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Obituaries are lively stories of lives

Celebrating our dead has become more important than ever

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(Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

On Jan.1, I wished my dear ones a happy New Year and enjoyed reading the obituaries. 

This person is a wackadoodle, you’re likely thinking. Who enjoys reading the obituaries — especially on New Year’s — you may wonder?

I get why this strikes many as morbid. Yet, strange as it probably seems, few things are more life affirming than obits. Particularly, for the LGBTQ community.

Obituaries are far from dole, death-obsessed dirges. They are (pun intended) lively stories of lives, according to composer Steven Sondheim whose lyrics and music enliven the imagination of everyone from middle-schoolers going “Into the Woods” to elders remembering “Gypsy.”

Jim Kolbe, the first Republican member of the House of Representatives. Isabel Torres, the actress who played Cristina Ortiz Rodriguez, the transgender singer, on “Veneno,” the HBO Max series.    

“It’s counterintuitive, perhaps, but obituaries have next to nothing to do with death and absolutely everything to do with life,” Margalit Fox, then a New York Times obituary writer, says in “Obit,” the 2017 documentary about The New York Times obituary department.

It’s a fact of life that we’ll all die. But when we tell the stories of those who’ve died, we keep the memories of deceased people alive. As I wrote in the Blade in 2017, obituaries ensure that people, famous or not, have a place in history.

For centuries, queer people have been erased from history. Obituaries have been a telling, poignant reveal of this erasure.

Those of us queer folk who are over 40, or even 30, have seen this erasure again and again. 

Until recently, our relationships with our lovers and spouses who have died have usually been omitted or distorted in obituaries. In 2001, when my partner Anne died, I appreciated that the Washington Post published an obituary about her. Yet, as was common just a little over 20 years ago, the obituary writer referred to me as my spouse’s “companion.”

I was far from alone. Historically, many grieving LGBTQ people have not had their connections to their deceased queer partners recognized in obits. 

Untold millions of LGBTQ people have had their queerness omitted from obituaries. Every day Achy Obejas read the obituaries, Obejas wrote in the Chicago Reader in 1988 during the height of the AIDS crisis. “What I do is look for dead men who were gay…because neither daily [newspaper] ordinarily offers any hint of their real lives.”

Obejas scanned the obits for telling clues of queer erasure. “If he was between 22 and 50, if his only survivors are Mom and Pop,” Obejas wrote, “I know I’m onto something.”

When Marsha P. Johnson, the transgender activist who played a pivotal role in the Stonewall Uprising, died in 1992, her death wasn’t noted in most mainstream press obits. When queer writer and intellectual Susan Sontag died in 2004, most of the obituaries didn’t mention her relationship with Annie Leibovitz.

Thankfully, stories of the lives of LGBTQ people are told more frequently now in obits. Take Marsha P. Johnson. The New York Times has added Johnson’s story to “Overlooked” – its series on notable people from marginalized groups (queer people, disabled people, women, people of color, etc.) whose obituaries didn’t appear in the Times.

In our current climate when anti-queer sentiment and violence against our community is rising, celebrating our dead has become more important than ever.

More than 306 anti-trans laws have been introduced in state legislatures in the past two years (with 86% focusing on transgender youth), NPR reported.

Henry Berg-Brousseau, 24, a transgender activist and a Human Rights Campaign deputy press secretary, died by suicide on Dec. 16. “Not long ago he said to me ‘Mom, they say it gets better, but it is not getting better, it is getting worse and I’m scared,’” Dr. Karen Berg, a Kentucky state senator and Berg-Brousseau’s mother, told The New York Times. (If you have thoughts of suicide, contact the trevorproject.org.) 

Every year, I look forward to compiling the In Memoriam feature for the Blade. Over the years, we’ve noted the lives of everyone from an executive of Macy’s Thanksgiving parade to an expert on coral reefs to LGBTQ ally Valerie Harper.

Remembering LGBTQ folk who’ve died, keeps us from despair. It keeps our history alive.  No one can take that away from us.

Kathi Wolfe, a writer and poet, is a regular contributor to the Blade. 

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Opinions

Trump, Netanyahu, and Putin are all war criminals

We are living in a world of chaos as a result

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From left, Donald Trump, Benjamin Netanyahu and Vladimir Putin. (Photo of Trump by andykatz; photo of Netanyahu by palinchak; photo of Putin by vverve / Bigstock)

Today there are war criminals leading three major governments. President Trump here in the United States, Benjamin Netanyahu in Israel, and Vladimir Putin in Russia. The world would be a better place if they were thrown into a jail cell together, and the key tossed away. 

