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Hungarian rhapsody

Family secrets unearthed in touching memoir

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ā€˜In the Darkroomā€™Ā 
By Susan Faludi
Metropolitan Books
$32
432 pages

Author Susan Faludi (Photos courtesy Metropolitan Books)

Author Susan Faludi (Photos courtesy Metropolitan Books)

Your father taught you how to take a decent picture.

He taught you how to tie a tie, too. Because of him, you know how to create a good meal out of almost nothing, how to keep a car running and how to avoid being a jerk. You know a lot of things, thanks to the old man, but in the new book ā€œIn the Darkroomā€ by Susan Faludi, Dad doesnā€™t show you everything.

On and off through most of her 40-some years, Susan Faludi had been estranged from her father. Even when he was in the picture, she was wary of him, a ā€œhousehold despot,ā€ with a hair-trigger temper and a penchant for violence.

She knew him, but not deeply, so when she heard from her father for the first time ā€œin years,ā€ it was a surprise.

So was the message: her father had become a woman.

He was born in Hungary in 1927, a pampered son of well-to-do Jews who sent him away as a child for reasons Faludi could only surmise. Heā€™d come of age during the Nazi occupation and, according to stories, had survived through wits and bravery and had saved several lives. Because of her fatherā€™s reticence and tendency to embellish, though, Faludi never knew if those stories told were true.

In September, 2004, she boarded a plane to Hungary to meet her father, to learn who she really was and to fill in the blanks about her.

It was a prickly endeavor: never one to be forthcoming about her history, Faludiā€™s father dismissed most questions, refusing to discuss them and was reluctant to show Faludi any Budapest locales with familial significance. Father and daughter argued, Faludi gently prodded, her father pushed back, and she eventually gave Faludi names and places, important (sometimes falsified) documents, but scant insight.

For many reasons, Faludi learned, her father was a damaged soul. Sheā€™d been abandoned, misunderstood, terrorized ā€” or had she been? Was Faludiā€™s father a victim of all sheā€™d endured or was she ā€œan extremely effective liar?ā€

On the surface, ā€œIn the Darkroomā€ is a bit of a struggle to read.

Itā€™s quite wordy, first of all, and filled with place names that may not mean much to readers whoā€™ve never been to Hungary. I gave up trying to make sense of locales, but thereā€™s no ignoring author Susan Faludiā€™s recreation of her fatherā€™s Hungarian accent. Itā€™s everywhere in the text here and not so charming after a few dozen pages.

And yet, what Faludi finds, what her father admits, feels like a noir whodunit with a different kind of victim. Thereā€™s intrigue here, derring-do, a deep mystery that still seems unsolved and a protagonist whoā€™s ultimately worthy of surprising sympathy.

That ā€” the psychological heart of this book ā€” arrives like a strobe in a photography studio, flash-flash-flash with the overall picture remaining tantalizingly fuzzy. In the end, I found that irresistible tease was worth overlooking the irritations, so go ahead. Start ā€œIn the Darkroom,ā€ try this story. See what develops.

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Thom Gunn bio explores joys, complexities of modern gay life

ā€˜A Cool Queer Lifeā€™ presents authorā€™s humanity, poetic genius

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(Book cover image via Amazon)

ā€˜Thom Gunn: A Cool Queer Lifeā€™
By Michael Nott
c.2024, Farrar, Straus and Giroux
$40/720 pages

A confession: Until reading ā€œThom Gunn: A Cool Queer Life,ā€ I hadnā€™t known much about the accomplished, controversial gay poetā€™s life or read many of his poems. But this first biography makes me feel like I know him and his large body of work intimately. Michael Nott, coeditor of ā€œThe Letters of Thom Gunn,ā€ draws on interviews with friends and family, as well as Gunnā€™s letters, notebooks, and diaries, to tell the triumphs and tragedies of his life.

