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Queer, Crip and Here: Meet blind writer Caitlin Hernandez

Author navigates intersecting identities in life, work

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Caitlin Hernandez

(Editor’s Note: One in four people in America has a disability, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Queer and disabled people have long been a vital part of the LGBTQ+ community. Take two of the many queer history icons who were disabled: Michelangelo is believed to have been autistic. Marsha P. Johnson, who played a heroic role in the Stonewall Uprising, had physical and psychiatric disabilities. Today, Deaf/Blind fantasy writer Elsa Sjunneson; actor and bilateral amputee Eric Graise who played Marvin in the  “Queer as Folk” reboot; and Kathy Martinez, a blind, Latinx lesbian, Assistant Secretary of Labor for Disability Employment Policy for the Obama administration, are only a few of the queer and disabled people in the LGBTQ community. Yet, the stories of this vital segment of the queer community have rarely been told. In its monthly, yearlong series, “Queer, Crip and Here,” the Blade will tell some of these un-heard stories.)

Some creators agonize for years before plunging into their art.

This wasn’t the case with queer, blind writer and teacher Caitlin Hernandez. Hernandez wrote her first “novel,” “Computer Whiz,” she writes in her bio, when she was in the fourth grade. She kept her monitor off so no one would see her “masterpiece.”

Reading and writing have been a part of Hernandez’s life for as long as she can remember. “I was writing, even as a little kid,” Hernandez, who was born in 1990 and grew up in Danville, Calif., said in a telephone interview with the Blade, “In first grade, I wrote stories in braille. They taught me to type. Because people were having to translate.”

As a kid, Hernandez used a tape recorder to tell stories. “That happens so often with blind kids,” said Hernandez, who lives in San Francisco with her partner Martha and Maite their Rottweiler.

Maite was Martha’s dog when the couple got together. “I call her my ‘stepdogter,’” Hernandez said. It’s clear from the get-go that she doesn’t take herself too seriously. Maite, her “stepdogter,” is “currently writing a picture book,” Hernandez jokes in her bio.

It’s commonly thought that disabled people lead sad, tragic lives. But Hernandez busts this myth. Martha, her partner, “reads braille with her eyes,” Hernandez whimsically writes in her bio.

Hernandez is committed to teaching and writing. But, she “loves eating coffee ice cream, watching Star Trek Voyager, singing, skipping and using her rainbow cane – sometimes all at once,” Hernandez writes in her bio.

Queerness is an integral part of Hernandez’s life: from her fiction, which tells stories of LGBTQ people, disabled people, and people of color to her rainbow cane.

“Queerness is considered cool now in many places,” Hernandez said, “it’s normalized.”

But that’s not true with disability, she added. “Generally, there’s more fear and misperceptions around disabled people,” Hernandez said.

Because of their discomfort with disabled people, she’s often left alone at social and literary gatherings.

“Because I’m blind, people frequently won’t talk to me,” Hernandez said, “even if I’ve read at an open mic.”

To make people feel more comfortable with her, Hernandez, totally blind since birth, sometimes uses a rainbow cane. “I designed it,” she said, “it has the colors of the rainbow flag. If you’re queer, you’ll get that.” 

But it’s also beautiful because it’s a rainbow, Hernandez said, “It’s a great ice-breaker.”

(Hernandez uses her rainbow cane when she’s out with friends. When traveling by herself, she uses the white cane used by most blind people.)

Once people get to know [disabled people],” Hernandez said, “they’re chill with us.”

The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA), a landmark civil rights law, despite problems of enforcement and compliance, has done much to change life for disabled people.

The ADA generation (those born when or after the law was passed) has grown up with the expectation that disabled people have rights. They’re not surprised to see curb cuts or braille menus. They expect employers to make accommodations for disabled employees and hospitals to have sign language interpreters for Deaf people.

Yet despite the ADA, ableism persists (even within her own ADA generation), Hernandez said. A key reason why discomfort with and fear of disabled people is still so pervasive is the problem of representation, she said.

Hernandez, a Lambda Literary Emerging Writer Fellow in 2015 and 2018, is acutely aware of how disabled and queer and disabled people are portrayed in fiction and nonfiction.

“Our lives are often represented so badly,” Hernandez said,  “often by nondisabled creators. There’s a lot of fear and inaccuracy.”

Thankfully, there are a few fab books with disabled characters by disabled authors, Hernandez said. She loves “The Kiss Quotient” by Helen Hoang, who is autistic. The novel portrays the romance of an autistic econometrician and her biracial male escort.

Hernandez is a fan of “The Silence Between us,” a young adult romance featuring a Deaf character, by hard-of-hearing author Alison Gervais.

 “The Chance to Fly,” co-authored by Ali Stroker, the bisexual, Tony-winning actress who uses a wheelchair, and Stacy Davidowitz, is one of Hernandez’s faves. The book, a novel for middle-schoolers, tells the story of a theater-loving, wheelchair using girl, who defies ableist expectations.

