allows the couple to perform their own marriage. The law applies only for marriage ceremonies performed outside the courthouse.
• Under a separate, longstanding D.C. law, three full days must pass between the time the marriage license application is submitted and the time the license can be issued. One or both members of the couple or a designee must return in person to pick up the license. The license has no expiration date.
• At the time the marriage license application is submitted, a request for a civil wedding at the courthouse may be made. A clerk will schedule the ceremony with a court official who will perform the marriage on or close to a date selected by the couple but not sooner than 10 business days after the license is issued.
• The marriage ceremony room accommodates approximately 10 to 15 guests. There is no fee for the ceremony.
Maryland
• Marriage licenses in Maryland are issued by the Clerk of the Circuit Court in each of the state’s 23 counties and the City of Baltimore, which is treated as a county. The fee for a marriage license varies from county to county but is usually within the range of $35 to $55.
• Maryland law requires that the marriage license be obtained from the Circuit Court in the county where the marriage is to take place regardless of the place of residence of the couple to be married.
• The marriage license must be obtained at least 48 hours before the marriage ceremony. Couples may seek a waiver of the two-day waiting period from a judge, and military service or illness is considered grounds for a possible waiver.
• A divorced person must provide a copy of the divorce decree that shows where and when the divorce took place. A license cannot be processed without this information.
• Identification for both parties, such as a driver’s license, birth certificate, passport, or military I.D. must be presented at the time the application is submitted.
• In some counties, such as Montgomery County near D.C., out-of-state residents may obtain a license application form by email for a fee of $55. The application must be returned along with the fee by mail. In Montgomery County, officials will mail the license to the couple.
• A marriage license in Maryland expires in six months if the couple doesn’t marry within that time.
• In many counties, a judge, Clerk of the Circuit Court or a designated deputy clerk of the court are available to perform civil marriage ceremonies at the courthouse for a fee. Couples interested in a civil ceremony by the court should contact the Circuit Court in the county in which they plan to marry.
• An individual of the age of 16 or 17 must present proof of consent of a parent or guardian in order to obtain a marriage license. An individual of the age of 16 or 17 that doesn’t have parental permission and an individual at age 15 may be granted a marriage license if a licensed physician provides a certificate stating that the woman to be married is pregnant or has given birth to a child.
Delaware
• Marriage licenses in Delaware are issued by the County Clerk’s Office in each of the state’s three counties – New Castle County (Wilmington), Kent County (Dover), and Sussex County (Georgetown, which is near Rehoboth Beach).
• The couple must appear together at the county clerk’s office to apply for the license and must bring identification such as a driver’s license or birth certificate to confirm their identities.
• There is a one-day waiting period for obtaining the marriage license upon completion of the application for state residents and a four-day waiting period for out-of-state residents. The license is valid for 30 days.
• The application fee ranges from $30 to $100 depending on the county.
• In Sussex County a marriage license can be applied for online for an additional processing fee of $14.95. However, it must be picked up in person by both applicants at the Sussex County Marriage Bureau. It may be used anywhere in the state.
• Applicants must be at least 18 years old to be eligible for a marriage license. If either applicant is under the age of 18 they are considered minors and must petition the Delaware Family Court for authorization to marry.
• An original copy of a divorce decree or annulment decree is required for individuals who have been divorced or whose marriage has been annulled in order to be eligible for a marriage license in Delaware.
• If either applicant is on probation or parole, they must obtain written permission to marry from their probation or parole officer.
• In Sussex County, the Clerk of the Peace John Brady is available to perform “Memorable Marriage” ceremonies any day of the week and at any location within Sussex County, according to information on the Sussex County website, www.sussexcountyde.gov.
• Under state law, a witness is required to be present during a wedding ceremony. In Sussex County, the office of Clerk of the Court Brady has arranged for volunteers – including some associated with the Rehoboth Beach LGBT community center, CAMP Rehoboth, to serve as witnesses with a non-mandatory contribution suggested for the center.
Advice
How to cope when a partner gives you the silent treatment
Punishing behavior brings up memories of parent’s mistreatment
Michael,
My wife and I met less than two years ago and we were crazy about each other from the start. We wanted to spend life together so we just went for it. Maybe this wasn’t the most well-thought out decision on either of our parts but we thought that love conquers all.
