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New trans memoir ‘Fairest’ full of unexpected intersections

Beautiful, riveting autobiography full of pathos, humor

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Fairest: a memoir book review, gay news, Washington Blade
(Image courtesy Viking)

‘Fairest: A Memoir’

By Meredith Talusan

Viking

May 26

$27

320 pages

“I contain multitudes,” queer poet Walt Whitman famously wrote in his poem “Song of Myself.”

Meredith Talusan, author of the recently released “Fairest: A Memoir,” who is a Filipino-American, trans and has albinism, contains more multitudes than most anyone you’ll ever meet.

In “Fairest,” a coming-of-age story, Talusan, the founding executive editor of “them,” Condé Nast’s LGBTQ digital platform, takes us on a journey from the Philippines to California.

Talusan toggles between moments in her life — from her childhood as a boy in the Philippines to her arrival as a woman at her Harvard queer alumni reunion. This could have been a muddled mess, but “Fairest” has the beauty and the gender-bending of Virginia Woolf — if Orlando were attuned to our ideas of race, sexuality, disability and gender.

Talusan was born as a boy with albinism named Marc in a village in the Philippines. Her people believed pregnant women shouldn’t spend too much time in the sun, she writes, “for fear that their baby would be born anak araw, a sun child, the strangest creature whose skin was so pale it glowed, and who … destined to be nearly blind, an affront against nature.”

Yet, Talusan’s grandmother Nanay Coro believed her albinism was a blessing, not a curse. Because, “I was destined to live in America, the richest of countries, where Mama’s father, Lolo Bert, had settled, full of people who looked like me,” Talusan writes.

In some cultures, people with albinism are shunned or killed. Yet, though, Talusan knew early on that she was different, she wasn’t shunned. When Spain and the United States colonized the Philippines, racism flourished. Because of internalized colorism, Talusan was seen as special because her skin is so light. Her grandmother assured her, “that I was meant for a better future than her and our ancestors, farmers who had tiled soil in the fields surrounding our village for generations,” she writes.

“This is because you are fair and beautiful,” her grandmother told Talusan.

As a boy called Marc, Talusan has crushes on other boys. At 11, Marc is “hopelessly smitten” with Sammy but knows that most boys don’t love other boys. At the same time, Talusan is enthralled by the singer Lea Salonga who performs in the musical “Miss Saigon.” Marc thinks how wonderful it would be to be a woman like Salonga’s character Kim in “Miss Saigon” who is “capable of getting a rugged and kind (American} man to fall in love with her.”

“Fairness” is a complex tale of passing, performance and revelation. As a young boy, Talusan learns English and American mannerisms by watching Ricky Schroder in the 1980s sitcom “Silver Spoons.” Soon, Talusan, age 7, is appearing as the son on “Bisoy: Ang Daddy Kong Baduy,” a Filipino sitcom.

At 15, Talusan and her family immigrate to California. Her father isn’t around much and her mother spends most of her time gambling. A scholarship to Harvard is Talusan’s escape from poverty and parental negligence. At Harvard from 1993-1997, Talusan is an out gay man. Talusan takes seminars that deconstruct queer literature, participates in a “kiss-in” against the religious right and engages in the irony of cool gay 1990s men.

Yet Talusan is aware that she’ll often encounter racism and prejudice if people realize she’s Asian or feel she’s too feminine. “Our looks determined our place in the pecking order and…our lack of attractiveness had so much to do with our race and femininity,” she thinks when she’s at her 1997 Harvard queer alumni reunion.

Talusan finds love and commitment with Ralph, an MIT professor. The most poignant moment in “Fairest” is when Ralph and Talusan break up when Talusan begins to transition. Though they’re still friends, Ralph told her that he “didn’t see the person he fell in love with when he looked at me,” Talusan writes.

Despite this sad moment, Talusan doesn’t regret her transition. She becomes open about being trans.

“I had a hunch that becoming a woman would end up being better and turned out to be right,” she writes.

“Fairest” is a beautiful, riveting read. Perfect for these times.

