Living
SPIRITUALITY 2018: Inner city, small town MCC church experiences vastly different
Clergy members say affirming denomination still needed in 2018 and beyond

Exterior of the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington. (Photo by Elvert Barnes; courtesy Wikimedia Commons)
It’s a much different thing to go to a Metropolitan Community Church in a major city vs. a small town and the denomination itself, founded in the late ‘60s as a Protestant fellowship for LGBT Christians, is in a time of transition as more churches, especially in Christianity’s more liberal branches, have become affirming. Roman Catholics and evangelicals — the two largest groups of U.S. believers — are the biggest holdouts.
As Christianity’s Paschal Triduum culminates with Easter this weekend, we checked in with two regional LGBT MCC clergy to find out how their parishes are doing in 2018. Rev. Deb Coggin is pastor of New Light MCC in Hagerstown, Md. Rev. Cathy Alexander is associate pastor of MCC Washington. They responded via e-mail.

New Light MCC
New Light MCC — Hagerstown, Md.
What year was your church started? 1996
Was it always an MCC church? yes
How many weekend services do you have on a normal week? one
About how many folks walk through your doors on an average Sunday? 20-25
Are you full-time, part-time or volunteer? Part-time – 20 hours a week
What is your annual operating budget? $53,000
How do you feel the needs may be different of MCC believers/members in major cities vs. small towns or suburbs? In a small city, support and safe places for LGBT are fewer. The needs remain the same. All of us need support, a safe place to be and the affirmation that God is with us. This message is part of the DNA of MCC.
Are you doing a Good Friday or Holy Saturday service? Good Friday service is tonight at 7 p.m.
What times are your Easter services? 10:30 a.m.
How is your Easter Sunday morning worship different? We add a few extra readings and special pieces however; the base of the service remains the same.
What was your attendance for Easter 2017? 32
As the mainline churches have become more welcoming, what does MCC offer that they do not in your opinion? MCC is more than welcoming. We celebrate all of who we are as children of God. We are more than affirming. We are inclusive. Everyone is invited to full participation in the life of an MCC community of faith.
Are there many cradle Catholics and/or cradle evangelicals in your pews? As those bodies have dug in their heels against LGBT folks, how does MCC have relevance to those believers? Our congregation has many of both. It is the same for all who have been preached at as if they are evil. We help them heal and discover for themselves what God has to say. We plan services and activities so all feel accepted and comfortable. We honor some traditions of all Christian faiths while creating something new for all.
Are mainline churches in Hagerstown very affirming? In Hagerstown, we have several very affirming churches, however, most churches either tolerate or are outwardly hostile to LGBT people. We offer a safe place for healing from church abuse in all forms. We encourage the full participation in the life of our community. We seek to teach people to live in the questions of faith as opposed to declaring we have all the answers. We offer a positive biblical message about LGBT people as well as refute and explain passages which have been used to abuse LGBT people.
What kind of faith community were you raised in if any? I was 28 before I came into a faith belief with God. I quickly moved from Southern Baptist to Assemblies of God to Pentecostal to MCC.
What’s a general scripture passage that continues to resonate with you? Romans Chapter 8 resonates with me and particularly verses 37-39: “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
What’s your favorite hymn or sacred musical selection? Old hymn would be “What A Friend We Have In Jesus.” Contemporary praise would be “We All Bleed The Same.”
Overall how is the MCC needle shifting? Where do you see the fellowship going in the next 10-20 years? We are being called into accountability for being as fully inclusive as we promote. I believe we will continue to be in the forefront of the fight for justice — LGBT rights, homelessness, poverty, drug addiction, human trafficking, gun control, women’s rights, etc. Wherever there is injustice in the world, MCC along with others will be in the fight for justice.