Born in England in 1929 to journalist parents, when he was 15, he and his younger brother Ander found their mother dead from suicide. He would not discuss this tragic event in his poetry for years, including one of his last poems ā€œMy Motherā€™s Pride.ā€ He published his first book of poems, ā€œFighting Terms,ā€ while still an undergraduate at Cambridge University.

At Cambridge, Gunn met his life-long partner, Mike Kitay, an American studying theater. Gunn followed Kitay to America, studying poetry under Yvor Winters at Stanford University. At one point, Kitay, doing his military service, was investigated as part of suspicion of homosexuality among his unit. Gunn wrote to friends of his worry both of what might happen to Kitay as well as to himself. While nothing happened, the event reminds us of the precarious state in which gay men lived until recently.

Eventually, they settled in San Francisco, which Gunn loved. Even when he became worldwide famous, he enjoyed the anonymity of the cityā€™s gay bars, where he could pick up men. He taught at UC Berkeley for 40 years, one term every year so he could concentrate on his poetry. His and Kitayā€™s home was filled with friends and sex partners, usually of Gunn. This arrangement seems common for many gay men of the time, reminiscent of Dan Savageā€™s idea of ā€œmonogamish,ā€ where committed gay couples might have other side partners.

In San Francisco, Gunn discovered leather and drugs, both of which he took to readily. He caused a stir by appearing in his British publisherā€™s conservative club in leather gear. Toward the end of his life, he became a crystal meth addict, frequently using with other addicts whom he also slept with. In 2004, his housemates found him dead from substance abuse.

He explored leather, drugs, and gay sexuality frequently in his poems. His collection ā€œMolyā€ (named after the drug in The Odyssey protecting from the witch Circeā€™s magic), looked at the appeal and downfall of drugs. The Man with Night Sweats, perhaps his most famous collection, dealt with the AIDS epidemic, the painful death of so many friends and lovers. He won the MacArthur Foundation ā€œGeniusā€ grant afterwards.

The biography presents Gunn in all his humanity, from his poetic genius to his insecurities. After each book came out, he struggled with writerā€™s block, which led to hookups and drug use. As he aged, he worried about finding ā€œgerontophilesā€ who would sleep with him. I hope this book encourages readers to discover or revisit his work, filled with the joys and complexities of modern gay life.

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A rabid fan’s look at the best and worst of queer TV

ā€˜Rainbow Age of Televisionā€™ a must-read for viewers

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(Photo courtesy of Abrams Press)

ā€˜The Rainbow Age of Television: An Opinionated History of Queer TVā€™
By Shayna Maci Warner
c.2024, Abrams Press
$28/304 pages

Wanna hand over the clicker?

You don’t want to miss the season premiere of that show you binge-watched over the summer. You’re invested, a fan who can’t wait to see what happens next. You heard that this may be the last season and you’ll be sad, if that’s so. Is it time to start looking for another, newer obsession or will you want to read “The Rainbow Age of Television” by Shayna Maci Warner, and find something old?

Like most kids of the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, Shayna Maci Warner spent lots of time glued to a television screen, devouring programming before school, after school, and all summer long. For Warner, that programming eventually led to a revelation. They saw people that looked like them, for which they formed “a personal attachment.”

It was “life-changing.”

It didn’t happen all at once, and some of TV’s “milestones” are forever lost, since broadcasts were live until the 1950s. Shortly after shows were taped and preserved, homosexuality became a “source of worry and blunt fascination” but certain performers carefully presented gently risquĆ© characters and dialogue that nudged and winked at viewers.

Some queer representation appeared in the 1960s, but it wasn’t until the 1970s when dramas began to feature more gay and lesbian characters, however subtly. It took a while for “the ‘rest’ of the alphabet” to be represented in a meaningful way and ā€“ despite that ā€œStar Trekā€ and its many versions included gender-diverse characters ā€“ it wasn’t until 1996 that an intersex infant was featured on a regular television drama.

Since Ellen DeGeneres came out practically on her namesake TV show and ā€œWill & Graceā€ became a wild hit, queer representation on TV has ceased to be an unusual thing. And yet, programmers and writers know that caution is still warranted: sometimes, “there can still be hesitation around pushing the envelope and fear that a queer character who burns too brightly just won’t last.”

