November 6, 2015 at 1:57 pm EST | by Stephen Rutgers
Shame on the Mormon Church
Mormon, gay news, Washington Blade

Salt Lake Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah (Photo by Entheta; courtesy Wikimedia Commons)

Dear leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

In the next few days you will be receiving my official request to remove my name from your membership records. Today is the day I can no longer stand by and let you preach love and tolerance, while in the background destroying families and lives. Today is the day I will stand up to make sure that any LGBT youth or youth with LGBT parents know they don’t need you or the church. You almost took my life and my family, and this is where it stops.

Ever since I can remember, I knew that I was gay. While I didn’t grow up in what you would call a “traditional” Mormon family, I would attend church on the weekends with my Dad. I avoided what I could and made excuse after excuse for why I couldn’t go to church functions or even go on my mission. I lied for almost my entire life because I was taught that being gay is a sin. I was told if I thought this way that it was Satan trying to destroy my life and that these sins would keep me away from my “Heavenly Father.”

After coming out when I was 18, it destroyed my relationship with those closest to me. The church taught them I was a monster and that I had destroyed my life. In the winter of my freshman year of college I felt so alone and ashamed of myself that I walked out of my dorm ready to end my life. I didn’t see the point of living if my family was ashamed of how God made me. I am lucky a friend texted me or else I would have been a victim of the teachings of this church.

This week you released new “policies on ordinances for children of a parent living in a same-gender relationship.” In the addition to the official church handbook for your leaders, you have told them no child can be baptized into the church if their parents are members of the LGBT community and in a relationship. The only way for them to become members is:

“1. The child accepts and is committed to live the teachings and doctrine of the Church, and specially disavows the practice of same-gender cohabitation and marriage.”

“2. The child is of legal age and does not live with a parent who has lived or currently lives in a same-gender cohabitation relationship or marriage.”

All I have to say in response is how dare you? How dare you make a child choose you over their parents? How dare you say you are protecting families all the while tearing them apart?

I am happy to say I am happily married and now have a great relationship with some that were destroyed by the teaching of the church. It has taken almost 10 years, but my bond with my family has never been stronger. You should feel ashamed for your teachings that destroy families and lives. You should feel ashamed for almost destroying mine. These teachings are hateful, hurtful and have taken lives. Today is the day the Mormon Church has become nothing more than a hate group that teaches its members to destroy the lives of others.

Today is the day I let everyone know: Don’t let this church ruin you or your family because you or someone you know is gay. Don’t let their hate become your hate because it truly does get better.

Stephen Rutgers is marketing director for the Washington Blade. Reach him at

  • Well said.

  • D&C 84:54 And your minds in times past have been darkenedbecause of unbelief, and because you have treated lightlythe things you have received—

    55 Which vanity and unbelief have brought the whole church under condemnation.

    56 And this condemnation resteth upon the children of Zion, even all.

    This is why the LDS church is still under condemnation according to their own scriptures.

  • “But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”
    -Mathew 19:14

    • All are still encouraged to come unto Christ.

      • Bullshit. This video is nothing more than anti-gay hatred. That is not what Christ preached.

        • Christ preached that no unclean thing may enter his father’s house. Is that to be interpreted as anti-filth hatred? The belief in the “traditional” family unit as correct is in no ways hatred. I’m sorry you feel that way.

          • Yah, that wasn’t Jesus’ message at all. Don’t drag Jesus into your bigotry.

            “The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the
            streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’

            “‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’

            “Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full.

          • 2 Corinthians 6:
            17Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

            18And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

            There is a time and place to associate, to reach out to, and a time to stand apart. This is not bigotry. It’s letting people make their own decisions, and having yours take you in a different direction.

          • First of all, that wasn’t Jesus. That was Saint and Homophobe Paul the Misogynist.

            Paul never talks about Jesus. Only once does he ever call him by name. He doesn’t talk about Jesus’ Life, Jesus’ “ministry,” or even Jesus’ teachings.
            He focuses on one thing: the Isis/Osiris deity—the Hellenized CHRIST—that he created.

            But Paul also said other things that Christians ignore outright. First of all, Paul was very much anti-marriage:

            Now for the matters you wrote about. It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 1 Corinthians 1:1-2

            Paul also said that “Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors the head—it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off, and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her
            head. 1 Corinthians 11:4-6

            All though you probably agree with this misogynist: “Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the
            very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God. 1 Corinthians 11:15

            Christians ignore these commands and many more. Jesus would not be a Mormon. He was a Jew. He went to synagogue on the Sabbath, pork was an “abomination” to him.

            If you want to “stand apart,” copy people who really mattered—who really did good on the earth: Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Princess Diana, Nelson Mandela… JESUS!

            Stand apart like these people did, don’t stand apart because you’re a hateful bigot.

            The fact that you’re taking something that happens in nature, something that GOD created and calling it sin makes you a bigot, not a follower of Jesus.
            The fact that you use a book, and not facts, to justify your opinions makes you a bigot, not a follower of Jesus.
            The fact that you cherry-pick the bible so that it says what you want it to say, makes you a bigot, not a follower of Jesus.
            And Jesus had some very choice words for people like you:
            Serpents, brood of vipers, whitewashed sepulchers, hypocrites… he was talking to you, the Pharisee, not me, “the sinner.”