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Books

New book offers observations on race, beauty, love

‘How to Live Free in a Dangerous World’ is a journey of discovery

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(Book cover image courtesy of Tiny Reparations Books)

‘How to Live Free in a Dangerous World: A Decolonial Memoir’
By Shayla Lawson
c.2024, Tiny Reparations Books
$29/320 pages

Do you really need three pairs of shoes?

The answer is probably yes: you can’t dance in hikers, you can’t shop in stilettos, you can’t hike in clogs. So what else do you overpack on this long-awaited trip? Extra shorts, extra tees, you can’t have enough things to wear. And in the new book “How to Live Free in a Dangerous World” by Shayla Lawson, you’ll need to bring your curiosity.

Minneapolis has always been one of their favorite cities, perhaps because Shayla Lawson was at one of Prince’s first concerts. They weren’t born yet; they were there in their mother’s womb and it was the first of many concerts.

In all their travels, Lawson has noticed that “being a Black American” has its benefits. People in other countries seem to hold Black Americans in higher esteem than do people in America. Still, there’s racism – for instance, their husband’s family celebrates Christmas in blackface.

Yes, Lawson was married to a Dutch man they met in Harlem. “Not Haarlem,” Lawson is quick to point out, and after the wedding, they became a housewife, learned the language of their husband, and fell in love with his grandmother. Alas, he cheated on them and the marriage didn’t last. He gave them a dog, which loved them more than the man ever did.

They’ve been to Spain, and saw a tagline in which a dark-skinned Earth Mother was created. Said Lawson, “I find it ironic, to be ordained a deity when it’s been a … journey to be treated like a person.”

They’ve fallen in love with “middle-American drag: it’s the glitteriest because our mothers are the prettiest.” They changed their pronouns after a struggle “to define my identity,” pointing out that in many languages, pronouns are “genderless.” They looked upon Frida Kahlo in Mexico, and thought about their own disability. And they wish you a good trip, wherever you’re going.

“No matter where you are,” says Lawson, “may you always be certain who you are. And when you are, get everything you deserve.”

Crack open the front cover of “How to Live Free in a Dangerous World” and you might wonder what the heck you just got yourself into. The first chapter is artsy, painted with watercolors, and difficult to peg. Stick around, though. It gets better.

Past that opening, author Shayna Lawson takes readers on a not-so-little trip, both world-wide and with observant eyes – although it seems, at times, that the former is secondary to that which Lawson sees. Readers won’t mind that so much; the observations on race, beauty, love, the attitudes of others toward America, and finding one’s best life are really what takes the wheel in this memoir anyhow. Reading this book, therefore, is not so much a vacation as it is a journey of discovery and joy.

Just be willing to keep reading, that’s all you need to know to get the most out of this book. Stick around and “How to Live Free in a Dangerous World” is what to pack.

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Story of paralysis and survival features queer characters

‘Unswerving: A Novel’ opens your eyes and makes you think

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(Book cover image courtesy of University of Wisconsin Press)

‘Unswerving: A Novel’ 
By Barbara Ridley
c.2024, University of Wisconsin Press
$19.95 / 227 pages

It happened in a heartbeat.

A split-second, a half a breath, that’s all it took. It was so quick, so sharp-edged that you can almost draw a line between before and after, between then and now. Will anything ever be the same again? Perhaps, but maybe not. As in the new book “Unswerving” by Barbara Ridley, things change, and so might you.

She could remember lines, hypnotizing yellow ones spaced on a road, and her partner, Les, asleep in the seat beside her. It was all so hazy. Everything Tave Greenwich could recall before she woke up in a hospital bed felt like a dream.

It was as though she’d lost a month of her life.

“Life,” if you even wanted to call it that, which she didn’t. Tave’s hands resembled claws bent at the wrist. Before the accident, she was a talented softball catcher but now she could barely get her arms to raise above her shoulders. She could hear her stomach gurgle, but she couldn’t feel it. Paralyzed from the chest down, Tave had to have help with even the most basic care.

She was told that she could learn some skills again, if she worked hard. She was told that she’d leave rehab some day soon. What nobody told her was how Les, Leslie, her partner, girlfriend, love, was doing after the accident.

