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Still fighting for parental rights in Ireland

Every child of an LGBTQ parent deserves equality under the law

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parental rights, gay news, Washington Blade
Ranae von Meding

My name is Ranae and I live in Dublin, Ireland with my wife Audrey. Our daughters Ava and Arya are 4 and 2. Our girls have two mothers, yet I am still seen as a single parent.

Audrey and I were an unlikely couple from the start. She was in her fourth and I was in my first year of acting in a theater school in Dublin. We were paired together at an open day and became friends. We were so different, yet we immediately clicked. I knew Audrey wasn’t straight, but over the course of the next year, I had no idea that I was developing feelings for her. The day before my 21st birthday the realization hit me like a bolt of lightning. The feelings I had for her were so much more than just friendship. The rest, as they say, is history.

We have been together for 12 years now, and married for five. Audrey and I always knew we wanted to have kids and talked about this from the moment we started dating. We both have lots of siblings and knew that life wouldn’t be complete for us without having our own kids. I always dreamed about being pregnant and going through the process of growing and birthing a baby. Audrey, on the other hand, didn’t really want to be pregnant as long as she could become a parent. It was almost an unspoken thing that I would be the one to carry our child, should we go down the IVF route.

One night in early 2015, after a few glasses of wine, I had an idea. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could use Audrey’s eggs but I would carry the baby? This way, our children would genetically be Audreys, but I would be the birth mother. At the time it was just a silly idea we had. Little did we know that conversation would change the course of our lives. We decided to Google it and lo and behold, we found out that it wasn’t that crazy of an idea. Reciprocal IVF was actually an incredibly popular fertility treatment option for same-sex couples. At that moment, we knew that Reciprocal IVF was right for us.

When we tried to book a clinic appointment in Dublin, we were disappointed to find out that they wouldn’t treat us in Ireland. Back in 2015, Reciprocal IVF wasn’t licensed yet. In fact it’s only been licensed in the last year. We were given the option to do IUI/IVF with my own eggs, but at that point we had our hearts set on using Audrey’s eggs. Despite the setback, it made us more determined to find a way. We found a clinic in Spain and to be honest it was a bit of a crazy time for us. We didn’t know any other LGBTQ+ parents, let alone any who had undergone treatment abroad. We had no clue what we were doing, and made so many mistakes along the way. A few months later, we conceived our first child with the help of an anonymous sperm donor.

Conceiving our first child in the wake of marriage equality in Ireland was like a dream. Wrapped up in our little bubble of happiness, we went through that pregnancy with a sense of hope for our future. We got married when I was five months along and we celebrated a future that was finally equal. Little did we know what lay ahead of us.

Toward the end of my pregnancy, we learned something that devastated us. LGBTQ+ parents in Ireland were still not equal. I remember feeling so overwhelmed with emotions and going through various stages of shock. My first reaction was ‘but we are married and we voted for marriage equality last year.’

After consulting with a solicitor, we found out more. From the moment our daughter was born I would be a married woman but considered a single mother. I would be forced to register myself as a sole parent and our family would not be recognized under the law, simply because we were a same-sex couple. The simple difference was that I was married to a woman and not a man and because of this, Audrey would be a legal stranger to her own child.

There are some moments that stick with me. Moments that were stolen from us as a young family and ones that we will never get back. The day we registered Ava’s birth, we walked into the registration office and saw all the proud parents with their babies. When they called us into the room, the registrar sat down behind her desk. Without looking up she asked, ‘OK, so which one of you is the mother?’ We said, ‘We both are.’ ‘But which one of you gave birth?’ I said, ‘I did!’ She looked at me and said, ‘OK Ranae, I will be directing all my questions at you, if that’s OK?’ From that point on, she didn’t even look at Audrey. It felt like a kick in the gut. It was just all wrong.

That was the day I promised Audrey I was never going to stop fighting until we fixed this. I joked and said, well at least this will all be sorted out by the time we have another baby. How wrong I was. Fast forward to New Year’s Eve 2018 and I lie bleeding in the recovery suite with a second daughter, listening to fireworks, my heart breaking because I knew we were still in the same position as before. As it stands today, I am considered a single parent to our daughters. Our children, along with countless others in Ireland, are denied the right to a legal connection with both of their parents simply because their parents are a same-sex couple.

