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Sean Hayes says his mother wanted him to go to therapy when he came out

the ‘Will & Grace’ star shared that he opened up about his sexuality when he was 18

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(Screenshot via YouTube)

Sean Hayes is known for playing out and proud Jack McFarland on the hit sitcom “Will & Grace” but his real-life journey to being out was a difficult one.

Hayes, 47, told People that when he was younger he kept his sexuality a secret from his family as he started to understand it.

“I kept it hidden, the fact that I was in high school plays, from my brothers and my family because this is 1986, being gay then was different,” Hayes says. “I kind of knew I was, but not quite yet. I associated, like society taught me, that theater was for gays, and it was for sissies, and things like that. Things that you were taught to be ashamed of.”

At 18 years old, Hayes worked up the courage to tell his mother over Thanksgiving weekend.

“My mom said I needed to go see a therapist. She wrote me a 10-page letter, both sides on legal pad size paper. ‘This is not what God …’ You know, the whole uneducated view of it,” Hayes says.

Eventually, his mother started to accept Hayes’ identity and supported her son.

“She became educated and had friends who [were] gay people,” Hayes says. “She was like, ‘Oh I see. You’re just like me,’ and all that. It became fine and wonderful, and then she became so supportive and awesome,” Haynes says.

The actor went on that coming out today is easier than it used to be with more gay representation in the media.

“If you don’t have the words to explain it to your family, you can say, ‘Like ‘Will & Grace,’ or ‘Like Ellen DeGeneres,’ or whosoever out in a public. There’s so many more examples now to help people and give them tools to communicate to kids and their families that being gay is a normal as being straight. There’s no difference,” Hayes says.

Hayes made first public mention of his sexuality in 2010. He married his husband, composer Scott Icenogle, in 2014.

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PHOTOS: Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2026

Gage Ryder wins annual competition

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Gage Ryder, center, wins the title of Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather 2026 in a competition at the Hyatt Regency Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. on Sunday, Jan. 18. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The 2026 Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather competition was held at the Hyatt Regency Capitol Hill on Sunday. Seven contestants vied for the title and Gage Ryder was named the winner.

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

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Theater

Voiceless ‘Antony & Cleopatra’ a spectacle of operatic proportions

Synetic production pulls audience into grips of doomed lovers’ passion

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Stella Bunch as Mardian and Irina Kavsadze as Cleopatra in Synetic Theatre's ‘Antony & Cleopatra.’ (Photo by Katerina Kato)

‘Antony & Cleopatra’
Through Jan. 25
Synetic Theater at
Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Klein Theatre
450 7th St., N.W.
Synetictheater.org

A spectacle of operatic proportions, Synetic Theater’s “Antony & Cleopatra” is performed entirely voiceless. An adaptation of the Bard’s original (a play bursting with wordplay, metaphors, and poetic language), the celebrated company’s production doesn’t flinch before the challenge. 

Staged by Paata Tsikurishvili and choreographed by Irina Tsikurishvili, this worthy remount is currently playing at Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Klein Theatre, the same venue where it premiered 10 years ago. Much is changed, including players, but the usual inimitable Synectic energy and ingenuity remain intact.  

As audiences file into the Klein, they’re met with a monumental pyramid bathed in mist on a dimly lit stage. As the lights rise, the struggle kicks off: Cleopatra (Irina Kavsadze) and brother Ptolemy (Natan-Maël Gray) are each vying for the crown of Egypt. Alas, he wins and she’s banished from Alexandria along with her ethereal black-clad sidekick Mardian (Stella Bunch); but as history tells us, Cleopatra soon makes a triumphant return rolled in a carpet.  

Meanwhile, in the increasingly dangerous Rome, Caesar (memorably played by Tony Amante) is assassinated by a group of senators. Here, his legendary Ides of March murder is rather elegantly achieved by silver masked politicians, leaving the epic storytelling to focus on the titular lovers. 

The fabled couple is intense. As the Roman general Antony, Vato Tsikurishvili comes across as equal parts warrior, careerist, and beguiled lover. And despite a dose of earthiness, it’s clear that Kavsadze’s Cleopatra was born to be queen.

Phil Charlwood’s scenic design along with Colin K. Bills’ lighting cleverly morph the huge pyramidic structure into the throne of Egypt, the Roman Senate, and most astonishingly as a battle galley crashing across the seas with Tsikurishvili’s Antony ferociously at the helm.

There are some less subtle suggestions of location and empire building in the form of outsized cardboard puzzle pieces depicting the Mediterranean and a royal throne broken into jagged halves, and the back-and-forth of missives.

Of course, going wordless has its challenges. Kindly, Synectic provides a compact synopsis of the story. I’d recommend coming early and studying that page. With changing locations, lots of who’s who, shifting alliances, numerous war skirmishes, and lack of dialogue, it helps to get a jump on plot and characters.

Erik Teague’s terrific costume design is not only inspired but also helpful. Crimson red, silver, and white say Rome; while all things Egyptian have a more exotic look with lots of gold and diaphanous veils, etc. 

When Synetic’s voicelessness works, it’s masterful. Many hands create the magic: There’s the direction, choreography, design, and the outrageously committed, sinewy built players who bring it to life through movement, some acrobatics, and the remarkable sword dancing using (actual sparking sabers) while twirling to original music composed by Konstantine Lortkipanidze.

Amid the tumultuous relationships and frequent battling (fight choreography compliments of Ben Cunis), moments of whimsy and humor aren’t unwelcome. Ptolemy has a few clownish bits as Cleopatra’s lesser sibling. And Antony’s powerful rival Octavian (ageless out actor Philip Fletcher) engages in peppy propaganda featuring a faux Cleopatra (played by Maryam Najafzada) as a less than virtuous queen enthusiastically engaged in an all-out sex romp. 

When Antony and Cleopatra reach their respective ends with sword and adder, it comes almost as a relief. They’ve been through so much. And from start to finish, without uttering a word, Kavsadze and Tsikurishvili share a chemistry that pulls the audience into the grips of the doomed lovers’ palpable passion.

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Out & About

Love board games and looking for love?

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(Image by VLADGRIN/Bigstock)

Quirk Events will host “Board Game Speed Dating for Gay Men” on Thursday, Jan. 22 at 7 p.m. at KBird DC. 

Searching for a partner can be challenging. But board games are always fun. So what if you combined board games and finding a partner?

Picture this: You sit down for a night of games. A gaming concierge walks you through several games over the course of the night. You play classics you love and discover brand new games you’ve never heard of, playing each with a different group of fun singles. All while in a great establishment. 

At the end of the night, you give your gaming concierge a list of the folks you met that you’d like to date and a list of those you met that you’d like to just hang out with as friends. If any two people put down the same name as each other in either column, then your gaming concierge will make sure you get each other’s e-mail address and you can coordinate a time to hang out.

Tickets cost $31.80 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

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