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Foster parents need more vetting, training for LGBTQ children

30,000 queer kids age out of system each year

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About 30,000 children age out of foster care each year and 70 percent of those children wind up homeless.

About 30,000 children age out of foster care each year and 70 percent of those children wind up homeless. The majority of the homeless population under the age of 18 are LGBTQ youth, often who can’t find an inclusive home and enter group homes where more prevalent mental, sexual, and psychological abuse turns them to the streets.

When an LGBTQ child enters the foster care system, the pot of eligible homes becomes smaller, said Rob Scheer, the founder of Comfort Cases, a non-profit that supplies personal care items to youth entering the foster care system. 

“The first thing we think of as kids in our system when we realize that we are part of the LGBTQ+ family, is why am I damaged?” said Scheer, a gay man who experienced the foster care system as a child. “Why am I not given that open space to be free and be who I am?”

The average child in foster care moves from three to four homes before finding a long-term placement. This is often due to foster care agencies’ neglect to inform foster parents that a child is a part of the LGBTQ community. However, when foster parents are informed of the child’s identity, less movement occurs.

Even when children come out as being LGBTQ and the foster parents allow them to stay, some homes do so in order to receive a monthly stipend from the government or private foster agency, Scheer said. This puts children at risk of both direct and indirect mental abuse.

Indirect heterosexism that sends micro-messages of shame is extremely harmful to kids, according to Chloe Perez, the CEO of Hearts and Homes for Youth, a non-profit working with children with higher levels of need, such as therapy appointments for a mental health diagnosis. 

“We have had parents who have talked about, ‘Oh, you know, his frilly, girly, feminine ways,” said Perez. “Maybe they’re not saying I hate gay people…but it’s that subliminal messaging all the time that is equally detrimental.”

It’s common for LGBTQ children to either stay quiet about their sexuality or identity or act out to disrupt a placement before they risk rejection from the family.  

By age five or six, many children already experience rejection and the resulting trauma from multiple placements, Perez added. However, when foster parents know how to manage disruptive behaviors, there’s less risk of additional placement disruption.

But this requires specific vetting and training procedures for potential foster parents. 

Once potential foster parents complete all of the state’s criteria, Hearts and Homes for Youth provide an additional, extensive training program. Since some kids come into the non-profit’s care after 14 or 15 placements, this process includes trauma-response training that informs parents of a child’s possible emotional reactions.

If any foster parent says they don’t want to foster LGBTQ or BIPOC kids, Perez said they try to understand where the parents’ concern stems from to resolve the issue.

“[Whether it’s] cultural, age or based around religion…we have seen that sometimes just really having that in-depth conversation can help them shift,” said Perez. “If they’re not willing to do that, then that’s a no-go.”

Parents are often more direct when it comes to saying they won’t take an LGBTQ child as opposed to a child of color, Perez added, because people are more comfortable openly expressing their opinions about sexual orientation or identity than race, which is more commonly condemned.

If problems arise once a child is in a foster home, an agent conducts an at-home check-in to assess whether the foster parent needs to redo training. However, most issues after the placement are centered around parents’ discipline practices, such as smacking a child, rather than discrimination.

In the case that a foster home isn’t suitable, Hearts and Homes for Youth also offers five group homes and an independent living program for pregnant and parenting teen moms. 

However, the high rate of suicide among LGBTQ children in foster care continues to reflect the conditions for most LGBTQ kids beyond their care.

“What we need to do in society is step up our social responsibility and make sure that we are giving these kids everything that I give to my five children,” said Scheer. “Guidance, unconditional support, and unconditional love.”

For information on how to become a foster parent in D.C., visit Child and Family Services Agency.

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District of Columbia

Activist hosts Diwali celebration in D.C.

More than 120 people attended Joshua Patel’s party on Nov. 9.

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Joshua Patel hosted a Diwali celebration at the Speakeasy at Capo Deli on Florida Avenue, N.W., on Nov. 9, 2025. (Photo courtesy of Josh Patel)

LGBTQ activist and businessman Joshua Patel hosted a community Diwali party on Nov. 9.

Patel organized the event as a community gathering amid the Trump-Vance administration’s policies against LGBTQ inclusion and DEI. The event, held at the Capo Deli speakeasy, drew more than 120 attendees, including local business leaders.

Patel is a franchise owner of ProMD Health, recently awarded as the best med spa by the Washington Blade. He is also a major gift officer at Lambda Legal.