Could you imagine a day where LGBT believers will be so fully integrated that there will be no need for MCC or is that too “pie in the sky” for our lifetime? Our founder, Rev. Elder Troy Perry once believed this was possible. For MCC now, it is not only the LGBT people involved in the life of MCC but heterosexuals as well as children. My wife and I adopted five girls. They are growing up in an MCC church and my hope is they will continue into adulthood with MCC, which is about more than sexuality. We believe in Gods call to help others. I believe there will always be people in need and the need for MCC to be present and active.
Metropolitan Community Church of Washington
What year was your church started? 1971
Was it always an MCC church? Yes, it has always been under the Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC) umbrella.
How many weekend services do you have on a normal week? We have two services per Sunday in the sanctuary. We also have a monthly interactive service on the last Sunday of each month led by our Young Adult Ministry. These services are held at various locations throughout the city. The last Sunday reflective service was held at the National Portrait Gallery. We are also re-starting our monthly Spanish speaking prayer service.
About how many folks walk through your doors on an average Sunday? We worship about 130-150 each Sunday on site and an additional 50-60 via live streaming of our services. Also an additional 40-60 views of the videos of the service. The message of love and acceptance is getting out there. MCC-D.C. is blessed to be one of the most diverse congregations in MCC on a variety of levels.
Do you have your own building? Yes
Are you full-time, part-time or volunteer? I am full time and the Senior Pastor Rev. Elder Dwayne Johnson is full time.
What is your annual operating budget? (declines to answer)
How do you feel the needs may be different of MCC believers/members in major cities vs. small towns or suburbs? The need for shelter, food, spiritual guidance, safe streets and community are consistent and driving forces for our neighbors no matter the geography. Where people congregate in a given location may differ, the ability to get around from place to place quickly may be different, and proximity to church may be a challenge. Many times in a suburban environment, the closest MCC may be hours away. This proves to be a challenge to establishing community. In an urban environment, the unpredictability of traffic is an issue in on-site attendance. It encourages us to seek different ways to reach out to and spiritually touch people (like livestream, remote campuses and other ways to make it easier for people to connect).
Are you doing a Good Friday or Holy Saturday service? One is planned for Good Friday, yes. We also held a Maundy Thursday service.
What times are your Easter services? 9 and 11 a.m.
How is your Easter Sunday morning worship different? We usually welcome more people to our services on Easter (Christmas Eve too). We have several ministries in our worship arts ministry (9 a.m. choir, 11 a.m. choir, First Sunday Choir, Moving Spirit Dance Ministry, Eclectic Praise Band, Drama Ministry, sound board, audio/visual) who minister on different Sundays throughout any given month. Most of our ministries will offer their gifts together during our Easter Sunday Services.
What was your attendance for Easter 2017? About 300 throughout Holy Week last year.
As the mainline churches have become more welcoming, what does MCC offer that they do not in your opinion? I don’t think it is so much a matter of what one offers against the other. I believe there is enough hurt and spiritual violence in the world that requires that all of our spiritual organizations reach into the communities in which they serve to help as much as possible to counteract messages of hate, violence and harm. Is there a place and a need for MCC into the future? I would say absolutely yes, without a question or doubt in my mind. Many of our congregants have let us know that they appreciate going to church where many in the church have similar perspectives and challenges as they do. They can come as their entire selves and the affinity communities in which they are a part — leather, drag and a variety of others.
Are there many cradle catholics and/or cradle evangelicals in your pews? As those bodies have dug in their heels against LGBT folks, how does MCC have relevance to those believers? We understand (mostly from membership class) the faith background of those who regularly attend our services. About 20-30 percent come from a Catholic background and 10 percent from evangelical traditions, 60 percent from other protestant faith traditions and a small number of those from the Jewish and Buddhist traditions. One thing that is difficult to do is to paint the denominations and the people in them with the same broad brush. There have been hurtful, spiritually violent and life threatening damage done as a result of some of these institutions. I think it is important to remain open to inviting conversation and common cause. There are things we can agree on and perhaps we can be the agents of change to enter in to conversation to impact hearts and minds. This is done on a personal level primarily and not necessarily on a denominational one.