Physical therapist Beth Farringdon was reminded time and again not to get over-involved with her patients, but she saw something in Tave that she couldn’t ignore. Beth was on the board of directors of a group that sponsored sporting events for disabled athletes; she knew people who could serve as role models for Tave, and she knew that all this could ease Tave’s adjustment into her new life. It was probably not entirely in her job description, but Beth couldn’t stop thinking of ways to help Tave who, at 23, was practically a baby.

She could, for instance, take Tave on outings or help find Les – even though it made Beth’s own girlfriend, Katy, jealous.

So, here’s a little something to know before you start reading “Unswerving”: author Barbara Ridley is a former nurse-practitioner who used to care for patients with spinal cord injuries. That should give readers a comfortable sense of satisfaction, knowing that her experiences give this novel an authenticity that feels right and rings true, no faking.

But that’s not the only appeal of this book: while there are a few minor things that might have readers shaking their heads (HIPAA, anyone?), Ridley’s characters are mostly lifelike and mostly likable. Even the nasties are well done and the mysterious character that’s there-not-there boosts the appeal. Put everyone together, twist a little bit to the left, give them some plotlines that can’t ruined by early guessing, and you’ve got a quick-read novel that you can enjoy and feel good about sharing.

And share you will because this is a book that may also open a few eyes and make readers think. Start “Unswerving” and you’ll (heart) it.

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Books

Examining importance of queer places in history of arts and culture

‘Nothing Ever Just Disappears’ shines with grace and lyrical prose

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(Book cover image courtesy of Pegasus Books)

‘Nothing Ever Just Disappears: Seven Hidden Queer Histories’ 
By Diarmuid Hester
c.2024, Pegasus Books
$29.95/358 pages

Go to your spot.

Where that is comes to mind immediately: a palatial home with soaring windows, or a humble cabin in a glen, a ramshackle treehouse, a window seat, a coffeehouse table, or just a bed with a special blanket. It’s the place where your mind unspools and creativity surges, where you relax, process, and think. It’s the spot where, as in the new book “Nothing Ever Just Disappears” by Diarmuid Hester, you belong.

Clinging “to a spit of land on the south-east coast of England” is Prospect Cottage, where artist and filmmaker Derek Jarman lived until he died of AIDS in 1994. It’s a simple four-room place, but it was important to him. Not long ago, Hester visited Prospect Cottage to “examine the importance of queer places in the history of arts and culture.”

So many “queer spaces” are disappearing. Still, we can talk about those that aren’t.

In his classic book, “Maurice,” writer E.M. Forster imagined the lives of two men who loved one another but could never be together, and their romantic meeting near a second-floor window. The novel, when finished, “proved too radical even for Forster himself.” He didn’t “allow” its publication until after he was dead.

“Patriarchal power,” says Hester, largely controlled who was able to occupy certain spots in London at the turn of the last century. Still, “queer suffragettes” there managed to leave their mark: women like Vera Holme, chauffeur to suffragette leader Emmeline Pankhurst; writer Virginia Woolf; newspaperwoman Edith Craig, and others who “made enormous contributions to the cause.”

Josephine Baker grew up in poverty, learning to dance to keep warm, but she had Paris, the city that “made her into a star.” Artist and “transgender icon” Claude Cahun loved Jersey, the place where she worked to “show just how much gender is masquerade.” Writer James Baldwin felt most at home in a small town in France. B-filmmaker Jack Smith embraced New York – and vice versa. And on a personal journey, Hester mourns his friend, artist Kevin Killian, who lived and died in his beloved San Francisco.

Juxtaposing place and person, “Nothing Ever Just Disappears” features an interesting way of presenting the idea that both are intertwined deeper than it may seem at first glance. The point is made with grace and lyrical prose, in a storyteller’s manner that offers back story and history as author Diarmuid Hester bemoans the loss of “queer spaces.” This is really a lovely, meaningful book – though readers may argue the points made as they pass through the places included here. Landscapes change with history all the time; don’t modern “queer spaces” count?

That’s a fair question to ask, one that could bring these “hidden” histories full-circle: We often preserve important monuments from history. In memorializing the actions of the queer artists who’ve worked for the future, the places that inspired them are worth enshrining, too.

Reading this book may be the most relaxing, soothing thing you’ll do this month. Try “Nothing Ever Just Disappears” because it really hits the spot.

The Blade may receive commissions from qualifying purchases made via this post.

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