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Pride 2015: Celebrating and looking ahead

Military should welcome open trans service members

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Barack Obama signs DADT repeal

President Obama signed the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ in December 2010. The repeal took effect in September 2011. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

It has been almost four years since the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Since that historic victory, much in these great United States of America has changed for the benefit of our LGBT movement. But these historic achievements are only a start. We still have a significant amount of work to do to advance equality and fairness for all LGBT people. In particular, inclusion of LGBT individuals in the Military Equality Opportunity Program (MEO) was left on the table in the wake of the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

But in light of the work still to do, there is much reason to celebrate this Pride month.

Eight weeks ago, obtaining LGBT equality in the Military Equality Opportunity Program (MEO) was an uncertainty. However, with Brad Carson’s appointment as Under Secretary for Personnel and Readiness, OutServe-SLDN recognized the opportunity to re-energize the push for the Department of Defense to include LGBT individuals in the MEO.

After several intense weeks of advocating and lobbying by OutServe-SLDN, the Department of Defense will now send the Military Equality Opportunity Program to Secretary of Defense Ash Carter with sexual orientation included as a protected class. The Military Equal Opportunity identifies classes of service members that should be protected from discrimination, to allow them to rise to highest possible level of responsibility.  The policy will head to Secretary Carter’s office likely this week and he is expected to sign the policy by the end of June.

This continues our progress from last year, when the DoD Human Goals Charter was updated to make, “… military service in the Department of Defense a model of equal opportunity for all regardless of race, color, sex, religion, sexual orientation, or national origin.” The Human Goals Charter is still not perfect with the absence of protections for our transgender service members, but it moved the policy ever so slightly in the right direction.

Now, the inclusion of LGBT individuals in the MEO takes us one step further toward making military service a model of equal opportunity. That is why OutServe-SLDN remains focused on and took the necessary action to advocate that DoD and the service branches continue their progress toward ensuring equal protection and opportunity for all of our LGBT service members.

Despite this moment of celebration, our mission is not completed. Sadly, although sexual orientation will be included in the MEO, and despite our best efforts for full inclusion, gender identity will not be included at this time.

Recently, the Washington Blade published an article about transgender equality in the military or lack thereof. In that article I advocated that we must include all LGBT people when we push for changes in law, policy and lobbying. Although we were not successful in adding transgender to the MEO, OutServe-SLDN will always include transgender individuals in all of our efforts because when we separate our community we do a disservice to the advancement of all of our rights. Now, some took criticism to that point but to those detractors I say, by having the conversation about transgender equality as part of our movement’s larger conversation we move the equality line just a little bit further. It will be for us a year from now to obtain transgender equality in the MEO because of the conversations we have had over the last year.

I would further advocate that there is a strong likelihood that open transgender service would be undermined in the absence of non-discrimination protections. We have experienced with the repeal of DADT that discrimination rose because service members were allowed to serve openly but were still not a protected class. Neither I, nor OutServe-SLDN, believes it beneficial to secure open transgender service without having the necessary protections in place. The MEO does not require DoD to have a medical policy, open service policies, etc., to protect transgender individuals from discrimination. Until recently, only the Army had taken steps to slow the process of discharging transgender service members.

Service members have a sworn duty to serve and protect but we, as a nation, have a duty to protect our LGBT service members from discrimination.

Our community is looking at a big celebration in a few weeks both at the Department of Defense and the United States Supreme Court, but I want to remind you that the fight is not over. We deserve full equality. “Equality” can’t allow someone to get married on Sunday, and then be fired by their boss on Monday because they are gay. It is not equality when you deny a person from serving openly because they are transgender. It is not equality when our LGBT service members protect our country, but still face homophobic and transphobic slurs while serving.

Let us celebrate this Pride month as we move equality one step further with sexual orientation in the Military Equality Opportunity Program. Let us celebrate this Pride month as we remain cautiously optimistic that the United States Supreme Court will decide that marriage is a fundamental right for all. But let us also look ahead, let us use our history, our celebration to really galvanize our community for our next battles, our next fights. If we have learned anything from other movements, those who will fight against us will always do so.

 

Matt Thorn is interim executive director of OutServe-SLDN.