We are living in a world of chaos. Although these three are not responsible for all of it, they have a major role. All three are carrying out wars that they can’t win. Wars that should have never been started. In the process they are not only killing their stated enemies, but they’re also causing the deaths of their own people. 

Here in the United States, we have a felon in the White House, who has done nothing but create chaos in the world since he took office. He has broken every promise he made to get elected, and while many of us knew they were all lies, he won anyway. He promised lower rents, lower mortgage rates, lower inflation, lower gas prices, lower grocery prices, and importantly, no new wars. He has accomplished the exact opposite in each of those areas. He began a war with Iran and started by bombing a school, mistake or not, killing innocent children. This after declaring war on immigrants here at home using his ICE Gestapo. He apparently thinks if he creates chaos, and then gets things back to close to where they were before he acted, he can claim victory.  But even that seems out of his reach. 

Then there is Prime Minister Netanyahu in Israel. His actions have made things worse not only for his enemies, but for Israelis at home, and Jews around the world. He began a war against Iran that he can’t win. He has committed war crimes against the Palestinian people in Gaza, and the West Bank, and by his actions brought out more anti-Semitism around the world. For me personally, he has made it more difficult to explain to people when I say I am a Zionist, it means I support the existence of the State of Israel, not its war criminal leader, and his government. He should have heeded what President Biden said to him after the Oct. 7 attack on Israel by Hamas. While retribution and getting back the hostages Hamas took was crucial, Biden counseled not to go overboard in response, like the United States did after 9/11. Instead, Netanyahu has killed thousands of Palestinian women and children, and has not made Israel much safer. He then began the war with Iran, and sent troops to fight in Lebanon. Yes, the Iranian government funds Hezbollah and Hamas, but one must ask if anything is better after Netanyahu’s actions. Israelis continue living in a state of active war. 

Then there is Putin in Russia. He believed he could attack Ukraine and walk away with pieces of their country, maybe even all of it. Instead, he has Russia embroiled in a four-year war, killing thousands of Ukrainians, including many women and children, destroying parts of their country, and losing thousands of his own troops in a war he can’t win. His own people are suffering, and now, four years later, Ukraine has shown it still has the ability to attack Moscow. All three of these men have managed to show the weaknesses of their own countries.

In his effort to bluster through his many failures, Trump has destroyed relationships with our allies. It will take years, if ever, for them to trust the United States again. He invaded Venezuela and stole their oil, is starving Cuba, and created unease with Canada and Mexico on our own borders. He thinks this makes him look like a strongman, when it really shows all of his weaknesses. People should remember the treaty he abrogated with Canada and Mexico, was one he negotiated in his first term. Now he invites Chinese President, Xi, to the United States, and gives him the same red-carpet welcome he previously gave to Putin in Alaska, and in both cases, received nothing in return. He tries to keep the press he doesn’t like from having access to him. 

All three are facing crucial elections that could severely impact their futures. Only Putin, a true dictator, is assured of winning because he controls the process. Trump is trying to emulate him, to keep from losing the Nov. 3, mid-term elections. Thankfully the courts are trying to stop him. Netanyahu could face being thrown out on Oct. 27, if Israelis do the right thing. 

Again, I truly believe putting the three of them in a jail cell together would make our troubled world a little safer, and a much better place. 


Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

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Commentary

Center Arts Gallery celebrates 10 years with reception, auction

Oct. 17 fundraiser to feature jazz combo, artwork created on site

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(Photo by Gilmanshin/Bigstock)

Ten years ago, I had a vision: to create a dedicated space within The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center for local LGBTQ+ artists to share their creativity in a community space conceived specifically for them. That vision became the Center Arts Gallery. Over the past decade, the Center Arts Gallery has grown into a true home for our LGBTQ+ siblings, a place illuminating our joy, resistance, and resilience through the power of art.

Art is so much more than decoration. It can be a powerful protest, a keeper of memories, a testament to survival, and a vivid reminder that our lived experiences deserve to be seen, heard, and deeply valued. When we created the Center Arts Gallery, our goal was to remove barriers so that queer artists could feel welcomed, supported, and completely free to express themselves. Now, as we mark the incredible 10th anniversary of Center Arts, love truly comes full circle as many of those same amazing artists and creatives are giving back by donating their artwork for a special benefit auction.