But lately we’ve been arguing. The stuff we’re fighting about is never such a big deal: chores, or spending, or wanting to do different things on the weekend. But when I don’t want to go along with Michelle’s point of view, she gets angry and shuts down. Sometimes she stops talking to me for as long as a few days.
This is painful for me. My mom used to pull this stunt when I was a kid and she was mad at me. She also cut me off when I came out. We’re still estranged.
Michelle has a whole different take on this. She says I am being “mean” to her (when I don’t go along with what she wants) and this is painful, and she has to “take a break” to cool off.
I know she comes from a volatile family. She has told me there was a lot of screaming in her house, and she barely has a relationship with her parents as a result. So I get that she’s sensitive to conflict.
But I don’t think I’m being mean to her by standing up for what I want — certainly not enough to warrant her giving me the silent treatment.
We got married to have a great life together. We often do but I can’t live with someone who just shuts me out when she’s annoyed with me.
If I became a doormat and went along with everything she wants and never pushed back or complained, maybe she wouldn’t shut down. But I don’t want to do that.
I’d appreciate some ideas to improve the situation. I don’t want a divorce but I also don’t want to keep being mistreated.
Michael replies:
You can think of marriage — or any serious relationship — as a gym where you have ongoing opportunities to become an increasingly resilient person in the face of the ongoing challenges that an intimate relationship poses.
Your task here is to shift your focus toward figuring out how to handle yourself well, even in the awful circumstance of getting the silent treatment.
Michelle is not under an obligation to behave as you’d like her to. You can certainly ask her to stop withdrawing when she’s angry at you. But that doesn’t mean she is going to honor your request.
I well understand that Michelle’s punishing behavior is bringing up painful memories of your mother’s mistreatment. But if she doesn’t change her behavior, you have to find a way to live with Michelle as she is, with as much equanimity as you can muster, for as long as you choose to be married to her. If she does not change and you find her behavior to be unbearable, you can leave.
Every time she shuts down, Michelle is handing you an opportunity to figure out how you, yourself, can deal with feeling hurt and let down, rather than depending on someone else to behave as you’d like her to, or not upset you, or soothe you. Being in charge of your own mood rather than letting someone else press your buttons is a great skill to get better at.
I’m not going focus on what techniques you might use to soothe yourself — that’s a different column (or even better, a number of therapy sessions). That said, knowing that Michelle’s behavior comes from her history might help you to take it less personally. And, simply keeping in mind that living with a difficult spouse is unavoidable and worth getting better at may help you to quiet yourself down.
Another challenge that your marriage is pushing you to work on: Discerning when you can be generous, and when it is important to have a boundary. Of course, I understand that you don’t want to be a doormat by going along with whatever Michelle says and wants. But is it possible that she has a point, in that you could stand to lean more in her direction?
None of us get to have everything the way we want when we are in a relationship (much less in life). Figuring out the interplay between generosity and boundary is complicated. It often involves considering what is important to your partner; and deriving joy from her getting some of what is important to her, not only from your getting what you would like. And of course, it also involves figuring out what is most important to you.
If you set a boundary thoughtfully, because something is important to you, and Michelle doesn’t like it, you’re being handed an opportunity to get better at tolerating disappointment. Being a disappointment to your partner, and being disappointed in your partner, are both unavoidable parts of marriage: We’re all different, and at times will make choices that the other person really does not like.
If we make our decisions from a place of integrity rather than whim, entitlement, anger, or “whose turn it is”, and strive to honor the choices that our partners make from a place of integrity, this often makes the disappointment easier to bear.
Of course, it would be great if Michelle would join you in working to become a more solid and resilient spouse. As I mentioned earlier, you can’t persuade her to do so. But you can certainly tell Michelle what you are working on and ask her to consider how she, too, might use your relationship difficulties as a challenge to grow.