Hernandez began to think she was queer when she was in high school. But, she didn’t come out then to anyone except a few of her friends. “They kinda didn’t believe me,” Hernandez said, “because a friend of ours had already come out as queer and they thought I was trying to copy him.”

After she was in college, Hernandez, who earned a bachelor’s degree in literature from the University of California, Santa Cruz in 2012, came out to her parents.

Her folks, now divorced, were fine with her being queer.

Because nondisabled people frequently don’t see disabled people as datable or sexy, some aspects of coming out are more difficult if you have a disability, Hernandez said. “We often miss one of the rites of passage of coming out,” she said, “of saying ‘I am queer – here with my queer date (or partner).’”

Hernandez’s first relationship was with a woman who was closeted. “We couldn’t be out,” she said.

Hernandez got together with her partner Martha in November 2019. Then there was the pandemic and everything was cancelled. “So we didn’t get to go out as an out queer couple,” Hernandez said.

“Everybody knows I’m partnered with Martha,” she added.

But because of ableism, sometimes people don’t see her as Martha’s romantic partner, Hernandez said.

Like many, Hernandez navigates intersecting identities. “I’m thinking more about my being of mixed race,” Hernandez said, “My Mom is white. My Dad is one-half Mexican and one-half German. I can pass as white,” she added.

She’s grappling with what it means to have a Latinx last name, Hernandez said. 

She wishes she had taken Spanish. “But I took French,” Hernandez said, “I wanted to do what my friends were doing.”

As a writer, Hernandez hopes to help children who live with intersecting identities.

Her work has appeared in “Aromatica Poetica,” “Wordgathering” and in “Barriers and Belonging,” “Firsts: Coming Of Age Stories by People with Disabilities” and other anthologies. 

In 2013, “Dreaming in Color,” a musical written by Hernandez, was produced by CRE Outreach at the Promenade Playhouse in Santa Monica, Calif. 

Hernandez’s unpublished young adult novel “Even Touch Has a Tune” is about a queer, blind girl falling in love with another girl and surviving sexual assault, Hernandez said in an email to the Blade. “It’s fiction but has a lot of autobiographical content,” she added.

If you’re disabled, you’re more vulnerable to sexual assault. When she was a freshman, Hernandez became friends with a fully sighted guy who she’d met in her classes. “He seemed nice,” she said, “but then he came over and touched me inappropriately.”

“I froze up,” Hernandez added, “if you’re disabled, you’re vulnerable. You’re taught to be polite – to keep quiet.”

While there’s more representation of disabled people in fiction, Hernandez is still discouraged.

Because of ableism, many literary agents may not want her “disabled and assault novel,” Hernandez said. (Her unpublished YA novel “Even Touch Has a Tune” is represented by Emily Keyes of Keyes Agency.)

Too frequently, representation of disabled people is focused on ableist tropes like “inspiration porn” and “overcoming,” Hernandez said. There isn’t interest in portraying scary, difficult aspects (like sexual assaults) of disabled people’s lives, she added.

But discouragement doesn’t stop Hernandez from writing or from connecting with kids as a teacher.

Hernandez earned a master’s degree in special education and her teaching credentials from San Francisco State University in 2016. Today, she is a resource specialist with the San Francisco Unified School District.

Hernandez enjoys forging a connection with disabled and nondisabled students. “Nondisabled kids come to me for extra help,” she said.

Hernandez has accomplished much. But, “I’ve learned I don’t have to be a role model,” she said, “I don’t have to be perfect.”

Caitlin Hernandez working with BraileNote and BraileSense.
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Theater

Two queer artists ready to debut new operas at Kennedy Center

Works by JL Marlor, Omar Najmi part of American Opera Initiative

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JL Marlor (Photo by Sy Chounchaisit)

American Opera Initiative
Kennedy Center Terrace Theater
Jan. 18, 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.
$25.00 – $39.00
Kennedy-center.org

For those who find traditional opera off-putting or mired in the past, there’s the American Opera Initiative (AOI). Now in its 12th season, the Washington National Opera’s well-known program pairs composers and librettists who under mentorship spend months collaborating on new work, culminating with the premiere of three 20-minute operas. 

Included in this year’s exciting group are queer artists JL Marlor and Omar Najmi. While these multi-taskers lend their composition talents to AOI, they are also performers and arts administrators. Marlor’s bio includes electric guitarist, and performer (she fronts the celebrated indie rock band Tenderheart Bitches), and Najmi divides most of his time writing music and performing as an operatic tenor. 

Marlor and librettist Claire Fuyuko Bierman’s “Cry, Wolf” is a short yet probing opera about three males (a late teen and two college age) who are navigating some dark internet ideologies. The work explores how the red-pilled manosphere pipeline serves as spaces of community for some people. 

“To me it’s a very timely piece inspired by an outlook that has consequences in the real world.”  She adds, “We’ve heard a lot about how angry incels [involuntary celibates] think about women. I want to hear what incels think about themselves.”

While Marlor tends to gravitate toward more serious opera pieces, Fuyuko Bierman, whose background includes standup, tends toward humor.