Quick: name three after-school TV shows that aired when you were in fourth grade. If you can’t do it, one thing’s for certain: you need “The Rainbow Age of Television.”

But get ready for some argument. Author Shayna Maci Warner offers a rabid fan’s look at the best and the worst queer representation had to offer, and you may beg to differ with what they say about various programs. That makes this book a critique, of sorts, but Warner offers plenty of wiggle-room for argument.

Tussling over the finer points of queer programming, though, is only half the fun of reading this book. Microwave a box of pizza snacks or mac-and-cheese, demand “your” sofa seat, and dive into the nostalgia of old TV shows, most of them from the later last century. Yep, your faves are here. It’s like having an oldies channel on paper, and in your hand.

This is a must-have for former kids and current TV addicts who are happy to see themselves represented on TV. If that’s you, who brought the chips? “The Rainbow Age of Television” will just click.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

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Books

Author rails against racism and desire, politics, loss

ā€˜Rageā€™ explores being ā€˜Queer, Black, Brilliantā€™

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“Rage: On Being Queer, Black, Brilliant… and Completely Over It”
By Lester Fabian Brathwaite
c.2024, Tiny Reparations Books
$28/288 pages

Somewhere up in the clouds.

That’s where your blood pressure is, right there as high as it’s ever been. Hoo, boy, are you angry. Your teeth are clenched, your eyes are slits, and you can’t trust yourself to speak in more than a growl. You’re plenty steamed and, as in the new book “Rage” by Lester Fabian Brathwaite, it shouldn’t have to be this way.

When he came with his family to America from Guyana at just four years old, Brathwaite couldn’t believe what his new home country offered. Malls, new kinds of food, cable television? Shirtless white men on TV and in magazines? Yes, please!

He’s always had crushes on white men, but he loves being a gay Black man ā€“ even though racism, overt and subtle, can be an aggravation. When Brathwaite is on a dating app, white men sometimes dismiss him with a racial comment. He’s heard and seen the “n-word” more than once and he doesn’t tolerate it. Wouldn’t a greeting and a no thanks be less rude?

He is bothered by unnecessary meanness.

He is bothered in a different way by bodybuilding. Hot, muscular bodies, to be exact and he’s sure that whoever created the sport was a genius. Brathwaite participates in bodybuilding himself sometimes ā€“ it’s expensive and he does it for himself, not for other men ā€“ though he believes that gay men are bodybuilding’s biggest subset. For sure, he’s payed homage to his share of bodybuilders, superheroes in movies, and hot shirtless boys on TV.

There were many times, years ago, that Brathwaite ended up drunk and in a stranger’s bed or looking for an old hook-up, and he was arrested once. Nearing 30, though, he realized that that life wasn’t what he wanted anymore. His knees couldn’t take it. Besides, he liked who he was and he liked his blackness. He realized that he didn’t need anyone else to be a hero of his tale. He could do it better himself.

One thing’s for certain: “Rage” lives up to its title.

At times, author Lester Fabian Brathwaite rails against so many things: racism and desire, club society, being a writer and editor, the generational differences between gay men, politics, and loss. At other times, he’s outRAGEous and hilarious, writing to readers as though he’s holding court in a cafe somewhere and you’d better listen up.

You should know that that means honesty ā€“ poking in the corners, calling things out for what they are, chastising people who need schooling on how to behave in a way that doesn’t leave room for nonsense. This arrives unabashed and raw, accompanied by plenty of profanity.

You’ve been warned.

And yet, Brathwaite’s candor and his blunt talk is fresh and different. This gay man doesn’t pussy-foot around, and getting his opinions without fluff feels good and right. Readers will appreciate that, and they might come away educated.

Generally speaking, this ain’t your Grandma’s book, unless Grandma likes real talk laced with profanity. If that’s so, then get “Rage.” You’ll both be mad for it.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

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