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Fathers should speak to kids about drugs, alcohol

Highlight dangers of illicit substances, how to manage peer pressure

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What does it take to be a good father? While there are many answers, it generally involves showing up daily, playing an essential role in their life, being there for them, and loving them unconditionally. 

Fathers are there to provide abundant love and support. Most fathers know the sacrifice it takes to ensure their children are loved and cared for. A father is always there for their kids, offering guidance, support, and education. The greatest joy for any father is seeing their children thrive, do well in life, and be healthy. 

However, things can get derailed in life, and teens and young adults take risks, such as experimenting with drugs or alcohol. Fathers have a responsibility to speak to their kids about drugs and alcohol and help them understand the risks and consequences. 

Data has shown that more than half of LGBTQ youth used alcohol in the last year, and more than one in three LGBTQ youth used marijuana in the previous year. Approximately 11% of LGBTQ youth reported regular use (defined as daily or weekly use) of both alcohol and marijuana.

Illegal drugs today are more readily available than ever before. According to the DEA, drug traffickers have turned smartphones into a one-stop shop to market, sell, buy, and deliver deadly fake prescription pills and other drugs. Amid this ever-changing age of social media influence, kids, teens, and young adults are easily influenced.  

Drug traffickers advertise on social media platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook. The posts are promptly posted and removed with code words and emojis used to market and sell illicit drugs. Unfortunately, digital media provides an increased opportunity for both marketing and social transmission of risk products and behaviors. 

Fathers are responsible for protecting and preparing our children for the world. Drug education is essential. Take the time to speak to your kids about the dangers of illicit substances, how to avoid and manage peer pressure, and what to look for. Be prepared to share personal experiences and help them understand that some choices have consequences. 

However, it can be challenging to see our kids struggle with things in life, and as fathers, we can also face our own difficulties, making it more difficult to help our children. The responsibility of raising children can be a lot; there are many challenges along the way, and the pressure of being a good influence can get the best of us. 

All of this makes it vital not to ignore our mental health; children, especially younger kids, mimic what they see. How we cope with frustration, anger, sadness, or isolation impacts our children in several ways. 

Our actions have consequences. Children see how we handle every situation, and while no father is perfect, we must be conscious of the fact they are impressionable when they are young. They look up to us, mimic our actions, and see when we are doing well in life mentally.   

The key for fathers caring for children is to take the time to care for themselves. However, if you are struggling, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Taking care of your mental health is the same as taking care of your physical health; it is an integral part of your well-being and contributes to you being the best father you can be.

Nickolaus Hayes is a healthcare professional in the field of substance use and addiction recovery and is part of the editorial team at DRS. His primary focus is spreading awareness by educating individuals on the topics surrounding substance use.

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In debate, Biden must stay on offense

President needs more lines like ‘I am running against a 6-year-old’

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President Joe Biden (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

On June 27, President Joe Biden will debate the man he has called a six-year-old. A great line, and he needs a few more like that. Unless there is a clear stumble by either candidate, we know what they will say. Trump will call Biden ‘sleepy Joe,’ among other names. But the reality is, people are used to it. They are not as used to Biden returning the favor. And Biden, aside from referring to Trump as a convicted felon, needs some lines that will make headlines the next day. Something with a little humor in it, but still making a strong point. 

Trump is scary. The recent column in the Washington Post on how Russ Vought, the former president’s budget director, is laying the groundwork for a broad expansion of presidential powers, is truly frightening. Now if it were me, I would be able to use my usual litany of words when referring to Trump: racist, sexist, misogynist, homophobic pig, found liable for sexual assault, and convicted felon. I may even go as far as suggesting society replace the word felon with “Trump.” People at trials could be convicted of 34 “Trumps.” But Biden can’t really use that. Maybe Biden can do something like look him in the eye and say, “You can’t really believe all the BS you keep spouting!” Then add, “The world is a complicated place, and even most six-year-olds seem to have a better understanding and grasp of it than you do.” 

Then there is the focus on the very serious part of the debate. The discussion of issues including the economy, abortion, contraception, and foreign policy. Reminding people, it was Trump who killed the immigration bill in Congress, telling energy billionaires if they raise him a billion dollars, in essence bribe him, they can “drill baby drill.” The president needs to speak to African Americans, Latinos, women, and the young. He needs to tell each of those groups what will happen if the six-year-old he is running against, were to become president again. 

