Hi Michael,

I’m in a relationship I think I don’t want to be in.

Ed is very sweet and that’s part of the problem. He is always solicitous of me, caring, kind, agreeable. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, which I certainly would do if I dump him.

We’ve gotten into what is now a serious relationship because of him, not me.  He kept asking me out on one date after another, and I kept saying yes.  He proposed being exclusive, and I said yes.  

I was lonely, Ed’s cute and a nice guy, and it felt good to be cared about. 

Ed is great at planning a fun life. Dinners, vacations, socializing. My life is way more exciting than it used to be.  Ed takes the initiative on everything and he’s very good at it.

But I feel smothered, like I don’t have a say in how I live and what I do. We spend all our time together. And my friends are now “our” friends because he always joins me when I get together with them.

I can’t talk about this with him because I don’t think he can handle it. If he sees the least sign of me being upset, he says, “What’s wrong? Are you mad at me?” with this vulnerable tone in his voice. He’s told me he’s afraid of losing me when I’ve shown any unhappiness. 

I’m no longer attracted to him. I don’t know why, he’s as cute as ever.

Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. I have a good-looking, caring boyfriend. So many guys want this. I should be happy. But I’m not.

On the other hand, I’m afraid that if I break up with Ed I will be lonely all over again and maybe never find such a caring person.

Any guidance you have would be appreciated in how to think about this and sort it out.

Michael replies:

This relationship is giving you all sorts of opportunities to become a more solid person.

First point to consider: If you can’t set boundaries, you will spend your life twisting yourself into a pretzel to accommodate others. That’s what is happening now with Ed. 

When we are struggling to succeed at an important life skill, as you are here, it’s helpful to think how our personal history may be contributing to our being stuck.

Some possibilities for you to consider: What example did your parents model? Perhaps they had trouble setting boundaries in their relationships, so you didn’t learn how to do so. Or perhaps when you were growing up, you didn’t have much say about what you could or couldn’t do, so you didn’t learn you could speak up about what is important to you. 

I’m painting with a broad brush here, just to inspire your own thinking. While our lives aren’t rigidly determined by our pasts, the ways that we learned to relate as we grew up do have a powerful influence on how we live in the present. Having some sense of what has shaped our operating system can help us loosen up and try new ways of behaving.

Second (and related) point: You cannot go through life without ever disappointing anyone or you will (as noted above) start to resemble a pretzel. Yes, you’ll likely upset Ed when you tell him that you’re unhappy in the relationship. But if Ed is going to address his clingy and needy behavior, he needs to hear this.  

At their best, relationships challenge us to grow. This relationship is pushing you to tolerate disappointing someone you care about, in the service of saying what you need to say. And guess what? Your letting Ed know where you stand will challenge him to work on his own relational wobbliness. Very cool.

Third point: Why are you not stepping forward with your own ideas about what you want to do and how you want to live? You are letting Ed do all the work. What is up with that?

One obvious explanation: Your difficulty setting a boundary is stopping you from asserting what you want. In other words, your inability to say “no” is leading you to feel stifled in this relationship. Good news: you have the power to change this.

Another possibility: Maybe you don’t actually have much in the way of interests or ideas for what you would like to do, and Ed is merely filling the void so that the two of you have some kind of life together.

If so, I encourage you to start thinking about what is meaningful to you. Developing a self—figuring out what is important to you, what you care about—is one of the great tasks and great joys of being alive. If you just keep doing what others around you want—boyfriends, friends, family—you may keep feeling resentful and will squander your life.

I don’t know if you would actually enjoy being with Ed if you do the work to become a solid person who speaks up about what is important and brings his own agenda to the relationship. While it’s your decision to do so or not, I urge you not to decide based on fear of stepping outside your comfort zone. 

And please consider that this work would help you in any future relationship, if you end things with Ed.

One more point: It’s no surprise that you’ve lost interest in having sex with Ed. Being enmeshed with someone as tightly as you describe your fusion with Ed is a desire-killer.  Perhaps this would change if you give yourself some room to breathe.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

Do you have a schedule for routine inspections of your rental property? And are you feeling good about your schedule’s frequency? I hope you do. These inspections are one of the best ways to protect your investment property. 

Understanding the importance of these inspections isn’t just good practice—it’s essential for the longevity and profitability of your rental property. When you inspect regularly, you reduce the number of maintenance emergencies during the year that you must respond to. Tenant satisfaction is also higher, leading to better retention and less vacancy and turnover.  And lastly, keeping track of maintenance needs at the property creates more value and asset appreciation over time.

Why Are Routine Inspections Crucial? 