“I think this work brought out the best in both of us. The libretto feels like a comedy until suddenly it doesn’t.”

Marlor was introduced to opera through osmosis. At her gay uncles’ house there was always music – usually Maria Callas or Beverly Sills. She appreciated grand opera but not with the same ardor of true buffs. But her relationship with opera changed dramatically while attending Smith College.

“I was lucky enough to have Kate Soper as my first composition teacher and saw her opera ‘Here Be Sirens’ as my first piece of modern opera. I was totally hooked.” 

Originally from picturesque Beverly, Mass., Marlor now lives in Brooklyn with her partner and their very senior dog. For Marlor, coming out at 25 in 2017 wasn’t entirely smooth, but finding support among the many queer women in the world of classical music helped. And more recently, AOI has bolstered her confidence in continuing a career in the arts, she says. 

Najmi and librettist Christine Evans’ opera is titled “Mud Girl.” Set against a post-apocalyptic, climate-affected world, it’s the story of a mother, daughter, and the daughter’s child Poly, created from toxic detritus, trying to navigate relationships. 

“Most people go into opera without having had a ton of exposure.  Often through musical theater or choir,” says Najmi, 37. In his case, he was pursuing a BFA in musical theater at Ithaca College. After an unanticipated internal transfer to the School of Music, where he transitioned from baritone to young gifted tenor, his interest veered toward opera. 

While enjoying a performance career, he wrote his first opera on a whim. “And now,” he says “composition is my creative passion. Singing is more like a trade or sport. I love the action of doing it and practicing.” 

In one of his recent operas, “Jo Dooba So Paar,” Najmi, who is half Pakistani American, draws specifically from personal experience, exploring how queer and Muslim don’t necessarily need to be conflicting identities. And while he grew up in liberal Boston in a secular environment, he still had insights into what it means to exist in two worlds. It’s a story he wanted to tell.  

On a broader level, he says coming of age in the 1990s and aughts, on the cusp of homosexuality becoming normalized and accepted, created certain angsts. Today, his artist’s voice is drawn to the sentimentality that comes with unrequited longing.

What’s more, Najmi collaborates with his husband Brendon Shapiro. In 2022, the Boston-based couple co-founded Catalyst New Music, an organization dedicated to fostering, developing, and producing new works. 

AOI’s three 20-minute operas will be led by conductor George Manahan and performed by Cafritz Young Artists on Jan. 18, at 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. in the Kennedy Center Terrace Theater. 

Following their world premiere at the Kennedy Center, the three operas will travel to New York City in a co-presentation with the Kaufman Music Center. The Jan. 23 performance will mark AOI’s first appearance in New York City.

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Music & Concerts

Gay Men’s Chorus starting the year with a cabaret

‘Postcards’ to be performed at CAMP Rehoboth

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The Gay Men's Chorus of Washington performs 'Postcards' in Rehoboth Beach, Del. on Jan. 18. (Photos courtesy of the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington)

The Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington will perform “Postcards,” a cabaret, on Saturday, Jan. 18 at 5:00p.m. and 8:00p.m. at CAMP Rehoboth Elkins-Archibald Atrium. 

In this performance, the choir will share hilarious and heart-warming stories and songs about the travel adventures they’ve had and hope to have. Songs include “Midnight Train to Georgia,” “Streets of Dublin,” “Magic To Do,” “Home,” and “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” Tickets cost $35 and can be purchased on Camp Rehoboth’s website.

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Calendar

Calendar: January 10-16

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, January 10

“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected]

Women in their Twenties and Thirties will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, join their closed Facebook Group

Go Gay DC will host “First Friday LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Puro Gusto. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, January 11

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Ms. Capital Pride will host “MAL Weekend Drag Brunch” at 12 p.m. at Baby Shank. Guests will enjoy a lively gathering full of joy, laughter, and connection. They will also indulge in food and drinks while enjoying dazzling performances and entertainment. Tickets are $27 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

LGBTQ People of Color Support Group will be at 1 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgement free. For more information and events for LGBTQ People of Color, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.

Sunday, January 12

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Dinner” at 6:30 p.m. at Federico Ristorante Italiano. Guests are encouraged to come enjoy an evening of Italian-style dining and conversation with other LGBTQ folk. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

DC9 Nightclub will host “Dance Club” at 8 p.m. at 1940 9th St., N.W. At this event, Jacq Jill and Flotussin will join Dance Club for the Sunday night closing party of MAL Weekend at DC9. The Baltimore staples will be joined by Dance Club resident DJs Baronhawk Poitier, Joyce Lim & Tommy C, plus Artemis on lights, to close out a jam-packed MAL 2025. Tickets start at $10 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

Monday, January 13

Center Aging: Monday Coffee & Conversation will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of their choice. For more details, email [email protected]

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary. Whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook

Tuesday, January 14

Trans Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group  is intended to provide emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected].  

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-facilitated discussion group and a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook page. 

Wednesday, January 15

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, January 16

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5:00 pm if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga with Charles M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.

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