It isn’t easy to have such a conversation without sounding condescending. You are better positioned to do so when you are walking the walk, not just talking the talk. One good rule of thumb is to put you and your partner in the same boat, making it clear that you see the two of you as facing the same challenges, rather than positioning yourself in a superior position. Another is to initiate the conversation when you are both calm, rather than in the middle of a fight or when you’re getting the silent treatment.
One more point: If Michelle is willing, I’d suggest that you propose couples therapy as an opportunity for you two to collaborate on building a consistently loving relationship where neither of you lets your reactivity run the show.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Electric-vehicle tax credits may have faded earlier this year, but EVs themselves are far from losing their spark. There are more charging stations than ever, battery ranges are longer and more realistic, and automakers have finally figured out that EVs don’t all need to look like geeky science projects or feel like failed beta tests.
Just look at these two compact electrics, which are futuristic, fun and flexible enough for work or play.
HYUNDAI IONIQ 5
$37,000 to $48,000
Range: 245 to 318 miles
0 to 60 mph: 4.5 to 7.4 seconds
Cargo space: 26.3 cu. ft.
PROS: Fast charging. Roomy cabin. Silky-smooth suspension.
CONS: Wide turning radius. Rear wiper not on all trims. Price creep.
After being introduced three years ago, what’s new for the latest Hyundai Ioniq 5? Mostly refinement. Charging is quicker, software is smarter and Hyundai continues to quietly listen to feedback, tweaking ride comfort and usability. Think of it as switching from messy eyeliner to a perfectly sharp wing.
Exterior styling remains one of this EV’s biggest conversation starters. Those pixel-inspired lights, crisp lines and slick hatchback-meets-crossover proportions exude refreshing confidence. There’s no trying to blend in, and that’s the point. Park this Hyundai anywhere and heads will turn.
On the road, the Ioniq 5 prioritizes calm over chaos. Steering is light, the suspension smooths out rough pavement and acceleration feels brisk without being aggressive. Safety tech is plentiful and well-calibrated—adaptive cruise control, lane-centering, blind-spot monitoring—all working together without seeming like a nervous backseat driver. IOW, this ride is supportive, not clingy.
Inside, the user-friendly cabin shines. The flat floor and long wheelbase create a lounge-like atmosphere, with excellent legroom and airy visibility. Seats are well-bolstered and available with eco-friendly materials, and the sliding center console adds flexibility. Cargo space is generous, and the wide windshield makes city driving stress-free. Alas, the rear wiper is only available on select models. Overall, though, I appreciated how everything looks modern without feeling cold.
What makes this Hyundai special is its vibe. An EV that embraces individuality without shouting about it.
Fun fact: The Ioniq’s ultra-fast charging can add hundreds of miles in under 20 minutes—perfect for those who hate waiting almost as much as they hate small talk on awkward first dates.
VOLKSWAGEN ID.4
$46,000 to $59,130
Range: 206 to 291 miles
0 to 60 mph: 4.4 to 7.7 seconds
Cargo space: 30.3 cu. ft.
PROS: Sure handling. Decent range. Good storage.
CONS: Body roll in curves. Fussy infotainment. No frunk.
The latest VW ID.4 focuses on polish. Software updates have fixed earlier frustrations, and overall drivability feels more cohesive. Less “learning curve” and more “hop in and go,” like a dependable bestie who doesn’t overthink things.
Styling-wise, this EV is intentionally inoffensive. Soft curves, friendly lighting and a familiar crossover shape make it approachable. While the ID.4 won’t turn heads like the Ioniq 5, that’s OK. It’s more akin to a classic outfit that always works—timeless, not trendy.
Driving the ID.4 is relaxed and predictable. This SUV prioritizes comfort over thrills, with a suspension tuned for daily commuting and long highway drives. Safety features are comprehensive and reassuring, including excellent lane assistance and collision-prevention systems. It’s the kind of car that quietly has your back, no drama required.
Inside, the ID.4 offers a calm, uncluttered cabin with good space for passengers and cargo alike. Rear-seat legroom is especially strong, making it a solid road-trip companion. The seats are plush, visibility is good and while the infotainment system isn’t the most intuitive, it’s improved enough to be more than tolerable.
The ID.4’s special sauce is balance. It doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel—it just electrifies it.
