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‘Mommie Dearest’ actress shares diary
Carol Ann on Joan, Faye, Hollywood and the shoot from hell

Faye Dunaway, left, as Joan Crawford, and Rutanya Alda as Carol Ann on the set of ‘Mommie Dearest.’ (Photo courtesy Alda)
Editor’s note: This is part one of a two-part interview. Part two is here.
Actress Rutanya Alda was having a difficult time in early 1981. She was in the throes of the recurring drug habit her husband, Richard Bright, was battling and in Los Angeles spending many long hours filming “Mommie Dearest,” the Joan Crawford biopic that’s perhaps the biggest gay cult film of all time (one might make a credible case for “Valley of the Dolls” but that’s another discussion).
Though she’d made many films by that point (most notably 1978’s “The Deer Hunter” in which she played Angela), she says “Mommie” was an especially arduous shoot. To maintain her sanity, she kept a diary which she self-published this fall as “The Mommie Dearest Diary: Carol Ann Tells All.”
An hour-long phone interview from Alda’s New York City home was so far-ranging and candid, we’re publishing this in two parts. Look in next week’s edition for the conclusion. Her comments have been slightly edited for length. The book is available on Amazon.

Rutanya Alda, left, with Faye Dunaway, Mara Hobel and Jeremy Scott Reinholt in ‘Mommie Dearest.’ (Photo courtesy Alda)
WASHINGTON BLADE: You don’t mention any premiere for “Mommie Dearest” in the book. Was there one? When did you first see it?
RUTANYA ALDA: You’re right, there was no premiere which is really weird when I think back on it. It just opened in theaters in New York and I went and paid to see it just like everybody else.
BLADE: And what was your initial reaction?
ALDA: When the audience laughed, I was like, “Oh my gosh,” I was kind of taken aback because I knew (producer) Frank Yablans and (director) Frank Perry’s intention was to make this really serious drama and of course it turned into this kind of camp happening right from the get go. Even Paramount was caught off guard and they didn’t know how to promote it because it became such an audience experience right away. … I was actually quite pleased because the audience really got into it. It was just amazing to me.
BLADE: Had you always kept a diary?
ALDA: No, I’d never kept a diary before or since. This is my one and only diary.
BLADE: Why did you happen to keep one then?
ALDA: My personal life was in chaos because of Richard’s addiction problem and the set life was in chaos too because Faye Dunaway was causing a lot of stress, so between those two worlds, I just sort of had to survive it and my way of doing that was to journal it. That sort of gave me some balance. It made me feel better.
BLADE: You write that you were surprised at the camp angle when it came out but didn’t it seem like Faye Dunaway (Joan Crawford) was chewing the scenery during shooting? Or did it feel like she was just giving a really intense, bold performance?
ALDA: That’s a good question and I don’t know how to answer it. I know that Frank Perry lost control of the movie within the first week because as I also write in my book, when I did my first scene with little Christina and say that we should be more understanding that her mother has to do a screen test and this is very disgraceful for a star, when I finished that scene, Frank Perry had tears in his eyes. I was perplexed. He said, “No, this is the first honest piece of film we’ve had all week.” That sort of stunned me and I didn’t know what to say. They’d been shooting Faye for a week so that kind of gave me an inkling that he wasn’t getting what he wanted but there was nothing he could do about it. He was just overwhelmed and I think he was afraid of getting fired too. The stress level for him was very high as well as other people. You were dealing with a very unpredictable person and at the time, I think Faye was a huge star. … Frank Yablans had invested so much money on pre-production, the beautiful, just luscious sets and the great costumes by Irene Sharif that were custom made for Faye, they were just sumptuous and wonderful and I think they felt like they couldn’t replace Faye and it proved to be true. Early on, as I write, she held up production for a few days because she wanted Terry O’Neill, her boyfriend at the time, to get producer credit and I know (Yablans) was very upset about that. He was being squeezed. Frank Yablans was the former president of Paramount and not a small-time guy. I’m sure he wasn’t used to feeling sabotaged and he was upset about it. …. Faye’s performance was Faye’s performance. I know she’s going to probably say in her book that it’s going to be everybody’s else’s fault and we’re all the bad ones but I journaled it as it happened and she’s trying to remember it. Back in February, March, she asked me to come help her writer her book which was kind of a jaw-dropping moment for me because I hadn’t heard from this woman in 30 years and here she’s asking me to come help her write with her ghost writer because she can’t remember. And honestly, if I hadn’t journaled it, I wouldn’t have remembered the little details either. I would have kind of generally remembered it, but you know, I think it’s a fair book. It just sort of tells it as it happened observing the interactions with people on the set, their comments, what they said, working with these great people like the hairdresser, who had worked with Joan on many movies, and Charlie Schram, the makeup person who went back to Judy Garland and “The Wizard of Oz.” These people were all big people in their league in the industry so their reaction I thought was very interesting too.

