Arts & Entertainment
Dating app #open offers free virtual sex-ed class to help ease the ‘self-isolation’ blues

While self-isolation and staying “safer at home” are undoubtedly the right thing to do for the overall health and well-being of ourselves and the larger community, they aren’t necessarily great for our sex lives.
With efforts to “flatten the curve” on the spread of COVID-19 already stretching out into weeks, many single and non-monogamous people – or even monogamous couples, if separated by circumstance during the quarantine – are sure to be feeling the call of their libido. Rather than giving into the potentially catastrophic temptation of risking an in-person meet-up, many of those with the urge to get their groove on are turning to the many options for remote connection available to us in the age of smart phones and video conferencing.
While the virtual approach to shared sexual experience may be familiar enough for many of us, there are also many for whom it is a challenging journey into unexplored territory – and in terms of finding a meaningful connection that goes deeper than an impersonal and anonymous hook-up. Rather than letting that be an obstacle to participation in a little sexual self-care, why not get a few tips from an expert so you can be ready to dive in with confidence?
To that end, #open, a dating app for women and other marginalized groups including people seeking open or polyamorous relationships, has partnered with sex and relationship educator Sarah Sloane to offer a virtual video sex education workshop on dating in isolation (or iso-dating), which is happening on Saturday, March 28.
Sloane, according to her website, wears “a number of different hats” in both her personal and professional lives. An educator with twenty years of experience teaching thousands of people throughout the US, Canada, and overseas, she’s also written “hundreds of articles, essays, advice columns, book chapters, and blog posts on topics ranging from sexuality and pleasure to mental wellness, personal growth, aging, and trauma recovery.”
Her writings have been featured in magazines such as the adult industry retail magazine StorErotica, as well as online in places like PopSugar, and in books like Tristan Taormino’s “Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge” and Lee Harrington’s book, “Rope, Bondage and Power.” In addition, she was Ms. Illinois Leather Pride 2016, was nominated for the Pantheon of Leather’sWoman of the Year award for 2009, was first runner-up for International Ms. Leather 2009, and was a past nominee for the Vaughan Keith National Educator award from Black Rose.
As for #open, the relative newcomer among the array of dating apps was launched by co-founders Amanda Wilson and David Epstein, who themselves met on a dating app in 2015 and decided to build one of their own a year later. In the words of Epstein, “it’s an app that’s been built for people with a fairly open mindset, when it comes to human sexuality.”
The fledgling app has already been proactive during the current coronavirus crisis, advising its users to look to the virtual sphere for a healthier alternative for sexual exploration and encouraging them to use the opportunity to work on other aspects of dating, such as their communication skills. Now, they’re going a step further by presenting Sloane’s online workshop to help us get the most out of the experience.
“The spread of COVID-19 has been hard on our community at large. Sex-positive outlets have been disporpotionately affected by this pandemic and for many it feels as though the community we have all worked so hard to pull together has been pushed apart,” says app co-founder Wilson. “More now than ever we need connection and commonality, which is why we’ve joined forces with Sex Educator Sarah Sloane to bring you a virtual dating workshop that is open to all!”
She added, “This Saturday evening’s class ‘Iso-dating 101 (with Q&A)’ has all of your favorite sex-ed workshop components without any work (getting out of bed is not required)! Whether you’re new to online dating or you’re trying to figure out the best way to frame your needs and expectations when in-person meetups are out of the question, this free educational ‘social gathering’ is for you.”
You can attend the virtual workshop on Saturday, March 28, at 7:00pm ET / 4:00pm PT, at hashtagopen.com/live.
Out & About
Gay librarian to discuss new novel at Green Lantern
Gareth Carter to speak at ‘Cocktails, Chaos & Controversy’ fundraiser
Librarian, novelist, and advocate for intellectual freedom Gareth Carter will talk about his debut novel, “The Misadventures of Don Kee Dong & Phillip Mihol,” on Sunday, July 12 at 4 p.m. at Green Lantern Bar.

The event, titled “Cocktails, Chaos & Controversy” is a fundraiser for the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center Library and will celebrate queer storytelling, libraries, and Carter’s new novel.
The event will combine humor, conversation, and community. In addition to being on hand to sell and sign books, Carter will share his own journey from librarian to novelist, discuss the state of public libraries in an era of book banning, and his own challenges with one group, which served as the genesis for this novel, the first in his International Men of Mystery series.
For more details, visit Carter’s website.
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Friday, July 10
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 6 p.m. at Freddie’s. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Women in their Twenties and Thirties will meet at 8 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, visit Facebook.
Saturday, July 11
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
“Reel Affirmations XTRA: Washington DC’s International LGBTQ+ Monthly Film Series” will present “Bookends” at 11:30 a.m. at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. “Bookends” is a touching love story, free popcorn, soft drinks, and conversation with your community. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Sunday, July 12
“Duet: A Curated Sapphic Karaoke Dating Experience” will be at 5 p.m. at Muzette. This event is designed for single queer women and sapphics ages 35+ who are looking to meet potential romantic partners in a relaxed, low-pressure environment. For more details, visit Eventbrite.
Monday, July 13
“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).
Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.
Tuesday, July 14
Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.
Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected].
Wednesday, July 15
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
Thursday, July 16
The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC LBTQ+ Community Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5:00 pm if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Movies
‘She’s the He’ brings gender-bending twist to teen comedy genre
Recreating raunchy nostalgia through a queer eye
No matter which generation you belong to, you have nostalgic memories of “teen comedy” movies from your adolescent years, even though you’re a little embarrassed about it today.
