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Real estate’s occupational hazards

From being locked out to walking in on naked sellers

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Accessing locked homes for sale presents all sorts of potential problems when showing homes.

“You should write a book.”

I hear that a lot from clients and friends when I tell a real estate story that most people wouldn’t believe unless they had experienced something similar. My colleagues understand.

Most of us have stories about Cujo-like pets, lost keys and stubborn lockboxes and unusual things we have experienced in the industry. And lest we forget, what would any Great American Novel be without sex?

Showing instructions will often say, “Don’t let the cat out.” You will gingerly open the front door hoping the cat is not on alert waiting to escape as you go in the house. If the cat happens to get out despite your best efforts, the natural inclination is to get the cat and put it back in the house. If you are successful, one of two things will happen: first, you will have to stop at the drug store to purchase some Neosporin to dress your wounds or second, you may get a call from the seller’s agent asking why there is an extra cat in the house.

Playing “find the lockbox” is a rewarding game we play, but like a mouse looking for the cheese, there can be dead ends and pitfalls. On one excursion, the box was yet to be found when my client and I spotted a gate to a rear door. We walked over, I pressed the gate latch, and we were in. Unfortunately, the lockbox wasn’t to be found.

So, what do you do? You go back to the gate and press the latch to get out, right? Except some DIY-er has installed a one-way latch. Your client tries to call her mother, who is down the street in the car with the air conditioning on, listening to a Barry Manilow CD. Oops! Her phone is back in the car with Mom. You call the listing agent and get voicemail. You sit down on the concrete bench to think.

Concrete bench, you say? Yes, a 450-pound concrete bench, which we push over next to the gate. My client, who is taller than I, stands on it and I boost her over the top of the gate. Finally, we have completed our exit strategy! We never did get into the house.

You never know who you might find in a house either, especially since COVID-19 restricted the number of people who could be there during a showing to three. I’m sure that didn’t count the vagrant who ran out the back door and left the gas burners he had been using for heat on or the construction workers who left their burger wrappings and half consumed shakes in the bedroom.

Agents can get pretty touchy when you lock them out during your 15-minute showing appointment (yes, that’s a thing now). It gets worse when they find you on your knees with your butt in the air, using a wire hangar (sorry, Mommie Dearest) to try to pull a key up through a 1/8th inch space between deck boards on the front porch where you dropped it. (The owner ultimately came over with another key.)

Sometimes, you have to put your Sherlock Holmes cap on and search for a special feature that is listed on the fact sheet. “Storage near the front door” could actually be an elevator shaft that was never completed. And sometimes, you open a door to an eave in the attic and find your client’s 9-year-old wide-eyed looking in and saying, “This must be where they play Dungeons and Dragons” as her mother drags her out of the room.

Many of us have run across the startled tenant or homeowner who doesn’t get the notification about an appointment. We find them sleeping naked or simply hiding under the covers, flushing the toilet, taking a shower, or in the throes of passion. Despite my habit of calling out, “Real Estate” when opening a front door, sometimes they just can’t hear me.

Years ago, I had a listing appointment with a man who, after keeping me waiting on the porch for 20 minutes, opened the door wearing nothing but a shower wrap and a soap-on-a-rope. I didn’t bother to reschedule.

Then there was the geriatric nymphomaniac who proceeded to snort lines of cocaine from atop the marble countertop in the kitchen as we discussed selling her house while the pool boy hung out in the nearby cabana.

By the way, has anyone heard from him? I’ll go check.

 

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH Real Estate. Call or text her at 202- 246-8602, email her via DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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Real Estate

How to keep cool during a heat wave

Close blinds, use ceiling fans, and more tips

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It’s hot! Here are some ways to keep cool in a heatwave. (Photo by sonyworld/Bigstock)

Did you melt like the Wicked Witch of the West this week?

As summer temperatures rise, keeping your home or apartment cool during a heat wave can become both a comfort issue and a financial challenge. One of the most effective ways to keep a home cool is to prevent heat from entering in the first place. Sunlight streaming through windows can significantly raise indoor temperatures. Consider the following solutions:

• Close blinds or curtains during the hottest parts of the day. Blackout curtains or thermal drapes can reduce heat gain by up to 30%.

• Install reflective window films to block UV rays and reduce solar heat without sacrificing natural light.

• Use outdoor shading solutions such as awnings (yes, the ones you removed because they were “dated”) and shutters to limit direct sunlight.

Fans are a cost-effective way to circulate air and create a wind-chill effect that makes rooms feel cooler.