Fun fact: This is one of the most globally popular EVs, proving that sometimes being universally liked is a strength, not a personality flaw. Think, gold star gay who still surprises you.
Real Estate
Child- and pet-proofing your home for the holidays
It isn’t about being perfect but about being prepared
The holidays are meant to be joyful, cozy, and full of laughter — but if you have young children or pets, they can also feel a little chaotic. Twinkling lights, shiny decorations, guests coming and going, and tables full of tempting food can turn your home into a wonderland of curiosity and mischief. The good news? With a little thoughtful planning, you can keep the holiday magic alive while making your home safer for everyone who lives there.
There’s something oddly comforting about movies where animals go to war with holiday decorations, turning carefully strung lights and perfectly placed ornaments into chaos. Whether it’s a mischievous dog tangled in tinsel or a curious cat launching a full-scale assault on a Christmas tree, these scenes tap into a universal experience for pet owners.
The humor comes from the contrast: the human characters are trying to create warmth, tradition, and picture-perfect cheer, while the animals see the decorations as toys, obstacles, or personal enemies. The resulting destruction — trees tipping over, ornaments shattering, lights blinking out—feels exaggerated but relatable, especially during the already hectic holiday season.
Let’s start with decorations because they tend to be the biggest attraction. Ornaments sparkle, garlands dangle, and everything seems designed to be touched, pulled, or tasted. If you have little ones or pets, consider placing your most fragile ornaments higher on the tree and using shatterproof options on the lower branches. Tinsel and ribbon may look festive, but they can be dangerous if swallowed, so skipping them or keeping them well out of reach is a simple way to reduce risk without sacrificing style.
Holiday lights are another favorite fascination. Before hanging them, take a few minutes to inspect each strand for frayed wires or broken bulbs. Secure cords along walls or behind furniture so they’re harder to grab or chew and unplug them when you leave the house or head to bed. Not only does this help prevent accidents, but it also gives you one less thing to worry about during a busy season.
The Christmas tree itself can become a focal point for exploration. Make sure it’s sturdy and well-anchored so it doesn’t tip if a toddler tugs on a branch or a pet decides to investigate. If you use a real tree, cover the water base since tree water can contain additives that aren’t safe if consumed. For artificial trees, keep an eye out for loose pieces or needles that could become choking hazards.
Food is a big part of holiday celebrations, and it’s also one of the most common sources of trouble. Many traditional treats—like chocolate, grapes, raisins, alcohol, and foods containing xylitol—are dangerous for pets. Keep plates and serving dishes up high, secure the trash can, and gently remind guests not to slip pets or kids “just a little bite” without checking first. For children, be mindful of hard candies, nuts, and small treats that could pose choking risks.
Candles and fireplaces add warmth and charm, but they deserve extra caution. Flameless candles are a wonderful alternative if you want ambiance without worry. If you do use real candles, place them well out of reach and never leave them unattended. Fireplaces should always have a sturdy screen or gate, especially with crawling babies or curious pets nearby.
Holiday gatherings bring wonderful energy into your home, but they can also create new challenges. Doors opening frequently make it easier for pets to slip outside, so consider setting up a quiet, comfortable space where they can relax during busy get-togethers. This can help reduce stress for them and give you peace of mind. For children, stair gates, locked cabinets, and clear boundaries can help prevent accidents when there’s extra excitement in the air.
New toys and gifts are another thing to watch closely. Packaging, twist ties, plastic wrap, and especially button batteries should be cleaned up promptly. These items are easy to overlook in the excitement of gift-opening but can be dangerous if swallowed. Taking a few minutes to tidy up as you go can make a big difference.
Lastly, try to keep routines as steady as possible. The holidays naturally disrupt schedules, but familiar mealtimes, naps, walks, and bedtime rituals help children and pets feel secure. A calmer household often means fewer accidents and a happier experience for everyone.
At the end of the day, child- and pet-proofing your home for the holidays isn’t about being perfect but about being prepared. A few small adjustments can help you relax, enjoy your guests, and focus on what truly matters: creating warm, happy memories with the ones you love. When your home feels safe, the holidays feel even sweeter.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
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