What kind of faith community were you raised in if any? I was raised in a Christian tradition: Baptist and Catholic.
What’s a kernel or verse in the gospel resurrection narrative that especially resonates with you or that you may be preaching on Easter Sunday? For me, the progressive message of the Jesus who defied the oppressive Roman government forces provided a new way to be in relationship with God and each other. Our theme this year is Rising Strong, influenced by Brene Brown’s book. We are encouraged to rise strong to be our authentic and truest selves.
What’s a general scripture passage that continues to resonate with you? I’m partial to the Psalms as they sing the songs of the human condition — love, joy, connection to the Divine, lament and hope.
What’s your favorite hymn or sacred musical selection? I love all kinds of music. I particularly like “Total Praise” by Richard Smallwood and “My Help” by Jackie Gouche Farris (Psalm 121)
Overall how is the MCC needle shifting? Where do you see the fellowship going in the next 10-20 years? I see MCC continue to speak out for justice, and to live out Micah 6:8 “He has told you, human one, what is good and what the Lord requires from you: do justice, embrace faithful love, and walk humbly with your God.”
Real Estate
No Rose, your interest rate has nothing to do with how many likes you got on Hinge
Many factors help determine rates these days

Picture it, you’re sitting in the lunchroom at work, and your coworker just bought a house. Another coworker bought one a few months ago and you hear that she got a totally different interest rate than the other one did, even though they both bought houses not that far from each other. Homebuyers everywhere have been wondering what interest rates they are going to get, lately. It’s easy to read an article online or see an ad on social media stating specific numbers, but there may be more than meets the eye going into a particular buyer’s interest rate.
What are the factors that can affect the interest rate a buyer eventually “locks in”?
- Property details – certain properties may be in neighborhoods with higher rates of foreclosure, or there may be specific census tracts that allow a buyer to participate in the “Fannie Mae Home Ready” and “Freddie Mac Home Possible” programs, which carry more flexible requirements such as various income limits and lower interest rates, to help people begin homeownership.
- Type of loan / loan amount– a conventional, conforming loan or a jumbo loan can have differing interest rates, as well as FHA loans.
- Credit score – most people are aware that this affects what interest rate is quoted, just like on a credit card. Some lenders will work with you on ways to improve a credit score if the goal is to buy six, nine, or 12 months from now.
- Lock period – do you want to lock in the rate for 30 days? 45? Market volatility can cause the rates to change so it will cost more money to hold onto a particular interest rate.
- Loan to value ratio – one can still buy a home with less than 20% down, but the rate that is quoted may be higher.
- Occupancy type – is this the primary residence or an investment property?
- Points bought or credits taken – A buyer can pay the lender a fee to buy down the interest rate, or the seller can sometimes offer a credit. This has become more popular in recent years.
- Market conditions – keep an eye on the news – as we are all aware, change is the only constant!
Lender Tina del Casale with Atlantic Union Bank says, “With jumbo fixed rates in the low 6’s, and first-time buyer down payment assistance loans such as DC Open Doors, rates are in the mid 7’s. With the added factors of your income, the address you are purchasing and your credit score factoring into the equation, interest rates are different from buyer to buyer these days. So, skip the online tools and make a few calls because that’s the only way to get an accurate quote these days!”
It might feel like an overwhelming amount of information to take on, but remember, there are people that help others take these big steps every day. A trusted lender and Realtor can guide their clients from start to finish when it comes to purchasing a home. And for that, you’ll be saying, “thank you for being a friend!”
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Advice
Stop haranguing your husband about how you think he should behave
Make your point and then move on from the argument

Michael,
My husband is great, but he’s a pushover. It happens at work a lot. For example: His colleague, who came back from maternity leave about four months ago, is always leaving early. And Jeremy is always staying late to finish the jobs that they should be doing together.