• Ceiling fans should rotate counterclockwise in the summer to push cool air down.

• Box fans or oscillating fans can be placed near windows to pull in cooler evening air or push hot air out.

• Create a cross-breeze by opening windows on opposite sides of your home and positioning fans to direct airflow through the space.

• For an extra cooling effect, place a bowl of ice or a frozen water bottle in front of a fan to circulate chilled air.

To optimize natural ventilation, open windows early in the morning or late in the evening when outdoor temperatures drop. This allows cooler air to flow in and helps ventilate heat that built up during the day. 

Appliances and electronics generate a surprising amount of heat. To reduce indoor temperatures:

• Avoid using the oven or stove during the day; opt for no-cook meals, microwave cooking, or grilling outside.

• Run heat-producing appliances like dishwashers and clothes dryers in the early morning or late evening.

• Unplug electronics when not in use, as even standby power can add heat to your space.

• Switching to energy-efficient LED lightbulbs can also reduce ambient heat compared to incandescent lighting.

If you do use an air conditioner, maximize its effectiveness by:

• Setting it to a reasonable temperature—around 76–78°F when you’re home and higher when you’re away.

• Cleaning or replacing filters regularly to maintain airflow and efficiency.

• Sealing gaps around doors and windows to prevent cool air from escaping. (Didn’t we all have a parent who said, “Close the door. You’re letting all the cool out?”)

• Using a programmable thermostat to optimize cooling schedules and reduce energy use.

If it is not cost-prohibitive, adding insulation in attics and walls can greatly reduce heat transfer. Solar panels that reflect heat can also help, as well as offset the cost of their installation. Adding weatherstripping around doors and windows, sealing cracks, and using door sweeps can make a significant difference in keeping heat out and cool air in.

Natural and eco-conscious methods can also help cool your home.

• Snake plants, ferns, or rubber trees can improve air quality and slightly cool the air through transpiration.

• White or reflective roof paint can reduce roof temperatures significantly.

• Cooling mats or bedding can make sleeping more comfortable without cranking up the A/C.

For renters or those who can’t make permanent modifications, there are still plenty of ways to keep cool.

• Use portable fans and A/C units instead of built-in systems, making sure they are the correct size for your space.

• Removable window film or static cling tinting can reflect heat without violating your lease.

• Install tension rod curtains or temporary blackout panels instead of hardware-mounted window coverings.

• Add draft blockers and weatherstripping tape that can be applied and removed without damage.

• Cover floors with light-colored rugs to reflect heat rather than absorb it.

• If allowed, use temporary adhesive hooks to hang reflective materials or light-filtering fabrics over windows.

Even if your space is warm, you can still take steps to help your body stay cool.

• Wear light, breathable fabrics like cotton or linen.

• Stay hydrated and avoid caffeine or alcohol during peak heat hours.

• Take cool showers or use damp cloths on your neck and wrists to bring your body temperature down.

Keeping your home or apartment cool in the summer doesn’t have to be expensive or energy-intensive. With a few adjustments such as blocking sunlight, optimizing airflow, using fans effectively, and making renter-friendly upgrades, you can create a more comfortable indoor environment while keeping energy bills in check.


Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs

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Real Estate

The world’s on fire and D.C. is on sale (sort of)

Prices are up, but then again, nothing makes sense anymore

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The housing market remains strong in D.C., especially in upper Northwest. (Photo by Stbaus7/Bigstock)

ICE is disappearing people, revered government agencies are shuttering, and who knows if we’ll be in World War III next week? But can you believe prices in D.C. are actually still up 6.3% since last year? It doesn’t make sense, and perhaps that does make sense, because nothing seems to make any sense any more.

That said, there are some parts of our market that are truly suffering. The interest rates, which have been up, up, up for about four years now, are the ongoing rain on our market’s military parade. Combine that with 75,000 federal employees taking a buyout nationwide, and DOGE cuts eliminating around 40,000 federal jobs in the District (per estimates by the D.C. CFO), not to mention thousands of other job losses in non-governmental organizations due to funding and program cuts, and you’ve got a case of uncertainty, and downright unaffordability in the pool of otherwise would-be buyers.

This has had a marked impact on properties that starter-home buyers and low- to mid-level employees would otherwise buy, most notably condominium and cooperative apartment units. These properties have already slowed in our market thanks to the profound impact that higher interest rates have had on their monthly carrying costs—pair that with job insecurity, and a lot of condos are proving to be very difficult to sell indeed.