On Saturday, Oct. 17, 2026, The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center will host our annual Fall Reception and Art Auction, celebrating 10 years of Center Arts Gallery at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W., with an ambitious fundraising target of $25,000. 

Appropriately themed “The Art of Belonging,” this milestone celebration will bring our community together with intention, uniting multiple forms of local queer creativity under one roof. The evening promises to be an unforgettable experience. 

We are thrilled to have the celebration hosted by award-winning spoken word artist, poet, and educator Charity Blackwell. Attendees will enjoy smooth jazz selections performed by 2nd Independence — a jazz combo from the DC Different Drummers — alongside delicious heavy hors d’oeuvres provided by Shaw Tavern and exquisite dessert offerings by celebrity chef Patrick Vanas.

Throughout the night artwork will be created live on site, joining the online pieces generously donated by local artists.

Most importantly, every dollar raised during the reception and auction goes directly toward sustaining The DC Center’s life-affirming programs and supportive services. From food assistance providing nourishing meals, the free food pantry, and behavioral health counseling, to trauma-informed case management, resource navigation, HIV/STI testing, and essential hygiene services like showers, laundry, and a clothing boutique, our doors remain open because

of community support. These funds also support our cyber lounge, mail and locker services, harm reduction supplies, and critical wellness programs.

To ensure that everyone in our community can fully participate, ASL interpretation will be provided during the event program. We offer flexible ways to join us: General Admission is free (currently at capacity), with custom signature cocktails, wine, and beer available for purchase.

For those looking for an elevated evening, our $75 VIP Experience includes early admission at 6 p.m., early online auction access, complimentary Champagne (6-7 p.m.), an intimate opportunity to mingle with participating artists, a special swag bag, plus an open beer and wine bar throughout the entire evening.

For 10 years, Center Arts Gallery has shown us that belonging is an art form we create together. As we look back on a decade of community and look forward to the future, I invite you to join us, support local queer artists, and invest in the essential programs that keep our community thriving. Let’s come together to ensure that The DC Center can continue to educate, empower, uplift, and connect us all for generations to come.


Kimberley Bush is executive director of The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center.

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Opinions

The facts about Victory Fund’s investigation and the path forward

Probe did not find legal or policy violations by Evan Low

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Gov. Andy Beshear (D-Ky.) speaks with Victory Fund President and CEO Evan Low at the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund National Champagne Brunch on April 19. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

William Waybourn helped found an organization whose mission has never been more important, but his recent op-ed in the Washington Blade leaves readers with a fundamentally inaccurate impression about how the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund and Institute Boards responded to concerns raised about our organizations, their leadership, and our governance responsibilities. 

The boards did not dismiss or minimize concerns. We did what responsible governing bodies should do: We took them seriously, retained experienced independent legal counsel, and authorized a thorough investigation to establish the facts.

The investigation proceeded without interference from the boards or organizational leadership, and the full boards were briefed on its eventual finding.

The conclusion matters: The investigation did not substantiate any legal or policy violations. After the briefing, the boards voted unanimously to accept the findings and close the investigation.

An independent investigation is meaningful only if we are prepared to respect its conclusions — whatever they may be. In this case, after reviewing the investigation and its findings, the boards continue to have confidence in President and CEO Evan Low.

That does not mean our work as governing bodies is finished or that any organization is beyond improvement. The boards will continue to work with staff strengthening Victory, including reviewing and updating policies to ensure they reflect best practices and support a strong working environment.

We can take matters raised seriously while also being clear about what an independent investigation did and did not find. Those are not contradictory positions. In fact, maintaining both is essential to treating everyone involved fairly.

Victory has endured for more than three decades because its mission is bigger than any one individual — a founder, board member, CEO, staff member, candidate, elected official, or donor. Generations of people have built Victory into an indispensable force for LGBTQ+ political representation, and those entrusted with governing it today take seriously our responsibility to protect that legacy and strengthen Victory for what comes next.

And what comes next could not be more consequential. Election Day is weeks away, LGBTQ+ candidates across the country are facing enormously important races, and our community continues to confront attacks on our rights and representation.

We will continue exercising the oversight expected of us, strengthening the Victory organizations, and focusing on the urgent work Victory was created to do: training and helping elect LGBTQ+ leaders, and ensuring our community has a voice wherever decisions about our lives are made.

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