But the most galling to me is that he doesn’t speak up for himself in his family. His parents (in my opinion) overtly favor his brother (who is straight) and his brother’s family. I could give a lot of examples. The latest: They’re treating the brother and the family to a cruise.
We’ve been together for 15 years, married for 12, and never get any such treatment.
Jeremy says his brother is strapped for cash (four kids, one income) and the family needs a break, whereas Jeremy doesn’t need his parents to pay for his (or our) vacation. I don’t really want to go on a cruise but it’s the principle of the thing.
Again, this is just one example. I feel bad for Jeremy being walked on, over and over, and I want him to start standing up for himself. Despite my repeated entreaties, he won’t.
When I push him on this, he tells me I’m not seeing the whole picture, or he sees it differently, or it’s not a big deal, or he’s fine with things as they are.
I can’t see how he could be fine with being taken advantage of, or not being appreciated. I think he’d have a much better life if he actually set some boundaries with people.
How do I persuade Jeremy to listen to me and be more assertive?
Michael replies:
Do you see the irony in complaining that you can’t get your husband to listen to you about being more assertive and setting a boundary?
You’ve made your point to Jeremy, repeatedly, and Jeremy is telling you to back off. In other words, he’s assertively setting a boundary with you.
You can’t get someone else to behave in the way you want, even when you’re certain that your way is best. Jeremy gets to decide how he wants to conduct himself.
Here’s a pattern I have noticed over and over again through my years of working with couples: When you try to do something for someone that is their own job to do, both you and the person you are trying to “help” wind up being resentful. You get annoyed that the other person won’t listen to your wonderful advice, and the other person gets annoyed because they don’t want someone else telling them what to do or how to live their life.
In this case, you’re trying to get Jeremy to stand up for himself more than he does, and he’s not interested in changing how he operates.
A great rule for relationships: You can advocate for what you want, but you have to let go of the result. (And advocate sparingly, or you risk being a nag).
You are continuing to argue the same point to Jeremy, and Jeremy isn’t interested in listening to you. As you asked for my advice, here it is: Cut it out before he gets into the resentment stage, if he’s not already there, as you apparently are.
Also, please consider that your repeatedly criticizing Jeremy’s parents where Jeremy sees no problem could damage not only your relationship with Jeremy, but also his and your relationship with his family.
We get to marry the person we marry. We don’t get to insist that they upgrade to a better (at least in our opinion) version. Trying to do so is not just disrespectful and a waste of time, it poisons the relationship.
So find a way to live with Jeremy as he is, or — if you find his acquiescent nature unbearable — leave. But don’t spend the rest of your marriage, or even another day, haranguing him about how you think he should behave.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Real Estate
The best U.S. cities for LGBTQ homebuyers in 2025
Where strong equality scores, vibrant culture, attainable prices converge

Buying a home has always been a landmark of security and self-expression. For LGBTQ+ people, it can also be a powerful act of claiming space in a country where housing equality is still a work in progress. The good news? This year offers more options—and more protections—than ever. A record-breaking 130 U.S. cities now score a perfect 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI), meaning their local laws, services, and political leadership actively protect queer residents, reports.hrc.org. Meanwhile, national housing analysts at Zillow expect only modest price growth this year (about 2.6 percent), giving buyers a little breathing room to shop around.
Below are eight standout markets where strong equality scores, vibrant LGBTQ+ culture, and relatively attainable prices converge. Median sale prices are from March 2025 Zillow data.
1. Minneapolis–St. Paul, MN
Median sale price: $317,500
Twin Cities residents benefit from statewide nondiscrimination laws that explicitly cover sexual orientation and gender identity, a thriving queer arts scene, and dozens of neighborhood Pride celebrations beyond the mega-festival each June. Buyers also appreciate Minnesota’s down-payment assistance programs for first-time and BIPOC purchasers—many LGBTQ+ households qualify.