The short answer is simple—protection. By keeping a close eye on your property, you’ll catch small problems before they escalate into expensive nightmares. Let’s take a look at some data that proves what you probably know instictively: regular inspections prevents costly repairs, ensures tenant satisfaction, and improves the overall return on your investment (ROI). 

Here’s why landlords and property managers should make inspections a top priority, especially in a market as competitive and expensive as the D.C. metro area:

• Preventive Maintenance helps to reduce repair costs 
• Tenant Retention because they see you maintaining a safe and comfortable rental 
• Compliance with Regulations will severely reduce liability and can avoid fines or lawsuits 
• Preserving Asset Value will help create long-term growth in the value of your property
• Data-Driven Proof That Routine Inspections are Critical

I’ve been managing rental properties for many years, and I feel I understand on a professional and a personal level the value of good inspections. Investors who dive into the data and the details will see why I take these inspections seriously.

Fewer Emergency Repairs 

The cost of emergency repairs can quickly erode your rental income. According to a recent study by the National Association of Residential Property Managers (NARPM), landlords who conducted routine inspections spent 40% less on emergency repairs compared to those who didn’t. Don’t wait for the hot summer or the cold winter to arrive before you check out your HVAC system. Routine inspections will reduce the number of urgent tenant calls due to equipment breakdowns. 

Higher Tenant Satisfaction 

Inspections don’t just reveal damages—they create trust with your tenants. Surveys by Appfolio show that 82% of satisfied tenants were more likely to praise their landlords or property managers for timely maintenance request action. 77% of satisfied tenants appreciate the communication around how the repairs are progressing. Tenants will renew their lease if they feel their property is well-maintained. Consistent inspections communicate that you’re serious about providing a safe and comfortable home, reducing vacancy rates and saving the property owner big money by avoiding charges to find new tenants, not to mention other turnover costs.

Protecting Your Investment with Inspections 

Not all inspections are the same. Staggering different types of inspections throughout the lease term ensures comprehensive oversight. The age and condition of your property will dictate how often you need to inspect. Your tenant relationship will also tell you whether it is important to physically visit a rental more frequently or just once a year during the lease term. Here are the inspection types I always encourage:

Move-In/Move-Out Inspections  

These inspections allow you to document the property’s condition at the start and end of a lease using a detailed checklist and photos. This sets clear expectations and minimizes disputes over security deposits.

Routine Inspections  

Conduct regular checks (e.g., every six months) to review the overall condition of your property and ensure tenants are complying with the lease. Provide plenty of notice and make sure you include the necessity of these inspections in your lease agreement.  And be sure to document through photos and written communications any damage, wear and tear above normal or other issues that need to be corrected.

Drive-By Inspections  

Sometimes, a quick external review can tell you a lot about your property’s condition—things like landscaping, visible damage, or unauthorized vehicles. If you happen to be in the neighborhood, why not drive by the property just to be sure everything looks the way it should?

Emergency Inspections  

If there’s a reported issue, such as plumbing leaks or electrical problems, an emergency inspection may be necessary to assess the damage and carry out repairs promptly. When a tenant reports a major appliance is no longer working or a door won’t lock properly, you’ll need to see personally what’s going on.

Routine Inspections Protect Investors

A small leak under the sink might seem insignificant now, but over time, it could result in mold growth, water damage, and hefty repair bills. Rental property owners who perform quarterly or semi-annual inspections identify these minor issues early—saving themselves, on average, hundreds of dollars per event, according to Angie’s List averages.

Routine inspections offer a chance to communicate directly with tenants, discussing how the property is functioning for them. Tenants who feel heard are more likely to report minor issues—a win for both parties. You want your tenants reporting problems right away so that there’s less deferred work to worry about. 

Inspections also ensure you’re compliant with local laws regarding habitability and safety standards. Skipping this step can lead to fines or disagreements that lower tenant satisfaction. 

Professional Property Management Makes a Difference 

I like my property managers to prioritize comprehensive, detail-rich inspections when managing a property. I believe our detailed approach and the industry leading methods we employ for conducting inspections at our client’s properties is a step above what an owner could do on their own.  

A lot of landlords and self-managing owners have an idea of what they should be monitoring. Many casual landlords and property owners do not think to conduct regular inspections or know what to look for. In fact, a lot of other property management companies don’t, either. The difference is the experience managing many residential dwellings here in D.C. and the knowledge that comes from doing this work every day for over a decade.