Patel noted that upon moving from New York to Washington in 2022, he desired a chance for community-based Diwali celebrations. He stated that the city offered minimal chances for gatherings beyond religious institutions, unless one was invited to the White House’s Diwali party. 

“With our current administration, that gathering too has ended — where we cannot expect more than Kash Patel and President Trump lighting a ‘diya’ candle on Instagram while simultaneously cutting DEIB funding,” Patel said.

In addition to celebrating the festival of lights and good over evil, Patel saw the event as a moment to showcase “rich, vibrant culture” and “express gratitude.”

Patel coined the celebration a “unifier.”

“From a spiritual angle, Shiva was the world’s first transgender God, taking the form of both “male” and “female” incarnations,” Patel said. “The symbolism of our faith and concepts are universal and allows for all to rejoice in the festivities as much or little as they desire.”

Savor Soiree, DMV Mini Snacks and Capo Deli catered the event. DJ Kush spun music and Elisaz Events decorated the Diwali celebration.

The Diwali party also featured performances by former Miss Maryland Heather Young Schleicher, actor Hariqbal Basi, Patel himself and Salatin Tavakoly and Haseeb Ahsan.

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Maryland

Harford school board appeals state’s book ban decision to circuit court

5-2 ruling in response to ‘Flamer’ directive

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The book “Flamer” is by Mike Curato, who wrote about his experience being bullied as a kid for being gay. (Photo by Kristen Griffith for the Baltimore Banner)

By KRISTEN GRIFFITH | Marking a historic moment in Maryland’s debate over school library censorship, Harford County’s school board voted Thursday to appeal the state’s unprecedented decision overturning its ban of a young adult graphic novel, pushing the dispute into circuit court.

The 5-2 vote followed a recent ruling from the state board overturning Harford’s ban of the book “Flamer.” In a special meeting Thursday afternoon, board members weighed whether to seek reconsideration or take the matter to circuit court — ultimately opting to appeal.

The book “Flamer” is by Mike Curato, who wrote about his experience being bullied as a kid for being gay.

The rest of this article can be found on the Baltimore Banner’s website.

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National

US bishops ban gender-affirming care at Catholic hospitals

Directive adopted during meeting in Baltimore.

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A 2024 Baltimore Pride participant carries a poster in support of gender-affirming health care. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops this week adopted a directive that bans Catholic hospitals from offering gender-affirming care to their patients.

Since ‘creation is prior to us and must be received as a gift,’ we have a duty ‘to protect our humanity,’ which means first of all, ‘accepting it and respecting it as it was created,’” reads the directive the USCCB adopted during their meeting that is taking place this week in Baltimore.

The Washington Blade obtained a copy of it on Thursday.

“In order to respect the nature of the human person as a unity of body and soul, Catholic health care services must not provide or permit medical interventions, whether surgical, hormonal, or genetic, that aim not to restore but rather to alter the fundamental order of the human body in its form or function,” reads the directive. “This includes, for example, some forms of genetic engineering whose purpose is not medical treatment, as well as interventions that aim to transform sexual characteristics of a human body into those of the opposite sex (or to nullify sexual characteristics of a human body.)”

“In accord with the mission of Catholic health care, which includes serving those who are vulnerable, Catholic health care services and providers ‘must employ all appropriate resources to mitigate the suffering of those who experience gender incongruence or gender dysphoria’ and to provide for the full range of their health care needs, employing only those means that respect the fundamental order of the human body,” it adds.

The Vatican’s Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith in 2024 condemned gender-affirming surgeries and “gender theory.” The USCCB directive comes against the backdrop of the Trump-Vance administration’s continued attacks against the trans community.

The U.S. Supreme Court in June upheld a Tennessee law that bans gender-affirming medical interventions for minors.

Media reports earlier this month indicated the Trump-Vance administration will seek to prohibit Medicaid reimbursement for medical care to trans minors, and ban reimbursement through the Children’s Health Insurance Program for patients under 19. NPR also reported the White House is considering blocking all Medicaid and Medicare funding for hospitals that provide gender-affirming care to minors.

“The directives adopted by the USCCB will harm, not benefit transgender persons,” said Francis DeBernardo, executive director of New Ways Ministry, a Maryland-based LGBTQ Catholic organization, in a statement. “In a church called to synodal listening and dialogue, it is embarrassing, even shameful, that the bishops failed to consult transgender people, who have found that gender-affirming medical care has enhanced their lives and their relationship with God.” 

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