Rutanya Alda today. (Photo courtesy Alda)
BLADE: As you write, several of them came out of retirement to do “Mommie Dearest.” If they admired Joan, as you say they had, why would they have come back for this character assassination?
ALDA: Yes, they all loved working with Joan so when somebody said, “Oh, Faye really channeled Joan,” I said, “No, no — if she had channeled Joan, she would have been polite to the crew.” Joan knew all their names, greeted them every morning, she was really gracious and kind, remembered their birthdays, gave thank-you notes, sent presents. This was her ball field so to speak. Often people who are that way at work, the tension and pressure sort of build up and they take it out on their wives, their kids, you know, the loved ones around them, because they have to relieve the pressure somewhere and I think in my mind, I suspect that’s what happened to Joan. She was under a lot of pressure, she was a huge star, she was losing her contract at MGM and I think she was under a lot of pressure and I think a lot of it is perspective. I read several books about her before we started the movie and you know, she grew up extremely poor, no clothes and the really pretty girls at her school made fun of her. I really identified with that because when I came to America wearing my one dress and having their girls dish me because I was always wearing the same dress … kids can be very hurtful at that age. … I’m sure in Joan’s eyes, she grew up with that poverty and struggle and she sees these kids in their Beverly Hills home and beautiful clothes being taken care of and, you know, she’s a disciplinarian. She was going to give them a good life, but they weren’t going to become spoiled brats. But it’s all relative. I’m sure from the kids’ point of view, maybe she was too strict and too punishing. … I look at my mother and I remember all the beatings, the belts, and I think, “Gosh, I would have loved to have lived in a beautiful house with beautiful clothes and just had a strict mother, that would have been great,” but again, it’s all relative and it’s such a personal experience growing up. No parents are perfect.
a&e features
Marc Shaiman reflects on musical success stories
In new memoir, Broadway composer talks ‘Fidler,’ ‘Wiz,’ and stalking Bette Midler
If you haven’t heard the name Marc Shaiman, you’ve most likely heard his music or lyrics in one of your favorite Broadway shows or movies released in the past 50 years. From composing the Broadway scores for Hairspray and Catch Me if You Can to most recently working on Only Murders in the Building, Hocus Pocus 2, and Mary Poppins Returns, the openly queer artist has had a versatile career — one that keeps him just an Oscar away from EGOT status.
The one thing the award-winning composer, lyricist, and writer credits with launching his successful career? Showing up, time and time again. Eventually, he lucked out in finding himself at the right place at the right time, meeting industry figures like Rob Reiner, Billy Crystal, and Bette Midler, who were immediately impressed with his musical instincts on the piano.
“Put my picture under the dictionary definition for being in the right place at the right time,” Shaiman says. “What I often try to say to students is, ‘Show up. Say yes to everything.’ Because you never know who is in the back of the theater that you had no idea was going to be there. Or even when you audition and don’t get the part. My book is an endless example of dreams coming true, and a lot of these came true just because I showed up. I raised my hand. I had the chutzpah!”