          • You’re accusing me of cherry picking, after you discredit and disregard an actual disciple and his writings. I love you as a person, but we aren’t going to progress any nearer together through discussion, so I only wish you the best. But disagreeing with somebody’s actions isn’t bigotry. There are people biologically inclined to all sorts of things. That doesn’t mean God made us to act as carnal creatures, but rather to learn to exert ourselves to do good.

          • I’m accusing you of Cherry-Picking because you’re using the bible to justify your bigotry. When you cherry-pick to get the answers you want, that’s a problem. You not only hate me, you hate my family, you hate my children… what you’re doing here through your church completely defies your statement. You know the old saying, “Actions speak louder than words?” Don’t tell me you love me and then deny me my right to exist as who I am. That’s not love. I suggest you rethink the word love and what it really means to you. Because I don’t think you have a full grasp on the meaning of “love.”

            If you “loved” me as a person, then you’d love the entire person. The fact that you take something that occurs in nature, and turn it into “sin,” shows me that you don’t love me.

            Sexuality is not “actions.” Sexuality is a huge aspect of who we ARE. The fact that you feel the need to vilify certain aspects of sexuality is somewhat stupid, but also ignorant and bigoted. The fact that you can’t distinguish between the two also makes you profoundly ignorant. And this is ignorance that you choose to hold onto. People all around you are trying to expose you to reality, and you are actively working against them so that you can hold on to your wrong and outdated ideals.

            We are sexual beings. Being sexual is not a sin. Enjoying sex is enjoying who we are.

          • Paul, Jesus, Corinthians, STOP! WHO CARES! This is vile and evil, purely and simply. The Mormon Church and all of the haters that use religion to justify inhumanity are the lowest form of human being. Shame on the Mormons. Shame on the haters. Spare us the religious fervor. We know who you are and we are revolted, shocked and disgusted, purely and simply.

          • Rodney, I would love to come back and discuss this with you once science proves that gays are born with an irrefutable drive to mate with a member of the same sex.
            Take the time to see just how common place homosexuality is throughout the animal kingdom.
            Take the time to actually get to know a same sex couple.
            You will eventually arrive at shame for your misguided bigoted views and be “cleansed” sufficient to enter God’s great and welcoming Kingdom.

          • Rodney, aren’t you making yourself unclean just by being on this site? Avoid even the appearance of evil! And remember to delete your browsing history!

      • Number one: Rodney, why the hell are you reading articles on The Washington Blade? Shouldn’t you be reading the Scriptures? I was LDS for 17 years, including a full-time missionary in Ecuador for 2 years and I’m a BYU graduate, and I KNOW you shouldn’t be lurking around on gay news web sites, tsk tsk!
        Elder Christofferson was “interviewed” by a subordinate: Michael Otterson, the Church’s public relation officer! Hardly an objective interview.
        For what it’s worth, Elder Christofferson’s gay Mormon brother, Tom, called the recent changes “dreary”.

  • God asks us to choose Him over others, even family in no uncertain terms. Christ laid this out in the two great commandments. 1)Love God 2)Love others. I’ve personally had to choose to move away from friends in lifestyle in order to follow Christ. I wouldn’t expect that just because it’s family things are suddenly excusable that weren’t before. How dare He? This policy merely delays the eventual conflict until an age of maturity. Imagine expecting an 8 year old to understand, and declare, that they believe their parents are living against God’s commandments?

    • Luke 14:1-6
      One Sabbath, when Jesus went to eat in the house of a prominent Pharisee, he was being carefully watched. There in front of him was a man suffering from abnormal swelling of his body. Jesus asked the Pharisees and experts in the law, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath or not?” But they remained silent. So taking hold of the man, he healed him and sent him on his way. Then he asked them, “If one of you has a child or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull it out?” And they had nothing to say.

      Here’s the irony of your comment. The Sabbath was the most sacred commandment at that time. The Sabbath is what made the Jews special, unique, part of God’s special plan. It was the only commandment that went all the way back to the creation of the Universe and to Humankind. What Jesus said was not a flippant thought. It had a profound implications and a frightening impact upon the lawyers and religious people there.

      So when Jesus “breaks” this commandment, it was no light thing. What Jesus did was break the bond between them and God. What Jesus said to them, was “people,” are more important than your relationship with God. The bottom line is that Jesus place LOVE even above God. Though I think it’s safe to say that he saw God even above Love.

      This man that you claim to follow was a radical. A radical SO radical that even God would be proud of him, though he wouldn’t totally agree with him all the time.

      This love that Jesus talked about – radical, brutal, intense, above all – that you use his name, and know so little about him is profoundly disturbing. And that you do it with such gusto. These are the very things that Jesus railed against.

      Again, WE’RE not Jesus’ enemies, you are. But you don’t see that because you don’t know Jesus. I would say “Get to know him, he’s awesome.”

    • Rodney, have you chosen today The Washington Blade over God?

  • I can hardly sit through watching this guy. There is no “context.” There is no truth in this religion, or most others for that matter. I am quite sure that he is very glad to be making a good living off the offerings of others, but I call BS on this.
    Frankly, anyone who continues in their religious beliefs despite the complete lack of any evidence is a fool.

  • Sounds like a church for stright people…they make it so easy if your stright. Lets face it if your gay they don’t want you. Too many problems. That in it self sounds sinful. Jesus never turned the sinful out. I don’t think he condemed them either. If he did they would have fled from him, but no they stuck around and loved him. Love is such an easy thing to do. Not so in our time.

  • for the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, … men will perish, and the understanding of their prudent men will be hidden.” THE SEALED PORTION of the Book of Mormon is here!

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