This is particularly true for the Gen X and Millennial crowd, who grew up with raunchy teen movies from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” to “Porky’s” to “American Pie,” and have lived long enough to experience the shock of watching younger generations deploring them for the very raunchiness and toxic behavior that made them appealing to us in the first place.
These are exactly the type of films that are channelled in “She’s the He,” a SXSW hit and Independent Spirit Award nominee that hit VOD platforms on June 30, which strikes a nostalgic chord that conjures both the extreme “political incorrectness” and heartfelt sensitivity of the movies that inspired it – but updates the formula to add an edge that’s especially relevant in our current time.
In other words, it recreates the “raunchy teen comedy” genre through a queer eye (with a focus on the fine points of gender identity), and it’s every bit as messy, awkward, inappropriate, and “cringey” as you might hope it to be.
Written and directed by trans/nonbinary filmmaker Siobhan McCarthy, it’s a movie that might result in mixed feelings from many audiences over a story that centers on two cis-male high school seniors, Ethan (Misha Osherovich) and Alex (Nico Carney), who pretend to “come out” as trans together as a way to get close to girls.
Actually, it’s mostly Alex’s scheme to gain “access” to his crush, Sasha (Malia Pyles), and quell the rampant rumors that he and lifelong BFF Ethan are gay, reasoning that being “trans” would technically make them girls, too. It works, incredibly, in the beginning, but as a burgeoning friendship with nonbinary Forest (Tatiana Ringsby) distracts Alex from his rampant teen hormones, Ethan begins to realize that she really is trans, after all. What started out as a juvenile ploy suddenly becomes a complicated mess, and the two best friends must try to navigate their way out of it; unfortunately, Alex can’t stop scheming for sex and Ethan is struggling with the prospect of coming out to her transphobic mother (Suzanne Cryer), and needless to say, it puts a strain on their friendship. Meanwhile, there’s a whole locker room full of testosterone-charged jocks who want in on the scam themselves.
If all that sounds incredibly problematic to you, you’re not wrong – it definitely is. The entire premise, with all its nonconsensual shadiness and its hormone-driven gaslighting, seems like enough to trigger calls for “cancellation” from both sides of our divided social mediaverse; add to that the fact that the whole thing is played for laughs, as a crass and foul-mouthed sex farce about high school kids, and the movie opens itself up to an even greater level of pearl-clutching.
Like most of those teen raunch-fests of earlier generations, however, “She’s the He” is doing it all on purpose. McCarthy’s wildly “inappropriate” movie is not just some cheap sexploitation comedy, but a savagely campy assault on the attitudes and expectations of the very people that might be offended by it.
As McCarthy says in their director’s notes for the film, “By taking conservative talking points at face value and playing out their worst fears on screen, ‘She’s the He’ seeks to undermine and defang these harmful ideas while satirizing the very media that has fueled this fear-mongering.”
Among the most obvious “conservative talking points” their movie lampoons is the whole obsession around gender and bathrooms (it is, after all, a story about two cis males who essentially disguise themselves as trans so that they can get into the girl’s locker room), but there are a whole lot of others, too: the excessive concern over pronouns, the obsession over genitalia, the assumption that gender identity and sexuality are somehow synonymous, the sexed-up male fantasy of what happens between girls when they’re behind closed doors – all the typical exaggerated tropes are there, and exaggerated even further for full effect. In fact, it’s the film’s not-so-subtle subversion of the “male gaze” through a queer and feminist lens that might be its most satisfying flourish, underscoring the already absurd parody provided by Alex’s single-minded (and hilariously “incel”-ish) prioritization of his sex drive above all other considerations.
Yet what really raises “She’s the He” above the level of the crude humor it deploys has nothing to do with making fun of people, nor is it even about pushing against uptight social boundaries around sexual and/or gender expression; all the irreverent zaniness is wrapped around a deeper story about friendship, love, and growth, a journey of self-discovery and finding the courage to embrace who you really are. And at the center of it is a transgender nonbinary actor in the leading role – in itself a bold challenge to rigid expectations – with not just the talent, but the grace, nuance, and bravery to play it with full authenticity. Osherovich earned a well-deserved nomination for Best Breakthrough Performance at this year’s Independent Spirit Awards, and they’re the heart of the film.
In fact, it might be McCarthy’s deliberate choice to cast their film entirely with actors who identified in some way as queer that fuels its transgressive energy and keeps it feeling “real” even when it’s at its most ludicrously excessive. They make for a great ensemble of players, but naturally there are standouts: co-star Carney (who is also a successful standup comic, known for mining his own transmasculine experience for laughs) does a great job as Alex, endearingly unconcerned and frequently clueless about his shortcomings as he single-mindedly pursues the loss of his virginity, and his chemistry with Oserovich makes them a winning pair whenever they share the screen; Cryer brings a dose of needed maturity to the mix, while also conveying the struggle of a mom trying to navigate her child’s coming out; Pyles and Ringsby both bring the intelligence and depth to undercut our expectations of their characters; comedian Aparna Nancherla earns plenty of chuckles as a teacher haplessly trying to keep up with all the changing identities (and pronoun protocols) of her students; and knowing that the school’s entire male sports team is played by transmasculine actors adds a delicious flavor to the movie’s overall parody of conventional gender presentation that helps make its climactic “locker room showdown” scene all the more hilarious.
It’s worth noting that “She’s the He” is targeted mainly for Gen Z audiences – it’s their generation’s turn to put their stamp on the genre, after all – but older audiences needn’t feel left out; there’s plenty here that should feel universal enough for any age to enjoy; and if you’re afraid it will be too extreme, rest assured: the most shocking thing about it is that it might be the sweetest teen sex comedy you’ll ever see.
Considering they’ve been making them for decades, that’s saying a lot.