Much has changed in the last five years. In 2019, following on from an online petition that I started, we started a campaign called ‘Equality For Children’ along with a group of other LGBTQ+ parents. Since then we have been successful at lobbying the government for change and raising awareness of these issues within Ireland. Legislation was finally passed in 2020 that would allow certain LGBTQ+ families to have both parents legally recognized. Sadly it’s legislation that will only cover certain methods of conception. It’s great to see progress in the right direction, but it’s galling for anyone who falls outside of this and is still being actively discriminated against. Only female couples who have conceived in an Irish clinic with a non anonymous donor and a child born in Ireland are covered.

I can’t really put into words how damaging this has been for our family. To be reminded every day that you are ‘less than.’ That you are not equal. For your kids to be punished because their parents aren’t straight. In practical terms it’s an issue for children when one of their parents is unable to give medical consent, unable to travel freely with them, unable to make decisions on their behalf. But it goes beyond that, the emotional and physiological damage it has done to our families is immeasurable.

Following on from lengthy legal proceedings, our family soon hopes to be recognized. If we are, we will be one of the lucky ones. What about all those who fall outside of this? Are their children less deserving of equality? Because they have two dads? Because they were conceived outside of a clinic? Because they have a known donor? Because they weren’t born in Ireland?

This fight will never be over until every child of an LGBTQ+ parent in Ireland has the same rights and protections as any other child in the country.

Ranae von Meding is a writer and a same-sex parent to two young daughters with her wife Audrey. They live in Dublin, Ireland where she has become an outspoken advocate for equal rights for children of LGBTQ+ families. She is the co-founder and CEO of ‘Equality For Children.’ You can find her on Instagram at @ranaevonmeding.

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Miss Major Griffin-Gracy paved the way for today’s transgender rights revolution

The annual Transgender Day of Remembrance is Nov. 20

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Miss Major at the 2024 Democratic National Convention in Milwaukee. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

I’ll never forget the moment Miss Major Griffin-Gracy looked me in the eye and said, “Baby, you can’t wait for permission to exist. You take up space because you deserve to be here.” It was 2016, and I had just finished interviewing her at Northeastern University. What began as a professional encounter became something far deeper. She welcomed me into her chosen family with the fierce love that defined her life’s work.

That advice didn’t just change my perspective; it changed my life. Miss Major had an extraordinary ability to see potential in people before they saw it themselves. She offered guidance that gave permission to dream bigger, fight harder, and live unapologetically in a world that often told transgender people we didn’t belong.

Today, as we reflect on her legacy, we must remember that Miss Major didn’t simply join the transgender rights movement. She helped create it. Her activism laid the foundation for every victory we celebrate today and continues to shape how we fight for justice, dignity, and equality.

To understand her impact, we return to June 28, 1969, when a 27-year-old Black transgender woman stood her ground at the Stonewall Inn. While history often overlooks the transgender women of color at the heart of that uprising, Miss Major was there, refusing to back down when police raided the bar that night.

After Stonewall, she dedicated her life to building what became the infrastructure of liberation. When she fought that night, she wasn’t only resisting police brutality, she was declaring that transgender people, especially Black trans women, would no longer be invisible. Her message was simple: We exist. We matter. We’re not going anywhere.

Miss Major coupled courage with care. She knew that real change required systems of support. While many focused on changing laws, she focused on changing lives. Her work with incarcerated transgender women stands as one of her most powerful legacies. She visited prisons, wrote letters, sent commissary money, and made sure these women knew they weren’t forgotten. It wasn’t glamorous work, but it was transformative.

She built a model of organizing rooted in love and mutual aid communities supporting each other while demanding structural change. That approach became the blueprint for today’s transgender rights organizations, especially those centering Black trans women.

In a time when invisibility was often the safest choice, Miss Major chose visibility. She shared her story again and again, using her own life as proof of transgender resilience and humanity. Her openness created connection and understanding. People who heard her speak couldn’t ignore the truth of our existence or the strength it takes to live authentically.

Miss Major also believed leadership meant creating space for others. After our first meeting, she connected me with other activists, shared resources, and reminded me that my voice mattered. Talk to any transgender activist who came up in the last two decades, and you’ll hear a similar story. She saw something in others and nurtured it until it bloomed.

Her fingerprints are everywhere in today’s movement: in grassroots organizing, in the centering of the most marginalized voices, and in the insistence that liberation must be rooted in love and community. The victories we see (from healthcare access to broader public recognition) are built on the foundation she laid.