2. Philadelphia
Median sale price: $227,667
Philly combines East Coast culture with Mid-Atlantic affordability. “Gayborhood” anchors like Giovanni’s Room bookstore mingle with new LGBTQ-owned cafés in Fishtown and South Philly. Pennsylvania added statewide housing protections in 2024, closing the legal gaps that once worried trans and nonbinary buyers.
3. Pittsburgh
Median sale price: $221,667
Don’t let the steel-town stereotype fool you—Pittsburgh’s MEI score is 100, and its real-estate dollar stretches further than in comparable metros. Lawrenceville and Bloomfield have become hubs for queer-owned eateries and co-working spaces, while regional employers in tech and healthcare boast top Corporate Equality Index ratings.
4. Tucson, Ariz.
Median sale price: $328,333
This desert city punches above its weight in LGBTQ+ visibility thanks to the University of Arizona, a nationally ranked Pride parade, and some of the country’s most picturesque outdoor recreation. Arizona’s statewide fair-housing statute now explicitly lists gender identity, giving buyers added recourse if discrimination occurs.
5. Madison, Wisc.
Median sale price: $413,867
Madison blends progressive politics with a top-five public university and a booming tech corridor. Local lenders routinely promote inclusive marketing, and Dane County offers one of the few county-level LGBTQ+ home-ownership programs in the nation, providing up to $10,000 in forgivable assistance for low-to-moderate-income couples.
6. Atlanta
Median sale price: $359,967
The cultural capital of the Southeast delivers queer nightlife, Fortune 500 jobs, and a web of supportive nonprofits such as Lost-n-Found Youth. While Georgia lacks statewide protections, Atlanta’s 100-point MEI score covers public accommodations, contracting, and employer requirements—shielding homebuyers who choose in-town neighborhoods like Midtown or East Point.
7. St. Petersburg, Fla.
Median sale price: $354,667 Yes, Florida’s statewide politics are turbulent, but St. Pete has long held firm on LGBTQ+ equality. The city’s Pride festival draws nearly a million visitors, and local ordinances bar discrimination in housing and public services. Waterfront bungalows in Kenwood and more affordable condos near Uptown give first-time buyers options.
8. Denver
Median sale price: $563,500
Colorado passed some of the nation’s strongest gender identity housing protections in 2024, and Denver’s queer community remains one of the most visible in the Mountain West. Although prices run higher, buyers gain exceptional job growth and one of the country’s largest Gay & Lesbian Chambers of Commerce.
Smart Strategies for LGBTQ+ Buyers & Sellers
1. Build Your Dream Team Early
- Work with an equality-focused real-estate pro. The easiest way is to start at GayRealEstate.com, which has screened gay, lesbian, and allied agents in every U.S. market for more than 30 years.
- Choose inclusive lenders and inspectors. Ask whether each vendor follows HUD’s 2021 guidance interpreting the Fair Housing Act to cover sexual orientation and gender identity.
2. Know Your Rights—And Limitations
- Federal law bars housing bias, but enforcement can lag. Document everything and report issues to HUD, your state civil-rights agency, or Lambda Legal.
- In states without full protections, rely on city ordinances (check the MEI) and add explicit nondiscrimination language to your purchase contract.
3. Evaluate Neighborhood Fit
- Use local data: crime stats, school ratings, transit, and MEI scores of nearby suburbs.
- Spend time in queer-owned cafés, bars, and community centers to gauge true inclusivity.
4. For Sellers: Market With Pride—And Professionalism
- Highlight proximity to LGBTQ+ resources (community centers, Pride festivals) in your listing remarks.
- Stage neutrally but inclusively—rainbow art is great, but removing personal photos can protect privacy during showings.
The landscape for LGBTQ+ homeowners is evolving fast. By coupling inclusive laws, supportive culture, and attainable prices, cities like Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Tucson stand out for 2025. No matter where you land, surround yourself with professionals who value every part of your identity. Start your journey at GayRealEstate.com, lean on the resources above, and claim your corner of the American dream—on your own terms, and with pride.
Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.
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