Recalling one example from his memoir, titled Never Mind the Happy: Showbiz Stories from a Sore Winner ( just hit bookshelves on Jan. 27), Shaiman says he heard Midler was only hiring Los Angeles-based artists for her world tour. At the young age of 20, the New York-based Shaiman took a chance and bought the cheapest flight he could find from JFK. Once landing in L.A., he called up Midler and simply asked: “Where’s rehearsal?”
“Would I do that nowadays? I don’t know,” Shaiman admits. “But when you’re young and you’re fearless … I was just obsessed, I guess you could say. Maybe I was a stalker! Luckily, I was a stalker who had the goods to be able to co-create with her and live up to my wanting to be around.”
On the occasion of Never Mind the Happy’s official release, the Bladehad the opportunity to chat with Shaiman about his decades-spanning career. He recalls the sexual freedom of his community theater days, the first time he heard someone gleefully yell profanities during a late screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and why the late Rob Reiner was instrumental to both his career and his lasting marriage to Louis Mirabal. This interview has been edited and condensed.
BLADE: Naturally, a good place to start would be your book, “Never Mind the Happy.” What prompted you to want to tell the story of your life at this point in your career?
SHAIMAN: I had a couple of years where, if there was an anniversary of a movie or a Broadway show I co-created, I’d write about it online. People were always saying to me, “Oh my God, you should write a book!” But I see them say that to everybody. Someone says, “Oh, today my kitten knocked over the tea kettle.” “You should write a book with these hysterical stories.” So I just took it with a grain of salt when people would say that to me. But then I was listening to Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast, and Jane Fonda was on talking about her memoir — not that I’m comparing myself to a career like Jane Fonda’s — but she felt it was time to take a life review. That really stuck in my head. At the time, I was sulking or moping about something that had not gone as well as I wished. And I guess I kind of thought, “Let me look back at all these things that I have done.” Because I have done a lot. I’m just weeks short of my 50th year in show business, despite how youthful I look! I just sat down and started writing before anyone asked, as far as an actual publisher.
I started writing as a way to try to remind myself of the joyous, wonderful things that have happened, and for me not to always be so caught up on what didn’t go right. I’ve been telling some of these stories over the years, and it was really fun to sit down and not just be at a dinner party telling a story. There’s something about the written word and really figuring out the best way to tell the story and how to get across a certain person’s voice. I really enjoyed the writing. It was the editing that was the hard part!
BLADE: You recall experiences that made you fall in love with the world of theater and music, from the days you would skip class to go see a show or work in regional productions. What was it like returning to those early memories?
SHAIMAN: Wonderful. My few years of doing community theater included productions that were all kids, and many productions with adults, where I was this freaky little 12-year-old who could play show business piano beyond my years. It was just bizarre! Every time a director would introduce me to another cast of adults, they’d be like, “Are you kidding?” I’d go to the piano, and I would sightread the overture to Funny Girl, and everybody said, “Oh, OK!” Those were just joyous, wonderful years, making the kind of friends that are literally still my friends. You’re discovering musical theatre, you’re discovering new friends who have the same likes and dreams, and discovering sex. Oh my god! I lost my virginity at the opening night of Jesus Christ Superstar, so I’m all for community theater!
BLADE: What do you recall from your early experiences watching Broadway shows? Did that open everything up for you?
SHAIMAN: I don’t remember seeing Fiddler on the Roof when I was a kid, but I remember being really enthralled with this one woman’s picture in the souvenir folio — the smile on her face as she’s looking up in the pictures or looking to her father for approval. I always remember zooming in on her and being fascinated by this woman’s face: turns out it was Bette Midler. So my love for Bette Midler began even before I heard her solo records.