In one of our last conversations, Miss Major told me, “This movement isn’t about me. It’s about all of us. And it’s about the ones who come after us.” Her life reminds us that movements are sustained by love as much as protest, by the daily act of showing up for one another as much as by the marches and rallies.

As anti-trans violence rises and our rights face relentless attacks, we need Miss Major’s example more than ever. We need her fierce love, her unwavering defiance, and her belief that we deserve to take up space. Her legacy reminds us that the fight for our lives is also the fight for our joy.

This Transgender Day of Remembrance, we honor those we’ve lost and celebrate those who dared to live fully, people like Miss Major, who taught us that remembrance must come with responsibility. Her life calls us to protect one another, to build systems of care, and to keep fighting for a world where every trans person can live safely and proudly.

The mother of our movement may be gone, but the family she built lives on. The best way to honor her is to continue her work: to build, to protect, to love without limits, and to remind every trans person that they belong, they matter, and they are loved.

Chastity Bowick is an award-winning activist, civil rights leader, and transgender health advocate who has dedicated her career to empowering transgender and gender-nonconforming communities. She led the Transgender Emergency Fund of Massachusetts for seven years, opening New England’s first trans transitional home, and now heads Chastity’s Consulting & Talent Group, LLC. In 2025, she became Interim Executive Director of the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, continuing her mission to advance equity, safety, and opportunity for trans people. Her leadership has earned her numerous honors recognizing her impact on social justice and community care.

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Democratic Socialism won’t win the whole country

We must work toward a blowout on Nov. 3, 2026

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Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani (Screen capture via Zohran Mamdani for NYC/YouTube)

It was a great win for Zohran Mamdani, and his voters, in New York City. His message of hope and change clearly resonated with younger generations, and that is exciting. But while Democratic Socialism, and Eugene Debs, may be the future of New York City, they won’t win the country. Mamdani is a young, smart, charismatic, politician. He is a great speaker, and in his campaign made many promises. Keeping those promises won’t be easy, but whether he can keep them will be what he is judged on. I wish him much success as what he envisions is important. But as Democrats, we need to understand, his brand is not going to be what wins it for Democrats in 2026. It will not win the swing Districts we need. We know that by looking at history. 

I am a proud New Yorker by birth. When traveling the nation as a teenager with the Boy Scouts, going by bus across the country to the 25th Jamboree in Colorado Springs, I understood we in New York were the different ones, not the rest of the nation. I understood at an early age how important it is to respect those differences and they still exist today. If we are to move the nation forward, we have to do it with respect, and together. 

I looked at how Mikie Sherrill won the governorship in New Jersey, and Abigail Spanberger won in Virginia. Their strong messages, more in line with the majority of voters in the nation who see themselves as moderates, are likely to resonate with Democratic voters across the swing congressional districts Democrats need to win in 2026, if they are to take back the House. Based on exit polling their messages also invigorated many young voters. We will need everyone to take back Congress and doing so is a must if we are to save our country from the felon in the White House. 

There are countless reasons to stop Trump. He wants to be a king, and has said so. He acts like a despot declaring war on foreign countries without congressional consent, and even declaring war on American cities. He doesn’t understand the United States is a nation of immigrants and without them we are in trouble. I guess the only immigrants he found of value were two of his wives, and he even screwed around on them. He uses ICE as if it were his personal Gestapo. He sends National Guard troops across the nation and into D.C. where some picked up trash in the parks and spread mulch. Not what they signed up for, and a total waste of taxpayer’s money. He threatens the world’s nations, allies, and foes alike, with tariffs that end up being a heavy tax on the American taxpayer. He pretends to negotiate deals, like one with China, not even getting us back to the positive relationship we had with them when Biden was president. Trump screws up everything he touches.  He plays footsie with Putin. He refuses to actively support the brave people of Ukraine whose war against Russia is in essence, a proxy war with the West. He gives tax breaks to the rich, and is willing to close the government instead of ensuring everyone has affordable healthcare. He threatens the poor with starvation, and screws with the nation’s healthcare, destroying the CDC, and the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the world’s premier medical research institute. He threatens law firms, universities, and the media, holding them hostage for money. He uses the Department of Justice as his personal law firm to get revenge on anyone he thinks did him wrong. He fires thousands of government workers, and when his incompetent appointments screw up, has to rehire many. He is a grifter, exchanging favors for money for himself, with countries around the world. A plane from Qatar, and billions for his crypto company. 