Then he needs to look directly into the camera and say to the audience at home, “It isn’t only Trump you need to fear, it is the people he will surround himself with. His sycophants and cult, who will let him get revenge on anyone who says a word against him.” You can count on the fact it will be much worse than the last time around when he tried to stage a coup, because no decent person will work for him.

The first debate will take place 18 weeks before the Nov. 5 election. So much can change between then and the election. Remember when we talked about an October surprise? In today’s world there could be July, August, and September surprises as well. Between now and election day we will be treated to an overload of polling, most of it wrong. We will read hundreds of headlines, many of them clickbait. If you watch TV you will get to listen to hundreds of talking heads, many knowing no more than you. The difference being, they are being paid to spout off on the election, giving not facts, but their opinions. 

It seems every four years we hear this could be the most important, the most crucial, election of our lifetime. Well, this time those who say it just may be telling the truth. One candidate, convicted of 34 “Trumps,” is telling you he will be a dictator, and using Hitler’s words. He has the likes of Russ Voight advising him, and openly says he will seek revenge. Nothing could be more frightening. He is telling the young he doesn’t care about climate change, and telling the poor their programs will be cut because he will cut taxes for the rich.  

He calls our soldiers, those who sacrificed their lives and died in wars, “suckers and losers.” He called John McCain “a war hero because he was captured,” saying, “I like people who weren’t captured.” This frightening, sick man, with the world view of a warped six-year-old, will lead the United States if we aren’t willing to stand up to him, and his MAGA cult. Yes, I am afraid! And you should be too! If you are a woman, a minority, a member of the LGBTQ community, or just poor, be scared, be very afraid! If Trump and his cult win, you will lose what little you think you now have.

Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

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Why you should celebrate pride with a musical about GenderCannibalism?

Rose: You Are What You Eat, through June 23 at Woolly Mammoth.

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Photo courtesy of Woolly Mammoth.

Because when I came out as trans my aunt told me it was because I ate my twin in the womb…and that’s what the show is about

Because…remember that time when you decided to dress like exactly like your older sister; or you stole your mothers’ makeup or your brother’s tie; or you decided to dress up like Katherine Hepburn for halloween when you were (i dunno) 10; or you started to look eerily like your lover…..that’s all gender cannibalism

Because because because because because….” because if you know that song this was made for you…and if you don’t…it’s okay, we’ll work on it

Because you can probably find a cute date at the show irl instead of just swiping in your phone…think of theater as an in person dating app without as much drunkenness as the bar

Because maybe that cute date is me

Because you can sing along to music written by a bunch of queers from Philly and D.C. 

Because we are all so hungry and so so thirsty 

Because I guarantee you will leave feeling fed

Because cannibalism puns are tasty

Because it’s a comedy

Because there are pay-what-you-can tickets

Because it plays all of June

Because we are consuming gender all the time but rarely watching what and how we eat it 

Because it’s an anti-assimilationist endeavor: the corporations can’t co-opt “gender cannibalism” for pride month (but there is merchandise available at the show…)

Because it’s only 75 minutes

Because I dance around in tighty whities with socks on my hands

Because there is a free clothing swap and treats in the gallery next to the show

Because why not?

Because you will be cast as my Mother, and that’s the role of a lifetime (or at least my lifetime)

Because you won’t know what will happen; you can’t pause or rewind the show; you will be taking a risk; you will find it’s more than just entertainment; you will feel me talking right to you

Because I’ve been writing this show for 34 years and am finally ready to share it with you

Because I’ll be in the lobby afterwards to say hi, and receive hugs, stories, and phone numbers 

Because I made this piece for you, my dear deviants, trans folx, genderful ones and for the people that care for us. It is a good laugh and a good cry and meant as a gift, a way to end your day feeling loved, nourished and worthy

Because don’t you want to be nourished and reminded that you are loved and worthy? 

And frankly because art needs you to survive and you need art to thrive

Because I took the time to write this letter to you and you took the time to read it, and neither you nor I want to waste that investment

Because you won’t want to miss it

Get tickets to Rose: You Are What You Eat, playing through June 23rd.

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