In today’s article, I’ve covered only routine and regular evaluations of the property condition both inside and outside, how the tenants are taking care of the rental, and whether they are abiding by the provisions of their rental agreement. An important note to remember: don’t confuse these surveys by the property manager with a home inspection, which can only be conducted by a licensed home inspection professional.

Scott Bloom is owner and senior property manager of Columbia Property Management. For more information and resources, go to ColumbiaPM.com.

In 2025, tile is emerging as a pivotal element in interior design. No longer just traditional ceramic or porcelain, today’s tiles offer a unique blend of functionality and artistry, making them a favorite among homeowners and designers alike. This year, several tile trends are making significant waves, each bringing a distinct character to modern homes.

1. Textured Tiles. Texture plays a crucial role in adding depth and tactile beauty to spaces. In 2025, there’s a noticeable shift toward tiles that celebrate imperfection and handcrafted beauty. These tiles often feature organic finishes, subtle color variations, and unique patterns that make each piece distinct. 

2. Warm Minimalist Colors. While minimalism is still popular, 2025 brings a warmer palette to this aesthetic. Neutral tones like beige, taupe, soft terracotta, and Pantone’s mocha mousse are replacing the cooler grays and whites of previous years. These colors impart a sense of coziness and serenity, making spaces feel more inviting while maintaining the clean lines and simplicity of minimalism.

3. Tile Drenching. Tile drenching involves extending the same tile from the floor up the walls, creating a seamless, cohesive look. This technique is particularly effective in smaller spaces like bathrooms or as backsplashes in kitchens with open shelving instead of upper cabinets, where it can make the area appear larger and more unified. 

4. Sustainable and Eco-Friendly Tiles. Environmental consciousness is increasingly influencing consumer choices, leading to a rise in sustainable tile options. Manufacturers are now offering tiles made from recycled materials using low-impact production processes and eco-friendly substances, such as glass and plastic. These tiles not only decrease environmental footprints but also align with reducing waste and conserving resources. 

5. Large-Format Tiles. Large-format tiles (think 24” x 48”) are gaining traction due to their ability to create a seamless and expansive look. Fewer grout lines result in a cleaner appearance and easier maintenance, making spaces feel more open and less cluttered. These tiles are particularly favored in showers, where simplicity and continuity are desired, and yesterday’s plastic surrounds are rejected. Available in various materials and finishes, large-format tiles offer versatility, a sleek look, and faster installation. 

6. Cement Tiles. Cement tiles are celebrated for their bold patterns, vibrant colors, and artisanal charm. Although they require sealing, they are known for their durability and handcrafted look. Unlike ceramic tiles, cement tiles are not fired; instead, they are cured at room temperature, which makes them more environmentally friendly. Their unique patterns can make a statement in any room, serving as a focal point that brings a touch of vintage elegance or contemporary flair, depending on the chosen motif.

7. Terracotta Tiles. Terracotta tiles are making a stylish comeback, bringing warmth, a rustic look, and a touch of Mediterranean elegance to modern interiors. Made from clay and fired at low temperatures, these tiles boast an earthy, organic appeal that supports the ongoing trend of incorporating natural elements in the home. When properly sealed, they are resistant to stains and moisture, and their ability to age gracefully and develop a patina over time adds character and depth, giving spaces a cozy feel.

8. Peel and Stick Tiles. Peel and stick tiles are gaining popularity as a versatile and budget-friendly option for quick home makeovers. Perfect for renters and DIY enthusiasts, these tiles offer a hassle-free installation process that requires no grout, mortar, or professional help. You simply peel off the adhesive backing and stick them onto a clean, smooth surface—rendering them ideal for backsplashes, accent walls, and even flooring. They are low-maintenance, easy to clean, and a practical choice for kitchens and bathrooms. 

9. Tile Stickers. Tile stickers are a fun and cost-effective trend, offering an easy way to update your tiles without the need for a complete renovation. Meant to be applied directly over existing tiles, these often removable, adhesive decals are perfect for renters or homeowners looking for a temporary method of personalization. Heat-resistant, waterproof, and easy to clean, tile stickers are available in a wide variety of colors, patterns, and finishes, allowing for endless customization. 

10. Smart Tiles. As smart home technology advances, Smart Tiles are now incorporating technological features seamlessly. Innovations include pressure-sensitive LED lighting, temperature control of heated floors, and interaction with home automation systems. Look for future advancements that will allow for both convenience and comfort, enabling homeowners to integrate modern technology without compromising on style. 

So, whether you’re renovating a single room, designing an entire home, or decorating with your landlord in mind, these 2025 trends offer many options to create spaces that resonate with your personal style and reflect a harmonious blend of aesthetics, functionality, and sustainability.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.