What Americans are seeing as the result of his incompetence, are prices for food, rent, and education, all going up. Farmers are suffering. All this is what Democrats will campaign on across the nation. 

But they must also campaign on what they will do to make things better. They must talk to their constituents in each District, and determine the focus of their campaigns. What issues to campaign on. Those campaigns could look different in each District. That is how Democrats will win. That is how Democrats won last Tuesday, and that great start will lead to a huge Blue Blowout, on Tuesday, Nov. 3, 2026.


Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

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Building on victory

The bloom is off Trump’s stink-blossom

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President Donald Trump (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Voters handed Democrats a sweeping victory across the country in the Nov. 4 elections. Donald Trump’s Republicans paid dearly for their inability to restrain or conceal their recklessness and cruelty.

In response to being roundly repudiated at the polls, Trump boasted, lied, made insults and threats. Mind you, this is a man who confuses dementia screening with an IQ test. And he once proposed nuking hurricanes.

Trump’s howlers, including the claim that every election he loses is rigged, are persuading fewer and fewer people.

You would never know, on this bright autumn morning, that a pitched battle is underway for the soul of America. As I sip my coffee in the McDonald’s, a little girl walking by with her daddy climbs into the chair at the next table. She is holding a TV remote control for some reason. I ask her not to point it at me because I don’t want to be switched off.

To be honest, there are people I wouldn’t mind switching off, at least from my newsfeed. For example, I saw this headline concerning an obnoxious congresswoman: “Nancy Mace escalates fallout from foul-mouthed airport meltdown with legal threats after criticism from fellow Republicans.”

Is it possible that Rep. Mace, who is running for governor of South Carolina and has been calling trans people crazy, is so starved of attention that she has to scream at officers in airports and threaten lawsuits? I stress that I’m just a humble commentator and do not mean to provoke her.

I can’t help recalling that the phrase “Trump Derangement Syndrome” arose not as a reference to Trump’s own mental health issues but as an effort to deflect such concerns onto his critics. Lately, however, we who wish to be rid of the Worst President Ever have gone from being mad to being domestic terrorists in the eyes of Trump diehards. We are also called insurrectionists, despite never having incited a riot at the U.S. Capitol, because the leading insurrectionist—who deems himself above the law—is considering invoking the Insurrection Act to consolidate dictatorial power.

Are you keeping up with all this? I know it sounds crazy. You never know what jarring images you’ll stumble upon. On election night I switched to CNN, saw former Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel, and immediately reached for my remote control like that little girl in the McDonald’s. And Rahm is a Democrat!

New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani is an immigrant who grew up in New York. I am a native Washingtonian who grew up in Maryland’s 8th congressional district, currently represented by constitutional scholar Jamie Raskin. Raskin has happily dubbed Mamdani an FDR Democrat.

You might think comparing a gifted young politician to Franklin Delano Roosevelt would not scandalize anyone at this point; but you would be wrong. Lots of Republicans still decry FDR as a socialist. These are the same people set on robbing millions of their healthcare and nutritional assistance.

Trump, who hosted a Great Gatsby-themed party at Mar-a-Lago hours before millions of Americans lost their SNAP benefits, touted the Roaring Twenties as a high point in America’s past. I don’t want to burst his bubble, so please don’t tell him that the 1920s ended in a stock market crash that ushered in the Great Depression. God forbid his tariffs lead to another crash. He would likely blame it on Mamdani, rebrand it a communist Islamic jihad, and deport it to Eswatini.

Democrats like me support capitalism, but with guardrails. By contrast, the oligarchs—epitomized by Elon Musk with his recently approved $1 trillion pay package—love to blame others for the harm they cause, while making off with the moolah. Do not fall for it.

I am rooting for Mamdani, who wants working people to be able to afford to live in New York. He includes trans people in his vision. His victory speech was a far cry from the Islamophobic caricature painted by his detractors, who range from right-wing pundits to Andrew Cuomo.

Based on the smears, you might expect the mayor-elect to rush to Washington to demolish part of the White House, had the president not beaten him to it. Yet in the wake of Mamdani’s historic victory, billionaires who fought tooth and nail to defeat him bent the knee and pledged their help.

Mamdani is not the model for all Democrats; he reflects but one part of our diverse coalition. The midterm elections are a year away. All our voices and votes will be needed to defeat the authoritarians.

Copyright © 2025 by Richard J. Rosendall. All rights reserved.


Richard Rosendall is a writer and activist who can be reached at [email protected].

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