Pippin and The Wiz were the first Broadway musicals I saw as a young teenager who had started working in community theater and really wanted to be a part of it. I still remember Pippin with Ben Vereen and all those hands. At the time, I thought getting a seat in the front row was really cool — I’ve learned since that it only hurts your neck, but I remember sitting in the front row at The Wiz as Stephanie Mills sang Home. Oh my god, I can still see it right now. And then I saw Bette Midler in concert, finally, after idolizing her and being a crazed fan who did nothing but listen to her records, dreaming that someday I’d get to play for her. And it all came true even before I turned 18 years old. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and met one of her backup singers and became their musical director. I was brought to a Bette Midler rehearsal. I still hadn’t even turned 18, she heard me play and said, “Stick around.” And I’ve stuck around close to 55 years! She’s going to interview me in L.A. at the Academy Museum. Would I have ever thought that Bette Midler would say yes to sitting with me, interviewing me about my life and career?
BLADE: That’s amazing. Has she had a chance to read the book yet?
SHAIMAN: She read it. We just talked yesterday, and she wants to ask the right questions at the event. And she even said to me, “Marc, I wasn’t even aware of all that you’ve done.” We’ve been great friends for all these years, but sometimes months or almost years go by where you’re not completely in touch.
a&e features
D.C. LGBTQ sports bar Pitchers listed for sale
Move follows months of challenges for local businesses in wake of Trump actions
A Santa Monica, Calif.-based commercial real estate company called Zacuto Group has released a 20-page online brochure announcing the sale of the D.C. LGBTQ sports bar Pitchers and its adjoining lesbian bar A League of Her Own.
The brochure does not disclose the sale price, and Pitchers owner David Perruzza told the Washington Blade he prefers to hold off on talking about his plans to sell the business at this time.
He said the sale price will be disclosed to “those who are interested.”
“Matthew Luchs and Matt Ambrose of the Zacuto Group have been selected to exclusively market for sale Pitchers D.C., located at 2317 18th Street, NW in Washington, D.C located in the vibrant and nightlife Adams Morgan neighborhood,” the sales brochure states.
“Since opening its doors in 2018, Pitchers has quickly become the largest and most prominent LGBTQ+ bar in Washington, D.C., serving as a cornerstone of D.C.’s modern queer nightlife scene,” it says, adding, “The 10,000+ SF building designed as a large-scale inclusive LGBTQ+ sports bar and social hub, offering a welcoming environment for the entire community.”
It points out that the Pitchers building, which has two years remaining on its lease and has a five-year renewal option, is a multi-level venue that features five bar areas, “indoor and outdoor seating, and multiple patios, creating a dynamic and flexible layout that supports a wide range of events and high customer volume.”
“Pitchers D.C. is also home to A League of Her Own, the only dedicated lesbian bar in Washington, D.C., further strengthening its role as a vital and inclusive community space at a time when such venues are increasingly rare nationwide,” the brochure says.
Zacuto Group sales agent Luchs, who serves as the company’s senior vice president, did not immediately respond to a phone message left by the Blade seeking further information, including the sale price.
News of Perruzza’s decision to sell Pitchers and A League of Her Own follows his Facebook postings last fall saying Pitchers, like other bars in D.C., was adversely impacted by the Trump administration’s deployment of National Guard soldiers on D.C. streets
In an Oct. 10 Facebook post, Perruzza said he was facing, “probably the worst economy I have seen in a while and everyone in D.C. is dealing with the Trump drama.” He told the Blade in a Nov. 10 interview that Pitchers continued to draw a large customer base, but patrons were not spending as much on drinks.
The Zacuto Group sales brochure says Pitchers currently provides a “rare combination of scale, multiple bars, inclusivity, and established reputation that provides a unique investment opportunity for any buyer seeking a long-term asset with a loyal and consistent customer base,” suggesting that, similar to other D.C. LGBTQ bars, business has returned to normal with less impact from the Trump related issues.
The sales brochure can be accessed here.