So how is the average sale price up in our market?

The increase is almost entirely due to the resounding strength of the single-family home market, especially in upper Northwest D.C., where it is still quite common to see bidding wars, even on properties pushing past the $3M mark. It seems that buyers in that echelon are less impacted by a few percentage points in the interest rate, and less concerned about their job security. Notably, those buyers are often married with children and have an absolute need for more space, must stay in the area due to one spouse’s job, or the kid’s friend group, regardless of whether the cost of owning is thousands of dollars more per month than it would have been in 2020 or 2021. The continued appreciation in these neighborhoods defies imagination.

So, what to do if you are not one of those lucky enough to be shopping for a $3M home? The short answer: wait. If you want more space, rent your current place out and learn the joys of being a landlord while someone else pays your mortgage. Need the equity from your current home to buy your next place? Get a home equity line of credit, or loan, and pull the equity out of your current place to buy the next one. Or—and I have never recommended this before in 21 years of being a Realtor—rent for a few years. Sure, I’d love to list and sell your condo so you can climb the real estate ladder, but it might just be a waste of time, money or both if you could just ride out this storm and sell in a DOGE-less future.

All this said, there are some condos that seem to be immune from this recent negative news. Anecdotally, it feels like it’s the truly special ones that do just fine no matter the market. Our recent listing in Capitol Hill had a view from every one of its 15 windows of the Supreme Court. Sold in five days with six offers. Another condo was on the top two floors of a townhouse and had the coolest black wood floors that gleamed like a grand piano. Sold in four days at full price.

So, all is not for naught if you have a condo or home in an area that people want to be in, with nice space, light, amenities and a certain je ne sais quois. And, as long as we have a democracy in a few years, my experience says our market will be back, stronger than ever, really soon.


David Bediz is a Realtor and mortgage loan broker for the Bediz Group LLC and Home Starts Here, LLC. Reach him at [email protected].

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Real Estate

No Rose, your interest rate has nothing to do with how many likes you got on Hinge

Many factors help determine rates these days

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With the rise of interest rates in recent years, buyers must understand the many factors that go into the final number. (Image by HomeStead Digital/Bigstock)

Picture it, you’re sitting in the lunchroom at work, and your coworker just bought a house. Another coworker bought one a few months ago and you hear that she got a totally different interest rate than the other one did, even though they both bought houses not that far from each other. Homebuyers everywhere have been wondering what interest rates they are going to get, lately. It’s easy to read an article online or see an ad on social media stating specific numbers, but there may be more than meets the eye going into a particular buyer’s interest rate. 

What are the factors that can affect the interest rate a buyer eventually “locks in”?

  • Property details – certain properties may be in neighborhoods with higher rates of foreclosure, or there may be specific census tracts that allow a buyer to participate in the “Fannie Mae Home Ready” and “Freddie Mac Home Possible” programs, which carry more flexible requirements such as various income limits and lower interest rates, to help people begin homeownership.   
  • Type of loan / loan amount– a conventional, conforming loan or a jumbo loan can have differing interest rates, as well as FHA loans. 
  • Credit score – most people are aware that this affects what interest rate is quoted, just like on a credit card. Some lenders will work with you on ways to improve a credit score if the goal is to buy six, nine, or 12 months from now.  
  • Lock period – do you want to lock in the rate for 30 days? 45?  Market volatility can cause the rates to change so it will cost more money to hold onto a particular interest rate. 
  • Loan to value ratio – one can still buy a home with less than 20% down, but the rate that is quoted may be higher. 
  • Occupancy type – is this the primary residence or an investment property?
  • Points bought or credits taken – A buyer can pay the lender a fee to buy down the interest rate, or the seller can sometimes offer a credit. This has become more popular in recent years.
  • Market conditions – keep an eye on the news – as we are all aware, change is the only constant!

Lender Tina del Casale with Atlantic Union Bank says, “With jumbo fixed rates in the low 6’s, and first-time buyer down payment assistance loans such as DC Open Doors, rates are in the mid 7’s. With the added factors of your income, the address you are purchasing and your credit score factoring into the equation, interest rates are different from buyer to buyer these days. So, skip the online tools and make a few calls because that’s the only way to get an accurate quote these days!”

It might feel like an overwhelming amount of information to take on, but remember, there are people that help others take these big steps every day. A trusted lender and Realtor can guide their clients from start to finish when it comes to purchasing a home. And for that, you’ll be saying, “thank you for being a friend!”  


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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