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Alexander Skarsgård describes ‘Pillion’ in 3 words: lube, sweat, leather
Highly anticipated film a refreshingly loving look at Dom-sub life
Whether you’ve seen him in popular HBO series like “True Blood,” “Succession,” or “Big Little Lies,” the dynamic Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgård has that smoldering gaze that immediately draws viewers in.
Following in the footsteps of his father Stellan, (who just won the Golden Globe for “Sentimental Value”) the Golden Globe, Emmy, and SAG winner Skarsgård continues to be an actor who is fearless in the roles he takes on.
That courageousness is evident in Skarsgård’s latest film, the BDSM black comedy “Pillion,”which he also executive produces. He plays Ray, the handsome, hyper-dominant leader of a gay bike gang. The film was written and directed by Harry Lighton, and is based on the 2020 novel “Box Hill,” by Adam Mars-Jones.
“This was a small film by a first time filmmaker and it wasn’t financed when I read it,” Skarsgård told journalists at a recent awards news conference. “And I felt that, if I could help in any small way of getting it financed, I wanted to, because I thought it was such an incredible screenplay and I believe in Harry Lighton so much as a filmmaker. And it felt tonally unlike anything I’d ever read. It was such an exciting, surprising read.”
Skarsgård was blown away by the quality of the unconventional script. “When I heard BDSM relationship, biker culture, I expected something very different. I didn’t expect it to have so much sweetness and tenderness and awkwardness.”
For the sex scenes and nudity with co-star, Harry Melling — who excels in his portrayal as Ray’s submissive Colin — Skarsgård talked very early on with Lighton about how he wanted to shoot those scenes, and why they were in the film.
“I often find sex scenes quite boring in movies because a lot of the tension is in the drama leading up to two people hooking up, or several people hooking up, as in our movie. But what I really enjoyed about these scenes — they are all pivotal moments in Colin’s journey and his development. It’s the first time he gets a blowjob. It’s the first time he has sex. It’s the first time he has an orgasm. And these are pivotal moments for him, so they mean a lot. And that made those scenes impactful and important.”
Skarsgård was happy that Lighton’s script didn’t have gratuitous scenes that shock for the sake of just shocking. “I really appreciated that because I find that when this subculture is portrayed, it’s often dangerous and crazy and wild and something like transgressive.”
He continued: “I really love that Harry wanted it to feel real. It can be sexy and intense, but also quite loving and sweet. And you can have an orgy in the woods, rub up against a Sunday roast with the family. And that kind of feels real.”
One of the obstacles Skarsgård had to work with was Ray’s emotionally distant personality.
“Ray is so enigmatic throughout the film and you obviously never find out anything about him, his past. He doesn’t reveal much. He doesn’t expose himself. And that was a challenge to try to make the character interesting, because that could easily feel quite flat…That was something that I thought quite a lot about in pre production…there are no big dramatic shifts in his arc.”
For the film, Lighton consulted the GMBCC, the UK’s largest LGBT+ biker club, attending their annual meetup at which 80 riders were present.
“Working with these guys was extraordinary and it brought so much texture and richness to the film to have them present,” said Skarsgård. “They were incredibly sweet and guiding with us — I can’t imagine making this movie without them. I’d go on a road trip with them anytime.”
Added Skarsgård: “To sum up ‘Pillion’ in three words: lube, sweat, and leather. I hope people will connect with Colin and his journey, and come to understand the nuance and complexity of his bond with Ray.”
This year is shaping up to be a busy one for Skarsgård. “Pillion” premieres in select cities on Feb. 6 and then moves into wide release on Feb. 20. After that for Skarsgård is a role in queer ally Charli XCX’s mockumentary, “The Moment,” which premieres at the Sundance Film Festival. HIs sci-fi comedy series, Apple TV’s “Murderbot,” which he also executive produces, will begin filming its second season. And this weekend, he hosts “Saturday Night Live.”
